Dating Apps in Thailand and Vietnam A Minefield of Scams

My first experience in Pattaya was in 2022

My first experience in Pattaya was in 2022 with a friend of mine who I work with. We agreed to scour this foreign land of Thailand to see what all the hype was about. Since we are true nomads and had already explored and conquered all of Cuba Brazil and the Dominican Republic to name a few needless to say I was not new to travel and had extensive experience with what goes on at night in many of these countries.

Upon our arrival to Thailand my friend caught the eye of some American woman they hooked up and he basically abandoned all of our initial plans to explore Pattaya (in brackets foolish him). So there I was in my hotel room by myself with two options either I wait until my friend was done with his bad decision or I figure out this town on my own.

Well needless to say I put on a pair of comfortable walking shoes and I hit the pavement harder than a 747 operated by Spirit Airlines. I walked with no idea of where I was going and just freely enjoyed all of what the area of Pattaya had to offer. I ventured out for about 3 hours going from street to street stopping at a few bars along the way just to quench my thirst because despite the fact that it was 1000 p.m. in Thailand it still felt hot as if it was 1200 noon.

Discovering Pattaya Walking Street at Night

On that night I discovered a few local spots but still wasn’t satisfied as I knew Thailand had much more to give than that. So I made my way to Walking Street after asking random English speaking pedestrians for directions. I walked up and down Walking Street but still didn’t see anything that met my standards. So I decided to start walking back to my hotel.

Just as I began walking down Beach Road there she was. A stunning beauty with long jet black hair about 5’4″ in height an hourglass shaped figure with loads of upfront entertainment if you know what I mean. We immediately caught each other’s eye and I gave her the nod indicating to come and walk with me. She wasted no time. I must admit I may be 50 years old but I enjoy dressing well and I’m a gym rat so usually I pass for someone in their mid 30s.

She told me that her name was Som and she was 24 years old. Som spoke very good English which was a plus for me on this first venture. Som was upfront and told me her price for short or long time to which I said “We will determine later.”

Getting Along With Som

Som and I appeared to get along well as we did not experience any awkward moments of silence or uncertainty. I was surprised that nothing about this young lady set off any alarm bells. I interview people daily for a living so over the course of time I have learned to read people very quickly.

We eventually made it back to my hotel and she immediately disrobed to get in the shower. The aerobic session with Som was beyond all of my expectations. At this point I realized that I had something that I wanted to enjoy a little further that night. Som also expressed that she did not want to go home and preferred to stay with me so we agreed to a reasonable price for her time.

The next morning I gave Som a little money for which she showed much appreciation and even began to cry tears of joy. I had done tons of research ahead of time and already knew the going rates in order to avoid getting taken advantage of so all was well with her financial agreement. It seemed like she was just happy that I wasn’t some nasty overweight guy that was trying to take advantage of her.

Som Offers to Help With the Laundry

Som said that she wanted to come back and was willing to take all of my dirty clothes to have them cleaned when she went home. I was shocked when she expressed this but this was a type of treatment and cooperative behavior that I was yearning for which our American counterparts refuse to even consider. Later that evening Som came back with all my dirty clothes (in brackets underwear and all) fully dry cleaned and she expressed that she was ready to stay with me for as long as I liked.

I was happy with this arrangement as I really just wanted a true girlfriend experience while here in Thailand. Som stayed with me for over a week and she escorted me around Pattaya. I forgot to mention that Som told me that she had a vehicle but I later realized that it was a 2021 Nissan like SUV which she would use to drive me all over Pattaya. I felt like my life could not get any better for me. I really enjoyed having Som as my personal tour guide as she was a true stunner and everyone just looked at us when we entered a restaurant or bar that she knew.

One afternoon Som told me that she had some place special that she knew I would really like and she took me for a slow drive through Soi 6. I was in awe as I could not believe what I was seeing and told her that we immediately had to bring my friend there because it was unlike anything I ever saw before. Needless to say when my doopy friend was released from his room because the dragon from the US was returning home he couldn’t believe all that he had missed. I was really annoyed at him and wondered how could he fly for 12 hours to Thailand in order to mess around with something he could have found up the street from his house in the US.

