From a Freelancer to a Thai Wife Love Story
Upon arriving in Pattaya in the winter of 2017 with a couple of my friends for a four-week holiday they showed me how things worked in Pattaya and especially everything about the nightlife. Being my first time in Thailand I was warned by my friends “Do not fall in love with a bar girl especially in Pattaya.”
On my first night I was taken to the bright lights of Walking Street Pattaya and ended up in a notorious freelancer bar where the women outnumbered the men by it must be at least three to one. I was let loose in what I can only describe as a shop full of sweets not deciding which one to pick first. Having never experienced women staring at you and giving you the come on so readily was really a strange experience.
However one of my friends came to my rescue and suggested “Why not look around and just pick the prettiest one in the bar?” Taking his suggestion and after scanning around I decided to approach what I can only describe as a most beautiful slim dark-skinned girl a typical Asian looking woman with long dark hair that covered her face with the most gorgeous smile and a full set of perfect teeth with a diamond in a tooth that shone brightly as she smiled.
After a few drinks and dancing she came with me back to my hotel room for some more drinks. Her English wasn’t great but okay. We used Google Translate for the difficult words. We got on really well. After a few more drinks and some nighttime swimming in the pool we were both exhausted. My beautiful new friend stayed with me overnight but it was only to sleep and nothing else as said we were both very very tired. Waking in the morning to find this beautiful woman lying next to me was like I had gone to heaven and woke up with my angel next to me. I know that sounds corny but I was older than her so felt lucky anyway. I compensated her for her time we said our goodbyes and she left with a smile on her face.
For the following week or so we were out every night drinking and partying. Being older I had to admit to myself that I could not keep up this pace and would have to slow it down a bit. So I said I thought the second week I would try to meet a woman that I could stay with longer and maybe do a few tourist trips with as I still had three weeks left of my holiday. One of my new Thai friends introduced me to a nice looking woman a pretty girl who would take me out each day on the back of a motorcycle and we enjoyed the local sights such as temples beaches and we ate lots of nice meals together. I felt a little uncomfortable when out and about with this girl as I was quite a bit older than her.
I guess it’s normal for Pattaya but it was a strange feeling for me at the start.
Meeting a Freelancer in Walking Street
In my third week I decided to meet up with my friends and revisit the freelancer bar on Walking Street that I had visited on my first night. As soon as we arrived I noticed the drop dead gorgeous lady that I had met and took back to my hotel on the first night in Pattaya. After an hour or so I noticed she had not coupled up with anyone and watched as she seemed to ignore the attentions of other men who approached her. I approached her and apologized for the last time we had met for getting so drunk. She laughed and said it was okay. We then started to chat and again we got on just great dancing and drinking. We ended up back at my hotel room for some more drinks.
Once again I got on so much better with this girl than the girl who had been picking me up on her scooter each day so decided to come clean and tell her that I was not going to meet her again as I much preferred the company of this girl. I asked this gorgeous girl if she would like to remain with me for the rest of my holiday and of course I would compensate her for her time. I soon realized that this girl was after as much as she could get out of me and when I asked her “Do you even like me?” she said “No I only like your money.” I asked her to leave. She kept turning up at my hotel and knocking my door. Did she think that I was some kind of an idiot? Well I’m not.
In my short time in Pattaya I had learned from my friends how the bar girls generally take you for what they can get. One friend told me how he was with this girlfriend for over two years and was planning to get married after giving her twenty thousand pounds to set up home and she had disappeared. Another friend told me how his girlfriend managed to get £5000 out of him before she also disappeared. I thought I was not going to get caught out like this. Famous last words right?
Nevertheless my Thai girlfriend named Jit soon stopped asking me for extra money when I told her I did not have too much money left. Jit still stayed with me for the duration of my holiday which lasted for four weeks. During the two weeks with her I must admit it was the best time of my life partying and dancing eating out and visiting local tourist sites. This lady made me feel young again and I was a typical tourist “two week millionaire“ in her eyes.
