A 100000 Baht Monthly Allowance and Gambling Losses

So I’ve got this whole story to share about what happened to me in Thailand and how I ended up having a kid with a Thai girl. It’s been mental, honestly loads of ups and downs.

This all began way back and is still going on to this day. I guess it’s still an ongoing story, but I have got myself into a position where I wish I never met this woman.

Gonna try to go through everything that I have had to deal with from day one to where I stand now, so bear with me.

I guess I will start at the date I lost my father, which came completely out of the blue. He was in his 70s but pretty healthy and didn’t have any conditions that we knew about.

What My Father Taught Me

I have to mention this about my father because it’s the feeling of losing him that led me to go to Thailand.

I remember it like it was yesterday my mum calling me in a complete wreck, screaming down the phone saying my dad won’t wake up, telling me he has gone.

I went over to my mum’s place, which fortunately wasn’t too far, to find an ambulance outside. When I got in the house, the paramedics were around him and managed to revive him, but he ended up in a coma.

Unfortunately, that’s how he stayed, hooked up to machines in the hospital for a week until he finally passed away.

This completely messed me up because we were such a tight knit family and our dad was everything to us.

A Father Who Was Always There

He was a very good father and was always there for me. We had that type of relationship where, when I was younger, he was my best friend. Can’t thank him enough for raising me the way he did.

A few months after everything had happened with my dad, I was still in a really dark place from everything we’d gone through and wanted to clear my head, or at least have something else to focus on for a while.

Luckily for me, a few of my mates were planning to go to Thailand for a holiday and asked me to join. Anything at that point was better than sitting at home being sad and down.

I had actually been to Thailand a couple of times before, but I was with my ex girlfriend so I did not do any partying or anything like that. We just went to Krabi for a relaxing holiday.

Though, with all the beautiful women everywhere, I kinda wish I was single and had gone on my own.

Life with My Former Girlfriend

Despite being with my ex girlfriend for my previous Thailand trips, I still loved the country and wanted to experience it again.

This time I really made the most out of the nightlife as I was single and had no baggage with me. We started in Bangkok, then headed to Pattaya, finishing in Phuket.

It was there that I met Mint. She was working in a bar that we went to not too far from Bangla Road.

We walked in and we instantly caught each other’s smile, but she seemed shy to come over and talk to me, so after I got a drink I waved her over.

When I met her, she was this really shy, sweet, petite girl from Isan.

Knowing What People Would Think

I know what you’re thinking yeah yeah, typical story but she’d genuinely only been there for a week working in a bar.

Now I know most girls will tell customers that they have only been working at the bar for a couple of weeks, but I know for a fact that Mint had only been there for a week or two.

We have been together for years and years now, so I have heard all of the backstory to how she ended up having to leave her village and end up working in a bar in Phuket.

When we first met, her English was absolute shit, so we had to rely on translator apps or her friends who had been working at the bars a long time helping us out with translating.

Although it was hard for us to communicate, not being able to speak each other’s language, we still clicked instantly and had a good time together.

Spending Every Day Together

In fact, we spent every day together after we met until I had to go home.

We would either go out together, or she and her friends would come out with me and my friends. It was a really nice time considering everything I had been through back home.

When it was time to go, I emptied my wallet and gave her about 20,000 baht I had left. This was for the time we had together and probably a little extra maybe more than it should have been, but it’s fine.

After that, we said our goodbyes, and I thought that would be it end of a little holiday romance, now back to reality.

To my surprise, she actually kept in touch with me over texts and video calls, and within a month I was ready to board the plane again for Thailand.

Sending Money from Home

While I was at home, I had sent her about £500. I can’t remember how much that was in baht back then, but probably around 20,000. I’m not sure.

She had quit the bar and moved back to Isan where she was staying with family.

So this trip, I was going deep into Thailand none of the nightlife, beaches and beer. It was straight up village life.

This was the first time I actually got to see how the other side of Thailand lived, and it’s completely different from the tourist areas.

When we went to meet her family, they did have a bit of cash for Thai standards, but weren’t exactly loaded. Still lived in one of the makeshift places, but always seemed to have food and drinks, to which the whole neighbourhood seemed to always come over and eat.

Mint Opens Up About Her Life

Mint opened up to me while we were there and told me the reason that she went to Phuket to work in a bar is because she developed a gambling addiction.

It got that bad that she was taking money from her family to use it for gambling. She even borrowed money in their name and lost it all, leaving her family with hardly anything. That’s how she ended up in a bar.

She’d been gambling the whole time that her parents thought she was away working. She racked up this massive debt that her parents ended up having to cover.

They actually sold off some of their land just to pay what she owed. Then she turned around and did the exact same shit again, so her parents were like, forget this, you’re on your own. That’s when she had no choice but to go to Phuket and work off the debts herself.

