How Thailand Cost Him His Retirement Plan
I was delighted when I was offered a job in Singapore. I was recently divorced, wondering what had gone wrong with my life and I was seeking a change entirely. Up until getting divorced, the thought of working overseas was something far from my mind. It never even crossed my mind. After getting divorced and losing custody of my children, getting away from the area as far away as possible seemed to be the only logical step for me. I’m not saying that I wanted to not be close to my children because I did, but she made my life a living hell. Seeing my children was an uphill struggle and a battle involving the courts, and I just didn’t want to have to go through with that. It’s something that I regret. I should have gone through with it and I should have pressured myself and felt uncomfortable in order to be able to see my children more, but I didn’t do that and there’s no point beating around the bush on that. I started looking pretty much as soon as getting divorced for opportunities overseas.
Never thought about it before, not once. That’s very important to say because it was the furthest thing from my mind. All of a sudden, going out into the world seemed like it was going to be the best thing for me to do. Bear in mind, I was already 52. I’d already built a career, never seemed to achieve things that I wanted to achieve, never made as much money as I wanted to make, never built as much as I wanted to build. But I was happy with my lot in life until a divorce, until losing a lot of money from the divorce. I was just applying for positions in my field, which was software development or something akin to that. If you want to know exactly what I did, I was a Linux system administrator, but I was just going to do much into that because there’s no point. I also developed my own things on the side for a hobby, which I preferred to have called myself that. I was offered this position in Singapore back in 2015, and it was a thrill to be able to get on that plane and leave home behind once and for all because I thought I’m never going back.
My children were of an age where they would be able to come and visit me. I thought I would pay for them to come and visit me. That never happened. But that’s something and one of the reasons why I justified not being with them because believing that they would come and see me. But again, it didn’t happen. I got to Singapore 2015, paid for by the company that employed me. Got everything set up and got settled in and immediately felt right at home. Asia, if you’ve never been, it’s a big continent, of course it is, but it’s got something about it that’s very hard to put your finger on. If you’re comparing it to Europe where I’m from or other places that I’ve been, it’s got an essence to it. Like everybody’s on the go, everybody’s busy, everybody’s out to get theirs.
I suppose it’s in a way similar to how things used to be decades ago where I came from where now where I come from, everything seems to have been sanitized and regimented into place where you can still go out and do things, but the rules and regulations there are so much more restrictive. So, it’s very more difficult for somebody to get theirs where I’m from than it is somewhere like Singapore. At least that’s how I felt when I landed and just felt this newfound sense of energy come over me like this is one of the best decisions I’d ever made. I couldn’t believe how I felt there. It really did feel amazing. Not only was I going to be paid a reasonable salary, again, reasonable is quite hard to put your finger on because of how expensive Singapore was, even then. Singapore was very expensive. Although I was paid quite well after paying for accommodation and living expenses, I would be putting a little bit of money away, but nothing to write home about. That’s not what this was about. It wasn’t about that for me.
It was about building something. It was about getting something. It was about getting to a point in life where I was just going to enjoy myself. I’d already been heavily paying into a pension, which remained mine after the divorce. That was something that I diligently did ever since I left school. I suppose that was one of the things that allowed me this little bit of an adventure to Singapore, knowing that when I hit a certain age, probably only 3 years from then, I believe it was, I’m going to be getting a pension. It’s going to be about 2 grand a month, and all that’s well and good. This was just something a bit different to me, and I fit in straight away. I was attracted to the historic side of Singapore, something I’d always done and researched about. Never been before, mind, never been to Asia before up until then.
But I always found it fascinating how the history of the country molded into such a fantastic citysite that it had become. I’ll get into things very shortly, I promise. I used to love walking around the old areas and imagine what it was like a long time ago. And then you’ve got the modern skyscrapers right next to it. It really was a fantastic place to reinvent myself. After everything went wrong for me at home, I stopped thinking about all the money I’d lost. I stopped thinking about the years of arguments and the years of heartache and upset caused by my ex. I started thinking about me for a change and looking forwards to life for a change. Looking forward to what the future held. I was probably contemplating retirement at 55.
Discovering Southeast Asia
Although I didn’t really think when I landed in Singapore that I would want to do that. I thought I would want to continue because I hit the ground running at the job that I was doing. I fit in with the team. The team were fantastic. They were a group of Singaporeans and expats from lots of different countries. It was a stressful job, lot of hard work, but it was rewarding. Over the first couple of weeks, I’m settling in, finding my way, enjoying the place where I’m living in. Only a small place I was living in, but it really was modern and life was great. The reason I’m starting in Singapore for my story is, of course, I do end up in Thailand. Of course I do.
Thailand is not very far away from Singapore, is it? After I’d been in Singapore, I would guess for 3 months. Lots of people tended to go away for weekends to places like Thailand. I thought I would go to Thailand myself because a few guys in the office tended to do it. I wasn’t going to be going with any of them. I wanted to go by myself. And it was only, I believe, 2 hours away from Bangkok. The flights were cheap. Fly on a Friday, come back on a Sunday, and you’re going to have a good time and not really feel like you even traveled because it’s so close. Think going to Spain from England.
Think that that’s going to Thailand from Singapore. Then you’re realizing all the other countries around the region that you can go to. Indonesia is not very far. Malaysia’s even closer. You’ve got Vietnam. You’ve got all these wonderful places I was thinking about exploring as the time went by. Using the little bit of extra money that I was earning. Put some away, use some for traveling and having a good time. When I got to Thailand, this was still 2015. Right at the end of 2015, I felt something that I felt in Singapore, but it was exemplified.
It was multiplied. And on heart, I hadn’t really been a night owl in Singapore. I went out with the guys from the office a few times. I walked around Clark Key. I loved it there. And I loved Little India. I loved lots of the places where you’re seeing the different cultures and how they’re all intermingling together. And I was loving that and going for a few beers. But Thailand seemed to be set up, or at least Bangkok, where I was for this weekend. Thailand, Bangkok seem to be set up for night life and for entertainment a lot more than Singapore.
Singapore is where you went to earn, to work, and to build. Thailand is where you went to relax, wind down, and let loose. I really believed that that was the case. My first night in Bangkok, Friday, I got there around 9:00 p. m. Staying in Sumbat, which was recommended to me by the guys in the office. I suppose I did the typical let’s go and look at the bars because that’s what you do in Bangkok, isn’t it? especially if you’re a single guy, especially if you’ve been recommended that by people who have done it. Even something is worth mentioning. The guy or one of the guys who was working in the office, he was Singaporean, but he was married to a Thai.
I don’t believe he met her in a bar. That didn’t seem to be the case. But everyone was talking about the girls in Thailand and how beautiful they were and how different they were and how feminine they were. I believed that I needed a bit of female companionship, seeing as though I hadn’t had anything since my ex and I landed in Bangkok. As I said, succumbed straight to Suumbit Soy 4, which again was recommended to me by the guys. You’ve got the Nana Plaza there, but aside from that, you’ve also got other more intimate style bars. This was back in 2015, and to say I had a good time would be the world’s biggest understatement. I had the time of my life. I just felt in tune with what Bangkok was and what the bars were. Of course, I’m going on about this in a lot more detail because it’s very fairly relevant to my story.
