Flower, Rose, and a Heartbreaking Loss In Thailand
A little about myself first. I was in the automobile business in the USA for most of my working life. I made good money and I managed to save a decent amount for retirement. I also receive a decent private and state pension. I was married for approximately 40 years. I raised two sons who are now both working and independent. Over the last 10 to 12 years, the relationship between myself and my wife has been more and more distant in fact, the bedroom activity faded out approximately 8 years ago. So as you can imagine, life for me in America was pretty miserable.
I have visited Thailand on several occasions with a friend who persuaded me to go along with him. It wasn’t a problem to get away from my wife at the time because basically she wasn’t really interested in what I did. I can still remember every time I came through my front door after a Thailand trip, the first thing on my mind was to run upstairs, turn on my PC, and start looking for flights to return to Thailand.
At the age of 65, both my wife and I decided that the marriage had run its course and we thought it better that we go our separate ways. From day one that we decided to end our marriage, I immediately started thinking about Thailand as a possible destination for retirement. I mean, let’s face it what did I have here in the US except a lot of miserable faces walking about every day worrying about paying their bills? That wasn’t for me. Our family home was finally sold and divided between me and my ex wife. I sold everything I didn’t need, and the few personal belongings I wanted to hang on to I gave to my sister to store at her house. Next stop Bangkok.
I won’t bore you with the details of finding an apartment and settling down because there are lots of videos already on YouTube about guys retiring to Thailand who explain budgets, etc. This story will focus more on the girls I have met since being here.
Dating in Thailand
I’m not really into the bars and I’m not a drinker, but I did want to meet attractive girls for that girlfriend experience (or even experiences). I’ve been married for the past 40 years. I wasn’t ready to get into a relationship, and I wanted to test the waters in the romance department. As I’ve said, I don’t like the bars too much I didn’t like the prospect of having to go into a bar or go go bars and pay money just to take girls out. It’s just not my scene. On the other hand, as I spoke virtually no Thai at all (other than the normal please, thank you, and how much, etc., which I had learned before leaving the States), my chance of meeting a normal Thai girl in a restaurant or a shopping mall, for instance, were virtually nil. This gave me one other option dating sites.
I had watched quite a few YouTube videos about Thailand (including yours, Peter) before heading out to Thailand. Many people recommend sites such as Thai Friendly and Tinder. Now, I must mention at this point I wasn’t really interested in just finding one girl and making her my girlfriend. As I said earlier, I have just come out of a long term marriage.
I put together my profile and uploaded it to just one dating site to start with. I was amazed at the number of girls who responded to my profile. If this was America, I would be lucky to get one. A little nervous because it had been a lot of years since I dated, I got in contact with several of these girls who all appeared to be very nice. Now obviously I was quite naive and I didn’t understand that some of these girls were just looking for money. But anyway, I made dates with several of them and had some quite good experiences.
I like to get to know a girl a little before trying anything a little more serious. If I meet a girl, the first thing I normally do is I would take her for a drink, a meal, and perhaps some other kind of entertainment. Later on in the evening, I would generally try to do this two or three times before attempting to bring her back to my apartment. One of the other main reasons for this was because I wanted to see if there was any chemistry between us.
So it has been about a year (as said) since I arrived in Thailand, and I dated quite a lot of Thai women ranging in age from 32 to 48. For the most part, I have enjoyed my time with the majority of these girls although there have been one or two strange ones.
Something I found out very early was that quite a few of these girls that I dated were simply looking for money. They just didn’t put it in that straightforward way like the girls in the bars. They would come out with statements like, “I really like you, but I have to send money to my family,” or “I don’t have money for rent can you help me?” It was always the same ploy to try and get money from me. I would get to spend the night with them, but they wanted some form of compensation for the most part anyway. For the girls who didn’t get what they wanted from me, they would fade away very quickly.
There were several who didn’t ask for money or come out with hints about needing money, but these girls were typically looking for a long term relationship on the terms of finding somebody to support them financially on a monthly basis rather than short term transactions.
So now you know a bit about me. I want to get into the main reason for sending you this story. As you know, some Thai girls can be ruthless and are very good at manipulating foreign guys to get what they want financially. This part of my story will show you just how manipulative these Thai girls can be.
Meeting Flower
It all started as it normally does. One evening while in my apartment, I received a notification from Tinder from a girl who was interested to speak to me. Upon opening her profile, she immediately struck me as one of the more beautiful girls I had come across on the dating apps. She wasn’t young she looked about 40 but she was stunning. We messaged back and forth for a while, and then she suggested we jump on the LINE app and talk face to face.
