The Bar Girl Named “Crazy”

This story took place a few years ago after six or seven trips to Thailand the first three to Phuket and the third and fourth to Pattaya. I mainly hung around and stayed around the Soi Buakhao and LK Metro area but moved around most of Pattaya during my nights out.

I spent some time at Boomerang Bar and had become friendly with a few of the bar girls. Spent some time with a few of them. They all knew I was a “helicopter man” (someone who visits but doesn’t commit to one girl). All have long since moved on by this stage. One of those I’m still occasionally in contact with, and they both seem to be happily married and settled down somewhere abroad.

One night I had been down to Walking Street and had a lot of fun enjoying the go go bars, shows, and lots of drinks with many nice ladies. I had consistently made the decision before going out to spend my daily entertainment budget on drinks, fun shows, and not pick up a lady.

At the end of the night at about 3:00 or 4:00 a.m., I caught a baht bus back to Soi Diana and stumbled down. I decided to go into Boomerang Bar for one last drink before heading back to my hotel on Soi Boomerang. Boomerang was pretty quiet with barely anybody in there. I ended up sitting on one corner chatting to an older waitress not unattractive, at least in my state at the time and she was putting the moves on me.

I was firmly not interested and told her so. I wavered a little when she said she would come long time for 500 baht no bar fine as it was so late. I decided against it and offered her an extra lady drink instead.

Shortly later, she started arguing with me. The mamasan I knew her a little, and she was friends with the ladies I had bar fined in there before and I suspect she may have been trying to warn off the girl. Momo was the girl’s name. It started to get very heated, with the girls each throwing things. So, in spite of my better judgment, I quickly paid the bill and dragged Momo out of the bar.

The 7 Eleven Incident

We went to the Family Mart at the end of Soi Buakhao the end of LK Metro. Momo tried it on, buying a bunch of food, beer, and snacks, etc. As it did not amount to much money, I let it go. After about 20 minutes, when we got to the cashier, despite four of them being stood there, none of them wanted to serve us. The one that was leaning on the till did not even look up from her phone for about 5 minutes.

I could see Momo getting more and more angry, and she eventually said something in Thai. The girl’s response seemed very rude, but I could not understand it. Momo went to jump over the counter, and I had to pull her back down and basically carry her out of the convenience store. She had thrown the bag of stuff at the teller, including smashing the large bottle of beer. So we now had nothing.

We still needed supplies for the night, so we went into the next Family Mart or maybe it was a 7 Eleven at the corner of Soi Honey. Again, 10 minutes of shopping, and we got to the counter. One of the girls said something to the other, pointed at me, then Momo, and sniggered. I could see Momo was about to charge this one too, and wrestled her out the door and told her to stay there, then went back in and paid for the stuff.

We started to head back to my hotel. She was very angry and yelling and had me wondering what the hell I was doing. After we got back about halfway as I was ready to tell her to take a hike she was still very angry with both girls, but very thankful for me for taking care of her and stopping her from getting into trouble.

The Knife in the Safe

Now starting to quieten down, she changed into another person completely affectionate and complimentary. Once we got back to the room, she got excited again and was ranting, making me wonder what I was in for. When she went to the shower, I made sure the balcony door and windows were locked. The room had a kitchen, so I put the sharp knives in the safe.

As it turned out, we had a fantastic night of aerobics, which surprised me. There was also a lot of affection coming from her side. One thing I didn’t mention: she was quite a bit older than a lot of the girls that work in the bar. But a plus side of that is they are often very experienced in the bedroom department and it showed on this night.

When she was looking around the kitchen in the morning, she noticed there were no knives. I admitted that I was a little panicked by her behavior in the 7 Eleven and had locked them all away in the safe. Her next words were with a cheeky grin: “Don’t worry, I’ve got my own.” She then produced a knife which must have been 20 cm long. She gave a little chuckle and put it back in her bag. She said, “That’s just for protection. There’s some crazy people come here.”

I visited Pattaya about six times after this trip, and surprisingly we got on really well. She was a little older and didn’t leave I didn’t leave her stranded at the 7 Eleven. I think deep down she appreciated that, and she treated me very kindly on every trip. After that, I never again experienced that crazy night with her. She was always very decently behaved.

By the way, her nickname Momo means “crazy.”

This might not be the most exciting story in the world, but I thought I would share it with you because it just goes to show: you go to Pattaya for a quick holiday, a good time, and have a holiday girlfriend or two. You never know what you’ll end up with in your room. So it’s always better to err on the side of caution.

Story Two: The Old Fool Who Fell for Tan A Cautionary Tale of Manipulation

“Hi, Peter. I’ve heard over and over again about how people, mostly men, who travel to Thailand, the land of smiles, searching for love, readily fall into the honeymoon trap that is openly waiting for them in almost every entertainment venue. Of course, this would never happen to me.”

I have watched many Thailand Bound videos and always marveled at how the women of Thailand manipulated men to increase their own and their family’s bank balance. I knew that this could never happen to me as I had read all about the tactics they use to extract funds from the unwary.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone I know that these mostly very young women that work in the bar send a large portion of the money they earn back to their families to pay for their needs and wants. I am just saying that I felt like I was bulletproof when it came to being manipulated by anyone.

