Things Bar Girls Say to Make You Feel Special (They Tell Everyone)

You know what’s funny about the bar scene in Thailand? Every guy thinks he’s hearing something special.

You sit down, order a drink, and within five minutes you have a bar girl coming up to you, saying things to try and make you feel like the only man in the world. Most of those lines you hear from these girls are part of the job. They’re not random, and they’ve been said a million times before to keep guys spending, helping, or falling headfirst into something they don’t really understand.

I’ve heard these lines a hundred times, and trust me, so has every other foreigner who’s been around here long enough.

When you come to Thailand for the first time and hear some of the stuff that bar girls come out with, it does make you feel good. But once you’ve heard a few of the same lines from different girls, you start getting the picture. So let’s take a walk around Bangkok, while I go through some of the most common things Thai bar girls say to make farangs feel special.

Not to judge anyone, not to look down on them just to show how things really work out there, and mainly so the newbies know what to expect. Because once you’ve heard it all before, it’s a lot easier to know when it’s real and when it’s just business.

So let’s start with the most common one, one that you will hear anywhere in Thailand.

“You are a handsome man!”: The Classic Bar Entrance Line

This one is the main one and one you have probably heard a million times if you have been to Pattaya, Bangkok, or any tourist zones with a nightlife.

No matter who you are, no matter what age you are, where you’re from, or even what you look like, the girls outside the bars will call you “handsome man” to try and get you in.

Although it’s nice to hear a girl call you handsome, please don’t let it go to your head. It’s their job to make you feel good, and they’re just having a bit of fun by calling you this.

Mostly this will happen while you are walking through the streets of Pattaya, for example. You walk past a bar and there’s a bunch of girls outside.

They will call you “handsome man” and grab you or hope that you come over. Their aim is to get you into the bar.

Even though it’s a bit of light-hearted fun on their end, don’t take it like she really means it.

You could walk in sunburnt, sweating, and wearing a Chang vest for three days straight she’ll still call you handsome. It makes you feel good and opens your wallet a little easier.

It’s all part of the game. It doesn’t matter what shape you’re in, they know the word “handsome” gets a reaction. It’s bait, and most guys that don’t know any better will bite without even thinking.

Just smile and say something like, “I know I am.” That will make them laugh too.

“Today first day in bar.”: The Never-Ending First Day Story

That one’s always funny because somehow, it’s always her first day. You could see her last week and she’ll still say it again.

Honestly, if you’ve never been to Thailand before and are planning to go soon, I guarantee you will hear this from some girl on your first night out.

Just test it when you walk into a bar and a girl starts talking to you, ask her how long she has been working there.

Either she’s only been there a couple of weeks, or you’re the lucky guy that has found her on her first day. Spoiler: it’s not her first day.

She knows guys like the idea of being the first one, helping her out when she’s still “new.” It makes things feel a bit more genuine and less like business.

It plays on that little hero feeling some guys get like they’re the first one showing her how it all works, even though it’s the same story she’s told a hundred times.

She wants you to believe that she is new because then you’ll think she hasn’t met other farangs before or that you’ll be her first.

If you’re lucky enough, she might even throw in a little sob story about how she’s just arrived from Isan and is only working there to provide for her family back home.

She’ll say it all sweet and innocent, maybe with a shy smile, and you’ll buy her a drink just to make her feel comfortable. That’s the move.

By the time you figure out she’s been there for months or even years, you’ve already spent enough to cover her rent for the week.

And when you leave next week to go home and a new customer goes to her bar, guess what she’s going to tell them?

That’s right, it’s her first night at the bar.

“I don’t usually go with customer.”: The Exception That Isn’t

This one is one of the oldest lines in the book and it’s a funny one as well.

When a girl in a bar says she doesn’t normally go with customers, I can guarantee you she goes with every customer she can.

It’s just part of the act. Makes her look like she’s not really into that kind of thing, even though she does it every night.

They only say this to try and look respectable when you’re talking to them, or to make you think you’ve found one that’s different from the rest.

It makes it sound like you’re special enough to break her rule. They’re good at making it sound believable too: a little hesitation, a little nervous laugh like she’s making an exception for you.

It’s meant to give the whole thing a bit of romance, like she’s doing this just for you because she likes you or whatever.

The second you agree to pay the bar fine, she knows her little act worked and you’re hooked, thinking you’re different from the rest.

When a girl has decided that you are the type of farang that may fall for the long game, she is going to use lines like this, so be on your guard.

“I only in Pattaya one week.”: The Urgency Line

They will say this wherever you meet them, but I’ll use Pattaya as an example here.

When she says, “I only in Pattaya one week,” that’s usually to create a bit of urgency for you to make your move.

It makes you think you’ve only got a small window before she disappears. Guys hear that and start moving faster: buy more drinks, spend more time, maybe even take her out before she apparently “leaves.”

Most of the time, that “one week” lasts a lot longer. You’ll see her next month in the same bar, same smile, using the same line on other customers.

But it works because it taps into that holiday mindset you’re both just passing through, so who cares what happens. It makes it easier for her to get close fast without questions, and easier for you to not think too much about what’s real and what’s just business.

It keeps things steady. No need for backstories or big conversations, just drinks, laughs, and a few good nights. That’s all most tourists are after anyway, and she knows it.

It’s also a way to dodge too much personal talk. If you think she’s leaving soon, you don’t ask where she lives, who she stays with, or what she’s really doing here.

It keeps everything plain and simple but still exciting. She can stay in control, get what she needs, and move on to the next round without any messy strings.

And even when you catch her saying the same line again a few weeks later, it doesn’t really matter. Most guys don’t call it out.

