Koh Samui Memories
This is a story from a few years ago. When I was 26 years old I’m Scandinavian I had decided to go on a kite surfing week long course about 30 kilometers from Hua Hin in a rural area. This was my first time in Thailand and from the moment I set foot outside the aircraft everything was so different from my country. I was very excited to explore Thailand.
I arrived at my hotel in the evening but because of the time difference from Europe I wasn’t keen on sleeping. The hotel had bicycles available for guests so I took one and went to explore the area. I was looking for a bar that might be open past midnight. I had Google Maps the flashlight on my phone and quite a feminine bicycle with a pretty basket. My phone with the flashlight turned on was in the basket.
I approached a house and a pack of dogs started chasing me. I wasn’t at ease with the dogs to begin with so this was quite terrifying to me. I rolled past the house as fast as I could with the dogs almost catching up to me. Now I couldn’t turn back I thought so I continued on hoping to find something open. I was cycling on a road that was quite dark and I was the only person around.
Then I arrived at another house and the same thing happened dogs chased me and I was terrified. So I cycled as fast as I could. This went on for quite a while until I arrived in Hua Hin where I was hoping to find a taxi to drive me back to the hotel. No taxis were available it was late. I ended up cycling on the beach where again dogs chased me.
Finally I heard some music playing from a bar. I parked my bicycle and had a nice cold beer. The relief of having arrived somewhere safe made the beer taste even better.
I met some other Europeans who were having drinks at this bar. One guy I got speaking to was French about 50 years old who explained the bar scene to me. He asked me what kind of girls I like. Back then I was very reserved so I told him I wasn’t interested in dating any of the girls in the bars.
Meeting Marley in Hua Hin
As the night progressed I started to talk to the girls in this bar along with two other Europeans. I was quite attracted to one of them but she turned out to be a ladyboy which set me back a little bit. I then started talking to a real girl called Marley.
One of my new European friends tried to warn me about this girl and said she couldn’t be trusted. I was wondering if that was really true because perhaps he liked her and he was trying to put me off thus leaving her available for him. So I continued to talk to her taking a chance. The chemistry was really good from the get go.
I was a bit drunk. I remember paying a bar fine of 300 Baht but honestly I can’t remember giving her anything else. We spent the night in a cheap hotel drinking and having aerobics all night which was great. I didn’t sleep for most of the night and then eventually passed out from exhaustion and alcohol intake.
The next day we woke up quite late and I asked her if she wanted to have breakfast and spend the rest of the day with me to which she agreed. A little later in the afternoon she became very tired and said she wanted to go back to her room and sleep for a while. She told me that I could go along with her if I wanted to so I thought ‘Why not?’
Her room was very small with no air conditioning and I couldn’t sleep as much as I tried. So I left and went back to my room. I was fast asleep in my room on top of the bed. I don’t know how long I’d been sleeping for but I was woken up to a very loud hammering on the door.
When I opened the door Marley was standing there looking angry and accused me of abandoning her. She was quite aggressive. I told her I didn’t abandon her I didn’t want to wake her up and I couldn’t sleep because she had no air conditioning. She started crying and left.
Returning to the Hotel
I eventually found a tuk tuk driver who could take me to the bicycle I had abandoned at the bar pick it up and take me and the bicycle back to the hotel.
That was my only experience in a beer bar with Thai girls. I never did go back to Hua Hin. I had a fantastic week kite surfing.
Looking back after speaking to other foreigners in Thailand I think Marley thought she might have landed a sponsor but unfortunately she wasn’t successful and that was probably why she was more upset rather than me just leaving the room. Did I have a lucky escape? I guess I’ll never know.
On a more positive note I had a wonderful night in that cheap motel with Marley and that is a memory that will stay with me forever.”
Story Two The 200000 Euro Business Swindle
I’m an Italian. I’ve worked abroad for 20 years. I’m well traveled and I’ve enjoyed aerobics in several countries. Although many girls in the Philippines and Thailand are very cute I never fell for any of their tricks.
I’m a hotel manager but also a chef. When I returned to Italy I worked as a manager but also started my own cooking classes in the hotels I worked in. I was managing a hotel in a small town in Italy. My cooking classes were well attended because I speak good English my food is good and I know a lot of jokes so my classes are informative and entertaining and also not cheap.
