A Bangkok Bar Girl Scam and the Cost of Falling in Love

I’m a 68 year old male from the UK and now fully retired. I was married for 35 years and about 10 years ago split up from my wife who divorced me. This was the best thing that happened to me although not my choice instigated by my wife, as divorces statistically are started by women. Nothing comes close to the happiness it brought me. I suddenly felt free and answerable to no one.

It took a while for things to settle down. The divorce proceedings took many years due to the divorce being bitter, but all came good in the end.

I’d never been to Thailand or outside of Europe before but decided to escape the English winter and enjoy my new freedom and travel around Southeast Asia. So in November 2022, after the COVID restrictions ended, I booked a flight to Bangkok with the intention of traveling around neighboring countries, returning to the UK in the spring as a solo man. All went very well and I had the time of my life Philippines, Cambodia, and Vietnam. I ended up back in Bangkok which lined up nicely for my return to the UK.

I had taken the decision that I no longer wanted marriage because it’s a financial noose around a man’s neck, particularly in the West anyway.

The First Night Forewarned but Still Vulnerable

Having listened to many of Thailand Bound stories and others on YouTube warning me of Thai bar girls’ techniques, I went alone to a bar in Soi 4 in Bangkok to see for myself. I was forewarned and forearmed, as they say.

True to form, I was seated for only about one minute when a bar girl approached me and started making conversation. Very pretty and attractive, about 20 years my junior. I found her irresistible. I bought her a lady drink, we got along very well, and I ended up bar fining her and taking her back to my hotel. The activity in the bedroom was fantastic aerobics like I hadn’t had for 30 years, and much, much better.

We awoke the following morning, and this is where I let my guard slip. She said I could bar fine her for a month and that would be cheaper for me. The deal was 5,000 baht for a month’s bar fine and 4,000 baht per day for her. She felt so sweet and convincing, I agreed to it.

The Month Together Falling in Love and Emptying Wallets

The next month saw us traveling all over Thailand, and having broken the three day rule, I fell in love with her. The girls are so manipulative and I was very weak. I realized I was paying her a lot of money for her company, but it seemed worth it to me at the time.

It soon became apparent she was the typical bar girl to a T. I was paying for everything accommodation, food, drink, transport, even a two baht piece of squid off the street carts. I bought her an expensive piece of jewelry which she later claimed to have lost. She paid for nothing. I mean nothing.

Later when I had returned to the UK, I spoke to a Thai friend who said, “No, no, she hasn’t lost it. I know Asian girls, I’m one myself. She sold that.“ I had thought that could be the case but didn’t want to believe it. That was my friend’s immediate thought, totally dismissing the fact she could have genuinely lost it.

The Long Distance Scam Requests for Money

I was messaged on a daily basis after I had returned to the UK from said bar girl, and true to bar girl form, came the message: “Can you send me some money?” Pictures of a sick person in a hospital appeared on the messaging app a bit like the old sick buffalo trick, I guess.

It was just a matter of time before she was to ask for money, I thought. But I had hoped she would break the true form of a bar girl and not request any money from me. But no, she wanted money. No way was I sending it abroad for her.

After many months of emotional trauma and her wanting to marry me back in Thailand, I eventually realized my stupidity and we parted company with no financial damage to myself apart from what I had agreed to pay her for her time and company, which in the main I enjoyed. At least I didn’t lose a house like some men do, I suppose.

The Moral Forewarned but Still Foolish

The moral of my story is: I was fully warned, I knew the dangers, and I still fell for it. Can you just imagine the financial damage I could have incurred? Marry her or just partner with her, and you marry her family. She had three children in their twenties of child producing age. That could equal six future grandchildren, I suppose, and if I was unlucky, could be more. I would be financially ruined.

Why, oh why, do men fall for these girls? And I was warned. I was fully open. I don’t want a relationship a female friendship maybe, but no commitment. Females would say typical men, I expect.

I understand their rationale to support themselves and to earn money. I get it. They want men to support them, which is fine. Like here in the UK in the 1950s. But why not work at 7 Eleven, for example? She said she was too old. There must be many jobs out there, even though not as well paid.

It’s now put me off returning to Thailand for fear of an embarrassing accidental meeting with said girl. I know Bangkok is a big place, but these girls have a network that would put the FBI to shame. I love Thailand and Southeast Asia, but phew what a close call.

I went into it knowing the dangers, and that annoys me that I could be so stupid. Brains in trousers, I guess. Be warned, guys. If I fell for it, anyone can. And I saw similar men with Thai girls all over the place paying for everything. She caught me hook, line, and sinker. It’s a business to these girls, and they are good. Very good.

My advice: have fun with these girls and abide by the three day rule. I would say make it a 24 hour rule new one every night and you’ll be good to go.