Three Holiday Girlfriends Three Very Different Endings in Thailand
Story 1: How I Met a Thai Girl in Pattaya
He got played badly, sent her money twice for new phones and appendix operation and all the usual stories. I thought he was mentally ill because I believed that could never happen to me. I thought I had a good grip on reality. It was my first time to Pattaya and my first time traveling alone, so I was a little nervous. I had recently come out of a 10-year relationship and had just turned 60, so I suppose I was looking to prove my masculinity to myself. I checked into my hotel, which was clean, reasonably quiet, and close to the beach. I arrived on a Saturday and thought it would be a good night to get straight out into the party atmosphere. After freshening up, I went for a walk along the beachfront and found a bar just around the corner from my hotel.
I sat down and quickly got chatting to two older ladies working behind the bar. They asked if I wanted a girl and I said maybe later as I wanted to choose carefully. Eventually, I picked one cute rather than stunning and we went through the usual routine of ladies drinks and questions about how long I was in Thailand. I asked her the bar fine and long time price. The bar fine was 600 baht and long time was 2,500 baht, long time being all night. She then suggested we go to her roommate’s bar to play pool, which of course meant buying drinks for her friends as well. They often do that. Still, I had a good time and we ended up back at my room where I had the best workout session I’d had in years.
I had already broken my own rule because I went back the following night, then did the same again the night after that. I gave myself a rest after that because we had got pretty drunk and normally I do not drink at all. I couldn’t see the point of trying another bar because everything I had gone to Pattaya for seemed to be in that one place. So, I went back for a third time and that was where I made the real mistake. This time, I met another bar girl, the sort of girl you dream about all your life. She was tall and thin with long silky black hair, perfect brown skin, and beautiful eyes that you could not stop looking at. She was shy, playful and naughty all at the same time. Back home, she could have easily been a high-class escort charging $1,000 a night.
Falling in Love with a Thai Girl in Pattaya
I thought I’d won the lottery. The bar fine was the same, but she charged 4,000 baht for the night and I gladly paid it. We left, I took her for dinner at a nice restaurant and treated her like the gorgeous woman she was. In return, she made me feel like I was the only man on earth. We enjoyed each other’s company as though we had both starved we were both starved of affection for years. I became addicted. I would spend one night partying with her, give myself a day and a night to recover and then go back and do it all again. We talked about having a life together, even about children.
I had done exactly what I’d told myself I was far too clever not to do. I fell in love. She now messaged me saying she loves me, misses me and tells me not to forget her. I find myself entertaining crazy thoughts about moving to Thailand to be with her, although I know it would be disastrous for me in every area of my life. I told her I would return in 6 months, but I know it probably will not be the same by then. Circumstances change quickly, so I will be left with some very good memories of the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of being with.
Story 2: Dating in Dumaguete, Philippines
This is a continuation of my 8-week vacation following my retirement and divorce after a 30-year marriage. I am 64 years old. A short recap, I met a pretty 58-year-old on ThaiFriendly in Pattaya and we had a great time together. I saw her for two non-consecutive weeks. I disproved the 3-day rule. Since then, we have not had any contact even though she has my LINE. After 4 weeks in Thailand, it was time to go to the Philippines in February 2026. My plan was to visit Dumaguete, a small city of about 100,000 people, which attracts many foreigners. I wanted to see what the dating situation was like and evaluate the small city. Supposedly, the foreign population is 3%, which is the highest in the Philippines and perhaps all of Southeast Asia. Of course, I would always make the comparison between Thailand and the Philippines.
I had scheduled my connection flight 4 hours after arriving in Manila thinking that would be enough time. Of course, my flight from Bangkok to Manila was delayed by an hour and I grossly underestimated how long it would take to get through Philippine immigration. I do not know anyone who enjoys going through airports these days and Manila is no piece of cake. I had trouble with the e-immigration form. So, while I was standing in line, I asked a security guard why it was not working.
