The Perfect Thai Wife Who Played the Long Game

Marriage, Immigration, and a Child Custody Battle in England

I have a story just to show it’s not just the bar girls who can be ruthless. I came to work in Thailand a few years ago. I was never into the bar scene but did have lots of fun in the clubs of Bangkok and Pattaya. I had some friends in Bangkok and are still close buddies to this day. We always watched each other’s backs during various escapades. Friendship was more important than any Thai girl.

I was due to go to a club in Ekamai on the night of the fire on January 1, 2009 but arrived after that dreadful fire killed 61 people.

I’m open-minded about what consenting adults choose to do. I have no problem with girls that need to make money and provide for their families. It does annoy me, however, when foreigners attempt to rip them off in their own country. Show some respect to your host country and play the game for what it is.

I met a girl called Knock not her real name of course. She was shy and from a respectable Bangkok family. After a long and protracted courtship we got married. I never ever played away despite living in central Bangkok with its many distractions.

Knock came with me when my job took me away from Thailand and traveled back to the UK on many occasions as well as all over the rest of Europe. Sure enough, our daughter was born at Bumrungrad Hospital, of course. I bought an SUV, land, a house, the works. Throughout the 11 years, she played the perfect wife.

Knock was becoming more demanding about controlling money, as is normal in Thai culture, using our daughter as leverage. Anyway I love my daughter above all else so happily played along. Schooling came around and it was not part of the deal from my job so we left Thailand and went to the UK. Knock eventually arrived after a 2 year battle with UK immigration to get a very expensive spouse visa. Spouse visas are very expensive and an uphill battle when dealing with the UK Border Force. In the UK I earned £70k a year plus I had free accommodation yet immigration was still very difficult. Anyway they arrived.

Financial Control and the Fight Over Their Daughter

Knock immediately demanded control of all of our money. She also refused to get a job. I gave her use of the car which was a BMW and a well stocked bank account nothing was good enough. She refused a well paid job and she refused to try and integrate. I offered her flights to go see her relatives who live in Europe no no and no.

Eventually she left to go back to Thailand a low blow considering our daughter was in hospital with a problem which would require four operations. She told our daughter she was going on a vacation. After 6 months she returned to the UK seeking a fresh start but soon returned to her own ways of demanding money and weaponizing our daughter.

One evening I returned to find her and our daughter had gone. After a frantic night with a police search they were found. Next I got notice that she and our daughter were in a shelter and I was accused of abuse. After battles to prove my innocence in court and fight it with Social Services I was granted joint custody. They had moved to a separate city pulling my daughter from her established school.

Despite the pack of lies she told against me apparently if abuse is claimed indefinite leave to remain is granted despite arriving on a spouse visa only 3 months before. My daughter is now settled in a school that I fought tooth and nail to get her into and she’s thriving now. My Thai ex wife has another baby with another guy it strengthens her case to stay in the UK. I don’t know who the father is.

I look after my daughter financially and see her when I can. I pay for her schooling, trips, and clubs. I got rapidly disillusioned with the UK, a septic Brexit, and economic crises so I decided to work overseas again once my daughter was settled. I have paid for all of them to have a vacation to Thailand which the children loved but my ex wife was as grumpy as ever.

I’m now back working in Thailand. I call my daughter each day and I’m looking forward to her returning to Thailand for vacations in her school holidays. She is my number one. My ex wife is nothing to me. My ex-wife has sold everything in Thailand: the car, the house, and all my belongings.

How the Visa and Child-Custody Systems Were Used Against Him

The moral is that it’s far from just bar girls who are rip-off merchants. Some of them do apparently have good hearts but I’m not going down that path. My ex wife played the visa system, played the child law system and got what she wanted. You might think you’re wearing the pants but when it comes to Thai women they can be very cunning as I was to find out 11 years later.