Romance Success And Surin Trouble

As I say, this first story is quite a short story, but it’s quite humorous.

I have been to Pattaya several times already and was booked for four weeks at Songkran last year, six weeks at Christmas, two more weeks in Phuket, and another four in Pattaya, but these were cancelled due to the current situation in the world.

I’ve been self-employed for 40 years, running my own business. When the second lockdown happened, I decided to call it a day and retire for good.

Retirement Leads To A Supermarket Job

After about a month of sitting looking at the wall, I was coming out of a large supermarket and saw an advert for Christmas staff. I thought, “Why not? I will apply for a laugh.” At 65 and 40 years self-employed, I would be unemployable.

A few days later, I get a phone call: “Would you like to come in for an interview?” I duly turn up and had done a lot of mental preparation, as I have not been interviewed for many, many years.

So we sat down, and the lady asked me, “Why have you applied for this job?” I pointed out that I’d retired and it was driving me crazy. She said, “My dad was the same. Don’t think we need to bother about the interview. Can you come in on Saturday?”

I said, “Yeah, no problem.”

Thai Customer At The Register

I turn up on Saturday, and I’m trained on the cash registers. About a week in, I’m on the cash registers, and this beautiful slim girl with long black hair and olive skin starts putting her goods on the belt.

I ask her, “Where are you from?”

“Thailand,” she says.

I tell her that I love Thailand and that I should be in Phuket at this very moment. She pays and walks away from the cash registers. “God, I wish I was in Phuket,” I think. I watch this beautiful slim girl walking away from me. She turns, looks over her shoulders, and smiles at me.

A few days later, I’m on the cash register and I spot the same girl waiting in my queue. This time, she has made an effort with makeup and some nice clothes. So we chat as I put her groceries through the cash register. I ask her her name, she asks me mine, and I get another look over the shoulder as she walks away, and she once again smiles.

This is like slow motion in a bar in Pattaya.

Thai Cooking Offer

A couple of days later, she appears again, and she has a lot of Thai-type food on the belt. She looks stunning. I say, “I love Thai food, but I’m not very good at cooking it. I’ve been trying to find some Thai cooking lessons somewhere.”

She comes back with: “I can teach you. I’m bored in the afternoons.”

Phone numbers exchanged.

Cooking Lesson Turns Personal

I have an early shift a couple of days later, 5 till 1. My new Thai friend has arranged to meet me by the exit. I had offered to pick her up from her house, but she declined. I own a Land Rover Discovery, and she gets in, and I can see the mental calculator working overtime.

We arrive at my house, which is by no means a shoebox (remember, I had my own successful business for over 40 years). So we’re in the kitchen, and she is showing me how to prepare food. I’m quite close to her, and I allow my hand to rest on her backside. She snuggles in a little closer to me and gives me a lovely smile.

Game on.

Food eaten. We are putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and we are now very much in each other’s personal space. I suggest we take a shower.

Married To An English Guy

A little while later, we are lying exhausted in bed. A little sad look comes over her face. I’m thinking, “Here it comes, the family buffalo is dead.”

She says, “I’m married to an English guy, and he does not treat me very good. He promised to send money to my family and he doesn’t. Can I help?”

So to cut a long story short, I had £70 in my wallet. I gave that to her. It was the best afternoon I had had in months.

Micks Conscience

Now the difficult bit, my conscience. Thai bar girls often have boyfriends or husbands. What should I do? She is going to end up leaving her current partner, that’s what I have told myself. And in return, she’s going to return to her old profession in the UK or Pattaya.

That’s it, basically. But I should also mention that I’m getting much better at Thai cooking.

Fred Starts Over In Thailand

I’m an American. My name is Fred.

I’m choosing to begin my story in 2018, the year I decided to move to Thailand. I had actually been planning to only visit Thailand on a holiday with my brother and his wife. We were planning to stay for a month, but due to various stressful circumstances in my life, I decided I would try to start over in the Land of Smiles.

