The 150000 Baht Wedding Scam
After graduating from business school in France in 2006 I moved to Thailand to work for a large French company that was operating in the country. Back then it was my first time in Asia and I didn’t know much about Thailand back then. I just thought it was a nice exotic destination and of course I had heard about the nightlife but didn’t know anything really about it. There weren’t many blogs and no YouTubers around at the time. Most of my information about the nightlife came from the odd blog and the classic ‘Private Dancer’ novel which I read on arrival and that was still quite new at the time.
I arrived in August 2006 and a month later a military coup took place which got me a bit stressed for a few days but then I saw life remained normal and most Thais around me were happy with it. I just went on with my life.
Soon after arriving I started experiencing the local nightlife and of course the discovery of Soi Cowboy first and then Nana Plaza a few days later. It was quite a shock. For six months or so I visited go go bars soapy massage outlets and random massage parlors. I also met freelancers. At some point I felt I was clearly on a slippery slope. I was earning a very decent salary by local standards but was spending everything and damaging my health with regular heavy drinking. I was going out four times a week on average and became a very good customer of the Tilac Bar my favorite spot at the time spending fortunes there.
Around six months after my arrival and after getting sick a third time of the Tilac bar girl I thought to myself ‘I’d better change my lifestyle.’ I registered on a dating website at the time there weren’t many around this was early 2007 and I went on one of the international dating sites that still exists today. There weren’t many girls registered in Bangkok and most were educated English speaking Thais almost no working girls. I put on my best pictures and looked for a serious relationship. I chatted with a few girls and one was very charming spoke good English and seemed very well educated. We’ll call her Mon.
Mon was 23 years old and had just graduated from university working for a large Thai consumer goods company. After a few weeks of chatting online we met for a dinner in a trendy place she suggested. The date went well and we decided to meet each other again next week. We started dating three or four times a week for dinners and we then usually ended up in upscale Thai nightclubs with live music where I was often the only farang. Mon would always drink non alcoholic beverages and despite the romantic atmosphere of those clubs when love songs were being sung I never managed to get closer to her never got a kiss or a cuddle that would be normal in the West. In fact Mon always kept a distance and I felt this was normal with conservative Thai girls. This was clearly not Soi Cowboy and I had to cope with it.
The Family Visit
First Mon told me she had told her parents about me and they wanted to invite me to the family home in a village near Ayutthaya to meet me and find out a little about me. Her father had his own business importing farm products from China and India which he was selling to wholesalers all around the country. He spoke decent English and had an older Mercedes which made me think the family was quite rich. They lived in Bangkok but had a family home in the countryside where they would go on weekends and reconnect with their relatives there. Mon owned an aging Toyota that used to belong to her mother and she drove me there on a Sunday. I was obviously very nervous as she told me we would be meeting her extensive family right away.
Once we got there her father who I was fearing a bit as he seemed a tough man from what Mon had told me made me very comfortable speaking with me in English and showing me around the place and introducing me to all the people there. The day went well with great Thai food and everybody was nice and polite with me. We were back in Bangkok in the evening and for the first time Mon gave me a quick kiss before dropping me at my place not a French kiss as I would have liked but this delighted me and made me feel we were really on the right track together.
The next few days we continued dating as usual and still no physical demonstration of love no more kisses. Mon was lovely with me but she was still distant and I was starting to feel this was awkward.
The Upscale Restaurant
One night Mon told me her parents wanted to invite me for lunch on the upcoming Sunday and that they had booked an upscale Thai restaurant which only the wealthy went to which she liked to underline always mentioning how ‘class’ these people were. She said it was an expensive place but they were inviting me and I would be their guests. I felt that this was great and that they must really appreciate me.
The day came and I took a taxi to the upscale restaurant and joined Mon and her family there. Upon entering the room I see her father her mother her younger brother as well as a friend of the family who I hadn’t met before. He was introduced to me as an old friend of Mon’s father who he hadn’t seen in a while. They had booked a VIP room separate from the rest of the restaurant which meant we were isolated from the other customers.
After ordering some drinks her father told me he wanted me to call my mother back in France with his phone as he wanted to talk to her about my relationship with his daughter and if I was serious or not. I told him my mum would only speak French and couldn’t understand English. He told me that was not a problem as his friend spoke French. I started to think that this guy had been hired to translate the conversation and felt that things were becoming really strange. I told him that back in France it was seven o’clock on a Sunday morning so we should wait a bit and have lunch first. He agreed and we started eating. I was very nervous as although I understood he was checking on his daughter and wanted to make sure I was a good farang I didn’t like the way this came as a surprise.