So this sweet and innocent girl that I met in Phuket was actually far from that, and the gambling addiction should have been enough of a red flag for me to walk away because clearly she doesn’t care about wasting other people’s money.

When the Story Should Have Ended

The story should have ended there, but it didn’t.

Although her village was a nice experience and it was nice to see how the other side of Thailand lives, it was extremely boring after about a week, so we decided to travel to Phuket from Khon Kaen and spend the rest of the trip there.

We’d planned to do some travelling for a month, which was how long I was planning to stick around for.

One month turned into three. I actually ended up extending my visa and did a border hop just so I could stay with her. We were getting along great and I did not want to go back to the UK in the slightest.

From what I could tell, she was having a great time as well. Well, it must have been fun for her having someone around paying for everything and giving her a bit of money each week to send back to her family.

Giving Mint Extra Money

I was also giving her some extra money to pay off the gambling debts she had gotten herself into. Stupid of me, I know that now.

Ah well, money comes and goes. It was worth it to make memories shame those memories turned into nightmares later down the line.

After three months in Thailand with her, I headed back to the UK, helped out with my family and convinced my work to let me work remotely every now and again.

My plan was to try and go to Thailand as much as I can but still earn an income while doing that. I did not want to exactly pack my job up, move there, and then end up skint having to come back.

Mint said she went back to her village while I was in the UK and I started sending her a monthly salary.

Living Within My Means

I am not rich by any means and I’m not retired yet. Also, I had very little savings, so I couldn’t exactly send her a ton of money, but I did manage to send around 15 to 20 thousand baht per month to her.

Plus I was trying to save as much money as possible because the next trip there we planned on travelling around as much of Thailand as possible, and that isn’t cheap.

I was only back in the UK for about three months, working as much as I could, and then I was on my way back to Thailand for our travelling trip.

When I got back, I was buzzing to get into travel mode again like we’d done before. We covered basically all of Thailand, did all the tourist spots like Phuket, Koh Samui, Krabi, Koh Lanta and Chiang Mai, plus a bunch of the lesser known places in between that most tourists skip.

And then we did a few stop offs in Isan on the way to see her family.

The Reality of Life in Thailand

I ended up seeing so much of the country and fell even more in love with Thailand.

She introduced me to a lot of her friends that she had outside of the tourist areas and they all seemed like decent, hard working people.

They had proper jobs, were educated and very polite to be around. I think being around them made her seem way better than she actually was.

It made her seem like she was a good girl and had just taken the wrong path when her friends had taken the right one. I guess it made me get into captain save a girl mode and want to help out as much as I could.

I know she didn’t like the bar life. She was hardly ever there anyway, so I think she was counting on me to get her out of it, and to be honest, I wanted to be the one to help.

Supporting Her Family

And that is exactly what I did for the next three damn years.

I was sending her money every month a salary and any extra that she needed and the rest of the money I had would be saved for the next trip to go and see her, where I would end up spending most of my money on her anyway.

The routine was pretty good, what we had, though it was costing me a fortune. In the three years I would spend three or four months in the UK, then spend two months in Thailand. As you can imagine, that isn’t a cheap routine.

Luckily, like I said, I was able to still work while I was in Thailand, so I guess that is one of the advantages I had when it comes to a Thai and farang relationship.

Things between us were pretty good. We had a couple of fallouts and arguments in the three years of doing this, but nothing overly serious, and we always made up after.

When Her Feelings Changed

I guess the story changes when she fell pregnant. We weren’t actually trying for a baby, but we did nothing to stop it from happening.

It’s not like either of us were against having a child together it’s just nothing we really talked about or planned for.

I had seen her with kids in her village and her friends’ children. She was brilliant with them and I genuinely thought it would be alright, that everything would work.

So, when we got that news, it was time to get out of holiday mode every time I came. No more travelling around, going to the bars, late nights and partying it was time to be responsible.

We decided to get a place in Chiang Mai since that seemed like the best spot to raise a kid. It was away from the main party life, decent hospitals and schools, and just all in all looked like a decent place to start a family.

Staying in Thailand for the Relationship

I’d stuck around in Thailand for pretty much the whole pregnancy, looking after her and going to all the appointments and everything. Had to do a couple of border runs, but it was worth it.

Everything with her giving birth went perfectly and we had a beautiful, healthy child. I paid for all her family to come down from Isan so they could meet the new family member.

Her family actually ended up sticking around for about a month and although it was great having them there helping out when we needed it, I did start to think that they were never going to leave and just end up moving in.

Fortunately, they didn’t, and they did leave.

So about two months after our daughter was born and everyone had gone back home, she started to change into a completely different person.

Dealing with Severe Mood Swings

Insane mood swings, chucking things around the house and screaming louder than I’d ever heard her scream before. I figured it was probably just from being exhausted as a new mum or something.

