The Go Go Girl Experience

This story is about two Thai women one a go go bar girl and one a normal Thai girl along with some other funny encounters I experienced on my first two week trip to Thailand.

To start I would like to introduce myself. I am a 39-year-old single farang from America. Now my mom would say I’m a catch but I would say that I might quite possibly be above average mostly due to a fitness journey that I have been on for the past two years. As a recovered fatty I can attest to the mental benefits as well as making dating feasible in the West. I should also mention that I am a fairly well off engineer which might have played the largest role in my Thailand experience.

I had been planning an international trip for quite some time. The intention was to go on the trip solo to finally let loose and unplug from the day-to-day. I’m not an awkward guy and I can spark up a conversation with anyone and I figured I would break away from the mundane life I had been living for so many years in hopes to open my eyes to the world outside of the bubble that I created. Good luck.

Now before my trip I spent countless hours watching content like yours Dan to prepare myself for the games to come. Those hours flew by as I found yours and other content creators’ YouTube videos very entertaining as well as very informative. To my surprise the games played by these Thai girls didn’t just happen often but every time like clockwork.

Now let’s fast forward to December and I had finally made the leap. My trip began with a week in Bangkok followed by another week in Pattaya. I want to emphasize that at no point was I looking for a girlfriend. I planned to monger my way through the bar scene with a different girl every night. You can probably guess that it didn’t go exactly as planned.

Anyway my first night in Bangkok got a little sidetracked. I ended up falling asleep in the hotel until 2 a.m. and missed out on Nana which I’m still kicking myself about. Instead I decided to hit a couple of bars and clubs in the Sukhumvit area completely sober whilst the rest of the city was well on their way to a memorable night.

The Go Go Girl Experience Begins

My first stop was one of the Hillary bars to grab a beer. Very early in my arrival a rather older lady swooped in for a lady drink. As this was my first encounter I said “Why not?” and proceeded to have a drink with the lady. While not a huge mistake I do regret buying her a drink as she continued to follow me around for the next hour in hopes for more transactions. Unfortunately for me I ended up being cock blocked by this lady when there were so many attractive young hotties ready to christen my holiday.

The lesson learned here is to say no if you’re not interested as it may give these ladies the wrong idea.

After I got out of there I just walked up and down Sukhumvit for another drink or two without finding a suitable mate. Once back in the hotel I took matters into my own hands no not what you’re thinking and I tried my luck with the infamous Thai Friendly. Instead of taking my time I quickly called a girl and she was on her way to my hotel. But she got there a little too quickly for my comfort.

I was staying in a suite at a well-known hotel right in the Nana area and her getting to my door in a matter of minutes led me to believe she was working on the corner. This made me uneasy and I did not want to follow through with it. In addition to that I saw something very strange about this woman it was her feet. She was a woman in her 20s with the feet of a 70 year old woman. They were much darker than the rest of her body and wrinkled like a nut sack.

To get out of the situation I made up an excuse that I needed to leave and help out a drunk friend. I paid her for the short time and got her or him the hell out of here. This concludes a bust of a first night in the Land of Smiles.

The Go Go Bar

Onto the next day go go time. Now you can use your imagination on how the next few nights went for an American who regularly spent 15,000 to 20,000 baht a night in a go go bar.

Anyway after trying a few bars on Nana I found a bar that stood out from the rest in terms of quality of women and staff. But then again when you buy the server and mamasan as many drinks as the ladies you tend to get the pseudo VIP treatment. I’m very aware of the optics here as I never forgot that money is what brings the smiles in this type of atmosphere.

In any case after test driving a couple of girls on night two and three on the fourth night the whale had arrived. Back to the familiar bar receiving hugs from the mamasan and the servers. They made sure to have my regular booth available and they quickly assisted me in getting the company of my choosing.

There was this one girl that caught my eye on a number of occasions during the drunken nights prior we’ll call her Sam. She’s very cute not like the typical Instagram look that the majority of these girls go for. The one thing that stood out about Sam was how much she was enjoying herself compared to the other girls in the bar.