After an hour or so he insisted we call my mother. I took his cell phone and dialed the number hoping she wouldn’t pick up. I could have dialed a fake number but at this point I had strong feelings for Mon and I didn’t want to ruin things. My mother picked up quickly and seemed a bit stressed that an unknown Thai number was contacting her she probably imagined that something had happened to me here in Thailand. She seemed relieved when I told her I was with Mon’s family and that they wanted to chat with her she seemed amused in fact. Mon’s father asked me to translate. His friend who spoke only a few words of French but supposedly understood the language well was listening and sometimes speaking a few words in Thai with Mon’s father like he was commenting on our conversation and monitoring my translation skills.
After a brief introduction the questions started ‘Has your son been married before?’ ‘Do you feel he is ready for a real relationship?’ And finally ‘If he would marry my daughter would you agree?’ This last question sounded weird. We were dating for like three months by then and hadn’t really kissed and her parents were asking my mother if she was okay if we got married.
The phone call ended and I was relieved. Her father told me he was very happy with this discussion and that he could now organize the wedding. I started feeling very nervous and I did not have the courage to tell them this was not what I had planned at least not yet. Things were clearly going too fast for me. The dinner ended. Mon’s father dropped me at my place in his Mercedes and everything was rushing through my mind.
The Demand for Money
The next day I told some Thai colleagues who I trusted and who were good English speakers what had happened. They also felt this was weird and told me to slow things up. In the evening I text Mon and told her I was scared things were moving far too fast and that I was not ready for marriage yet although I might be in the future as I had strong feelings for her. For the first time since we dated she answered aggressively and told me I had promised and I couldn’t change my mind now as her whole family would lose face. I told her that I’d never promised anything and that her family had all decided by themselves and that I would not marry so fast.
Mon text me that if I canceled our wedding I had to pay them 150000 Thai Baht immediately to cover the cost of the rings her parents had already purchased. I told her I didn’t even know they had bought rings and was never asked about it. She went on to say that I had betrayed her and that she had lost face and that I had also ruined her reputation and that I must pay for it and that 150000 Thai Baht was nothing at all compared to what I made them suffer. I just stopped answering and waited for the next day.
The next day I was at work and I received several calls from her father but I didn’t answer. I told this to my Thai male colleagues who I trusted. They were both in their 30s married with kids. They were part of the Thai urban middle class and spoke very good English. They told me that I was probably being scammed by this family and that Mon had something to hide and they were pressuring me to marry their daughter fast as something was probably wrong like she had already lost her virginity (important for Thai middle class or upper class girls to be able to marry) or worse she had a hidden child somewhere. They told me this was also common with Thai girls a girl trying to marry fast to cover an embarrassing past not for money but just to save face with her family.
They told me to stop talking with her and her family and completely ignore them.
The next day I received a message from Mon telling me I needed to pay the 150000 Thai Baht by the next weekend or else there would be consequences. She told me her father was extremely angry at me and that he knew where I lived and worked and would find me if I refused to pay. I started fearing for my safety. I went home packed a bag and moved to a hotel on Sukhumvit Road to avoid having Mon’s family waiting for me in front of my condo. Back at work the next day I told my Thai friends what was going on and they took these threats very seriously. They told me they would handle the matter themselves which made me relieved. They asked me for the phone number of Mon and her father.
Later that day one of these guys came to my desk and told me everything would be fine and they would not bother me again. I asked how this was possible. He told me that ‘someone very powerful’ told them to leave me alone. ‘They will not contact you again.’ He told me his family had connections with high ranking officials and that he had asked one of them to give them a call and threaten that if they ever contacted me again there would be trouble. I was so relieved and felt so lucky these guys helped me out. I imagined the face of Mon’s father when he got that call. Indeed Mon and her family never contacted me again.
Colleagues Step In
I can’t thank my colleagues enough for their help with that matter.
Story Two Vietnam R and R 1960s Thailand Through a Soldiers Eyes
I was a young soldier stationed in Vietnam nearly completing the first of three years in a war zone. I had extended my tour there and so I qualified for additional R&R breaks. I had already been to Singapore but stories from guys who had been to Thailand persuaded me that it was the place to be. So I climbed onto a Huey helicopter in Vietnam for a short ride down the coast to the South China Sea to Da Nang where I caught a U.S. chartered flight to Bangkok.
