The Expat Who Ran Out of Road In Thailand
Although some may find this story a bit morbid it may act as a reminder that although life in Thailand can seem very merry and rosy it’s important that guys have their finances in good order if they’re going to have a nice life living in the Land of Smiles.
Having been to Thailand many times now I have come across all types of Westerners. Some are genuine guys some are fake and some have actually gone on to be lifelong friends. I always look forward to talking with new guys and potentially making friends with people from all over the world when in Thailand. I have visited Koh Samui several times and have gotten to know the island well over the years. I have also made plenty of friends there. On one particular visit in 2014 to the island I was introduced to a new friend that had recently moved to Koh Samui. His name was Pete.
Pete was from the north of England in his late 40s and had lived in Thailand for several years already. As I got to know him he explained that when he first started visiting Thailand he would mostly visit Pattaya for a week or two. But on one of his holidays he met a nice girl who he felt he might be able to have a future with. At the time Pete had a burning desire to move permanently to Thailand and ended up opening a bar with his then girlfriend that he had met in Pattaya. The plan was that the bar would generate enough money for Pete and his girlfriend to sustain a nice lifestyle in Thailand.
Pete had a few enjoyable years living in Pattaya running the bar and loved his girlfriend but unfortunately his bar endeavor just didn’t really seem to be making enough money. Any money that the bar did make always seemed to go back into the bar on investments like a new sound system pool tables stock and various other necessities. Additionally Pete said that any money that was left over would usually be sent to the family of his girlfriend.
Eventually the demands of having a bar and the worries that go with it began to get very stressful for Pete and the business just seemed to be a money pit. After a few years of living this lifestyle in Pattaya Pete’s savings had plummeted and he knew he was not going to be able to continue for much longer. After discussing the situation with his girlfriend Pete clarified that she didn’t accept the situation. In turn he realized that his only way out was to simply walk away from everything. After all the bar had been put in his girlfriend’s name and he knew what he had invested was completely gone.
Pete then left his Pattaya girlfriend as well as the bar he had bought her and headed down to Koh Samui with the hope of starting a clean slate. Pete had gotten to know the expat community including some of my friends. Pete came across as a likable and positive character and he would usually be seen laughing telling jokes having fun conversations and just enjoying the bar atmosphere with other expats.
Last Reserves in Koh Samui
As I got to know Pete he told me that he was down to his last reserves and really did not want to return to the UK especially since he had been living in Thailand for several years and feared he wouldn’t be able to adjust to the hectic and busy UK lifestyle. I could see from his facial expressions and the look in his eyes that he really didn’t want to return to the UK. He mentioned that he was expecting a decent payout in the way of inheritance money and that he would probably receive the funds soon. He would have to take it easy with his cash.
As Pete would often drink in the bars I wondered why he didn’t cut back on the bar scene if he really was down to his last reserves. It was puzzling to see someone who was nearly broke using up their last bit of money for drinking almost every day of the week in bars. Perhaps Pete was really counting on his inheritance coming soon. Pete was also overweight so should have cut back for health reasons too. For me it was okay as I was on holiday then afterwards I would get back to my normal working routine.
The Downward Spiral
I returned to the UK for work but then went back to Koh Samui around five months later. I met up with my friends again and before long Pete was on the scene. I hadn’t tried to connect with him while I was away from Thailand so when I saw him I asked him how he was doing and if his situation had improved. Unfortunately for Pete he explained that he hadn’t received the inheritance money that he had been hoping for and had doubts whether it would even come at all due to some family disputes. Yet Pete still seemed to frequent the bars and drank on a regular basis.
Since I had been away Pete had gotten himself a girlfriend and she too would often accompany him while he drank in the bars. At first Pete’s girlfriend seemed nice but then I was told by a mutual friend that she was an alcoholic. I observed that both Pete and his girlfriend drank and smoked a lot and I wondered how he was able to fund his and his girlfriend’s excessive drinking and smoking habits given his situation. Pete later on told me he had borrowed money from various other expats and even some Thais.