First Trips To Thailand
I wanted to go off and talk about times I’d had in Singapore and the places I’d been, but that wouldn’t really be relevant. So, I might as well say that my first bar experience, it changed me just like Singapore changed me when I got there for the first time. It wasn’t something that made me a different person or anything like that, but it changed my understanding of the world and what was available out there in the world. It made me come to terms with the fact that life can be very different. I was already experiencing that being in Singapore. Life can be so much different if you’re willing to take yourself out of your comfort zone for a split second or a split moment and actually let loose a bit and go experience different things. There I was sitting in a bar in Bangkok. Guys around who were doing the same thing. Some of them looked like seasoned regulars. Some of them looked like complete newbies just like me and the girls there who before long you’re chatting to one of them and it’s a conversation as old as time.
I’ve learned because I’ve listened to lots of stories and I’ve done lots of things, heard lots of guys talking about it and it’s the conversations that always appear to be the same every time. I guess that’s what’s fun about it because you know exactly what to expect. It was the first time for me though and I’m finding out little bits of information about this girl or things that she’s willing to offer up. Her English was very very basic. She was mid-20s and she was just the sort of girl that you’d be interested in when you were that age but wouldn’t be able to have. My ex wasn’t the most attractive. I mean I wasn’t either. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but she wasn’t attractive. This girl though she was. I would like to use the word sublime to describe her appearance.
We’re just chatting and drinking and before long we’re playing pool. And it was such a fun experience that although nothing happened more than that, I just left that night back to the hotel feeling like I’ve enjoyed myself so much more than I have for such a long time. I wake up on the Saturday morning and I had all these different plans to go and look at some of the main tourist areas in Bangkok. I wanted to go to the Grand Palace, which is very cliche, isn’t it? Everyone goes there. I mean, I never did because I just thought, what’s the point? It’s as if the main tourist side of Thailand that many people go to see is just there and it’s an excuse to go. What you’re really going for is the entertainment side of things. The girls and the bars and the cheap food and the cheap drink and the cheap entertainment. I just made my way that day on the Saturday back down to Sukumbit Soy 4.
Had an English breakfast in that English pub couple of hundred meters down the soy. Enjoyed that and walked around for a bit. Then I can’t even remember what happened. Couple of hours go by and I find myself drinking again reasonably early in the afternoon and this time I’m meeting another girl. She was like the girl I spoke to the day before, but even more beautiful, even more feminine in every single way. I just felt this opportunity was too good to miss. I knew exactly what went along with this kind of thing. The thought of becoming serious with a girl that worked in a bar was something that wasn’t going to happen for me. That was when things went a little bit further, though. That was when I suppose I became hooked on the idea of finding a girl who wasn’t a bar girl, who was somebody like me in the younger form, somebody with the same ambitions as me, the same drive as me, and the same hopes of a life as me.
I was drawn to the fact they could hopefully meet a girl from Thailand, and she could be my second go at marriage, second go at happiness. Of course, that wasn’t going to be in a bar. I have to stress that again. It wasn’t in a bar before anyone gets on their high horse and says otherwise. It was a great experience. Thailing like that for the first time, Bangkok for the first time, Tigers for the first time, and I left back to Singapore. Then you find yourself having chats with guys in the office or some of them. I mean, it was quite a big office, so you don’t see people all the time, a couple of different floors, and you might run into someone occasionally and have a chat with them. This guy find out that he goes every week, this guy goes every month. And it’s one of those things that you really understand why people like to go to Thailand because by the time you’ve spent the for the flights and the hotels and the and the entertainment, it’s probably costing you the same as going out for a few nights in Singapore and going wild in Singapore.
I mean, that’s how extreme the difference was and that’s why it’s worth doing. When I’m back in Singapore, I’m really enjoying work and I’m thinking about all the time going back to Thailand and meeting a girl from there and taking things further with her. What I decided to do after I’d not been back for very long was join a dating site. I wanted to arrange a few dates with girls for a particular weekend. Maybe arrange a date with four or five different girls, see how things go with them, and then head back to Singapore and see what happened from there. That’s what I was considering. I thought about joining a dating site in Singapore, but one thing I found in Singapore, there were lots of Thai girls there. The ones who were there though, they were more out of tune with Thailand to the point where you’re not necessarily meeting a Thai girl like you would in Thailand. You’re meeting a Thai girl in Singapore who’s already experienced these different things, who’s maybe more westernized in that regard. Not westernized in the sense of being Western because they’ve never been to the West, but Singapore version of Asia, which is a lot more westernized.
Dating A Thai Woman
Then you might meet a girl and she’s got similar ambitions. of course was looking for someone with similar ambitions too, but not with someone necessarily with the ability to go for those ambitions herself. Her ambition should be family and me. Her ambitions would be building a life together with me and being the best version of herself to allow me to work as hard as I could. I was thinking about having more children, too, because I felt like I wanted to start another family. Crazy thoughts I was having at the time. Thankfully, that never happened. I joined this tide, arranged to meet, I think it was four or five girls on the following weekend and all of them for an hour at a time. That was the idea. Each of them I chatted to and spoke to and got to know a bit online.
Not greatly, but it was all set and I felt it was amazing. I didn’t question that the girls I was going to meet were in their mid-20s. Why would they be dating me? I knew it was for financial reasons, but I thought that there would also be the bar side of things and the massage side of things that these girls weren’t. Like if you do meet a girl in a bar, it was different. And these weren’t in a bar, so it was. I didn’t realize though that people would do that. Like they would work in the bars and then meet people on a site and kind of lie. I thought if you were going to beat a girl on a dating site, it was because she was specifically not a bar girl. And that was a huge error of my ways.
I get back to Thailand again, so excited to be there and feel so great to be there, too. And immediately went to meet the first girl. I ended up cancelling all the other dates with all the other girls. It just felt like what I had with her straight away was right. I had an inkling that that would be the case because I’d spoken to her online a few times and she just seemed quite similar to that second girl that I met where the girl that things went a little bit further with. She did seem quite similar to her. I found her so elegant. I found her very, very feminine, 24 years old. She had a kid, but I had kids too, so that didn’t matter. She was from Ean, which was something I found quite quaint and attractive.
didn’t know that that was a place where most of the girls that foreign guys met are from. I had no idea. She was from a village in Isan, living in Bangkok, working in Bangkok. She said she was a nursing assistant or something along those lines. She said that she’s been out of work at the moment and she’s just looking for another job, spending a bit of time with friends and maybe going to visit her family again soon. I just took that as gospel because why would you lie about that? I had no idea that she was a bar girl. No idea whatsoever. This would come out a lot later. I thought that this was great.
I’m really getting along with her when I’m meeting her for the first hour and that’s why I cancel those other dates and we spend more time together. Again, I didn’t and I should have questioned the fact that she spent that first night with me as if it was anything out of the ordinary. She didn’t want any money. She didn’t want anything at all like that. She wanted what I felt was a serious relationship. And I believe I’m building this relationship with her, but it’s not even been a relationship yet because we’ve only just met. I believe I’ve met someone who I could spend a lot more time with. She ends up staying with me throughout the whole of the Saturday and all of the Sunday. Then I’m going back to Singapore. And I wanted to see what it felt like being apart from her because I just felt so amazing to be with her.