I was doing everything I could to help out. It was always me getting up in the middle of the night with our daughter, me doing all the cooking and cleaning. I pretty much took over the whole parenting role while she sat there watching Thai shows on TV.

That isn’t what annoyed me. In fact, I enjoyed being a father and having to do the role of dad. What annoyed me was even after I was the one doing everything, it was never good enough and she would find something to scream at me about.

My job gave me permission to now work remotely full time now they knew that I had a baby and family in Thailand. They knew I would be spending most of my time there and luckily for me they were fine with it. I couldn’t have asked for a nicer boss at the time.

Then, around four months after having a baby, we were watching the news where they were talking about a virus that had been spreading, and we all know what happened after that the whole world started going into lockdown.

Speaking to Mint’s Friend

I told one of Mint’s mates she could come stay with us and I’d pay her to help look after the baby. Her friend was about to lose her job anyway from the pandemic, so she was keen to earn some cash. Plus it meant I could actually get a break for once, which was absolutely brilliant.

I thought with her friend being there that Mint would be happier. Her friend could watch the baby in the day and I could work and make money for us all. I thought we would just be one big happy family from then.

But no, I was completely wrong.

Mint was happy for about a day and then carried on with her crazy mood swings for no apparent reason. Even her friend started getting a bit worried about her.

Thailand’s first lockdown came and went fairly quickly and her friend eventually left to go back to her old job when her position became available again. Then it was back to just us three.

Thailand Begins Reopening

Although Thailand was opening up again, there was still no chance I could get back to the UK for my usual break.

I can’t exactly remember if it was the UK not accepting flights or Thailand not accepting flights, but I remember that I wasn’t able to travel because now and again I’d have a sneaky look to see if I could get away for a bit.

It wasn’t all bad that I couldn’t get back anyway because even though Thailand was opening up, the UK was still in deep lockdown and every other day the rules would change there, so it was probably best that I couldn’t leave.

Her mood swings kept getting worse over the months, so I offered to take them on a little holiday to see her family and then visit her best friend that lives close by.

I thought maybe her being around family and friends would do a bit of help for her mood because right then nothing I did was helping.

Meeting Someone New While Away

While we were there, I got chatting to one of her cousins. He was a guy who had a boyfriend from the UK as well, but had no plans when they were going to meet again and he didn’t have a job.

I offered him to come live with me and Mint, and we would pay him while he is out of work to help out around the house, help with Mint’s moods, and of course help with the baby.

He was a genuinely sound bloke and amazing with the baby absolutely loved playing with our daughter. Honestly, he was a lifesaver, helped out with the cleaning and cooked meals too.

Not going to lie, I’m straight and into females, but I would have traded my girlfriend for him without a second thought. He was great.

That’s a joke by the way, but you know what I mean.

Finally Talking with Mint

Me and Mint finally had a talk and we decided that we would go to the UK in late 2020 as our baby hadn’t met any of my family yet and I wanted to introduce her and Mint to everyone back home.

We got all the papers sorted, had everything ready for us all to fly, and off we went. Maybe this was going to be a new start for us all.

Literally the second we landed in the UK, England went into another lockdown.

I lived next door to my sister and the same street as my mum, so we still had family around us, and my sister had kids of her own that would always make a fuss of my daughter.

Once lockdown started to end, my sister got an offer to be the landlady of a bar and become the owner of a new bar that would be opening soon.

Encouraging Her to Take the Opportunity

I told her to go for it and I would help with the new bar opening, and that’s what I did to make some extra money while Mint stayed at home with our daughter and sometimes my sister’s kids.

The problem is, while I was out helping out with the new job making extra money for our family, unknown to me, Mint was secretly back on gambling websites, slowly draining our money.

At first it was only small amounts so small that I didn’t even notice but then it became like 100 a day, which might not seem a lot, but I didn’t have money to burn, especially on gambling.

I did tell her to stop and tried to get it into her thick skull that she isn’t just wasting our money, but she’s wasting our daughter’s money as well money that we obviously needed for our future.

When Mint’s visa ran out, I think it was after something like six months, she went back to Thailand with our daughter and we agreed that I would stay in the UK as I would be able to make more money here rather than over in Thailand.

Working Extra Jobs in the UK

Here in the UK I had extra jobs that could make more money, but in Thailand I wasn’t legally allowed to work, even though I had been but online.

Mint didn’t change when she went back to Thailand. She was back living with her parents and every time I wanted to see our daughter on video call, it would be her mum that was looking after her.

I don’t think I ever saw Mint on video with our daughter. It’s like she just passed off all the responsibility to her mum.

She carried on gambling and kept asking me for more cash. I was already sending her 50,000 baht every month, and most months even more than that.

