The Phone Call – A Lesson in What Bar Girls Say
My friend Dave and I were in Bangkok, and we were going to Hua Hin. We are lazy, so we decided to get a taxi. I know the train and bus are a lot cheaper, so we went to reception at the hotel. They got us a taxi, and we negotiated a price of about 500 baht. We left the hotel in Bangkok about 10:00 a.m. and arrived at our hotel in Hua Hin about 1:30 to 2:00 p.m.
It was a Syrian hotel right next to the McDonald’s in Hua Hin, about a five minute walk from Soi Bintabaht. It is a basic hotel, it is dated, but like all budget hotels I’ve stayed in in Thailand, the rooms were very clean. We checked in. I said to Dave, “I’ll show you around.” It was about 2:30 by this time. I had been to Hua Hin many times in the past, but it was Dave’s first time. So off we went exploring.
We turned left out of the front of the hotel, passing a 7 Eleven, and left again. We entered Soi Bintabaht from the Hilton end, and I said to Dave, “If you ever get lost, just look for the Hilton Hotel.” We passed multiple massage shops and all the ladies were saying, “Massage, ka.” Then a lady from one of the massage shops approached Dave. She looked about 50, at least.
This lady grabbed Dave by the arm, and Dave just looked at me with a look of terror on his face. I helped him out the only way a true and loyal friend would in this situation by crossing to the other side of the road and laughing at him hysterically, along with the other massage ladies (which were drop dead stunners, by the way).
It took Dave a couple of minutes to get away from this lady. At this point, I was in so much pain from laughing at him. I asked him, “What did she say to you?” He said, “She offered me a full-time massage for 1,000 baht an hour. I said no. She then said 900 baht. I again said no. She then said 800 baht and then 700 baht. Finally she said 600 baht final price. I said no, I just want to go, and I pulled my arm away.”
Back then, 600 baht was about 13 pounds; that’s about 15 to 16 US dollars. I said to him, “What a deal! You should have gone for it right then.” He said, “Yeah, right.”
NRG Bar and the Bar Fine
After a walk around, we went back to the hotel for a swim in the pool. About 6:00 p.m., we went for dinner, and then we headed to Soi Bintabaht again. We entered from the Hilton end once again. We went to a few of the bars, but nothing special. It was about 10:00 p.m. now. We came across a bar called Energy the bar was actually NRG Energy.
There were about four or five girls at the front who called out with the usual “Welcome, ka.” We asked the price for Leo beer, they told us, and we went into the bar. The ladies then sat us down where we chose and asked what we would like to drink. They got our beers and started talking to us with the usual questions: “Where you from? How long time in Thailand? You have girlfriend yet?” Already they did not ask if it was our first time in Thailand, and we both speak a little bit of Thai just the basics.
I was attracted to one of the girls, and Dave was attracted to a different girl. After about two hours, Dave asked how much for a bar fine for the girl he liked. She said 300 baht. He said okay he bar-fined her. I knew he wanted to leave with a lady. He asked me if he could borrow my bum bag. Dave had been teasing me about my bum bag for two days calling me a nancy boy and now he wants to borrow it. “Otherwise, I can’t go back to the hotel right now,” he said. “I will have to wait, as I need the bum bag to cover something embarrassing when I’m walking back to the hotel.”
I said to him, “Look Dave, I would, but that would mean I would have to take everything out of the bag and carry the contents in my pockets and that is just such a big effort. So sorry, I can’t let you borrow it.” (I had only two things in my bag my wallet and my asthma puffer.)
After about 10 minutes, he left. I stayed and talked to the lady I liked. I said to her, “I’m drunk now, but what time do you start work tomorrow?” She said 5:00 p.m. I said, “I will be here at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow.” Then I said, “How much bar fine?” She said 300 baht. I then said, “How much for a long time for her company, to spend time with her outside of the bar?” She said two and a half thousand baht. I said, “Okay, see you tomorrow,” and I left.
The Morning After
The next morning, Dave and I met up for breakfast. Dave said, “Thanks for letting me borrow your bum bag last night. I had to walk behind the girl as close as I could. Thanks.” I said, “Any time. No problem. Glad I could help you,” laughing.