Everyone’s playing along: she’s selling the fantasy, and you’re buying the moment. That “only one week” line just makes it easier for both sides to enjoy it without pretending it’s more than what it is.

To be honest, this line isn’t that bad. Yeah, they’re playing you, but at least they aren’t trying to suck you into something that isn’t real, and trust me, a lot of guys go to Thailand thinking the fantasy is real.

“I don’t like Thai men.”: The Farang Compliment

So you go into a bar, get a drink, and a girl comes over to talk with you. You enjoy her company, so you’ve caved in and got her a lady drink.

The night carries on with talking, flirting, and a lot of drinking. While you’re talking, she no doubt tells you a bit about her life, maybe throws a sob story or two into the mix.

You learn that she has children with a Thai man, but now she doesn’t like Thais and would never be with one again.

She’ll say it like she’s done with all that drama, trying to sound fed up with Thai guys. Makes you feel like you’ve walked in at the right time.

She’s only interested in farangs now, she finds them more attractive than anyone else, and hopes to meet a good one one day.

Just so happens she sat next to you at the time of saying this, and what do you know you happen to be a farang.

When a girl tells you this, please take it with a grain of salt. She’s only saying this because you are a farang and she wants you to think she really does find you attractive and likes you.

There’s a big chance that she does have a Thai boyfriend or husband, and that commission she’s getting from the lady drinks you bought her well, he’s going to get some of it too. And that goes for any other money you decide to spend on her.

He normally knows about what she does for a living, but he couldn’t care less because the money she makes will be going straight to him.

So when they say they don’t like Thais, they only like farang smile and nod. Through one ear and out the other.

“I want to stop working bar for you.”: The Promise to Leave the Bar

Another classic, said by many and believed by just as many.

Yes, farangs, expats, tourists, and even long term veterans are falling for this line every day, even though it’s super common and the warnings are everywhere.

This line normally happens after she has somehow convinced you that she is different, you are different, and you’ve fallen for every trick in the book.

Let’s say you’ve met her in the bar and you’ve gone back a few times now for no other reason than just to see her.

Each time you go back you get closer and closer to her, while the lady drinks and the money is flowing of course.

By this point, you’ve probably stopped talking to other girls and just stick with her. You start thinking this might actually be real, but what’s really happening is she’s building trust so the next steps are easier for her.

If she thinks she has hooked you in and knows that you are planning to leave soon, then there’s a big chance she will drop this line on you.

She will say she wants to stop working at the bar because she wants to have a relationship with you, and if you believe that then you’re going to be on the path to losing money.

You’ll end up giving her money thinking that she has left the bar and is working a different job when, in reality, she never left: she just kept it secret from you.

That’s the hook that turns short-time fun into long-term trouble. It makes you feel like you’re saving her from the bar and have a real shot at being together in the future.

She paints this picture of leaving the bar, staying home, cooking, working a normal job while waiting for you. Sounds sweet, doesn’t it?

You start to think about renting her a place, sending her a bit each month, helping her get started.

Little do these guys know that girls like that are only trying to rack up as many sponsors as possible so they’re being sent money every week by a different guy.

By the time you realize she’s still working on the side, you’ve already built her a little safety net.

I know what you’re thinking: nobody is that stupid to fall for this. But like everything in Thailand, you’d be surprised.

“I wait for you every night.”: The Guilt Trip

If you end up meeting a girl and give her your contact details, you need to know that you will be spammed to death with sweet messages like this.

That one gets said to make you feel like she’s loyal, like she’s sitting there hoping you’ll walk in.

She makes it sound like she’s just sitting there bored, skipping customers, saving that smile just for you.

She knows if she makes you feel like she’s waiting, you’ll turn up just to keep her happy and spend more while you’re there.

She’ll say this if you tell her you can’t make it to her bar tonight or that you have plans to go somewhere else. It’s said to make you feel guilty for not showing up.

Don’t be fooled though. There’s a 99.99% chance that she’s not ignoring customers waiting for you. She’s working every night, same as before you met her. But that sentence plants the idea that there’s something more than business.

Once you believe it, you’ll start planning your nights around her schedule instead of yours.

All she wants is for you to go to her bar so you can spend money in there and on her. She doesn’t miss you, she misses your money.

“I want introduce you to my family someday.”: The Family Introduction

When she says, “I want introduce you to my family someday,” that’s one of those lines meant to make you think she’s serious about you.

It sounds genuine, like you’ve made it past the bar and into her real life. For a lot of guys, that’s the dream to feel like you’re more than just a customer.

And yes, a lot of guys come to Thailand to try and find something serious and end up looking for that inside of a bar.

If the farang is from the West, then it’s normally a big deal being introduced to a girl’s family, but in Thailand, it’s really not a big deal.

In fact, the girl that wants to introduce you to her family has probably already taken ten other farangs previously to meet them, each of them falling for the trap and ultimately parting with money.

Not knowing this about meeting a Thai girl’s family, it’s easy to start seeing her as a girlfriend instead of someone working a job.

Don’t get me wrong in Thai culture, family is everything. So when she says that, it feels like a big deal. You start thinking maybe she really means it, maybe you’re different from the other guys.

But even though it’s big in Thai culture, that doesn’t mean her family isn’t in on rinsing you along with their precious daughter.

Once you meet the family and believe that connection is real, you’ll start helping more, sending money, or making plans to see her again. That’s how the bond and the income keep going.

And don’t think this heavy line comes months down the line of seeing this girl. She could bring it up within the first week of meeting her.

I mean, some girls are genuine, I don’t want to paint everyone with the same brush. But if she wants you to meet her parents after just one week together, how many other men do you think she’s asked or even taken to meet them?

A bit of common sense goes a long way with this one.

(DONE)