California Burnout Before Thailand

I was a 32-year-old student living and working in Orange County, California. Although Southern California is a beautiful place, I was struggling to make ends meet due to my awful salary and the extremely high cost of living in California. To make matters worse, I had just gone through a terrible breakup with my long-term girlfriend. I was reaching my breaking point. I needed something to change.

I was graduating from university in May of that year. One night over some beers, I made a split-second decision to live and teach in Thailand. I was so tired of being broke all the time. I figured I’d rather see the world as a broke traveler than stay in my depressing apartment working in a job I hated. Plus, with my new degree, I wanted to take a chance teaching in Thailand.

Malaysia Trip Nearly Ends In Tragedy

Planning The Asia Route

Leading up to my graduation, I became obsessed with research on everything Thailand. I began to dream about my life living in the Land of Smiles. I planned everything, from the Airbnbs, hostels, ferry crossings, even down to the places we would eat. I knew I wouldn’t be seeing my brother and sister-in-law for a long time, so I wanted to make the trip as special as possible.

I graduated May 19th, and by May 27th, we were flying to Singapore. The itinerary I created for the three of us had us landing in Singapore, backpacking up through Malaysia to Thailand. I booked lodging in Johor Bahru, Kuala Lumpur, and Penang, then flying from Penang, Malaysia to Phuket.

The one experience I feel is worth mentioning is the morning we were scheduled to take a bus from Johor Bahru to Kuala Lumpur.

We were running late to the bus station. The bus I planned for us to take was leaving at 12:15 p.m., and it was already 11:50 a.m. when we arrived at the station. We still had to manage to purchase our tickets, so we were all feeling a bit stressed. The loudspeaker was screeching in a different language at a volume that was making my head spin, and the massive crowd of people bustling about wasn’t helping matters.

I was trying to figure out the ticket machine when my brother’s wife said she didn’t want to rush and that we should take the 12:45 bus instead, which was 30 minutes later. We argued a bit, but in the end, I reluctantly agreed, and we booked the later bus.

The Bus Crash We Avoided

It was about an hour into our journey when we realized how lucky we were. Yes, the 12:15 bus had a major collision with a lorry. Online, they reported three dead and about 20 injured. My brother’s wife was so adamant about taking the later bus. I have no doubt it was her intuition that saved us that day.

Phuket And Dating Apps

We arrived in Phuket and did the normal tourist things. I booked a resort for my brother and his wife as a surprise. They had an excellent time, and I was happy for them, but I was feeling a bit lonely being around them and all the other couples in the various places we went to.

I went out to a couple of bars, but because of my research, I was a bit overly cautious when talking with bar girls. In the end, I decided to try dating in our next destination, Bangkok, as I wasn’t really looking for a one-night stand. Rather, I wanted someone to show me around the local areas instead of the tourist traps.

I had booked our Bangkok accommodation for two weeks, staying only three nights in each Airbnb in several different areas throughout the city. This gave us an excellent taste of the local areas.

Searching For Local Bangkok

I decided to use a dating app to get more of a local perspective. As I knew I would be living in Thailand, I was desperate to get away from the typical farang (foreigner) scene and discover something special. I put on my dating profile that I wasn’t looking for sex and that my motivation was to discover local Thai food, history, and music.

I was shocked how many women wrote to me online initiating a meet-up. I’m from America, where you can send out a hundred messages and maybe get a few generic responses. But in Thailand, it’s a whole different world.

Connecting With Nang

I only used the app for two days before I connected with Nang. She was 31 and drop-dead gorgeous, but the thing that really got me interested was her sense of humor. She had me cracking up every time we chatted online. Needless to say, her English was excellent.

After five days of chatting, I asked to meet up with her for lunch or dinner. Instead of answering my request with a yes or no, Nang just decided to change the subject. I felt a bit let down. I was going to be heading to Chiang Mai with my brother and his wife in two days for a week, and I really wanted to meet her before that.

I told her I would be in Chiang Mai for a week and that I would still message her every day. She laughed and teased me, saying that I was only going there to visit my wife.

