Go Go Bars and Honest Goodbyes
A little bit about myself. My name is Mac and I’m from South Australia. My father is Chinese and my mother is Thai. They always spoke in English because neither of them spoke each other’s language. I was pretty much raised as an Australian country boy at the time 1989 there were no other Asian kids at my school.
I finished high school in South Australia but attended a university in Canberra as a young adult. That’s where I met my Thai friend Sunchai. He was from Chiang Mai and was furthering his English studies here as he wanted to speak better English. He was so happy that he met me because I was the only other Asian at the university and I was half Thai. After we got to know each other a little bit more he was so shocked at how little Thai I spoke and knew next to nothing about my culture. It worked out eventually because Sunchai’s English improved dramatically and my knowledge of Thailand also improved or so I thought.
Sunchai’s English course finished in 2002 so he went back to Thailand. He kept in touch through international phone cards back then and I made him promise that I would come to visit him in Thailand after I finished my studies.
In the blink of an eye it was 2004. I’d just graduated and off I went to meet Sunchai in Chiang Mai. Although I’m half Thai I’ve never traveled to the Land of Smiles before this will be my first trip. Sunchai came to pick me up from Chiang Mai airport. He explained some of the do’s and don’ts and told me that I won’t get away with everything as a farang would do because I look like the locals. He took me to his house where I met his mother and sister. To my surprise they both spoke pretty good English more fluently than he does. I soon learned that both were English teachers in one of the local universities.
Sunchai explained to me what our two-week program was and I was excited to get started. He said we’ll be riding motorcycles through the Mae Hong Son Loop. Sunchai being a motorcycle enthusiast had a Harley as well as a few other racing bikes and scooters for me to choose from. I chose to take a Vespa as I’m just a novice rider and Sunchai brought his Harley.
At 7:00 a.m. I woke up got ready and came downstairs to have breakfast with his mother and his sister. His mother reminded him to make merit when he got to a certain location on our trip. I didn’t really understand what she meant at the time but Sunchai said he’ll explain it later. We both headed out with our motorcycles stopping along various sites to take photos or use the restrooms.
Making Merit in Om Koi
3 hours into the trip we stop at a village called Om Koi. He said we’re spending the night in one of the guesthouses and we had to go shopping to buy various gifts like blankets books t shirts chocolates and some toys. I asked why were we buying these items and he replied “To make merit.” He said we will be making a short trip up the mountain to a poor village to donate all these items to the people living there. He explained to me about Thai traditions on merit which I sort of understood at the time. I gave him an extra 5000 baht to buy more things as I too wanted to make merit.
After we bought all the stuff a pickup truck came to pick us up to go to the mountain. I jumped on the back as I’ve never ridden on the back before because it was illegal in Australia. It wasn’t as much fun as I expected due to it being very rough terrain going up the mountain. My back and my backside were so sore from the ride that it was a huge relief to see that we had arrived at the village. Sunchai had a cheeky smirk on his face as he asked me how my backside felt from the ride up. I smiled and said it was okay.
As we arrived almost every child from the village came to greet us. I was shocked to see how small skinny and dirty all these kids were. I remember feeling so sorry for them as I looked around the village to see such poor living conditions that these people were living in. Soon after we were greeted by the village elders. Sunchai and I handed all the blankets and clothes over to them and their people. As for the toys Sunchai told the kids to line up in single file as I handed dolls to the girls cars and toy guns to the boys. I was so proud of what I had done as we brought so many smiles into these people’s lives.
The village elders told us that they will put on a feast for us tonight in the village center and they will not take no for an answer. Sunchai hesitated as he agreed and explained to me what was going on. I was full of enthusiasm as I’ve only seen these types of celebrations on TV. They roasted a pig over the hot charcoal. My mouth was watering watching the pig go around. Sunchai whispered to me and said “Look I know you’re hungry because we haven’t eaten since noon but don’t eat what they give you because your stomach won’t be able to handle the bacteria.”
Stupid old me didn’t take Sunchai’s advice as I bit into the delicious suckling pig and washed it down with some of the homemade white wine made from rice. Sunchai pretended to eat the pork throughout the night. I didn’t take much notice as I was really enjoying myself. We both got so drunk that we had to stay and sleep in one of the spare huts.