Sam was brought over and of course admits that she was hoping we got together for the obvious reasons and we proceeded to drink and have a good time. It didn’t take long before Sam started to say the typical lines to try and melt the farang heart. All of the lines “You’re different from the rest” “You’re the only one who treats me with respect” and of course “handsome man.

Now at this point you just roll with it if you know how the game is played. After a few hours Sam and I left for the bar next door where her friend was working. What was special about Sam was how much more fun she was than just about every other girl in this bar as well. While drinking in the second bar she is dancing on me like a wild animal. All of the other customers in the bar were staring at me with jealousy while they were paying the same price for their dead fish.

A Night in Bangkok

The wild night continued and we made our way back to the hotel and that’s when the games came on pretty thick. Now I’m not sure if this happens regularly but Sam hits me with “I love you” and “I want your babies” and that was before the room service was even delivered. I told her she doesn’t love me and we barely know each other.

Thinking back I should have asked her to leave right then and there and just take the financial loss but I did not. I continued the night and the bar girl lines just kept on coming. Apparently her mom is sick and she hates working in the bar but is forced to do so to keep the family afloat. I didn’t say this to Sam but based on my observations of her in both of the go go bars she absolutely loves working in the go go scene and was born for it.

The night ended as you would expect but to my surprise the games ended that night. I suppose Sam took her shots and moved on fairly quickly for a girl who was allegedly in love with me a few hours earlier.

Now I want to reiterate that every encounter I had at this point included an attempt to extract a long term sponsorship. This was expected to some extent but I’m honestly a little disappointed that the games occur 100% of the time. As a follow up we exchanged Line IDs and kept in touch for a week or two. I haven’t blocked her but also haven’t responded to any of her messages for two months yet she still messages me often.

Pattaya and The Bank Girl

Now after more of the same in Bangkok I set out for Pattaya. I know it’s pretty much the same environment but something about Pattaya lit the spark again. To no one’s surprise the first couple of nights were eerily similar to Bangkok.

At this point I was experiencing some party fatigue as I was on the back end of a 7-day bender. I took a step back from the drinking as there was more to explore in Pattaya during the daytime. During this time I had met a girl at a bank that hadn’t materialized yet more to come on that story as this is girl number two.

In any case the short break from the drinking was nice but it didn’t take long to jump back on the go go wagon. Just like in Bangkok I found a bar that best fit what I was looking for. In this particular bar I ended up becoming decent friends with the mamasan as my spending habits haven’t changed. I guess it’s easier to make friends in a bar.

I wanted to briefly talk about this story because I find it quite funny. While in the bar and sitting next to the mamasan a girl whose company I enjoyed earlier that night for short time decides to join me for a drink out of nowhere. The girl whispers into my ear “I love you.” Shocking I know.

Unfortunately for this girl the mamasan overheard and proceeded to yell at the girl in front of a crowded bar. She then followed up by kicking her out of my company and back on stage to dance with a big frown on her face.

Now advice to every man enjoying the fruits of a Thailand bar it pays off to make friends with the staff. I admittedly went overboard with my generosity but a drink or two for the bar authorities can go a long way.

More Thailand Lessons

Back to the story though I enjoyed the show. I also suspected that the mamasan had something up her sleeve but I didn’t stick around Pattaya long enough to see it through. The mamasan had told me that she was just about to graduate from a business school and was planning on opening her own bar in the near future. Something tells me that she might have been looking for investors. In all honesty if I was to ever open a bar in Pattaya she might be the first person that I’d call.

Now moving on this leads me to my last four days in Thailand where I met a “good girl” with a normal job.

Part Two The Bank Girl Patty

Before I get into that I want to provide the backstory as to how we met. While in Bangkok I attempted to use an ATM machine near my hotel. Maybe I’m just an idiot but I was having trouble retrieving the money. My first attempt indicated that the transaction was successful but no money came out. My second attempt with a smaller amount was successful but only provided 4000 and not the 5000 baht that was requested.