At the end of the four-week holiday I got to know her reasonably well and I thought we became close. I said I would keep in touch when I got home and perhaps help her out even though I knew she was a working girl if you get my meaning. Arriving back home in the UK I kept in touch with Jit via Messenger and we talked on live stream almost every day. She said she missed me and asked when I would see her again. Considering it was now winter 2018 in the UK and it was freezing I made the decision to go back to Pattaya at the end of the month and meet up with Jit once again but only if she considered going back home to her village to wait for me.
Jit’s home was in Khon Kaen in the north of Thailand which is in a province called Isan. As long as I paid for her journey and gave her a little money to live on she agreed to wait for me. Being skeptical I really thought she wouldn’t accept my offer. Talking to Jit almost every day while she was at home in her village took away any doubts and worries that she was working back in Pattaya. After arranging my visit my visa for a three-month stay I booked my return ticket at the end of the month and asked Jit to meet me at the airport.
More Pattaya Lessons
Arriving at Bangkok Airport mid-February 2017 I had arranged for her to meet me at my gate. I had waited for three hours at our agreed meeting point at the airport and I thought I’d been stood up only for Jit to arrive holding a huge bunch of flowers and the biggest smile I’d ever seen. Jit told me that she had been waiting at the wrong place. Perhaps this was because of our language barrier so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and hoped that she had not simply come straight from Pattaya in a taxi.
The following three months went so quickly and we enjoyed each other’s company. I had no intentions of falling in love I just wanted a holiday girlfriend as I had reached my retirement age of 65. I have been married twice and after fathering a couple of children I felt that I had done my bit for humanity. During this holiday we had a fantastic time in Pattaya. We also traveled north and visited Jit’s parents in her village meeting her family and her friends. It became very clear to me why some girls would want to head to the bright lights of Pattaya to earn a decent living. Her family dirt poor have very little. I truly felt sorry for them. Their only income comes from long hours of toil working in the paddy fields.
Working in the bars was perhaps their only salvation and a glimmer of a better life hoping they would meet their white knight in shining armor. I suppose in a way I feel sorry for the countless thousands of women who have to work in Pattaya and in the bar business just to feed their families and a lot of the time a young child or several children that were abandoned by the father back at the village.
Perhaps it was because of this that I decided to rescue this beautiful lady from a life of freelancing in Pattaya. I was met by many skeptical friends who all said Jit would take me for my money and I was just one of many others who sent her money as soon as I was back in the UK and the list goes on. From all my so called friends all I knew is that I was very lucky to find such a caring Thai woman who was so beautiful that men turned their heads as she walked by. For those who are lucky enough to find a Thai girl they will soon discover that they look after their men far better than any Western woman would want to.
Again arriving back home to the UK we kept in touch on a daily basis. I would speak to Jit using a live stream podcast that way I knew she did not go back to her old life. It was difficult for a while but I persuaded Jit to come to the UK on a tourist visa just to see perhaps one day she may like to come and live with me. After a few complications trying to sort things out which I couldn’t in the end I used a company based in Thailand to help sort out the visa. It cost me about £500 but was worth every penny.
The main problem I faced when Jit arrived in the UK was customs at the airport as an overzealous customs officer would not believe her reason for visiting the UK and thought the worst I’m guessing mainly because of her lack of English. After a three hour delay they finally let her into the country after she persuaded the customs officer to phone me via her internet messenger to prove she was visiting a real person. Perhaps it was my fault as I had arranged a four month holiday for her but her visa stated three months. But in the end we were finally together once again.
A Night That Became a Blur
The next four months were again perhaps the best time of my life. I showed Jit the lifestyle of the Western world to the envy of my jealous friends. The funniest moment being one day after a snowfall we would walk in the park and she found it amusing that she could throw snowballs at strangers as they walked past and they wouldn’t say a word they just smiled. Jit said she saw this in the movies. I had to explain we don’t normally do things like this in real life. We had some great fun together.
It was during her stay that my gorgeous Thai girlfriend became pregnant telling me that it was the best thing to ever happen in her life and how she wanted a daughter so badly that one day her daughter would look after her in her old age just as she had done for her parents for so many years. I suppose it’s a tradition that we in the Western world can’t appreciate. It was heartbreaking that my beautiful Thai girlfriend was going back to her own country even though I tried to persuade her to stay in the UK explaining that our child would have a better life here away from the poverty of her village. But she felt a duty to her parents to go back and have our child in her own country.
