Marrying an Ex Go Go Girl in Pattaya

I want to start my story by clearly stating that I am married to an ex go go girl in Pattaya, and I have zero regrets.

So yes, the woman I married used to work in a bar and would entertain customers. Every negative thing people have to say about that, I’ve heard it all before, 10 times over.

Why Thai Bar Girl Relationships Can End Badly

You have to remember, a lot of these stories that end in heartbreak and money being lost are from older men who fell for the first Thai girl they laid eyes on, which is normally a young bar girl.

People actually believe that these girls who are 20 years younger than them are actually interested in them and want to be in a genuine relationship.

The guys who normally fall for this are newbies to the country or people who have not had much luck with the ladies during their life.

That being said, even veterans and people with their head screwed on can also fall for the bargirl spell.

Every country has good and bad people. Being judgmental towards a Thai woman just because of what they do for a living really grinds my gears.

Just to make it clear, I am talking about girls that work in bars, clubs and the nightlife in general.

Reading the Signs in Pattaya Relationships

Of course, it is not the ideal job you would want a girl working in, but still, we should not judge them for doing it. We all have our own story after all, and we do not know everybody’s story.

If you are just going to Thailand for a holiday and a bit of fun, then that is fine, go and do that.

Now I am not saying do not be cautious, especially when dealing with girls that work in a bar in Pattaya.

There are a million red flags already before you even meet a bargirl, and the reasons not to be in a relationship with one probably outweigh the reasons to be in a relationship with one.

But just because a 57-year-old found out his 20-year-old girlfriend already has a boyfriend does not mean it is going to happen to you.

Using Common Sense in Pattaya

Common sense goes a long way in Pattaya. You can pretty much see when something is just transactional fun and when there are actually feelings involved.

I think we all have enough brains to realise when a girl really likes us and when she is just playing a game.

Having said that, if that was true, then there would not be so many stories with bad outcomes.

But in my opinion, you can easily spot the girl who is constantly lying and talking about money, compared with the girl who wants to actually spend time with you away from that life.

People who bad-mouth these bar girls in Pattaya just do not realise how hard it is to live in the village on 150 Thai Baht a day.

Okay, neither do I, I guess, but I do spend at least one month out of the year there, so I think I do have a bit more experience than some.

Why Many Bargirls Come From Poor Backgrounds

Although my wife’s village that we visit is not located in the Isan region, it is very close, and the wages for working in the fields there are probably the same as they are in Isan, and no doubt similar to other villages in Thailand.

Not to mention how hard they have to work for that kind of small salary.

We all know 150 Thai Baht a day is not a lot of money at all. At the time of me writing this story, it is around 4 US dollars.

It has been a long minute since I have been in a go go bar, but I should imagine that 150 will not even get you a drink in a go go bar nowadays.

In fact, I bet the go go girls make that in commission just from one drink nowadays.

Why Bar Work Is Not the Whole Story

Why should not these village girls want to earn more money than just the peanuts they get paid?

They are barely surviving in the villages, and with very little money, they cannot exactly treat themselves to anything other than food for survival.

Why should not these girls want to earn more than just enough to feed themselves and their families, including their children, which is normally the case?

Most of the bar girls you will meet will be single mothers, relying on their family to take care of the kids while they are out working.

Though some of them do have Thai boyfriends or husbands, do not expect them to be honest about that.

The boyfriend, like her family, will also have his hand out for the money that she makes from the bar.

How I Met My Future Wife in a Pattaya Go Go Bar

As I said, I met her while she was a go go girl in a club in Pattaya, a pretty popular one at the time.

I was a typical monger at the time, and it was during my 4th or 5th Pattaya trip that I met her.

At the time, I had my own set of rules where I would only barfine a girl for 1 night, and then I would not go back to the bar again.

I would go to a different bar and meet a different girl.

I did this because at the time I did not want to catch feelings for anyone. I wanted a hassle-free trip and not to go home with any baggage.

