The Frustrations of Dating A Thai Woman

A little background on me before getting started: I’m a 55-year-old single guy from the US.

I have a slim build with a full set of gray hair and consider myself decent looking and youthful for 55.

I’ve gone to strip clubs in the US for 30 years, massage parlors, and paid for bedroom fun classes in Vegas and the Caribbean.

I love to research and plan my solo trips.

The main problem traveling solo is the evenings.

I hate dining alone and later sitting in the hot tub alone.

I figured I could alleviate that problem with a trip to Thailand.

Table of Contents

Researching Thailand Before Taking The Leap

I researched off and on for five years with a pandemic included.

I watched YouTube videos from several channels, I felt I had a good grasp of the Sukhumvit area, and my previous experiences would help me avoid falling in love with a bar girl or getting scammed.

My trip would be 14 days. I’d go to Bangkok for a week, then Phuket for five nights.

I’d go for the vacation experience, the culture, learn to navigate Bangkok, go on a few excursions, and check out the GoGo bars for myself.

Searching Online For Thai Girls Before My Trip

A short trip didn’t leave much time to really meet a good Thai girl, but I figured I’d give it a try anyway by visiting a dating site.

Two weeks before I left for Thailand, I chose Thai Friendly.

I created an honest profile and researched tips online for getting responses.

I quickly figured out how to weed out the freelancers, ladyboys, and older women, but I was not getting any responses back from the younger audience.

So, I changed my age from 55 to 50.

Making My Move With Girls Online

I messaged this 30-year-old girl who had just joined a couple of days ago, and to my surprise, she messaged me back.

By now, I had upgraded to premium, so there wasn’t a limit to messages back and forth.

I Googled her username because many times people’s names have a special meaning.

I wasn’t aware at the time that many Thai women used nicknames because their true names can be difficult to pronounce.

Google said that her name was actually the name of a famous young Thai actress.

I asked her if she liked the actress, and I think me knowing of this relation gave me the foot in the door.

We quickly moved our conversation to Line.

My research told me what to expect with good Thai women, what their expectations are in a man, and in general, what kind of cultural differences I would encounter.

I treated her with respect and humor.

I never brought up the topic of bedroom fun or money.

I didn’t fall all over her, I teased her a bit and gave her some compliments.

Meeting My Online Girl For The First Time

I asked if she’d be interested in meeting me for dinner one night during my upcoming visit, and she said yes.

I didn’t have any expectations as I was on holiday.

I had many plans, and dinner with this young woman was one of my experiences.

A few hours before dinner, she texted that her sister would be joining us.

We were going to a nice restaurant, where we’d probably be eating expensive seafood, and I didn’t want to pay for her sister.

Araya texted back that her sister decided not to join us.

We met for dinner at Central World Mall.

She got there first.

Araya texted me before I arrived and said that she was there, but she was worried because she said she thought she was shorter and not as pretty as in her photographs on Thai Friendly.

I knew most of those photographs are photoshopped and that most Thai women top out at 5’4″.

When she arrived, she took off her mask, and my jaw dropped to the floor.

She was very pretty and had a great smile.

Language Barrier Did Not Stop Us

Araya was probably 5’2″.

She hardly spoke any English, but that didn’t stop us from having an amazing dinner.

Between my broken Thai phrases, Google Translate, and universal hand gestures, we laughed all night.

We instantly clicked.

We agreed to set up a second dinner date the next night.

We went to Red Sky, Red Rooftop Bar and Restaurant, another superb dining experience.

We took each other’s pictures and never looked at our phones the entire evening.

She was so cute.

After dinner, I told her I was going to Phuket and then home, but I enjoyed meeting her so much.

She got sad because she thought I was in Bangkok for a month.

I told her I could cancel my trip to Phuket, but she told me she worked all weekend, so I should go ahead.

Araya recently graduated from nursing school and worked as an operating room nurse.

She still dorms at the hospital.

I went to Phuket, she messaged me every morning and every evening.

Is This Normal Or Is She Playing Games?

We made arrangements for one or more dinner dates before I left.

I saw her as a normal Thai girl, educated with a job and a car.

Her sister was unmarried with a son.

Her sister lived in Bangkok too.

Their mother worked in a clothing shop up north and only saw the daughters once a year.

A part of me thought I’d find a diamond in the rough.

