Thailand Ruined My Retirement Dream: Pattaya Reality Check

A Difficult Year and a New Dream

2019 was a difficult year for everyone. I got divorced at the start of the year and then COVID hit and the world started to lock down. I found myself at home all alone with nothing to do. I’d never even watched YouTube before. But when you’re bored and furloughed from work with nothing else to do, YouTube became my life.

I was recommended all kinds of content, most of it drivel that I wasn’t interested in. But I started getting recommended content about Thailand. There were guys there making content during COVID when nobody else could go in, and they were building big followings talking about living in Thailand. I became an avid follower of some of the channels.

To this day I still watch them, and it was through their videos that the first thought of moving to Thailand in retirement came to me. I’d never been to Thailand before. I never even thought about it. But the way they described everything that Thailand was about made me feel like it could be the perfect place for me, just what I was looking for.

There seemed to be lots of different sides to Thailand, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And everything that I saw these YouTubers showing made me decide that Thailand was where I was going to retire one day.

Saving Every Penny

I was 55 when I got divorced. We waited until our children were grown up and the divorce was amicable. And what I was left with meant that if I continued doing what I was doing, I should be able to retire in 5 years.

I developed a habit. I didn’t go out. I didn’t do anything. I went to work, went home, and watched all about Thailand on YouTube. I bought the cheapest food, never put the heating on at home when it was winter, just to save as much money as I could, so I could finally get to the dream of retiring.

The YouTubers I was watching were still in Thailand and talking about how much they loved the country and how they never wanted to go anywhere else. The ones who were negative about Thailand seemed to be those who had been there for a long time. But their overarching perspective was that Thailand was still better than where they came from.

A few years tracked on and I’m fully working towards the ultimate goal of retirement to Thailand. Then comes 2024. I was very close to my goal. So I thought it was about time to actually visit Thailand just to confirm everything I thought I already knew.

Building a Picture in My Mind

I was gravitating towards Pattaya because how it was described by YouTubers, the ones I watched, was that it was a paradise for foreign single men. There is that sort of girl known as a bar girl, and then there are normal regular girls. I knew that one was for fun and one was for more serious relationships, and I was excited to go for my first time to see the debauchery firsthand.

Let me stress that I had built a picture in my mind of what Thailand was going to be like. I’d been watching about it for years. I thought I already knew Thailand, and I thought that what I was going to find would match, if not exceed, my expectations. After all, the videos I saw posted by many people on different channels all seemed to show Thailand to be how I expected it to be.

And that’s where my first problem came up.

The Danger of YouTube Expectations

You can watch a video and someone can be showing you a certain part of Thailand, certain activities that can happen in Thailand, and they can share their lived experiences. But the problem is it’s coming from their perspective and their tolerance level of what they perceive to be accurate.

Just because they’re saying it one way doesn’t mean that you’re going to find it in the same way as they did. For you, it might be tame, or it might be the opposite. It might be too much and too in your face. That is one of the big dangers of YouTube. You think you can know something. You think you can be well-versed in the reality of the place you’re going to visit because you’ve spent so much time watching other people living their lives there.

Then you get there and find it’s not what you’re thinking at all.

My Mindset Going In

I didn’t just want to be another farang there on holiday to see if Thailand was going to live up to my expectations and the picture that I had built up in my mind based on everything I had seen online about Thailand over 5 years.

Some might say I went with the wrong mindset, an old-fashioned view of the world. But that was not the case. I went after watching content for 5 years dedicated solely to Thailand. And I thought I would be able to live my way in Thailand and not have to follow certain customs and norms because I was paying. I was the one that was paying. Therefore, they are the ones that have to put up with what I want to do.

Some people might call that selfish, but I call that being a realist about the state of different countries in the world. And there was nothing in any of the videos that I watched that told me that I was wrong or that I had incorrect or even unrealistic expectations of what Thailand was going to be.

First Arrival, Like I’d Done It a Hundred Times

When I finally arrived in Thailand, I’d watched so many videos about people going from the airport to their hotel in Bangkok. It felt like I’d done it a hundred times before. I felt like a natural, like a well-seasoned Thailand traveler. And in a way, I scorned people around me because perhaps they didn’t know what I did.

I planned on staying in Bangkok for a couple of days. Most of the guys I watched lived in Bangkok but went to Pattaya as often as possible. And because I was just there to confirm Thailand was indeed like I was expecting it to be, I knew I needed to look at more than one place in the country.