It was kind of like the 3-day rule that many people know about, only mine was the 1-day rule.

Going Back to the Bar to Win Over My Wife

I would have classed myself as a so-called Pattaya veteran, so this just shows that anyone can fall for these ladies, even if you have your own set of rules.

Obviously, I did not stick to my rules because I ended up getting married.

Anyway, there I was, heading into a go go bar with a girl next to me that I had met and barfined that night.

I always take the barfined girl for a couple of drinks outside her bar just to see how she is with me and if it is worth taking things any further than the bar.

When we walked in, my future wife took me and my barfine to a table and asked if we wanted a drink.

I was pretty drunk at the time and asked her rudely if she would like to come back with us. I was the typical stupid tourist.

Apologising and Building Trust

She brushed me off and went to focus on other customers. I instantly regretted it and knew I should not have asked that.

To this day, my wife has never let me forget the first words I said to her, and occasionally brings it up, all in good humour.

I knew as soon as I said it and saw the way she reacted that I had been extremely rude, and for some reason, it stuck with me all night.

Even the next day, after spending the night with my barfine, I could not get it out of my head what I said to my future wife.

So that night, I decided that I should go and apologise and see if I could buy her a drink.

As soon as I walked in, she spotted me and came over, asking me if I wanted a drink.

Spending Time With a Pattaya Go Go Girl

I was surprised that she was being so friendly after the embarrassing things I had said to her the previous night.

I did not notice it the night before, maybe because I was a bit drunk, but she had a lovely pair staring straight at me.

After composing myself, I ordered a Chang for myself and she took me to a table.

Bringing the drink to me, I apologised for what I said the night before and asked if she would like to join me for a drink, to which she accepted.

She sat down with me and I proceeded to tell her that it was out of character for me to say what I said the night before.

She replied that it was fine and she had heard much worse and even crazier requests, which is understandable in that city.

When a Pattaya Relationship Becomes Serious

We got along great and had laughs together. I think because I was stone-cold sober, she could see I was not the normal drunken fool that she met the previous night.

A couple of drinks later, I barfined her.

We spent the rest of my trip together. All of a sudden, going out alone to the lady bars just did not interest me.

Something had changed, and if I am honest, I kind of liked the feeling.

Normally I would be waking up, saying bye to the girl from the previous night and then planning on which bars I would be going to that night.

But now I would be waking up, saying bye to this girl and looking forward to seeing her again the same night.

My Thai Girl Is Different

I barfined her every night for the rest of my holiday, and we spent every day together.

We would go out together in the day, go eat, do whatever, and then head to her bar at night, have a few drinks and then I would pay the barfine.

I could feel that this was not work for her and she enjoyed being with me. It is hard to explain, but you will just know when this happens.

Like I said earlier, you can tell when it is just work with these women and when there are actual feelings. You just know.

I remember even deleting the LINE app from my phone that was full of bargirls’ numbers, just because I was happy with this one.

She did not directly ask me to delete them, but she made passing jokes about my phone being filled with bargirls.

My Future Wife’s Background

I think she may have been a little jealous and still thought I was playing around, but she never said it straight to me.

She realised pretty quickly that I was being serious about me and her.

I even deleted the numbers of my favourite girls that I had really good times with there and saw on many different occasions.

Spending time with her was not just all bedroom time and drinking at the bars. I actually got to know her a bit.

My wife previously lived in her village, working to support her then Thai husband and her child.

Her child was not even 1 year old when her husband decided to leave.

Why She Went to Pattaya

Once her husband walked out on her and her child for another woman he had found, she decided she needed a change.

She knew she needed to make money for her and her child as she was getting no help from her ex-husband or family.

Originally, she did not want to do any bar work, so she headed to Phuket first, where she worked as a masseuse doing proper Thai massages, NOT the types of massages that tourists are familiar with.

She was good at her job and worked really hard, but soon realised that the money was still not great, and people coming into the shop were looking for more than just a massage.

