Sending Money and More Red Flags In Thailand
I am a guy living on the east coast of Canada and have traveled around the world several times and spent time with many women worldwide during my travels. I have been very lucky, I guess, and never met a lady who stole from me or messed with me or gave me any kind of diseases. Most women I have met actually quite like that lifestyle as they get to party and meet all kinds of interesting people, get well paid, and hopefully meet a guy they like. It is way better than working in a factory or some other mundane job as they normally have poor education or of course are single mothers mostly. This lifestyle seems to be the choice for many of them.
Anyway, approximately 20 months ago, I went to do a job in Ghana, West Africa. After coming off the plane in Accra, pretty drunk and tired after traveling 29 hours, I was approached by a woman in arrivals trying to sell me a SIM card. We had a good conversation. I asked her to load the card for me, then requested she put her phone number in my phone in case of issues or if I had to refill it. I asked if there was a bar at the airport, and she took me there. I bought a beer for me and a soft drink for her as she did not drink, and we continued chatting for about 45 minutes.
I went to my hotel, then sent her a message asking what time she finished and whether she would like to come to the hotel. I told her to pick up some beer and whatever she wanted. She agreed to come at the end of her shift at 11:00 p.m. She turned up. We chatted for a couple of hours and then had aerobics, which I failed miserably due to the alcohol and fatigue. She stayed the night anyhow. The next morning, I flew to another part of Ghana, and I got her a taxi home. She looked okay, nothing stunning, at 34 years old. Her name was Adma. She had a body to die for.
Trips to Dubai and the Philippines With Adma
When I got situated in Ghana, I called and asked if she would like to come visit for a few days. She agreed, so I bought her a flight. When she arrived, I picked her up from the airport, took her to the hotel, then returned to work. Every evening for 5 days, we went out to dinner, then back to the hotel to hang out at the pool bar, and then to the room for some aerobics at bedtime and before going to work. I could not get enough of her gorgeous body, and she did a few things that told me she was a novice to aerobics. After 5 days, she went back home.
Last February, I was working in Cyprus and told her at the end of the job I would fly to Dubai for 10 days and would fly her there to meet me. She claimed no visa was required for Dubai, which I believed and arranged her flight. Then the day before I flew there, I checked and it turned out she did require a visa. It was costly, but I managed. We went to Dubai for 10 days and had a good time, but it was kind of expensive. We argued several times, but the makeup aerobics afterwards were great.
However, prior to this woman getting her period, she is a total lunatic and not in a good way. Mood swings and rash decisions. Yes, a total nut job. Better to avoid her completely. Do not even talk on the phone to her.
Adma’s Red Flags and the Plans for Asia
In November, I invited her to go to Asia. Yes, like taking sand to the beach I know. But I could not get over her body, and I was totally intrigued by her mindset. She seemed nice and innocent, but very secretive about everything. I had been sending $100 every now and again to support her. Just like in Asia, when she needed something, I would send her money. The funny thing is, when I sent her money, I would not hear from her for a few days. First red flag.
Then when we talked, it was always one-sided, and she would reply when she felt like it or if she needed something. Then she would talk a lot. I am married, and she knew about my wife, so I was her sugar daddy. It seems every guy in Ghana has a side chick, and I have never seen women anywhere else in the world who are so totally focused on money. If you have money, you can get any of them.
I ignored the red flags and applied for visas for both Thailand and Vietnam for her, but could not get them. These aging countries are quite smart when it comes to immigration and do not seem to want Africans in the country. No visa is required for the Philippines.
So after wasting considerable time and money on visa applications, the Philippines was the last resort as it has visa on arrival. I flew to Manila and was to meet her there. However, she was refused boarding at Accra airport as she turned up 45 minutes before the flight. So, I ended up paying an extra $800 for the next flight two days later. She works at the airport and does not realize you need to be there at least two hours before. Crazy how dumb must you be.
Sending Money and More Red Flags With Adma
I also sent her $1,000 so she could show immigration she could support herself while there, and told her that would be her money for services rendered as a holiday girlfriend. I think that is where I messed up paying her before delivering the goods. She arrived 3 days late.
