Freelancers vs Bar Girls A Pattaya Experiment

I live and work in the north of Thailand teaching English at a school. I’m pretty happy and I live within my means. I don’t do anything dramatic and crazy here. I live off Thai food but once or twice a month I will eat something western. The area where I live feels really local and there is hardly any farang in my area unlike central Bangkok or Pattaya. 95% of the time when I go out for Thai food or have a beer in a bar here I am the only farang there. Like I mentioned I live within my means and budget.

So when the school semester ended I decided to go and have some fun for a little while. I know a Thai lady in central Bangkok. She is an older lady at 45 but she looks good for her age and takes good care of herself. I started my trip by visiting her. I gave her 1000 Baht a day and she lets me stay in her room with her. I stayed with her for two nights and gave her 2000 Baht. She takes good care of me when I go to see her. She makes good effort and it’s not just aerobics and that is it. She makes me breakfast in the morning shares her fruit with me she goes outside to get me food and she even cuts my toenails for me.

I don’t ask this lady to do anything for me but she just does it because she wants to which I think is nice because a lot wouldn’t do that.

When I left the lady in Bangkok I decided to head to Mo Chit and take a bus to Pattaya. I booked one week’s hotel in Pattaya staying very close to Soi Buakhao because I like that area best in Pattaya. I will be honest I’m not into the bar girl scene paying bar fines and lady drinks. I like to get freelancers and Pattaya is like being a kid in a candy shop for freelancers because there are thousands there. The way I see it is by the time I have bought several drinks lady drinks and paid for a bar fine I could get a freelancer for that cost alone.

When I arrived in Pattaya it was quite late. I messaged a freelancer that I had met on a previous trip. The freelancer was called Mam and she was 23. She arrived at my room within the hour and we had a nice time talking and aerobics. I gave her 1000 Baht. She was happy with that and she left in the morning.

When Mam left I fired up Thai Friendly and set my location to Pattaya. It is absolutely crazy firing up that app in Pattaya. All the freelancers come to you and message you first. But I also messaged other ones. The competition is fierce with the freelancers in Pattaya and I never pay more than 1500 Baht. If I was to offer 1500 Baht to 10 freelancers on there seven of the 10 would accept it. It is crazy because when I have been out and about in Pattaya I recognized so many faces that I had seen from Thai Friendly just randomly around without arranging to meet them or anything. I was even sat in a cafe Amazon across from Witherspoons down Soi Buakhao having a coffee one day and one of the women that came in to have a coffee I recognized from Thai Friendly.

Meeting a Freelancer

I arranged to meet the next freelancer at a bar to play pool and have a couple of beers. The next girl was from Chiang Mai. She was good fun. We had a great time. Remember when you are with these freelancers you are the one in control. I don’t take them anywhere expensive and it is entirely up to you where you take them to eat and drink etc. This girl did bring up going to Walking Street a couple of times but I’m not really into nightclubs and they are very expensive there. I just like the normal beer bars to have fun playing pool and having a couple of beers.

I also like the freelancers in Pattaya because most of the girls are actually happy to meet you early in the day and hang out with you. They don’t just come to your room for aerobics and go unless you want them to do that. Every freelancer I meet I have spent time going for a coffee and a walk along Beach Road for example. Even the ones where I have just paid for short time.

The next girl I got to meet me was called Ying and she was 28. I paid her 1200 Baht for her company but she met me early afternoon and we met for a coffee and just spent time talking and going for a walk along Beach Road. The aerobics were great but when finished I wanted to go for mu kratha. I offered to take her with me and we had a nice time having mu kratha. Then we parted ways.

I then met another freelancer the next day. I arranged to meet her at a bar to have a couple of beers and play pool again. We got on really well because we actually had a few things in common. So the conversation was great and she spoke decent English. I decided to take this girl for two nights long time and she was 28. We had a great time with good aerobics. I paid this girl 3000 Baht and I just took her to markets for food and she was happy with it. She even bought me food on one of the days. The third day I paid her but she said she might come back to my hotel and stay with me at no extra cost. She left me at 400 PM. I just went out for a walk. I had nice food from the market and a refreshing mango smoothie.