Now to my relief the first attempt was reversed back into my bank in a matter of minutes but I was still short changed on the second attempt. Now on a side note while struggling with the ATM a ladyboy attempted to help me out and of course requested a tip.

After this debacle I decided to pursue different methods of retrieving money overseas. So I met girl number two at the unsaid bank in Pattaya we’ll call her Patty.

Now I first saw Patty working behind the glass. She was very beautiful all natural with no tattoos. I was second in line as she was helping another customer and seemed very sweet to the customer that did not speak Thai. Once it was my turn she was equally sweet with me. As for our first meeting that was that. I completed the transaction and I left.

Now a few days later I needed to re-up on funds so I made my way back to the same unsaid bank. Once there Patty saw me in line and gave me a big smile and waved hello even though she was working with another customer.

The third time I needed more money I made my way back to the unsaid bank and this time I asked her to dinner. And she said yes.

What Happened Next

Now at this point in my holiday I did not care if the date led to sex. In all honesty I was spent and did not feel like mongering for at least one night. As for Patty she appeared to be in her early 30s or late 20s and my first thought was maybe this will be different with a girl that may be more mature and in my age range.

Anyway the following night we met at a nice hotel restaurant for dinner. I chose a hotel that I was not staying at to make sure I didn’t give her the wrong impression. The dinner was nice and I could tell that she didn’t eat at classy places like this often. For example we both ordered some nice fruity cocktails to start. Once she got comfortable she then ordered a large beer and proceeded to drink me under the table red flag.

Another indicator that she was new to luxury was that she wanted to come off classy and attempted to eat her French fries with a knife and fork green flag. The night went well from there and ended up back at my hotel room per her request. I did recognize this red flag as I understood that good Thai girls would not typically do this.

Now we move forward with a fun nightcap and I can say that the aerobics was much better than that of a bar girl. My faulty thought was that she must really be into me when compared to the transactions that preceded the week before. What also crossed my mind was that Patty may have been a little too good in the sack to be this innocent “good Thai girl.” Also keep in mind that Patty knew how much money I was withdrawing in such a short duration of time.

To continue Patty and I spent the next few days together enjoying each other’s company which usually included luxury dinners and plenty of aerobics that were almost exclusively initiated by her. I should also note that on the day of my departure I gave her my leftover cash which was a reasonably large sum. Now I am aware I could have exchanged it for US dollars but I didn’t. Quite possibly my first mistake as I’m starting to realize this introduced money into the relationship before it had even begun.

Things went great and we decided to keep in touch when I returned home.

The Long Distance Relationship Begins

Once back in America we continued to video call two times a day. For the most part the conversations were fun flowing and lasted for hours but unfortunately this was just in the beginning. At this point in the relationship I was open to a long term relationship if things progressed well.

I also want to say that I made it clear to Patty that I think money corrupts relationships and that I would block her if money interfered. I acknowledged the hypocrisy as I had already crossed that line and unfortunately I did not follow through with my own words.

Now the first hiccup happened when I wanted to do something nice for her birthday. I bought her a $200 online gift card for a language learning app so that she could improve her English. At around that same time she had just planned a trip to visit her family back home in Isan. Also at around that same time she had a new gold necklace and said that she paid for it herself for the first time and was very proud of that achievement. Of course my spidey sense was tingling.

The night before the Isan trip we had a video call and she was very excited to go home. The call ended right before I turned in for the night. The next morning I woke up to a bunch of messages and screenshots of her attempting to deposit the gift card into her bank account. I then called her to find out what the problem was. Apparently the problem was me and she blamed me for not having the funds to travel back home.

Now this phone call ended with me hanging up on her and going to work. She attempted to call me again where she just stared at me looking upset. In the next few hours before our next call I was able to return the gift card for a full refund. Then on our next call Patty apologized for her behavior and accepted that her vacation was cancelled. She was obviously very sad and didn’t try to hide it.

She also expressed that she didn’t want to mention money to me because she thought I would block her and that is why she was upset. At this point it all checked out. So Mr. White Knight steps in and decides to send her the $200 to continue her holiday as planned.