When talking to her on video chat, it was apparent that her English was good. She told me her nickname was Flower, and that is what I should call her. We spent time talking to each other both in the daytime and the evening for about a week before I finally asked her if she would be interested in meeting me for dinner to which she replied she would be.
We met up in a local restaurant close to my apartment at Terminal 21 near Asok. Afterwards, we had drinks in a local bar, and everything was going well. I was intrigued about how good her English was, but I didn’t want to insult her, so I didn’t say too much. But I wondered had she had a foreign boyfriend or boyfriends in the past? Had she even been abroad? She told me she’d worked for a foreign company in the past, but I wasn’t entirely convinced. But for the moment, the evening was going well.
At about 1:00 a.m., Flower suddenly turned to me and said, “My apartment is far, and the BTS has stopped at midnight. I don’t have money for a taxi as I left my purse at home. Can I stay with you at your apartment until I can catch the BTS in the morning?” This surprised me, while at the same time excited me. I thought most girls would have just asked to borrow a couple of hundred baht for a taxi. Here was something more going on.
Without going into all the details, we eventually ended up at my apartment. She showered, and I had one of the most enjoyable nights of aerobics that I had ever experienced in my life. I woke up before Flower, and I looked at her sleeping peacefully in my bed. This girl looked like something from an exotic travel brochure the way she lay across the bed with her long black hair hanging off the back of the pillow, dark silky skin, beautiful lips and mouth slightly open. She seemed to be laying peacefully without a care in the world not at this moment, anyway.
I guess you can guess what happened next. She wasn’t too thrilled to be woken up abruptly, but I was a man on a mission I just couldn’t resist. Eventually, the deed was over, and as quickly as Flower had jumped into bed, she was once again out and in the shower.
When she wandered into my small kitchen, I asked her if she would like a coffee or something else to drink. Her reply stunned me. She said and I quote “I want to be your girlfriend from right now, and you must pay me 50,000 baht per month to look after me. But I will not come here every day.” Honestly, I was shocked. I know these girls are looking for money, but to come out with it in such a bold statement I couldn’t believe it. She just stood there looking at me, waiting for a reaction.
I forced a fake smile and said, “Look, you’re a nice girl. I enjoyed your company, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you again but I’m not looking for a girlfriend, especially one that I have to pay a salary to.” I was expecting World War III, but to my surprise, she shrugged her shoulders and said those three magical words words that you will always hear again and again, mostly in Thailand “Up to you.”
I went into the bedroom and retrieved 2,000 baht that I had hidden under a book before going to sleep. I came back into the kitchen, gave it to Flower, and said, “Here this is for your taxi home.” Taxi? What a joke she could have gone to Chiang Mai and back for that. Flower left, and I thought to myself, okay, no real harm done. I had a great night of aerobics, and 2,000 baht isn’t the end of the world. I also thought I would never see Flower again.
The Return
How wrong I was. About 3 days went by when I get a text message from Flower saying, “How are you today, tee rak? I miss you. I won’t come see you?” I thought about it for a while would this be wise? Although she had asked me for 50,000 baht a month and I had refused, she hadn’t really been aggressive, moody, or intimidating. She also didn’t seem to get upset when I said I wasn’t interested. As I keep saying, she was drop dead gorgeous and was great in bed. So I thought, what’s there to lose other than a good time?
I texted her back and said, “Yeah, no problem you can come over to my apartment if you want to,” and we arranged a time that suited us both. Same as the last time fantastic few hours of aerobics, 2,000 baht, and a naughty smile as she left my apartment. This went on for about 6 weeks, although I was seeing plenty of other girls at the same time.
One thing that used to annoy me about Flower was her timekeeping. We’d arrange to meet at 6:00 p.m., and she’d turn up at 7:30 p.m. I now understand that this is a very Thai thing, and I don’t get upset about it but she seemed to do it at every meeting, and it was very, very irritating. I spoke to her about it and explained that I like her to turn up on time. She promised and said, “Sorry, tee rak. Next time I promise I won’t be late again.” But again, she always was.
The Climax
Which brings me to the climax of our story. Flower was now a steadfast regular of the beauties that would visit me in my apartment sometimes in the afternoon, other times in the evening. On this particular day, Flower had arranged with me to come to my apartment at 9:00 p.m.
Now, as I already said, I was expecting her to be late. But by 11:30 p.m., I was really irritated. I couldn’t care less about waiting up to see her. I locked the door, turned off the lights, and went to bed. Just as I turned off my bedside lamp, my phone rang yep, you guessed it it’s Flower. She simply says, “I come see you now, tee rak.” No sorry, no explanation just, “I come see you.” I told her, “Don’t bother I’m already in bed. It’s 11:30.” She said, “But tee rak, I’m on my way.” Again, I told her, “You were supposed to be here at 9:00. It’s now 11:30. I’m going to sleep.”