Everyone seems to go to the same places: Bangkok, Phuket, Pattaya, maybe Chiang Mai, Koh Samui, Hua Hin. So these were the places I wanted to go, with a big emphasis on Pattaya. I couldn’t wait to go there and get up to all sorts of mischief that I wasn’t able to back home. After all, isn’t that what you go to Thailand for? Being able to do things you wouldn’t be able to get away with in your own country. Why else?

Sick on Arrival

Unfortunately, on my first night, I got sick. I had to stay in the hotel for 2 days in Bangkok. On my third day, I was just starting to feel a little bit better, but I wasn’t ready to get a drink yet. It was already time for me to go to Pattaya and I didn’t really get to witness much of Bangkok other than the taxi ride to the hotel from the airport and the BTS from the hotel to the bus station.

I vowed to go back to Bangkok at the end of my trip, but Pattaya was going to be where I wanted to retire and live. So, it only made sense that I would spend the most amount of time there.

Arriving in Pattaya

Arriving in Pattaya felt like I was already where I wanted to be. All those years watching people living the life in Pattaya, and here I was able to do it in person. Finally, I knew all the streets, where to walk, where to go.

But the problem was I didn’t know how to behave in the way that was meant to be acceptable. I thought and assumed it was basically a free-for-all. Anybody working in the entertainment industry understood that they were working in the entertainment industry and therefore could not be afforded the same level of respect as somebody who didn’t.

When I got off the bus in Pattaya, everybody else flocked in their directions where they needed to go and I walked for a bit. I had Google Maps and my hotel was 3 km away. I hadn’t been out of my room in Bangkok for a few days, so I wanted to actually be on the streets for a while. But after around a kilometer, I was already dripping with sweat and feeling like I needed a break. I still hadn’t fully recovered yet.

The Motorcycle Taxi Incident

I saw a motorcycle taxi driver on the corner of one of the streets. He was alone, but I knew enough that his job was to take people on the back of his bike to wherever they wanted to go. I also knew what the prices should be based on videos I’d watched, and it was only 2 km to my hotel.

I remembered back to my taxi ride in Bangkok from the airport to the hotel. That was 400 baht including the tollway and the extra 50 baht you had to pay because you got the taxi at the airport. So logically this motorcycle taxi should be no more than 20 or 30 baht, or at a push, 40.

I showed him on the map where I wanted to go. He said he knew where it was. I jumped on the back and sailed through the streets. Can’t have been 5 minutes and we were already there.

“200 baht,” he said.

This was the first time I was experiencing dual pricing in Thailand. I looked at him and told him it can’t be more than 40 baht. It was not that far. But in broken English, he said “No” in a loud voice and refused to take the 40 baht I tried to hand him.

My Fury at the Scam

Had I heard of things happening like this? Disgusting taxi scams targeted at foreigners? I tried to explain to him how much would you charge a Thai for the same trip? And he just kept saying “200 baht.”

I was absolutely appalled that this guy was trying to have me over. Who the hell did he think he was? I’m in Thailand because it’s cheap and because people like you can provide a service far cheaper than I’d be able to get in my own country. Why the hell else would I be here?

I didn’t want to fold. I knew 200 baht wasn’t a lot of money, but it was about the principle. I’m here to experience Thailand for what Thailand is, not for the greed. And I don’t think the word greed goes far enough to describe the situation. This abhorrent, disgusting, sickening greed on show by this guy who would not have charged a Thai person 200 baht.

Let’s say I’d just given him the money. He’d come back to that spot and had one person an hour for 10 hours straight. 200 baht a time, 2,000 baht, 60,000 baht a month. I thought a good wage in Thailand was meant to be 50,000 baht. Who was this guy and why was he trying to rip me off on my first time in Thailand?

The situation was starting to escalate and I told him “100 baht last price” and he ripped it greedily out of my hand and drove away.

I was left shaking my head. That sense that I nearly had someone take advantage of me just for being a foreigner, which if you did in England would land you in jail for 200 billion years, it appalled me.

So I arrived in Pattaya with a bitter taste in my mouth.

A Legally Sanctioned Thief

How I thought about the motorcycle incident was just the same in my mind as walking into 7-Eleven, going to the fridge, picking up a couple of cans of beer, and walking out without paying. He was a thief, a legally sanctioned thief.

