A Thai Relationship Story About Money and Consequences

I am unfortunately another farang statistic that, against all the advice I was given, I still tried to chase and be with a Thai bar girl.

The fact that I am writing this, you probably already know how this story is going to end.

I first went to Thailand in the winter of 2023. This was partly because of everything I had been going through the previous years.

At the time, my father had developed dementia, and how fast it took over him was insane. It got to the point where I had to quit my job and be his full-time caregiver.

I had the option of putting him in a care home, but I just couldn’t stomach that thought. He had looked after me my whole life; now it was time for me to do the same, with help from other family members also.

As you can probably understand, I did not have much of a life at that time as it was all focused on him. Plus, watching him slowly go didn’t exactly put me in the best of social moods.

My Cousin Suggested Thailand

My cousin, who would help out now and again with my father, would see how broken I was, how physically and emotionally drained I had become, and that it wasn’t only my father that turned into a different person, it was also me.

My cousin was actually the person that put the thought of Thailand in my head and suggested that I take a break from everything with a trip there.

For me, Thailand had never been on my radar. I wasn’t much of a traveller, did not care about other cultures and sightseeing, and really just had no interest at all.

But the way my cousin kept going on about it, it planted the thoughts in my mind.

He was a frequent visitor, being a single man and loving that type of life. He would tell me about the things he got up to while out there, told me all about the nightlife and the women, how cheap everything is there, and that even if I did not want to do all the bar things, there is always a beach not far away.

I would just laugh it off at first, but I would find myself thinking whether the stories he was telling me were true or not and that maybe I should go and find out for myself.

Deciding to Visit Phuket

Even though the situation with my father made it so I couldn’t just book a two-week holiday and fly to the other side of the world tomorrow, my cousin still wouldn’t let it go.

He would tell me that I needed to go because Thai girls are amazing at making you forget everything for a while; you leave your problems at home and they take care of the rest.

He said anyone from anywhere can go to Thailand, meet a great girl that would spend your holiday with you, and then when it’s all said and done, you just go home like nothing happened.

Again, this played on my mind for a few days and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to experience this.

I hadn’t had a relationship for years since everything that was going on, so the thought of having a holiday fling was eating at me, even though it would just be a temporary relationship while I was there.

So I finally gave in. After hearing all the crazy stories from my cousin, doing a little bit of research online, and with things at home draining me physically and mentally, I decided I was going to go for it.

Arriving in Phuket

We booked a place in Phuket, a place my cousin knew all too well, and planned on going there in December for 2 weeks. My stepsister agreed to look after my dad for 2 weeks, so I had nothing to worry about at home.

That was it; I was finally going on a much-needed break and heading straight to Thailand for it.

Flying from London to Phuket, we got a taxi straight to the hotel and within minutes my cousin was already on his way out, telling me to meet him at this bar close by.

My cousin is one of those typical crazy Thailand tourists that are there strictly for the nightlife and meeting women, so I knew there wasn’t going to be much relaxing on this trip.

He’d already sent me a selfie of him sitting with a group of girls at the bar, and within about 30 minutes, I was on my way to join them.

He really wasn’t lying about the stories he had told me about Thailand. As soon as I walked in the bar, a girl was grabbing my hand and taking me to sit down next to them.

Meeting Tip in a Thai Bar

She asked me what I wanted to drink and asked if she could have one as well. I told her it would be my first beer in Thailand, so yeah, she can get one as well.

She came back with our drinks, introduced herself as Tip, asked me a couple of basic questions: my name, age, where I’m from and that kind of stuff and within minutes she was all touchy and flirty with me.

Her hand would switch between holding mine and rubbing the back of my neck while we drank and chatted.

I literally knew nothing about this girl and she knew nothing about me. Being this flirty and touchy so early on is not something I was used to. I sure as hell don’t experience this back home.

Back home, I have to actually put the groundwork in for someone who’s not even half as attractive as Tip was.

That first night in Thailand was pretty fun, an experience I’ll probably never forget just for the simple reason of how easy it is to get attention there.