It felt amazing I’d met her and I just felt great. Then you start doing these comparisons between your ex, the one who destroyed your life. Then you’re starting to think, if she hadn’t destroyed my life, if she hadn’t done the things she did, then I wouldn’t even be in this part of the world in the first place. I wouldn’t be living with doing these amazing things. I wouldn’t be able to experience such wonderful things that were so far away from anything I was able to do before or even contemplate or even imagine. This is something that I will honestly say it’s very difficult for someone sitting at home in a western country who’s perhaps been and visited Asia maybe once or twice at most, maybe with family or somebody not by themselves. It’s very difficult for them to actually picture life different to the life that they’re living right now. I couldn’t picture what life would be like if I was back at home with my ex just doing that. What other people would be experiencing in Asia? I couldn’t picture it.
Bringing Her To Singapore
I would never have thought that it would be something I could have been possible for me. I would never have contemplated it. But when you’re actually living it and you’re looking back to your old life and how you used to wake up at the same time every day, do everything the same routines, the daily routine, and you’d jump in the car, you’d drive half an hour to work, you’d park in the same car parking spot, and you’d go up and sit in the same desk, and you’d work all day, have lunch at the same time, go and have the same sandwich from the same shop, go back in the car half an hour to home, park up, go inside the house, follow the same routines again, go to bed, and repeat. Then you’d have weekends occasionally where you’d do the same things. And if you’re lucky, you’d have two weeks a year to be able to go on holiday. Then you’d be on holiday and there’d be arguments and fighting because your wife would be just being difficult and not behaving in an appropriate way. To think that there’s such a different life out there. You’re going into the office in Singapore. Okay, you’ve got to sit in the same desk and you’re going to enjoy what it is. But you go home and then you’ve got the evening to not just sit and do the same things.
You could go out for something to eat. You could go to Little India. you could do and go to all the different parts of Singapore, have something to eat there or drink or whatever. Then at the weekends, you can fly to Bangkok. Okay, I was going to fly to different countries, I thought, and I was just ended up going to Thailand instead because I just felt something for the country. That’s what was different. That’s how life could be. It’s so different and it’s so amazing to actually be able to do something so much better. I was in Singapore, probably got back after meeting that girl, thinking that this is everything that life’s meant to be. I’m enjoying myself and I’m happy and I’m thinking about going to Tana the next weekend to go and see her again.
You have to remember return tickets were probably less than 100 quid. Hotels for 20 quid a night and it was so affordable. You’re not spending a lot of money to be able to go there. We’re speaking daily after I got back and speak go back from work. How are you? And have you found another job yet? Not yet. I’m just staying with some friends at the moment. She said or whatever it was. Of course, knowing now what I know, she was a bar girl.
Who would have guessed that was the thing though? We were speaking regularly and I will say and I told her I’d see her on Friday after I finished work. I don’t know how I was going to get serious with her so quickly. I don’t know how I was moving so fast to be with her. I don’t know what was happening. Perhaps it was because I was starting to think about trying to get her to go to Singapore with me. Perhaps that was a thing at the time. I believe she could have stayed in Singapore for 30 days without a visa. And I said to her on the Sunday, “Do you want to come to Singapore with me?” And you could look start looking for a job when you come back.
She said she’d love to, but she didn’t have a passport, so I flew back to Singapore. She applied for a passport, did everything, and I flew back to Thailand the following Friday, and she had everything already for the passport, and she went with me to Singapore, and that was her first time flying on a plane. It felt amazing to be able to give her that experience. Amazing that it was her first time out of the country to give her that experience. I might jump ahead a bit and I’ll come back to the story soon, knowing that whatever she’s doing in her life now, that I was her first airplane and I was her first out of the country, she will always remember that. At least that’s a little bit of a mark that you can say that I’d made. It was only a small price to pay though for such a minor thing. I say it was probably the opposite though, but again, that’s beside the point. In Singapore, I’m finding that I’m really falling for her even more. No question that the age gap was wrong.
No question that what I’m doing was wrong or that she’s not happy or that I’m not happy because we both were. When you’re learning about more about her, about how much she said she earned from her job. She said she only made 10,000 a month. I’m thinking to myself, that’s how much I spend or more than that on a weekend, and I’m making so much more than that and saving more than that. So, what’s the point of her even looking for another job? I even said to her, how about if I gave you 10,000 bat a month? She just always used to stay in bat because it was easy for her. She could never get her head around other currencies. But how about if I give you 10,000 B a month and you don’t need to have a job anymore and we’ll see if you can stay in Singapore with me and get a visa because I’ve got a proper visa here. So let’s see if we can do that.
Money Requests Begin
This is going on over the course of the month of her being with me in Singapore when things are getting more serious and we’re talking about things and talking about what the future and now life would be like. That’s something that she said she would like to do. I felt no qualms whatsoever giving her some money. No problem. For 10,000 BAT a month, it was nothing. Nothing at all. And I even approached my work and said that I’d met someone and can I get a visa for them? But they said that no, we’re not married. It was going to be difficult to do that. Of course, when you say that you’re not married and if you get married, then potentially you can get the visa because you’re working here.
And it’s sort of like I don’t remember exactly what it was, but it was a question of if you get married, you can do it. Suppose that was why marriage became such an obvious next step, such an obvious choice. I asked her to marry me. Probably I would say 25 days or so after we’d been in Singapore. And we had about 5 days of her being left there. I asked her to marry me. She said yes. And all of a sudden, I’m engaged. I’m not thinking about the past anymore. Not thinking about anything other than building this future.
I’ve got a good job. I’m saving bits of money. I’m not saving a fortune. But I got my pension coming at some point. Then I’ve got this overarching feeling that life is actually working for me for a change. I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend who is now my fianceé and we’re going to get married actually in Thailand. I was going to take some time off work and actually had holiday allowance that I hadn’t used yet for two whole weeks. This was 2016 at this point for 2 weeks. I was going to be going with her to Thailand. We were going to go to the beach for a bit.
Going to get married. We’re going to spend a bit of time in Bangkok. And we’re going to go and visit her family. Going to do everything, the whole nine yards. I was going to learn more about where she was from and things about her and her family. And it was such an exciting, wonderful time. And it’s quite difficult to think how badly things went wrong. How did they go badly wrong? I have no idea. Well, I do know because I was doing things I should never have done.
Simple. We went back to Thailand. Oh, actually, she went back first for 2 weeks because that was when I was getting my holiday. I felt bad letting her go by herself. She was going up to the family, though, to give them the good news and to spend a bit of time with them. and I followed two weeks later. I’d already got all the paperwork I needed to get married and that was the first thing we did. Registered the marriage at the district office in Bangkok with the help of an agent. Smooth sailing, plain as day, as easy as pie. Very, very straightforward process.
It only took a few days and all of a sudden I married again, a married man. I had a wedding ring that I was wearing with pride and she had one too. And we were like two peas in a pod. I found we were just meant to be together and I couldn’t believe how happy I was and how everything seemed to be just falling into place for me so well. Again, thinking back to my old life, thinking how did I tolerate all of that for all those decades? How did I live like that for all that time doing those things, the same things day after day for no apparent reward? I mean, I did have the reward because I had my pension, but even still, it just felt like a very, very big price to pay for a very small reward at the end of the day. After we registered the marriage, we went for my first time going to the beach in Thailand down to Phuket. That was like nowhere else I’d ever been before. I’d been to lots of beaches before, but the beaches in Thailand were completely on a whole other level to any of the beaches you’re going to see in Europe.
