Fighting My Way Out of a Chinese Scam Twice

As of 2023 I’ve lived in Asia for just over 20 years. I’m 44 years old now so was 34 at the time. I had lived in Shanghai working for a manufacturer firm for about 3 years. I knew the ins and outs of life there for the most part after having a great team of locals here that showed me the ropes. I’ve even had my production manager complain that I got better deals in the black markets than he did even though the vendors probably knew I had more money than him.

At the time I had just finished a boxing match with many weeks of training prior and was in tiptop shape. As I had lived there some of my team members showed me the ropes in the bars and massage parlors. Do not do what I did in the below story just take heed about the risks.

So I was on leave between firms and decided to go back to China for a long trip to visit some remote areas that I didn’t have the time to go to while living there. This particular night I did not meet up with any co-workers and was wandering alone through a popular shopping area. An older lady came up to me. I usually swish them away or just ignore them but she was persistent. And then she said the line that caught my attention “Would you like some cheaper aerobics?”

I stopped. “How ugly are your girls?” I inquired. “No, not ugly at all. Beautiful,” she said. So I figured I’ve got nothing to lose. Let’s just go and take a look which is the only way to get out of this situation with this lady again. I knew this already.

She leads me down a side street only a few buildings in from the main strip and up a spiral staircase to a small thin hallway from the reception desk of a small hotel which was lined on both sides of the hall with rooms. I am shown into the first room which is actually very good looking back. The room has a long sofa along the right side of the room with a low glass table in the middle of the room and a small TV on a set of drawers nothing too fancy.

Then the mamasan comes in with a few girls. They’re quite old average age was about mid-40s or so. They explain the menu and I say no to the aerobics session a simple massage to start off with will suffice. Then I had to pick a girl. Not much to pick from to be honest not like being in Thailand Laos or Vietnam by any means. I figured I would go with the biggest girl in the lineup not good looking but I figured she would give me the best massage. She seemed a bit hesitant but agreed.

Following a Tout into a Shanghai Hotel

While things are getting prepared I am chatting to the mamasan. “Where are you from?” she asks. “New York” I reply. Traveling? Yes. Hotel? No I lie. I just saw the sign a little ways before the tout got me.

Then the big lady comes in and has me take off my clothes and lie face down with me only wearing a towel. The massage is good surprisingly the lady has very strong hands but a somewhat low speaking voice. After the massage time they ask me if I want more. The girl is a bit nervous and asks me to wait a moment. She opens the door and says something and one of the older girls comes in to replace the big one with no explanation.

I’m told to flip over and the old girl starts on me and goes a full course. This is not what I ordered. She helps me get dressed and goes to leave. At that moment three guys come walking in with a mammoth hand two big guys and one skinny one. He must be the bagman I figure out. The mamasan says I have to pay an additional huge fee for the room and service charge and another fee for the room charge. I disagree as I did not order any changes.

We go back and forth and the mamasan leaves to talk with the two enforcers. The biggest of the two sits next to me he actually spoke the best English of all I met to be honest. I could see myself having a great night out drinking as he seemed like a genuinely nice guy considering his job. The other big guy stands in front of the door.

We are going back and forth and I say I might have some more money in my bag but I cannot find it as I have so many pockets in the bag. He says they can take credit cards to which I respond that I don’t have any on me and why would I carry them to come to a place like his shop? To which he actually agreed with and laughed.

I’m really dragging this out and I’m making small talk while also trying to keep calm. After about 10 minutes the big guy is now getting impatient but he is not on edge. In that instant I shot sideways across the sofa and I put my elbow into the big guy’s head which contacted the wall and left an indent. The next second again having just recently had a boxing match two steps back one large side step to clear the table and advance towards the second big guy. He panicked which allowed me to punch him. He doubles over and I step back and give him an uppercut. He drops down which means I have to back up.

The Hidden Charge Turns Into a Fight

I then go full speed at the third guy who is scrambling to open the door lock but he is not in time. I managed to ram him into the door it comes off its frame and falls into the hallway. I do not stop and take off down the stairs. I think there was a guy on the outside of the door that got hit by the door between the door and the reception desk cheap door. As I’m bounding down the stairs I got a small scratch on my arm from the door frame screws but that’s it.

After getting to the road I saw the old lady. She asked “How was it?” and I said “Great” before jogging off down the streets to make sure I’m not followed.

A second time I was in Shanghai on business. I was called to a shop that a player’s lead had found turns out he met a tout which only told me about after I arrived. After arriving and I realized what was going on I tried to get him to leave even going as far as the front door of the establishment. He begged me to stay and that he would pay. I told him that I was sure he would pay a lot but he ignored my warnings. So okay fine.