Meeting Mint on Bangla Road

Tip did ask me if she could come back with me after we were calling it a night, but I was absolutely beat from the travel, the beers, and the heat. I told her maybe another night and that I’d come back to see her soon.

The next day, I wanted to go to the beach, but my cousin, being the person he is, had other plans. He wanted to take me around Bangla Road to see everything that goes on around those streets.

It was still early evening, but the bars were still open and the girls were still out, so we went to a soi at the top of Bangla Road which had huts that were bars. Again, as soon as we got drinks, 2 girls came and joined us.

That’s when I met Mint, the girl that would soon give me the experience of a lifetime, but not a very good one at that.

When I met her, she looked to be in her early 20s, had a huge smile like most Thai girls have, and she was extremely confident in the way she spoke to us and, of course, flirted with us.

We got the girls some drinks, played some bar games, and a game where you have to hit a nail in a tree stump with the claw side of a hammer, which was a new one for me.

Paying the Barfine

Same as the night before, we were having so much fun that we ended up staying there the whole night without bar hopping and just drank with the 2 girls.

The next morning, I was up bright and early. With my cousin still sleeping off the hangover, I thought now would be a great time to check out the beach, as he’s clearly not interested.

Walking down there, I walked past the bar from last night. The girl behind the bar that was playing games with us also called me over and asked if I was coming back to see Mint tonight.

I told her that I’d come back if she wanted me to, to which the bar lady said of course she does; she was angry that she didn’t get my number before I left. So I told her to tell Mint I’ll be back later in the evening.

That night we went back and there they were, the girls from before, just sitting waiting for us, smiling as we walked over.

We only had a couple of drinks, then Mint asked if I could barfine her and we go somewhere else. After checking with my cousin what a barfine was, I paid it, and me and Mint headed out on our own.

Spending the Holiday With Mint

She took me around some bars to meet her friends, then for some street food, and then onto Bangla Road where we bar hopped down until we were ready to call it a night back at the hotel.

From that night on, she didn’t really leave and stayed with me for the whole holiday.

Before I go on, I spoke to my cousin about me spending the upcoming days with Mint and he was absolutely fine with it. He knew I wanted to see more than just the nightlife; he could see I was happy and relaxed for a change, and he’s more than happy to be going out every night talking to different girls, so it’s not like I just left him to fend for himself.

After I had that chat with him, Mint was pretty much by my side all day every day. We rented a bike and went on little trips together. I think I only stayed in the hotel for like 3 nights during my whole trip, as we’d end up staying somewhere else wherever we were.

We went to visit temples; she taught me how to pray and all that; went to the beaches; went shopping with me spoiling her; she introduced me to a few more of her friends; and some nights we would meet up with my cousin wherever he was and just drink and have fun.

We’d chat about our lives, and I would tell her about things back home. She told me how she wanted to open her own shop or small restaurant one day. She also mentioned her son too said he was 6 and lived with her mum.

The Cost of a Holiday Girlfriend

It was great, honestly. I haven’t felt that alive in so long. Just everything about her made me feel happy; my worries and life back home had vanished, even though it was temporary.

She really looked after me as well. Thai women are so good when it comes to that. She did the laundry, would go out to pick food up when we stayed home, she’d go to 7 Eleven for us. She really was caring, fun, and exciting all rolled into one.

Now let’s talk about money and how much I gave her.

I had to pay the barfine every night, which was around 500 baht per night. I gave her around 1500 baht per day, and I’d pay for our food, trips, and everything else. I also would buy her little things when we went shopping.

It added up quick, but I didn’t really care at the time. We were having fun, she was always smiling, and it just felt good to be around her. It wasn’t about the money; it was about finally feeling relaxed and enjoying myself for once.

In my opinion, the fun I had with her, the traveling around, and everything she did for me, it was worth every penny. I felt like I was the one that was getting a good deal, not her.

Catching Feelings for Mint

Now that part of the story is out of the way, shall we get into me messing everything up? Me ruining the whole holiday girlfriend experience.

The part where it all went wrong is when I started to get feelings for her and convinced myself that this is more than a paid holiday experience.