I also went for a Thai massage which was good and only 180 Baht. The massage was a good quality one and felt professional. It was a real massage shop and not the happy ending type of massage.

I decided to go back to my room and I received a message from the girl saying she is sorry but she cannot make it. It was no issue. It’s not like I paid her or anything for that day. I did want some action though. I messaged Ying around midnight and asked if she was still awake. Ying responded and I said to her ‘Would you take 1200 Baht and you can stay the night with me?’ She said yes. ‘Okay. Give me 30 minutes and I’ll be there.’ Ying arrived and she looked super hot because I had already spent time with her before. I just wanted to get straight into the action and she could see that. We had great aerobics both at night and in the morning. She was also very nice to talk to and she left at midday.

A Final Bar Girl Test

My last night in Pattaya and it proved to me why I’m just sticking to freelancers and not bothering with bar girls anymore. I thought ‘Right my last night here and you cannot come to Pattaya without getting a bar girl.‘ After being outside all day I went back to my room for a shower. Where my hotel was when you walked outside there was a bar directly across from where I walked outside the hotel. I saw a woman sat outside and she looked stunning. She was just sat in a bikini and I really liked the look of her. I don’t like to approach the first girl I see though so I took a walk around first. I had a couple of beers at LK Metro and then continued my search for somebody.

I took a walk down one of the side streets with bars and I saw a girl playing pool. She saw me lifted up her skirt and she looked so hot that I could not resist and I went into the bar. I got her one lady drink and we had a good chat and she was from Khon Kaen. She was really nice and funny. I asked her if I could bar fine her and take her out. She said she can go but she has to go and get her bag to show me something. The Khon Kaen girl came back five minutes later with her bag and she said ‘I can go but if you want anything I must tell you it’s that time of the month.’ And she showed me pads from her bag.

She said ‘Come back in 2 days and I will go with you to have fun.’ To be fair she didn’t have to tell me that and could have let me continue buying her lady drinks and nothing at the end of it. She asked if I wanted to stay and have one more drink but I said no. I took her Line ID and said we can arrange something next time I’m in Pattaya and she was okay with that.

I started to get hot and tired walking around and I decided to just call it a night because I had to get the bus back to Bangkok the next day. Anyway I headed back to my hotel and I saw the girl again across from my hotel in the bikini. I decided to approach her and she was 39 from Bangkok. Yeah Bangkok. And I’m aware a lot lie and just say Bangkok. And she was all sweet being polite constantly saying ‘khrap’ all the time for the duration I was in the bar with her. I decided to go inside the bar with her. And the next part of the conversation I found very funny and it was not your typical bar girl story to why she was there which I found interesting.

The first thing I noticed about her was that her English was excellent. I mean educated English excellent with no accent at all. I said to her ‘Where in Bangkok are you from?’ And she responded ‘I live in On Nut.’ I said ‘I don’t quite understand why you’re in Pattaya when Nana is just four or five stops on the BTS from where you live. Why don’t you just do this in Nana?’ She laughed and said ‘I cannot be seen doing this in Bangkok. I’m an international school teacher and if I’m ever seen doing this in Bangkok I would lose my job. So when the semester ends or when I get breaks from work I come to Pattaya for work.’ I found this very funny and something I had not heard before from a bar girl.

I explained I was getting the bus back to Mo Chit the following day and she was also going back to Bangkok the following day also and she showed me her pre booked bus ticket with the date and the time on it. I think I got her three lady drinks in total and I asked her how much the bar fine was. She told me the bar fine was 1200 Baht and I almost spat my drink out because even in Bangkok it’s not that expensive and the surrounding area was dead. She said after midnight it was 800 Baht and I just decided I cannot be bothered to go walking around again. So I waited until midnight. The total bill for drinks and bar fine was 1500 Baht. I saw the bill and again inside I am just thinking I could have got a freelancer long time for that cost alone.