During the next eight months we kept in touch as usual and I watched her blossom with her pregnancy. Her parents were there to help during this time apart. I needed to go back into employment so that I could save enough money to go back for the birth of our child being on a pension was hard enough anyway. Soon the eight months was over. I was on the first plane back to Thailand to be present at the birth. It was now fast approaching the end of 2019. After a long night of labour in November our daughter was born. And I must say that having experienced hospitals in the UK and in Thailand I know which one gives a better service. I’m sorry to say this but we could have learned a lot from the Thais.
Shortly after the birth we decided to get married so our daughter had my name and possible British citizenship. Traveling to Bangkok to the British Embassy on my own from the north was an experience and that was just to apply for the marriage certificate. Upon my return we got married in the local temple in Khon Kaen. It was quite an affair with just myself Jit and our baby present. It was almost clinical and formal affair just a couple of forms to sign and produce our IDs. That was it we were married. We plan to have a village party someday in the future to celebrate where I would offer a dowry to my new mother and father in laws.
It was now January 2020 and sadly my three month visa was about to expire and I had to return to the UK having only experienced the joy of our baby daughter for less than a month. Due to the 90 day visa and the 31 days in a month I was over my period of stay and was fined at the airport upon my exit. I was planning to go back later in the year to see Jit and our daughter but the dreaded pandemic struck and due to travel restrictions I was trapped in the UK. Watching our baby grow from afar is devastating. We talk every day and I can see the bond between mother and daughter grow. My biggest regret is not being there with them both.
It is now June 2021 and I hope to return when restrictions have ended hopefully by the end of the year. I will be with them once again. Our daughter will be two years old by the time I get back to Thailand. My biggest regret is not being in Thailand as my daughter is growing up. This worldwide pandemic has a lot to answer for but one thing is certain I will make it up to them when I can eventually return.
The Reason I Share This Story
The reason why I share my story is to show you that not all bar girls or freelancers are out to get what they can and that there are some genuine women who would dearly love to meet their knight in shining armor and given the time and patience love can conquer all barriers. In the meantime there is a wedding party to organize.
An Instruction Manual on What NOT to Do in Pattaya
This is an instruction manual on what not to do on a trip to Pattaya. Viewers will cringe when they hear what I did.
I was going through a divorce and so desperately needed some R&R. I had been to Pattaya once before with a previous Thai girlfriend I met in Australia. The Thai girlfriend and I split up or so I thought (more on this later). So I thought to myself divorce nearly done Thai girlfriend gone time to go to Pattaya and have a good time.
A nine hour flight from Sydney Australia and here I was in Bangkok. First mistake didn’t get a pink or yellow and green taxi to Pattaya downstairs on the first floor. I was approached by a number of touts but managed to ward them off as they asked for 3000 baht for the trip. Luckily for me a Pattaya regular took pity on me and said “Get a taxi downstairs.” To which the tout replied “Okay I will take you to Pattaya for 2000 baht.” I confirmed again with him that all I would pay is 2000 baht and he agreed.
We then walked to the multi story car park. I knew something wasn’t right but my fears were relieved somewhat when a gleaming new minivan pulled up being driven by a beautiful Thai girl who could speak perfect English. Another warning sign missed. I should have run then and there. I got in the van and thought “Things are looking up I couldn’t believe my luck.” Then a few minutes later her mobile phone starts ringing. Her English changed to Thai all of a sudden. I’m being told “Pattaya a long way you need to change car.” The van then starts heading down all these side streets into a grubby part of town.
Oh no I thought how could I have been so naive? Now I’m going to get robbed and wake up with one less kidney. Then the van pulled into a car park full of dodgy looking cars driven by equally looking dodgy characters. I was told to get out of the van and go into a clapped out old Volvo with some Indian guy. I protested but was quickly surrounded by a lot of these characters and I thought I’d better shut up for now. Then the tout cutie says “You have to pay 800 extra.” “No I don’t. The guy told me 2000. Call him and check” I replied. She apparently calls him and then says “No he said you have to pay 2800.” I protest again and I realize I’m being ripped off.