At 5:00 p.m., I went back to the bar. I waited for about five minutes, and she turned up. She said, “I not think you come. Many men say they meet me, but they never do.” After about one hour, I said to her, “Do you want to go for dinner?” She said, “Yes, I hungry. Where do you want to eat?” She said those famous Thai bargaining words that you keep hearing “Up to you.” We then went and had dinner.
After dinner, she said to me, “It’s Loy Krathong tonight. I want to do.” I said, “Okay, no problem.”
(For those who don’t know, Loy Krathong is a Thai festival where you have a kind of small wreath of flowers with a candle inside it. They light the candle and set the whole thing afloat on water normally a pond or a river.)
We headed to the beach, and of course she wanted to put the Loy Krathong in the water. She had to get one first and guess who paid for it. She did the Loy Krathong thing and thanked me for it. We then headed to the hotel.
The Phone Call A Lesson in What Bar Girls Say
The next morning, she said to me, “Can we eat together?” I said, “Sure.” About 11:30 a.m., she said, “I have to go to my room to put my clothes away for washing.” I said sure. Her room was near the bar, so I went and had a beer while I waited for her. After about 10 minutes, she returned.
There was a street vendor opposite the bar selling chicken noodle soup. She said, “I want. Do you want noodle soup?” I said sure. I gave her 100 baht, and she bought them and gave me about 40 baht change. It was so good, I wanted to kiss the lady that cooked the noodle soup but she’d gone.
There were about four other girls in the bar, all having food. One of the girls’ phones rang. It was a guy from Australia on a video call. The girl was only about a meter and a half away from me, and I could hear everything the guy said.
“I tried to call you at 8:00 a.m. your time.” She said, “I was at the temple with a friend, giving food to the monks.” He said okay. He said to her, “Did you get the money I sent you?” She said, “Yes, thank you, ka.” He then said, “I go bar with friends.” It was about 1:00 p.m. by this time, which would have been about 5:00 p.m. or so in Australia, depending on where he lived in the country. She said to him, “Do not go to the bar. You get another lady. I know you get lady. You not go, okay?” He said in a defeated voice, “I not go.”
He said to her, “But you at your bar.” She said the even more famous Thai bar girl words that you keep hearing: “I only come to see friends, serve drinks, and get lady drink. You know, I not go with man. I love you.” He said, “I love you, darling.” She then said, “Darling, I need 2,000 baht for phone. Can you give please?” He said, “But I just sent you 15,000 baht.” She said, “Please, I need it for a phone top-up.” It must have been the poor guy’s first time to Thailand when he visited as we know, you can top up your phone for as little as 30 baht in Thailand. But he agreed, and he said he’d send her the 2,000 baht.
After this girl had finished talking to him, I asked her, “How many farang give you money every month?” She said, “Two.”
A Final Observation
After the soup, the girl I was with asked me if she could come back to the hotel with me to relax maybe watch some TV. I said to myself, “Okay, better to go back to the hotel with some company a stunning looking lady rather than by myself.” She came back to the hotel room until about 4:00 p.m., when she had to get ready for her shift and go back to the bar.
I went back to NRG that night. I saw the girl I liked doing her thing. I felt like people watching by myself. She kept coming up to me though, putting her arms around me and kissing my cheek. I noticed the girl that was on the phone to the Australian guy she was with a guy, and yep, you guessed it she left with him.
One other thing I noticed: at nearly all of the bars, a lot of the girls are on their phones, not noticing potential customers. I know from the girl I met at NRG bar that all the girls had to put their phones in a locker before they started their shift, and as a result the bar was full of customers every night. A lot of them bought lady drinks. Unlike the bars where girls were constantly looking at their phones and ignoring potential customers, it is much nicer being in a bar with girls that do not have phones with them, as they are much more inclined to have a conversation with you rather than constantly looking at their phones for messages from their friends.
Another thing I noticed is that most of the girls told me they are from Isan which is a rural area in Thailand situated in the north of the country. Many of the Isan girls are not educated and, as a consequence, have very little work opportunities. It is very easy for a first time visitor to Thailand to judge these girls as lazy and looking for a quick buck. But what they won’t know is that most of these girls are not only supporting themselves and perhaps a child or two but in most cases they are sending money to support entire families. Without this money, those dependents would be in a very much worse off state.