I had been in the right place at the right time and found a good Thai girl who liked me, whether she saw me as a potential provider or what it was too early to say.

Still, there was always a voice of caution in the back of my head telling me this might not be real.

The problem was it felt real.

Before I flew back home, I said I could come back to Thailand in three months if she wanted me to.

I had told her that I didn’t come to Thailand looking for a girlfriend, but that I was having so much fun with her, it felt like the real deal.

She agreed, and we started discussing my return.

Three months would be March, and although it would be hot, she actually agreed to take a trip with me to Phuket for five nights.

Now I’m thinking something’s not right here.

The Age Difference Did Not Seem To Bother Her

We got on fabulously.

She’s truthfully 25 years younger than me.

We went on three dates, and now she’s agreeing to travel with me.

I was very skeptical, but I thought as long as she’s willing, why not? Let’s see where this goes.

I kept expecting her to ask for money or something.

We messaged online daily.

With the time difference, she was 12 hours ahead of me.

When I woke up at 8 AM, she was off work and getting ready for bed at 8 PM.

And when I was going to bed, she was getting up.

We messaged during the daytime too.

Araya shared videos of her releasing fish into the river and lunch with her girlfriends.

She showed me pictures of her and her friends at the hospital.

Araya even showed me videos of the operating room where she worked.

She shared videos of her working out before her trip.

Araya kept saying she would like to see snow.

She said she wanted to come and take care of me and my aging mother in the states.

Araya had never truly asked for money.

A couple of times she had asked if I wanted to support her when buying clothes for our trip, but I didn’t pursue it because I didn’t want to send money.

Did I Get Lucky? Is This Thai Girl Being Genuine?

When I looked at buying tickets and making reservations for a trip, I confirmed she was still on board.

I asked her if she was really okay with sharing a hotel room and a bed.

She asked if we could do two beds.

I said sure, okay.

I made the reservations.

I’m still wondering if this is real

So, when I made airline reservations, I asked for her real name, birthday, and her Thai ID number.

She provided everything.

So, I’m thinking if she’s scamming me, then why would she provide all this information?

We did a couple of video call dates where she went out to dinner and we chatted during dinner.

I’m thinking that somehow I actually got lucky and found something unique.

Even though in the back of my head, I was remembering all those YouTube stories.

About six weeks before my return to Thailand, she started calling me her boyfriend.

She hadn’t logged back into her Thai Friendly account at this point.

I’ve got an extra spring in my step.

I’m loving life.

Still skeptical, I can figure she’s either fooling herself, and I’ll go along with her until she stops fooling herself, or this might be real.

My Thai Girlfriend Wants Me To Pay For English Classes

She talked about two relationships before where her boyfriend cheated or was even secretly married.

The video call was my idea, and we told each other we’d never tried a long-distance relationship before.

I surprised her with flowers delivered to the hospital on Valentine’s Day, and she showed me a picture of her with a basket.

I’m a novice using Line, and actually thought it translated our text back and forth.

When I realized she had been copying and pasting into Google Translate and copying and pasted him back, I started doing that for myself in order to save her time.

I always try to look favourably on the chats because I knew the translations weren’t perfect.

She sent me photos of her learning English online, but she wanted to be able to speak better English.

I suggested a school, and she came back with a tutor, a friend of a friend.

The tutor could tutor her for 500 Baht an hour.

She told me 20 to 30 hours would help a lot, but the tutor wanted half the money upfront, 10,000 to 15,000 Baht.

I told her I was uncomfortable sending money, and she said she was okay with that.

She would arrange for me to meet the tutor on the day before our trip.

She Is Now Calling Me Her Boyfriend

I wasn’t crazy about shelling out cash before the trip, but I agreed.

Again, we are messaging each other several times a day.

About three weeks before our trip, her work schedule changes, and she started working nights.

She went three days without saying good night or good morning to me.

I didn’t judge her, but I thought, yeah, it’s possible she’s with someone else and can’t send me a voice message or get into the glowing green Line app while she’s in this other guy’s company.

Or maybe she’s really was working a different shift and tired all the time.

About the same time, I was visiting with friends in Las Vegas.

I told them that we’re going on this trip together but still haven’t talked about intimacy.

The woman friend said that I should bring it up beforehand.

I wasn’t sure about it, but I decided to go with the woman’s perspective.