He took my phone, filled out the entire form for me, answered all the questions, and handed the phone completely back finished. I do not think this level of hospitality would happen in any other country. One point for the Philippines. By the time I got through immigration, my flight to Dumaguete was only an hour away. I had to retrieve my check bag, find the domestic terminal, and check in with Cebu Pacific. Basically, I was running the whole time. The lady at Cebu Pacific counter said I was past the check-in deadline, but she checked my bag my bag anyway and told me to hurry. This kind of leeway would never happen at an American airport. Of course, the gate was the furthest one from the check-in counter, and by the time I reached the plane, I was drenched in sweat thinking I was too old for this and thanking God my heart was healthy. When I arrived in Dumaguete, all the taxi drivers seemed to be in cahoots and wanted to charge me a premium for being a foreigner on the short 20-minute ride to my downtown hotel.
There are no ride service apps in the small city of Dumaguete, so I had no choice but to agree. I wanted to try the dating scene and meet Mr. Likable in Dumaguete. I had sent him several emails, but they went unanswered.
I also emailed another contact who agreed to meet me. He told me that Mr. Likable had become too famous to meet tourists. That was a disappointment. I decided to try Tinder. I used the same profile I used in Thailand stating that I was looking for a woman between 45 and 55 years old who still looked good in a bathing suit. The dating was smaller than it had been in Pattaya, but I did match with an attractive 58-year-old woman. I already knew the rules were going to be different here than they were in Pattaya. The woman I met told me she was the widow of an American husband and that had she had been married for 30 years. Let’s call her Grace. We agreed to meet for dinner, and she asked if she could bring her friend.
Again, from watching other vlogs about the Philippines, I knew this was common, but I did not really understand why an older woman would need a chaperone. Even more puzzling was why she would bring a friend who was also the widow of an American husband and who was even more attractive. The two women wanted to go to one of the nicer restaurants at the north end. Although it was expensive by Filipino standards, were only about 1/3 of what a comparable fine restaurant would cost in America. I made the mistake of asking the friend for her Facebook, which my date definitely noticed.
Dating and Meeting Women in Dumaguete
The next evening, I arranged another date with Grace, and this time her chaperone was her older sister, who was well over the hill in terms of looks. Again, they chose one of the nicest restaurants in town, which I did not mind since I was financially secure. Although I did feel they were taking some advantage of the situation. With a chaperone there, I found it impossible to make any progress romantically. What surprised me most was her level of English, or more accurately, her lack of English skills, given that she had been married to an American for 30 years. Her texts were completely unreadable, more like a stream of random misspelled words. However, the texts asking why I had requested her friend’s Facebook and whether I found her friend more attractive than she was perfectly clear. After arranging dinner for my third evening in Dumaguete, I received a bunch of texts that I could not understand.
After waiting for her to show up and realizing she never arrived, I concluded that she had been trying to tell me she could not get transportation, or at least I think that is what she was trying to say. Feeling sad and lonely, I spent the evening on the boulevard. The boulevard in Dumaguete is a promenade along the ocean where people gather at night. There are various street vendors and across the street there is a variety of restaurants and bars. It is basically the city’s main hangout. While I was sitting on the seawall by the ocean, a few older women started talking to me, asking me the usual questions, “Where are you from? And how long will you be in town?” The women I was talking to with began flirting with me and even started singing love songs to me. From what I understand, all Filipinos can sing in key.
At about 10:00 p.m., it was time for all of us to go home. We swapped Facebook accounts and by the time I got back to the hotel, one of them had already messaged me on Messenger. These women were not those kind of ladies and they warned me not to accept any massage offers from women in the area. I had not noticed any women girls while I was sitting there, but after I got up, I started walking alone, several approached me with various offers, of all which I declined. We arranged to meet the next day and let’s call my new friend May. She had a college college education and had previously worked as an interior decorator at a hotel. She was color currently retired with a very small pension and was supported by her grown sons. She liked to sing, so we did karaoke in the afternoon and had dinner at a mid-price restaurant in the evening. She told me that she was also a widow and had not been touched by a man since her husband died. This is the older women’s equivalent of when younger Filipinas say they have never been with a man.
