The Thai Bar Girl Who Got Away After Finding Work In Dubai
The One That Got Away
Most of the time, Thai bar girls are just playing games and nine times out of ten they aren’t serious. But once in a blue moon, you can meet one who is truly different and has her head screwed on.
After I was let go from my job with a decent severance pay, I wanted to treat myself to a long break, and Thailand was calling my name. I had actually visited a couple of months before, and let’s just say I had a lot of fun, and I knew I had to go back.
At first, my plan was pretty simple, basically a repeat of the last trip. I was thinking I’d spend some time in the Bangkok bars and meet some ladies there, then get out of holiday mode and hit up a Muay Thai gym just outside the city and really dive into the training. I’d also do a bit of traveling around, maybe head up north to check out areas I hadn’t had the chance to explore last time. Although I do like the nightlife in Thailand, and I like hanging out with the bar girls having fun, I also like to see more of the country than just that. It sounded like the perfect mix of adventure and self improvement, and I was ready for it.
A Change of Plans
I had originally planned on staying in Thailand for about five months and getting as much done as possible. I was going to do two months visa exemption, extend it for a month, and then do a border run to extend it. At the end of that, I’d see where I was and then plan from there. But life had other plans.
Right before I left, I had a job interview, and I ended up landing the position. The job was a decent job, with a great salary and a lot of benefits, so I couldn’t turn it down just for the sake of a longer Thailand trip. So, my grand Thai adventure got cut short to just under three months, which was still great, but it wasn’t exactly what I had hoped.
Anyway, on to the juicy details of my story.
The First Night
I was in a bar in Bangkok on a Friday night, enjoying myself as I usually do, having fun and buying drinks. The bar I was in had some sort of bar girl agency thing going on, so there were about 10 new girls there for their first night. I had never seen that happen before, but it sure was fun.
About halfway through the night, a girl walked in. She caught my attention right away. I’d say she was around 23, maybe a little younger. She was super petite, even smaller than most Thai girls, which made her stand out even more. She had that classic Thai look: long, thick dark hair down her back, and her skin was a little darker than most Thai girls. When she smiled, it was impossible not to notice it was huge and beautiful. The way she dressed was on point too, and she had a great body to go along with everything. Even though my Thai wasn’t anything to brag about (okay, it was nonexistent), I still enjoyed listening to her speak.
After a while, I couldn’t resist asking the girl I was currently with, before the new girl came, who she was. She told me she was new to the bar, had only been there a couple of days, and was there because she had actually recently left her normal job. It made her seem even more interesting, and I really wanted to know more. Talking to bar girls who have worked there a long time, it’s normally the same conversation, but speaking to people who are new to that game, I feel you get to know them a bit more because they are not used to asking you the boilerplate bar girl questions.
Eventually, I gathered up the courage to go and talk to her. I am not sure why, but I actually felt nervous for once when approaching a bar girl, but I figured I had to at least give it a shot. I waited until she was done with the customer who was chatting to her without buying her a drink, and then I made my move. I asked the girl I was sitting with if she minded that I go over and talk to her. Of course, she didn’t mind; she’d already gotten a few lady drinks out of me, and she was happy enough.
I walked over to this new girl, and again, for some strange reason, I got nervous and shy. I could barely keep it together before I said hello. She turned around and gave me this look of confusion, like she wasn’t sure who I was or what was going on. Then she mumbled something, but I couldn’t really catch what she said.
I tried to keep things light and asked her how she was doing, but it was obvious she was new to all this, and I could quite easily see she was nervous. She seemed shy, and I noticed she was avoiding looking directly at me. Instead, she was fixed on something over my shoulder, like she wasn’t sure how to react. I decided to keep things simple and asked her name, introducing myself at the same time, and asked if I could buy her a drink. This time, she mumbled something again, but I caught enough to figure out what her name was. It was a start, at least!
Getting to Know Her
We sat down and got drinks. At first, the conversation was a little awkward, with lots of small talk that didn’t really go anywhere. Her English was shaky, and she mumbled quite a bit, so it was hard to keep the flow going. But after a little while, her English seemed to improve just enough to make the conversation feel a bit more natural, even though she still had a tendency to mumble.
She opened up a bit and told me that she had only just started doing this job and had done office work previously, which is the reason she was shy and did not speak English well. She didn’t plan on working at the bar too long; she just wanted to make some extra money while she was applying for other jobs.
