How I Became Addicted To Thai Bar Girls

Is dating or being in a relationship with a bargirl in Thailand as bad as it’s made out to be?

In my experience, I have dated a lot during my trips to Thailand, but I always seem to keep going back to Bargirls.

I will start this email with a short background about me so you can paint the picture.

I am a 35-year-old male from Australia.

I am divorced from what I would describe as an evil wife.

Like most marriages, we married young, it starts off good, totally in love, but sooner or later constant demands came from my wife.

Marriage Pressure

Bigger house, more holidays, brand new cars.

The demands would never stop and she was never happy.

I notice that for some reason, a lot of these stories about guys going to Thailand begin with going through a divorce.

My Life Before My Bargirl Addiction

I guess Thailand is the place for divorced men to recover? I don’t know.

The only thing I don’t regret from my marriage is that we had 2 beautiful kids together that I would do anything for.

Though, she didn’t make it easy for me to be in their life, I had to fight really hard to be allowed time with them, that part of the divorce was probably the hardest.

It’s pretty much a common story nowadays that many guys go through, so I won’t bore you with all the details, let’s just say she made my life very difficult at the time.

My Life After Divorce

My life became the boring normal lifestyle, I would work all weekend then have my kids for most weekends.

I am not much of a party animal so I do not really go out drinking much, but when I do, I enjoy the company of females rather than talking rubbish and getting drunk with the boys.

I have had a couple of flings after my divorce but nothing serious, most women I met realised they weren’t getting any younger and wanted to get married and have kids in a hurry, and the more attractive younger ones always seem to have some issue going on in their life.

I decided I did not want anything serious, as it was hard to find a half decent woman to have quality time with that did not bring any drama, kids or problems to the table.

So playing the field I thought would be my best option as I wasn’t looking to be a step dad nor have a step mum for my kids.

Now that is the background about me finished with me, let’s dive into my Thailand story.

Taking My First Trip To Thailand

After talking to my lifelong best friend from school about a trip to Thailand over the years, last year we finally did it.

We had always wanted to travel around South East Asia when we were younger, but as you know, life takes over and plans get delayed or completely forgotten about.

In my 30’s now, and a lot more responsibilities, I think I am a bit too old to go backpacking around the world now.

Though the thought of visiting Thailand one day was always in the back of mind, it’s not exactly somewhere I wanted to vacation with my wife.

Planning the First Thailand Trip

So now was a perfect time for me and my friend to head to Thailand.

We did not exactly know much about Thailand other than the beaches, the shopping and most importantly the cheap nightlife and meeting ladies.

Of course, let’s state the obvious, the cheap nightlife is what interested us the most.

Discovering Thai Ladies

As we were both single now, the Thai ladies became a big interest to us.

We had a friend who was married to a Thai girl in Australia, and he tried to give us some advice as well as some warnings.

Telling us about the scams that go on if we rent bikes, go on jet skis and added drinks to our bills.

He also told us not to trust people so easy, especially bargirls, their one and only job is to extract as much money from you as possible while providing you with a good time.

Everything he shared with us was valuable information, but we were still going to be very cautious and keep our eyes wide open.

We found a package online that was fairly cheap and looked like something we were after, it was 2 nights in Bangkok and then 8 nights in Phuket.

Warnings About Bargirls

Perfect.

I couldn’t wait to finally get on the plane and head to Thailand, I really needed a break from reality and experience something different.

Finally Heading To Bangkok and Phuket

At the time, the only thing I was looking forward to in my life was seeing my kids at the weekend, they were keeping me sane.

Anyway, the time came for me and my friend to head to the airport, have a couple of beers and then jump onto the plane, we were finally on our way.

As soon as I stepped off the plane onto the tarmac, I felt alive again, even if just for a short period of time all my problems are left at home.

We got out the airport, jumped in an overpriced taxi, yes this was our first newbie mistake, and made our way to the airport.

Once we checked into the hotel and got in our rooms, it wasn’t long until we were showered, dressed and ready to hit the streets.

We had read online mixed reviews about a place called Patong, but we thought what the hell, we might as well check it out.

The First Night in Thailand

This is where we fell for the first thing that our friend had warned us about.

we were enticed to go into a dodgy pingpong show, where we ended up getting way overcharged for the show and the drinks.

I can’t remember the exact price, but it was like 900 baht for a San Mig and then the show price, which I think they just added onto the bill.

Maybe I am wrong and this is the normal price for a show and a drink, but it felt like we were being overcharged

Rookie mistake, I know, but the night was young and not ruined, next we headed to Soi Cowboy.

Experiencing Soi Cowboy For The First Time Is Unreal

Soi Cowboy was fun, and the girls are extremely flirtatious there.