In the morning we both woke up at around 7:00 a.m. hung over and not really remembering much about the night before. As we packed our bags and came outside some of the villagers were already outside our hut to see us off. We said our goodbyes and we made our way down the mountain in the pickup truck. Sunchai told the driver to stop just outside the village as he showed me these little huts that had a hole in the middle. Under the hole there were buckets. Sunchai told me that these are the toilets that the villagers use.
The Pig and the Shrine
As the truck kept driving we drove past a pig sty. Sunchai asked me “Do you remember those buckets? That’s the reason why I didn’t want you to eat the pig last night.” He explained “They feed the pigs with the contents of the buckets.” Suddenly my stomach just turned and I threw up all over the side of the truck. I asked him why he didn’t tell me. He replied “I did you idiot. You were so drunk that you ignored me.”
We didn’t speak much as we rested in our guesthouse until the next day. The next day as we were getting ready to get to our next destination we didn’t speak about what had happened yesterday. We just acted like nothing had happened which was fine with me because I really didn’t want to be reminded about that.
We rode for about another 2 hours and we got to a beautiful village which was a tourist attraction as it had bars a bus stop many restaurants a market temples and the most beautiful rice fields you’ll ever see. As Sunchai was checking us into a guesthouse I went alone to see the scenery and took photos of the locals. We picked a local restaurant that I chose I picked it because it was clean and the waitress was so beautiful.
As we were eating Sunchai got a phone call from a distant relative nearby. He asked if we would like to come to the bar tonight as he hasn’t seen Sunchai in many years. We arrived at the bar at 8:00 p.m. We only brought the Vespa as we didn’t want to wake the locals if we were going to be late. We were treated with the nicest hospitality from his staff. For the next 5 hours we were treated like kings. We stayed until the bar shut at 2:00 a.m. I was so drunk that I couldn’t see properly. Sunchai was not too drunk so we decided to ride the Vespa back to the guesthouse which was only 10 minutes away across the rice fields.
I jumped on the back as we drove along the rice fields. Suddenly I had to pee. I told Sunchai to pull over as I couldn’t hold it anymore. Sunchai pulled over the side of the rice field and I ran straight into the field and unzipped my jeans. It was pitch black as there were no lights anywhere. Suddenly Sunchai was screaming at me but being so drunk I couldn’t make out what he was saying until I was finished.
As I walked back to the bike Sunchai continued screaming at me. I asked him why he was so angry what was he angry about? He replied “You idiot! All of the places you could have taken a leak why did you have to do it on the small wooden shrine?”
Shrine Beliefs and the Motorcycle Accident
Thais have small shrines in their homes for worship. Sometimes they can be found in rice fields workplaces most stores and resorts or just along the road. It can be used to worship dead relatives or just random ghosts that occupy the area. I didn’t know what it was and if I knew or could see it I wouldn’t have done it. Sunchai was so angry and didn’t speak to me the whole night. The next day he was still angry as he only spoke to me when he needed to.
This part of the story is where things got a little weird. As we were driving out of the village Sunchai was riding fast as I tried to keep up. Suddenly I felt a strong gust of wind and I lost control of the bike and fell headfirst into the road. My helmet flew off my head as I landed luckily the helmet broke my fall as it came off. Afterwards the bike continued to slide off the road and into the rice field.
The next thing I knew I could hear Sunchai calling my name and asking me if I was okay. The first thing that came out of my mouth as I was laying on the side of the road covered in blood was “Is the bike okay?” Sunchai got a towel from his bike and wiped some of the blood off my face. He asked if I could get up and walk as he wanted to take me to the nearest clinic. When we got to the clinic the doctor examined me thoroughly. Luckily I escaped with just minor cuts to the face and scrapes on the body.
I went inside the restroom to clean the blood off my face and as I came out the doctor the nurse the receptionist and Sunchai were all looking at me like I’ve just killed someone. He explained to me that what I did last night was unforgivable that is the reason why this accident occurred. I just rubbished it off and blamed the accident on my lack of experience on a bike and that it could have happened to anyone. Sunchai shook his head and just paid for the bill.