And then she says “You have to pay 800 or I have to pay him 800.” Stupid me completely naive again feel sorry for the girl so I pay the 800. What an idiot. I can’t believe that I was so stupid and was conned so easily. This was only my third visit to Thailand. We have all made the same mistakes I’m sure. But my ordeal doesn’t end there I still have two more occasions to be ripped off yet.
Trouble With a Driver
Finally the car starts to move and boy am I glad to finally get out and away from that place. The drive to Pattaya is uneventful except the driver takes back roads that I’ve never seen before and comes into Pattaya from the back. “Where’s the beach?” I think. Then my heart starts racing again I’m going to be robbed another kidney etc. So I start to freak out remembering all the stories from “Banged Up Abroad” (a TV series from back home). I tell the guy to stop the car now. He does and lo and behold right outside the VC Hotel not far from Walking Street. Silly me of course doesn’t realize that I’m so close to Beach Road that I should have been able to smell the cheap perfume from there and I wonder where the hell I am.
The driver says that he will get a good price for me at this hotel. Conned again come in spinner. I accept the deal as I just want to get out of the car. But needless to say I’ve probably just paid for his kids’ last three years at high school with this deal. I checked into my room not bad. “Would sir like to be upgraded for an extra 300 baht?” Yes so I would like to be conned again that’d probably have paid for his kids’ dental work too.
I go for a walk and I finally manage to find Beach Road things are improving. Walking along minding my own business this beautiful girl starts smiling at me. “What you doing?” I ask. “Waiting for you” she replies. She said “I go over the go with you.” “Go where?” I said stupidly not believing my luck. “Your room can drink together.” After a bit of small talk we went back to my hotel for drinks. Once again being so naive I couldn’t find my way back to the hotel after hopping on two baht buses (those pickup trucks with the two rows of seats that you hop on and off for 10 baht a trip). Completely frustrated by this time I just end up getting a taxi and end up paying 100 baht and of course no meter. Ripped off again.
But I didn’t care as I just wanted some nice female company.
No stopping at the front desk to pay a joiner fee or show ID card. Luckily for me this girl was legit or I would have been in trouble again. I was later to find out that paying the joiner fee is a good investment as protection for both of you and the girl she is watched over by hotel staff in case you are some kind of nut job who wants to hurt her. Anyway she was great company and we ended up getting drunk together in my room.
I called the girl a number of times and we met and had fun together around the bars. My new Beach Road girlfriend asks “How come you know some Thai?” I told her that I used to have a Thai girlfriend in Australia. “No problem” she says. “I’d be your girlfriend now.” I thought to myself “Thank you to my ex wife for the divorce.” But all good things must come to an end and reluctantly I had to head back to Sydney and finalize the divorce and the usual mundane exercise of going to work to make money and pay it to my ex wife.
Jealousy and Trouble
On arrival in Sydney my ex Thai girlfriend calls. “Where are you? I need to see you.” I said “But haven’t we broken up?” “No” she says. “Why would you think that?” I said “No reason just that we haven’t seen each other for months after our disagreement and you moved out.” Anyway as I still liked her I was happy to get back with her. A few days later she drove from where she lived in the country to my house. She surprised me when I came home from work as she still had a key. She surprised me all right. She decided to unpack my bag from Thailand and when you know it she found Beach Road girlfriend’s number.
Of course she rang it. “Hello who are you?” Beach Road girlfriend says. “I am Dave’s girlfriend” real Thai girlfriend says. “But hasn’t he got a Thai girlfriend in Australia?” “No that girl not good lady I am girlfriend now” says Beach Road girlfriend. I had no idea this was going on till I get a call from my Beach Road girlfriend. “I just had a call from a very nice Thai lady in Australia who is going to help me be your girlfriend.” I was mortified. I knew my Australian Thai girlfriend was incredibly jealous and would be in for it when I got home.