Agreeing the Money

And that is before I agreed her money. We both agreed on 1500 Baht for her cost.

I then took her to LK Metro because I like the bars around there. Once we went into the next bar I saw a change in her. The sweet polite girl had disappeared and she turned boring just sat on her phone all the time. She said ‘We will go to one more bar for a drink and then go back to your room.’ The next bar just on her phone again. And even back in my room she just on her phone. She let me touch her and things but there was zero effort. And I could see she didn’t want to do anything and that put me off and dampened my mood. I had quite a few to drink and it was 400 AM.

At this point I just said ‘It’s okay I will wake up in the morning and we can have aerobics.’ Then before I even got a chance to wake up and have aerobics in the morning she woke me up at 800 AM holding her stomach and said ‘My period just come. I have to go.’ I know this is a complete lie and excuse to leave without having to do anything. She just left and I assume because she left and didn’t want to do anything that is why she didn’t ask me for money.

I checked out of the hotel and headed to Pattaya bus terminal. I then received a message on the Line app from her saying ‘You forgot to pay me money.’ I laughed at myself and thought ‘Money for what exactly?’ She did not want to do anything. I had already checked out of the hotel so there was no comeback on me. She just thought she could accumulate easy money out of me while making zero effort and I just blocked her and didn’t send her anything.

I have heard this is becoming more common with bar girls if they have made so much money on lady drinks or have sponsors then they have no interest in actually doing anything else. I have talked with others that I know and bar girls are becoming a bit of a gamble these days and they’re a mixed bag. Just because you have bar fined a bar girl it doesn’t necessarily mean you are guaranteed any action still. I have been with bar girls while here on holiday in the past and never had an issue. But I’ve also heard about my latest situation becoming common now. In future I am just sticking to my theory about freelancers and it also works out much cheaper than going with a bar girl and still have great times without all the lady drinks and bar fines.

It is not the most thrilling of stories but thought I would share a story about my recent trip. It is not a crash and burn story and I just treat everything for what it is. I don’t get attached or have any feelings but I just treat it for what it is which is pay to play. I had a really good time apart from the slightly sour ending. Keep up the good work Peter and hopefully you enjoy the story.

Story Two A Short Story of Finding Love in Isaan

When I was younger I always dreamed of having an Asian wife and eventually retiring somewhere in Asia. I looked seriously at China and Vietnam while Thailand was always near the bottom of my list because of its reputation for adult entertainment if you know what I mean. The Philippines never really interested me at all. After a failed attempt at building a relationship in Vietnam I ended up going to Thailand on the rebound. There I met a woman from Suphan Buri. Looking back the warning signs were everywhere. Red flags all over the place. And after returning to the States I ended the relationship. Even so something unexpected happened. I completely fell in love with Thailand itself.

I continued talking to other women in Thailand and eventually met someone I will call May. She was very kind easy to talk to and refreshingly honest from the start. She openly told me that she wanted a foreign boyfriend because she had debts to pay. She worked as a civil servant and told me her son was a police officer while her daughter was married to a military officer. She lived with her daughter and at that point I knew very little about Thai culture. Looking back now I realized just how naive I was.

Around the same time I met another woman in the city where her son worked. We spoke for a long time often without saying very much at all. But one day she suddenly told me she had to stop talking to me. After that I turned my attention back to May. I still remember waking up one Sunday night and suddenly realizing she was the one for me. I told her very clearly that I would never send money until we met in person. And to her credit she accepted that. We spoke for years including nearly two years through COVID. And during that time we slowly worked through our cultural differences. At times it was difficult. Misunderstandings happened and there were moments when things felt frustrating. But somehow we always found a way through it.