Meeting The Family
I mean, at least to most of the places I’d been. I’d been to occasional really beautiful beach, clear waters in certain parts of the region. But even still, this was on a whole other level in Phuket. An amazing place. spent a few days there, beautiful resort and just in love and happy and it was amazing. It really, really was. Then it was going up to the family. I suppose I had my first nasty little shock. Now, we were already married at this point legally. No talk whatsoever from her about any kind of customs or traditions or scam sort as I like to call sinsort.
No idea about anything to do with that. It wasn’t raised. It wasn’t talked about. I hadn’t done any research into that. I wasn’t a Thailand guy after all. I just went to Thailand a few times and found my way with her. No idea about anything else. As soon as I arrived in the village, which was in Buram, really nice town, Bury Ram. If anything, it was no complaints about that. Spent a night in Buram town first, but as soon as I arrived in the village, that felt like I wouldn’t say medieval because that’s a bit too extreme, but it felt like a different planet to where the towns and the cities were and the Bangkok and Bouet and those places.
It was so different. So I wouldn’t even say backwards because that’s wrong. That’s just how the people lived and they seem to be happy doing that. But the first thing I would should say and let’s start with the positives. The people were friendly, welcoming, and happy. Happy to share what little they had even though they didn’t have anything. I get it though. On the one front, the family side of things in Thailand is very different to the family side of things at home. The families share things and the families. If one family member is okay, everyone’s okay.
If one’s not okay, everyone will step in and help. kind of in a way their cultures baked into them. It’s as if because you’re from the west perhaps you’re more enlightened to be able to look at somebody else’s culture and take on board their culture. It’s as if and the thing that I never sort of understand is why is it that we have to take on board their culture and their way of doing things almost forbatim and completely forgo any single thing about our own culture. Okay, because you’re in Thailand, but when you’re back at home in England, it doesn’t work like that, too. We have to allow other people to enjoy their cultures and do things their way. It really is very two-faced. I believe because how things technically work historically where I came from, the girls family pays for the wedding. Now, I wasn’t expecting that to happen, but I said to her as soon as we had the pleasantries and that got out of the way, and it seemed to be some kind of negotiation going on and I’m learning about Sinsot for the first time, scams, as I like to call it, when they’re having those conversations. I told her where I come from, the girl’s family pays for the wedding.
I told her, “I’m not expecting you to do that.” And but what’s this handing money over? She said, “It’s just a Thailand thing and that’s what people do.” Well, I wasn’t about to just believe that. I did some research and some googling and having a look on the phone and on the internet, so I suppose lots of people do pay it. But if you look at the actual meaning of what it is, it’s not exactly what she was saying it was. For example, she had a kid, therefore, it shouldn’t have been accepted. She worked in a bar. Well, I didn’t know she worked in a bar at this time. I didn’t know that at all.
But it shouldn’t have been warranted for that. It was just as if a family were using her in a way to enrich themselves. I never thought a family would do that, but that seemed to be what it was like. And if I’m looking back, basically, they wanted half a million back, which was a lot of money. They wanted that. They wanted me to pay for the wedding. And if I wasn’t going to pay for that, then she wouldn’t be able to get married to me. Completely illogical because I literally said to her, “Tell them we are already married.” But she said, “No, I can’t do that. We were already married.
Pressure For A Truck
She was my wife.” And it’s scary how much say and how much control her family had over her and why she was prepared to do what she was prepared to do. Even to this day, I still don’t get it. How can she put so much respect and so much passion into her beliefs about her family when her family were living in not a tin hut, tin roof on the hut? They were living in a shack. They had nothing. How can she believe that they’re right when she’s looking at me? She had the ability to go to Singapore, the ability to do this, the ability to do that, the ability to have a better life with me. Why doesn’t she look at the one who had things and think perhaps this is the person who can best make the best decisions? Again, that’s my logical mind, but there’s no logic in Thailand, is there?
Of course, I agreed eventually to give them this money. They were all happy again, and 2 days later, we’re in the village, and there’s a huge party going on, which cost me a lot of money. Everyone’s smiling, everyone’s happy, and I suppose I had gotten over that initial sting. It was a lot of money coming out of my savings, but it had to be done. Once that’s out of the way, I had no inkling that that was just going to be a down payment to further expectations. No inkling whatsoever. We leave the village, spend a little bit more time in Bangkok, and she’s going back to Singapore with me. Just a 30-day stamp trying to sort out her living in Singapore with me, which sorted out eventually. Couple of back and forths to Thailand, or a number of back and forths to Thailand. Then everything’s good and everything’s happy over the first couple of months.
when it was back in Thailand and when she was actually going to be going to Singapore on a better visa. We were up visiting the family again. The family‘s all happy and smiley and they’ve got this brand new motorcycle parked outside. They’ve got this huge TV now and they’ve got well, lots of stuff. Lots of stuff. Obviously, they’d spent every little bit of that money. No thoughts of saving it or investing it or doing anything clever with it. None at all. It was all spent. All of it.
It was as if they had somehow grown accustomed to having money to spend. Because when we’re there and we’re chatting and talking, my wife, who when she’s just with me and not with her family, is like a different person. She talks about her family occasionally, but it’s like they don’t have anything over her. Yet, it’s something over her when she’s there. Eventually, it comes out that they need this pickup truck. They need a pickup truck. Note the word need. What do they need a pickup truck for? I asked. Well, they just need it.
Surely, they’ve got a lot of money. They can buy a secondhand one with the money I gave, but no, they’ve already spent it. She’s pointing out everything they bought and but they need this pickup. Oh, okay. Well, they’re going to have to work for it or they’ll have to get financed and they can’t get financed apparently, but they need this pickup. She wasn’t directly saying straight away, can you buy one or anything like that? She wasn’t insinuating then. I mean, she was insinuating it, but it was like they needed it. Okay, so what do you mean, Papa? Well, that’s what she called Dad.
Papa asked if you can buy a pickup for them because you’re in the family now. So it will be like my pickup, she said. Or our pickup and we can use it anytime. We don’t live here. We come very occasionally. So it’s not our pickup, is it? It’s theirs. But it will go in Papa’s name, she said. And anyway, she wants it bought for him. Anyway, I don’t know what to say.
Life Between Singapore And Thailand
I kept trying to ask her what she’s talking about, how she thought this was a good thing for her to expect. I told her I didn’t think it was a good idea. It wasn’t like they wanted the most expensive one, but it was still one of those manual transmission Toyota Hiluxes. One of the two door ones, no double or single cab or anything, but it was a basic one, but still just over half a million baht. He wants this because he’s just started to grow more things on some land. Apparently, he’d bought some land with some of that money or money that I gave just a small plot and he needs to be able to transport things that he grows. She kept saying it would be our pickup. Our pickup. Don’t worry about it. Our pickup.