But of course, there is no fool like an old fool.

The Backstory

I myself am married, but we have come to the point where we lead separate lives. My wife and I are more like best friends. For the last 10 years, we have not slept together in the same room. I guess it is a companionship relationship as opposed to a physical one. It suits us both. I am almost 70. She is in her mid 60s.

I’m not looking to move on, and neither is she. However, she likes nothing more than to stay home and potter around in the garden or chat on the phone to her girlfriends back in Thailand, whereas I love to have adventures, go camping, play golf, race go karts, ride my motorcycle, and party with my friends at least once a month.

The Golf Trip

Recently, I traveled to Thailand with a group of buddies for a golf tour, which for me was a dream trip of a lifetime. Just four retired men without their wives or partners, basing themselves in Pattaya to play golf at the luxurious courses not far from the tourist mecca.

I like to play pool and drink a couple of beers at a bar at the end of Soi 8 when in Pattaya. I know the ladies by name, and I have been going there for about 10 years off and on. They know that I’m not there for any aerobics. They have met my wife several times. I just like someone to play pool with.

One night, Dave, the oldest amongst us, suggested that we try Soi 6, as we heard it was very popular. I had never been there, so I thought it would be fun to find out what it was like.

When we eventually arrived, we started to walk down Soi 6 towards the beach. But we soon realized that we would have to walk single file as the bar girls only left a small space to walk between them as they lined the street from the bars on both sides of the soi. I guess people that have been to Soi 6 would know exactly what I’m talking about. But if you haven’t been there, you will never imagine what it is like in your wildest dreams. Scores of beautiful young women in multitudes of colorful and very brief costumes which left very little to the imagination.

Meeting Tan

As it happened, I was dragged into one bar by a gorgeous lady whilst my friends kept walking. I managed to find my way to a bar that was full of perhaps the most gorgeous ladies in the whole of the soi. A young woman named Tan quickly held my wrist and pulled me in next to my buddies. She looked at me with blue eyes she wore colored contact lenses that seemed to draw me into her inner self.

Tan spoke the best English, and she was quite often translating for the other girls who were having difficulty with our Australian accents and use of slang. We stayed at the bar very late. My friends left before me because I found I could not tear myself away from Tan. She had a cute face, was 27 years old, had a sweet voice and a nice body.

She said to me, “Don’t talk about boom boom or I will leave you.” I wasn’t actually thinking about aerobics. I just was enjoying her company, believe it or not.

Around 2:00 a.m., Tan said the bar would close soon. So I paid my bill of 4,500 baht and gave a 500 baht tip to her. Inside, I was buzzing to think that a gorgeous young woman would actually want to spend time with an old guy like me. Of course, I knew it was her job and she was making money, but she made me feel so special and attractive that I fooled myself into believing that she actually liked me and just maybe there was life in this old dog yet.

The Second Night

The next evening, we headed once again to Soi 6. I looked and saw Tan once again. She seemed shocked to see me, so I was unsure what she was actually thinking. However, the girl soon grabbed us by our arms and ushered us into the bar. Tan came to me and without asking bought me my usual beer and her vodka lime and soda.

The night progressed much the same as it had previously, with lots of drinks and shots flowing and bills growing larger by the minute. Tan suggested to me that we should go to Walking Street later with her girlfriend after the bar closed. So we did that. We went to a few nightclubs and bars in Walking Street, drinking, singing, and dancing. It was the most fun I had had for years and years.

At my age, I’m usually in bed by 10 p.m., but here I was going at 3:00 a.m. Around 3:30, Tan said that she would come back to my hotel if I wanted her to. I was fairly “brammed and enlisted” as my father used to say in other words, quite drunk. I agreed.

Once up in the room, I told Tan that I would have a shower first. She looked a bit embarrassed, so I didn’t ask her to join me. I put on a bathrobe and casually walked into the bedroom only to find Tan fast asleep and mostly hidden under the blanket. I sort of felt relieved as I had not been with another woman for roughly 10 years.

The next morning at around 7:00 a.m., I woke next to this beautiful lady fast asleep in my bed. She must have sensed I was awake, and she reached down for my undercarriage which woke up very quickly. We enjoyed a session of aerobics. Afterwards she had a shower, got dressed, and started walking to the door. She did not ask for money, but I gave her 2,000 baht as that was all that was in my wallet.

Breaking the 3 Day Rule

The rest of the day was spent with my buddies around the pool. But my mind was focusing on Tan on Soi 6, not the conversation at hand. At around 9:30 p.m., we once again went to the same bar, and Tan was waiting there but she looked not happy with me. She asked why I was so late, and I told her that I didn’t know that I was meant to come earlier. She told me that she had just turned down another man because of me. I actually saw the guy walking out of the bar with a disgusted look upon his face.

Well, the evening progressed as per normal. Lots of drinks and a huge bill at the end of the night. Tan asked if she could come back to my hotel, and I immediately agreed. As you may have guessed by now, I couldn’t resist the charms of Tan. She was witty, cute, and very intelligent, but most of all, she was keen on me. There were no misgivings this time, and I can honestly say I had the most wonderful session of aerobics for many a long year.