And it’s people like that who need to be controlled and curbed in their activities. Perhaps set a maximum amount of money earned in a day so they can keep the fares at a price that you can’t even notice that you’ve paid for it.

Sorry for dragging on about that, but it was a bad experience when I first arrived after all the hype of 5 years of watching about Thailand. To have that happen to you is upsetting.

The Hotel Staff Restored Some Faith

The next situation, however, completely turned things around. The hotel staff had seen that I’d just been dragged off by this motorcycle taxi driver and the bit of commotion that went on, and they apologized and said it’s often the case that they will charge more to foreign people than they would to Thai people.

I told them he wanted 200 baht just to go 2 km, and they said yes, that’s way too much. They were so friendly, kind, and nice. They were hotel staff and behaved as if that’s what they were, in a very polite and normal and kind manner. I had a guy take my bag up to the room and I gave him a tip, and I engaged in small talk with the receptionists who were really nice people. I can’t say anything negative about the staff in the hotel who seemed to be performing their tasks perfectly.

I was still feeling not at my best and not ready to go out that night. So, I just ordered some food from the hotel and stayed in my room that evening and pulled up some of the latest YouTube videos from the channels I watched. I started feeling better knowing that I was here with them. This was now my territory as well. And I was here to enjoy myself.

Exploring Pattaya

The next day, I was back to normal. Went out early at 10:00 a.m. Just walking on the streets. Walking in all the famous streets that I had watched about for years. Not much going on late morning or early afternoon, but it was great to finally be there.

I saw more motorcycle taxi drivers dotted about the place, and I just looked at them with scorn. I suppose they’re not all going to be as bad as the first one that I had the displeasure of encountering, but I never did get on the back of another motorcycle taxi again. I ended up using Grab every time because I knew what the price was based on the app, not based on the overinflated ego of some guy who wants to rip off the white man.

There was one restaurant I wanted to go to on Beach Road and I made it there on the first day. One of my favorite YouTubers was in there and I remember him ordering a panang gai, panang curry with chicken. It was a bit overpriced, but given the location, I didn’t mind. I don’t mind if there’s a menu and a price because you can choose to walk out.

Anyway, I think I’ve talked too much about that motorcycle incident, but I’m still furious about that even to this day.

Sampling the Beers

I ended up staying in that restaurant for a good few hours. I was sampling the different beers in Thailand, well, the main three: Leo, Chang, and Singha. I was looking forward to part of the debate as to which beer was the best. And after trying each one, Singha became the beer for me in Thailand. It just tasted a bit smoother and a bit crisper than the other two. I didn’t really like Chang.

In the distance, I noticed bars starting to open up. I couldn’t wait to finally go and spend some time in them. After all, this is what my retirement was going to be about, living large in Pattaya, and I couldn’t wait to go and finally experience it.

Walking Street, A Letdown

I was emboldened by the fact that most people, or most of the videos I watched, said that Thailand and Pattaya far exceeded their expectations. My expectations I thought were reasonable. I wasn’t expecting too much. I would just be expecting it to be like I was expecting it to be. Maybe better, because that’s what most people said their experiences were like.

But I went to a bar just to kill a few more hours before the night rolled around and I went up Walking Street.

Walking Street for the first time. It was a bit of a letdown. I think that’s the best way to put it. It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. Far from it. It felt more like a theme park where everyone was welcome as opposed to a place only for people like me. It’s amazing how many people make videos and with the help of editing, you can edit out all the undesirable things of a location and make it appear exactly how your viewer wants it to feel. And then you get there and it’s different.

But I knew Walking Street wasn’t the be-all and end-all. I was just more interested in the smaller, intimate places. And I left Walking Street wondering what on earth had just happened.

Soi Six, More Like It

On Second Road, the amount of massage places there trying to get me in. Many of the girls grabbing at you, grabbing at anywhere on you that they want to grab, trying to get you in. I was enjoying that. That’s what I thought this part of Thailand was for. No-holds-barred debauchery. Am I wrong for wanting to enjoy that? I don’t think I am.

I had a dull marriage for years. I was lonely, saving up as much money as I could to be able to retire to Thailand. And here I was testing the waters to see if it was like I thought it was going to be. This is what I thought it was going to be.