During this time, she had to go back to the village to take care of her son for a couple of months, and then her plan was to return to Phuket.

Instead, she realised that she did not like Phuket and did not want to go back. She thought she could make it work in her village.

Wife Heading to Pattaya

However, with not making enough money and having to ask her parents to borrow money from them, she had been persuaded by her friend to go to Pattaya.

According to my wife, Pattaya or working as a bargirl, dancer or in any entertainment work never crossed her mind.

Her friend had been a bargirl in Pattaya for about a year and looked to be a successful bargirl at that.

She had many sponsors, sending a lot of money home each month, nice clothes, always posting pictures of her nights out, and she was very enhanced.

I think with my wife seeing the way her friend lived, she fancied a bit of that luxurious lifestyle, so she made the move.

Like most girls in Pattaya, my wife left her son with her parents and promised to send money back every week to take care of them.

Working in a Pattaya Go Go Bar

My wife was and still is a stunner with a perfect figure, in my eyes anyway, so you can imagine how much money she made in Pattaya compared to in her village.

She got a job in the same go go bar as her friend, and she claimed that from day one she was making money from customers.

Although she did not like the job at first, she said she had to learn to switch off and just think about the money she was making.

About 6 months after working in Pattaya, she met me, lucky lass.

After our first meeting, we kept in touch when I went back to the UK.

Even at this point, when I was back in the UK, I did not really expect it to go any further than online friends.

Keeping in Touch After Pattaya

Actually, this is the first time I had kept in touch with a bargirl after returning home.

Normally, as soon as I get on that plane, that is it until next time, no need to keep in touch with anyone. And if you are going to Pattaya for a bit of fun, I suggest you do that.

Anyway, as the days went on and we got to know each other more, I started to see a future with her.

We arranged that I would come back and see her for 2 weeks, spend more time with each other and get to know each other better.

On my second trip, we spent the whole 2 weeks together. Yes, I barfined her for the whole 2 weeks.

This was not a scam. Before I got there, I knew that I would have to barfine her from the bar if we wanted to spend time together.

Starting a Serious Relationship With a Pattaya Bar Girl

She would actually be losing money by allowing me to barfine her because it meant that she would not be working.

At the end of that trip, we mutually agreed to be in a relationship. It was not the easiest thing because I knew what she would have to be doing while I was home in the UK.

I think this is the hardest part that any guy will have to deal with if they have committed to being in a relationship with a bar girl.

Let us be honest, no matter how much you love someone, none of us want them to be working at a bar in Thailand.

We all know what goes on in those bars and what the girls are there for.

At this time, I did not have enough money to support her, and she knew that. She understood but made it very clear that she would still have to be working.

Making a Long-Distance Relationship Work

She tried to put me at ease by messaging me or calling me every time she finished work.

Although I did not like hearing it, she would be honest and tell me if she was busy after work, to which I had to accept.

I just kept telling myself that this was how it was going to have to be for now, but it would not always be like this.

Now it is my 3rd trip. I had been working like crazy and saving every penny I could.

On this trip, we actually left Pattaya and had a holiday in Koh Samui for 2 weeks.

It was great getting away from Pattaya, as that was all I knew about Thailand.

Falling in Love on Koh Samui

Koh Samui was nothing like Pattaya. There were not bars and girls everywhere you looked, though you could find it if you wanted it.

It was more of a chill place, somewhere where you would take your girlfriend or wife.

This trip was really fun and we got along so well. The chemistry was there, and I think on this trip we both knew that we loved each other.

At the end of the 3rd trip, we had a talk, and I was now at a stage where I could support her if she stopped working at the bar.

This is another thing that guys need to understand when being in a relationship with a bargirl.

As I mentioned, none of us want our girlfriends working in a bar, so the next step is to support sending them money so they do not need to work at the bar any longer.

What to Do If Your Thai Girlfriend Is a Bargirl

I would say that this is where most of the relationships fail because nobody wants to send money to someone, and those that do send the money may realise it is all one big scam.