I struggled with how to bring it up, so I decided to confirm our reservations at the resort with her and asked her if she still wanted one bed.

At this point, she’s calling me her boyfriend on a daily basis, and I didn’t think it was unreasonable to ask.

Time For Our Second Meeting In Thailand

She said one bed, not two.

She went on to explain she hadn’t been with a man for a while, and she didn’t want to have bedroom fun yet.

The next two weeks before the trip, she was noticeably distant in our chats.

Was it the confirmation of the sleeping arrangements?

Was it because she was working a new shift and tired all the time?

Had she met someone else, or had she perhaps talked to her mother or sister and been told this guy is too old for you?

I just didn’t know.

But it was time to fly back to Bangkok and join up with her.

She still sent me counting the Day emojis and stickers saying she missed me.

Araya lived in a nurse’s dormitory.

She sent me a photo of the wooden screen doors to the outside.

It was always hot in the dorm, no air conditioning.

Several weeks ago, she told me she would buy a portable air conditioning unit by herself, but now she didn’t have the money.

She asked if I would buy it for her.

At first, I didn’t answer, but a few days before my flight back to Thailand, I agreed to buy it for her.

When I got there, Araya was over the moon happy.

Back In Bangkok Spoiling My Girl

Back in Bangkok now, the plan was to go cosmetic shopping, meet the tutor, get oil massages at Health Land in Asok.

I had been there myself on my first trip and asked if she’d like to go, 1,500 Baht each for two hours.

Then we’d go to dinner at the Brazilian steakhouse El Toro, all within the Terminal 21 Asok area.

We met up at the cosmetic shop, and she gave me a little kiss on the cheek.

Everything was going great.

I understood that I’d be buying her some cosmetics, and from my reading, that was expected in Thai culture.

After making some selections, she introduced me to a sales attendant and said if I signed up for their mailing list, we could get 15% off.

She was already on the mailing list, so I had to sign up.

And since I was paying, 15% sounded good.

The agent had me fill out the information on the store’s iPad, and everything was going fine until it asked me for my birthday.

Was She Trying Her Luck Getting Cash From Me?

I tried not putting it in, but the agent said I forgot to input the year I was born.

I freaked out because up until now, I told Araya I was 50 when in reality I’m 55.

I tried inputting a year that coincided with 50 years old, but the app used a weird Thai number, and the attendant put in 1996.

That would make me 57 years old.

I told her that was wrong, but she said it doesn’t matter for the discount.

Of course, the attendant and I will speak in English, which Araya didn’t understand, but had she seen the 1966 date, who knows?

We brought for a quick lunch.

She spent a little time on her phone, took pictures of her food, and drank.

We chatted a little bit before we were in public using Google Translate.

Before meeting up that day, she explained that the tutor could not make it, and we would have to reschedule.

I said we could do it when we got back from Phuket.

In the back of my head, I wondered if the tutor ever really existed or if it was an attempt to extract cash from me.

We had our messages both relaxed.

We then made our way to the restaurant, and at dinner, she used her phone to take pictures of the food.

The restaurant was noisy, and we didn’t talk much.

We had missed each other for three months, but now that I was back, she didn’t talk to me much at all.

She Is Constantly On Her Phone More Than Talking To Me

Afterwards, I shared a taxi.

She dropped off first at the hospital where she dorms, and I had gotten a hotel nearby.

The next morning, we met at the airport.

I was half expecting her to cancel and not get on the aircraft.

We had coffee at the airport, and I’m starting to notice a change in her.

She said she was tired from working all week, but she was on the phone constantly.

She didn’t talk to me and barely smiled.

Something could be wrong, or maybe she was just tired.

I figured I’d go with the flow and not raise any concerns for fear of it just being in my head.

It was 19 minutes to Phuket, and on a noisy aircraft, I tried to nap a bit.

She stayed out the window mostly, understandable since she’d never flown before, so I didn’t feel a need to make anything of her not talking to me on the plane.

But during the hour taxi ride to the resort, Araya was again constantly on her phone.

I tried talking to her, but she wasn’t responding.

I played some music on my own iPhone, and she liked that.

When I asked if this was okay, she kind of blew me off.

When we didn’t talk at all for the rest of the taxi ride, I’m thinking some questions about our trip, what excursions we do, or where we would eat something at the resort.