I didn’t want a massage. Didn’t go into any of the shops. But I kept walking until I got to Soi Six. And I walked all the way down that soi. The amount of tension you get is great. And the gropes that you get from the girls, and some that are maybe not girls, in some cases it’s hard to tell. This is more like it.

The Bar Incident

I went into one of the bars somewhere in the middle of the soi. I was finally feeling like this was the time that I’d heard so much about. When I walked into the bar, the first thing I did was grope the first girl that was stood by the steps. I thought this was acceptable and part of Thailand. Anybody who works there understands that they’re there for the entertainment of others and they have to put their feelings on hold until they finish their shift. That was my understanding.

I didn’t grope her excessively, but I’d just been groped at least 20 times and thought it was acceptable. If they can grope me, surely I should be able to grope them.

She proceeded to slap me on my face, and I was asked to leave. I tried to explain to them that I’ve just walked down the street and have been groped 20 times. “Isn’t that what you’re here for? I’d be happy to buy you a drink.” As I’m saying this, at the corner of the bar, there’s another guy there with one of the girls, taking things far beyond what I did. But that was okay because she had a drink next to her.

It’s okay. You’re telling me it’s okay to do that if I buy you a 140 baht drink, but if not, it’s different. I wasn’t buying that, and I walked out.

Hypocrisy at Its Finest

That wasn’t the first experience I was hoping for. I expected her to be playful, maybe reciprocate, and then, let’s say, maybe ask me to buy her a drink, of which I would have obliged. Another sour taste in my mouth.

The hypocrisy that I had just witnessed shocked me. I was very upset by what I had just experienced. I had this vision and the dream turned into a nightmare instead of a reality.

The reason I wanted to talk about this, I suppose many people have watched that viral video that happened on Soi Six not very long ago. The foreigner was acting like a fool in the aftermath of the incident, but apparently he walked into a bar and started groping the girls. That was not acceptable because he hadn’t bought them a drink, but it was acceptable for everyone to grope him outside. There has to be some middle ground here.

I agree, he shouldn’t have been shirtless and started dancing around like a fool, and it was a pleasure to watch him get knocked out. But I don’t believe his actions warranted the security being there.

Whose Side Is Security On?

I thought the purpose of the security was to protect the customers first and foremost. The guys who are paying people’s wages, including that of the security. The security is only there and only has a job, as do the girls, because people are willing to go to these places.

If on your way to these places you’re accosted and groped by countless girls and questionable girls, surely it’s your right to do the same thing. I knew what a bar girl was. But the problem was I don’t think that a bar girl knows what a bar girl is. She gives up her right to respect and dignity the moment she steps foot and agrees to work at a place like that.

The worst thing I see is not when the security get involved and attack the foreigner. It’s when the bar girls start taking off their shoes and hitting foreigners with them. Who are these people? They are there for entertainment purposes. If they didn’t want to be there, they shouldn’t be working there. It’s not that difficult.

Or perhaps it is difficult and I’m just wrong. But all I felt when I was there was that this place was hypocritical.

A Night of Dejection

I left that night and went back to my hotel dejected and feeling completely underwhelmed with what was meant to be a wild party town. It was only wild if you played by the rules, their rules. But I didn’t want to play by their rules because their rules stacked everything in their favor. Rules should be set in the favor of those that are paying. And it’s as simple as that.

I hadn’t worked hard for years to come to Thailand only to find out it wasn’t what I was expecting. Back at the hotel, I can remember nearly breaking down in tears at what I had just witnessed.

I love the stories on your channel, these guys thinking they can save these bar girls, but I doubt there is a word in the Thai language for appreciation or dignity or self-respect. How guys can send money to them shocks me in a way that I haven’t actually been shocked before. Improving the lives through your hard work of these disrespectful, out-of-place, and ultimately greedy individuals is the biggest mistake you can make.

But the problem was they were only happy being disrespected once they had something first. And that was nothing short of sick.

The Fantasy vs. Reality

I lay down on the bed and pulled up a YouTube video. A great channel, a great young guy, got tens of thousands of subscribers living in Pattaya, and everything looked so much better on his video than it did in real life. Because the problem was in real life, the people were real people with real feelings, with real expectations and dreams. I wanted my dreams to come true in Thailand. But on my first night in Pattaya, I was sadly let down.

I am not trying to say that I thought it acceptable to just walk into a place and grope one of the girls. But I thought that that was just how it was because I was being groped so excessively walking around. Hypocrisy at its finest.

