A Fresh Start in Thailand and the Lessons That Followed In Thermae Cafe

A Fresh Start in Bangkok After Difficult Times

This trip to Bangkok was my first proper visit there, having only flown in and out of the city with a girlfriend in February 2014. There was civil unrest there at the time and we only spent a few hours there before hurriedly leaving on a 3 week tour of Cambodia, Laos, and northern Thailand.

This time though, I was traveling by myself on a journey that also took me to the United Arab Emirates, Vietnam, Australia, New Zealand, and the Philippines. I’d originally planned on going to the Southeast Asia section of my trip with a mate of mine who owns his own business, but due to unexpectedly heavy workload, he had to cancel his plans to come with me with only a week to go before we were due to leave.

This was a shame as it’s always good to have some company when traveling. But I’m happy to go on holiday by myself, so it didn’t stop me from having a great time. And as it turned out, I wasn’t alone for very long.

I’d done some research on where to stay when I arrived in Bangkok. And I made a point of booking a room right in the middle of Sukhumvit Road near Soi 15. I’d seen a few videos on YouTube of scores of young women chatting with men inside the Thermae Cafe, which is conveniently located under the hotel. I thought that this would be the best location I could possibly hope for, and I was not disappointed because it all worked out perfectly for me.

I’d arrived at Bangkok on an early morning flight from Dubai and was collected from the airport by a pre booked taxi. I went straight to my hotel, but it was too early for me to check in. However, the hotel staff were happy for me to leave my luggage there, and I just took a small bag with me as I wandered around the local area, taking in the sights, doing some shopping for toiletries, buying some healthy snacks to have in my room, along with some beer and a small bottle of Jack Daniel’s whiskey, and having a nice lunch in the air conditioned shopping center nearby.

I was surprised at how much the food had cost at the restaurant, but I put that down to it being the inside of a new mall and they must be catering for the affluent Japanese and Chinese tourists that I saw walking around. I’d not been in Thailand for over a decade and I recall thinking at the time that the food was cheap, so I guess that Thailand’s modernization has its consequences.

Checking In and Returning to a Bangkok Rooftop Pool

I then went back to my hotel at 2 p.m. to check in. After that, I took a quick shower and then went up a flight of steps to take a relaxing dip in the rooftop swimming pool. I remember looking around the swimming pool when I got there and seeing that I was the only person there. This was great because I couldn’t stop grinning to myself and thinking that after what seemed like a very long time, I was finally back in Thailand.

With my spirits high, I had not slept since I had left the UK around 48 hours earlier. So, even though I was in a great mood, I wasn’t feeling very energetic. Half an hour of swimming was more than enough for me, and I almost fell asleep whilst I was sunbathing. However, I wasn’t going to allow my sleep deprivation to get in the way of meeting some very attractive women that evening.

A Painful Divorce and 16 Quiet Years

Talking of women, part of my backstory is I’d gone through a very traumatic divorce from a woman who had seemed to enjoy being unnecessarily cruel and malicious towards me. Consequently, I’ve deliberately led a very quiet life for the last 16 years, and I’ve concentrated on being the best dad I can be to my two daughters who have both been living with me for the last decade.

I felt that women in the UK were simply too much trouble for very little reward, and I was content to just not bother with the dating scene at all. Up to that night, I’d not had aerobics for many years.

As you can imagine, now that I was on holiday abroad and without my daughters being with me for the first time in a very long time, I really felt like I’d been let off the lead, and I was really looking forward to getting to know some of the locals over the next few days.

Part 2: The First Night in Bangkok and Meeting May

I’m not much of a drinker, so I decided that the Thermae Cafe would be the only place I’d frequent while in Bangkok. I’m saving those locations for when I come back to Bangkok in a year or two with a couple of my friends when it will be more fun to walk the streets and pop into all the different bars to watch the girls dancing.

Once it was time to start preparing for the night’s activities, I set my room up going to the effort of creating room lighting, having expensive scented candles bought from the local mall that morning on the go, along with soft music from the radio. Might seem like way too much effort to go to, but I can assure you it was appreciated by each of the women who spent time there. And they all made nice comments to me about how inviting my room looked.