Upon arrival all the soldiers on the flight were herded from a dusty terminal into a briefing room where a U.S. NCO in civilian clothes gave us the required safety briefing it was required before releasing a bunch of wild American GIs upon the citizens of the Kingdom. At this briefing we learned that we must never fail to respect the Thai king or anyone else we suspected might represent the Thai royalty. Furthermore we must stand for the Thai anthem if we attend any of the theaters and place a hand on our heart when the king’s picture appears. Place your palms together and do a slight respectful bow of your head to Thai officials especially if they seem agitated. For God’s sake never strike a Thai even if upon close inspection it happens that your female companion has a package bigger than yours.
Same is true even if hers happens to be a bit smaller. Use protection every single time because the unlucky had been known to contact something called ‘black syphilis.’ Such persons were always quarantined in the Philippines and were not eligible to go home until a cure was discovered penicillin we learned didn’t work. Pay for all the essentials in advance the hotel the taxi all entertainers were to be paid for up front for the duration of the stay no exceptions. If at any point you became dissatisfied or just wanted a change it would be honored by the Thai providers. Information sheets were then passed around for us to choose our accommodation our R&R orders collected and we were released to board a bus. Finally don’t run out of money. But if you do call the R&R folk if you need a small advance to feed yourself.
I still remember that briefing even after 50 years. I’m pretty sure the threat about black syphilis was exaggerated of course. I was only half listening because my gaze had been completely captured by a vision of feminine perfection in a traditional Thai outfit near the exit. I was hooked. I may even have fallen in love as the young lady at the door did the Thai bowing thing as I departed to board a bus to my chosen hotel the Thai International.
The Pretty Massage Parlor
Immediately upon arrival I paid the hotel went upstairs showered changed into civilian clothes and came straight down to hire a taxi. The hotel staff explained that chauffeur taxis could be booked for a modest price. The drivers were private contractors who assisted in finding entertainment. Drivers were on call 24 hours a day. When we booked them we were to pay for both the taxi and the entertainment at the venue and if any change was desired the driver would return you to do a change or get a refund your choice. I couldn’t get into the taxi quick enough and off we went to an establishment called the Pretty Massage Parlor.
As soon as I entered a middle aged Thai lady escorted me into a parlor drew back velvet curtains which covered a two way mirror and directed my attention to the numbers pinned on the clothing of 30 to 40 young girls seated in tiers behind the glass primping their hair and applying makeup and giggling. I was barely 20 years old and swear all of them were younger than me. I was awestruck at their beauty. The Thai lady suggested I take my time to choose and advised that the price of the taxi driver and entertainment would be $20 a day satisfaction guaranteed. My choice was number 97 who I later learned was named Pom.
Upstairs I went for the must have massage a very soapy very sensual affair but not a truly fulfilling experience. Number 97 explained that more was not permitted on the premises; however further entertainment could be indulged in the privacy of the hotel rooms. We were quickly back downstairs where I immediately handed over payment for entertainer taxi and driver plus my massage as directed in the briefing. The payment covered my entire stay. Grinning my taxi driver (whose name is forgotten) whisked us back to the Thai International. Pom who by this time had introduced herself told me she was hungry. That reminded me that I hadn’t eaten either but I had little time for the unnecessary. Upstairs to my room we went immediately. I handed her the hotel menu and told her to order room service for the both of us.
After the call she went in for a shower and shortly afterwards came out wearing only a towel smelling as sweet as freshly cut wild flowers. About then room service showed up with our dinner. We stuffed ourselves with some pretty good but spicy Thai food before beginning some serious aerobics.
At some point the driver called to see if we were going out that night. The answer was no and he was asked to show up after lunch the next day. We ordered room service at least twice more before going back down to get the taxi driver the following afternoon. I was in heaven.
During the next week Pom took me to see a Thai language film (English subtitles) and a Thai boxing match. We visited temples to see a gold Buddha another to see an emerald Buddha and a third to see a huge reclining Buddha made of teak wood. Each night I fell more head over heels in love with Pom. One of the most enduring things she did was to coo at me seductively in Thai it was a phrase which translated as ‘Sweetheart are you ready yet?’ Well maybe it was lust versus love but I was too young to know the difference. I had a few experiences in high school as well as in Vietnam and Singapore but I had never dreamed it could be as good as she made it.
Searching for Nang in Bangkok
As soon as I returned to Da Nang I asked my Marine boss how soon I could go again. He said he didn’t care I could go as often as the Army would pay for it. Three months later I was on another U.S. R&R charter flight back to Thailand. I went through the same dusty terminal building heard the same old tired safety briefing but stared at a different little Thai beauty doing the bowing thing at the exit. Maybe I remembered the briefing so well because I listened to it several times over two years. As before I was out the door quickly to catch the bus back to the Thai International Hotel. Now as a seasoned traveler I booked the same taxi driver as before went upstairs changed into civilian clothes but knowing about soapy massages I skipped the shower.