When the Meeting Goes Wrong

He constantly looked at Som and asked “How did you get so lucky to find this one?” I would just tell him that I walked for hours to find what I was looking for.

Som and I would eventually bring him to Soi 6 where he would bar fine a pretty young thing but she was nothing in comparison to my Som.

Anyway the week long vacation eventually came to an end and Som offered to drive me and my friend back to the airport in her car. The drive was a little rough due to the crazy driving patterns but she drove like a racing driver and got us there in no time. Som gave me a great experience and I will never forget it.

Keeping in Touch With Som

Som and I keep in touch every so often but I’m not going to sponsor anyone overseas so obviously that put a damper on any hopes of receiving income based off my hard work in the US. I am returning to Thailand for Songkran 2024 but I will not be looking to connect with Som even though I know any subsequent experience there will never compare to my first trip. I am not looking to fall in love as I have experienced many females trying to play the long game with me and I already know what that’s all about.

Such is life. I’m really looking forward to my next adventure nevertheless. I just wanted to share my experience so others can learn that they can enjoy themselves here in Pattaya even if they are alone. I also want the viewers to see that some of the girls there are not money hungry vultures. Some of them just want to be treated with a little decency and compensated for their time since they are poor and this is the hand that life has dealt them.

So he sounds like quite an intelligent guy and he had a good time obviously did his research before he went to Pattaya. But I wholeheartedly agree with what he says about treating girls with respect down there. Okay they work in the bars but there’s no kind of handouts here in Thailand like there is in the West. They can go and get a job in a factory but they pay peanuts. To give you an idea a waitress in a restaurant in Pattaya for instance she’ll earn anywhere between 9000 and 12000 baht a month that’s it.

Understanding Pattaya Bar Girl Rules

Now in somewhere like Pattaya they’re very very lucky because they can sorry about all the swallowing by the way it’s the cold she can probably double her salary in tips because it’s all foreigners and they’ll leave 100 baht whereas Thais don’t normally tip or if they do it’s just a few baht.

So just because girls work in bars as I say they don’t have a lot of choice they should still be treated with respect and be polite to them. I mean they will try and scam you of course they will they’re out to make money. They’ve all got families. But this guy took the right attitude treated them with respect and decency and he had a good time. Okay so good tip there for you all.

Story 2 The Characters of Pattaya Fantasists Liars and Bar Girl Rules

This is more my initial impressions of Pattaya years ago and its inhabitants than the usual crash and burn story. It must have been early in the 2000s the first time I visited Pattaya. At the time my friend from back home had been living there for a year after somehow wangling a job teaching business people in Laem Chabang how to speak English. This was a bit of a surprise as he was not exactly what I would have considered academically gifted and an even bigger surprise was that he had somehow become fluent in Thai conversation almost instantly. I guess he must have had a hidden gift for languages.

At the time he rented a condo in View Talay which had quite a few expat types as neighbors most of whom I got to know reasonably well over the next couple of years. It’s fair to say that these guys were all characters and I would also say that most of them were bigger fantasists liars and more delusional than your average bar girl.

First off there was Pavel. I think he was Czech mid 30s. Spent his mornings jogging his afternoons lifting weights. He made his cash by buying pharmaceutical products from Thailand and selling them back home. He thought because he was youngish and fit that he was more desirable to bar girls. The reality was they were attracted to him due to his lucrative supplement sideline.

Peter and the Stories He Told

And then there was Peter early 50s from London. He liked to pretend he had a secretive past hinting that he could never go back to the UK due to unspecified crimes. In truth he was a retired civil servant who had sold and inherited property and moved to a country where he could sit and drink beer all day without the stigma. The more he drank the taller the stories became.

Charles a middle aged French or Belgian guy who got up to some slightly bizarre activities involving suitcases of dressing up outfits and a steady stream of bar girls. Nobody was too sure what he got up to or what went on but speculation was rampant.

Then there was Tony about mid 30s posh Home Counties England accent. I think he was a retired RAF man. He too was a little too fond of an afternoon beer or two but was generally good company.

