Am I Being Played By My Thai Girlfriend?

My story starts when I met a Thai woman through work in my country, England.

I had never even considered to visit Thailand before I met her.

She had been in the UK for about 10 years, she originally married an Irish man and moved to Ireland to be with him, but later divorced.

I had also been through a divorce, I had a good job and I was in my early 50’s.

The Beginning of My Relationship With A Thai

When we first met, we went out for a few dates then later our relationship developed into something more serious.

At first she was a very sweet and loving girl, she was very kind and shown me a lot of affection.

On many occasions, we would lie in bed and she would tell me things about Thailand, which slowly made me very curious about the country.

About 10 months to a year into our relationship, she started going out a lot more with her Thai girlfriends into the city.

Many times she would have to apparently nip out to go to a friends for something.

obviously she had someone else on the go.

She would party all night and not even bother to contact me to say what time she would be coming home.

Not long after that, I realised that this relationship was not going to work and I called it quits, we broke up after a year together.

I wasn’t a broken heart man looking for new love or something like that, we had only been together a year so it was pretty easy to break up and move on.

The Seed Was Planted: My First Trip to Thailand

But going back to when she used to tell me about Thailand.

It really did plant a seed, and made me very curious.

We broke up in the winter, and by the following summer, I had booked a long trip to Thailand. 

In my head, I wanted to travel all over and see as much as I could. I also wanted to meet some Thai women, obviously.

I don’t know what I was exactly looking for, not marriage or a life partner at that point, but maybe just some company.

Meeting Thai Women Online Before the Trip

With that plan in mind, I joined a few Facebook groups where foreigners could start chatting with Thai women.

I started to make a lot of friends on there, but 99% of them were after money and most, if not all of them were bar girls.

A lot of the bargirls even said they would travel with me, but I would have to pay their barfines so they can leave work.

At that time, I did not know what a bargirl or barfine was, but after a quick google search I realised it was just paying for companionship.

The idea to travel with a Thai women did sound nice, but not as nice as experiencing the single life over there, so I declined all the bargirls requests.

I was not having much look looking for Thai girls on the Facebook group, so I decided to give up and just told myself ill find a girl once im there.

But Two days before I was to travel to Thailand, I got a message from one of the Facebook groups from a beautiful 27 year old.

We started chatting and had a sense of chemistry when we would talk.

I did not want to waste time, so I asked her straight if she is a bargirl or anything like that.

She stated that she has never worked in a bar and lives with her parents in a village, but also has a place in Pattaya.

Remember, I had never been to Thailand, I did not know what Pattaya was like or what girls that live there are like.

So her telling me she had a place in Pattaya, did not set any alarm bells off at the time.

She did however tell me that she has a son with a farang, but that they had broke up a long time ago.

I liked her honestly, she could have straight up lied to me, but I feel like she was telling the truth.

Our First Meeting in Bangkok City, The Heart of Thailand

We only had 2 days chatting before I was meant to fly, so I asked pretty quickly if she would like to meet so we could make plans.

She agreed to meet me in Bangkok where we would spend a couple of days and then fly to Phuket for the rest of the week.

Once I arrived in Bangkok, it was in the early hours of the morning so we agreed to meet later in the evening at a restaurant near my hotel.

The Bangkok heat was something else, I tried to go for a walk to pass some time but had to go back to the hotel, I was panting like a dog.

When It was finally time, I got to the restaurant for our first meeting and I was a sweaty nervous mess.

However, she looked absolutely beautiful.

Exploring Bangkok’s Nightlife Together

The first date couldn’t have gone any better, we instantly connected and chatted the whole night.

After the restaurant, she wanted to show me what the night life is like there so she took me to Soi Cowboy. 

I was absolutely blown away, girls everywhere, as well as many tourists.

We went into one bar where she seemed to know one of the girls there, they made a big fuss of us.

The girls on the stage were gorgeous, for a second I wished I was there alone.

One of the girls that my girl knew came and joined us for a couple of drinks.

When it was time to pay and leave, that’s when I learnt about lady drinks, something I was not aware of at the time.

Even though I spent more than expected in that bar, I still had fun, and the girl I was with seemed happy.

The second night together she took me to Nana Plaza.

This place was even crazier than Soi Cowboy, you are really spoilt for choice in there.

Again, its a great place to go if you are single and alone, but as I was with someone the most I could do was look at girls on stage.

From Bangkok to Phuket, A Week of Fun

After 2 days in Bangkok, we flew to Phuket for the rest of the week.