I hopped back on his bike and we needed to retrieve the Vespa stuck in the rice fields. When we got to the location of the accident Sunchai pointed that it wasn’t a coincidence that I had the accident there it was the same location of the shrine that I had peed on last night. He continued saying that I must make things right or things won’t stop happening. The only problem is he doesn’t know how. He said when we get back to Chiang Mai he will ask his mother about it.
When we got back to Chiang Mai I told Sunchai that I wanted to stay in a hotel because I didn’t want to bother his family. He dropped me off at a hotel and asked me not to do anything stupid he will try to get some advice on how to fix our little problem.
Chiang Mai Night Bazaar
I rested for a few hours until around 7:00 p.m. I logged onto the internet to see what was good in Chiang Mai and decided to head to the night bazaar for some dinner. I called Sunchai and he said he’ll meet me there as he had an appointment with a friend. I got a taxi on the side of the road and he took me straight to my destination.
I’ve never in my life seen so many people in one place at the same time. I was so amazed at the scenery and to be honest I was a little overwhelmed as I’m a guy from a quiet town. I went into a bar where I saw a lot of farangs and ordered some food and beer as I waited for my friend.
A few hours went by and I was getting bored. So I called the waitress over to get my check. When the bill arrived I checked my pockets to get my wallet out and it was nowhere to be seen. The last time I saw it was when I paid the taxi driver. I must have dropped it in the cab or on the street. Feeling a bit embarrassed I told the waitress that I had a change of heart and decided to stay for a few more beers and wait for my friend to join me.
20 minutes later Sunchai arrived. I told him that I’ve lost my wallet. With a big sigh he told me to report it to the police station. When we left the police station Sunchai said he had a surprise for me. He took me to a place with a VIP room. Inside the room there was a private bar a pool table and a huge TV screen. 2 minutes later an older lady came along with 10 or 12 pretty girls. Sunchai told me to pick one to sit with.
I was so shy as I’ve never seen anything like this before. I couldn’t even stare at the girls’ faces yet alone pick one. Sunchai understood the situation and picked two girls to sit with us. They were both beautiful so I wasn’t bothered. The night went by as we drank played pool and sang. The bar was closing and we had to pay the bill. Sunchai asked if I wanted one of them to come back to the hotel with me. I replied “Only if she wants to.”
Sunchai went and negotiated something with her and she agreed to come back with me. We left the establishment and headed straight to my hotel. Suddenly a car rammed him from behind. The owner of the vehicle got out and apologized to Sunchai admitting it was his fault. They exchanged details and both went their separate ways. Sunchai dropped me off at the front of the lobby. He gave me strict instructions not to wander off by myself the next day until he arrives.
The Spirit in the Hotel Room
The girl was holding my hand as we took the lift to the fifth floor where I was staying. The lift stopped on the first floor. I didn’t think anything of it I just pressed the close door button again. It stopped on the second floor no longer in so I pressed the button again. Once again it stopped on the third floor and the door opened. The girl with me started to come closer and closer to me as she held my arm tight. I told her that we will take the stairs back down and talk to the receptionist.
I told him that the lifts are stopping on every level without anyone getting in. He came inside the lift with us pressed level five the lift took us all the way up to level five without stopping on any of the other floors. I thought it was strange but it was probably just a coincidence.
When we got back to my room the girl didn’t say much. She just sat there and looked around the room. I asked her what was wrong. She said she’s getting weird feelings and goosebumps on the back of her neck. She asked me if she could cancel our arrangement as she didn’t want to stay one more minute in this room. I didn’t want to force her to stay if she didn’t want to. She reached in her bag and took a few thousand baht and placed it on the table. She then ran out the door without saying a word.
I called Sunchai and told him what happened. He just said “Don’t worry about it. Tomorrow I’m taking you to the temple.”
The next day at 10:00 a.m. Sunchai arrived to pick me up. We drove to a temple recommended by his friend. When we got there he told me not to say anything and just do what he does. So I followed the ritual as best as I could. Without Sunchai explaining anything to the monk the monk said “He’s really angry at your friend for his arrogance.” I was baffled.