The rules here are different from Angeles City or Pattaya. There is no expected payment, it would actually be an insult if you offered, and there is no getting lucky on the first night. However, you can measure your romantic progress a little each night. For the first girl, Grace, I had to send a text telling her that things were not working out and that we needed to move on. That did not go well. I got hit by a torrent of messages.
“Why don’t you want to see me? When can you see me? I am sick. Can you come and get me?” and so on. I call these kinds of girls bunny burners from the film Fatal Attraction. I had to block her on social media. I had met some Americans at the downtown McDonald’s and told them about my luck in meeting a woman on the boulevard. They told me to run, run for my life. I think they were only half joking or perhaps not joking at all. While wasting some time at the local Bowls coffee shop, just as I was leaving, I saw Mr. Likable come in with his wife. I told him I had sent him some emails, but he said he did not read his emails anymore. I asked him if he had a few minutes to chat and whether I could buy him a coffee, but he said he was busy. As I was walking away, I glanced back and he waved for me to come back. I somehow met him by luck.
Meeting May in Dumaguete
I asked if he could share some things that he could not say publicly. Mr. Likable started to criticize the other people in Dumaguete and shared various bits of gossip and mild secrets. After about 20 minutes, his wife arrived, and Mr. Likable insisted that I take a photo with both him and his wife. Romance started to escalate with May, and I felt she would be a good companion for a tour of the Valencia countryside surrounding Dumaguete, with its various waterfalls and hot springs.
I have Crohn’s disease, so I’m usually careful about what I eat, but I was feeling well and digesting food normally. After a week with no problems, I started to let my guard down. The night before the tour, we went to the bars at the north end, where I had some funny, fruity drinks with ice. I think that was the most likely place where I got severe food poisoning, although you can never be sure.
I woke up in the middle of the night with severe diarrhea and could not keep down even water without vomiting. I contacted May to say I had to cancel the tour because I was sick.
May Helps During Food Poisoning in Dumaguete
May texted me back, asking if I was okay, and I said, “No, I’m very sick.” Filipinos love to dote on their men, and being sick gives them an extra opportunity to do so. The Philippines is known for exporting nurses around the world. May arrived at my hotel within half an hour and said I looked pale.
After several hours of not being able to keep anything down, I consulted Dr. ChatGPT and explained my symptoms. Based on my condition, it advised that the situation was serious enough to warrant going to an ER. As I kept blacking out and fainting whenever I stood up, I agreed. Luckily, I had May with me, and she also kept advising me to go to the hospital.
By this time, it was evening rush hour, and although the hospital was very close, it still took 30 minutes to get to the ER. It was a good thing this was not a heart attack. When I arrived at the ER, they told me the doctor was out for dinner and would not be back for an hour. The doctor did not return from dinner for two hours, and during that time there was no IV or treatment of any kind. I just waited on the stretcher.
I had been warned that Philippine healthcare was not up to Western standards. Finally, the doctor came in, and they started an IV, took blood, and carried out the usual tests. The blood results showed severe dehydration and dangerously low sodium levels, so they hooked me up to a sodium IV. Food poisoning is probably one condition they can treat adequately since it is something they are familiar with.
God help you if you come in with a heart attack or a stroke. The level of care was pretty low. They took some blood from the arm with the IV. They needed to get the results, so they took blood again the next day from the other arm.
Dumaguete Hospital Costs and Recovery
They prescribed an expensive antibiotic that I probably would have been given in the US, and within two days I was back to my old self. They tested me for many things, including typhoid, which I do not think they would have tested for in the US. Philippine hospitals require a companion to be with you, and luckily I had May, who stayed with me the first night. Her relative stayed with me the next day and evening. The food at the hospital was gross and inedible, and I was glad to be discharged.