I saw him a few days later and he mentioned that he was going to open a bar in Koh Samui. He seemed to be confident this time around would be successful running a bar unlike his previous attempts in Pattaya. Since the rent for the Koh Samui bar was cheap he knew friends who were drinking in his bar and could help him to get the girls to work in the bar. Also Pete boasted that his girlfriend had bar experience so that factor would also put him in good stead. As far as Pete was concerned opening his new bar was going to be a golden opportunity to pay everybody back and get his life on track.
Several days later he did go on to open a bar in Koh Samui and on the opening night things seemed promising. He had balloons food a DJ plenty of girls and a good amount of customers. Sadly the following days were gloom. It looked like hardly any customers visited his bar after the initial opening. I visited Pete’s bar regularly mostly just to try and support him. However the girls looked fed up due to the lack of customers and Pete would often be drunk and didn’t seem to treat the girls very well often shouting at them. I can recall visiting Pete’s bar one evening and he was barking orders at the girls ordering them to dance on the poles and that they needed to encourage customers to come into the bar. Pete seemed frustrated. He was also drunk again too.
As his girlfriend wasn’t in the bar I asked Pete where she was. He looked a little sad and said that a guy came in and bar fined her. ‘I said what? But she’s your girlfriend.’ Pete explained that he barely had a penny to his name and that this particular customer was willing to pay really good money for his girlfriend to spend the evening with him. ‘We’re both desperate for cash’ he told me. ‘I told her just do it and think of the money.’
To me it was evident that the bar wasn’t going to help him get his life back on track. Despite trying to visit his bar when I could to support him during my holiday it was clear he probably wasn’t going to be successful. After that visit I returned home to the UK and worked hard to save up for another visit to Thailand which was around six months later.
The End of the Road
When I returned to Koh Samui Pete was still lingering around the bars but I noticed that he wouldn’t buy any drinks himself. Instead he hoped friends or someone he would meet would buy him a beer or two and this usually did happen. By this time Pete looked awful. He had dirty clothes on and smelt quite bad. I bought Pete a few beers and asked what happened with everything. He told me that the bar just didn’t make any money and it got to the point where all the girls had left and the best thing that he could do was walk away. Despite him having no promising options of earning money he still didn’t want to return to the UK even though his situation was dire.
Pete mentioned to me that his visa had expired and he was overstaying because he didn’t even have enough money to renew his visa. He just generally looked quite down unlike the larger than life type character that I had initially met. A friend also told me that Pete owed a lot of money to people not only expats but Thais too and that he would find himself in a lot of trouble and maybe even a life threatening situation if he didn’t start paying people back soon.
Surprisingly Pete was still with his girlfriend and she too would occasionally scrounge for a drink from someone since it was clear she still had a drinking problem and no money. It was a sad and desperate situation to see and some friends told me that Pete’s girlfriend would sometimes go off on short time with various guys and friends of Pete even knew about this.
Throughout that particular visit to Thailand I did buy Pete quite a few beers as I could afford it. His situation was dreadful. I advised him that he should return to the UK work hard then save up to come back to Thailand in the future and have a new outlook on life. I told Pete that if he returned to the UK at least he could apply for unemployment benefit and he wouldn’t have to worry about where his next meal was coming from. But it seemed Pete was terrified of returning home to the UK and just wanted to stay in Thailand. He was 50 by this point and didn’t have a single penny to his name. He had become accustomed to the beautiful Thai way of life and the thought of returning to the UK seemed to be daunting for him perhaps even frightening.
After that trip I wasn’t able to return to Thailand for a while. But when I did I did not see Pete around. I asked a mutual friend if he knew what happened to him. He told me that things got so desperate for him that he was sleeping rough on the streets and had to beg for food and drinks. Eventually he just had no choice but to return to the UK. Apparently a few locals and expats had managed to scrape enough cash together to pay for his overstay fine and purchase a cheap flight back to the UK. I then learned that after he returned to the UK he worked very long hours as a taxi driver in a bid to pay off all the people he owed money to. He also tried to save up for his return to Thailand.