The monk and Sunchai tried their best to explain the situation to me. Apparently I have a spirit following me around which was causing all this bad luck. The only way to fix it is to bathe in holy water and to go back to the shrine with an offering and apologize for my mistake. I didn’t want this to ruin my holiday so I agreed to follow these steps even though I didn’t really believe it.
The Holy Water Offering
After I bathed in holy water we drove for three hours back to the shrine where it all started. Sunchai placed some fruit sweets and some red drink on the bottom of the shrine. He burned some incense for us and told me to repeat after him and place the incense on the ground next to the food.
The rest of my holiday went by very quickly without any problems and I returned safely home. I learned an important lesson that trip not only should I respect Thai laws but to also respect Thai beliefs and customs. I haven’t seen Sunchai in 5 years I can’t wait to visit him again.
Well I don’t know if it was true or exaggerated or a little far-fetched. But one thing I will tell you if you come out to Thailand if you haven’t been here before these little spirit houses they look like little houses literally like little Thai houses and they’re everywhere. Even if you go to Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy places you wouldn’t expect religion to pop its head as it were they are everywhere. And the Thais deeply they’re very very religious Buddhism. So always take it seriously don’t make fun don’t touch anything on these shrines and just be very very respectful.
Story 2 The Go Go Dancer Who Paid Me A First-Timer’s Baffling Night
Firstly a little bit about myself so I can paint the backdrop for this story. I’m an average looking American guy in my mid 30s and was on my first trip to Thailand. I had heard stories of Pattaya from a friend and as a gift to myself I decided to finally go and booked my trip right after New Year.
I flew into Bangkok and was going to be in Thailand for a little over 2 weeks. After a few nights of visiting the go go bars in Nana Plaza I headed down to Pattaya. What a culture shock. I was not used to the “handsome man” cat calls every 20 feet. I really thought that type of attention would be enjoyable but truthfully I now see why women find this off putting. However after a few more days a person can adapt to their surroundings.
I had been hitting the go go bars on Walking Street every night and I was bar fining a different girl each night to drink and play pool with. After about a week I go into a bar I’ve never been to this bar which I found is quite famous on Walking Street. If you do a little research you will know what go go bar I’m referring to. This go go bar is unlike any other I went to. Here in the States all clubs have a “keep your hands to yourself” type of rule regarding the dancers. Here this place to put it mildly had no such rule. If I was uncomfortable with cat calls you can imagine what I saw there.
I found rather disturbing. I left after only about 20 minutes. But as I said you get used to just about everything in time. So a couple of days later I thought “Why not check out that place again?” which brings me to the main character of the story. I never did get her name but we’ll just call her Hot Mess or M for short. I called her Hot Mess because out of all the girls in the bar 7/10 she was a superstar. She was also a bubbly mess so Hot Mess.
Bleach blonde hair 5 feet tall and a perfect figure. I called her over and bought her a drink. Now I drink margaritas normally but trying to find a place that serves you margaritas in Thailand is like trying to find water in a desert. You can find it but you really must search. So I must resort to shots shots of tequila. Also as this is relevant to the story I have a rather high tolerance for alcohol and if I don’t keep drinking once I’ve started when I’m out I will quickly very quickly lose my mood. This isn’t really a problem because I can hold my alcohol and unless you really know me most people can’t tell when I’m drunk.
So we have a few shots and I ask her to leave the bar with me. The most enjoyable part of the evening for me is partying and playing pool in the bars on Beach Road. M tells me she cannot keep me company for more than a couple of hours or so. I have a pretty good buzz and I really want to see her so I take her for a couple of hours and a good time was had by both of us.
Bar Drinks and Decisions
Fast forward 2 days and I really want to see her again. I go back to her bar but she said she’s with another guy. I decide to have a few drinks and hang back and see how the situation develops. After a little while he leaves and she comes and sits next to me. I buy another round and tell her I want to take her out again but this time I want to take her out for the whole evening not just a couple of hours. She again says she only goes out for a few hours. M told me that if I paid two bar fines she could keep me company for the entire evening which worked for me.