We spent a couple of hours drinking and talking to each other. Although I did not learn anything more about her, she seemed to enjoy my company as I did hers. I had to move on to a different bar, as I promised my friend I’d see him there. I asked for her number, saying something like, “Would it be okay if I called or texted you sometime?” She smiled at me and nodded her head. I gave her my LINE and told her if she was interested in meeting up again, just message me.
In all fairness, I did not really expect her to contact me. She probably just saw me as another farang who was after one thing. But she had my number, so it was up to her now. I walked away with my phone in hand, grinning like a Cheshire cat and feeling on top of the world. I carried on with my night as if I had never met her, didn’t say anything to my friend about her, and just had a fun night out in Bangkok.
She Messaged Me The Next Morning
The next morning, I was lying in bed alone, feeling a little bit worse for wear, and my phone went off.
It was her.
I was surprised by how good her written English was, way better than I expected, especially after our conversation that was hard to understand the night before. She apologized for her English being “bad”, but honestly, it was way better than mine!
The First Date
We started exchanging a few messages back and forth. After some casual texting, I decided to go for it and asked if she wanted to go out for dinner sometime. I hit send and then just waited. It felt like forever before I got a reply, and when I finally did, it was a simple “Yes.”
We arranged to meet at the Terminal 21 mall on Sukhumvit Road, as she knew a restaurant in the area, and it seemed like an easy spot to find each other. I got there around 7:30, right on time, but when I looked around, I didn’t see her anywhere. I waited for about 15 minutes, but still, no sign of her. It was starting to feel a bit awkward, with me just standing there while people were walking by me.
As I waited, the doubt started creeping in. Was she standing me up? I checked the time again. Another 10 minutes had passed. I couldn’t just stand there, so I called her. She picked up right away, and it turned out there was more than one entrance to the mall. She was at one of them, and I was at the other.
When I finally saw her face to face, I couldn’t believe how cute she looked, actually cuter than when I’d seen her at the bar. She was obviously not dressed as if she was going to the bar, but she still looked amazing.
We headed off to the restaurant, and I could tell right away that her English was still a little rough. She was clearly still very shy, nervous, and probably cautious of me, which is understandable. She mumbled a lot, and I had to really focus to catch what she was saying. The conversation felt a little clunky at first, but as the night wore on, something started to shift.
Her English improved as she got more comfortable, and she began to relax. Her body language changed too; she went from being nervous and stiff to more laid back and at ease. It was like the conversation was finally flowing, and I could see her starting to enjoy herself, which made me feel a lot better too.
A Different Kind of Girl
What really amazed me was how different she was from other girls I’d been out with in the past. I have dated both bar girls and girls who work a normal job in the past, but they didn’t even come close to this girl. She didn’t ask the same old, boring questions over and over again, like “What did you eat today?” or “What’s your favorite color?” I’d been out with a few Thai girls before, and although they were fun to hang out with, the conversations always felt like they were on repeat. If I mentioned something even slightly out of the ordinary, their response would often be, “I don’t know!” It got old pretty quickly.
But with her, it was different. She actually engaged in the conversation and didn’t stick to the usual clichés. The other thing that stood out was how polite she was. She was constantly saying “thank you,” which was a lot more than I could say for some of the other girls I had gone out with before. It was refreshing to see someone so genuine.
Over the next few weeks, we started hanging out more and more, and it quickly turned into something deeper. We went out on several dates, and I began to feel like we were becoming really close. She showed me around Bangkok, taking me to places I hadn’t been and introducing me to some of her friends.
What had started as a holiday romance was beginning to feel like something much more meaningful, even though it was with a bar girl. I know she was a bar girl, but she was very new to the game, and from what I saw, it was a temporary gig for her, unlike some of the girls who want to do this for as long as possible. There was this connection between us that I hadn’t expected, and it was starting to feel like we were building something real.
Falling for Her
Spending time with her was honestly one of the highlights of my time in Thailand. When we weren’t together, she was pretty much always on my mind. I’d catch myself thinking about her at random times, and sometimes, I couldn’t even believe I had found myself in this situation. After everything I had read online about Thai girls and the stereotype of having a “Thai girlfriend,” I started to wonder how I’d be judged back home by my friends. But despite all that, I couldn’t deny how happy I was to be with her.
Even if I’d go out with friends to other bars, I just wasn’t interested anymore in talking with other girls. I’d still have fun, but I would make it very clear that I was only there to drink. And most of the time, I would end up in her bar by the end of the night so I could see her again. We spent most nights together after she finished work, and then most of the morning and afternoon together the next day. It became a nice routine with her. Having a romance like this in Thailand is something I did not really have on the cards.
