The Go Go Girl Who Became a Wife

I stopped full time work when I was 55 and came to Asia on a cycling holiday through parts of Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia. Then I went to Pattaya to do a diving course and have some R&R after three weeks cycling. Naturally, I availed of what was on offer and had a great time with some of the female company. But one bar girl stood out from the rest. In addition to working in a go go bar, she was also doing courses in English and computer studies. Her ambition to better herself impressed me, and we spent some regular time together.

As I now write books, I only really work for about six weeks a year, so I came back to Thailand for a few months, bought a small condo in South Pattaya near Friendship, and invited the Thai girl to move in with me. About a year later, I sent her on a one year course at a Bangkok hospital specializing in care for the elderly before we moved to the UK.

That was about 15 years ago. We’ve since then got married and spend most of our time in my house in a British seaside town, and also spend a few months each winter in Thailand. We’ve also been on a six month round trip around the world once, and we were doing that again once the COVID 19 crisis is over.

My Thai wife is a better skier than me. I think it’s because the Buddhist philosophy of reincarnation makes her unafraid to go rushing down the most challenging black ski runs that terrify me. She also beats me at tennis, and she cycles faster than me.

I gave her a fairly generous allowance for herself and to look after her family her two sisters and their children. However, as there’s a desperate shortage of carers in Britain to look after the elderly, particularly those with Alzheimer’s disease, my wife also has a full time job working in a care home here in the UK. Although she only gets minimum wage in Britain, this equals about 70,000 baht per month which is a pretty decent wage when converted to Thai baht.

Obviously, I can’t be certain we’d stay together until I am no longer in this world, but we’ve already been together for 15 years and to think that I met her in Pattaya and she worked in a go go bar.

Story Two The Photograph That Gave Her Away A Tale of Deception

I went online and chatted with several ladies in Chiang Mai. A lady from Lampang took my interest. I didn’t think she was a bar girl. On my arrival in Chiang Mai, we agreed to meet and go out to dinner. Things went on from there as they do. We did some tours in her car, and everything was good nice lady, mid 40s. I wanted to rent an apartment in Chiang Mai, and we drove around and looked at a few. Then she said, “Why don’t you move into my apartment and we’ll just split the expenses?” I checked it out it seemed like a pretty good area. I bought some furniture and a few bits and pieces.

A few alarm bells should have started going off because she said her car needed some work done and that she was looking for a shop to rent. I thought, “Car repairs, okay I don’t mind helping out because she was driving me around.” I had to go back to Australia and left a few things in the apartment, gave her 25,000 baht to help with expenses while I was away.

Now this is where the story gets good. About one week before I was due to come back, I got a photo message from her in a coffee shop. She said she was in Lampang. The next day I got another photograph from her in the same dress, and her hairstyle looked the same overlooking the Pai gorge. I know exactly where the photo was taken because I had been there a few times. In the photo, it was a smoky atmosphere (burning season, about March). So I asked her what she was doing up in Pai. She said she was there last Christmas.

I knew she was lying because I was there last December, and the atmosphere was clear. Also, she had on the same dress, and there was the arm of a foreigner in the picture. She tried sending me a whole lot of photographs of where she was at the time. Oh well another one bites the dust. I was not happy as I misjudged this woman, believing her to be different and decent. She wasn’t.

I ended up spending the rest of my trip alone, and I was pretty annoyed about the whole thing. To be fair, she was very unlucky because if it wasn’t for the fact that I had already visited the location of the photograph she sent me, I wouldn’t have known she was lying. She had no idea I had visited this location if she had, she would not have sent the photograph and most likely would have got away with it.

The Next Disaster Anong

You would have thought that I would have known better after that last episode. However, several months later, I was heading back to Pattaya and had a few girls contact me on the LINE app. One girl on LINE was quite aggressive and wanted to meet me immediately. She was attractive and again in her mid 40s. She told me that she was divorced from an Irishman (I later found out that she was still married to him). I said okay and agreed to meet her.