I know that spending a short time with an attractive young woman isn’t the start of some amazingly long term romantic relationship, but there’s no harm in showing some courtesy and appreciation for them as fellow human beings. After all, most men know how long it will take an average looking woman to get ready for a night out. And these women are for the most part well above average women in terms of their looks.

After I was happy that my room looked inviting, I then spent about half an hour getting myself ready to go out, and I dressed to impress. Over the years, I’ve taken a keen interest in watching and reading about how people interact with one another. And I know that most people will unconsciously decide whether they like someone or not within just a few seconds of meeting them.

It might sound strange that I was going to all this effort as these types of situations aren’t really what you could call a regular date, but I’m happy to say that this approach worked consistently well for me as the women all seemed to appreciate the effort I’d gone to. I’ve been told by women that I’m still an attractive guy. And even though I have an average physique for my age, I was pretty sure that having the confidence to approach any of the women in the cafe would help to offset my age.

The 2,500 Baht Offer at Thermae Cafe

I took the lift down to the foyer and as I walked out of the front door to the hotel, I saw an absolutely stunning young woman walking towards the steps that led down into the cafe. I quickly skipped down the steps of my hotel to catch up with her. And as I followed her inside, I was ushered over to the bar to buy myself a drink while she was paying her 50 baht fee to be allowed to visit the cafe.

Within around 45 seconds of me walking into the cafe, I’d walked over to her with a beer in my hand and said “Sawadee khrap” to her. She politely replied. And I asked her if she spoke English. She said the usual phrase “a little,” which is sometimes code for “yes, I do speak English quite well, but I’d rather that you think I haven’t been doing this line of work very long, so I’ll pretend that I’m new to it.”

It was at this point that I decided to try out a theory that I’d been thinking about for the last few hours. I’m going to risk being called a cheap Charlie at this point, and it’s a fair point. The background to my theory was that earlier that day, I’d managed to buy an apparently brand new pair of genuine wraparound Ray Ban sunglasses from a street vendor for the equivalent of just over 250 baht, simply by halving whatever price he first gave me and working up from there.

I was curious to see if the approach I took with the sunglasses salesman might also work inside the cafe this evening. After all, this is a service industry, and the women were all perfectly able to raise or lower their service fee depending on the circumstances.

I told the woman I was talking to, whose name was May, that I had a room upstairs and wondered if she’d be happy to spend a short time up there with me for 2,500 baht. She raised her hand to point to the ceiling and asked me, “Upstairs at this hotel?” To which I said, “Yes.” To my absolute delight, she accepted my offer without any further questions.

I understand that 3,000 to 4,000 is what they often ask for. So whether it is my boyish charm, the effort I’d gone to with my appearance, my confidence in going straight over to her, or simply because she needed the money, I’ll never know. But within 90 seconds of arriving at the cafe, I was walking back to my room with a real beauty.

The Evening with May After Leaving Thermae Cafe

She turned out to be great company, and after dropping her ID card off at the reception, we chatted and laughed as we took the lift upstairs. When we reached my room, May was pleasantly surprised that my room had a nice ambience to it, and it wasn’t long before we were showering together my second shower within about half an hour and we then spent a very happy couple of hours in bed.

Before she left, I asked her if she was going to be free to see me the next afternoon. I offered to pay her to keep me company for a shorter time, and then if she wanted to, we could cool off with a dip in the swimming pool on the roof. She gave me her WhatsApp information, and I asked her to come to the hotel at 5:00 p.m., which she said she would do.

Part 3: May Does Not Arrive and a Bangkok Disaster

When I first came to Thailand 17 years ago, the country wasn’t as developed and everything seemed cheap. But these days, there are new malls springing up and the price of goods and services has risen with them. In some ways, this modernization is very welcome. But I’ve listened to several podcasts lately where the presenters are saying that Thailand has lost its value for money and other Southeast Asian countries offer better value, so tourists should start to go there instead. Naturally, this does not bode well for Thailand because so much of its economy relies on tourism.