The Nightmare of Traveling Through the Philippines Together
The plan had been to stay in Manila for 3 days and go to the islands. However, a couple of typhoons struck, so we were stuck in Manila for 8 days. Manila is fine, but I hate big cities. All she wanted to do was go to malls. I also hate malls and shopping, so yes, it sucked. We argued a lot, but the aerobics was great, so I did not care. She spent most of her time on her mobile phone probably chatting with boyfriends or whatever. She loved doing the TikTok thing on her phone, then putting it through filters to make herself beautiful and I assume posting on Snapchat or whatever. I did not mind. It was me she was sleeping with, so whatever. I even filmed a few for her, but I was getting fed up as I had no one to communicate with. She had nothing to say and had no interest in the culture. All she did was look at her phone. What a waste of time asking her.
After 8 days, we were going to the islands. I offered to buy her another flight home as this was not working out and she did not seem happy. But she said she wanted to stay. That was a big mistake on my part, as the arguments were getting worse and all I was getting was the silent treatment which was driving me nuts. A man can only deal with that so long, but she was now my responsibility. We stayed in really beautiful, expensive accommodations and had the best food and basically anything she wanted apart from going to the mall. And this really made her get annoyed, as all she wanted to do was shop. I told her I never came on vacation for that purpose.
Next, she tells me she does not want to go out in the sun because it makes her more black. I am like really a black person that does not want to be black? Unbelievable. She would chat all night on the phone because of the time difference and sleep most days until 1:00 p.m., but never sit and chat with me. What a horrible experience. I was feeling like a total sucker which I was and regretting every minute of the holiday.
Despite all the problems, the aerobics were still great during the night and mornings. Anyhow, we spent a month together. She went back to Africa and I went to Canada. I fully enjoyed the Philippines, but will never take sand to the beach again and definitely not her. When we departed for separate flights home, she never even said goodbye or thank you. Just continued walking to her gate even though 6 hours earlier we had fantastic aerobics prior to catching the flight from Manila.
This woman was a total narcissist and pretty dumb would be my guess. Zero conscience for a person claiming to be religious. She screwed my head up completely, and I wish I’d never ever met her. I honestly believe she is a very evil person. The aerobics were good, but everything else sucked with her. I have a feeling she had a steady boyfriend maybe a month before going on vacation.
Why I Could Not Get Over the Relationship
Anyhow, that is the story. 4 months later, I’m still trying to get over her. Definitely some black magic going on. She has absolutely nothing to offer but aerobics, but somehow she managed to totally make me obsessed with her. And I have been around the world several times and had way better aerobics and communication than her. But she had put a spell on me. I swear she did. Nothing else makes sense. I swear she is pure evil and plays exactly the same game as a Thai bar girl the long game.
So why has this woman got into my head? I cannot figure it out. I’m still not over her. She used me, but I used her, so I cannot complain. I’ve been with many women all over the world, from Iceland to Australia, but this total pain in the neck woman got me hooked. I never knew what a narcissist was until I met her. Now I know very well. Pray you never meet a woman like this, as it is not worth your sanity.
Also, the generational issues due to the age gap. I just turned 63, and she was 35 when I met her. She seemed nice and very mature and said all the right things, but I came to find out that she has the mindset of a 20-year-old. All she wants to do is take selfies and social media videos for her adoring fans. 35 is too old for that, I would say. Then she claims it is for her own record and use. I believe she thought I was a total idiot. But once I saw through all the fake stuff and she knew I had her number, she changed and the true version of this woman showed its ugly face.
This woman has more red flags than a Chinese government parade. Yet, I’m still missing her and intrigued by the way she acts. It was amazing to watch. She has totally blocked me, but I still cannot get over her. Any advice on how to move on would be appreciated. A narcissist will absolutely ruin your life and mess your head up totally. Run away as soon as you recognize it. Horrible experience.
A First Thailand Trip in Ao Nang
I am a South African born guy, 43 years of age and living in London. My story starts in April 2018 when my friend Frankie, also a South African, invited me to Thailand. We arranged to have a two week holiday to explore Thailand this after he finished up with his first half term teaching English at a rural school in the middle of Thailand, south of Chumphon on the east coast. I took a train from Bangkok to meet him.
The next day we went down to Surat Thani by train and then to Krabi by bus. I was so impressed with the Thai train serving food and drink almost like on an aircraft. I’d just landed in Bangkok 3 days before, and all this was super exciting for me. This strange yet beautiful culture started to grow on me.