I told her there’s no way on this planet she needed more than that while living in Isan, but I sent extra anyway because I didn’t want my daughter missing out on anything she needed.

Becoming a Father Figure

Because I had really gotten into dad mode and really loved having a daughter, being away from her started to take its toll on me and I was really struggling not being able to hold her like I used to.

It had been about three months since they left and with Mint being shit at communication, it was rare that I would see my daughter. I was scared she would forget who I was.

I told Mint that I was ready to fly back to Thailand and be with them for a few months and we could go back to Chiang Mai.

That’s when she had to come clean. She told me that she had been gambling heavily and had to borrow money from some people you don’t really want to mess with. When she couldn’t pay them back, she sold most of the stuff I had bought for us.

TV, brand new appliances for the condo, and a brand new bike that I had purchased just before Covid.

Feeling Angry and Betrayed

I was obviously livid and bursting on the inside. I had been sending her 50 to 100 thousand baht every single month and on top of all that she had sold most of our stuff, and all of this was because of her stupid gambling.

Anyway, I landed in Thailand ready to take full control of the money and the whole situation. I paid off this new debt, got my bike back, and took over handling all the finances. I started limiting how much cash she could get her hands on because I knew she’d just blow it all gambling.

Obviously I did not want to be one of them controlling boyfriends that says what their girlfriend can and can’t do, but come on what other options did I have? She left me no choice. I had to put my foot down eventually.

Everything changed after that. She didn’t have access to all the money she used to have and her mood got even worse than before.

By this point, I put up with all of it for my daughter’s sake. I couldn’t leave my daughter alone with someone who was that unpredictable and angry.

Wishing I Could Go Back

If I could go back in time, I would probably have tried to convince Mint to let me take our daughter to the UK and she can stay in Thailand until she got herself sorted.

I guess I kind of just had this happy family fantasy running around my head. I wanted our daughter to grow up with both parents, so I wanted to make it work.

I did try my best to make it work. I did whatever I could and we did stick it out for a while. There were ups and a hell of a lot of downs sometimes nice, peaceful and loving, but most of the time absolute mayhem and chaos.

She ended up landing in more debt and this time I told her that I am not going to pay for it. She got herself into this mess again, she can get herself out of it without dragging me into it.

I told her that enough is enough now. Things need to change, and if she really wants to quit her habit that is ruining us financially and get her out of debt, we could move to the UK where she can get a proper job and earn some good money.

Making the Arrangement Temporary

I told her it can be temporary save as much as possible and then go back to Thailand debt free.

She was actually up for it and it sounded to me like she wanted a fresh start, so we applied for visas and had to stick around in Thailand waiting for them.

Although I hate what she put me and my daughter through, while we were waiting for the visas she did actually try to stop gambling and kept herself busy with other stuff.

A new start was part of my plan, but my main focus was just getting my daughter back to the UK because let’s say me and Mint split up while in Thailand or she completely lost it with me she could quite easily use my daughter as a weapon, and getting her to the UK would be impossible.

At least with them in the UK, if things did go pear shaped then I would have some legal right and it would work in my favour being in the UK rather than Thailand.

Returning to the UK

We finally made it back to the UK around May 2023, if I remember correctly, and Mint had permission to work.

The mood swings and temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her own way did keep happening, but a lot less because she knows that we aren’t in Thailand anymore she can’t run away to her family.

We are still living in the UK right now and I’m pretty much still only with her for our daughter’s sake. I think I fell out of love with her a long time ago, but my daughter means the absolute world to me, so if I have to put myself through hell to keep my daughter around, then so be it.

As for Mint gambling, I’m not sure if she still does it and if I’m honest, I don’t really care. Her money is her money. I don’t give her anything anymore.

Yes, I pay the bills and everything for our daughter, but I don’t and won’t give Mint any spending money, and she knows not to even ask me nowadays.

The Problems Continue

Also, for the past couple of years I have been documenting all of her mood swings and violent episodes, and audio recording them just in case things do end up going to court because at least once a month she will threaten to leave for Thailand and take our daughter.

So this is where I am, and that’s what I meant at the start about this being ongoing.

Not sure why I decided to share it with your channel, but I suppose it’s a change from most of the bar girl stories that have already come to an end for better or worse.

I guess I am looking for some advice but not sure how to ask. I dunno I’m stuck in this shitty situation living with someone I don’t actually want to be with, but I’m doing it for my daughter. When she’s a bit older, either her mum will get bored and piss off and leave us alone, or maybe she’ll find another clueless foreigner she can latch onto.

To be honest, she did used to be great with our daughter, but as the years went on you can clearly see she has lost interest in being a mum to her.

Wondering Why She Will Not Leave

I don’t know why she doesn’t just go back to Thailand on her own and leave us here in the UK.

But yeah, that’s my story, and that’s where I am.