By 3:00 p.m., I was walking back into my hotel and in need of a cold shower. After a refreshing shower, I caught up with emails and then spent time on social media with my friends and family for about an hour. At 5:00 p.m., I went downstairs to wait for May. I’m aware that Thai time and real time are two different things, but after half an hour, I messaged her saying that I thought she’d forgotten me with a laughing emoji and to let me know if she was coming over.

Soon after I sent that message, I decided that she had probably got a better offer from another guy, and it was therefore unlikely that she’d be coming over to see me. I went back upstairs to my room, and shortly after that, my second night in Bangkok went badly wrong, and my plans for the evening went straight out the window.

The Bangkok Credit Card Nightmare

I had an unexpected message from my credit card provider saying that they had found what they regarded as suspicious activity on my account a small charge of 100 baht for a new subscription. They didn’t think the transaction was legitimate and asked me if I knew what it was for. Unfortunately, I didn’t recognize the company who had applied for the amount. If I approved them as a legitimate supplier, then I’d be liable for whatever amount they decided to take out of my account. I needed this credit card because I still needed to book flights and hotels for other destinations. So, I spent the next 7 hours that evening trying to call, email, and message everyone that I’d already arranged numerous day trips, hotel bookings, and flights with over the next 5 weeks in case their parent company was the one with a name that I didn’t recognize.

It was at that time that I also discovered that my phone provider had suddenly stopped me being able to make phone calls and send messages because I’d reached the cutoff point for roaming data, which made it even harder for me. I had to involve two family members back in the UK to contact my phone provider for me because I couldn’t even call them myself.

Consequently, it was well past midnight before I concluded that this charge of around 100 baht was a scam and that I’d have to cancel my credit card. As you might imagine, by this time I was feeling too tired and annoyed to look for any female company. Having a credit card or bank card cloned is a disaster when outside one’s home country because they won’t send a new card to another country regardless of how long you’re away.

Sadly, I ended up having to cancel my credit card, so I was down to just one card for the next month, which was far from ideal. Note to self: take at least three cards away with you in case you need to cancel one of them. There’s an old military saying that goes, “Two is one and one is none.” Because if you only have one of something, if there’s a problem with it, then you literally have none.

May’s Late Message After Missing the Meeting

Just as I was about to go to bed, I got a message from May saying simply, “Sorry, I just woke up.” I knew that couldn’t be true, but there’s nothing to be gained by starting an argument with a bar girl, so I just replied, “Oh, you must have been very tired,” with a laughing emoji. “I hope you feel better now.”

She said something about going out to make merit this morning and going to bed late because the shop was closed. As lovely looking as she was, I knew the chances were that she just finished with a client and was wondering if she could pop over to make some more cash from me without having to go back to the cafe.

It was getting late and there probably weren’t many men still there, but I wasn’t going to reward her for ignoring me all day. So, I just told her I was pleased she made merit and glad that she slept well. I didn’t message her again after that because she obviously didn’t value my company very highly, which was probably because other men were prepared to pay her more for her time than I did.

Naturally enough, bar girls and freelancers will always chase whoever pays the most not always who they like the most. They all seem to remember the phrase, “There are no friends in business.”

Part 4: Visiting Bangkok Temples on the Third Day

On my third day in Bangkok, I went out visiting temples and did other touristy things for the day, after which I went for another swim on the rooftop pool as soon as I got back to the hotel. This time there were several other guys there either swimming or sunbathing, but only one couple who looked to be in their 40s.

I had to wonder why a guy would take his wife with him to a hotel that was literally sitting on top of arguably one of the best places in Thailand to meet beautiful women. His wife was an average looking, overweight, middle aged person. And it made me think that his situation must be a bit like being a diabetic who’s just walked into the world’s most exciting sweet shop and knowing that there’s nothing in there that you are allowed to have.

I’d imagine that it must have been very frustrating for him to see so many slim, gorgeous young women being led into the bedrooms of so many average looking middle aged men in our hotel and knowing that he would never ever get to do that because he’d brought his wife with him.

The Laptop Accident at Dubai Airport

Talking of laptops, I had a very unfortunate incident with my laptop whilst I was at Dubai airport preparing to depart for Bangkok where it had fallen off a 4 foot tall counter that I’d very stupidly placed it on whilst I was searching for something in my carry on bag. Remarkably, it landed end on when it hit the floor. And incredibly, the soft packaging in the laptop case that I kept it in is what saved it from being badly damaged.