The Isan Trip and the Gift Card

Now I found out roughly a month after that she sold her necklace to also pay for the trip to Isan. When I found this out I probed Patty with questions to find out why she needed $200 when she had just sold her necklace for about $400. The only answer that I got was that she spent it all $600 on her family. I don’t know. Maybe.

The Breakup Threat

Now Patty and I spoke quite a bit for the week or so while she was in Isan. All was good until the last day where she ran out of money. During this call Patty doesn’t ask me for any money and this time I do not offer.

Later that night I get a long message from Patty breaking off the relationship. The message reads that I should find someone better and so on. I believe my response caught her off guard with just an “Okay that is your decision and I will respect your decision.

Patty then tells me that she has decided she wants to go and work in a bar to make more money because she is frustrated with being broke. She says there is a customer from the unsaid bank that has offered her a job at his bar.

So I explain to her that this man does not care about her and only wants to use her for her body. I tell her she will have to sleep with old guys and it will change her personality and her life forever. I reiterate that once she does this type of work it will be hard for her to find a good man in the future and at her age (29) she will waste away her fertility years and will probably never have a family.

She concludes the message with a “bye” and I think it is over with her now. At this point I am relieved because this conversation seemed like a modified version of the typical bar girl’s threat pay them a monthly salary or they will continue to work in the bar. I should have blocked Patty after this one but I did not.

And guess who calls me the next morning? Patty.

Patty Returns to the Relationship

Patty and I talked for quite a while about what was said in the messages from the night before. She apologizes to me and wants to continue with the long distance relationship while continuing to work at the bank. After all she may have been thinking that I could provide a better lifestyle than what a bar girl can typically cultivate on her own.

Before I agree and I do eventually agree I explained to her that the threat displayed last night was a common bar girl tactic used to manipulate foreign men. I tell her that I have no plans to become a sponsor and the relationship feels like it is going in that direction. At this point I am getting fatigued by these games and I tell Patty that I will block her if she fails to communicate with me. I tell her I do not plan on having any more angry calls.

Now that being said Patty says she is completely out of money and needs a small amount of money to get back to Pattaya.

Now it’s water under the bridge for now and I still help out Patty and continue with the relationship.

More Red Flags

Over the course of a month Patty and I continue the way we had earlier on. During our conversations topics of our pasts and past relationships came up. As beautiful as Patty is she claims she hasn’t had a man for four years since graduating from university. She said that she gets approached often but always rejects men.

Of course I’m skeptical as she can’t be the only beautiful Thai girl in Pattaya not getting laid. I honestly do not believe her but I haven’t exactly been straight forward with her about my escapades from my previous Thailand holiday. Now I can move on from this as we are both adults and expect that she’s had casual relationships like me.

Now what does hold me up and I’ve expressed this to her is if she’s ever worked in a bar. From the conversation we had when she was in Isan it feels like a girl who was entertaining turning to the bar scene at 29 has more than likely been there before. Anyway I’ll never get the truth out of her if that’s the case.

To my knowledge Patty is honest with me. She informs me that when men hit on her which happens on a daily basis (I can’t count the number of times we will be on the phone and a foreigner will ask her to get a drink) she always respectfully declines. But I worry how long this will last. I even attempted to break it off with her as there is no point putting each other’s lives on hold for an unlikely successful relationship. Now to be honest I still feel that way but Patty has convinced me to go with the wind for the moment.

After the relationship seemed to be going in the right direction hidden landmines kept popping up.

More recently we were talking about exercise and how she would like to start working out because I always tell her how much better she will feel. She seems to be excited about the idea but expresses she needs gym shoes and gym clothes before she can start and as expected she doesn’t have the money and claims that she will not exercise without them.

The Cost of Help

Now from my perspective the way she said it felt like an ultimatum to end the call. I told her that something she said crossed a boundary of mine. I stopped the conversation to see if she would connect the dots. The next day we spoke and she was still confused about what my problem was. So I had to explain to her that what she said came off like she won’t do something I would like her to do unless she gets something out of it. I told her that if she is really dedicated to exercising go in your room you could do it barefoot and butt naked.