We arrived in Ao Nang early in the night. It was during this trip, squashed in the back with many other farangs, that my friend’s wallet got stolen by a fellow farang. We suspected a guy who was sitting next to my friend the most unfriendly of the lot, not speaking to anyone really, and from the looks of it, on some substances. We realized my friend’s wallet had gone once we arrived at the hotel. He had to pay for two nights’ accommodation. We were so disappointed that his wallet was gone that we even went back to the bus terminal in Krabi by taxi to go look for the wallet, but found nothing.
On the funny side of things, we actually stopped at three different bus stations since there was more than one, and we did not know the name of the one we arrived at, but eventually found it. We looked around on the ground everywhere but did not find his wallet. We even woke up the bus driver of our bus who by now was asleep in the bus next to the bus terminal and parked up for the night. We did not find my friend’s wallet in the bus.
Meeting Nam and Her Friend in Ao Nang
Back in Ao Nang, we decided to go to the local restaurant later that evening to get something to eat. Our table was on the side of the restaurant, so people walking on the pavement could stop and talk to us very easily. A very pretty Thai girl came along and introduced herself and asked if we would mind if she joined us for dinner. We said, “No problem. Grab a seat.” It wasn’t long until I realized my friend had taken a liking to her. We chatted for a while and ended up sharing our LINE contact details, and she then left. This was my very first experience of actually sitting and talking with a Thai girl.
We had arranged a date with the girl we had met the previous night, and she was to bring a friend along too. The girl’s name was S and her friend was called Nam. The girls took us to a local bar where we spent some of the evening drinking and playing bar games such as Jenga. S was into my friend and my friend into her. So they hit it off. S had brought her friend called Nam along to hopefully hook up with me. She was quite an attractive looking girl, and we seemed to hit it off. She was also a lot of fun, and I loved her smile. Oh, and she was also definitely very flirty with me.
The girls told us about a Western style nightclub that they knew of and wanted to go to. We agreed, and we all headed to this nightclub you know the sort of thing, no sides on the building, more of an open air nightclub. The performers did all sorts of crazy things like juggle fire. This was all new to me.
We ordered a round of cocktails and were all sitting watching the performances when Nam stands up because she recognizes another foreigner and goes over to speak to him. I was left on my own like a lemon sitting there watching Frankie and S enjoying each other’s company for at least half an hour. This really annoyed me. I had finished my drink and decided to go and have a look for her. I looked all over the club but realized she was nowhere to be found.
I thought to myself, why am I running around chasing this girl? She has obviously left with an old customer. I wasn’t now in the best of moods. There wasn’t much single action going on in this club, but next door there was another bar which looked a little bit more interesting. I spoke to my friend and said, “Look, I’m going next door. There’s nothing here for me. I’ll see you in a while.”
Drinking on the Beach With the Thai Band
This place was mainly Thai people, but again, they had another live band. I was the only foreigner in the bar, but I really enjoyed the band. So every time they finished a song, I stood up and made a lot of noise. The band took notice of me and loved the attention I was giving them, all smiling back at me. Although I was by myself drinking and listening to the band, I was having a really good time. I enjoyed this live band music so much. They were really good musicians. I even ended up dancing at one point.
I can’t remember how many beers I had had at this point, but the band bought me a beer to show their appreciation. Eventually, the music stopped at about 2:00 a.m. The band leader, called Lockach, who spoke some English, came over to me and asked me if I wanted to join them on the beach as they were going to party. I thought this was great. I told him, “Yes, I would love to join them.”
We all ended up on the beach—all of the band members, their girlfriends, and me. We were drinking beer, Thai whiskey, and listening to very loud Thai music. I remember asking Lach, “Why don’t you release a CD?” because I thought his music was that good. He just laughed at me and said, “I only play for fun. I don’t think we’re that good.” I told him I didn’t agree with him and thought his band were brilliant, which put another smile on his face.
At about 5:00 a.m., I was quite drunk and thanked Lockach for the evening and headed back to where we were staying.
The Persistent Ladyboy After the Night Out
Walking back to the accommodation, I bumped into a ladyboy who tried chatting me up. Remember, I had zero experience of Thailand, and this was quite an awful experience as I just wanted to go home and sleep. But this ladyboy was so persistent it took me half an hour to get rid of him. Believe it or not, this ladyboy actually started crying because I would not take him back with me. I don’t know if they were real tears or not, but he was very convincing.