She then said, “I’m sorry, but I come now.” I said, “No you’ve disrespected me. We agreed 9:00. 30 minutes late is fine, but it’s now 11:30, and I don’t want to see you.” I hung up the phone and turned off the lights.
I’m just starting to fall asleep when I hear knocking at my door. Now, I live in a secure building you need a key card to get up to the elevator. So I’ve got no idea how she’s made it to my room alone. I know it’s her, but I don’t get out of bed. I just lay there and hope she will go away. But she continues banging on the door for about 5 minutes. That doesn’t seem like a long time, but when the corridors are quiet, it’s like explosions going off. I hope she doesn’t disturb my neighbors I like living here.
After about 5 minutes, it goes quiet once again, and I think, “Good she’s gone.” But once again, my phone rings. “Tee rak, why you not open door? I miss you.” I told her straight: “If you ring me once more, I’m going to block your number,” and I hung up. She didn’t ring me again that night. I thought to myself before sleeping, “That’s definitely it I will never see her again.”
Or will I?
The Discovery
About a week goes by when I receive a message on my phone that says, “Tee rak, I so sorry, but I miss you. I won’t come see you now.” It just so happened that one girl had let me down, and at that moment I’d been thinking what my alternative plans would be for the afternoon other than her knocking on my door for a while last week. Flower hadn’t really caused me any great distress or disturbance. She was quite mature about things she was just persistent in a strange way. I kind of admired this about her.
I texted her and said, “How long will you be?” She replied, “About 45 minutes, tee rak.” I said, “Fine let me know when you’re downstairs, and I’ll come down and collect you.” When Flower was in my apartment, I made her a cold drink and a coffee for myself. And I don’t know why, but I just come out with it. I said, “Are you still on Tinder or Thai Friendly?” To which she very quickly replied, “No I’ve deleted my accounts.”
To anybody listening to this story who might not know, it is possible for somebody to still be on a dating site but delete someone so they can’t see their profile. Flower told me she was no longer on these dating sites. She could have been it’s just that I couldn’t see her because she could have blocked me. I thought to myself, “Hmm I have to put Plan B into action.”
I have a friend in the States who I contacted. I told him this story and said, “It’s not really serious with her I just want to find out if this girl is lying to me, because she’s okay.” So I gave him her name and asked him to see what he could find. After a few days, he sent me the text that he copied and pasted between Flower and himself. He’d started off by basically saying, “Hi gorgeous this is Roger. I’m from the States. I’ve just arrived in Bangkok, and I’m looking for a girlfriend or at least a friend for the moment.” Roger was really in the States, but just said he was in Bangkok. Not long after, he received a reply from Flower telling him that she was single and had no boyfriend and that she would love to meet up for a coffee or something.
A few days later, Flower came around to my apartment with the normal routine of lies. While she was late, I was now armed with copies of her texts between her and Roger. After a little while, I said to her again, “Are you sure you’re not on Tinder or Thai Friendly?” She again reiterated that she is not on any dating site. I then showed her copies of the text which I had printed out. By this time, I was expecting her to be shocked and deny everything, or run out of the apartment. Instead, she very, very calmly looked at me and said, “Yes that’s me.”
I was a little taken back at this because I was not expecting this kind of reaction. I was expecting your typical Thai girl denial and drama. I asked her why she lied. She told me, “Look I’ve already told you I wanted you to be my boyfriend, and you said no. So I’m looking for somebody else who is able to take care of me financially.” I then said, “If that was the case, why did you bother to lie to me?” She just shrugged her shoulders and said, “You know.”
As a result because I wasn’t in love with Flower, and on the other hand she knew I wouldn’t support her financially full time the both of us kind of let the whole situation just blow over, and we didn’t think any more of it.
The Arrangement
I continued to see Flower from time to time. Normally, she will text me, she will come over to my apartment for a few hours, we’ll have some great aerobics, I’ll give her a couple of thousand baht, and that’s it until the next time. I suspect that I’m just her backup a way of getting some quick cash if she’s desperate. I dare say she’s got several guys she’s trying to hook and is telling them all the same lies. I feel sorry for any guy who believes her story and falls in love with her.
What’s important is she was upfront with me and told me what she wanted 50,000 baht a month. There’s no way in this world that I could have a relationship with somebody who is only with me for money. Now, on the other hand for a few hours each week for some fantastic aerobics and a couple of thousand baht I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as Flower is happy to come over and I’m happy to entertain her for a while.
