Lies Foreigners Tell In Thailand
Number 1 and it is an obvious one. When guys are talking to bar girls: “I’m not married. I don’t have a girlfriend.” Okay, that’s kicked it off.
Number 2 guys who go around telling everybody they’re rich when actually they don’t have anything. Or on the other flip side of the coin, you’ve got guys who tell people they’re poor and they’re living on a tight budget, but they’ve actually got quite a lot of money. There are quite a few people who do that.
Number 3 “I have friends in immigration. They sort out my visa for me and it’s all done for free.”
Number 4 “I just call the Chief of Police if I get into any trouble, as he is my friend.”
Number 5 “I’ve never paid for sex in Thailand.”
Money Visa And Police Claims
Number 6 “I’m loaded but have to pretend to be poor because the Russian mafia is after me.”
Number 7 Now, this next one I’m going to read to you, this is an outrageous one. Somebody actually told me this in Pattaya. I was in a bar, met a guy, had a beer. He wasn’t a friend of mine, just, you know what it’s like down there, guys, you get talking.
This guy actually said to me: “I’m an ex CIA and I’ve been in Special Forces as well, but keep that to yourself.”
Number 8 “My girlfriend never lies to me.” We’re talking about bar girls here. When we talk about the girls, it’s always bar girls, it’s not regular, respectable, decent Thai women. That’s totally different.
Number 9 “I speak fluent Thai.” You know these guys who can say things like “lek” and “yao” and things like that, one or two words. But they’ll tell you, “Yes, I’ve been living here five years, I speak fluent Thai.” When actually, if somebody did start speaking Thai to them, they’d get caught with their pants down.
Number 10 “All the Thai people round here really like me and they respect me.”
Relationship Excuses In Thailand
Number 11 “Age difference doesn’t matter in Thailand.” This is a good one.
Number 12 “The Thai guy with my girlfriend is her brother.”
Number 13 “My girlfriend isn’t a bar girl, she’s just a cashier.”
Number 14 “I don’t have a drinking problem. I just sit in the bars every day to socialize.”
Number 15 “Buying my wife a house in Isaan was the best move I ever made.”
Bar Girl Girlfriend Excuses
Number 16 “I have mafia connections in Thailand, so no one messes with me.”
Number 17 “I trust my Thai girlfriend with my life and my money.”
Number 18 “I’m so much smarter than these Thais.”
Number 19 “I don’t pay my bar girl girlfriend any money. I just let her…” The sentence trailed off, but you get the idea.
Number 20 “I let her work in a bar, but she always uses condoms with customers, but not with me.”
Restaurant Bills And Past Stories
Number 21 “If we go to a restaurant and three of her friends turn up, I don’t mind paying because it makes me feel special, and she said she respects me more.”
Number 22 “You might have come here for the girls, I certainly didn’t.”
Number 23 “My girlfriend worked in a restaurant before I met her.”
Number 24 “I’ve never been with a ladyboy.”
Number 25 “Even if I had no money, my ex bar girl girlfriend would never leave me.”
Final Claims From Pattaya Men
Number 26 “All the bar girls tell me their secrets because I am like a father figure and they trust me.”
Number 27 “I am the first foreign boyfriend my bar girl girlfriend has had.”
Number 28 “I’m not scraping by in Thailand on virtually no money. I just nip to the toilet every time when it’s my round because it’s a coincidence.”
Number 29 or 30 depending on how you count, the list had 30 items but the numbering got a bit mixed: “I’m a handsome man. I know this to be true because my Thai girlfriend told me so.”