I could feel myself getting attached and I really did not want this to end. I had enjoyed every moment with Mint, and I was hoping we could be more than what we were, which in reality, we weren’t anything.

When the last day arrived, I felt really terrible. Not a single part of me wanted to leave; I just wanted to carry this on and see where it would end up.

It didn’t feel right leaving. Everything back home felt heavy again just thinking about it, and all I wanted was one more day of this easy, happy life with her. Even saying goodbye felt like I was cutting off something I wasn’t ready to lose.

Thailand was meant to be just a trip for me to get away from everything back home. I planned on meeting someone, yes, but I never planned on catching feelings for anyone.

Losing My Father

Mint made me promise to try and come back as soon as I could. We promised to keep in contact with each other.

When I got back home, things had gotten worse with my father, and not long after, he sadly passed away.

The weeks that followed, I was just in a trance. Nothing was making sense, and I was left trying to sort everything out: the will, the funeral, everything. I was just trying to keep it together but could feel myself falling apart again.

Once I started settling down a bit, I messaged Mint, explaining what had happened to my father and why I have been a bit distant and not messaging her.

She felt sorry for me and said that she thought I had met someone else, that’s why I wasn’t messaging. She told me she misses me and wishes she could be with me while I was going through all of this.

Is it sad that I still have those messages saved?

Mint Helped Me Through Grief

The more we spoke, the more she helped me through all of this, and to be honest, I’m still very grateful that she was there for me during this time, because I quite easily could have broken if it wasn’t for her helping pick me up all the time.

Every night she’d check in, ask if I’d eaten, tell me to get some rest. It was simple stuff but having her voice there gave me something to look forward to again.

The problem with her messages was that she would say things that would give me hope that something could happen between us, and she always sounded like she wanted something to happen as well.

She’d call me on video most nights after she finished at the bar, sent me random sweet loving messages, and selfies.

I’d tell her about my plans too how I wanted to get back to Thailand, maybe stay a bit longer next time.

She’d always say she couldn’t wait to see me again, and I actually believed she meant it.

Planning My Return to Thailand

She sounded like she wanted something to happen between us too, like someone who genuinely cared. It didn’t feel like one of those short bar flings you hear about.

About 3 months after being back home again, we arranged that I would come back out to see her for a month.

I told my cousin that I would be going again and the reason I was going. This time, he wasn’t so supportive of me going.

He warned me that Thai girls are good for while you are there, but as soon as you leave, they will have been onto the next guy, that I should just block her and enjoy the time I had with her.

I just laughed and told him he was being dramatic. I wasn’t ready to believe she was like that.

He told me that she doesn’t really care for me, that she is playing the long game and will eventually start asking me for money. He said I wouldn’t be the only guy she is telling all these sweet things to.

Warning Signs About Mint

I really should have listened to him, but being caught up in it all, I still wanted to go along with it and see if I was one of the success stories you hear about.

Then, when we were planning my next trip there, she told me that she has quit the bar and is going back to her hometown in Isan.

She told me that she quit because she doesn’t like the work, customers, and the other girls she works with. She said that it would be better for us if she didn’t work at the bar as well.

See, it’s little things like that that she said that convinced me we could be something serious, that she really doesn’t want to work at the bar.

So I asked her about the plans for me and her and what happens next, to which she said that she will come back to Phuket again to see me once I go there.

A couple of weeks later, Mint moved to Pattaya and started working at a different bar with her other friend. At first, everything seemed fine. She was still messaging me often, still sending little photos and videos of her day, just like before. But then, slowly, things started to change.

When Mint Stopped Replying

Her texts got shorter and less frequent. The late-night video calls stopped. When we did speak, she’d rush the conversation or seem distracted, like her mind was somewhere else. I could tell something wasn’t right. I asked her a few times if anything was wrong, but she just said everything was okay and that she was busy with work.

And then, just like that, the messages stopped completely. Calls went unanswered; she was not replying to my texts. I tried again and again, but nothing.

I even got my cousin to reach out to her other friend in Phuket, who we had met at the bar with Mint, to see if she’d heard from her, but she said she hadn’t seen or spoken to Mint since she left the bar.