Story Two Cultural Differences
No matter how much I prepared for my first trip to Bangkok, it just wasn’t enough. I’d read all the travel guidebooks, “do this, don’t do that, say this, don’t say that.” And although most of it was down to earth common sense (a department of which I do not tend to be lacking in), there were so many things that one just doesn’t account for.
You would be forgiven, when first experiencing a culture that is so different from your own, if, at first, like me, you thought, “Well, that’s a ridiculous way of doing something,” or “You’re not doing it right,” or “That just doesn’t make sense. The way I do it is far better.” The thing is, if you continue to think like that, you just don’t understand and never will.
Everyday things that might be described as a norm in my native homeland can be frowned upon in other countries, cultures, or any other society with different backgrounds. Sometimes the cultural norms are so extreme, you have to be very, very careful so as not to unintentionally offend. It works both ways, agreed. But when in Rome, do as the Romans do, right?
The Feet Rules
In the West, we tend to use our feet much more than for just standing and walking. We open and close doors with them, slide things across the floor with them. In fact, our feet are often used as another pair of hands if our hands are full. For example, we will quite freely use them to point to things or to hold the door open for someone.
I was soon to find out in Thailand that to use the foot for anything else other than standing upright, walking, or running is genuinely generally unacceptable, and therefore to the point to point your foot at another person, or more specifically to place or point a foot anywhere near another person’s head would surely cause great offense.
Actually, in truth, I had been aware of the feet thing for some time. Because, for once in my life, I had taken the trouble to listen and learn something from my elder brother. He (having spent so much time in Thailand) had warned me of the many potential cultural hazards. The old so wise one had given me the feet rules and how not to use them.
It was with these (and many other potential cultural hazards) in mind, having only been in Thailand for less than 48 hours, I managed to go and put my foot in it, literally.
The Market Incident
So there we both were my sweetheart and I in the midst of the hustle and bustle of one of Bangkok’s busiest markets. I just couldn’t believe the sheer size of the place. For me to try and describe it would be doing it an injustice. Suffice to say it was just an endless kaleidoscope of colors, smells, and sounds. The crowds were just packed with intriguing characters of every kind, selling absolutely everything and anything you could imagine from the latest in the techno world and gaming to pet crocodiles and monitor lizards. You name it, they had it.
As the midday sun reached its highest point, we somehow miraculously found a small shaded clearing where some guy had carved out a space to throw down numerous mobile phone cases. It didn’t take him long to see the Thai girl walking towards him with his “foreign wallet” me. I wasn’t really in the market for a new phone case, but the prices he was asking for them well, it wouldn’t have even bought me an ice cream back home. Plus, the shady area we had now found was worth it.
As I stood over the array of various shapes, sizes, and colors of phone cases wondering which one would actually fit my phone, some Thai guy with the look of Jackie Chan came along and sat beside me and showed similar interest in the cases. He decided to take a closer look and, in doing so, crouched down knees bent and perched on his toes. He became delicately balanced in a squatting position. The seller immediately took a similar pose opposite him.
Nothing registered at this point in my head as to regards any of the aforementioned do’s and don’ts. As I looked down, towering over the two of them, I noticed a phone case which remotely looked as if it might fit my phone. I turned to seek out my sweetheart’s approval, but as I was too idle to bend down oblivious to anything and, without a second thought, I raised my right leg and pointed my foot towards the phone case in question.
This Is Where It All Went Horribly Wrong
A look of sheer horror was on my sweetheart’s face. I looked back towards where I was pointing with my foot. Pointing with my foot? My god. It was only then that I realized that my big toe was protruding out of the end of my sandal, and it was right beside Jackie Chan’s right earlobe.
It all happened in a matter of seconds but seemed like an age. It was one of those moments when time seems to just stand still. The world was closing in on me as six sets of eyes were now all focused on yours truly. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. What the hell was I doing?