The total cost for a two-night stay, including the doctor’s fee, X-ray, and medicine, was only 400 US dollars. In the US, it would probably have been at least 4,000 dollars out of pocket. To get exit clearance from the hospital, you need to pay before you leave. Luckily, I had no problem with my credit card. After that incident, I had no more health issues. Things in the romantic department eventually escalated to the point where we became fully intimate.
At that point, I decided to go to one of those romantic beach towns in the Philippines. I was advised not to go to one of these places unless I brought my own woman with me, as it would be more difficult to find a woman in these resort areas than in a city or provincial area. We went to nice locations with reasonably priced hotels in season. Throughout all of this, I was not giving May any allowance, but in the long run May cost me more money than Cookie from Thailand. It reminds me of the old joke: Why do men pay for aerobics? Because it saves money.
Comparing Dating and Healthcare in Thailand and the Philippines
I agree with most of your previous comparisons I have heard. Older women tend to be thinner and in better condition in Thailand, although it seems easier to find a woman who is not charging by the day in the Philippines. Health care is most likely better in Thailand given what I have seen in the Philippine hospitals. Infrastructure in terms of keeping the power on is also better in Thailand. There were several times when my hotel was running on generators. In terms of English, the Philippines has the advantage, but not as much as you would think. All signs and immigration forms are in English, but if you stay in the tourist areas of Thailand, you should be fine with the level of English available. The biggest difference is the level of poverty. In Bangkok, the homeless seem similar to those in New York, with many appearing to have severe mental health issues.
In the Philippines, when I left my hotel, there were often young women with an infant asking for money. The same thing happened when I went to McDonald’s. These women did not appear to be scammers. They and their babies genuinely seemed to need the money. I would always give my spare change to the first mother, but then I would have to tell the second mother who came up to me that I was out of change. In terms of smiles, people in both countries smile more than foreigners, but in the Philippines, it seems more genuine.
I felt Filipinos liked foreigners, especially Americans. So, which is better? That is like asking whether rock or country music is better. It is a matter of personal taste. After my vacation in the Philippines, May and I kept in touch on Messenger. I offered May the chance to come and visit me in the US. May needed to apply for a visa and travel to Manila, which required me to pay for her airfare, a nice hotel across the street from the embassy, pocket money, and the application fee. That probably came to around $500. Of course, with what I saw as an anti-immigration administration, it seems they reject most applicants to the US, even those with considerable evidence that they will return home, such as May owning her own house. So, the application was rejected. Her 10-year-old phone was no longer working properly, possibly because of viruses or simply age. I offered $250 for a Chinese phone, but her niece was selling her old iPhone for $325. I also own an iPhone myself.
May said it was up to me to decide, so of course, I sent the money for the iPhone. As for the part about her never being touched by a man, Facebook later recommended another account belonging to May. When I checked it out, there was a photo of her with another foreigner. As of today, we still are in contact with each other. Maybe I should have taken the advice from my fellow expats and run for my life.
Story 3: A Bangkok Nightlife Meeting
Looking back, 2019 feels like a different lifetime. I was in my 30s, single with a few pounds in my pocket, traveling to Thailand several times a year for work and holidays. And enjoying a lifestyle that comes with having very few commitments and a decent paying job. Bangkok had become a city I knew very well. I had started to move beyond the main Nana bars and obvious attractions. And over time, I had made enough friends to be introduced to places that most tourists and mongers never hear about. One evening, a friend from America suggested we go somewhere upmarket, a place called the Black Cat. Now, let me explain. The Black Cat is an extremely high-end hostess venue that catered and almost exclusively to wealthy Thai businessmen, Japanese executives, and Chinese clients. The place was immaculate with expensive decor, private rooms, and an atmosphere that felt more like the lobby of a five-star hotel than anything else. The women were grouped into different categories such as pretty model, supermodel, and VIP.