It should have made sense—she’s a bargirl, after all—but at the time I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

Just weeks earlier, everything had seemed perfect, and now it was silence.

A few months after that, and many times trying to reach out to her, I just accepted the fact that she met someone else and wasn’t going to come back into my life.

Returning to Phuket

It wasn’t a nice feeling, but I should have known better and stuck to a holiday girlfriend. But lesson learnt, I guess. At least I didn’t lose money, just feelings.

The following summer, my cousin was planning on going back to Phuket for 2 weeks and asked if I wanted to join him. I thought, what the hell, maybe I can find another girlfriend experience, but this time do it the right way.

Leave any and all feelings at the door; as soon as I leave, then that’s it. No keeping in contact and no convincing myself that this is anything other than just a fun holiday.

Then, as if this Mint girl had psychic powers, she randomly text me saying that she’s sorry she hasn’t been in touch, she had some family problems and will be back in Phuket again working. It just so happens that she will be back on the date I was meant to be going back.

What I think happened is that my cousin messaged Mint’s friend telling her that we would be back again soon, and she told Mint I would be coming back.

I didn’t reply straight away. I left it a few days before answering, trying to figure out what to even say. When I finally messaged her back, I just said something like I hope everything is fine and going good for you.

Chasing Mint Again

We didn’t talk long and I didn’t keep the conversation going. I never actually told her I’d be going back to Phuket and didn’t make any plans with her.

When we got back to Phuket, my cousin wanted to go to the same bar where we met Mint and her friend, because he wanted to have fun with her friend again.

When we got there, her friend was there, but Mint wasn’t.

I asked her friend and the cashier where Mint was, and they said that she is working at a different bar a few streets away. When I asked why she doesn’t work here anymore, they said that she isn’t a good person, that she lies and steals and can’t be trusted.

I know that girls like to gossip, so I didn’t really pay much attention or dig further into what Mint may have done for them to say that. Either way, I decided not to let it bother me. I’d see for myself if I ever saw Mint again.

And to the surprise of nobody, the very next day, I went to Mint’s new bar just to see her. So much for not chasing her and playing it cool.

The Second Holiday Felt Different

And just like last time, we were together again pretty much every day and every night, though this time, it did not feel the same. Something was different.

You could tell by the way she acted that something wasn’t right. Don’t get me wrong, she was still nice and doing everything with me, but the spark, so to speak, wasn’t there like it was last time.

It was like she had something on her mind all the time, like she wanted to be somewhere else and just putting up with me for the sake of it, even though it was her choice to be spending the days with me.

We still went out, did a few of the same things we’d done before beaches, restaurants, bars. It was good, just not the same.

Once again, it was time to head home and say goodbye to Mint.

She came to see us off at the airport again, giving me a hug and a kiss and telling me to stay in touch again. I made her promise not to disappear on me again, to tell me if something is wrong, not to just ignore me.

Planning Another Trip Together

Once I got back home, we did carry on speaking, and for a while, things were actually pretty good and back to normal.

Constant messages, video calls, I miss you text messages, and she even told me she loved me. Again, I got the stupid idea that we could be more than what we are.

We started to plan another trip together. This time it would be just me and her, and we would go somewhere else other than Phuket. Maybe Chiang Mai or something more laid back.

While we were chatting, Mint left the bar again and went back to Isan. She told me she had to help out with her son as her family was getting fed up with no help or something like that.

Not long after her being home, she asked me if I could help out and send her a bit of money, because she was waiting for a payment that hadn’t gone through yet.

I did not like the idea of sending her money, but at the same time, I did not want to lose contact with her again like last time, so I asked how much and she said 15,000 baht.

The Money Requests Continue

When I asked what she needed that for, she said it was just to help out with the family and her son.

I did get my cousin’s opinion. I told him that Mint was asking if I would send her some money to help her out. He promised me that it was 100% a scam and that if I send it, she will ask for more soon.

Against his advice and my own thoughts, I transferred her 15,000 baht, but told her that money was tight because I wanted to save as much as I can for me and her to do a bit of traveling together next trip.