Justin Keeps His Past Private

Justin a Londoner mid 50s who never ever revealed anything personal and was adept at changing the subject whenever discussing the past. In the Land of Lies he was likely the one with a hidden past.

There was also a Dutch guy who spent a lot of time going to Cambodia and had tastes that were a little weird for most people’s likings so the less about him the better.

These guys along with my friend indoctrinated me into the ways of Pattaya the bro science as it were of the customs rules and etiquette of the beer bar world. I think it’s funny that almost a quarter of a century later these rules are still the same and pretty much the language the stories don’t change much either. Guys are having exactly the same experiences and dramas back there too.

Keeping Pattaya Relationships Businesslike

Being naturally cynical I knew even then that if you keep everything strictly business it’s all good fun. These were still the “sick water buffalo” days of Pattaya and I could not believe people fell for those sob stories. It might be slightly more sophisticated these days but it’s still the romance scam capital of the world.

Anyway being in my mid 20s at that point in my life I was more interested in drinking partying and pursuing backpacker girls than the beer bar scene but I did occasionally dabble. I think Soi 2 or Soi 3 were the places to go in those days but I gather that’s all taken down now.

I don’t really have any bad bar girl stories but I do remember they were often quite hard to get rid of the next day and would even seek me out when they found out I was in town again. In the days before smartphones the bar girl telegraph system was highly efficient.

Returning to Thailand Over the Years

I still go to Thailand every few years. I never did fall in love with a bar girl but I did fall head over heels in love with the country. Nowadays it’s about staying off the booze extreme fitness and adventure activities and I haven’t been to a beer bar in almost 20 years.

Yeah that’s funny. Pattaya is a strange town and you always get some strange characters there. I made a couple of videos a couple of years ago I can’t even remember what they’re called now something like “20 Lies Foreigners Tell Other Foreigners in Pattaya.” You can go and look for them on the channel. But you’ll get these guys you’ll go into a bar and you’ll get talking to them and they’ll come out with stories that are so far fetched. I remember sitting in a bar and a guy coming up to me and telling me he’d been in the SAS and was special forces he could still get recalled back to the UK in an emergency and he was there in flip flops a dirty old pair of shorts and a vest with a single beer logo on the front of it.

A lot of the time these guys are just hanging around trying they live there residents. Not everybody obviously there’s a few but they’re hanging around bars and they tell these stories and other guys will feel sorry for them and buy them a beer. They’ve retired too early or they don’t have enough money.

Story 3 From Israel to Thailand A Widowers Journey of Giving Back

My story will probably be a little different from others you have received. It’s both about relationships in the wider picture. My views may be different because of my stepping off point also from a multicultural background. I’m an expat Brit a Jew Israeli having lived here in Israel for 50 years since the age of 24. I’m a longtime widower kids grown up retired from various jobs and careers ranging from being a farmer and business English teacher to marlin writer and quality assurance manager in high tech. Still fit as I’m a gym junkie pumping iron trying hard to eat the right food not smoking and not drinking alcohol.

I had never ever considered visiting Thailand until 9 years ago as I was already busy with work and single handedly raising young children. A good friend of mine who we will call Jane and who is my sole sister tried many times unsuccessfully to convince me to join her on her many trips to Thailand as she was working in human resources bringing over male Thai workers (mainly from Isan) to work in agriculture here in Israel. But I was always very busy and refused many times.

Accepting a New Invitation to Thailand

Until 9 years ago she made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. She had accrued air miles and offered me a free ticket to join her on her next trip. At the age of 64 fit healthy and virile I flew with Jane to Bangkok. We landed at Bangkok International Airport where she introduced me to pad thai at the food court in the airport. We then boarded another aircraft to fly north for 1 hour to Chiang Mai.

That beautiful garden city was our main destination as we had a joint expat Brit friend who owned a 16th floor condo on the banks of the River Ping overlooking the US Consulate and with a view over the whole city. We flew to Chiang Mai and were met at the airport by another of Jane’s friends a local Thai businessman in his 40s named Charasrit called Rit in short. He took us across town to the friend’s condo which had been vacated free of charge for our stay. We flopped down on our beds in separate rooms after long flights via Amman Dubai and Bangkok airports.