Each wore a colored badge that indicated their price bracket. From memory, green started at around 10,000 baht, blue was somewhere around 14,000 baht, and pink was around 20,000 baht with some women costing considerable more. But do keep in mind, those women looked like Miss Universe. It was not unusual for customers to spend between 10,000 and 30,000 baht over the course of an evening. If I am honest, I was not looking for anything more complicated than good company, dinner, and aerobics.
I was single and in my 30s and enjoying myself. It would be nice to splurge and try somewhere that was not Nana or a Soi Cowboy for once. I think I set my budget for the evening at 500 pounds. Anyway, that is when I met her. She was 24 and worked as a model or pretty doing promotional events, car shows, modeling, and so on. Or at least that is what she told me. She occasionally entertained customers at the hostess club for extra money. Whether that was true, I still do not know. She was certainly good-looking enough. I still don’t do not know what her real name was. She had several. Who knows? One thing is true, she stood out immediately. Not just because she was beautiful, although she was, she had a confidence about her that made her seem completely comfortable in that environment. She spoke decent English, was easy to talk to, and had a dry sense of humor that I liked. I selected her from the lineup immediately.
And what took place with her that evening was will stay with me for the rest of my life. Let’s just say it was worth every single baht. After the aerobics, we exchanged numbers and parted ways so I could compare notes with my friends. I assumed that would probably be the end of it and the last I would hear from her. Instead, she messaged me the next day. We began talking immediately and a few days later, we met up and started spending time together. This happened each time I was in Bangkok, which in those days was three or four times a year. Our relationship, and I use that phrase loosely, was not particularly unusual. We would meet for dinner, go for drinks, head back to the hotel for aerobics, and then go our separate ways. Neither of us ever talked about the future. And I certainly was not imagining we were building something some great romance. It suited us both, or at least I thought it did. There were things about her that did not make sense, but I never paid much attention. She was always late.
Not 20 minutes late, sometimes one or two hours late. I would already be three beers deep when a message would arrive saying she was stuck in traffic or had been delayed at work.
A Bangkok Nightlife Romance That Continued Abroad
Eventually, she would arrive looking like she genuinely did not care. We would have dinner and I would forget about it. She could also never stay beyond about midnight. There was always a reason she needed to leave. Sometimes it was work, sometimes family and sometimes a friend needed her. I did not ask too many questions because truthfully, I was not looking for answers. I just assumed that she was going to meet a customer or had a shift at the Black Cat. The thing I found strange is and most annoying was her phones. She carried three mobile phones everywhere. One would ring while another vibrated with line messages and she would constantly switch between them. Even when we were sitting having dinner or occasionally in the middle of aerobics, she would be replying to somebody. Looking back, that is probably the best way of describing how I felt around her. Not jealous, not suspicious, just uneasy. There was always a feeling that I was only seeing one small part of her life.
Despite that, I kept seeing her because when we were together, she was incredibly easy to be around. We would spend time talking, drinking at bars she had chosen and then head back to the hotel where we would spend the evening together making love.
She was a true firecracker. Afterwards, we would often lie talking about completely ordinary things. Those moments felt genuine enough that the strange behavior never seemed important until her phone started to vibrate. After a couple of months, she suggested we spend a weekend together abroad somewhere like Vietnam, Singapore or Malaysia. It sounded like a good idea, cheap flights, a decent hotel and a chain change of scenery. So when I was back home in the UK, I booked us a weekend in KL. I had never been before and thought it would be a decent location for a good weekend. In those days, you could get a five-star hotel for around 100 pounds. That’s around 4,300 baht at today’s rate. So it was It was it was no brainer. I flew back to Thailand in June 2019, spent a couple of nights by myself around Nana, then arranged to meet her at Don Mueang Airport. Even then, there were little things that struck me as odd. She traveled to the airport alone. We checked in separately.
She boarded first and sat near the front of the aircraft, while I was much further back. We barely spoke to each other during the flight.
When we landed, she walked quickly through immigration without waiting for me. By the time I’d cleared passport control and reached baggage reclaim, she was already standing there waiting, smiling as though nothing unusual had happened. I asked why she had rushed off. She just shrugged and smiled.