I was told that Pete had a heart attack and passed away in 2016. I can only imagine the stress and the pressure he was under with all the debts and financial problems he had gotten himself into. I guess Pete was just one of those guys who fell in love with Thailand like many of us do and tried to create a nice life for himself but sadly discovered the harsh realities when it was too late. Thailand can chew you up and spit you out if you’re not careful. Thailand is a wonderful country but see it for what it is. Enjoy the country people food and climate but always remember being in good health and being financially comfortable makes a huge difference.
Story Two The Thai Girl in Canada Groceries and Gaslighting
I’m a retired member of the Canadian military and like most young men in the military I had my fair share of wild times. This story takes place in 2013 while I was posted to Canada’s capital city Ottawa. Shortly after arriving in Ottawa I joined an internet dating site and soon met a few lovely ladies. One of those ladies was a beautiful Thai girl named Nat. She had a very appealing nature and we hit it off immediately. The first night we met up she made a lasting impression and seemed very respectful towards me which was not something I was used to as a lot of women I’ve met through internet dating sites just seemed like ‘sports dates’ (this term is used to describe a woman who may not be dating for the right intentions).
After a couple of dates Nat spent the night at my place and she blew my mind. I’m no spring chicken and let me just say she was skilled to say the least. Nat told me about her situation and how she ended up in Canada. She had met a Canadian guy who was on vacation in Thailand. She was working in a bar in Pattaya when they met and the guy fell in love with her married her and moved her to Canada. They had two children together but things didn’t work out and they separated. She had a very expensive lifestyle in Canada this was evident by the neighborhood she lived in and the vehicle she drove a Porsche. In contrast I drove an old Honda.
Back to her and me. After a couple of overnight visits her appealing nature began to wear away. She was more interested in going to nightclubs on the weekend and partying into the early morning hours. This didn’t fit into my lifestyle but as I said she was very skilled and so I let her do her thing with her friends and we had our fun together later. After a couple of weeks it became obvious that she was unable to afford her lifestyle. She started showing up at my house randomly for day sessions. I thought this was great but afterwards she would go through my pantry looking for groceries to take home to her house. This gave me mixed feelings. She was a lot of fun but this was turning into an exchange of sorts and I was not in the habit of paying for my aerobic sessions however pretty a girl was.
I never said anything to her about the parting gifts she would leave with but I would chuckle about it after she left.
One afternoon she messaged me saying she wanted to come over for an aerobic session. I told her to come over when I’d get home after work. We had a great time but she had to leave early to pick up her kids. I was walking her out and we approached the front door. She turned to me and said ‘You just got an aerobic session for free.’ I didn’t miss a beat. I said ‘So did you. See you later.’ She had an annoyed look on her face as I closed the door. I stopped taking her calls after this as her nature became blatantly obvious. This was almost 10 years ago and I have dated a few other ladies from Asian countries since then but no others required parting gifts from my kitchen.
As I said in the beginning I’m now retired so I’ll be making my first trip to Thailand in January 2023. I’ll also spend time in the Philippines and Indonesia.
Story Three The Massage Lady and the Sick Father
It all started in Phuket in early March of this year. I entered the Kingdom on the Thailand Pass. Phuket was a shell of its former glory but a good time could still be had. I was staying in a hotel near Bangla Road so there was plenty of activity and there were lots of opportunities for all sorts of things. About six stores from my hotel there was a massage shop bold sign that they were a genuine Thai massage shop with no extras offered. I’m here to tell you that that was a lie.