The strange thing is, and something I still don’t know today, is why did I agree to do it? I’d already handed over half a million baht plus the cost of the wedding. And I just agreed pretty much within a couple of hours of her asking to buy them a pickup truck and handed over the money again, and that came out of my investments. Okay. It took a couple of days to get the money, but even still, I just agreed to it. I don’t know why I did, but I did. When am I leaving the village after he’s got this shiny new pickup which we just went to buy from Toyota and we’re there a couple of days later and he’s got it very happy. Our pickup though he let me drive it too. Fully enough. I went for a drive around the village in this pickup.
Our pickup, she kept saying and of course in her mind perhaps it was in some kind of warped way. But in my mind it wasn’t. It was his. My pickup would have meant nobody else would be able to use it. Now this was got out of me and I should say in terms of savings what I had. Of course, I had my pension which was due at 55 which I’d paid into diligently for years. That was okay. I had about 150 grand on top. I think at the time now I had about 120 grand left after I’d spent money on the wedding and the sins sort and this pickup 120 left which didn’t feel too bad. It was almost my plan though ever since I moved to Singapore to invest in a place to live when I got to retirement age and just live.
I was happy in Singapore working and I was paying. I mean I was earning quite good money and I was happy with it. Life was okay. wasn’t expecting to really do what I done with the sins and the pickup truck, but I’d done it. I had paid. We’re back in Singapore and we’re happy again and it’s not talked about. It’s like you can’t really make this stuff up. You can’t make it up at all. But after we’d been back in Singapore for less than a month at the most, we were out. Clark Key, funnily enough, loved it there, as I’ve already said.
Loved all the little bars and the restaurants. Very expensive though, but again, who cares? It’s Singapore. It is expensive. We’re having something to eat and her phone rings and she picks it up and it’s mama. That’s what she called her mother. Oh, mama called me, she said. Of course, it wasn’t on the phone because she wouldn’t have paid for that. It was on the internet app. And she picks it up and immediately something’s wrong.
What’s happened? Well, papa, right off pickup. Oh, dear me. It’s insured, isn’t it? Yes, it was insured. But problem? What’s the problem? This is her talking to me after we had, you know, after she’d finished speaking. Basically, when you buy a car in Thailand, it’s fully insured. you get free insurance as part of buying it.
Truth About The Bar
They only insure it though up to 80% of the value for some strange reason. It’s not upsured to the 100%. So he’d written off this brand new pickup driving drunk, wrapped it around a tree and okay, somehow he’s done that and it’s written off. So they can claim on the insurance, but we need some more help. That’s what she said. They didn’t know how to do all this stuff. Ultimately, what was going to happen was to replace the pickup and buy a new one. It was going to cost me more money. 10 and something thousand bad. And I’m just flabbergasted about how insane this sounds and how ridiculous it is.
And it’s sort of welcome to Thailand. Welcome to village life. Welcome to how things are written off this damn pickup. And I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was full insured in it was. But the way insurance was, as I said, it doesn’t make sense to me. 80% instead of the whole value. She asked, “Can you help them with this?” And he’s used to having the pickup now. Oh, okay.
I will. So that’s more money just gone like that. And I don’t know why I’m doing it at the time, but I sort of do because I believe all the nonsense that she sold about me, about how I’m now in the family. Okay, I can push back on things and say, well, I’m not really doing it. It’s not my pickup, but I believe what she’s saying. I feel like I am welcome. I feel like she is welcoming me, and she’s allowing me to be in her life, into her culture, and her family is too. I believe that’s why I was doing it for some moral sense of guilt and moral sense of obligation that shouldn’t have even been there. Again, I’m handing over this money for this pickup. Okay, there you go.
Don’t write it off again. Can you try and ensure it for more? No can do. That was just another shock. In terms of life, that’s good. She’s wild. She’s fun. She’s energetic. And she’s lively. She’s everything you’d want in a girl.
Life is great. And life is ticking over. A couple of weeks go by or a month goes by and another month goes by and we’re back in Thailand again, having the time of my life again, spending that money believing I shouldn’t have done it. I’m not spending any savings other than when the family needs it for the sins. the wedding, the pickup and the pickup problem. I’m not spending anything apart from that. Everything else is coming out of my salary and I suppose I’m not saving as much because we’re just having a good time all the time. We’re back in Thailand down at the beach and she raises something that she never talked about before. She started talking about the future and what to do in the future. I always said I wanted to retire and I’ve got my pension and I’m okay working at the moment and I’m happy.
Although I wasn’t 55 yet, I thought I’d be working longer than that because I was just really enjoying the job I was doing. I suppose if you can like what you’re doing, that’s beneficial. But I kept saying when I retire, we’ll live somewhere and we’ll get an income and that’s what I wanted to do. She said the same thing for her. That’s the same thing that she wanted to do. But bear in mind, I still hadn’t found out that she used to work in a bar yet. That comes, I suppose, quite soon, which is very soon, actually. We left the beach up to Bangkok. We were there for a week this time. We’re in Bangkok after 2 days being at the beach.
Land Offered By Papa
Something along those lines. And we’re walking around one evening. Soy 22. I never questioned why she went into the bars like that with me and played pool with me and everything like that. I didn’t think it was strange. I just thought it was normal. I suppose it wouldn’t have been if she didn’t work like that before. One thing happened which was very alarming. And let me just leave it like that. We were walking maybe 50 or so meters down Soy 22.
done it lots of times before and all of a sudden someone calls her name and she looks on her face and her eyes dart around and what’s going on? I didn’t think too much of it. Maybe it’s her friend or something like that again. It should have rung alarm bells even if it did. But it didn’t. But when it happened again, the name was called again. I suppose it did start to raise alarm bells. One of the problems was when the streets in Thailand are so bad, the pavements in Thailand, they’re not great at all. So you’re not walking hand in hand like you’re a couple. She’s walking about a meter in front of me and we’re navigating around and it must have been on the phone or something when I was looking at the phone and perhaps they didn’t know that we were together.
Then her name gets called that second time. That was when I looked forward and she’d stopped and there was a guy sitting in one of the bars there talking to her. I look and walk and bit forward and say hi and she’s looking a bit alarmed and startled. How are you kind of thing and it’s all what’s going on? I told her this is my wife and yeah great. This was a guy talking to her, by the way. And I felt in a way, and I don’t know exactly if this is accurate or not, like he was trying to imply that he’d met her before at the bar. He didn’t say it directly, but he kind of said it like, “I bet you’ve met been here a few times,” which he didn’t say that too, but it felt like that’s what he was trying to insinuate. I’ve bet you’ve been here a few times. Again, not insinuating it.
Where did he meet your wife? He didn’t say that, but again, it felt like by the look on his face, in actions, like he was trying to tell me something. I just didn’t really think much, but I felt like something was off. It must have been like he was implying all these different things. So I don’t know what it what he was. I wish he’d actually been direct. I don’t know. But after that incident, we set off and walking and I asked her, “How do you know that guy?” “I meet him before.” I didn’t care.
I mean, everyone has boyfriends before, but where did you meet him? And she just said, “Oh, in that bar.” Then it was like, “Well, what do you mean?” That was when I found out. What do you mean you met him in the bar? Well, I was just drinking in that bar. and well all the implies from that girl and all that and all this and well I found out basically said to her did you work there and she said oh I did and I’m sorry so I found out that she was a bar girl and it hurt me but I suppose it didn’t necessarily matter that much to me at the time it didn’t care much although it was my plan never for that to happen and I wish it didn’t but what was I meant to do I didn’t meet her in the world I didn’t meet her in a bar so again although it wasn’t what I really wanted I couldn’t do anything about it then but Our relationship was built on lies. So there you go. If I was her, would I have walked past that bar? I mean, all the girls probably knew her and they knew not to say anything.