Having recuperated with a 2 hour nap Jane then introduced me to the delights of Chiang Mai. And here’s my point having stayed in Chiang Mai many times Jane knew the city and the rest of the country like the back of her hand. We are the same age and both young at heart adventurous and fit. Additionally Rit and his family were Jane’s and the condo owner’s good friends their home hospitality was amazing. Even though I’m an early riser when traveling alone it is completely a different ball game when you can go to a foreign country for the first time where local people or others who know the terrain show you around.

Sharing Short Experiences From Thailand

So here are some short experiences that I would like to share with you.

Firstly as a longtime single widower let’s get the obvious out of the way until I arrived in Thailand it had been a long season without rain in fact many years. Need I say more?

My first massage was a 2 hour traditional Thai massage. The beautiful 42 year old massager spoke about three words of English. Nonetheless I invited her out for a meal. Her name was Noi so I saved her phone number as “Toy’s Are Us.” I asked her to choose the menu. I mimed fish for seafood and gestured the movement of a crab or lobster. When it arrived I saw this red monster with massive outstretched claws seemingly moving towards me. Noi enjoyed her meal. She invited me to another session of massage at another massage parlor where she worked it was half the price that I had paid in the first one. In total I had three traditional Thai massages with her with no soapy fun just massages.

Trying Different Massage Experiences

I then progressed to full body oily massages at other establishments with other female massagers. I think you know what I mean.

My sister Jane and I spent 10 days in Chiang Mai covering temples markets elephant safari massages shopping good food and a lot more. I loved every moment with the people I met across the board. Prices then (and still now) of food lodging and entertainment are about half of what I would pay in Israel.

Jane then told me “You must see Pattaya.” We spent 4 days there. We agreed on a good hotel the Pullman in northern Pattaya where they have a reasonable gym. On my last night in Pattaya I met a wonderful lady called Yip which led on to two more flights to visit her.

Meeting Yip in Chiang Mai

Here’s one story regarding Yip. My second trip back to the Chiang Mai condo a few months later was with Jane so I invited Yip to join her. She came by bus to Bangkok from her home village near Khon Kaen in Isan. In total she had traveled about 16 hours by bus. I introduced her to Jane and the three of us got along very well indeed.

From Chiang Mai the three of us toured the country. We were in Kanchanaburi which relies on the story of The Bridge on the River Kwai for tourism. That iron bridge isn’t the original one it was built in 1957 after the success of the movie. The majority of the tourist buses were packed with Japanese tourists. However I think what got more attention on all of the tours in places like the ancient capital of Ayutthaya Pattaya and Bangkok was the three of us. It was the sight of an older man and woman accompanied by a tall extremely attractive Thai beauty. As we entered the dining room of each hotel throughout the country many heads turned and whispers were almost audible. I always smiled back at the other tourists with a Cheshire cat grin.

After the first two trips with Jane I flew back a few months later to visit Yip by myself. I walked across a concrete apron from the airport to the terminal and saw Yip looking as gorgeous as ever. We hugged and kissed and her first words were “Where’s Jane?

Spending Two Years With Yip in Isan

I spent 2 years with Yip in Isan. I was booked into the Pullman Hotel in Khon Kaen again because of the gym. That’s where I met two expat Brits. The first was a guy in his mid 50s whom I got talking to in a bookstore while with Yip. He was a retired Londoner. We started to swap stories. His name was Bill.

Bill told me he had stayed initially as a tourist in Bangkok. He had been in a baht bus sitting shoulder to shoulder with an attractive Thai lady. They struck up a conversation. One thing led to another and he invited her back to his hotel room. When Bill told me this he added that when he started to chat with her in the bus he had had no ulterior motive. Well that’s his story anyway. In his hotel room they fooled around. She asked him if she could have drinks from the minibar. He agreed. They raised their glasses and toasted each other. 2 hours later he woke up on the floor alone. She had slipped something into his drink. His wallet cash and credit cards had all gone. But amazingly his genuine Rolex wristwatch was still on his wrist.