Chiang Mai Football And Tuk Tuk Memories

Chiang Mai was great. We were there during the 2018 World Cup, so of course, being a football fanatic, it was pretty much heaven on earth for me. Nang and I would message throughout the days and nights while I was discovering one of the most magnificent cities I’d ever been to. The temples and the nature alone are worth the trip. The people in the north were so warm and inviting.

Drinking With Chiang Mai Locals

One night, I got drunk with three old men. I saw them gambling in front of a shop house. They tried to direct me to a bar, but I told them I wanted whatever they were drinking. I was half joking, but they were quick to offer me a seat.

The television was tuned into a Thai boxing fight. The upcoming fight was between a Frenchman and a Thai. The old men began shouting at me, saying I had to bet on the foreigner. I told them I don’t bet, but they didn’t care. So I figured, when in Rome…

All the old men put money on the Thai fighter. I realized that the French fighter was five kilos heavier and a good bit taller than the Thai fighter. I was thinking, “This is hardly fair.” Sure enough, the poor Thai fighter was on the canvas in no time and couldn’t manage to stand up. So the Frenchman won.

The old men started yelling at the TV angrily as they all started pushing their money towards me. I told them it was just for fun and I couldn’t take their money, as they were already giving me free alcohol. That didn’t matter to them. They seemed thrilled to have me as a guest.

As the wife of one of the old men came out from a back room, the old men began to collect their things, and I could tell she was ready for the boys’ night out to finish. I started walking back to my room, which was only about three kilometers away.

Late Night Tuk Tuk Ride

To my shock, one of the old men was a tuk-tuk driver, and his tuk-tuk was parked at the side of the shop. He yelled at me to get in and told me that he didn’t want me walking the streets late at night due to all the crazy drivers. I’m aware of the irony. Part of me wanted to refuse, but then I felt a rush of excitement and got in.

He drove me to my Airbnb and again refused to accept any money. His smile was so kind and gentle. I can’t help but smile thinking back on that reckless night.

First Meeting With Nang

I was having an excellent time with my brother and his wife in Chiang Mai, but I was counting the days when I’d be flying back to Bangkok. I decided to be more direct with Nang. I called her while she was on her break at work. I told her I wanted to see her as soon as I landed and that we had been talking for almost three weeks now, and that it was time for a face-to-face meeting.

She just replied, “Okay.”

I was beyond excited. As our plane approached Don Mueang Airport in Bangkok, I rushed the three of us to our new Airbnb, which was in the Bang Na area. My brother and his wife were a bit skeptical about me meeting up with a person I met online in a foreign country, but they were also happy to get some time alone.

Doubts Before The Date

I was getting ready for my date with Nang when I was hit with a flood of doubt. My confidence had taken a beating over the past few years, and a part of me felt like maybe this experience would end in me being disappointed, or Nang not liking me. I took a few deep breaths and told myself that this was my new life and I wasn’t going to be the sad guy sitting at home feeling sorry anymore.

After my little pep talk to myself, I was on a motorbike to the BTS to meet Nang at the Asok BTS station (that’s the overhead trains). As the wind poured through my hair, my doubts seemed to be quickly disappearing.

If you’ve spent time in Bangkok, you’ll understand the complexity that is the Asok BTS station, as it is a meeting point for three train lines. That being said, I was able to navigate through the crowd and up the escalator to where Nang said she would be waiting for me.

I had already made up my mind that if she wasn’t as beautiful as she was in her pictures online, I wouldn’t feel let down, I would try to enjoy the experience.

Seeing Nang At Asok

As I walked through the crowd, I saw her. She was looking out across the city. I was shocked, if I’m being honest. My first emotion was fear. I knew from the moment I saw her, I wasn’t going to be able to ever say goodbye. She was far, far more beautiful in person than her pictures.

Nang turned and recognized me, and with a big Thai smile said, “Hello.” I just looked at her with a dumb grin. I couldn’t seem to put my words together for several minutes. We just sat and looked at each other and giggled like teenagers.

Walking Through Bangkok With Nang

After I’d composed myself, we walked and talked. We must have walked 10 kilometers. It was starting to get dark, and Nang suggested we eat. We both went out of our way not to answer too many personal questions so we would have more things to talk about on our first date.