The guy crouched opposite was now unrecognizable as the guy who once held the bright eyes and cheeky grin. His smile now long gone, his face now held the facial expression of fear somewhat resembling the one my sweetheart had just thrown me. I looked down as I started to draw my foot away from Chan’s head. He turned to face me and, with a slight tilt of his head, we met eyes and he glared. If looks could kill, I would have been dead a thousand times over. It was as if I had walked up to him and stuck my middle finger right up in front of his face while yelling at him to go off himself.
Why did I feel so bad? It was a simple mistake anyone could make. The thing is, you really had to be there to feel the negative vibes. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. I had broken the feet rule big time. I felt a tear in my stomach. The thought of upsetting a local (and my ignorance) was bad enough. The thought of upsetting a potential martial arts expert was most certainly not good.
The Escape
What should I do? What would you do? I had to think quickly on my feet as it were. Pardon the pun. My brain was scrambled; I couldn’t think straight. I looked for some kind of signal from my mentor. Surely Shu would know how to handle this delicate situation? She, after all, was Thai. But by the time I turned to her, she had scarpered. She’d run away. Yes, she had taken the initial initiative and legged it a few meters away, from where she was now beckoning me over.
Okay, so the way I saw it, I had three options. One: mercifully apologize and beg for his forgiveness. Two: play stupid and hope he takes some pity on this brainless foreigner and just hope he doesn’t drop me on the spot. Or three: do a runner. But a third option wasn’t really an option there really wasn’t anywhere to run to.
I did what any decent, British, responsible, and respectable English guy would do under such circumstances. I played dumb. My lips closed together, tightly smiling, eyebrows raised with a slight hint of embarrassment, and a dazzled look of stupidity in my eyes. My simpleton look was well and truly once again in place. I slowly retreated, stepping backwards as if walking away from a grizzly bear no sudden movements.
Mercifully, it seemed to work. Jackie Chan’s piercing glare turned to one of just disgust, and with a slight shake of his head, he just turned back towards the phone cases and the incident was over.
However trivial it may seem to us as Westerners, I’m almost certain he will remember my ignorance to this day. I most certainly did not do the foreign tourists any favors that day. I walked over to my sweetheart looking like a scolded cat and trying desperately to claw back some self-respect. I apologized to her, hoping it would compensate in some way. She was not impressed, highly disappointed that I could have done such a thing. Despite apologizing profusely, all my words just seemed to fall on deaf ears.
There is no moral to this story. The only point being: if you have never suffered from culture shock, Thailand is a great place to start, in my opinion. Read all you like, but it is impossible to fully understand another’s culture without first hand experience. The best we can do is to be sympathetic towards it.
I Guess I Was In His Debt
I guess I was in his debt for accepting my innocence which was very lucky for me.
Story Three The One in a Million Bar Girl
My name is Darren. I was born in New Zealand and spent most of my time in Australia. I’m 50 years old.
Around the late 1990s, one of my best friends, Steve, started going to Thailand, eventually moving to Thailand in 2001. Steve was managing various bars in and around Pattaya. At that point in time, Thailand never really interested me, but my friend kept telling me to go there because I would have the time of my life. Eventually, early in 2007, I gave in to his persuasion and set myself up for a holiday.
I had a two week stint with my Australian girlfriend in tow, and we had a really good time. It was great seeing Steve again. However, I became addicted to Pattaya it was like a drug. The time went so quickly; it was like a blur. None of the go-go bar girls stood out in this trip they were all pretty much the same in my eyes but they were all fun to chat to.
After I arrived home, I was lucky enough to be in a good position to be able to head back to Pattaya alone for a month. The second I landed, I went to Shamrock Bar which was the bar that Steve was running at the time. I didn’t even check into a hotel or tell him I was arriving. The look on his face was priceless. He just smiled and said, “Let’s go.” I looked at the time it was now 1:30 p.m. I said, “Why not?” Dropped my bags behind the bar, and we headed off to Soi 6.
Most of my early days in Pattaya had the same routine: Soi 6 in the daytime, then Walking Street in the evening.