I was somewhat attracted to an older lady extremely well proportioned. I thought to myself ‘What could possibly go wrong?’ As I entered the shop then came that question ‘Oh well what have I got to lose?’ I thought to myself. I had one of the best massages I’ve ever had. I left the shop feeling extremely happy. ‘A woman like her is hard to find’ I remember thinking as I walked back to my hotel. A shower a rest and then out to eat. On the way home there she was standing at the front of the massage shop. She said to me ‘I have no customer no people. I come with you.’ I thought ‘Why not?’ So off to my hotel we went and we had great aerobics until the early hours. I treated her to breakfast in the morning before she left.
Over the next few days I would bump into her but only got together with her once more. I was leaving for Chiang Rai the following day and only caught up with her nearly a month later when I was returning to Melbourne.
The Video Calls and the Father
I’m home in Melbourne and I receive an unexpected Line message. It was from the lady in the massage shop telling me that she missed me and that she was desperately in love with me. The message went on to explain how she was going to do unimaginable things to me when she sees me again next. Now let me get this into perspective I’m no oil painting due to my age so it doesn’t take a genius to work out she has alternative motives. After discussing the situation with my best friend we worked out that it would probably take about two weeks before her sick buffalo would be in need of some veterinary attention.
She had a habit of sending me short video clips of her performing acts that you would normally only see on a site you paid money to. She used a very basic item fashioned from wood. I thought being a Good Samaritan the very least I could do was to buy her a real one from the Alibaba website. Two weeks later it arrived and she knew what it was for. She took to it like an axeman chopping wood. I remember telling her when it arrived to be careful as it was as strong like a lawnmower with a smile on my face. Around the same time I was getting a hip replacement and couldn’t really do much but sit around the house so having her daily video shows and chats was actually quite enjoyable and relieved the boredom of staying home all day.
In the meantime I patiently waited for her buffalo to get sick. Two days before the end of the month it happened. Alas it wasn’t her family’s buffalo it was her father. I was very sympathetic and listened intently while she told me her story and how she needed money desperately to pay his medical bills. I asked the obvious question ‘What hospital is he in?’ The reply came back ‘Bumrungrad International Hospital.’ I burst out laughing. Bumrungrad is the most expensive hospital in Thailand. I told her ‘No way.’ My reaction stopped her from talking about this subject again.
Life went back to being wonderful once more. Weeks went by and no mention of her father but now she decided it was time for me to buy her a massage shop. She was met with the same response as before me laughing loudly. I reminded her that I didn’t need a girlfriend I just liked her as a friend. And again life went back to normal but not for long.
Next came ‘Can you buy me a coffee shop?’ A car? A scooter? And the list went on. Send me money. Pay my rent. Again I reminded her that she was not my girlfriend. I found it all very entertaining. She was like a typical Thai bar girl. I would be continually telling her ‘No way I’m not buying you anything and I’m not sending you any money.’ I was always happy to pay her well for her services when I went back to Phuket and to give her a little extra to make her life easier. However cars businesses scooters and money I would consider to be unreasonable and I’d not really known her for that long. Knowing what I know now and after having visited Thailand many times even if I had known her for many years I would not be investing in her lifestyle.
One day while speaking with her for no reason that I could see she went into an incredibly vicious verbal attack and told me that I must look after her financially or I’m no good to her. I said ‘No why the heck should I?’ And of course this got her even angrier. I can’t really repeat the things she said to me here but I remember thinking at the time how ruthless this girl is. So much for the Land of Smiles. I have heard about the anger that some Thai bar girls can display but I’ve never seen it firsthand until then. With all the massage shops in Phuket I’m guessing it won’t take long for me to find a replacement new friend.
Story Four First Time Soapy A Smashing Success
I flew into Bangkok on my first visit to Thailand recently. I thoroughly enjoyed Bangkok for a few days taking in the sights visiting the Grand Palace and other attractions by day and then enjoying the company of a freelancer later in the evenings. I spent nine days in Pattaya enjoying all that is on offer including wonderful cheap massages walking and jogging along the beach playing pool with the girls in the bars and a few hot laps at the go kart track. I developed some friendships with a few of the girls and we keep in touch. Then back to Bangkok for a couple of days before heading to Phuket. I figured it was about time to enjoy a soapy massage.
