The Land of Broken Smiles

After visiting Thailand multiple times, I’ve met different kinds of Westerners.

There are the ones who are real and sincere, while others put on a fake act, and then, there are those who have become my friends for life.

I really enjoy chatting with new people and hope to make friends from all around the world whenever I’m in Thailand.

I’ve been to Koh Samui several times and got to know the island pretty well, over the years, I’ve made a lot of friends there too.

During a specific trip in 2014 to the island, I had the chance to meet a new friend who had recently relocated to Koh Samui.

His name was Dave, a guy from the northern part of England in his late 40s. He had been living in Thailand for quite a few years by then.

Opening A Bar In Pattaya

As I got to know him better, he shared that when he initially started coming to Thailand, his main destination was Pattaya, where he’d spend a week or two each time.

However, on one of his vacations, he crossed paths with a wonderful girl who sparked thoughts of a potential future together.

At that point in time, dave harboured a strong desire to make Thailand his permanent home.

This led him to take a significant step – he teamed up with his girlfriend from Pattaya and together, they opened a bar.

This move not only marked his commitment to Thailand but also demonstrated his willingness to embrace change and dive into new opportunities.

The idea behind opening the bar was to create a source of income that could provide dave and his girlfriend with a comfortable life in Thailand.

For a couple of years, dave found contentment in his life in Pattaya, managing the bar and cherishing his relationship with his girlfriend.

However, despite his efforts, the bar venture wasn’t as financially successful as he had hoped.

The money it generated seemed to mostly flow back into the bar itself, being invested in things like a new sound system, pool tables, and stocking up on supplies.

Running Out of Funds In Thailand

Moreover, dave mentioned that whatever funds were left over from the bar’s earnings often went towards supporting his girlfriend’s family.

Despite his dedication and hard work, the financial challenges of the bar business, coupled with the responsibility of assisting his girlfriend’s family, presented a set of difficulties for dave.

As time went on, the challenges of managing a bar and the associated concerns began to weigh heavily on dave, causing a lot of stress.

The business itself seemed like it was draining his finances rather than being profitable.

After spending a few years in this lifestyle in Pattaya, dave’s savings took a significant hit, and he realised that he couldn’t keep going like this for much longer.

After having a conversation about the situation with his girlfriend, dave came to understand that she wasn’t willing to acknowledge the difficulties they were facing.

It was at this point that he realised his best option was to step away from it all.

The bar had been registered under his girlfriend’s name, and he knew that the investments he had made were essentially lost.

With this realisation, dave made the decision to leave both his Pattaya girlfriend and the bar he had bought for her.

Leaving Pattaya and Moving To Koh Samui

He then set off for Koh Samui, with the aspiration of starting fresh and leaving behind the baggage of his past experiences.

dave had become acquainted with the expat community, which included some of my friends.

He had a friendly and positive demeanor, often found laughing, cracking jokes, and engaging in lively conversations within the bar setting alongside other expats.

As I got to know dave better, he confided in me about his financial situation. He revealed that he was running low on funds and was hesitant to return to the UK, especially given his years of living in Thailand.

The thought of readjusting to the fast-paced and busy lifestyle in the UK worried him. His expressions and the look in his eyes shown he really did not want to go back.

dave shared that he was anticipating a significant inheritance payout, which he believed would come through soon.

Becoming An Alcoholic In Thailand

However, his spending habits, particularly his frequent visits to bars, puzzled me that despite being low on funds, he continued to spend on drinks regularly.

It was strange to witness someone who was financially strained using up their remaining money for drinks nearly every day of the week.

Perhaps dave was holding out hope for his inheritance to arrive soon, banking on that as a solution to his financial constraints.

dave’s weight issue was something he should have addressed for health reasons as well.

For me, during my vacation, it didn’t really matter, as I planned to get back into my regular work routine afterward.

After my return to the UK for work, I later went back to Koh Samui around five months later.

Meeting up with my friends once again, dave reentered the scene.

While I was away from Thailand, I hadn’t tried to reach out to him, so when I saw him, I asked about how things were going for him and if his situation had improved.

Unfortantly, dave shared that he hadn’t yet received the inheritance money he had been counting on. There were disputes within his family, and he wasn’t even sure if the money would come through.

Wanting To Live In Thailand No Matter What

Despite these challenges, dave still seemed to frequent the bars and continued to drink regularly.
During my time away in the UK, dave had found himself a girlfriend, who would often accompany him to the bars.

Initially, she appeared pleasant, but a mutual friend informed me that she struggled with being an alcoholic which made me notice that both dave and his girlfriend indulged in heavy drinking and smoking.

This made me wonder how dave managed to sustain their excessive habits given his financial situation.

Later on, dave shared with me that he had borrowed money from other expats and even some locals in Thailand.

Opening A Bar In Koh Samui – Last Resort

A few days after our conversation, I saw dave again and he mentioned his plans to open a bar in Koh Samui.

He seemed optimistic this time around, believing that his bar venture would be more successful compared to his previous attempts in Pattaya.

He cited the lower rent for the Koh Samui location as an advantage and he had friends who frequented his bar and could assist him in recruiting staff, including the girls to work at the bar.