Now in Phuket, she took me to Bangla Road, the famous walking street there.

This girl was quite the party animal, it was both fun and tiring for me.

Bangla was also fun but it is jam packed, there is even families walking around there even though its a nighttime entertainment zone.

To describe it, its like a bigger better version of Soi Cowboy in Bangkok.

We got so much cramped into 1 week, and I was so grateful that she shown me around from temples, to Thai food, it was such a great time.

The Sudden Family Emergency

Then all of a sudden, she got a phone call saying there had been a family emergency and she had to fly back north.

She asked me if I could give her 10,000 baht and a flight back to her home.

Of course, I was worried for her so I gave her the money, everything sounded legit.

I did not want to ask her what the problem back home was, as its not any of my business, I just knew it was some family thing.

However, rather than flying from Phuket to her home, she said she needed to fly to Bangkok, and then drive to Pattaya to pick some sort of documents up from her place, then head back to her home.

Instead of asking me to come with her, she just said I can fly to Bangkok with her and then wait for her there, she would only be gone a couple of days.

This did not really raise any eyebrows because so far I have been having fun with her and had no reason to doubt her.

Anyway, I flew with her to Bangkok and off she went to Pattaya and then home. Apparently.

Alone in Bangkok Exploring the Nightlife Solo

For the next week I was by myself in Bangkok, just doing a bit of exploring, a bit of drinking and a whole lot of walking.

And of course, I did what every guy alone in Bangkok should do, I headed to Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza.

It was totally different now I was alone and not with a Thai girl.

I was getting the famous “Handsome Man” everywhere I walked on Soi Cowboy.

The girls stood outside the bars trying to get you in, with what they were wearing im surprised they didn’t catch a cold.

I went into one bar that I can’t remember the name, it was on Soi Cowboy, and there was this mature woman on stage.

I can’t fully describe what she were doing, but let’s just say that some ballons were being popped, and she wasn’t using her hands to pop them.

After Soi Cowboy I headed to Nana Plaza for the second time.

I ended up going into some type of rock bar called Angel something, my kind of music and girls.

Nana Plaza is full of nice girls, but I liked it in there the most, tattooed, rebellious looking girls.

However, I did not go with any girls or take any home, just incase my girl came back.

Plus, I did like my girl so I did not want to do anything to mess that up.

Also, Im getting on a bit, I don’t think I’d have the stamina for any of these beauties, sad but true.

No shame getting older, but not fun either.

The Suspicion Begins

The whole time I was away from my girl, I was lucky if I got 2 or 3 text messages from her each day.

As days went on, I started to think that she was not actually going to come back to me and the 10,000 was just a scam pulled before she headed back to Pattaya.

Paranoia got the better of me, and I decided to check her Facebook page to see if I could find anything out.

I noticed that she had been flirting a little on her pictures with another man that seemed to be located in Pattaya.

He would comment on everyone of her pictures and she would reply with them little emoji things.

Maybe he was just some random guy that added her on Facebook, or maybe there is more too it.

My suspicion was there that she had gone to Pattaya to meet him, but because I had no proof, there wasn’t much that I could actually do.

Her Unexpected Return with Family

3 days before I had to leave Thailand, she returned with her son and her step father.

Suprsingly, she never informed me that she would be coming back to Bangkok with her step father and son.

It was a little strange, her son sharing a hotel with us and her step dad, that did not look old enough to be with her mother in a separate room, that I of course paid for.

With her son in the same room, it limited the time that me and her spent together.

I did question why they were both here and she told me that her mother was in hospital so her son had to stay with her, and her step dad had to be in Bangkok for some reason, I did not really understand.

I asked her why we did not just go to her families home, and she said she had not long broke up with her ex and did not want the village to start gossiping about the new farang. 

The Final Days in Thailand

We tried to make the most out of my last 3 days there, despite the situation.

It just felt really strange, we would go out to eat in the day then just lounge around at the hotel.

Of course, I would now be paying for everyones food and hotel rooms.

I would have liked to have gone out at night together as I kind of enjoyed the night life in Bangkok around Soi Cowboy.

Obviously we now couldn’t do that as her 4 or 5 year old son was with us.

On the morning of my last day, we left the hotel, she did give me a kiss and thanked me for everything, as did her step father and son.

I paid a taxi for them to go back to Pattaya and I headed to the airport.

The Financial Support For A Thai Woman Begins

When I got back to the UK, we continued to chat, and keep in contact almost every day.

As days turned into weeks and we stayed in contact, I am starting have big doubts about her intentions.