After a few days we were talking and she brought up that she is concerned about her acne. I mentioned that I had acne in my teens and was able to permanently clear the acne with some medication. Patty was obviously interested and suggested she would seek medical attention. The next day after the doctor’s consultation the doctor quoted her 15000 baht which was significantly more than what I remember paying.

Patty tells me that the treatment includes oral medication facial scrub appointments and laser treatment for the scars. I felt roped in though I now realize I could have said no and ended up agreeing to help her out.

The next day I thought about the situation at hand and came to my senses that a habit was starting to form when she has a problem with money she turns to me to fix it. Are you stupid or something? So far the issues haven’t been too extreme but it’s still concerning.

After having this realization I began writing a large text to her stating that the relationship was becoming transactional and moving in the wrong direction. I had decided to break it off with her but she called me midway through before I could send the message. Now over a video call I told her everything that was on my mind and she said that she understood. All be damned if Thai girls don’t have a way with keeping men but I was back baby.

The Night Out and The Thai Man’s Call

Aside from the money there were a couple of other small issues. As previously stated Patty can easily find a man on any given day. One night Patty decides to go out with her girlfriends. This was no problem as she would typically call me a couple of times throughout the night and then call me when she got home. I appreciated this as it gave me a peace of mind that nothing nefarious was going on. I’m also aware of the dreaded Thai boyfriend but the amount of time we talked each day which is usually first thing in the morning and 12:00 to 2:00 a.m. Thai time I feel comfortable that this is not the case.

Anyway on this specific evening Patty said she would call me later that night which she did not. I sent her one message early in the evening which went unread until 1100 a.m. Thai time the next day. Now I’m no fool and know that all women around the world keep their phones glued to their hands. Also when she called me the next morning the first thing she said without me asking was that she spent the night at her friend’s apartment.

Maybe this is my paranoia but I think someone who feels a need to defend where they stayed last night may be hiding something. She claimed that she got really drunk and needed to be taken care of. I confronted her and told her what I thought. I asked what she would think if I went out partying ignored her and could not respond until late the next day. I also reminded her that this is exactly how our first date went and I had some suspicions.

Now I am not a ladies’ man but I have been in enough relationships to know that small changes in behavior usually speak volumes. I don’t want to come off as controlling as we are not in an official relationship but I am nearing my limit with her.

The night out happened on a Monday. Now on Saturday while she is working we are enjoying a video call. During our calls she puts me on hold to take another call. She proceeds to tell me that the other call was a Thai man that she had given her number to. She claims that she gave it to him so they can communicate over a large bank transfer. When the Thai man came into the bank earlier that day he allegedly offered 10000 baht for her to meet his client a new foreign bar owner. The reason for the call was to increase the offer to 20000 baht. She said that she declined the offer.

Nothing suspicious yet as I’m thinking she would have kept the secret if she was interested in taking the offer. Anyway I decided to play with this information to probe more details out of her. I tell her that if she wants to go she can go. Now after the fact she claims she was joking but I have my doubts. But she answered me with “Okay maybe I will go then.

The Thai Man’s Offer

The Thai man calls back and she says he wanted to confirm. So I tell her he would only be calling to confirm if you said yes or at least a maybe to the first phone call inquiry. I know that her English is a work in progress and she said she did not mean to say confirm but rather ask again.

I then ask her “Why is she giving her number to a man that wants to sell her body to a client of his? Why didn’t you give the Thai man your work line for business matters?” I didn’t really get an answer.

And at this point in the relationship I am not angry. I’ve always said that love takes years and that I would move slowly in this relationship. I would not marry a woman until 5 years of knowing her and would not marry into a long distance relationship. For me the relationship is not defined as it is only been two months. For her she has always expressed that I am her boyfriend and she wants to marry me.

I proceed to tell her that she should do what she wants and to not let a foreigner across the globe hold her back. I tell her it’s her decision to do what makes her happy and if she wants to go she should go. If the answer is yes then we should not be in any kind of relationship. If she wants to go and chooses not to we should not be in a relationship. I ask “How can someone who would entertain this idea feel that they are ready for marriage?” I really wanted her to think about this and ended the call to go to sleep.

