Italian Man Meets Thai Tinder Match After 9 Years

How They Met On Tinder

I am Italian and I have been living and working abroad in several central European countries for the past 15 years. I recently turned 40 years old and I have never been married. I have no children and until now I had never traveled outside Europe. I have been talking to a Thai woman for 9 years. We matched on Tinder travel mode in 2017 when I selected Thailand. At that time she was 19 and I was 31. She had just moved from northern Thailand to Bangkok to study at university.

However, her family could not afford to support her studies. So after one year she had to leave university and take a job in a shoe shop. Two years later COVID arrived.

A Nine Year Long Distance Connection

The shop closed and she returned to her family in the north where they run a small traditional family shop. After the pandemic, she moved back to Bangkok and started working as an assistant in an aesthetic surgery clinic. She often worked nights and very long hours, sometimes without a day off during the week. I was surprised that she could do this work without a medical background, but she told me the doctor had trained her on Facebook. She regularly posted photos and videos of herself working at the clinic in professional clothes with her colleagues.

And because I knew nothing about Thai laws or regulations, I accepted her explanation. Her Facebook profile also contains many beautiful photos of her dressed nicely, wearing makeup, and visiting attractive places around Thailand with friends. I have never noticed any Western friends on her profile. When we first started talking in 2017, she told me she liked me because I treated her differently from many Western men on Tinder who sent explicit photos and immediately asked her for Jiggy Jiggy. So, for the next 9 years, we stayed in contact even though I never visited Thailand.

During that time, I had other relationships in Europe. Whenever I entered a relationship, she would step back and speak to me only as a friend. And when those relationships ended, she was happy to resume our conversations. I was genuinely surprised that she remained so patient and kind after all those years.

Planning A First Meeting In Thailand

Now, a few years ago, I became single again and wanted to visit Thailand to meet her. She told me her employer would not allow her to take leave during the busy season because the clinic was expanding and needing her. Since I did not want to travel during the rainy season, I suggested bringing her to Europe for a holiday. She said she wanted to visit Switzerland because she had always wanted to see mountains and snow, which she had never experienced in Thailand. And Switzerland is very popular among Thai tourists. Because she only had one week available, I felt it would be expensive to arrange a European visa and flights for such a short trip.

So instead, I suggested we meet in Georgia, which does not require a visa for Thai citizens and also has beautiful mountains. We plan to meet in Istanbul, where she could fly directly from Thailand and then travel together to Georgia. The idea was mine, but I was nervous about spending so much money on someone I had never met. Before I booked her ticket, she asked if I could also buy her a winter coat and mountain clothes for the trip. I felt uncomfortable sending money to someone in another country whom I had never met in person.

So, I decided not to do it. And in the end, the trip was cancelled and we never met. I think she was disappointed because I had first talked about a European trip and then failed to make it happen. After that, she became more distant and stopped replying as often as she used to. We still communicate, but it is not the same as before. Now, a few months ago, she changed jobs and now works as a secretary in another clinic, which she says is much less stressful. I am planning to visit Thailand in November and meet her there for the first time.

What makes me hesitate is that she has never asked me for money, not even when she lost her job during CO and had to return to her family in the north. She has also never told me that she is in a relationship with another man. When I asked why, considering she is young and attractive, she said she finds it difficult to trust people, worries about being cheated on, and would rather explain her feelings when we meet in person.

What To Expect From The Relationship

Over the years, I have noticed some interesting things about her. She appears very simple and innocent. Yet, when I asked her about Thai theater and Thai history after attending a Thai cultural event in Europe, she spoke with impressive knowledge and explained the historical meaning behind the performances. She came across as intelligent and well educated. She enjoys reading and taking courses to improve herself and she seems to be a very active person. I mentioned I might combine my Thailand trip with a visit to Cambodia and she reacted quite strongly.

She did not like the idea of me spending time there alone and became noticeably suspicious. So my question is this. What do you think? What should I realistically expect when I visit Thailand for the first time? I have suggested several times that she consider working in Europe, but she does not seem interested. She appears genuinely happy in Thailand because I have an office job in Europe. I cannot easily move there and I do not want to begin a serious relationship with someone I could only see a few times each year.

Have you ever visited Cambodia or the Philippines? How do they compare with Thailand? I know many expats choose countries such as Thailand to build a new life and find relationships. Many Western men feel lonely and rejected at home. And when they arrive in Thailand and receive attention from younger and attractive women, they sometimes lose their judgment because they are experiencing something they never had before. One final thing, I visited York 2 months ago and it made me wonder whether we may have passed each other in the street without realizing it because York is such a small city.