She said she understood, but only a week later, she asked for 20,000 so she could get a bike, as now she needed transport to take her son and family wherever they needed to go.

This time, I listened to my cousin and my doubt. I told her straight that I can’t send anymore and if she can wait until I am there, then I can help when I can.

When I told her I am not sending her anymore money, she went silent again, completely. Messages went unreplied again, and she never answered the video calls.

Finding Mints Instagram Profile

This went on for a week. I heard absolutely nothing from her again, and like an idiot, I was back to chasing her and trying to figure out where she is and what she is doing.

After a while, I got frustrated and messaged her saying I was done with all the games. I told her that if she kept ignoring me, I’d cancel our plans and move on. Still nothing. Not a single reply.

For the second time, it was over again, and I was back to getting her out of my head. But this time, I didn’t even want to chase her. I could clearly see now that she was just trying to get money out of me and that was it.

She didn’t have any long term goals with me like I did with her; it would be a constant headache and an expensive lesson if I carried on chasing that fantasy.

About a week later, my cousin messages me and sends me a link to an Instagram profile. He said his girl in Phuket told him I need to look at it; it will help you forget about Mint.

I clicked on the profile and I saw that it was Mint’s page. There were photos and videos of her with another foreign guy.

Finding Mints Wedding

At first, I thought it had to be old pictures or maybe just some random customer from the bar, but then I saw the dates and the captions. It was all recent, all real.

Not just selfies or cute pictures either. These were wedding photos.

I felt sick. Like properly sick. She’d married someone else, another foreigner, and hadn’t said a word to me. The posts were only a week old. I couldn’t believe it.

It looks like she had asked me for money just as they were about to get married, so if I had ended up sending her money, I would have been the one paying towards their marriage. That just sickens me.

I scrolled through her account and pictures; it looked like they had an on-and-off relationship for a while now, long before she had met me.

I messaged my cousin right away, told him that I should have listened to him and that he was right; she was playing me all along. He just said he was sorry and hoped I wasn’t too upset. But I was more than I’d ever admit.

Returning to the Old Bar

After the first time I met her and she vanished and apparently went back home, according to her pictures she was in Pattaya with this other guy, so it all lined up perfectly. Every time she’d gone quiet, she’d been with him.

I messaged her one last time and told her what I’d seen. I said she was a liar and a scammer. She didn’t even bother replying. Just blocked me and vanished again.

The moment I had nothing to give and told her that I wouldn’t be sending money, she was done. I sat there feeling angry, embarrassed, and stupid all at once.

I should’ve known right then what she was really about, but I kept trying to make excuses for her in my head.

I had been warned by my cousin and even Mint’s friends not to trust her, but stupidly, I thought I knew best and didn’t listen.

When I went back to Thailand, I stopped by the old bar in Phuket and caught up with Mint’s friend and the cashier.

Learning the Truth About Mint

They gave me that look straight away, like they already knew what had happened and knew what questions I was about to ask.

This time, they didn’t hold back. They told me everything. Turns out, Mint had been seeing this guy for a couple of years; it was her boyfriend, and they had always planned to get married once they can afford it.

I just sat there listening, letting it all sink in. None of it surprised me at that point, but hearing it confirmed still didn’t make me feel any less stupid.

Mint meets guys at the bar and online, convinces them that she is in a relationship with them, and eventually starts asking them for money. Apparently, her husband knows about it, because all the money she makes from her little scheme, they would save and put it towards them being together in the future.

It’s crazy how they both played their parts so well—she acted like the caring girlfriend, and he sat back waiting for the payout.

He probably thinks he’s got a loyal wife; that they will scam together. But a woman like her, she could quite easily turn around and leave the guy if something better comes along with more money.

Falling in Love With Thailand

I guess that’s just how it goes out there—everyone’s chasing something, and sometimes you end up being part of someone else’s game without even knowing it.

That’s my first Thailand experience for you guys. Although it was a bad one, I didn’t lose much money. On the plus side, I fell in love with Thailand and can’t wait for my next trip again. Cheers.