I’d immediately picked the case up and I was absolutely sure that the fall would have smashed the laptop screen, but to my utter relief, I saw that the only damage was that the metal surround to one of the USB ports had been damaged so much that a USB cable wouldn’t fit in there anymore. But other than that, the laptop was still usable.

Note to self: don’t place valuable items that can be easily destroyed onto high top places and then accidentally knock them off onto the floor.

Part 5: A Third Night at Thermae Cafe

That evening, I made all the same room and personal preparations that I’d made on my first night, and I wandered into the cafe around 9:30 p.m. I have really no idea what the best time is to go because it was 9:00 p.m. when I met May on the first night, and she only just arrived.

This time, when I bought a Jack Daniel’s, I walked around and spoke with a very pretty young woman whose name I don’t remember, who was standing quietly on the left hand side of the room. I tried my usual charm, but she wasn’t interested in going upstairs with me. So, I wished her a good night, and I continued around the cafe.

I noticed what seemed like an older woman looking at me. I’ll say woman, but I wasn’t very sure that she definitely was a woman. May had told me that only Thai women are allowed inside the cafe, but this woman looked to me like she could have been a ladyboy. She was sitting on a chair and as I walked past her, she reached out and touched my arm and quickly said, “I go with you for 2,000 baht. Short time.”

I’m sure she was a lovely person, but ladyboys aren’t my thing. And I didn’t feel like taking a chance with her. So, I politely replied, “Thank you. That’s a good offer, but I’ve just got here, so I’m going to walk around and talk to some other people.” And kept walking.

I felt a little uncomfortable turning her down. But there were so many gorgeous women in the cafe that I’d have kicked myself later if I hadn’t chosen one that I was attracted to. It would also have been very awkward for me if that person had turned out to be a ladyboy. And I really didn’t want to be in that situation. I’ve heard too many horror stories where men have invited a woman back to their room only to find out they’ve actually invited a ladyboy back, and things have become very awkward.

Meeting Bo at Thermae Cafe

I kept walking around and after only a few seconds I saw a slim attractive young woman standing quietly by the S shaped bar. So I walked over and said the traditional Thai greeting. Her name was Bo, and she was happy to accompany me upstairs for a short time for the usual amount.

As I walked out of the front door with Bo, I couldn’t help but notice a gorgeous woman standing to the left of the door in a low cut black dress. Even with so many truly beautiful women in the cafe, this woman stood out as being the best looking one there and as close to my idea of a 10 out of 10 as I’d seen anywhere. Whilst this might sound strange, it wouldn’t surprise me if she wasn’t approached very often, as very beautiful women can be quite intimidating to men.

Bo turned out to be great fun, and her English was good enough that it was easy to talk with her and have a laugh. Now, I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that a woman will enjoy their time with a man much more if she also gets to fully enjoy our time together, as May had done with me the night before. And so, I was strangely surprised when Bo told me that she hadn’t ever been able to do that, not even by herself.

I jokingly said, “I think you might be in the wrong line of work, Bo.” And thankfully she also saw the funny side as she could see the irony of not being able to fully enjoy her chosen career to the same extent that other women do. It was a good experience nonetheless, and we both seemed happy to have spent time together. I asked her for her WhatsApp information so that we could keep in touch.

After she left, I had another shower and then went to bed. Later that afternoon, I sent Bo a message on WhatsApp saying that if she’d like to meet me again, she should reply to me by 8:00 p.m. She never replied to me. And to be fair, I think I’ve only got myself to blame for the lack of enthusiasm the women I’d met so far had for spending time with me after our first encounter because I was offering them less money than they would have made with another guy.

Meeting Pink in the Black Dress

Shortly after 8:00 p.m., I walked out of my hotel and towards the cafe. On the way down the stairs, I passed three absolutely gorgeous looking women leaving with three different men. And I silently cursed myself for not getting there a few minutes earlier because I’d have been delighted to get to know any one of them.