Now the next morning for me (1045 p.m. Thai time) Patty wants me to call her when I wake up. I called her 5 minutes later but she did not answer. She didn’t call me back until 2:00 a.m. My first thought is of course she went to the bar to meet the Thai man’s client. I don’t know how else to explain it. Patty said she went to sleep after she sent me the message thinking that I would not wake up until 2:00 a.m. Thai time due to not having work the following day.

The Air Conditioner Incident

Now after about a week or so we no longer talk about it though I haven’t forgotten and we continue as we have been in the past.

During our next call Patty is exercising in her apartment and lets me know how hot her room is. I suggest that she look into getting a portable air conditioner and she thinks it is a good idea and later goes to the store to inquire. On our next call she provides me some quotes which are all in the excess of 20000 baht. I suggest that she look online because my research shows that cheaper units can be had for half the price.

Now for some reason this makes her angry and she turns into a completely different person. She did not ask me to pay for it but I think she was upset that I did not offer to foot the bill. In all honesty I might have paid for a cheaper unit but that bridge was burned with her reaction.

The conversation ends with her hanging up on me. Not long after she attempts to call me a number of times but I do not answer and message her back that I need time to think and we can talk the next day.

So the following day she apologizes for her behavior again and I accept her apology on the condition that she does not act like that towards me again especially if I say no to her requests. She agrees and we move on.

The Final Straw

Now following this ordeal another interesting situation presents itself no more than a week later. Patty tells me that her family members who live in Pattaya are planning to travel home to Isan and she wants to join them. She cautiously asks me for help but this time she insists that she will pay me back. I agreed and sent her $9000.

But the following day we did a video call and she is still in Pattaya. I asked her why and she claims that her family member has a husband that is a 70 year old alcoholic who fell down and got injured. The family cannot go and the trip to Isan is off.

After hearing this and for the 100th time in two months I am skeptical. She offered to pay me back but I told her to hold on to the money and she can pay me back when she gets her annual bonus at the end of the month. I said this to her but was not planning on asking her for the money back.

A few days later the day she is expected to receive her bonus Patty shows me some of the new things that she has bought. She bought clothes shoes and some earrings. She also tells me that she is jealous of all these girls cashing in on farang checks hinting that this is what she would like our relationship to look like. I don’t comment and the conversation moves in a different direction.

Patty informs me that she needs to have more laser treatment for her acne scars and it is going to cost 4000 baht. I responded that I think her face looks great now which it did and she did not need to spend the money on more treatment. Patty then got upset accusing me that I’m only saying this because I don’t want to pay for it and insisting that she was going to pay for it herself. I was telling Patty the truth that her skin looked great but she wasn’t entirely wrong.

In any case I tried to steer the conversation to how she is spending her money in general. I told her that I would prefer that she save her money for things she needs rather than things she wants. I told her if it was me I would have used the bonus and Isan money to buy the air conditioner. I told her that if she saved the money for the air conditioner I would have split the cost of the AC unit with her and if she returned the clothes I would be willing to do that.

Ending the Relationship

I guess me telling her what to do with her money peed her off. Patty then disrespectfully asks me to buy her the air conditioner. As I’m looking at her in total disbelief and before I can even answer she hangs up the phone on me.

And this was the last time I spoke with Patty.

Shortly after I sent her a long message explaining to her that I am looking for a woman that loves me without any strings attached. Good luck in Thailand pal. I encourage her to ask the sponsored girls if they would still love the men without the sponsorship. She has told me the amounts of money these other women get from their sponsors and I’ve at least matched that amount if not exceeded it. It feels like the times I’ve helped her out over the last two months went for absolutely nothing to her and these fights over money are getting exhausting.

I tell her I can’t do this anymore and I do not want to continue with this relationship. It seemed like she was a little miffed at me accusing her of thinking of me as a sponsor rather than a boyfriend and she agreed to end the relationship. And that was that.