That lady had mistakenly assumed that it was one of the millions of fakes sold every day to tourists on the streets and in the markets all over Thailand.

Meeting Arthur at the Hotel Gym

The second expat Brit called Arthur came every day to the Pullman Hotel to use the gym and that’s where I met him. He was living permanently in Khon Kaen with his Thai girlfriend. He told me that he had retired to Thailand to live out the good life removed from the rat race in the UK. He had been successful in his career and had taken early retirement in his 50s. He owned his own home in Khon Kaen played golf twice a week on the local course and his youngish Thai wife faithfully looked after him after boosting her lifestyle from driving the rice machine and back breaking work in the rice fields of her village. He had initially met her in a bar she was a bar girl in Pattaya.

So it shows you that once in a blue moon you can take the girl out of the bar and maybe you can remove the bar from the girl? Fat chance.

Anyway one of Arthur’s stories to me goes like this by the way I had already known about it from an article on the internet previously when I had done my pre trip homework but I let him tell it because he had first hand knowledge and he enjoyed telling the story.

A Retired Man Finds Love in Khon Kaen

A retired guy in his 70s from Manchester UK had found his perfect girl in Khon Kaen. Within a short space of time he had fallen head over heels in love with a mid 30s year old beauty. He reveled in her charms cooking everything else that comes with a stunning looking Thai girl. Arthur was completely under her spell and she knew it. Arthur married her built a new family home for himself his wife and her kids and opened joint bank accounts. Due to the age gap of 30 or 40 years she played on his emotions and had convinced him to either change his will or had started a life insurance policy with her as the sole or main beneficiary I can’t remember which the case was.

You can now guess where this is going right?

Thailand can both be Heaven and Hell. It depends on who you are what you are looking for and the people you meet. But it is a developing country that is highly money motivated where the majority of people work hard for very little money. There is also much poverty and corruption. The police can take extreme measures. It’s not really a good idea to upset the police in Thailand unless you are very rich.

Arthur and His Thai Wife Face a Tragedy

Back to Arthur and his wife. A few weeks after all his money and assets were documented as being left to his wife he was found dead in the street and no witnesses could be located as to what had happened.

The last of many experiences that I want to tell you is completely different. It concerns Rit my friend the local Chiang Mai businessman. This was a unique experience that only locals can treat a foreign visitor to. It displays the amazing character of the Thai people. Over the last nine years Rit has made a few visits to Jane and I and other expat Brits and Israelis we have a strong relationship with him and his family. We were fortunate enough to be able to pay back his generosity and hospitality.

Rit and His Former Classmates

My unique experience with Rit was this. He is in his mid 40s and maintains strong contact with his ex classmates from high school. As a class of about 30 they had adopted a small hill tribe a very poor village in the extreme north of the country. This tribe lives high up on the sides of Thailand’s highest mountain which is in Chiang Mai Province but a long way from the city. Their village is located at about 1300 meters above sea level.

Twice a year Rit’s class get together raise money and donate their own money to make a fund day for the whole village. On one of my trips Rit invited me to join them. We set out one early morning from Chiang Mai City in a convoy of six cars and drove for almost 2 hours. Near the base of the mountain we parked the cars and exchanged them for rented jeeps and SUVs. We drove up steep winding tracks that only four wheel drive vehicles could cope with near cloud level.

We arrived at the site. There were a handful of primitive buildings consisting of corrugated iron roofs and one central open construction supported by wooden pillars this was their equivalent of a community village hall. All the tribe was there to greet us turned out smartly and in traditional Thai dress. We stopped the jeeps and unloaded many large plastic bags of secondhand clothes crates of soft drinks coolers with ice cream chocolate all different types of food and canned goods and a loudspeaker and a laptop with a microphone.

We then set up our facility under the corrugated roof of the open village hall. While Thai music was playing all the tribal ladies some of them holding babies in their arms stood and formed lines in front of three folding tables that we had set up. One by one these young and old women teenage mothers among them quietly came to the table where I and two of Rit’s female classmates had laid out the secondhand clothes for them to choose as they wanted for themselves and their families. We stretched out jackets skirts and tops so that the villagers could measure themselves against each article of clothing.