When I spoke to my friend the following day, he told me that Nam had come back to the club after about an hour and a half and was looking for me. My friend didn’t let on that I was next door as obviously being more experienced than me he realized she had gone off with the other guy for a short time and then came back to look for me afterwards. So he played dumb.
It was my first experience of the Land of Smiles. And although I lost the girl on that night, I still had a thoroughly good night on the beach drinking with the band and their girlfriends which was a great experience which will stay in my mind forever.
An Engineer’s Thai Colleague and a Bar Girl Lookalike
My story starts in the middle of February 2019 when I worked as a freelance engineer for an engineering company in Rotterdam that designed, built, and installed food processing plants all over the world. I was working on my last project before leaving the company when my boss asked me to temporarily take over a project from one of my colleagues due to him being sick for several weeks to come which meant I had to travel to Thailand within 3 days.
Now as project engineer, I was responsible for the smooth and correct installation and handover to the customer of complete production lines both as project leader and engineer. So needless to say, the 3 days’ notice left me no time at all to prepare for the project and look into Thai culture. Since I had worked several projects in Asia in China, South Korea, and Singapore I assumed that it would be fine. But boy, was I wrong.
Even though it is still called the Land of Smiles, I quickly learned that saving face is everything, and telling the department head he is wrong in the presence of others is a sure way of losing that smile. Anyway, I left for Thailand knowing only the main details of the project and that a local team of employees was waiting for me at the customer site approximately 1 hour north of Bangkok. I guess this project would start as a “fake it until you make it” project until I got up to date with all details.
Working With a Thai Translator in Thailand
At arrivals, I met the team, finding out that most spoke little to no English. After two difficult days, luckily, one of the local managers assigned one of his office staff that spoke almost fluent English to assist me. She was a timid girl with zero technical background and was, if you ask me, afraid of making mistakes, so I did not expect too much cooperation. I do not mention her name as I want to honor her privacy.
However, after some days of working in the team, she loosened up, and after a week or two, I would even say she became one of the key persons in the team instead of just a translator. She may not have the engineering skills to fully understand all the details, but she picked up the big picture rather quickly. I can safely say that I could not have done this without her contribution.
After the fourth week, my colleague should have been better and would come and take over, so I could go back to the Netherlands and continue with my own projects. However, due to the fast progress I was making and the fact that he was only 90% recovered, my boss in the Netherlands pleaded with me to stay and finish the project. Since he really liked the way I was handling the project, he made me an offer I could not refuse. He would pay me the time I spent working in Thailand on my own project at 150%. I would get one week’s paid holiday after completion of the Thailand project. And if I managed to finish the Thailand project within the next four weeks, I would get one third of the early delivery bonus the company would earn. Since this bonus could earn me an extra half year’s salary on top of the overtime and standard salary, I agreed.
Now, writing it down like this, I see how you could think that I only did it for the money. But what I have not mentioned yet is I have to admit that in the past few weeks, I had started to appreciate my English-speaking colleague in a more than work related way, if you know what I mean. And even had the idea that she did too, since we made flirty comments and we talked about a lot of personal matters when we were working alone. So I wanted to see if this could become something.
Now I have to admit that I am not the greatest in recognizing a woman’s signs and have been wrong in the past. But since a Dutch colleague of mine who came for a specialized job asked me after only half a day if she was into me, it was clear to me that she also felt something for me. So I asked her on the seventh week if she would like to join me on a trip to Bangkok. Unfortunately, she declined my offer since she already had a boyfriend. I was so embarrassed I had misread her signs, but until today, I’m not sure if I really did.
The Bonus That Changed the Goodbye
Despite the strange atmosphere between us, I managed to get all required signatures two days before the 8 week deadline, securing my early delivery bonus. Now, I am all about teamwork and paying it forward. So I arranged a dinner that evening for the core team to celebrate the successful completion of the transfer, and I planned to share part of my bonus and hand each of them a 25,000 baht bonus as a reward for the hard work. Since I wanted to give each the same amount, I did not know if the team would appreciate it if the others knew how much each of them got. I had put the cash in envelopes with only their names on.