But that guy, well, find out that I suppose I wasn’t devastated at the time. Looking back, I was because what happened was because of her being a bargle, and I didn’t want it to be a bargle in the first place, but that’s what happened. We continued on with our day. Everything’s okay. And I didn’t even feel uneasy after that after it had got over the initial shock. It was what it was. But she had lied. That was the thing. But never mind, I’d probably lied about things too. And again, that’s how I found out.
Buying Into The Dream
Then we’re back up in the village, only there for 2 days before going back to Singapore. And that’s when she starts talking again about the future. Again, I’ve completely overlooked the fact that I just found out that she worked in a bar. Never mind. Back to the future talk. She said when we were talking when we were down by the beach about how we wanted to perhaps build something in the future and live somewhere. And she said, “What about here?” Talking about the village. What about the village? She said, “Bear in mind when we’re actually using the pickup truck going into Buram town to go and get something to eat.”
So she was like forcing me to use it if say it is ours. Don’t worry about it. This is a different one though because on the other hand, it had been written off. So it was a different pickup. What about if we live here? She said, “What about that?” I told her I didn’t know. I wasn’t thinking about it or wasn’t thinking that far ahead yet. But she said, “I want to show you something.” So we go have something to eat in Buram town and go back and she’s sewing me some land.
She said this belongs to papa. Papa said that we can have this land if we wanted. Oh, how very nice. I said it was quite a big piece of land about five rye. None of it was suitable for building on yet. He’d have needed to raise it quite considerably because it floods all the time. Papa say he will give this land for us if we want to live here. I just want to know what you think about that. Let’s have a think, I told her. And that’s where we kind of left it.
I had that land in my mind for a long time thinking about it for the next couple of days and couple of weeks. I knew was a foreigner. I wasn’t able to own it, but it was kind of beside the point. That didn’t matter. We were talking about it a few more times over the next couple of months and that we were in Singapore. What about it? What can we do? But looking into and doing research into what other people have done and what other people have built and I suppose it didn’t really know. I didn’t really know many of the stories about how things went wrong all the time for guys that didn’t. I was just a guy who I didn’t live in breathe Thailand like so many people seem to do.
I didn’t know. I’d seen another couple of guys in the village who were foreigners who seemed relatively happy with their wives. And I’d seen that didn’t see any of the problems or any of the issues or the scams that went along with it. By talking about it, not as something to do urgently, but the more we talked, the more I was leaning towards that as an idea. I wasn’t for the idea like straight away, and we’re going to do this, and that’s where we’re going to live permanently. I was more along the lines of this is what we’re going to do. Let’s spend a bit of time there, a month there, and a month somewhere else. If we had a house there and we had a small little condo by the beach, my income from the pension is going to be enough. Okay, we’re not going to be saving any money now because we’re just living life, but who cares? That’s what I was thinking about.
I knew how much certain things cost and what I had left. And that had gone down a bit since the other pickup incident, and I should say another little bit of money I gave them, which I hadn’t even mentioned. I was down to about 110 grand savings, which was enough probably to buy us a small condo by the beach and build us a house. It’s probably going to be enough. So, I’ll be talking about it more. Let’s go and have a look and let’s go and actually look and work how much this house was going to cost. Bear in mind what I said. She said, “Papa, give us this land if we want it.” Papa, give spelled G I Ve. That’s what I’m thinking.
Building The Retirement House
This time when we’re back in Thailand, only there for a week again. We went straight up to the village, straight to talk to papa, talking about this land. And yeah, papa will give. Let’s go to the land office. Let’s transfer it. And it was like that wasn’t what was expecting and we arrived back. I wasn’t at all expecting it. It was the furthest thing from my mind, but it was happening so let’s do it. I loved the way it was so quick and effortless to be able to transfer the land. We went and I see it being transferred from him to her and now she’s got this land.
We had other kids who were going to different bits of land and they gave it to them. So this one was hers. We’re back at the family‘s house kind of celebrating. Even bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate. thinking about the house and she said something to me maybe you can give some money for papa for land for say thank you and I think okay how much maybe you can give 500,000 for say thank you and I was flabbergasted again what do you mean I thought he was giving it to us or her I knew I said and she said oh I forgot to say in the land office papa say that we need to give money he said he will give for us but we need to pay 500,000 100,000 for one rye very cheap price he said if he sell for somebody else it will be double or more I just went, “What do you mean it was meant to be free? I wouldn’t have agreed.” I even said that I wouldn’t have agreed if I had known. She said she was sorry. He just said this when we were transferring it and she didn’t know what to do and she couldn’t stop. Papa say you can give.
Don’t worry. The sad thing is again is after I got over the initial shock, I just said I just thought, “Well, if that’s what it’s going to take, then I’m going to have to do it, so I will.” I arranged for that money to be sent and that he had that out of me as well, another half million bat. And now it was her land. Never mind. The fact that I’m just so blasé about it, so nonchalant about it is quite remarkable looking back. It really was like that. But never mind. We got enough money anyway. Even with this, even the fact it was a shock, never mind.
What else could I do now? We had this land or she had this land. We were married, happy, I thought, putting plans into place. I believe at this point I was starting to contemplate. I Okay, I really do need to retire at 55. It’s really what I need to do. Probably 2017 at this point. I was 53 going on 54. believing we’ve only got a year and a bit left. I suppose that was when maybe 6 months after getting that land, that was when we decided to start actually phase one, which was to build the house.
It was going to be ready when retirement came and we’d found someone to build it, a proper company. We weren’t going to use the dodgy village builders who couldn’t build a straight wall or anything like that. We’re going to use a proper company. We found that it was all done. Affirming Boram, they were able to do it and we paid them in installments. The house came up mainly when we weren’t there, and we went to visit it regularly. It was coming on quite well, only singlestory, only a small three-bedroom, but all in it cost about £45,000. I say it in Sterling because that means I have, on the other hand, after the little shog probably about 60,000 left. But that cost 45 and I’m at the point under a year away from retirement. Happy in Singapore, happy everything, happy everything.
And got this house, happy with my wife, and it’s going great. Got about 60 grand left. Two grand a month coming soon, plus old age pension, which I’m going to be entitled to in a bit, I believe. Not the full amount I was going to get because I’d been working abroad, but still something. Everything seems to be going okay. I believe I’m relatively happy with things and quite calm, comfortable in the knowledge that life is going according to plan. I’m with my wife and we have the odd argument every now and then, but nothing that felt too serious or too worrying or too shocking. Nothing at all like that. Just felt normal. Normal everyday living.
Family Moves Into The House
We had this house ready and we’ve got just under a year, probably 8 months or so of work left and everything was happy. Everything is good over the next two months. We didn’t really visit the house when it was being built apart from when it was really built. We had a little party to celebrate and after that we were actually spending time in Phuket looking for the second place, looking for that condo. This could belong to me. That was the idea. A condo that could belong to me and everything would be okay and fair on that front. We only needed a small one-bedroom. That’s all we needed. and spend time between the two places and get a car and we can drive between them.