One of my favorite places was one of the many Bangkok parks. It was a peaceful spot where we could sit and just talk, getting to know each other better with every conversation. I never once got bored talking to her. She had this way of making everything interesting, and she had this incredibly positive outlook on life that I admired so much. It was like she was always able to find the good in every situation, and it was really refreshing.
She told me her dream was to move out of Thailand for work, not the way that most Thai girls do, with a sponsor. She had even been applying to jobs in other countries and wanted to put her qualifications to use. We also had a similar sense of humor, which was a huge plus. Sure, sometimes I found her a bit childish in some ways, but that only added to the fun of everything. What really stood out to me, though, was that she was so much more than just cute and fun. She was really smart and could have a serious conversation when the moment called for it. It was that balance between lightheartedness and maturity that made her so special.
I grew really close to her over time, but there was always this part of me that was a bit worried and nervous. I would start thinking about what exactly she was after. I mean, after everything I’d read online about Thai girls and relationships like this, they barely work, and nine times out of ten, they end up with the guy being rinsed. Plus, I knew that a future together would always be complicated by our cultural differences, distance, and everything else. So, I started thinking, why would I want to keep this relationship going? I don’t want to eventually turn into an ATM being used at a distance.
Just to be clear, she never gave me the impression she was after money, using me for anything, or that anything about her seemed toxic. It was just thoughts in the back of my mind, I guess. There were a few moments when I seriously considered walking away, telling myself it might just be easier to stop seeing her. But in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. If something feels right, why change it, right? I had a feeling deep down that it was worth sticking with her.
The News
Then, one morning, she called me with some news. She’d been telling me for a while that she had been applying to jobs abroad, and she had finally gotten an offer in Dubai, doing some sort of accounting office work. I was actually very happy for her because I knew this was what she wanted, and she had already told me she wanted out of Thailand and on to better things. It was a big step for her, and I was genuinely excited to see her go after this dream of hers. At the same time, though, I couldn’t deny a little bit of sadness. I knew things would get even more complicated between us now.
She explained that there was still the paperwork process to go through, but if everything went smoothly, she’d be leaving Thailand in about four weeks. I was planning on leaving Thailand in five weeks myself. I wished she had gotten a job in my country rather than Dubai. We made the most of the time we had left, though. For the last three weeks, we spent a lot of time together, trying to soak up every moment. She even stopped working at the bar a week earlier than she had originally planned so we could go on a little getaway before she left. It felt like we were trying to squeeze in as much time as possible.
Meeting the Family
Then, two days before she was set to fly to Dubai, her family came to visit Bangkok to see her off. Her grandma, uncle, aunt, and both her parents were there. She invited me to meet them and join them for dinner. I was both excited and nervous. I mean, this was a big step, meeting her family and especially knowing that she hadn’t really told them about me yet. I asked her if she had mentioned me to them, and she told me, “Not exactly, but it’ll be fine.” I wasn’t so sure about that, but I agreed to go anyway, trying to stay calm and go with the flow.
We were meeting at an apartment belonging to her parents’ friends, and as I arrived in the taxi, I could immediately see the look of confusion on her dad’s face. When he saw his daughter with a pale-skinned, blonde-haired guy, you could practically see the wheels turning in his head. He gave me this look, almost like he was trying to figure me out. It was intense, like he was looking right through me, wondering who this guy was and what his intentions were.
I did my best to be respectful and greeted him with a bow and a “Sawasdee krub” (Hello), to which he gave me a small nod. It wasn’t exactly a warm greeting, but it was something. I figured I’d try to do something helpful. There was a 7-Eleven close by; I went inside and grabbed four big bottles of Singha beer. I figured it would be the perfect icebreaker, and hopefully, it would leave a good impression on her family.
As soon as we entered the small apartment, I made sure to give a bow to everyone and greeted them with another “Sawasdee krub.” The first person I noticed was her mom. I could tell it was her right away, mainly because of the big, warm smile she gave me, showing off a perfect set of teeth. Her grandma, on the other hand, was a little different. Her remaining teeth had clearly seen better days, but she had this sweet, welcoming energy about her that made me feel at ease. It was clear that the whole family was a bit bemused by my unexpected appearance. They probably didn’t know what to make of me, this random foreigner showing up out of the blue.