I was taken into another room with a girl he picked for me and you know the deal. When done I was brought back to my friend. Same story as above some guys came in. My acquaintance decided he did not agree with the hidden charge and I got into a disagreement. I told him to chill and told the muscle to stand down as I would not take kindly to physical threats and we should just talk it out. That failed.

So short story my acquaintance was shoved down whereby I put that guy into the wall. The second muscle grabbed me so I put him into the other wall. Then the first guy tried punching me in the back. As I was again in boxing training his punches were so weak that I laughed and handed the second guy to my friend who just sat on him to stop him from going back to me. I then focused my attention on the first guy. We tussled a bit and I ended up putting him through a glass door.

I then tried to help my acquaintance escape but we were on the second floor down a long narrow hall. So two more guys came up I couldn’t get through another two. So I agreed to go back to the room. The mamasan came in and lost her cool on seeing the carnage in the room. The big boss was called and we negotiated it all down to just 3K from 5K in local currency. I also got him to agree that the door was not chargeable to us as the fat muscle guy was the one that went through it and so he should pay for it.

Escaping Through the Hotel Door

As you have mentioned in one of your other uploads you do not wear nice watches or jewelry which I had to tell my acquaintance in an unobvious way to hide his watch. Maybe it was a Rolex or something like that. He went with the boss to an ATM to get the additional funds while I waited. I was sitting with one of the last two guys that came into the room and we compared scars and injuries another guy I could see having a fun night of drinks with until I realized my left butt cheek was really itchy. When I scratched it I saw there was blood. I had actually cut myself on a shard from the door but had not felt it at the time. So the big chap got me some tissues.

When it was all said and done the big boss and I had a quick laugh about it all and we were on our way. Back at the hotel now about 200 a.m. I asked my acquaintance to get bandages and alcohol from a shop. He was then tasked with cleaning and bandaging my backside so that I could fly home the next day.

Once home I took the train from the airport dropped my things off and went straight to the hospital and got stitched up. I told my ex-wife I slipped in the shower and got cut by glass that fell on the floor when I saw her next and was walking a bit funny. I still have that pair of pants today with a puncture hole through the left back pocket as to remember the adventure.

The Cost of a Narrow Escape

My acquaintance agreed with me that he should have left when I told him to. I admit if he had not offered to pay (I was his guest) I would have left alone. So again do not do what I did. Looking back especially the first time it was at one moment where I saw their guard was down and I took my chance. If I had failed I would probably have been found on the side of the road battered and bruised at best.

If you will go to seedy places or agree to follow a tout do not bring any cards. Do not bring them to your hotel. But if you do tell the hotel staff to call the police and have them handle it then change hotels as soon as you can. You can get pushed into a back room given tea and then have to pay some silly service charges even if you do not buy their rip-off goods. So be warned China is way worse than say Thailand for scams and being cheap.

I have a good laugh about these and other adventures with my friends. After reading back through my story I realize there will be some comments from guys thinking I’ve made everything up but it’s such a bizarre couple of stories that it is actually true. However I can guarantee you that these incidents actually happened. Having the opportunity to be in the same situations again I would definitely act in a different way.

Story #2 The Married Man The Pregnant Scare and The Other Boyfriend

I’m in my early 40s and have had a short relationship with my Thai woman here in my home country quite a few times over the years going on dates like visiting restaurants and watching films at the cinema but mainly meeting for physical liaisons which were convenient to us both. Three of the women were married to older men and one was recently divorced.

We discussed Thailand and its culture many times and I was intrigued. I thoroughly enjoyed the food that they either cooked for me themselves or ordered for me in Thai restaurants. These brief relationships came to nothing. But when I had a trip to East Asia in 2019 I decided that I would visit Thailand as part of my trip on the way home.

I thought that it might be nice to get to know a few Thai women before I arrived in the country and so I downloaded the Thai Friendly phone app a good few months before my trip and got chatting to girls. I was talking with quite a few women on this app. With some of them we switched our conversations to the Line app more or less the Asian version of WhatsApp and continued to communicate on there.

There was one woman I got on really well with. Her name is P and after a few months of chatting we agreed to meet in her hometown. P is very beautiful. She works out regularly and doesn’t touch alcohol. She was working in the office of a local seafood wholesaler and had previously worked in another commercial business. We had video calls when she was at work and I saw photos of her in her old workplace amongst colleagues. No tattoos at all just to be clear.