Out the door I was into my taxi and back to the Pretty Massage Parlor at breakneck speed.
The Surprise
Upon arrival I was speaking to the same middle aged Thai lady asking for Pom. She expressed her regret because Pom had returned to her province to care for her sick mother. However Madam was certain that another one of the young ladies would be happy to stand in for the missing Pom. The same velvet curtain retracted and once again a bevy of Thailand’s most beautiful were there for me to select. With only mild and fleeting regret I looked at the girls over until I spied number 82. Of course 82 and I were quickly on the way back to the Thai International Hotel. I skipped the relatively unsatisfying soapy massage but needed to pay for it anyway that was just the protocol a sort of modified bar fine I guess. I soon learned that the girl’s name was I’d. Although not quite as talented as Pom she was highly skilled.
This time Thai boxing again and I repeated the temple tour.
On my third morning there was a gentle tapping on the door of my hotel room and I’d and I were engaged intimately. I tried to ignore it and continue but the tapping increased. It became incessant knocking. I angrily withdrew jumped out of bed and threw the door wide open to confront the person who wouldn’t take the hint. My anger faded immediately as standing before me was none other than Pom. I didn’t know what to do but I’d took charge and invited Pom into the room picked up the phone and ordered breakfast coffee and tea for the three of us. I felt like I had been caught cheating. The girls however were quickly completely at ease chatting pleasantly in Thai giggling and giving side glances towards me as I shyly put on some boxers. Shortly room service arrived and we ate breakfast.
After breakfast a bit of awkward quietness came over the room. It became obvious that I was supposed to make a choice. Slowly my mind came out of its fog. I liked both girls. It came to me in a blinding flash both could entertain at the same time and they were there smiling and willing. Until then such a possibility had never occurred to me even in my fantasies. Furthermore in the hotel safe I had plenty of cash. I asked the girls if they both wanted to stay and they agreed immediately and began laughing. Pom told me I needed to reimburse the massage parlor again for her time and of course pay for the massage. Without missing a beat I agreed put on street clothes went down to the hotel desk pulled out the cash and gave the money to the taxi driver for the massage parlor.
Then I called up to my room gave the phone to the driver and he explained to the girls that he was on his way to pay my bill. That bit of necessary business out of the way I told him to come back at around two o’clock in the afternoon we would need him to take us out for drinks get something to eat and maybe go to a club for some dancing. In a flash I was back up to the room. The girls had showered and encouraged me to do the same. I did and began to be rewarded very pleasantly.
A fun filled day especially for me. The driver called the room at two but I was napping. I woke up around three. We got ready and went out together. Everyone was hungry so first stop was getting us fed. I felt so good I even included the driver for dinner. We later went out for drinks and the girls had a great time dancing especially with each other. I was not involved directly with their fun but I had a great time just watching them. It beat the hell out of going to a Thai movie with English subtitles or looking at more Buddhas.
Reality Hits
Although I was very young it slowly dawned on me how naive I had been. I returned to Thailand because I thought I had fallen in love and maybe I did or more accurately I could have. However the object of my affections had been engaged in business. It was all so painfully obvious. She was entertaining another guy when I’d return probably another young GI and not caring for a sick mother as reported by Madam. Since I was young fit not bad looking and attentive maybe she had had a bit of fun on our first go around but it was nonetheless a business arrangement for Pom as well as for I’d. My Western mind had resisted the obvious but reality hit me squarely in the face.
However I thank those two Thai girls for the gift they gave to me. In their own way they were very kind and loving to a very lonely soldier at war. They were almost as beautiful on the inside as they were on the outside and very different than the bar girls in Pattaya today. I think in the 1960s the girls accepted their transactional life without much cunning or treachery. Maybe they stole a bit to survive but they had kind hearts. Over the years I fear each broken promise of love and family together combined with modern technology and social media has managed to warp the minds of poor country girls in Thailand. The stories and experiences of their mothers and grandmothers has taught them that we Westerners can’t be trusted. From my 53 year perspective visiting Thailand regularly it seems Thailand has lost an innocence once present.
Except for a small number of successful marriages between Thai women and Western men it’s Paradise Lost replaced by Fantasy Island impossible dreams with each side using the other for their own purposes.
I had a Polaroid of the three of us when I was leaving the hotel going back to Vietnam but I lost it in a hotel room in Cambodia in 2007. The girls were giggling. That picture had been a prized possession I had managed to hang on to it for almost 40 years. I miss the photo but treasure the memory of the young GI with two happy go lucky Thai girls that is no more. As I write this I sit and wonder where Pom and I’d are today. I hope they had a good life and made out for the better.