She yelled and screamed and made a hell of a scene. After she cooled down she demanded to see photos of this girl. I said there weren’t any photos but there were. Thankfully I had hidden them. Then she demanded that I get a new camera “You cannot take photos of me with the same camera that you used for the other girl.” “What photos? There aren’t any photos” I said.
A few days later I thought I’d better get those hidden photos and destroy them. I waited until my Australian Thai girlfriend had a shower. I looked and looked for the photos but couldn’t find them they were nowhere to be found. Girlfriend gets out of the shower and surprises me. “What you’re looking for?” “Nothing” I say sheepishly. Next day same thing when girlfriend hits the shower I start looking for the photos. Sprung again. “Looking for something?” The gig was up so I came clean. “Yes the photos” I said. Girlfriend said “Yes there were photos and I saw them. That girl is younger and prettier than me. So jealous. Photos are gone I cut them up and put them in all different bins around the street. You will never find them again.
But it didn’t end there. She rang the Beach Road girlfriend and said “Don’t ever call my boyfriend again or I will come to Pattaya to see you.” After a few weeks I thought things had calmed down until I get out of the shower and find my Australian girlfriend on my phone to the Beach Road girlfriend saying “How come you answer phone? I told you not to talk to my boyfriend again. I ring on his phone to see if you answer you shouldn’t answer.
The moral of this story is don’t ever write down a Thai girl’s number and bring it home with you and also don’t take photos of other Thais unless you have a Grade 10 secure wall safe.
More Travel Lessons
The good news to this story is that I got married to this Australian Thai girlfriend after my divorce was finalized and we have been happily married now for many years. Even to this day she occasionally says “I still have her number and I will call her again.” And that’s it basically.
Story #2: The Vietnam Veteran Who Lost His Leg But Not in the War
I was fed up with the bar scene in Bangkok. I was sitting at a bar one morning at about 1100 a.m. on Sukhumvit Soi 21 having a Singha beer and I noticed this old guy across the road sitting alone having a beer too. I went over and said hi to him and started chatting. He was a lovely man spoke softly and told me he was married to a Thai lady just around the corner and she ran a laundry shop. I was excited to meet a new friend. He then went into the Vietnam War stories and was very interesting. I then noticed he had a false leg and he was telling me the story. I could only imagine that he lost his leg in the war. I could not get a word in as he was on full flow with his war stories.
Eventually I got a word in and asked “So you lost your leg in the war?” He replied “Hell no last year I was out for a walk on Sukhumvit Road and some motorbike crashed into me.” And then I thought “Oh my God after surviving the war and getting on with life this happened.” I could only laugh and he laughed too. And of course there was no compensation ever.
I continued to visit him most early mornings as he sat outside his wife’s shop on his favorite chair having a coffee. I would sit and chat to him and he told me all about the girls the fun and he now just likes to watch the world go by. I visited him quite a few more times and then I had to go back to China. I returned to Soi 21 about three months later and called in to see him. I was sad to see the empty chair outside the shop and asked about him only to find he had passed away.
After this and all the bad stuff that had happened to me in the past I prefer to go to Thailand and make friends with older expats and hear their stories. So many stories out there.
Well it’s absolutely true you can find a lot of guys out here who are married to Thais and they’ve been here for a long time. The only thing I’d say is take the stories with a pinch of salt especially in a place like Pattaya you’ll hear all sorts. But if he enjoyed his company no problem.
Story #3: The Wrong Bar: A Short Funny Night Out in Pattaya
This story was about me and a few of my friends on Walking Street Pattaya. One of my friends has very poor eyesight without his glasses and my other friend is hilarious. I arranged to meet them at a bar on Walking Street. I walked in at about 1000 p.m. and noticed both of them but each at a different bar. My best friend was talking to a lady at one bar. He seemed to be getting on well with her but she said she was busy that evening. As he got up and walked away from the bar he turned to wave at this young lady then fell over a pool table which was behind him. The customers and bar girls all had a great time watching his performance. He came to sit with me and he was a bit flustered but no worse for wear.
I had to go back to the other bar and pay his bar bill. He’s a bit older than us so no worries.
Just a short funny story from a night out in Thailand but obviously you had to be there to see the funny side of it.