By the time I finally arrived in Thailand to meet her properly the question was no longer if we would get married but when. We married at the temple in her home village surrounded by family friends and what felt like the whole community. I remember people tying strings around our wrists countless times probably close to 50 as part of the traditional Thai wedding blessing. It was clear to me how respected and loved May was in her village. And seeing that meant a lot to me.

I can honestly say I came to Thailand looking for a wife not for fun. I’ve only ever been to Pattaya bars once and that was simply to speak to a bar girl out of curiosity. The truth is the biggest difference between many of the bar girls and my wife is education. Deep down I think people are often more ‘same same’ in heart than many foreigners realize.

After our temple wedding we later made everything official at the government office. While we were waiting May casually wondered if I might be able to help her get healthcare through me even though she was already a civil servant. As it turned out I receive free outpatient healthcare just like she does. And beyond that healthcare costs in Thailand are generally very affordable. Anyway there is also another side of Thailand that many foreigners rarely hear about. My wife is a devoted Buddhist and strongly believes in making merit. She regularly gives to the temple helps family and supports friends whenever she can. I respect that deeply and always make sure she has the means to be generous. What surprised me is the kindness has a way of coming back around in Thailand.

Life With an Isaan Family

Because of her generosity friends and family are forever bringing us gifts dropping off food or helping us in ways we never asked for. Half the time we have more food in the house than we know what to do with.

Then there is family life. My wife has a son and a daughter and while they may not be my children my blood I love them as if they were my own. Some Western guys might struggle to understand that. But when you marry into a Thai family you often marry into the whole family. And for me that is something I fully embraced. My wife and I are always there to help the children when needed. And in return they are always there for us too. That support extends to the grandchildren as well. And over time what started as me searching for a wife in Thailand turned into gaining a whole family.

Story Three A Typical Night and Day in Bangkok

Last summer I woke up in a bed with a ladyboy. We did some exercise and then I crashed out again with the sun shining brightly through the window. It was hot and sweaty and there was no air conditioner but a large fan standing in the corner. I had no real recollection of how I got there but vaguely recalled being in Nana Plaza most likely a go go bar. After sleeping an hour I woke up. I didn’t want to leave in case I owed her money. Anyway she raised her arm up to stop me trying to wake her and she hid under the blankets so I just let myself out.

I walked out into the Sukhumvit noise and sunshine. I really needed a cup of coffee so I stopped at the first coffee shop I saw. I ordered my coffee and sat down. I scrolled through my phone and there were lots of photos from the night before. Some of them were outside of Nana Plaza on the street with two ladyboys. I finished my coffee and I headed for my hotel which was about 1 mile away. I decided to call in for a massage as I felt really rough. The massage was amazing and I slept through most of it but I now felt refreshed.

I got to my hotel and it was just before noon so off to the pool area I went. After the pool I was so hungry I headed to Soi 11 for some local food. I had a prawn red curry with rice and two beers. I could feel the heat from the sun on my face. It felt great to be in Bangkok again after a long spell in the Middle East which is where I work. I walked to a beer garden and sat in the sun with my shades on and had a few beers.

I went for a walk near Soi 4 and picked up a really cute freelancer and she took me to her place in a tuk tuk. It was very small but a tidy room. The exercises we did were amazing. She was super friendly and super hot. I stayed there just over an hour. We left together and had a cold beer on Soi 4 but I decided I wanted to wander elsewhere. I ended up near Soi Cowboy a place I do not usually visit. However it was early but fairly busy. I had more beers and watched a live band in the pub on the corner of Cowboy. Can’t recall its name though. It was around 1000 PM now. I was flagging really tired.

I walked to a small bar restaurant on the edge of Soi Cowboy and had chicken fried rice to put some carbs back into my system. I needed that food as the night had only just begun. This is a typical night and day when I’m in Bangkok. I usually stay for about 4 days before heading to Phuket. But when I’m in Bangkok this is how I roll. I never take girls or ladyboys back to my room. I always go to their place if possible. I like to keep my secrets at the hotel I stay at. Bangkok is beautiful and having fun there is to be had. Lovely people treat them nice and they treat you better.