A lot of the time, when a girl is in it just for the money, she will accept the payment from a sponsor to leave the bar, but she will not actually leave, or maybe she will just work less.

If you catch them working at the bar after you have been sending money for them not to, they will come up with all the excuses under the sun.

I have come to see friends at the bar. I am just here but not working. I only drink with customers, nothing else.

In my eyes, if you have paid for them to leave the bar, then that is exactly what they should do. If they do not, I would walk away and not listen to any excuse.

So, we agreed that I would send her 20,000 a month for her and 5,000 for her to send home.

Sponsoring My Thai Girlfriend

It was not a huge amount, and sure, she could be earning more at the bar, but she wanted to make it work with me, so she was okay with that amount.

I know that she left the bar because I would only be sending 20,000 a month. I told her that she could work just 2 days at the bar.

She replied that 20,000 was enough and she did not need to or want to work at the bar anymore, so I trusted her that she did not.

It was not long after the 3rd trip that she came to the UK on a visitor’s visa.

She loved it here. She instantly fell in love with the UK and told me she would like to start a life here with me.

To cut this part of the story short, we got married in the UK, went through all the visa process and paperwork, and now we are happily married and living here.

What My Wife Built in Thailand

As far as working in a go go bar, my wife says she has no regrets.

She claims that although she would be judged a lot by foreigners, money and living a good life were more important than the opinions of westerners.

Working in Pattaya, she was able to save up money, and now, working in the UK and having help from me, she is the proud owner of a house in Thailand that her parents still live in, a car in the UK and a bunch of savings in Thailand.

She also buys land in Thailand for when we move back there, and knows that as more land becomes available we will be buying more.

Yes, before you all start, I know the land is in her name and not mine. That is the risk I am willing to take.

She also owns a shop in Thailand that some of her family members run, and we have plans on extending that and working on it more once we finally decide to head back to Thailand for good.

Bringing My Thai Wife’s Son to the UK

Her son eventually joined us in the UK once we got all the paperwork sorted, and later we introduced a new baby boy to the world.

This was a scary moment for us because our son was not planned, but he was such a blessing, and I could not have been any happier.

Her first son is being educated in the UK and now has more prospects in life.

Education in Thailand, let us just say, is not the best, and rarely do they go on to higher education, so I am glad our kids will be educated here.

All in all, life is pretty good, and I am very glad I walked into that go go bar that night, even if I did say the wrong things.

It is a weird thing to say, especially when people ask how we met, but I am not ashamed and neither is she. That is why I am sharing my story.

Trust and Jealousy in a Thai Relationship

Ignore when people look down their nose at you. As long as you are happy, that is all that matters.

In life, it is normally the man who is jealous of the woman, but to this day she is still so paranoid that I will go off with another Thai woman.

That is something you would have to come to terms with. Thai women can get very jealous, even over the smallest of things.

Why Pattaya Is a Dealbreaker With My Wife

We visit Pattaya often, as that is where we met and that is where all her friends are. When we are there, I am not allowed out unless I have a mutual friend with me.

I do not think it is me that she does not trust. It is the other girls that would be around me that she does not trust.

She knows there is too much risk in Pattaya to let me go out alone, even though I have no intentions of going with another girl.

She knows the game so well, so she knows all the types of tricks that these ladies will pull around me.

However, my Pattaya playboy days ended the day I met my wife.

Truth be told, I used to be one of those guys who would laugh at the stories of other guys falling in love with bargirls in Pattaya.

How Pattaya Changed My Life

I can remember thinking, how can people be so dull to think that these girls actually like them and could possibly see a future with them?

It was not until I went there and experienced it first-hand when I met my wife. It really is so easy to catch feelings and fall for someone there.

Just writing out my story, it feels surreal and crazy.

I was a happy-go-lucky guy, living life day by day. Falling in love, or even having a relationship, was the last thing on my mind.