Story Three Knock Good Girl Gone Bad
I was planning a trip to Thailand. I had been a few times before so I knew where to visit. I got a flight out there in October 2006 and after arriving at the Nana Hotel the first night I just chilled out on my own and had a few beers after the long flight. The following morning I checked out of the Nana Hotel and had a minibus booked to go to Hua Hin as it was my first visit there. I got a hotel in the center. The first night I visited a night market then I came across a soi with lots of beer bars. Girls were pulling on my arm and trying to get me to go inside their bars. At one small bar a petite lady grabbed my arm. She had a warm smile so I went into her bar. She told me her name was Knock.
She had a great sense of humor she was always joking and I liked that. I paid her bar fine we had a few drinks and we went back to my hotel. The next morning I told Knock that I wanted to spend my week with her in Hua Hin and what did she think about it. ‘Yes’ was her reply. She told me to go to her bar in the evening. I went back to the bar and paid the bar fine for the week. During the daytime we would go to the beach and in the evenings go to the bars. That week flew by and at the end of the Hua Hin trip I said my goodbyes to Knock. My minibus took me back to Bangkok for a couple more nights. The time came for me to fly back to the UK.
Once I was home I couldn’t help thinking about Knock. She was a nice girl with a good heart and I kept in touch with her. I guess deep down I knew that nothing could really come of it but I decided to visit Thailand again and look her up anyway. We made plans to meet the following year and we would take a trip to Koh Chang. When I arrived at the Nana Hotel the receptionist told me that Knock was waiting for me in reception. As soon as I saw her I got very excited and we both smiled at each other. We also hugged each other and went up to my room. We decided to go out and have dinner and a few drinks and have a relatively quiet night as we had to get up early the next morning to head off to Koh Chang.
The fun and games started on the ferry over to the island. Knock looked quite sad and I asked her what was wrong. She said she was sad as all her friends had the latest mobile phone but she was too poor to buy one for herself and she didn’t go off with customers I was her first so she didn’t make much money. I knew immediately what was going on and just played dumb telling her ‘I’m so sorry to hear that.’ When we arrived at the hotel she told me she wanted to look around the island and I should wait for her at the hotel. I told her no we’ll go together and she reluctantly agreed. On the positive side it was a lovely beach and we spent our days just relaxing and swimming and our nights drinking in the beach bars.
One evening we were laying on the bed just watching TV. I woke up as Knock entered the room holding a mobile phone. I said to her ‘Why did you lie to me and tell me you don’t have a mobile phone?’ She said ‘This isn’t mine it belongs to my mum and dad.’ They seem to have an answer for everything. Immediately after this Knock started crying and said ‘I thought you were a good man now I can see you’re a bad man.’ I really didn’t want this to develop into a fight as I couldn’t handle several days of her being moody. I just wanted to enjoy my time on the island so I told her ‘Look I’m sorry I made a mistake. Just forget it.’
After we left Koh Chang we went back to the Nana Hotel for my last night in Bangkok. In those days the Nana Hotel had a disco which we decided to spend the evening at. When we walked in a guy who looked like he was in his 60s shouted out loudly and happily to Knock. She looked smiled and went over to the guy. They gave each other a hug. The guy then noticed me standing there so he said ‘Sorry we’re old friends.’ At the end of the evening when we went back to the room I asked Knock how she knew the guy. She said ‘He was a customer from when I worked at 7 Eleven.’ The first part of her reply was true anyway.
Sending Money to Knock
Once back home I missed Knock even more. Christmas came around and I decided to send Knock 50 pounds as a present. I know she probably didn’t need it as bar girls get sent money from lots of different foreign men I just thought it would be a nice gesture at Christmas. This is something I’ve never done before sent money to a bar girl. I had to call Knock in a shop and give her a number so that she could collect the money that I’d sent her but it was a bad line and she didn’t really understand what I was saying. So she told me she would hand the phone over to the shopkeeper who spoke better English. When I spoke to this guy he spoke to me in a very aggressive manner. I’m pretty sure that this guy was either her Thai boyfriend or a husband.
Needless to say I never contacted Knock again.
About a year later I received a text out of the blue from her. She said ‘Hello darling I’m sorry I lost your number but I found it now. When are you coming to Thailand to see me? I miss you.’ What a cheek this girl has. I obviously never replied.
Guys if you go to Thailand for play and pay don’t try to develop anything more than that. It just doesn’t work out with these bar girls. They’re all the same.