Story Four An Instruction Manual on What Not to Do in Pattaya

I was going through a divorce so desperately needed some R&R. I had been going to Pattaya once before with a previous Thai girlfriend I met in Australia. The Thai girlfriend and I split up or so I thought. More on this later. So I thought to myself divorce nearly done Thai girlfriend gone. Time to go to Pattaya and have a good time. A 9 hour flight from Sydney Australia and here I was in Bangkok.

First mistake didn’t get a pink or yellow and green taxi to Pattaya downstairs on the first floor. I was approached by a number of touts but managed to ward them off as I asked for 3000 Baht for the trip. Luckily for me a Pattaya regular took pity on me and said ‘Get a taxi downstairs.’ To which the tout replied ‘Okay I will take you to Pattaya for 2000 Baht.’ I confirmed again with him that was all I would pay is 2000 Baht. And he agreed. We then walked to the multi story car park. I knew something wasn’t right but my fears were relieved somewhat when a gleaming new minivan pulled up being driven by a beautiful Thai girl who could speak perfect English. Another warning sign I missed. I should have ran then and there.

I got in the van and thought ‘Things are looking up.’ I couldn’t believe my luck.

Then a few minutes later her mobile started ringing and her English changed to Thai. All of a sudden I’m being told ‘Pattaya a long way. You need to change car.’ The van then starts heading down all these side streets into a grubby part of town. ‘Oh no’ I thought ‘how could I have been so naive? Now I am going to get robbed and wake up with one less kidney.’ Then the van pulled into a car park full of dodgy looking cars driven by equally looking dodgy characters. I was told to get out of the van and go into a clapped out old Volvo with some Indian guy. I protested but was quickly surrounded by a lot of these characters and I thought that I had better shut up now. Then the Thai cutie says ‘You have to pay 800 Baht extra.’ ‘No I don’t. The guy told me 2000.

Call him and check’ I replied. She apparently calls him and then says ‘No he said you have to pay 2800.’ I protest again as I realize I’m being ripped off. And then she says ‘You have to pay 800 or I have to pay him 800.’ Stupid me completely naive again feels sorry for the girl so I pay the 800. What an idiot. I can’t believe that I was so stupid and was conned so easily. This was only my third visit to Thailand. We have all made the same mistakes I’m sure. But my ordeal doesn’t end there. I still have two more occasions to be ripped off yet.

Finally the car starts to move. And boy am I glad to finally get out from that place. The drive to Pattaya is uneventful except the driver takes back roads that I’ve never seen before and comes into Pattaya from the back. ‘Where’s the beach?’ I think. Then my heart starts racing again. I’m going to be robbed. Another kidney etc. So I started to freak out remembering all the stories from ‘Banged Up Abroad’ a TV series from back home. I tell the guy to stop the car now. He does and luck would have it right outside the VC Hotel not far from Walking Street. Silly me of course doesn’t realize that I’m so close to Beach Road that I should have been able to smell the cheap perfume from there and I wonder where the hell I am.

Trouble With a Driver

The driver says that he will get a good price for me at the hotel. Conned again come in spinner. I accept the deal as I just want to get out of the car but needless to say I’ve probably just paid for his kids’ last three years at high school with this deal. I check into my room. Not bad. ‘Would sir like an upgrade for an extra 300 Baht?’ Yes sir would like an upgrade. Conned again that probably paid for his kid’s dental work too.

I go for a walk and finally managed to find Beach Road. Things are improving. Walking along minding my own business this beautiful girl starts smiling at me. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked. ‘Waiting for you’ she replies. She said ‘I go with you.’ ‘Go where?’ I said stupidly not believing my luck. ‘Your room can drink together.’ After a bit more small talk we went back to my hotel for drinks. Once again being so naive I couldn’t find my way back to the hotel after hopping on two baht buses those pickup trucks with the two rows of seats that you hop on and off for 10 Baht a trip. Completely frustrated by this time I just end up getting a taxi and end up paying 100 Baht. And of course no meter ripped off again. But I didn’t care as I just wanted some nice female company.