We continued to walk as Nang responded to my continuing curiosities. She’s a typical traditional Thai girl. She works as a loan officer for a foreign bank in Bangkok. Her parents live in Chonburi. She’s been living on her own for about seven years in Bangkok.

The salaries here in Thailand are terrible, even for those who have a bachelor’s or even a master’s degree. So Nang is very careful with money. When we ate dinner, she insisted that she pay, and in the end, we agreed to split the bill.

The First Kiss

Before I had a chance to blink, it was midnight. It was obvious that both of us didn’t want the night to end. Being a good girl, Nang suggested we meet the following day. I was relieved that the interest wasn’t only from my side.

We said our goodbyes, and it was then that I kissed her. Luckily for me, she went along with it. I told my brother and his wife about the day. They were a bit skeptical, but in the end, they congratulated me.

Moving In With Nang Slowly

By this time, we had a little over a week left on our 30-day tourist visa. I knew I would be extending my 30-day visa to a 60-day visa, but I needed to begin sorting out where I would be staying.

Money And TEFL Plans

I had saved up $5,000 US dollars and had also booked an English TEFL teaching course in Koh Samui. The problem was that my course wasn’t going to start until September, and at this point, it was only June. This meant my money had to stretch four months, provided I would get a teaching job as soon as I completed my teaching course.

Nang Offers Her Condo

After I explained this to Nang, she offered to let me stay at her condo, as long as we didn’t sleep together. I told her that I was happy to accept that offer. Nang was surprised that I agreed to take things slow.

Previous to me coming to Thailand, I had casually dated a few different women, but my experiences were quite unfulfilling. Nang was so interesting, kind, and beautiful, I had no interest in getting into anything until she was ready.

As the next months passed by, I was living with Nang. I eventually said goodbye to my brother and his wife, they decided to extend their visas as well. I was so happy Nang and I were able to take them out for dinner before they headed back to the States.

Just like that, it was just me in the country of Thailand, and the only person I knew was Nang.

Dating Nang Joys And Challenges

I could write a series of books on the complexities of dating a Thai woman, but I will just say this: Thai women are so different from Western women, it’s almost like dating a third gender.

Trust And Jealousy

Nang took care of me like I was royalty. That being said, like many beautiful women here, Nang had an explosive temper. We had our share of arguments and issues with jealousy, but in the end, we worked through it all.

I was happier than I had ever been in my life. And although I told Nang this daily, she still assumed I would just leave and find somebody that was more beautiful than her. That was our biggest struggle, her thinking I would leave her.

I’m aware that this kind of jealousy is a deal-breaker for many men. At times, I felt like it wasn’t going to work, but I was able to put her jealousy into context. What I mean is that women in Thailand have a much different experience than Western women with regards to cheating men.

I communicated that if she was to continue with her jealousy, it would have a negative effect on our relationship. She listened to my concerns, and she slowly was able to trust me.

Bangkok Teaching Job Offer

Teaching Job Changes Everything

September came. My teaching course began, and to my surprise, I had a job offer at a private school in Bangkok on the first week of the four-week course. The job paid more than I expected, 40,000 baht to start.

By the time my course finished, my money was dwindling down. Looking back, I have nothing but gratitude for all the things that went right. In addition to the decent salary that my job offered, they also would manage all the complications of obtaining a work permit and reimburse me for all visa costs.

I was riding high. Nang was helping me with money, and now I was just happy to return the favor.

Proposal At Asok BTS

In February of 2019, eight months into our relationship, I asked Nang to meet me after work to get dinner at a restaurant near the Asok BTS station (that is where we first met).

As we stepped off the train, I walked to the edge of the platform. She was wondering what I was doing but figured I was just trying to get a nice picture of the beautiful skyline, like I always do.

Nang Says Yes

As she walked towards me, I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. There were people all around us, trying to act like they didn’t see what was happening.

Nang’s eyes began to flood as she responded, “Yes.”

It’s now 2021, and our wedding is going to be November 14th. I know it may seem foolish to propose marriage only after eight months of dating, but I just knew. Our relationship is far from perfect, but we’ve both matured and grown well together.