Every single bar we went into on Cowboy, we had female company instantly join us chatting away to us.

And the clothing they wear, is out of this world, enough to drive any man crazy.

We did not barfine anyone, but there was a lot of lady drinks, flirting and kissing.

It was our first night, so we were millionaires.

We ended up staying on Soi Cowboy for the rest of the night, trying to hit as many bars as possible before we called it a night and went back to the hotel.

Discovering Nana Plaza

I can remember lying in bed in my drunken state thinking how I’ve never been here before, it’s like heaven on earth.

The second night is where the magic happened, we went to Nana Plaza and was totally blown away by the place.

The Buzz of Soi Cowboy

The second you walk through security, the buzz hits you like a ton of bricks.

there are beautiful girls and go go bars everywhere. Spoilt for choice is an understatement.

The feeling you get when you first get to Nana Plaza and step foot inside your first ever go go bar, it’s amazing.

I remember it like it was yesterday walking into the first go go bar, so many stunning girls all over, me and my friend looked like deer in the headlights.

There was not many customers at the time, so all eyes was on us, we made our way to the table and sat down.

Scouting around at all the ladies on the stage while receiving smiles and waves back at us.

A Night in Nana Plaza

The waitress came over and asked what we would like to drink, before I ordered a drink I wanted to make sure of something.

So I asked the waitress “Do these girls actually come home with customers?”

She replied “Of course they do, this is a go go bar, which one do you like I will get her to come and sit with you”

I smiled and said “Sure, let me take a look”

Realising Too Late That We Had Entered A Ladyboy Go Go Bar

I went back looking around and noticed that a lot of them were quite tall, taller than the other girls I had met the night before.

Looking a bit closer at these beautiful girls, me and my friend quickly realised that these was not beautiful girls, they were beautiful ladyboys.

I don’t judge, but me and my friend are not into that type of thing, and although they were stunning, in fact, more stunning than some of the real females there, we politely told the waitress we are in the wrong bar and walked out.

That’s for sure a fun memory that will stay with me forever.

Moving Around Nana Plaza

We headed to the second floor of Nana Plaza and moved onto one of the other many go go bars.

This bar had a mix of girls, some absolute stunning ones, some not so stunning ones, skinny young ones and chubby older ones.

Luckily, this time they all looked like females, so no embarrassing moments so far.

We sat at a table that was directly next to the stage so we could watch the shows, ordered a drink and went back to scouting the room.

Meeting My First Bargirl

It was in this bar that I would meet the first bargirl that I would actually spend the night with.

Make no mistake, she was not the most attractive girl I had seen that night, but she spoke very good English, and I thought communication would be better than having a super stunning girl that can’t speak a word of English.

Plus, I found this girl very sweet, she had a good vibe and we got along pretty good.

My girl joined us at the table with her friend, her friend was not much to look at, in fact she was probably the least attractive in there.

My girl sat with me and I ordered her a drink, her friend sat next to my friend and started flirting with him.

I could tell my friend was not into this girl, she wasn’t his type, but he has a big heart so he ordered her a drink as well.

Choosing a Bargirl

After a couple of lady drinks, I asked if I could barfine my girl.

She replied “Yes its 1,500”

Again, I don’t know if this was overcharged because I learnt later that in some bars it’s as little as 500 baht to barfine a bargirl.

I’m not sure if I was charged this much because it’s a go go bar in Nana Plaza or she was just pulling one over on me.

My First Barfine For A Thai Bar Girl

Either way, I paid the bar fine, we all drank up and headed out of the plaza

My friend being the star of a wingman that he is, barfined her friend and we all went back to the hotel.

On the way back to the hotel, it was like we were teenagers again, walking and laughing like we had just finished school.

We stumbled into a 7/11 and the girls got us some Thai snacks to try and then we made our way into the hotel.

My friend had obviously changed his mind about his girl because he was snogging her face off in the elevator.

Me and my girl said our goodbyes to them and then we headed for our room.

Back at the Hotel

Even after we finished, we did not go straight to sleep, we stayed up for a couple more hours, telling each other about our lives.

Catching Feelings For A Nana Plaza Bar Girl

This was yet another newbie mistake I made, because the more I spoke to her the more I was feeling a connection with her.

It turned out that, That was far the one of the best nights of my life, other than my kids being born.

The morning after I woke up first, took a shower and when I came back out I was watching her sleep for a few seconds.

I was thinking how lucky I was to have this girl in my bed, I gave my head a shake and snapped out of it, I refuse to catch feelings for the first bar girl I have been with.

She woke up soon after and the conversation soon came up about me coming to see her again tonight.

I explained that we were only in Bangkok for the night and heading to Phuket today.

The Morning After

I did say that if I knew I was going to meet her then I would never have planned to go to Phuket.