The Privilege of Helping Others

It was such a wonderful feeling to be able to help these poor people. A good friend of mine has always said that it is better to give than to receive. I felt so privileged to be part of Rit’s group. I literally had tears in my eyes.

Following the clothes distribution all the food and goodies were given out. Then I and one of Rit’s female classmates stood in front of little children on the slightly raised balcony. To the tune of Western pop music we demonstrated dance movements for the kids to copy dancing in front of them and together with them. We danced along and saw the joy in their eyes.

It was an awesome fun day for the whole village for Rit and his friends and for me it was a once in a lifetime extremely moving experience. That night we all slept on the floor.

A Final Reflection on Giving

Last but not least I can add that Rit’s mom was born and raised in the Philippines. She was a widow about 10 years older than me and a self made highly successful businesswoman. Rit had cousins in Cebu City and elsewhere.

Following my Thai adventures via a dating site I planned my first visit to the Philippines. I had made contact with a nice lady so I went to the Philippines and I’m still alive today. At 75 I have made seven trips over the last 8 years to the Philippines. But that’s a whole different story.

Story 4 The Tequila Warning A Passed Out Girl and a Morning Flight

I’ve recently been listening to some of your viewer stories and see this as a good service to both newbies and as fun listening for those with more experience. I want to share a story I hope people can learn from.

I have been located in Asia since the early ’90s and made my first trip to Thailand in 1991. It wasn’t until the year 2000 that I took a girl out of a bar. It started off fairly tame but became a slippery slope. By 2010 I was going two or three times a year for a week to 10 days to Thailand. During my stays I would take different go gos out of bars most nights. I rarely took the same go go twice as I was not really interested in a short term girlfriend experience while on holiday.

The Canadian Traveler Explains

I should mention that I am a Canadian and was a young looking guy in those days for being in my mid 50s. Anyway I learned a lot through trial and error about how to increase one’s chances of having a good experience with a girl. I learned to not go to the bar too late not to drink too much and to vet the girl before taking her out of the bar. By “vet” I mean buy her a drink check out her English and more importantly check out whether there was some chemistry between you some attraction and potential for being a fun girl.

I have been with some of the most beautiful women in the world at any one point in time. After meeting a girl I would often delay going to the hotel so we could play a bit of pool or have a bite somewhere and have a drink to get relaxed.

The above is a background for my next story. The story I want to tell you is about a particular girl and what I learned from it.

The Last Night Before an Early Flight

This was 2013 or so and it was my last night in Bangkok with a flight at 900 a.m. the next day so I would need to wake up at 500 a.m. so it shouldn’t be a late one. So I went to Nana Plaza visiting Rainbow 1 and it was fairly early. I met a beautiful girl that I quite liked. We left and she wanted to visit another bar before heading to my hotel. I said okay and we went to Rainbow 4. She wanted a tequila shot and I said okay. And then she had another maybe one more. I was wondering if this was a good idea but decided to trust that she knew how much alcohol was good for her.

She hadn’t seemed drunk when we left Rainbow 1 but she was pretty wobbly now. We took a taxi to my hotel and we were rolling around a bit as she had been dancing. She asked me if she could use the shower and I said yes no problem. She suddenly slips and hits the back of her head on the tub and starts moaning and there is some blood oozing out of her head. I get her into the room apply pressure to her head and suddenly she’s out like a light. I shake her a bit and she won’t wake up.

A Difficult Decision Before the Airport

I sat back and thought about the situation. I could have a passed out girl in my room. I could have a dead girl on my hands. And I have to head to the airport in a few hours. Not good. What to do right?

She was breathing slightly and so I just waited it out. To make a long story short she woke up and was a bit grumpy about her head but was very professional about it all if you catch my drift. Boy was I glad to see her walk out that door.

Moral of the story? Yeah a bit of alcohol can help them loosen up and enjoy the experience. But when you don’t know how much they have had to drink before you meet them or know how well they know their own tolerance for alcohol best to err on the side of caution. I won’t make these mistakes again but maybe some new ones I suppose.