She told me she was recently divorced and asked me on many occasions whether I was serious or if I just wanted a holiday girlfriend. I told her that I was serious. I asked if she had foreign boyfriends before and she said no she’d never had foreign boyfriends before. She told me on a number of occasions that she didn’t like it if I was also talking with other Thai women.

Over the next couple of months we continued chatting online and made multiple video calls to one another. Eventually we met in her home city of Samut Sakhon. When we first met she was initially rather distant which I thought was rather odd because she’d been so warm and friendly before. I put it down to nervousness. She was just as beautiful in the flesh as in the photographs she’d sent and the video calls we’d had perfect skin fit beautiful eyes long black hair charming smile and very clean.

Meeting P in Samut Sakhon

She wanted to show me some sights so the next day we took a trip to see some parts of the local region and sites. We got on really well. After a long day of sightseeing we got back to the hotel where we each retired to our own rooms. The following morning we had a great time exploring the area and we were leaving the hotel to begin our trip back to her home city. She took hold of me leaned up and kissed me tenderly on the lips. I embraced her and we continued to kiss.

We traveled back to Samut Sakhon and when she dropped me off at my hotel that evening she parked her scooter and came inside. We indulged in some great aerobics that night and again in the morning without protection (yes I know brain dead even when caught up in the moment). When I left later that day to see other places in Thailand it was with a sad heart because I would have wanted to stay with P.

She arranged to have the morning off work and traveled with me to Bangkok eventually seeing me off on my train north which departed from Hua Lamphong station. I proceeded to travel around Thailand and we kept in almost constant touch. I returned to Samut Sakhon a week or so later and we continued as we had left off.

I had a great time with P and was becoming very attracted to her. She was charming and fun and we enjoyed each other’s company greatly. It was now that she decided to tell me that after we had our last aerobics she had visited the pharmacy to get a post aerobic pill. She nervously asked me what would I do if she was pregnant and I told her honestly that in the unlikely event that she is pregnant she would not be left alone that any baby would be my responsibility. I didn’t say what was on my mind of course that there would have to be a DNA test.

We spent the following nights together in my hotel except for one night when we stayed at her apartment because late one night it became clear that the hotel had a mix up and didn’t have a free room for us. After staying in Samut Sakhon for a few days and spending practically all of our free time together I left again to do some more touring of the country.

Before I left we had a further conversation about any possibility of pregnancy and it became clear that she was very anxious about her own situation not being satisfied with my previous responses and wanting me to commit more. She asked me if I’d seen any other woman on my trip and I said no this was true as a matter of fact I hadn’t. She asked me why I was unreachable for a few hours one particular evening and after she explained exactly when I was able to give her the genuine explanation of why I was not contactable which was true.

The Pregnancy Scare Reaches Bangkok

One evening I was expecting P to arrive in Bangkok as we had planned beforehand to spend the weekend together in the city. We had planned that she would finish work and travel to Bangkok but she texted me with news that she had twisted her ankle in her office and wouldn’t be able to make it on the train. I thought this explanation was rather suspicious and I offered to pay for a taxi but she said that this would not be possible. I didn’t know quite what to make of this but of course I understand that she was lying for some reason or other.

My last day in Thailand we met in Bangkok and had long discussions about her future. I said that I would keep in touch and that I would not abandon her. She eventually said that this was not particularly reassuring to her and that she would have wanted me to commit more. I said that I would come back and visit her and that she should take the pregnancy test and we will talk more after that. She said that’s not good enough and that I was only interested in her if and when she’s pregnant. She wanted more concrete plans and assurances for the future assurances I couldn’t give her.

I flew back to my home country and stayed in touch with P via Line messages and video calls. Of course I was very nervous about the possible pregnancy and this had a severe effect on my life as you can imagine. I was anxious and the people around me noticed that I was apprehensive about something. I had made many inquiries regarding the possible pregnancy such as how to get a paternity test done in Thailand and it was not straightforward to say the least. I would have to fly to Thailand and pay a lot of money to get this done plus I would have to convince P to consent to the test.

Also I inquired about citizenship issues should the child be mine and how to get the child and its mother to my home country. It was really complicated and the time scale was worrying the child wouldn’t get here before it was a minimum of a few months old and that would mean private Thai healthcare until that time.

P wanted to talk more and more and began to call without first arranging it. One evening I didn’t answer and she demanded strongly that we do a video call. We made the call but I cut it short due to circumstances beyond my control. Straight after this she accused me of hiding something from her. And it was then that I was finally forced to confess to her that yes I was lying to her. I told her frankly that I was married and lived together in the same house with my wife and three children. I attempted to apologize but it’s not much use when you’ve done something like that.