My English-speaking colleague was not joining us for this celebration dinner. Therefore, I gave her the envelope before the dinner at the office when we were alone. I assumed that she would appreciate it as a nice gesture of me sharing my personal bonus. Now, that was not the case at all. She thought I was trying to buy her to join me for a holiday. So before I could even say one word as explanation, she started swearing at me in both English and Thai. After screaming for several minutes, I managed to explain that it was meant as a thank you only and I would also give a bonus to the other five key members in the core team not just her. At first, she did not believe me. But after showing her the other five envelopes, she calmed down but never thanked me for the bonus and just left.
So the last two days, the atmosphere between us was even worse. And when I said goodbye on the last day, she was nowhere to be seen.
A Bangkok Night With a Bar Girl Lookalike
The second part of my story is about my holiday in Bangkok. I arranged a hotel close to Nana Plaza. After working for an average of 90 to 100 hours per week for the last 2 months on two full time projects, you can imagine that I was exhausted. So the first two days I did little but sleep and got one of the famous Thai massages, the one without the extra services.
However, the second evening, I decided to join the party in Nana Plaza and just see where the night would end. Now, in the third bar I entered, I made a huge mistake. When I walked in, I saw a girl at a table standing alone. At first, I thought I was mistaken, but she looked exactly the same as my English-speaking colleague same height, same weight, same haircut, and even a somewhat similar scar on her neck. So, after observing her for a few minutes, she was still alone, and I was convinced it was her.
So, still being a bit hurt from the way she reacted and did not show up to say goodbye, I went over and bluntly asked her why she did not show up and say goodbye to me on the last day. Once she started talking, however, I knew I’d made a mistake and she was not my English-speaking colleague. I did not know where to look, and I guess I said sorry a hundred times before retreating to a different table. At that moment, I did not understand why she followed me after me approaching her so unfriendly. Now, in hindsight, I know the reason: money. I was an easy target.
After several drinks and buying her some lady drinks, she convinced me to take her up to my room for some aerobics. I was not drunk, but close to it. When paying the bill, I’m sure I did not order 12 rounds for her and me. At most, it was six or seven. However, she swore on the grave of her mother it was more than 10. And since I had no proof, I had to pay.
Walking back to the hotel, we passed a 7-Eleven. And here is the next mistake of the evening. She wanted a toothbrush so she could freshen up for me. Since I saw no harm in a $1 or $2 toothbrush, I agreed. But once inside, the one toothbrush became a $40 bill: some perfume, shampoo that smells so good, and something to drink to continue the night in the hotel. In the hotel room, she did freshen up, but it took her a long time. We drank the booze from the 7-Eleven before finally engaging in some aerobics, but honestly, it was not good at all. She just rushed it without smiling once.
The next morning, we did round two, but this was hardly any better. And to top it off, this wonderful night, the girl claimed I still had to pay her when she was leaving. While I was sure I had paid for her the moment we entered the hotel room, she had lowered her demand to 1,500 baht. I paid her anyway just to get rid of her.
Meeting Cherry in Nana Plaza
This experience ruined my next evening, and I left the bars early on my own. However, the night after that, I hit the jackpot. I met a gorgeous girl named Cherry. I had a wonderful evening in which she never asked for anything and was content with the drinks I offered her. Around 1:00 a.m., she joined me to continue the party in my hotel, and this time I can say nothing more than, “Wow, that was good.”
The next morning, I woke up, but she was not next to me anymore. After finding the bathroom empty, as well as noticing the money I left on the counter for her was gone, I just thought back to the previous experience and started looking through my stuff to see if anything was missing. I had already emptied my suitcase on the floor when the door opened and there she was with a big smile and carrying two cups of coffee and some bottled water. Since we had so much to drink the night before and there was nothing left in my room, she decided to go out and buy something before I woke up and took the money I left her to pay for it. The fact that she went out to buy coffee and water with her own money impressed me so much.
After the coffee, we had some even better aerobics than the night before. Since I enjoyed our time together and trusted her not to take advantage of me, I decided to spend the next few days with her until I left for home. I cannot think of anything negative about Cherry during all my remaining time in Bangkok. She never ordered too much of the most expensive dishes in a restaurant. She never begged me for gifts when we visited a market or shopping mall. I did buy her some small gifts, but this was always on my initiative.
So when I left, I gave her my remaining cash approximately 9,000 baht and I really felt that she deserved every single baht even though I already paid the agreed amount for her company.