Surin Bar Girl Car Crash

This is Tim.

I have visited Thailand several times in the past. Way back in 2012, I met a beautiful woman of 27 online. This lady was a mother of one boy. After some time, she asked me to visit her village near the Cambodian border, and she gave me directions how to get there by bus.

Bus To Surin

I went from Bangkok Airport to Mor Chit Bus Terminal and took the bus to Surin. There, I rented a room in a small hotel near the bus station. In the lobby of the hotel, I met an old Norwegian guy who looked very depressed, I guess he’d had a bad day or something. I later bumped into the same guy, and over a few beers, he told me his story: his Thai girlfriend had kicked him out of his house, and her new German boyfriend had moved in with her.

Welcome to the Land of Enchantment.

Nat Disappears On Arrival

The next day, I took a bus to the village of the lady I’d met online, but could not find her. Nat (my new girlfriend) had turned off her phone, even though she knew I was arriving.

A few hours later, her cousin called and asked, “Where are you?” I replied, “I’m at the bus station, checked into the hotel.” I asked, “Where is Nat?” She said, “Tonight, she will come to your hotel.”

Okay, great. I was now alone and in a boring hotel.

Nat Arrives Drunk

Very late that same night, Nat turned up at the hotel, asked reception which room I was in, and knocked on my door. (I later found out that the hotel didn’t even ask her for ID, she could have been anyone.)

To say that I was surprised to see her is an understatement. Initially, I was pleased to see Nat standing at my hotel door. However, it soon became apparent that she was totally drunk, and I had most likely been an afterthought.

Typical former bar girl, with tattoos all over her body, even “down south”. Her phone was ringing even at 2 a.m., most likely her customers.

I was not too happy, but thought to myself, “I have come all this way, I might as well get something out of it.” But it was a terrible night. It was like watching a TV for an hour that was not even switched on.

Money Requests From Nat

Nat came back again late at night, and again drunk. Again, she asked me for money. I gave her some, but she was not happy and said, “This is not enough to support my family.”

I told her I was bored here alone in the countryside and did not come all this way to spend my days on my own. She replied, “So you come my house. I stay with mother and son. You sleep in our home in the village.”

I thought, “Why not? How much worse can it get?”

Living In Nats Village House

I moved from the hotel to her shack, which Nat called a house. Her mum was very kind. We ate sticky rice together, we sat on the floor and used our fingers to eat it. I was now experiencing a very simple way of life.

Nat was always disappearing and coming home with money. No prizes for guessing where she was going and where the money was coming from. I just didn’t care anymore.

Two AM Visitor In The Village

Then one night at about 2 a.m., we were sleeping in the same room but in different beds, which was out of respect for her mother. I heard some commotion in the room. I removed the mosquito net, and I saw a man in the room going to Nat’s bed. He sat on the bed and started whispering.

I got up and asked, “What’s going on?” The man slowly left the room without saying a word to me. He was barefooted.

I asked Nat, “Who is this guy?”

She said, “He’s my brother. We have not seen each other for two months. He only came in to say hi.”

I said, “Well, why at 2 a.m.? It’s a bit strange, isn’t it?”

She said, “He was fishing, and he decided to stop in and check on me. He was worried I was sleeping alone, just checking my safety.”

Brother Story Falls Apart

I always have an exit strategy on hand. I said, “No worries, he’s your brother, he cares for you.”

Four Boyfriends And Allowances

I called her cousin, who told me that Nat had four boyfriends and she got an allowance off all four of them.

Exit Strategy From Surin

The next day, I told Nat I need to go to Laos on a visa run as my visa will expire soon if I don’t go. This was my exit strategy. I was worried that she might get angry and make a scene if I left her, but it was a dead-end relationship that had run its course, and I wanted out.

The next day, I left. I told her, “I will be back soon, tilak.”

Some Thai ladies have their own exit strategies, for example: sick mum, funerals, brother had a motorcycle accident. You know the script. We all know they’re BS, but they continue to use them.

My advice to anyone: don’t travel halfway around the world to meet someone you have never met before.