She seemed sad that I was leaving, or she was just putting on an act, but said she understood that I wanted to be a butterfly.

At the time, I did not know what butterfly meant, but later found out through many, many girls calling it me.

Rookie Mistake Falling for a Bargirl

Rookie Mistake. Falling For A Bargirl

Anyway, we said our goodbyes to the two girls and me and my friend made our way to the airport

On the flight to Phuket, is where another one of the many rookie mistakes happened, and one thing that I was warned about over and over again.

While on the plane, I couldn’t help thinking about the go go girl, I don’t know if it’s because this was my first girl or what, but I think I already had feelings for her.

Trying to Enjoy Phuket

I did try to put her to the back of my mind and forget about it so we could enjoy our time in Phuket.

I still had a fantastic 8 nights in Phuket, I did love every minute of the trip, but my mind was always on my Bangkok Go Go beauty, I just couldn’t shake her.

I even contemplated going back to Bangkok to see her, and I think if I was on a solo vacation, that’s exactly what I would have done.

On returning home, and chatting with a Thailand veteran, I realised that many people like me catch feelingss for their first bar girl because it’s a completely new experience.

The Way Thai Bar Girls Make You Feel Is Like No Other

They make you feel like you are loved and they have feelings for you, but he soon put me back in the state of knowing that this is just business for her.

It’s for the best, my Bangkok beauty probably already had multiple farang boyfriends, she had very good English which she more than likely learnt by chatting with many customers.

She said she did not have a phone or anyway to contact her, and she told me she had a child so also probably had a Thai boyfriend or husband in the village.

Despite this, I still had a fantastic time and I’m happy she was my first bar girl, it was truly amazing, and would only be a matter of time before I return.

Hearing some of the stories, I was mortified at the outcome of them, it did not put me off but showed me I should probably be more careful with my feelings.

Flying Back To Thailand, Solo

Sooner or later I was back in Thailand, and landed in Bangkok.

On my first night there, I completely ignored everything I was told, and went straight to the same go go bar to see if I could see my first bar girl.

I could not see her in the bar so I asked the Mamasan about her, and she told me that my girl had moved back up north.

I did not bother to ask why, with the very little experience I have with bar girls, I learnt to ask no questions, get no lies.

And that was the end of my first go go girl, but not my last.

I was happy for her, I think deep down it would have been more sad if I had come back to the bar and she was still doing this type of work.

Finding More Thai Girls

If she was there, maybe I would have acted on my feelings and got too deeply involved with her, maybe I dodged a bullet with her not being there, either way, the memory of her stays.

Later I went on to meet another Thai girl, yes a bargirl in a bar in Bangkok.

Spending time with her was also amazing, she showed me the non-tourist places of Bangkok that I would never have thought about visiting.

She showed me a lot of the culture and food, introduced me to people, and basically just looked after me.

She even took me to meet some of her family, it was what they call the holiday girlfriend experience.

We got very close but it stayed pretty much as an open friendship rather than a relationship.

The Holiday Girlfriend Experience

When it was time to leave, we both promised that we would not forget each other, and exchanged Facebooks to keep in touch.

She said that she will keep working in the bar but would not go with customers, I knew better and wasn’t stupid.

Keeping In Contact With Bargirls Is Another Mistake

Once I got home and added her on Facebook, I guess she forgot that she had pictures with her Thai boyfriend on there.

But like I said, it was an open relationship type of thing so I wasn’t bothered, there were no lies or scamming and life went on.

On my 3rd trip, we met up again and went for a drink.

But knowing that she was already involved with a Thai boyfriend, I decided I did not want to be a home wrecker.

Although her boyfriend probably knows what she does and does not mind as long as she is bringing in the money, I just couldn’t see myself doing it, so like bargirls, I kept my options open.

A Trip Through Bangkok Bars

That trip I just spent going to different bars, meeting different girls and having fun.

I did not exchange contacts with anyone on this trip and went home with nothing to worry about.

My Latest Trip To Thailand

On my last trip to Thailand, I wanted to do something different and meet a girl that is not involved with the nightlife work.

So I created a profile on ThaiFriendly, and after weeding through the millions of freelancers on there, I set up a date with an attractive office girl.

And yes, it was as boring as it sounds.

Nothing to report from that date, there was no connection, no vibe and I couldn’t wait to get myself back in a bar.

I finished that Thailand trip with going to as many bars as possible

So Far I Have Not Been Scammed Too Bad By A Thai Bargirl

So, with a few trips to Thailand under my belt and a lot of time spent in the bars and with a different bunch of girls, I have never really been burnt bad or experienced the type of things some of these guys share in their story.

I am still waiting for the sick buffalo story, or their child has been in an accident and needs money for medical bills.