The 10 in the black dress that I’d noticed when walking out with Bo the night before who turned out to be called Pink was standing by the front door again. So, as soon as I’d bought a drink, I walked up to her to start a conversation. She knew that she was arguably the best looking woman in the cafe. And before I could even ask her anything, she stated that if I wanted to spend a short time with her, it would cost 4,000 baht and nothing less.

I quickly did a mental calculation to convert 4,000 baht into UK pound sterling, and it’s over £90 which means that the cost of spending a short time with Pink in Thailand is very nearly the price you’d pay for a lady back in the UK. Perhaps this is why some guys are now complaining that women and for that matter hotel owners and bar owners in Thailand have become too greedy and that everything here is now becoming too expensive.

I countered Pink’s statement by offering her 3,000 baht for a short time, but she politely turned me down. That may well have been her way of telling me that I was definitely not her type, which is of course absolutely her right to say. I said that I hoped she’d have a good night, and I walked away.

Why Men Must Approach Women at Thermae Cafe

Whilst there weren’t as many women there as there had been the previous nights, there were still dozens of gorgeous women waiting to be chatted to. I have to make a comment at this point about the behavior of most of the men in the cafe. I’ve been surprised to see how many men just sit down with their drink and look at some of the most attractive women they’re ever likely to get the chance of meeting and then they don’t make any effort to go over and talk to them. What’s the point in even going there if you don’t go over and say hello? The women there aren’t allowed to approach the men. So, if the men there don’t try to talk to them, nothing will ever happen.

You’d be hard pressed to gently throw a pair of balled up socks in any direction in that cafe without it bouncing off an absolutely stunning looking young woman. So for goodness’ sake, fellas, if you do go there, please don’t hang around. Because if a guy like me happens to be there, then there’s a good chance that he’ll walk out with the very women that you could have walked off with if you hadn’t just sat down and stared at her for the last half an hour.

My attitude is that if I’m going to travel 11 hours on a plane to get somewhere, I’m darn sure that I’ll be taking every opportunity I can to make some amazing memories whilst I’m there.

Meeting Ling, the Pocket Rocket

I slowly walked around for about 20 seconds before I chose to talk with a friendly looking young woman whose name turned out to be Ling. She was around 5’1″ tall and had a slightly fuller figure than the average Thai woman. Although she was still in great shape, she was very friendly, and within just a few seconds she had accepted my offer and I followed her as we walked towards the door.

As we approached the door though, I saw Bo casually walking into the cafe. She saw me and that I was leaving with another woman and she didn’t react at all. I’d given her almost 3 hours to reply to my WhatsApp message, so I didn’t feel bad about not hanging around for her on the off chance that she would turn up.

Once inside my room, Ling turned out to be a real pocket rocket, and was much more passionate and willing than pretty much any of the women I’d ever known in my life. I watched her take in the sights and sounds of Bangkok at night as I dried myself off. She seemed fascinated by all the colorful lights from the various nearby buildings, and it seemed to put her in a very good mood.

Ling loved kissing, and to say that I was totally shocked about how eager she was to spend time with me would be an understatement. However, I’m old enough to know a good thing when I see it. And after we dried ourselves, I was delighted to have a truly amazing aerobic session with her. I’m still grinning like a Cheshire cat as I write this.

She told me afterwards that she lived in a village in the north of Thailand and had come down to Bangkok earlier that day to stay with a friend for a week to earn some money. Apparently, she hadn’t had a boyfriend for a year and had only walked into the cafe for the first time about 10 minutes before I had, which is why she was so happy that I chose her on her first day in the city.

It’s hard to know if this is actually true, but by that point, there wasn’t really a reason for her to lie about anything, as I’d already told her it was my last night in Bangkok. If I’d met her on my first night, I would have seen Ling every night I was there because she was such good fun to be with.

Why Ling Stood Out on My Last Night in Bangkok

Ling is definitely a woman that I wouldn’t easily forget because she had a really attractive positive energy about her that was infectious. She was very happy to cuddle up to me and put her head on my chest whilst we chatted for a while after the aerobics. Most of the women I’ve known in these situations are very business like and won’t hang around any longer than is necessary afterwards. So, it was really nice to find such a warm, friendly, and considerate young woman. I couldn’t have been luckier on my last night in Bangkok.