The bottom line is here: not everything in Thailand is what it seems. Flower isn’t a bad girl she’s just trying to get by as best as she can. She’s obviously a little more intelligent than your average bar girl and trying to maximize her earnings. Who knows perhaps deep down she wants to find herself a husband. I don’t feel any bad feelings towards her, and I wish her all the best of luck. I sincerely hope that she finds what she’s looking for one day.
Story Two A First Timer’s Trip to the Philippines
I have had my passport for about a year and a half now, and I finally have the chance to leave the country. I left for Sea Tac Airport, and when I arrived, I learned that there was a 3 hour delay before the flight took off. When we finally took off for our 14 hour flight, I was very excited to finally be in the air on my way to the Philippines.
When I arrived, I caught my bearings and started to go through my checklist of what I needed. When I got to Manila Airport, I needed a SIM card, so the first action was to go to a nearby ATM to withdraw some cash. I withdrew 10,000 pesos to buy a SIM card at the airport from a local vendor mistake number one, as I will tell you later in this story. When the lady tried the SIM card in my phone, the phone locked, and I was unable to use the phone.
So I proceeded to go outside and grab a taxi. When I went outside, taxi cab drivers were calling me to their cabs. There was a guy in a white short sleeve golf shirt who ushered me to a transportation service center across the street to take me to my room in Angeles City. There was another guy inside who told me it would cost 7,600 pesos to take me to the hotel. I was told it was only 5,500 pesos. What’s going on? Then he replied, “Okay, we will take you for 5,500 pesos, but you pay the toll fee, okay?” He told me the toll fee was 1,200, but I learned it was actually 1,000 pesos. I agreed, and off we went.
It was a Sunday, and the traffic was terrible and it was sweltering hot. When we arrived at the toll booth, I gave the driver 1,500 pesos for the toll and soon thereafter arrived at the hotel. He tried to give me 200 pesos out of 300, but I wanted all of my change because I had a feeling the toll wasn’t that much. I had to let them know that they had gotten me, but I’m not a complete sucker.
Meeting Rose
I checked in, and they showed me to my room. I called the Filipina I had been talking to for about 8 months her name is Rose. She’s very attractive with beautiful long black hair and a short, curvy body to let her know I’d made it. I met her in the hotel lobby, hugged, and told each other we were happy to finally meet one another. We got back to my room, and we immediately started to make out. After we had a quick shower together, we had fantastic aerobics even though she was spotting for her first time of the month. After the aerobics, we washed up and cuddled and chilled for the night.
The next day, Rose offered her friend to me for aerobics since she was near her time of the month. So she called a friend who worked in a bar we’ll call her Dee to see if she wanted to hang out with us and later that night have some drinks. Dee was busy at that time and told us to come to the bar later that night.
When we got there, we met Dee, and she was more attractive than Rose was. I didn’t really see Dee’s body, but her face was beautiful. We sat down and began to socialize, and my girl Rose looked on stage and said, “She’s pretty I like her hair.” She was talking about a mixed Black and Filipino bar girl on the far end of the stage that was an absolute stunner we’ll call her Brie. The best looking woman there, in my humble opinion.
Dee asked me if I wanted Brie to come sit with us, and I said, “I’ll tell you what if you can pick out two girls on stage I’m attracted to and have her come sit with us, I’ll not only buy us all drinks but order food to eat. How’s that?” Dee picked out another girl with her laser pointer, and to my amazement, she was spot on the other girl was stunning as well. She too came down to join us we’ll call her Eva.
I ordered us all drinks, and before I knew it, I felt hands massaging my shoulders and back. I turned around, and another stunning Filipina was massaging me. I felt like a rock star. I ordered her drinks, and we all talked amongst ourselves we were all having a good time. I was spreading the conversation around the table, but my attention was very much on Brie most of the time. I asked if she was single, but she told me she had a boyfriend. I established a rule: never bar fine a girl that has a sponsor, husband, or boyfriend I don’t want to engage in any dramas. But for Brie, I would have to make an exception. Dee and Eva were single, but I didn’t pursue aerobics with them. They were all nice and friendly girls, and I was enjoying my time with them. Such a good time with all of these beautiful Filipinas sitting at my table making me feel like a king.
Eventually, the mamasan came over to our table and introduced herself. She was very nice and entertaining showing off her bar girl moves, showing us that she still got it. The food came, and we all ate. I thanked the mamasan and promised I would be back very soon. They all thanked me for the meal, and Rose and I hit a couple more bars before returning to my room for some more aerobics.