She told me that she worked in a bar. That alarm bell should have gone off immediately but they didn’t. I guess I was just excited at the thought of meeting her, and my guard was down. Anyway, I went to the bar and met her. She was very attractive and spoke good English. She told me that she had landed in Sisaket in Isan; her mother, sister, and six year old daughter lived in Chonburi. I bought her a couple of nice dresses, and we got on quite well. She said she wanted to look after me for the rest of my life. I know how stupid this is going to make me look, but I actually believed her as we seemed very compatible and were getting on great.

I had to go back to Australia, and this girl continued working at her bar. We communicated most days as it is so easy now with all these free apps available. About a month later, I came back and foolishly bought her out of the bar for 6,000 baht. Her name was Anong. We visited Pattaya on a short little holiday, but Anong was a heavy drinker and always wanted to stay out late drinking at my expense.

I told Anong that I wanted to go back to my townhouse in Chiang Mai. I thought this would break the constant cycle of heavy drinking and taking her out of the bar scene in Pattaya. I bought air tickets and flew up to Chiang Mai. Upon arriving, I tried to get a Grab taxi from the airport but then found out that Grab taxis are not allowed to come into the airport to pick up we had to walk outside to get a taxi. Anong got all hot and bothered and started verbally abusing me.

Trying to Make the Relationship Work

We arrived at a hotel (as I hadn’t taken over my townhouse yet), and Anong said that she wanted to go back to Pattaya right away. I said, “Fine, good riddance,” and I got her a taxi to the bus station. I stayed in Chiang Mai and met some other women to make up for lost time with this dreadful girl.

I would go back to Pattaya at some stage in the future. In the meantime, Anong kept contacting me saying that she wanted me back. She probably lost face with the other girls at the bar. This went on for about a week, and I eventually decided to head back to Pattaya. Another arrangement didn’t work out that night, so stupid me I relented and contacted Anong again. She wanted to go back to Chiang Mai and suggested she bring her girlfriend with her. So they came up on the bus. We had a pretty good time for a week. Then her girlfriend went back to Pattaya.

One month when I went back to Australia, Anong stayed with her daughter in Chonburi. I had to go to North America for four weeks. I suggested that Anong stay in the townhouse. I was good friends with a lady who owned a bar/restaurant, and she agreed to give Anong a job as a waitress. I never fully trusted Anong, so I told the lady to keep an eye on her and tell me if she started any nonsense.

Living Together and Staying in Contact

More About We communicated all the time again using the

We communicated all the time again using the LINE app. Anong had a motorbike to use. She was a good housekeeper and cleaned, cooked, and did washing. What I didn’t know was she was the worst nagger I had ever come across in Thailand it’s called “yak yak” all the time. I couldn’t do anything right. We rented a car and I drove some trips. Anong was the worst backseat driver I have ever met in my life.

The Final Straw

After I came back from North America, I thought it would be a good idea to buy a small car to get around and make some trips. Anong didn’t have a license, so I paid for her driving lessons. It’s quite difficult for a foreigner in Thailand to buy a car on credit, so I foolishly agreed to put it in Anong’s name. We ordered a new Honda Jazz and put down a small deposit. I then transferred a lot of money to Anong’s bank account but thankfully not all of it.

This went on for about a week, but the “yak yak” got worse. Finally, one afternoon, Anong received a message and went home. She wanted me to bring her some food. We used floor fans for cooling in the townhouse. I left a fan on downstairs to keep it cool and went upstairs for a shower. Anong came home, and I thought she would thank me for bringing her food not at all. She said, “Hope you turned the fan off upstairs.” I said yes. Then she said, “Why you leave fan on downstairs?”

I just erupted and left the room and went back upstairs. I was so angry I was hyperventilating. After a while, I calmed down and told her to pack her bags and get out. I’d had enough. I told her to keep the car deposit money I was not bothered. Anything was better than staying with her. I cancelled the car.

I returned to the house a few hours later. She had gone back to the bar. I messaged her that I wasn’t joking. I packed up some things and took off on a three day motorcycle trip. When I got back, Anong had moved out but I had decided to get out of the country right away. So I flew back to Australia that night.