Stopping off at places along the way and really enjoy retirement. £2,000 a month is a lot of money in Thailand, I thought to live a decent life. By looking at that over the course of 2 months, we’d only been to Thailand probably over the weekends at this point, but I had another week’s holiday. That was when we were going to go up to the house and actually spend a week there. We hadn’t found anywhere by the beach yet, but we get up to the house, and I’m trying to think of a way to put this because I’ve heard this happen to other guys, too. They have the horror of seeing the family living in the house. They have the horror happened to them. That happened to me. Although she actually told me when we were going up to the house, oh, I asked my family to stay in the house for us while we’re not there to look after it because we don’t want to have any problems. So, she did inform me that it was only a temporary thing.
So, when I arrived, I wasn’t shocked, although it felt horrifying that they were there, but I wasn’t shocked because she’d let me know. And I did think it was only temporary because of that. They’re there temporarily looking after it, and that’s what it was about. Everything seemed to be in order, so it wasn’t necessarily a problem, although it was horrifying because the thought of them being there, it really kind of felt me at ease. It’s not like they’re in my bedroom or anything, though. They’re there. They’re looking after it, so so be it. Everyone’s happy, though. He’s got his pickup parked up. Everything’s fine there, so not to worry.
Another couple of months later, when we did find a place in Phuket, unfortunately, we had yet another problem. The foreign quarter was full. So I made the mistake of buying it in her name and probably had now in terms of savings just enough for a marriage visa and a car when it came to living in Thailand, which was enough because of my income. As I’ve already said, everything’s going okay there. Now we had this small condo and life seemed to be coming together so well. It was about halfway through 2018 when retirement came and everything was good. We packed it in in Singapore. It was a great time, amazing luck and amazing fortune. and we’d arrived in Thailand to start the retirement. I suppose that’s when things went badly wrong quickly, even more because the first thing is I decided to do my visa from the village.
It just seemed to be less people less worried immigration do it in Buram. I thought that was the best thing and I’m arriving there and the family are still in the house and I’m staying there for a month. I’m retired. I’m happy on one front, but the family aren’t moving out. I’m saying, “Well, when are you going to get them to move out?” And she said, “No, they’ve just decided to live here.” She’s just said it like that and I said, “What do you mean they’re going to live here? How can I enjoy the house properly? It’s only a small house.” “No, they will live here.”
Bear in mind her kid is there all the time, too. And she looks at me and her parents and basically her kids’ parents. That’s what it was like. It felt like her parents were her kids’ parents, but they weren’t. But they spent all the time together with her. It was just quite difficult. It was her grandparents, I suppose. But again, it was such a huge disappointment because that wasn’t expected at all. And the way she said they’ve decided to live here as if it was their decision. Even though I paid for it and paid for the land from him, it was not their decision.
Losing Control Of His Home
It was meant to be mine, but I felt out of control. I just told her, “What do you mean that they can live here? This is our house and they need to move out.” I even said to her and she said, “No, I can’t ask them to do that. Maybe mama and papa are upset. They cannot move out.” It was very alarming situation because it wasn’t expected. Not expected at all. and all this time and all this money and all this planning, all this effort and all I found out now they’re going to live there. They can’t do anything about it.
It was awful. And I fell out with her actually for a few days. We weren’t really on speaking terms because of it. And I really did fall out with her. I told her they need to move out, but she said they can’t. Once the visa was sorted out a couple of months later, I was not used to the idea of them living there and it felt awful. No privacy. We only had one bathroom and the habits or their habits were, let’s say, quite different to mine. That’s putting it politely. That would be the best way to put it politely.
Really was. Otherwise, it would be very crude and it was very difficult and a very uncomfortable situation. We had the condo. We decided to go and spend a bit of time there. He’d already bought a car at this point that that was mine. Luckily, I had the visa money, too, and I’d already got my pension, and everything seemed to be okay on that front. We were in the condo and living there just going out and eating and having a good time and living life. It was about again not that long. Couple of weeks after we’d been there when she said she had a call. Oh, have problem in house.
What problem? The TV fall on the wall and land on the table. Something like that. We had an expensive TV and we had a glass table underneath it with ornaments on it. It was bolted to the wall mind and but now everything’s broken. Can you send some money to fix? She said, “No, I can’t send money to fix it.” I said, “Absolutely not. I’ll fix it when I get back. Well, they want to use.
Well, they shouldn’t even be there. It was crazy what she was saying. But that was another huge arguments that we had about that. A massive argument. And I put my foot down. I didn’t give them any more money. Didn’t give them any more money whatsoever. They said, “I’ll get a new one when I get back. Don’t worry about it.” Eventually, she said, “Okay.”
And she’s just not really that normal with me, though, for a little bit of time. When we get back up to the village, there’s a brand new TV there, brand new table, everything exactly like it was when we left. Oh, Papa, buy new one. I knew immediately though, that that thing hadn’t broken in the first place. Immediately, it was exactly the same TV, exactly the same everything. It had my account on it, not the smartest tools in the shed. Basically, he was attempting to scam me out of money. The thing was, I believed that my wife was in on it, and that really threw a spanner in the works of what I believed I had with her. not something that I was going to throw everything away over. Nothing at all like that.
Arguments And More Money
But the fact that that was a complete fabrication, a complete lie to try and get money out of me. It really really stung. Didn’t have any savings now. I had an income and that was it. We were invested. We had a life and an income. Everything’s good there. That’s what I wanted. But all these things that are happening, it’s not what I wanted. And that was a shock.
A really huge stock. I didn’t want to fall out too much with my wife. And I said to her, “That’s not new. It’s the same one.” He said, “No, it’s a new one. It’s got my account on it. I kept telling her and I know that’s not a new one. He cannot do that.” She wouldn’t admit it, though. She wouldn’t admit it at all.
I remember just storming out and driving and going to have a couple of beers in the local restaurant, thinking this isn’t good. Hoping that she wasn’t in on it, but knowing she probably was. But it just didn’t feel right. Over the next couple of days with her though, I felt really awful about it. We only spent a few weeks there because they were living there and it was so difficult. and we go back to the condo and she is there in the condo together but it didn’t feel right. She decided she wanted to go back and spend some time with the family by herself and I said okay go for it. She went up on the bus long way up to Bangkok and then to Bura and I’m living and kind of contemplating things not believing anything is going badly wrong but a few teething problems in terms of retirement. A few little problems here and there but not to worry. She calls up about 2 weeks later saying can I go there?
It’s an emergency. We have a big problem. What’s happened now? There’s some flooding in the house. What do you mean flooding in the house? That’s impossible because it was raised on this land and it hadn’t even been raising. Hadn’t even been raining even a little bit. But no flooding, she said. She sent me a picture. So I go and drive up, took my time, and I get there and there was water all over the house.
I mean, what was left of water, but it wasn’t dirty water though, which was a shock. Nothing surrounded. It worked wrong. There was no water anywhere else. And I said, “What had happened? Water come quickly and now gone,” she said. I don’t know what she was trying to pull here or anything, but it was like the first thing she said when she told me before I even arrived up there that we need to fix it and it was 300,000 Bat to fix this problem. Turns out that now this is my theory. They needed some money for something and they came up with this idea. I believe that they just sprayed or she or someone had just sprayed water around the house and damaged a sofa bed, not beyond repair.