What to Do Next?

I didn’t know what to do the next day. Should I just continue to watch YouTube, return to England, and just stay there? But that didn’t feel right. I’m in Thailand to live this so-called Thailand dream. And this Thailand dream involved me being in Pattaya living the life.

I didn’t visit after waiting over 5 years. This was only a reconnaissance mission. I was only there to see. Really, I was only there to confirm what my beliefs about Thailand were. But what I was seeing was nothing like I hoped.

And the problem was the people that worked in these industries. I feel like starting a petition to get the word “greed” redefined in the dictionary. Greed meaning: girls that work in bars in Thailand expecting far more than they are worthy of.

Second Night, Even Worse

On my second night I went back to the same street. I wasn’t smiling while walking around as I was before. When anyone tried to approach me, I asked, “If you grope me, am I allowed to slap you?” They thought I was joking, but I wasn’t. Hypocrites.

I went into a bar just seeing what it was all about. I knew what it was, but it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like I was expecting it to feel. Everything felt so forced and fake, which I wouldn’t have minded if I spent pocket change at one of the bars. But when you’re forking over 30 or 40 quid, for that price, that should include afters.

Perhaps I was just harking back to the days that some guys described Thailand as being a paradise where you could do anything you wanted for £4 or £5.

The Math That Made Me Sick

One of the problems I always had was going back to what a good salary was for someone leaving university in Thailand. 15,000 baht a month and they’re not doing too badly. Again, this was information that I got from watching videos. I worked it out as well. If these girls are working right here, ideally we don’t want them to be making much more than 15,000 baht per month. But we know that they’re going to, however upsetting that is for us. You’ve got to accept that.

But when prices are thrown around and drink totals totted up, the numbers wreak havoc with your mind. Visions of some of these girls making over 100,000 baht per month made me feel sick in my stomach. That was just disgusting. There is no other word to describe it. That was sick.

How in the holy hell are guys meant to enjoy the company of someone who in many cases might be earning more than them for degrading themselves? No thank you.

My Retirement Income vs. Their Earnings

The illusion I had was completely broken. The fantasy, everything I was hoping to do in retirement, it was all ruined by this realization that things were not as they appeared in the videos that appear online.

My retirement income was going to be about 100,000 baht per month, just over two and a half grand. And that made sense to me. But it didn’t make sense that girls working there could make that amount as well. I think they should legally not be able to make more than 25% of that at the most, to make these places the entertainment districts they were meant to be.

No, thank you. Absolutely not. What a shocking state of affairs and a shocking and disgusting world we live in.

I think it goes to the famous saying: don’t meet your heroes. Pattaya was my hero. It had been talked up by so many people saying it was fantastic, and I found it to be a disappointment.

Overrun by Foreigners

One of the biggest things that I hated about Pattaya, what you don’t see very clearly in the videos that many people put on the internet, is that it is overrun by foreigners. I know I was a foreigner as well, but I didn’t expect there to be a million there.

In a way, I found Thailand to be very similar to the girls that work in the bars. They sort of the same thing, ring true to each other. Want, want, want, then f*** off. That was my overall feeling from my time in Thailand.

I stayed there for another 10 days before leaving. I was heartbroken in one sense because I picked this place for 5 years, and when I got there, it was nothing like I expected it to be. Far softer, way too expensive for what it was, and a shocking sense of greed that emanated from every corner.

Back to England

I’m retired now. For some reason, I still find myself watching YouTube videos about Thailand. I think I do it because I can keep the fantasy of what I thought Thailand was alive in my mind.

In England, I will remain throughout my retirement. It’s not perfect here. It’s not as good as the Thailand that I had in my mind. But it’s far better than the reality of what Thailand is.

If you’re going to Thailand, I would say go expecting the worst, praying for the best. That way, if it’s only slightly better than your worst expectation, you’re still going to be happy. I went to Thailand expecting the very best, and it fell far short of my expectations.

And I need to go back to saying how hypocritical Thailand is.

Still Furious

I must admit to still being furious about that motorcycle taxi driver that tried to rip me off. How dare he do that? How dare he think he could charge me more than the right amount? In my mind, he should be giving me a discount so my money goes further and I can stay in Thailand longer.

But no. Illusions are dangerous. Expectations are also dangerous because they are rarely met, especially in Thailand.

Because Thailand ruined my retirement dream.