The only one whose face didn’t budge was her dad. It was like he had this rock-solid, unreadable expression ever since he first saw me in the taxi. I had no idea what was going on in his head, but I could tell he wasn’t exactly thrilled.
The interesting thing was that none of them spoke English, except for her uncle. He spoke it pretty poorly, but that didn’t stop him from giving it his best shot. Thankfully, most of what he said was easy to translate, and from there, I was bombarded with questions. They wanted to know where I was from, what I was doing in Thailand, and a million other things. I tried to answer as best I could, but it felt like the heat was on, and I wasn’t sure if I was passing the test.
Sharing Beer With Her Father
I handed the bag of Singha to her dad, and he gave me another nod and then said something rapid-fire in Thai. Before I could even process it, a glass was in my hand, and he was filling it up with Singha, giving me a slight smile. It seemed like my plan had actually worked! I felt a little relief as he handed me the beer, like it was a sign that I was starting to win them over.
As the day went on, more questions kept coming, and the food just kept appearing. It was like there was an endless supply, and her mom was always checking to see if it was too spicy for me. “Ped mai?” I had learned this phrase by now, meaning “Is it too spicy?” I smiled and said it was fine, even if my mouth was occasionally on fire!
Her mom kept going on and on about how she was worried because she had never seen a “farang” (foreigner) who looked younger than he actually was. She said that farangs usually looked older than their age, which honestly left me a bit confused. I wasn’t entirely sure why she was so worried about it, but I just smiled and nodded. My glass was constantly being refilled with Singha, and I could feel myself starting to relax a bit more as the evening went on.
I learned more about her family. Her dad was ex army, which made a lot of sense. It explained his serious demeanor and the way he eyed me up earlier. It was just his nature, I suppose. Even though I couldn’t speak Thai as well as I wanted to, I did my best to stay polite and smile through the conversation. I really wished I could have understood more, though, especially when it came to talking directly to her parents. I felt like I was missing out on a lot of what they were saying, but I tried to make the most of it.
A Final Dinner Before Dubai
As the day was coming to an end and I was preparing to leave, they invited me to dinner the next day. I was happy to accept the dinner invitation; it felt nice to be included in another family gathering. I knew she would be leaving for Dubai that night, and I wanted to do something special for her before she left.
The next morning, I woke up early, went to the mall, and spent some time picking out a gift. I arrived at the apartment just before noon. Her dad was sitting on the couch watching TV, so I joined him in awkward silence between us. We had our last dinner together with the family, and I gave her a gold necklace that I had purchased at the mall earlier. Although everyone was having fun, you could feel the sadness in the air. Everyone was upset that she was leaving but putting on a brave face to not bring the mood down.
And then it was finally time to go to the airport and say our final goodbyes. All of us, including the family, got a taxi together, with her mom crying and her father just staring out the window.
The Airport Goodbye
At the airport, she told me that I couldn’t hug her, and that it would be best just to smile and wave. It seemed so final. I was finally feeling that this might just be the end of me and her. She promised she would call me as soon as she could once she got to Dubai, and that we could stay in touch through LINE. Then, as if to make it feel a little more official, she made me promise that I would come visit her as soon as I could, to which I agreed, of course.
After saying my goodbyes, I walked away from the airport with a lump in my throat. I also said my goodbyes to her family, as they were getting a taxi to a different place from me. I got the taxi back to the condo I had been renting, and I was finally alone, able to process everything. I felt overwhelmed with sadness at that point. I’d waved goodbye to girls before, but those were different situations, relationships ending after university or because of circumstances, not because someone I really cared about was about to fly to a different country.
I was making it a bigger deal than it should have been because, even if she stayed in Thailand, I would still have to fly to see her, so it shouldn’t have really mattered if she was in Dubai or not. So, I’m not really sure why I felt sad and lonely, but I did.
It was a helpless feeling. I cared about her so much. To me, this wasn’t just some kind of relationship that you hear about in all these stories; it was more than that, and the thought of not being able to see her or hold her for months. It just hit me.
This was the first time in my life I’d ever cried over a girl, and it hit me hard. I called up a friend, hoping to distract myself with a few beers in Sukhumvit. So, I ended up sitting there with him, watching the crowd walk by, feeling completely defeated, while trying my best to get slightly tipsy. I sat there, wondering when I’d ever see her again, if at all.
To cut the story short, I never made it to Dubai to visit her. Over time, our messages slowed down, and eventually, they stopped. My guess is that she met someone else and moved on with her life. It wasn’t a terrible ending, but it still stung.