It wasn’t dirty water. It wasn’t flood water. It wasn’t filthy. and around the sides of the walls had wallpaper in one place that was a bit damaged. TV fine, everything fine there. And apparently she was saying the construction is not, you know, it’s too weak now or something because of this water, so we need to fix it. We have to get guys in to do that. I believe it was a ploy. I believe it was fake. I really do believe it was.
Leaving Thailand For Cambodia
It was all nonsense. And I said, “There’s no flooding anywhere else. What are you doing? What are you on? Is this on purpose?” She said, “No, what do you mean?” And I kept saying, “Is this on purpose? I know it is. And I’m starting to believe that it was a ploy to try and get more money. And it really is something because it was just so ridiculous.
Really insane. And I didn’t know what to think or do. Wasn’t going to give them any more money, though. So, I didn’t didn’t give them anything. And of course, I wasn’t going to. I didn’t even want to be there. Now, I feel so out of place and so uncomfortable believing that everyone’s just trying to get money out of me. My wife, I thought, was on my side. Turns out she’s not. She’s a different person in the village.
When she’s in Phuket with me, everything’s better and fine. It’s like now she’s got this house. She’s feeling more obligations to her family to give them even more even though they shouldn’t be living there and they are all these things are going on. I kind of had to make a thought and have some thoughts over the next couple of days that I was there. Maybe I just need to write this house off as a loss and need to go and live in Phuket and stay there and the family can have the house. We live in Bouet and that can be our life. That was what I thought about progressively over the next couple of days to the point where I just said to her, “This is what I want to do. I don’t want to live in this house anymore. Everything has gone wrong here. your family shouldn’t be here.
They’re trying to lie about this and they have problems about that and want money from this and that and money from something else and I don’t want to live here anymore and I don’t want to give them any more money. Your family can have it. We can go and live in Phuket. But she said, “No, I don’t want to. I want to live here. We can do both, but I’m not.” She was basically trying to get money out of me and then no, I just felt it was all wrong. She said she didn’t want to do that though. Then she didn’t want to need to leave because of course I was the bread winner. I was providing for things.
I was about to say, well, if you’re not going, I’m going. Then she looks a bit panicking, saying, I’m sorry, it was papa. Papa have accident. Papa drunk and tried to water flowers and water to go inside house. We think it’s expensive to fix. So basically, she admitted it. What a nonsense thing to say. It was all nonsense. And I kept saying nonsense because it’s awful. It’s like I don’t know what else I meant to say and I don’t know what he was doing or thinking.
Papa say 300,000 back to fix. I believe papa. At that split second, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Okay. Her father had this so-called accident. She hadn’t witnessed it. Her father told her it was going to cost this much and she believed everything. I believed her a little bit and I said, “Okay, you can come and visit then sometimes, but I want to live in Pokeette most of the time. Is that okay?” “Oh, no.
The Bar Threat Returns
I want to.” “Okay,” she said. Eventually, she knew I was serious. But it’s like she didn’t have much choice. Then I left. Well, she went with me. The following day, we went to Phuket. A couple of months go by. The problem is everything seems to be back on track, but probably less than a couple of months if I’m thinking about it. A month goes by, everything seems to be okay.
We’re not really talking about the house, but she said she needs to go up and see them again. So, she went up by herself. It was when she called me a week later with another problem that I’m driving back up there seeing something else that’s happened. This time there was a huge dent in the house because her father had crashed the pickup into it. We need to fix. No, that was it. That was when everything fell apart. Whether it was deliberate or not, I don’t know. They were prepared to live in the house damaged, but I don’t know what it was. They wanted 300,000 bad.
Why was it 300,000 bad, the same as last time, and I couldn’t get to the bottom of it. I never have. I’m not giving them money, though. Papa need money for fix. No money. We had a massive argument, then a huge argument in front of the family. And that was the first time we had a huge argument in front of the family. They looked shocked and she’s shocked and angry. I drove away straight down to Phuket. Got there and I think however many hours later it was cuz I didn’t even stop over for one time all the way to Phuket waiting to see what happens.
She arrives the next day. We need money to fix. No money to fix. Then she says something that I’ve heard this in another story all the time. Okay, I need to go back to a bar. I need to work. You shouldn’t have even worked in a bar. You didn’t even mean to do that. You’d lied to me. But I’m still giving her 10,000 B a month by the way.
Losing A Fortune In Thailand
Then it came out. What does she need this money for? Oh, papa have problem. Papa borrow money. Papa owe money 300,000. So you’re telling me he tried to damage the house on purpose and say it’s 300,000 to get it. Then he crashed into the house for something like that. That’s what it appeared to be. Although I never necessarily got to the bottom of this and it was on purpose or not, the pickup thing. I found out it was a gambling loan, 300,000.
Now it was 350 cuz it had gone up. She said, “Can you pay?” And I said, “No.” And she never looked at me the same again. Never spoke to me the same. Everything went wrong from there. What happened from there? I might as well just say we had to get a divorce. And stupidly, I chose not to fight. The condo could have probably got something out of it.
Maybe a million and a half I could have got back. But how difficult would it have been to get it? It was a huge disaster. Lost a lot of money and she was putting her family front and center and all those things to try to get that 300,000 out of me was complete lunacy. Something I wasn’t prepared to accept. Coming to terms with that after I got rid of the car because I didn’t need it anymore. No condo that I owned because it was hers. And she ended up with it. I got the visa money and got the car money probably about a million bat I had plus I had my income which was my savior. What I desired to do was to see if I could get my job back in Singapore because I wanted to and I missed doing it but I couldn’t which was something I should have known.
Final Warning About Thailand
I decided to do some traveling around the region and looking to other prospects and other places to live because I just didn’t want Thailand anymore. I felt like Thailand destroyed me and taken away what life should have been like. But I traveled around a bit. Would have loved to have lived in Singapore but it was too expensive. I went to all the countries that I’d wanted to go to, which I should have done instead of just fixating on Thailand, knowing that I didn’t really want to go back home. Didn’t want to be there because that was something. I mean, I hadn’t seen my children for a long time. I spoke to them from time to time when I could and we have since rekindled and it was okay. I chose to live in Cambodia because to be honest, that was the easiest visa. Everything was affordable.
Everything seemed quite similar to Thailand and it just seemed to be the next best thing. I moved there and I haven’t really looked back. Now I have a good retirement. I have a reasonable life. I have my income which thankfully has gone up slightly because of investments and that was gone up there. That’s one thing I hold on to. What I don’t have is a partner because of what went wrong in Thailand. But I suppose I’m better off without one. I do travel a lot and go to Singapore when I can and Malaysia and other countries when I can, but I’m based in Cambodia and life is what it is. I would say the biggest mistake I made was getting involved in Thailand in the way I did.
Believing when she said she didn’t work in a bar when she did, believing that she loved me when she loved her family. And believing doing what I was doing was a good idea. It wasn’t. That’s how I lost a fortune in Thailand. That’s how I lost all my money. That’s how I lost a big piece of who I was in Thailand. It was very difficult, a very difficult time. But it is what it is and it happened and life moves on. I’d just say be very careful. Be very careful in Thailand because if you’re not careful, the same thing could happen to you.