I had broken the 3 day rule, but I couldn’t stop myself from seeing Tan as much as I possibly could for the rest of the short holiday. I was thinking about her every waking moment, even when I was supposed to be playing golf.

The Aftermath

Soon, our holiday came to an end, and we had to return to Australia. Over the next 5 months, I kept in touch with Tan via WhatsApp, and on several occasions, I sent her 5,000 baht to help with expenses. In total, I sent her about $1,000.

In August, I went back to Bangkok to see her. I had the most wonderful time of my life eating and sleeping together as well as getting massages during the day. During the massage, Tan who is 27 but looks younger was teased by the massage lady who said, “Your boyfriend looks very old.” Tan quickly replied, “Yes, he is old, but he has lots of power.”

But on the day I had to leave, she wanted me to buy her a gold ring, which basically took the last of my money. I was so in love by this time that I could not resist her, and so we went to a jewelry shop to buy the ring. I then fully understood why the 3 day rule should not be broken, and I knew then how so many men have fallen into this trap woven by the bar girls of Thailand.

The Brutal Truth

Later on, we traveled to the airport and found a place to get a meal. And to my surprise, Tan became very serious and asked me to listen carefully to her. She said that she loved me, but it was too late for us. She wanted to get married and have children by the time she was 30 years old, and she could not do that with me as I was already too old. She also told me that she would meet with a single man from England in September, and she was hoping he would marry her.

Tan was being brutally honest with me. It was tough for me to take. I felt like dying for a moment, but then I realized she was doing the right thing by me. She was cutting me off from her in a hard but in the best way possible. No lies just a quick, sharp cut. We said our goodbyes, and then I headed off through customs.

Once back in Australia, I was depressed for about a week or so, but have begun to bounce back lately, trying to take some positives from the experience with a Thai bar girl.

I would say that I have found out firsthand how easy it is for anyone to be manipulated by the bar girls of Thailand. But, you know, I would do it all again because of the sheer joy I experienced when I was with Tan. She made me feel 40 years younger. I still have very strong feelings for her, and if she asked me to go and see her again, I would think very seriously about it.

The saying goes, there’s no fool like an old fool. And I guess that’s true. But to be honest, I don’t care what people think anymore.

Story Three: A Neighbor’s Wedding, a Garden Barbecue, and a Realization

“This story starts in the late ’90s whilst I was still at school. We had a neighbor who was an interesting man in the sense that he liked his cars and had his own small engineering workshop. Then out of the blue one day, we had an invite to a wedding reception held at his house.”

At the time we didn’t realize he had even a partner. Anyway, as it turned out, it was a lady he had met on holiday in Thailand. So here we all were after the wedding at his house, sat across the room from a whole family flown over for the wedding, not able in the slightest to communicate with each other we just exchanged smiles and nods.

As a 14 year old schoolboy, I really struggled to understand the appeal and logic to all of this and found it all quite bizarre that somebody would marry someone from halfway across the world who didn’t speak a word of English. Nonetheless, they seemed happy enough, and that was that.

The Barbecue Years Later

Moving forward a few years, and now in my early 20s, I was invited round to discuss a potential job at his company. We were sat in the dining room, and his wife Le appeared at the door holding a small white dog. She asked if we would like a drink and then came back with two Chang beers, placing them on little paper napkins. It seemed as if she was a paid member of staff who lived in the house and not a wife. I had never seen anyone act in this way before.

Fast forward a few years still, and now aged around 30, I was invited to a goodbye barbecue as they had both now reached retirement age and had decided to sell up and move somewhere up north but remain in the UK. I suppose this is a day that really got my mind thinking about what the whole fascination was with Thailand and Thai women.

I was probably first to the barbecue that day and sat in the garden. You could see down the driveway as each of the other guests arrived. I quickly saw a pattern emerge as each of the guests had one thing in common their wife was from Thailand.

The Education

With everybody there and in good spirits with the beer flowing, I was given a hard and fast education as to all things Thailand. They were very honest about their own personal stories and experiences from one man meeting his wife while on his own honeymoon 20 years ago, to another going away on business and reminiscing how he had a girl under each arm watching the TV in the sunshine, saying he never wanted it to end.

I was told that if I ever went to Thailand, don’t do what he did and marry a girl from a bar. I wrongly assumed they meant the profession was not good enough in their eyes like a barmaid in the UK. And so I argued that it didn’t matter what job they had as long as people respected each other. They had to somehow explain what the bar girls did for money. Not easy when all their wives were looking over.

All in all, it was a brilliant day. And to see all those absolutely stunning women cooking up fantastic food and special drinks was great. These girls were really entertaining and funny. I suppose a realization then came as to why a trip halfway around the world and the effort was worth it. From what I had seen on that day at least, it only took me 15 or so years to work it out.

I’ve never been to Thailand, but I intended to go this year in October. Unfortunately, very recently, my partner and I have separated, and she feels taking the children on my own would be unsafe on a holiday. Perhaps I should go alone. I think I could change the activity program if I did.