No stopping at the front desk to pay a joiner fee or show her ID card. Luckily for me this girl was legit or I would have been in trouble again. I was later to find out that paying the joiner fee is a good investment as protection for both you and the girl. She is watched over by hotel staff in case you are some kind of nut job who wants to hurt her. Anyway she was great company and we ended up getting drunk together in my room. I called the girl a number of times and we met up and had fun together around the bars. My new Beach Road girlfriend asks ‘How come you know some Thai?’ I told her that I used to have a Thai girlfriend in Australia. ‘No problem’ she says.

‘I be your girlfriend now.’ I thought to myself ‘Thank you to my ex wife for the divorce.’ But all good things must come to an end. And reluctantly I had to head back to Sydney and finalize the divorce and the usual mundane exercise of going to work to make money and pay it to the ex wife.

On arrival in Sydney my ex Thai girlfriend calls ‘Where are you? I need to see you.’ I said ‘But aren’t we broken up?’ ‘No’ she says. ‘Why would you think that?’ I said ‘No reason just that we haven’t seen each other for months after our disagreement and you moved out.’ Anyway as I still liked her I was happy to get back with her.

A few days later she drove from where she lived in the country to my house to surprise me. When I came home from work as she still had a key she surprised me. All right she decided to unpack my bag from Thailand and wouldn’t you know it found Beach Road girlfriend’s number. Of course she rang it. ‘Hello who are you?’ Beach Road Girlfriend says ‘I’m Ross’ girlfriend.’ Real Thai girlfriend says ‘But hasn’t he got a Thai girlfriend in Australia?’ ‘No that girl not good lady. I’m girlfriend now.’ She says ‘Be girlfriend.’ I had no idea this was going on till I get a call from my Beach Road girlfriend I just get a call from a very nice Thai lady in Australia who’s going to help me be your girlfriend. I was mortified.

Jealousy and Trouble

I knew my Australian Thai girlfriend was incredibly jealous and I would be in for it when I got home. She yelled and screamed and made a hell of a scene. After she cooled down she demanded to see photos of this girl. I said there weren’t any photos but there were but thankfully I hid them. Then she demanded that I get a new camera as ‘you cannot take photos of me with the same camera that you used for another girl.’ ‘What photos? There aren’t any photos’ I said. A few days later I thought I had better get those hidden photos and destroy them. I waited until my Australian Thai girlfriend had a shower. I looked and looked for the photographs but couldn’t find them. They were nowhere to be found. Girlfriend gets out of the shower and surprises me. ‘What are you looking for?’ ‘Nothing’ I say sheepishly.

Next day same thing. When girlfriend hits the shower I start looking for the photos. Sprung again. ‘Looking for something?’ The gig was up so I came clean. Yes the photos. Girlfriend said ‘Yes there were photos and I saw them. That girl is younger and prettier than me. So jealous. Photos are gone. I cut them up and I put them in all different bins around the street. You’ll never find them.’

But it didn’t end there. She rang Beach Road girlfriend and said ‘Don’t ever call my boyfriend again or I will come to Pattaya to see you.’ After a few weeks I thought things had calmed down until I get out of the shower and I find my Australian girlfriend on my phone to Beach Road girlfriend saying ‘How come you answer phone? I told you not to talk to my boyfriend again. I ring on his phone to see if you answer. You shouldn’t answer.’

The moral of this story is don’t ever write down a Thai girl’s number and bring it home with you. And also don’t take photos of other Thai girls unless you have a grade 10 secure wall safe. The good news to this story is that I got married to the Australian Thai girlfriend after my divorce was finalized and we have been happily married now for many years. Even to this day she occasionally says ‘I still have her number and I will call her again.’