Throughout my trip, Rose asked if I wanted another woman because of her time of the month, and I let her know that I wasn’t there for any other woman besides her.
The Debit Card Drama
That was the mistake I mentioned earlier. I was so distracted about the 3 hour flight delay that I forgot to call my bank to let them know I was going on a trip overseas, so they locked my debit card for security purposes. I was kind of worried but didn’t panic and kept cool. I went to the front desk for assistance, and they tried to call from their personal cell phones but couldn’t make international calls. They told me to go to the lady at the concierge desk so she could assist me better. She told me to go to another hotel so that I could use their line to call my bank. I did I paid 300 pesos to make my call, and I successfully unlocked my account and had no more trouble getting money from then on.
Meeting the Family
Rose wanted me to meet her family, so we met her Auntie Ruby (who was also very attractive), her female cousin who lives with Rose, and Rose’s male cousin who works as a trike driver at a nearby restaurant. We had a very nice time meeting and getting to know one another while we ate and drank. I thoroughly enjoyed the next two days with Rose.
As it was getting near for me to leave, Rose is great, and she has shown me that she is potential wife material but of course, she isn’t perfect. There was a time when she kept asking me the same question over and over, which is a pet peeve of mine. Another thing was Rose asked me to invite her family to my hotel and go for a swim in the hotel’s pool without mentioning that I would foot the bill for them to eat. I don’t mind sharing my success and what I have, but please do not take advantage. I didn’t come on vacation to spend all my money on Rose’s family. However, Rose’s good points outweigh her bad points, and I can sit and talk and reason and compromise with her, despite her broken English.
There were times I felt that there were so many Filipinos in need asking me for change and sleeping out on the street with no place to go. I did give out some change but was very careful not to get mobbed by others for money.
When it was time to go, it was sad, but I didn’t shed a tear. I know that I will get back home to take care of some business and be back to the Philippines very soon. All in all, I had an outstanding time and had experiences of a lifetime. Not too bad for my first trip out of the country.
Story Three A Heartbreaking Loss A Warning to All Couples
I met my Asian girlfriend in 1964, and it was love at first sight. She and I were both 18, and our birthdays were 18 days of each other. Within a week, I knew she was the one to marry. We met, married, and the next 50 years were spent traveling the world together. The strength of our relationship kept us close, even though the racism that was to be found in the UK in the 1960s and 1970s wasn’t great. As the years progressed, our relationship became even stronger to the point of knowing what we were thinking about without saying a word. Life without her would have been inconceivable. She was always there for me and for her.
The years rolled on and on, and it seemed to me that our relationship would last forever.
The Symptoms
Then last Christmas, she had signs and symptoms that I carelessly dismissed. She could not eat the delicious dinner that she had cooked for us. She had been complaining about a diminished sense of taste, and her normally slim figure became bloated. Most notably, she complained about abdominal pains, which we put down to chronic indigestion very wrongly.
By the beginning of February, she was at the emergency department, where a 15 cm tumor was discovered on her ovaries. It was to take another 5 weeks to be diagnosed with advanced cancer. She told me that the tumor could not be operated on and that the cancer was terminal. She wanted so much to live.
In the space of a few weeks, our wonderful relationship became a nightmare. She developed complications, and her situation deteriorated noticeably every week. I’ll spare you the emotional stuff, but throughout March and April, I watched her pain and constantly had to administer various medicines. She went from being a beautiful Asian woman to one tormented with pain. But almost to the end, she was determined to beat the cancer. It was not until mid May that she seemed to accept that she was approaching the end. She had by now the appearance of a heavily pregnant woman but with an upper body that was skin and bone.
By the end of May, she was admitted to the hospital, where she passed away. I can never forget that call from the nurse at 2:00 a.m. telling me that she had died. My grief was off the scale. The next few weeks were a nightmare journey for us both, and after she was buried, I began to see that I should have reacted last year when she complained of being ill. I could have saved her and should have done.
The Message
A message to your followers, Peter: guard your partner’s health, and if a situation does not seem right, do not dismiss it. Ovarian cancer is a silent killer of women. Read up on all the signs of it and take action. Do not do not be like me and believe that there is nothing wrong. If my story saves even one woman, it will have been worth writing it to you.
I have been sitting in my hotel room in Sukhumvit for many days, thinking. In a few days, it will be 6 months since she died. The pain still lives in me. Long term spouses cannot imagine you cannot imagine the grief that the loss of a partner can have. My wife of 56 years and soulmate of 60 years is no more, and life no longer has meaning for me. What’s more to live for?
Please don’t comment about self pity in me you have to have been here. While I now know.