Pattaya was my secret getaway from my friends and family back home.

I would go there and have as much fun as I could, never catching feelings for any of the girls I met, and then head back to the UK as if I had never even been anywhere.

Relationships Can Work Out With Thai Bar Girls

I would tell family and friends that while in Thailand I just went visiting temples, exploring, seeing the beaches and trying all the different types of Thai food.

Little did they know, I did none of those things. Or maybe they did know what I was getting up to, they just did not tell me.

It is true what they say, you never know when love is going to strike.

It is not the romantic story about two people meeting, but it is certainly different and one that we both still have a laugh at to this day.

I believe that my wife is my soulmate and we were meant to meet that night.

Learning to Trust Your Thai Girlfriend

That is mainly because the stories that are shared always end badly, but they do not share the circumstances, such as the age gap or financial issues.

Age normally plays a huge factor in all these heartbreak stories. Very rarely will you hear that they are within the same age or the woman is older.

My wife and I are only a couple of years apart, and she makes her fair share of money, as do I.

Not every bar girl is out to ruin your life. Some of them are just looking for a better life, and while looking for that life, they are trying to make as much money as possible.

I do trust my wife more than life itself, but I am not stupid. I will not leave all my money and investments in Thailand, just in case.

But I truly believe that I have nothing to worry about. I do not doubt my wife for 1 second, and I think we will be together for the remainder of our days.

Not Every Thai Bar Girl Is Bad

Did she see me as a cash cow when we first met and just a foreigner that she could try and rinse?

Maybe, I guess I will never know, but she eventually got feelings for me and we are completely in love with each other.

But if I am completely wrong about everything and I lose it all, I will make sure to submit another story so you can all have a laugh at me.

I always have a giggle to myself when we visit her family in the village in Thailand.

My wife and I will drive around, and she will point out the nice brick houses, not the hut-type houses, and say that she knows the woman who lives there. She met a foreigner in the past, got married, built the house and got a divorce, and now lives in the house with her Thai husband.

I know in my story I am trying to show the positives of being in a relationship with one of these girls and that the outcome can be good, but I do not want to lie and act like bad things do not happen.

Bringing a Thai Wife Back to the UK

So do not get me wrong, I know there are bad people out there and thousands of foreigners have lost everything to the wrong Thai girl, but there are success stories like mine too.

The decision goes back to using common sense that God gifted us all with, some more than others.

I know a few people here in the UK who have married a Thai woman and brought their wife here.

They have been happily married for years, both working. They are not freeloaders who expect the husband to make all the money for them to spend.

Their wives own nothing, have to work for their money, and everything they get, they earn.

It is a big misconception that all Thais want to marry a foreigner to get out of Thailand and have a better life.

Why Thai Women Move Abroad

The part about having a better life is true, but moving out of Thailand could not be further from the truth.

Most Thais I know do not want to leave their country. They have families there and just want a good life.

So the Thai women who do move out of Thailand simply get married because they love each other, and not for some type of scam.

When my wife was working in Phuket, she told me that she had a friend in the massage parlour who claimed she was a fortune teller and could see things that normal people cannot see.

I am very skeptical about these types of people, as is my wife.

She told my wife that she would get married 3 times, live a good life, have plenty of money and move out of Thailand.

A Fortune Teller’s Prediction

Most of it came true, but let us just hope she got the 3-husband part wrong because I am husband number 2.

So, there is obviously a big risk when it comes to taking things further with a bar girl.

The main concern is whether she actually has feelings for you or whether it is simply work for her.

You should probably already know this by the way she acts around you. It is not rocket science to know if there is chemistry or not.

If you have the gut feeling that it could work, take the risk, or you may have to live with regret.

If you do take a risk and you realise your money is running out fast because of her, that is a clear indication that it probably is not going to work in the future.

Taking the Chance With a Bar Girl

Especially if you are just giving her money simply because she asked and not for something that will benefit you both in the future.