Of course P was distraught and absolutely furious with me. She accused me of ruining her life and said that she was angry with herself for being such a fool and believing in my lies. We had many stressful phone calls that next few days as we came to terms with the situation and tried to determine what to do in the future. She threatened more than once to cut me off completely and I told her that were she to do this I would have to travel to Thailand and seek her out because there is no way on Earth I would leave a child of mine cut off from his father. I told her that if she was pregnant with my child I would get divorced and marry her so that she and the child could move to Europe and live with me. I meant this.

A Negative Pregnancy Test

She said that I had put her in a terrible position because she did not want to have a family breakup on her conscience and suffer the negative karma that would result from it. She takes Buddhism quite seriously.

I can honestly say that this time was the most stressful of my life. I could hardly function at work or at home because the stress and worry was so great. To cut a long story short eventually P took the pregnancy test during a video call and it was negative. I was partly relieved because I was half expecting her to say that it was positive and that would have meant my life changing completely and a whole lot of bother at the very least. I would have had to convince her to take a paternity test to prove to me 100% that she is indeed pregnant and that I would be the father.

Part of me was upset with the negative test result because I had to some degree got myself accustomed to the idea that I was going to be a father again and that we would all live together as a family. P herself seemed relieved by the negative result. We continued to chat and develop plans for me to visit P in the coming months.

I had already done some internet checks on P but had to my relief come up with nothing. But I decided to give it another go. Well this time I got different results. I was completely taken aback when I discovered that she had a closed TikTok account which featured another man who is also European which proved that she’d lied to me in the past about never having a foreign boyfriend before.

I asked her about this and she told me that he was an ex boyfriend and that she didn’t want to talk about it demanding rather than pleading that I was just to trust her. Well I wasn’t satisfied with this and did some further checks including some rather advanced reverse image searching to find out the identity of that guy on her TikTok account.

I found the man in question and then located his social media accounts where he happened to be quite active. It turns out that this man was in a relationship with P for about 3 years and had visited her in Thailand often. He had videos and pictures of her on his various social media accounts. They often made video calls and I suppose that’s why P’s behavior was often peculiar around me and why she invented that swollen ankle story to avoid coming to Bangkok one evening. I guess she was at home expecting a video call.

Finding the Other Boyfriend

During a subsequent video call with P I confronted her with the new information that I had gathered and at first she denied it. When I confronted her with the wealth of evidence that I had she was forced to admit the deception. She asked what I was going to do with the information. I told her that I hadn’t thought about it. We ended the call and about an hour or so later she texted me with a message stating she had told her boyfriend about us and that he’d forgiven her. I replied telling her that I didn’t believe a word of it that she hadn’t told him anything and that if we were in a position I too wouldn’t say anything to him.

After some painful soul searching I followed up perhaps an hour later with a message telling P that she should not worry I would not tell the man anything. We had a long conversation and discussed more openly than ever before about our respective situations. It was quite satisfying finally having a fully honest conversation with one another. Maybe hopefully P and this guy will live happily ever after.

All that I described happened four years ago and I know that she’s now moved to Europe to marry and live with a man she was involved with. Good luck to them. P is a great woman and I’m glad I met her. I just wish it would have been in more honest circumstances. I wish her well in life.

When I was in a distressed state after all this news I went on that popular Thai Visa forum and asked in one of the discussion sections what others thought I should do in my situation whether or not I should tell the other man about what his girlfriend has been up to. Interestingly the responses I got were fairly evenly divided between “tell” and “don’t tell” with some very strong opinions being expressed in favor of both opinions. Some people thought I’d made up the story which of course I hadn’t.

I feel sorry for the guy that she cheated on but life is complex. It would be especially hypocritical if I was to be moral given my own behavior. I’m not proud of my behavior. I’m writing this because I think life should sometimes be discussed openly with all its complexities on display warts and all. I also thought it would be nice for Thailand Bound to have a tale where a foreigner has behaved badly to give it some balance. I’d imagine my story is not at all uncommon. It’s not just Thai women who lie.

On reflection it gave me some comfort to know that she was lying to me the whole time too and to realize that I hadn’t behaved badly with a totally innocent woman. I would not repeat the experience. Whilst the time in Thailand was wonderful the aftermath was a horrendous stressful time an emotional rollercoaster where you’re strapped into the seat unable to control the direction or pace. Karma perhaps.