Meeting Song
One night, I went into a go-go bar called Misti’s. I was looking around to see who the lucky victim was this evening when I noticed a really sweet looking girl on stage. I invited the girl to my table for a drink and asked her if I could pay her bar fine so that I could spend time with her outside of the go-go bar. She was really lovely. I said, “Let’s get a motorbike taxi to my hotel” which was near Soi 6. She said, “No, I have got my own motorbike.” I said, “That’s great.” And then asked, “What’s your name?” She told me her name was Song.
Song was not too old I was 37 back then. Song told me that she’d been working in Pattaya since she was 20. I did some quick math and figured out that she’d been entertaining male visitors to Pattaya for quite a few years which must have explained the dead look in her eyes when I met her. I don’t normally try to engage these girls into conversation too much, as their English isn’t usually pretty good and it always turns out to be too much hard work. However, saying that, Song turned out to be really good company, and I really enjoyed my evening with her.
The Motorbike Trip to McDonalds
In the morning, Song was sleeping very deeply in such a way that only Thai bar girls do. I wanted to nip out and thought, as Song was sleeping, she would not mind me borrowing her motorbike. So I grabbed her keys and headed off to McDonald’s for some breakfast. I got back an hour or so later, and Song was still asleep. She looked so sweet lying there.
When she finally woke up, we had cold coffee from the fridge and just started chatting as best as we could communicate. I don’t know what it was perhaps being in the company of a beautiful girl that many men spend time watching her dance but for some reason we both decided that we wanted to stay together for a while. Other than nipping out to get food, we spent the next three days in my room which was bliss.
A Different Kind of Arrangement
Song asked me how long I was staying in Pattaya. I told her a few more weeks. She said, “Look, pay the three days bar fine that I have spent here with you already. Then I’ll go to work tonight and tell the bar I’m sick I’ll come back here.” I said, “Sure. But every evening I’m going to go out with my friend, but I will come back and meet you here in the hotel. I’ll give you 1,000 baht every day, and you can do what you want during the daytime. We will meet back at the end of the evening.”
I told Song that we can just meet back here at the end of the night to which she agreed. And that’s exactly what happened until the time my holiday was over and I had to head back home.
Song in Australia
After being back home for two days, I received a message from Song asking if she could visit me in Australia. I said, “Sure. Do you have a passport?” She said yes and sent me the details. I applied for a visa, filling out the forms myself, sending them to her, and applied at the embassy myself. Within two weeks of submitting the application, we heard back that Song had been granted a three month visa.
Song had not asked me for any money which I thought a little strange but she did ask me to book and pay for her air ticket and then send it to her in Thailand, which I did. Song also asked me for a little travel money for taxis, food, etc. She had a stopover in Kuala Lumpur for nine hours the ticket worked out cheaper doing it this way. We continued to talk every day by social media.
Later in the year, I applied for another visa for Song, as we were still getting on great be it by social media. I managed to get her a full year visa for Song this time with unlimited re entry to the country during the term of the visa. Being in Australia was never an issue for Song; she had no problem with family and friends and the like. She seemed to fit right into it. Song eventually stayed, secured a job, and worked in Australia until 2010.
Life Back in Thailand
Eventually, we both decided that we wanted to head back to Thailand on a full time basis. When we arrived back in Thailand, we eventually opened a small Thai restaurant. Later on, we also opened a small motorbike park shop next to the restaurant. This continued until about 2014, and life was pretty good.
Around late 2014, Song started bodybuilding, competing in 2016. She gathered quite a following on social media.
However, it wasn’t all plain sailing. I don’t want to rain on her parade, and I will always regret this but another friend of mine, Phil, asked me to join him on holiday to the Philippines in 2013, and I went with him. Phil and I had a great time. Song knew what I was up to, and I got a girl pregnant. I told Song, and she was absolutely devastated. But we were able to overcome this and still remain together.
13 Years Later
13 years later, as unbelievable as this story might sound (even I have to pinch myself sometimes and remind myself that I went on holiday to Pattaya and a bar dancer is still with me today, 13 years later) she never asked me for any big money like the horror stories we hear about. She never asked me to help her family. Being much more mature than I was back then, I realized I had found that so elusive one in a million bar girl and I will never mess up with Song again.
As I look at Song’s face fast asleep on our couch in our home, I wonder how many of the girls working in Pattaya would love to trade places with my girl Song.