There is nothing really out of the ordinary happening, and she claims that she is my girlfriend, but deep down inside I know that I am being played.

Even though I have no proof that im being played, I just feel it.

This part might make some of your viewers cringe a little inside.

Over the past 6 months, I have sent in the region of 70,000 baht to help support her and help out when she needs it.

She has told me she is not working and struggling to find work and supporting her son on top of everything.

I am currently paying her rent in Pattaya, and send her money every week to do shopping for her and her son.

Red Flags and Financial Requests

She claims that she has to pay 20,000 a month for her car, which to me sounds like a lot of money.

If she did not have a lot of money, why would she commit to buying a new car for 20k a month, doesn’t make sense.

It’s also not like she uses it much, I haven’t known her to travel around in the last 6 months.

She tells me that the only income she has is from her parents that own a small business and does kind of ok financially. 

They apparently help her when she needs it but they don’t give her much.

Living in Pattaya Is A Cause for Concern

For the past 3 months, she has been at her place in Pattaya with her son.

Ive asked why she don’t send her son to stay with her parents like most Thai girls do.

She says that if she did that then she would have to send money back to her parents for looking after her son.

Her parents are still working anyway so they wouldnt have time to look after her son I guess.

The first thing I did when I learnt that she would be staying in Pattaya is do some research about the place.

The things ive read that happens there sound unbelievable, sounds like a paradise for single men.

But that however did not put my mind at ease that my so called girlfriend is staying in the largest adult playground in the world.

Of course, I think the worst when she is in Pattaya, obviously I am thinking she is working there but surely she can’t be freelancing while her son is there?

Social Media Red Flags

Back to her Facebook account, I can see her friends list and it’s just full of western guys.

It’s literally hard to find and Thai friends on her account.

And the pictures she posts, let’s just say, you would not think she is in a relationship.

Some of them are borderline and im surprised Facebook did not take them down.

I told her that if I am her boyfriend then she should change her relationship status from single to in a relationship with me.

I only wanted her to do that so the other men on her profile can see she is in a relationship, not like it would of stopped them from trying.

She of course hit me with the excuse of she does not want the world to know her business.

Which I assume translates to “I don’t want other men thinking that I am not single”

The Visa Request and More Financial Pressure

Also, she told me that she wants to come to the UK this winter, and insists that she needs to have 100,000 baht in her bank to show the embassy while applying for a tourist visa.

I did a little research on that, and couldn’t find anywhere that it stated someone needs 100,000 baht in their bank.

I did find that proof of money in the bank is required but apparently that is my bank, and there were no set amount that I needed.

Am I Being Played By My Thai Girlfriend?

So, I guess im looking for some advice, even though I think I know the answers already.

I kind of want to believe that everything she has told me is true and im just a paranoid farang, but I have big doubts.

She does ask me for money a lot, but I think in my head I justify it by thinking she is supporting her son while she is not working.

I would rather be helping her out financially than her working in a bar or doing the whole freelance thing.

But even though I am retired and well off, I still don’t want to just be an ATM for her.

Manipulation and Emotional Blackmail

When I do not give her money, she gets really angry and goes crazy at me, telling me I don’t love her and just using her.

She tries to make me feel guilty, kind of manipulating me really, but from what ive read, that is just how Thai girls act.

They really know what to say and how to pull on your heart strings, you are always the bad guy if you don’t do what she wants.

Sponsor or Boyfriend?

If any of you listeners have made it this far, I want to ask, am I this girls sponsor now or her guinue boyfriend?

At first I trusted her and thought this is just how Thai girls work and the culture over there, but as the requests for money just keep coming im now having second thoughts.

Do you think she has more guys like me on the go that is supporting her?

She tells me that she has made mistakes in the past and she is not perfect, like everyone else in the world, but claims she really does love me and wants me as her boyfriend.

I am no said, I have also made bad descions in the past and have made more mistakes than I can count, so I don’t really judge someone on their past.

Pattaya Is A A Forbidden Destination

I have never been to Pattaya, and when I brought up the idea of me visiting her and her son there, she was 100% against it and told me we can go anywhere in Thailand but she does not want me going there.

She says that its because no matter what I look like or my age, there will always be girls trying it on with me and she would get really jealous.

When I first went to Thailand, I did like the idea of me meeting a Thai girl for maybe just a holiday girlfriend or something, but never thought I would be in this position.

It was not my intention to get in a relationship or become someones sponsor, but then again, is it ever anyones intention?