Later, I found out from the female bar owner that yes, she had been cheating on me and she admitted that Anong was only ever in it for the money. Anong stayed on in Chiang Mai; she did not get back to Pattaya, probably because she lost so much face. I also found out later that she conned the Aussie guy she had been cheating on me with to get a visa to go to Sydney. Of course, that didn’t last long she came back within a month just long enough to get a picture at the Opera House and on a yacht in Sydney Harbour, all to go on her Facebook page to gain face with her friends.

Story Three The Thai Dose of Medicine A Friend’s Transformation

Around 2005, a friend of mine walked out of the High Court after separating from his wife after a long and painful journey. My friend had several children with his now divorced wife. He was 56 and very vulnerable. I suggested to him that he needs to get out there and start living again. There are lots of good things out there, and you just need to go out and find them. Easier said than done, I guess.

I told him I had a plan to dig him out of his misery, but he needed to work with me and it involved jumping on a plane to an unknown destination with no details available until arrival. I would be traveling with him and a colleague and, within reason, would guide him throughout the trip. All he needed to do was pay his way, and he would be advised on plans in due course before his departure date. He agreed.

Needless to say, my plan was to take him to Thailand and introduce him to fun and madness in his new life. I booked him on a business class flight. I also booked him into a tropical resort hotel in Pattaya for a few weeks, and we were now ready for a great holiday.

The Arrival

I got him to pick me up in a taxi I’m very organized and we go to the airport. We were sitting in the business class lounge being served drinks, with the best to come. At this point, my friend knew his destination with which he was totally unfamiliar. As anticipated, the questions started coming many and fast. My response continually was, “Shut up. No answers, no questions so no point.”

We arrived in Bangkok and taxied to the tropical resort, carefully chosen. I was familiar with it and knew the accommodation set up, and it was in a good area. I checked us all in, and he was directed to his room. He was told to put on a pair of shorts and a T shirt and be at reception within 15 minutes, as we were going on a trip for a few beers and a look around.

We headed off to a nearby bar and ordered some beers. I decided with my colleague that Pete would get a three day trial run after telling him all about the do’s and don’ts in Pattaya, and I would be keeping a close eye on him as it’s his first time well, not too close. After three days, I expected him to be able to handle himself without being scammed or conned, and he could go into free flow and I could step aside.

Anyway, first I got him what appeared to me to be suitable company at the bar, and he was blown away and had the time of his life. The next day, his head was in a spin and life was looking glorious. Day two, I introduced him to Thai cuisine, after which he had another great evening with a different female friend, and all went well.

The Turning Point

I think it was day three that things started to take a different direction. He took a shine to one particular girl whilst getting a massage. He saw the massage lady in a different light than the bar girls. She got really under his skin and was half his age unthinkable in his home country. The next day, we saw that she was holding his hand and found out that she was no longer working in the massage shop for the moment. Pete was now paying her wages as well as everything else so that she did not have to work and could spend all of her time with him.

Pete felt like a teenager again and was no longer sharing our company. He was slobbering all over her, and my colleague could not tolerate him. As we sat in our local Thai restaurant one evening, my colleague asked me to swap places as Pete was in his view with his girlfriend and acting like a doormat.

Pete started asking me a few questions about living in Thailand, as I discovered that he was compiling an annual cash flow on a spreadsheet his background was in finance to establish how long he could survive in the future in the Land of Smiles. His conclusion was 17 years bringing him to the graceful age of 73 based on his existing resources.

The Return Home

Fast forward Pete was obviously on the return flight with us back to the UK. He had a lot to think about when he returned home. He now had a girlfriend in Thailand half his age who he had spoiled rotten, and with whom he would have ongoing contact from abroad until he put his master plan in place.

So what happened next? On his return to England, he was offered some financial consultancy work by another colleague of mine, who introduced him to a mature bookkeeper who was churning out the numbers. She was of a similar age to him and he fell head over heels in love with her, and they lived happily ever after.

Well, up to the last point I met him which is in excess of 10 years ago. So what happened to Thailand? It vanished into the distance, and he never returned as far as I’m aware, and had no further contact with the Thai girl.

So was it the Thai dose of medicine that triggered the final result and jigged him up? Maybe we will never know. Other than the fact that Pete was now living life again after wasting 20 years in misery and got himself a future.