For any newbies a soapy massage is an old tradition mostly enjoyed by Asian men but also open to farangs like myself. I did my research and learned about large places with fishbowls featuring numerous girls behind glass where you pick their numbers and she will massage you. These places also have different levels of girls where more attractive girls command a higher fee. In one place you can ascend to upper floors in a large complex and pay very high fees for a ‘model’ which is a very attractive tall fair skinned girl. This all seems a bit much for me though as a massage is a massage right? But who knows I may be tempted to check it out one day. I instead find a few smaller places offering soapies with less fanfare. I settle on one place and decide to check it out.
I enjoy walking in Bangkok because the streets are so alive. The only thing is that one must be very careful crossing the streets as it can be quite dangerous. The cars may be stopped but the motorbikes are whizzing through the gaps. I arrive at the small soapy shop and an absolutely lovely lady greets me and invites me in. There are a few nice looking ladies sitting in chairs on the street at the entrance. I am to find out that the girl who greets me is one of the more experienced massage girls and is acting as a kind of manager for the rest of the girls on this particular evening. She’s very warm extremely attractive and welcoming. I immediately feel a great rapport with her. She invites me in to sit on the sofa and discusses the offerings.
I am presented with a menu just as you would have in a restaurant it’s a booklet with laminated sheets clearly stating in plain language what is being offered. There is pricing for 30 60 90 and 120 minute massages.
I am taking this all in and becoming very fond of the girl presenting the options to me. I ask her if I can go with her for a massage. She looks so amazing I love her energy. I don’t need to see the other girls. She apologizes and says that normally that would be fine but tonight she is acting as a manager so I will have to select one of the other girls. At this time an Asian man walks in a taller attractive man probably in his 30s. He also sits down on the sofa with the lady between us. She talks to him a bit and then gives a signal and like magic six or seven attractive girls appear and line up in front of us. They are all attractive but none of them capture my fancy quite like this lady.
The Asian guy looks at the women and doesn’t see anything he likes so politely says ‘I’ll be back later’ even though everyone knows he won’t return. He stands up and heads for the door. The girls are still standing there and I’m feeling quite embarrassed because I am hesitant to choose one since I don’t see my dream girl. My dream girl is sitting next to me.
Choosing Lamb for the Massage
I ponder for a moment and decide to take the most honest approach. I tell her I don’t see anyone I like and I will be moving on. I add that she is the one I really want to massage me but I understand if she is not available tonight. She thinks for a moment and then says ‘I will massage you.’ I am thrilled as I already have a thing for this girl. She is super hot she’s friendly our rapport is fun and easy and I know we will have a great time. I refer back to the menu and decide on the maximum time offered two hours. I will call her Lamb.
She points out that I can pay an extra 500 Baht for the VIP room. ‘What’s that?’ I ask. She replies ‘It’s a larger room nicely decorated with a big screen TV larger tub and generally nicely appointed.’ I ponder the extra fee and Lamb points out that since it’s a two hour session the larger room will be especially nice. I agree. I book the room and I’ve now signed up for the flagship service with a girl I am 100% certain will deliver the goods. I pay the fee and also grab a beer for an extra 100 Baht.
We head into the back and up the stairs into the VIP room. It’s quite spacious and nice as predicted. Lamb turns on the tub water fires up the big screen and heads back downstairs while I undress. She has gone for quite a while presumably instructing one of the other girls on how to act as a boss for a while. It’s hard to tell but I guess Lamb is in her mid 30s while most of the other girls are in their late 20s. Lamb finally comes back after I’ve been waiting in my birthday suit genuinely disinterested in the TV and eager for Lamb’s company. The tub is nearly full and she suggests a shower which is located right next to the tub presumably they want to keep the tub as clean as possible so a pre shower is taken.
We shower and Lamb adds the bubble bath to the tub and we jump in together.