He was also proud that his girlfriend had previous experience working in bars, which he believed would give him a head start.

For dave, the idea of opening his new bar represented a chance to settle his debts and set his life on a better path.

A few weeks later, he indeed went ahead and opened a bar in Koh Samui. On the opening night, everything appeared to be off to a positive start – there were balloons, food, a DJ, plenty of girls, and a decent crowd of customers.

However, the promising beginning was followed by disappointing days.

After the successful grand opening, it seemed that only a few customers was seen in his bar. The initial excitement quickly faded, leaving dave with another struggling bar.

I made it a habit to visit dave’s bar frequently, mostly to show my support.

But, it was clear that the girls working there were growing tired due to the lack of customers. P

ete, on the other hand, often appeared intoxicated and didn’t seem to treat the girls with kindness – he would raise his voice at them quite often.

One specific evening stands out in my memory: I dropped by dave’s bar, only to find him barking orders at the girls, insisting that they dance on the poles and urging them to attract more customers. It was evident that dave was both frustrated and drunk that time.

Thai Girlfriend Resorted To Freelancing For Monee

His girlfriend wasn’t present at the time, so I inquired about her whereabouts.

dave’s expression turned sad, and he told me that a guy had come into the bar and paid to spend time with his girlfriend.

I was taken aback and asked, “But she’s your girlfriend!” dave explained that he was practically penniless and that this customer had offered a large sum for his girlfriend’s company.

Both he and his girlfriend were in dire need of money.

He recounted telling her to go through with it, as they needed the money. From my perspective, it was increasingly clear that the bar wasn’t going to be the solution to dave’s efforts to get his life back on track.

Even though I made an effort to visit his bar whenever I could during my vacation to show support, it was becoming evident that dave’s chances of success were slim.

After that particular visit, I went back home to the UK and worked my ass off again to save up for another trip to Thailand, which took place roughly six months later.

Ran Out of Money, Became A Poor Farang

Upon my return to Koh Samui, I found dave still frequenting the bars, but there was a noticeable change.

He wasn’t buying drinks for himself anymore; instead, he seemed to rely on friends or acquaintances he met to get him a beer or two.

And more often than not, someone would come through with a drink for him.

By this point, dave’s appearance had changed significantly – he was dressed in unwashed clothing and smelt of B.O.

I decided to buy him a few beers and asked about his situation. He shared that the bar hadn’t managed to generate any profits, and it had reached a point where all the girls who worked there had left.

Is It Time To Walk Away?

dave came to the conclusion that the best course of action was to walk away from it. Despite having limited options for making money, he was adamant about not returning to the UK, even though his circumstances were quite dire.

dave shared with me that his visa had expired and he was on overstay because he couldn’t afford to renew it.

His demeanor was notably sad, quite different from the lively and enthusiastic person I had initially met.

A friend also informed me that dave owed a considerable amount of money to both expats and locals.

This debt situation was putting him in a bad position, possibly even risking his safety if he didn’t manage to repay his debts soon.

Surprisingly, dave was still together with his girlfriend, who occasionally relied on others to buy her drinks. Her drinking problem persisted, and she had no money of her own.

It was disheartening to witness their desperate situation.

Some friends even mentioned that dave’s girlfriend engaged in short encounters with different men at times, which dave was aware of.

The overall situation was filled with sadness and desperation, making it a distressing scene to witness.

During that specific visit to Thailand, I did my best to help dave by buying him several beers when I could afford it.

His situation was truly dire. I offered some advice, suggesting that he consider returning to the UK, work hard, save up, and then come back to Thailand with a fresh perspective on life.

I mentioned that back in the UK, he could apply for unemployment benefits, ensuring he wouldn’t have to worry about basic necessities.

But it seemed dave was deeply fearful of going back to the UK and had a strong desire to stay in Thailand.

Broke and Old Farang, Go Home…

At this point, he was 50 years old and had no mon ey to his name. He had grown accustomed to the wonderful lifestyle in Thailand, making the prospect of returning to the UK daunting and even scary for him.

After that trip, I wasn’t able to return to Thailand for a while but when I finally did, I didn’t see dave around.

I asked a mutual friend about his whereabouts, and I learned that things had taken a severe turn for the worse.

dave had ended up sleeping rough on the streets, begging for food and drinks to survive.

Eventually, with no other option, he had to make the difficult decision to return to the UK.

A few locals and expats pooled their resources to help him pay off his overstay fine and buy a budget flight back home.

I later discovered that upon his return to the UK, he worked incredibly long hours as a taxi driver in an effort to repay all the debts he owed to various people.

dave also made an effort to save up for his eventual return to Thailand. However, I received news that he suffered a heart attack and passed away in 2016.

It’s difficult to imagine the immense stress and pressure he must have been under, dealing with all the debts and financial troubles he had accumulated.

It seems that dave was one of those individuals who developed a deep affection for Thailand, as many of us do. He aimed to create a better life for himself, but unfortunately, he came face to face with harsh realities when it was already too late, that Thailand has the potential to be challenging if you’re not cautious and well-prepared.