We had to wait until check-in time.

Her Loving Mood Has Completely Changed And Now She Is Giving Me The Hard Shoulder

She made a point to make sure we got two beds.

We had lunch at the resort restaurant, and she was again on her phone.

Now, she did show me her Facetime with her sister.

She also did take some video of the view, but when I suggested going up to the roof of the restaurant for a better view, she blew me off.

We finally checked into the room.

I unpacked and started ironing my clothes.

She brought two carry-on-sized bags, took out her cosmetics, but she didn’t unpack her clothes.

Still not talking to me, she decided to take a nap and said I should take a walk.

Now, as I type this out, I’m wondering for the first time if she wanted me out so that she could call somebody.

I continued to iron my clothes and did not leave.

Then, a short while later, she got up and wanted to go to 7-Eleven.

I said there was one just down the street, and I could go with her.

She wanted to go alone.

She came back with some stuff and walked right past me to the balcony.

What the hell is going on here? She’s completely different from the person I chatted with three months ago.

Now The Arguments Start

I tried talking to her on the balcony, and then we started getting into little arguments about using the Translate app.

Up until now, I thought she didn’t know any English, but she was reading the English translation on the app back to me.

Now, I understand one can read a language without knowing the meaning, but until now, I didn’t know she could read the language.

It seemed to irritate her that I saw she was pronounced in the English translations.

This went on for a couple of hours, her ignoring me, then getting irritated when I tried communicating with her.

At one point, she was just sitting there watching Instagram videos.

She snapped at me when I asked what she was doing.

We went to dinner across the street, and again, constantly on her phone.

She seemed to be trying to salvage a trip for herself, but I couldn’t take much more.

Back at the hotel room, we were both pretty tired.

She went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

I did the same and climbed into my bed.

When she came out, she exclaimed, “Why are you not wearing a shirt in bed?”

I had pulled my covers up to my chest, but yeah, I don’t sleep with a shirt on.

I tried to convey my discomfort with wearing a shirt in bed, but she said I had to wear one or she would sleep on the couch.

Where was the girl that called me her boyfriend, the girl that missed me so much?

I eventually agreed to wearing a shirt, but it was too late by then.

She’d been on the phone to her sister.

When she came back into the bedroom, she was obviously not staying the week.

I asked if she was leaving, and she said yes, tomorrow.

My sister bought me a ticket.

I didn’t sleep a wink that night.

She Left Me and Blocked Me

I read that I shouldn’t beg, and I really didn’t think this was my fault, but if I had done something wrong, I thought, what the heck.

So, I apologized for the night before and asked her to stay.

It didn’t work.

She got up and told me I should stay in the room and sleep.

She quietly packed.

She never caused a scene about leaving, but in the end, she did leave.

She blocked me online and never responded to my text message.

I only sent one text to her phone and one message online.

I had traveled back to Bangkok the same day as she did.

The next day, I had gone to see the reclining Buddha, met a translator guide.

She listened to my story and thought somehow things might be salvaged.

I have come up with a list of seven or eight different things that could have caused the reversal in treatment from her.

I still don’t know what caused the change of heart.

Did she think I was 57, and I lied to her?

True, the 1966 birthday was an accident, but while wrong, I really was 55 and not 50.

So, if it was that, I had only myself to blame.

Actually met someone else?

Had her mother or sister told her I was too old for her?

If so, I really couldn’t be upset because I’m too old for her.

Was it that I asked about if she wanted one or two beds three weeks before our trip?

Did she think that I was thinking about bedroom fun?

Or had she seen me in the light of day and realized how old I really look?

Also, at night, it’s harder to notice other people’s reactions to a 30-year-old dating a 55-year-old, but in the daylight, had she seen people look at her with an unapproving look?

Or was she scamming me the whole time?

So Was It Worth It?

I could accept any one of these possibilities.

What I don’t want to hear is that it was all in my head and my impatience caused the fallout where there really wasn’t anything wrong.

She was just tired and needed a good night’s sleep.

It’s been two months.

She hasn’t gone back to Thai Friendly. Not that I’m obsessing, but I’ve used another account to check and see if she started using her account again or made a new one.

No activity.

I don’t know if not knowing what really happened is the worst or not having a beautiful girl message me each day is, but I’m moving on.