What happens next is pure bliss. Lamb turns on the jets in the tub and the bubbles start to rise. She starts giving me one of the best soapy massages I’ve ever had while all the time we are chatting joking and laughing and genuinely having a wonderful time. This goes on for a while and I realize my instincts about Lamb are spot on. The rapport I feel with her is real and our time together is wonderful so far. At some point it’s time to get out of the tub dry off. We get on the dry bed and she asks if I want gel or oil for the body to body massage. I really don’t know what is best so I say ‘gel’ in an inquisitive voice that seeks her approval. She says ‘Yes gel is best.’ Next is a massage with gel. Lamb is very good at massage.
This goes on for quite some time and is as blissful as the tub antics. Then Lamb gets a towel wipes off the gel and asks me to turn over to massage my other side.
A Successful Soapy Session
It was a perfect session with a beautiful warm experienced stunning Thai woman. When we are done there is still a little time left and we enjoy talking to each other. I find myself looking into Lamb’s eyes and smiling continually. What a lovely experience. My first soapy is a smashing success. I exchanged Line ID with Lamb and I will certainly track her down again the next time I’m in Bangkok.
Story Five Pattaya 1969 The Special Forces Surprise
I thought I’d share an event that I experienced in January 1969 during my two year tour of duty while serving in the U.S. Army in Thailand. On weekends a few of us guys stationed at a nearby base camp would make our way to Pattaya via the two lane Sukhumvit Highway using public transportation. We would flag down a bus heading towards Chonburi or Bangkok five Baht per person and 20 minutes later we would bail off at South Pattaya Road. From there we would make our way down to Beach Road. The Nipper Lodge was the only hotel we knew of that was close to all the action. This accommodation was definitely not within our budget. After a bit of checking around we learned of some small bungalows that rented out for 100 Baht (five US dollars) per month.
My army buddy jumped at this opportunity but me living up to my cheap Charlie reputation held back.
The bungalow he rented was located right behind the Friends Bar one of just a handful of bars in the area that we went to in town and close to the west end of South Pattaya Road. I soon met with a stunner that was renting a bungalow just above the one where my buddy was staying. We had a brief fling going. Meanwhile my buddy had hooked up with a real stunner at his bungalow. We had a few double dates with these two stunners. We would meet up with them at the Army PX canteen snack bar. After dining we were taking in a movie and then proceed to our designated bungalows. On these occasions this would be the only time I spent any money on my stunner. A couple of burgers fries and movies seemed to suffice and satisfy a cheap Charlie’s game plan.
After a couple of get togethers I sensed she was becoming bored with me.
The following weekend we returned to Pattaya. We arrived at the bungalows at around 9 PM. My buddy had already met up with his girl but mine was nowhere to be seen. I was getting a bit tired so I used the key my girlfriend had given me entered her bungalow and fell asleep. It must have been after midnight when I was awakened by someone banging on the door and cussing up a storm. These bungalow doors would lock with a padlock on the outside. She had arrived with her new boyfriend. I later learned that this guy was a member of a U.S. Army Special Forces team assigned to that area. I’m sure had I pursued a contest it would have ended before it even started.
All he would have needed would have been his thumb and forefinger on my wrist and in the blink of an eye I would have been in a prone position observing the twinkling stars above.
Homeless After Curfew
I looked on my exterior and asked ‘Does this mean we’re no longer engaged?’ All this commotion woke my buddy and his future bride to be. They came outside and noticed that I was now homeless. His gracious girl invited me to spend the rest of the night on the floor of their bungalow. Being after midnight and after curfew and having no other options I gratefully accepted. My army buddy looked at me and mumbled ‘Gee thanks buddy.’
In later years my army buddy was in a fitness center back home and struck up a conversation with a club member. They got to comparing notes and it turned out that he was in Pattaya at the same time that we were. He stated that he was a member of an eight man Special Forces team assigned to that area. When asked if he had any recollection of that night back in January 1969 he said he didn’t. It could have been him or one of his team members.