Discovering a Thai Girlfriend’s Secret Marriage
It did not matter. Before long, we were in a taxi and headed into town. We stayed at the Traders Hotel overlooking the city. A great hotel with a nice rooftop pool and some great views. I remember checking in because the male receptionist looked at her, smiled, commented on how beautiful she was. She thanked him politely and carried on as though she had heard the same thing countless times before. I was filled with pride. The weekend itself started exactly as I had hoped. A quick shower, a beer from the mini bar, then straight between the sheets for a marathon aerobic session. The next day, we wandered around town. It was really nice. We had a few drinks, meals, and enjoyed the scenery. We took photos, had a romantic dinner and several cocktails overlooking the city. Back at the hotel, we went swimming, ordered room service, and generally did what any young couple on a weekend away would do. Nothing dramatic happened. In fact, it was probably the most relaxed I’d seen her.
Although there were times when she was on her phone, I bit my tongue and I let it slide. Then on the Sunday morning, everything changed. Her phone started ringing while we were getting ready to go out. She looked at the screen and immediately went quiet. She rejected the call. A few seconds later, it rang again. Then another phone started ringing. Then messages began arriving. She disappeared into the bathroom. Within 10 minutes she was in tears. She told me she had something she needed to explain. She was married. She believed that somehow her husband had discovered she was in Kuala Lumpur with another man. Her husband was not just anybody. He was a senior police officer in Bangkok and from what she was trying to explain, he seemed quite important. I had spent enough time in Thailand to know that a senior police officer was not someone you wanted looking for you.
I genuinely was not surprised though. I had expected something like this. My immediate thought was that I did not want to be with her. She needed to go. I started looking for flights back to Bangkok for her immediately. She was becoming increasingly distressed and seemed to be on the phone to her mum or auntie. Her plans changed almost immediately. She would return to Bangkok on her own. Good. I was so relieved. I recall booking the flight for her. I think it left at 7:00 p.m. But she left the room straight away. No goodbyes, no smiles, nothing. She packed her bag and left. She must have sat at the airport for 5 hours.
Discovering the Secret Marriage in Bangkok
Thank God she was gone. To be honest, it was the most relieved I had felt in years. All the stress from the last couple of days came out. I opened the mini bar, cracked a beer, and started looking at Tinder or whatever dating app was being used back in 2019. I was on holiday and going to enjoy myself. Then reality hit me. He was a senior police officer. I swore out loud. Could he be waiting for me? Did he know my name? I had no idea. Our original plan had been to fly back into Bangkok together landing at Don Mueang Airport. After everything she had told me, that no longer felt like a particularly good idea. Whether the risk was real or not, I was not especially keen on arriving on the return flight knowing her husband supposedly knew she was in Kuala Lumpur with another man. I got on my phone and started looking at alternatives. AirAsia had some cheap flights available and for around 100 pounds I was able to change my plans completely.
Rather than fly straight back, I booked a flight to Ho Chi Minh City, spent a short time there and then caught a separate AirAsia flight into Bangkok. Looking back, the journey home probably was not nearly as risky as it felt. Nothing actually happened. Nobody stopped me. Nobody questioned me. I eventually arrived home to the UK safely and tried to put the whole experience behind me. A few weeks later, curiosity got the better of me. I started looking her up online. Eventually, I found her husband’s Facebook page and translated his posts. The story that emerged was completely different from the one she had painted. According to him, she had a history of cheating, lying, and gambling. There were posts describing attempts to rebuild their marriage followed by further lies and cheating. I also found several of her old Facebook profiles. She seemed to reinvent herself every few months using different names and different versions of her life. There were also references to her spending time working in Singapore before returning to Thailand.
Looking back, I do not regret meeting her.
It was not some great relationship and it certainly was not the beginning of a future together. It was simply one of many strange stories in my life that Thailand tends to create every once in a while.