Now this part is key to the story no money has changed hands between M and I. So this is where our evening started. She said she had not eaten yet and asked if she could eat some noodles that the manager had brought for the girls and were in the girls’ changing rooms. She tells me that after we can leave together. I wanted to enjoy M’s company and hadn’t eaten yet myself so I offered to take her to a seafood restaurant on the waterfront. I thought it was certainly better than a bowl of noodles from some stall’s cart on the street.
M said “No it’s fine. The noodles will be okay and we’ll save you money.” I said that I really didn’t mind and would be happy to take her out for a good meal. She again declined and said “Okay wait for me.” About 20 minutes later she comes out all smiles and is ready to go. She looks totally different fully dressed stunning actually.
We go to another go go bar together as she doesn’t play pool but she wants to drink. That suits me just fine. We have a few shots and rank the girls on stage by hotness. We are both laughing and having a good time. I tell her she is prettier than all of them to which she is positively beaming. What girl doesn’t like flattery?
After an hour or so she says she wants to take me to another bar her friends work at. I knew immediately this is going to be a costly night if I decide to go but at this point I have a good buzz so I don’t really care about the money. So we head off to the next bar. She sees her friend and around four to five girls huddle around us. She asks for me to buy them all a lady drink which I happily oblige. We all talk and laugh around 20 minutes and after each girl finishes her drink they thank me and leave me and M alone. I thought that was extremely nice that none of them including M did not try to pressure me for more lady drinks and were happy with just the one.
M is also happy as she gained face for bringing me as a customer to buy drinks for all of her friends.
The Night Turns Sour
So about 10 minutes later we changed go gos again and are laughing and holding hands on the way. As this next go go bar we both really enjoy the music and have a couple more shots. As I’m enjoying the view I notice so is M. It is at this point I’m starting to think I’m not the only one of us that likes girls. But the night is getting costly enough already without thinking such things so I pay the bill and we leave.
As we are leaving I realize I am at the perfect level of drunk not too much that I will be sick but enough that I will be able to maintain my buzz for the rest of the night without having to do any more shots. And M is also not too drunk as she is in great spirits. As we have been laughing and joking all night and I made her look good in front of her friends I thought “What a perfect time to end the evening and go back to my hotel.” I’m also keenly aware that good vibes can quickly turn to bad when someone’s been drinking so why ruin the evening when so far it’s been great?
I was now hungry and wanted to take M to the restaurant on the waterfront. Against my better judgment I asked her if she would like to go and she happily said yes. So after a short walk we arrived and were seated. We had a chance to look over the menu and gave the waitress our orders.
As we were waiting for our food it was around this time that I noticed her mood begins to change. She’s getting a little short tempered and I could tell the vibe wasn’t the same. I had a feeling this might happen if we continued the night but it was still just a vibe and I held out hope her mood would again change and we will be all smiles again. Unfortunately this did not happen. I am soon finding that anything I say is taken negatively. This goes on for around 10 minutes or so and I’m quickly seeing any hopes of a fun night evaporating before my eyes.
As a last minute idea I attempt to spin something she said into a funny joke to make her laugh. She just stares at me and says “Don’t say that.” She stays quiet for a few more seconds as I try to think of what else I could do to lighten the mood. Then she says “Why you not let me eat?”
I asked her what I didn’t understand what she was referring to. She says “At the beginning of the night why you not let me eat noodles?” I told her I was trying to be nice and wanted to take her to a nice meal. She said I was a bad man for not wanting her to eat. I sat there for a few seconds not knowing what to say. Then she broke the silence and said she didn’t want to stay with me.
The Dancer Pays Me Back
Well that was fine with me. There was no salvaging the night and it’s no fun being with someone that doesn’t want to be there. So I told her I understand and I wished her a good night. She sat there for a few seconds then reached in her purse and pulled out 3000 baht and handed it to me. Then she got up and left.
I looked down at the money and then back up at her walking away not knowing what was going on. Apparently neither did the staff as our server and another server were right next to the table with our food watching this slow motion car wreck play out. I just looked at them and shrugged my shoulders. What could I say?