I did have one request for medical bills, it wasn’t a child in hospital, it was something else but the story was so unbelievable, nobody would have fell for it.

I think the worst thing that I have experienced with a bargirl is that 500baht went missing from the hotel room out of my pile of cash.

It was my fault because I left it on the side, but the funny thing is there was a few thousand baht there and she only took 500.

Maybe she only took that thinking I wouldn’t notice, but I did, and even though it was a small amount it’s the principle, I did not go to see her again.

Some Bargirls Are Bad, Not All, But Some

I am not saying that there are no bad bar girls out there, for sure there is, I have met a bunch of them and you can pretty much tell straight away what they are up to.

But you can normally figure this out while you are still in the bar without barfining them.

Them constantly asking you for drinks even though they are not trying to have a conversation with you.

Asking you to barfine them and go to their friends bar.

Don’t be fooled, if you do do this, you will still be paying for lady drinks at the friends bar.

Genuine and Loving Thai Bar Girls Do Actually Exist

If I barfine them and find out later that they are up to no good, that’s ok, I just don’t go back to that bar again, there are plenty of bars and even more girls out there.

Sweet and Genuine Bargirls

On the flip side to that, I’ve also met sweet genuine bargirls that wouldn’t deliberately hurt anyone.

These girls are waiting and hoping that a foreigner will come along, sweep them off their feet and give them a better life.

I have been tempted to actually start something serious with a bargirl before and try and give her a better life, but at that time, I enjoyed being a butterfly and having fun too much to actually commit to anything.

You also have to remember that some of the girls have no choice but to do this work, it’s a better paying job than most jobs in Thailand, and the majority of them are sending the money back to their family in remote parts of Thailand.

I think my problem is, I like the girlfriend experience too much, or I’m just addicted to bar girls.

The Girlfriend Experience

I enjoy spending time with them, even if it’s a paid companion, they still make you feel good about yourself and that they are only with you.

I like to find a decent girl and spend the week like she is my girlfriend.

The only time that I spend time is to see if I like them enough to spend a week together and if we get along good.

I Much Prefer Holiday Girlfriends

During these long-time girlfriend-experience flings, I admit that I have spent money on them and spoiled them a bit, but that’s down to me wanting to.

I haven’t paid for anything overly expensive, just dresses, handbags, salon days and a cheap iPhone for one of the girls that I really did like.

That does not include the hotels, condos, transport, meals and days out, obviously I pay for all of that.

I think the most expensive thing I have ever paid for, for one of the bar girls that I really liked, was 10,000 baht towards a payment on her car.

We used the car quite a lot so I thought it would have been a nice gesture to help out financially with a little bit extra.

She even offered to pay me back at some point, knowing that she would never pay me back, I told her it was fine.

Advice About Holiday Girlfriends

So here is my opinion about dating bar girls, and maybe some advice to those that are on the fence about dating a bar girl.

There are tons and tons of negative stories online about the difficulties of being involved with working girls, compared to the number of successful relationship stories.

I think this is because most men that are happy with their farang/bargirl situation do not have the time or the motivation to write it down on paper and send it out.

They have more important things to do, like spend time with their girlfriend, planning the future and whatnot.

My Overall Experience With Bargirls Is That It Is Addictive

My Overall Experience With Bargirls, Is That It Is Addictive

For example, I’ve been thinking about writing my story and experience for the last couple of months, I just never got around to doing it.

Though I think I would have got it done a lot quicker if I was at home feeling sorry for myself, heartbroken that a bargirl has cleaned me out.

There is also the worry of the comments they will get from putting their story out from other expats and travellers alike.

You’ve all seen them, old grumpy expats in the comments, they’ve been to Thailand one or two times and think they are experts on the place.

Advice About Older Expats

My advice is to ignore these old expats, especially the ones from Pattaya.

And then you have the pretty boys that try to talk down to you “My Thai girlfriend has never asked me for money”

Yeah, you are probably right, because she gets it from her other 3 boyfriends.

I will continue to use dating sites when I go to Thailand to meet women from all different walks of life, because I like that and also want to try new things.

Though if I date other girls, I think I’ll always be wondering about all the mischief and fun I could be getting up to in Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy.

I don’t think I will ever get married again, but after my, I am open to having something serious with someone.

Looking for a Serious Relationship

She will probably be Thai and probably a current or ex bargirl, and that, I have no problem with at all.

I love bar girls, I love the experience, I love how if there is no connection you can simply move on with no hard feelings, I love the attention and love how they make me feel.

I think I’m just addicted to the whole experience.

So I would love to know what you guys think about dating a bargirl from Thailand, is it something you could do and live with?

For me, I love bargirls and I 100% could be in a relationship with one, and probably will be in the future.