Now I’ve only paid 1000 baht to the bar. I hadn’t paid M any money. So why has she given me 3000 baht? I have no idea. She was with me the entire night so she saw what I paid to the bar. I don’t know if I’m the only one in Pattaya but if not I am a part of a select few that could say at the end of the night after a bar fine and a go go dancer the go go dancer actually paid for everything. Not bad for an average looking guy first trip to Thailand.
Looking back on it I can see it was funny but at the time I felt like an idiot. What kind of jerk do you have to be for a go go dancer to pay you to leave? So I finished my food and was going to call it a night. I had been royally rejected by a go go dancer and my ego was on the floor. But then it hit me how bad could the night get? It had to be uphill from there right? So I went out and met another girl I had previously met and bar fined her with money so a story with a happy ending.
But I still don’t know why M was so upset with me.
You can only guess can’t you? My best guess is that she’d been out drinking she was having a good time she planned out the evening she was going to stay with this guy for a few hours but she’s obviously thought of something else something she’d like to do. Maybe the alcohol has affected her and she’s thought “Okay I don’t want to go back with this guy I want to go somewhere else.” And maybe that was so important that that’s the reason why she put the money on the table. Maybe she gave him the money because she didn’t want him to go back to the go go bar and complain that she left because they would look down quite fiercely on that. As I say we can only guess.
The Dressed Lobster Scam
But this seafood restaurant he’s telling me about I had an experience. I’ll just tell you very quickly you can skip to the next story if it’s not for you. So I went out with a bunch of people to a seafood restaurant on Walking Street. I won’t name it for obvious reasons. But we ordered well I ordered a lobster because lobster is not the sort of thing I would eat in the UK. It’s just so expensive and not available like it is in Thailand. And it was lobster on the menu no other description of full lobster that I was going to share with a friend.
Anyway cut through the chase we got this lobster on the table and after looking at it carefully it was what they call a dressed lobster. So obviously a fresh lobster would be cooked you crack it open and the meat of the lobster would be all fresh and together and you’d have to separate it. This was actually bits and pieces that they’d stuffed into the shell. In the UK we call it stuffed crab actually we don’t have lobster but when you go to the seaside and you order crabs sometimes they stuff them with bits and pieces. It’s called dressed crab. And it was the same thing it was dressed lobster. They denied it. We couldn’t get our money back. So it’s just another one of these scams that you come across here.
So if you ever order lobster ask them is it bits and pieces or is it a full one?
Story 3 The Honest Conversation A Gentle Letdown in Bangkok
I came back to Thailand via the Phuket Sandbox on July the 17th and stayed in Phuket up until now because it simply made no sense to move to a dark red zone with harsh restrictions and a 9:00 p.m. curfew. I had chatted a couple of times with a girl called Nim and she said that she was keen to meet me when I made it to Bangkok.
September 15 I flew from Phuket to Bangkok and Nim got off work at 5:00 p.m. (she has a job at a bank). She came to my hotel at 7:00 p.m. We went out to dinner and then went back and she treated me to the best aerobics I think I’ve ever had in my life. We repeated it the next time except she said that she didn’t need dinner. Neither of us like to eat at night. Again the best aerobics and a round two in the wee hours.
Friday we took the day off from each other but had a plan to spend Saturday at ICONSIAM shopping mall. The more times that we spent together the more I realized that I really do not want to continue seeing Nim. She was still a pretty woman not a reference to the movie but I had gained a kilo or so and seem to have aged more. I know at this point I may sound like a jerk but I know how I am and I know at some point I’m going to want someone else.
At ICONSIAM while having noodles I had a conversation with her that went something like this “I don’t want to be like one of those guys who have broken your heart. I’m not going to stay in Bangkok. I want to live in Pattaya. So I’m not going to make you my girlfriend. I really like you and want to keep seeing you. I hope that we can stay friends and see each other when I’m here or if you visit Pattaya.” She agreed and seemed happy that I had the conversation with her and tried to keep things honest.
At 2:00 p.m. I sent her home in a taxi and took my own to the hotel. She asked me if she should come to my room. I told her “No I have to meet my American friends later.” She seemed disappointed and later sent me a message online which I did not really understand but I think that she could tell that it was the end.