In 2005 I had a group of five well off Thai ladies attend my cooking classes a TV announcer a businesswoman and another well off lady along with a woman called Fawn. During the week Fawn took a liking to me and me to her. She was about 40 to 45 years old I am 53. During this week we had romantic encounters but no aerobics. Being the hotel manager I didn’t want to expose myself to any problems with clients.
She was still touring Italy and when she got to Florence she called me and I went to see her and we finally did the deed. I was taken by her and decided to go and see her in Thailand. She told me she had a business but did not understand marketing.
Three weeks later I was on a flight to Bangkok. She took me to a hotel near her office south of Bangkok and the next day we went to her office. She introduced me to her staff and a friend who spoke a little Italian because she had been married to an Italian man. She was a very nice lady. She had a business making iron gates. Fawn seemed to have a successful business and was doing well.
Agreeing the Money
We agreed she would come back with me and spend a week in Italy. I still had not understood what kind of business she had. While in Italy we spent a lot of time together. I later found out that Fawn’s business was network marketing selling fertilizer to farmers and recruiting salespeople and agents. She was making good money.
We talked about getting married and I dreamed of a Buddhist wedding. I’ve always been fascinated by the Orient. I kind of believed in something spiritual not sure what. We also talked about money. I thought she had a lot more money than me. I showed her my investment in shares about two hundred thousand Euros. She suggested that I invest in her business. I took a couple more trips to Thailand.
I told her if I invest in Thailand I have to follow my money. We talked more about getting married and I wired a hundred thousand Euros to her company account. She came back with two friends a maid to cook Thai food and the Italian speaking Thai who told me to be careful as she was ‘a bit of a criminal.’ It seemed like a bit of a joke at the time.
I wired the second hundred thousand Euros. She went out to eat in the harbor while I was working and she came back totally drunk. I found it embarrassing and a little alarming.
During the next few trips to Thailand she told me about a phosphate deposit she wanted to develop and needed investors. I had two Australian friends in this business and I arranged for them to come over. She paid the airline tickets and hotel in Bangkok for them and then she accompanied us with some business partners up a mountain to see where the phosphate was. I thought it was a bit odd that the phosphate we found was on top of the grass and not in the ground.
I discussed the matter with my friends and they were a bit wary. Before they invested any money they wanted to see some drilling done to see exactly where the deposits were. My friends told me to be careful. I had bitten off more than I could chew.
Discovering the Fertilizer Lie
I told Fawn about the drilling and she was furious. She refused to do any drilling obviously there was no phosphate. There were more distractions and by this time I started to think something was not right. The aerobics were not great anymore.
Although she let me sleep in her house on one visit she was not at the airport to meet me but sent two friends to escort me. I found it very irritating because I did not need bodyguards. The aerobics were not great and lacking in quality. I told her about it and asked if something had changed. We had a big argument and she told me ‘Do you want your money back?’
At first I said no I want to stay with you. We had another big argument in her office and I said I want my money back. We drew up a document in English agreeing that she would give me back my 200000 Euros. She signed it and two office workers signed it as witnesses.
I hired an investigator to find out what she was doing and they told me about her business. It was based on outright lies about her product and perhaps she was not doing that well. They couldn’t tell me anything bad about her personally though. I came to the conclusion that I had been swindled at one million Baht.
The private investigator suggested a lawyer who was familiar with these kinds of problems. I went to see him. He represented many Thai girls and foreigners. I told him my story and he asked me if I ever sent messages or emails saying that the money was a gift or that I was to buy a house for her or something to that effect. I said no never it was purely business to buy shares in her business. I told him about the document in English and he said even in English it is valid. He then said we can go to court with this information.
I asked her for the return of my money but there was always some excuse. Weeks passed and she must have thought that she would be able to swindle me without too much hassle ‘I’m not Thai.’ At this point I decided to tell the lawyer to write to her warning her to send the money. He also called her on the mobile to ask her for the return of my money. He must have known which buttons to push because Fawn was furious. ‘Who is this guy? He is very bad. Have my competitors put him up to this? I will give you all your money back but I don’t want to talk to him again.’
Taking Fawn to Court
I thought ‘This lawyer is great.’ Weeks passed and no money materialized. So I decided to go to court. If she was furious before now she was ten times that. Luckily I was in Italy. We had proposed a payment plan with installments over a period of two to three years.
I heard from her Italian speaking friend who said she does not want it to be known that she owes money as she would lose face very bad in Thailand. Her business would be destroyed.
Court day came and she agreed to the terms in front of the judge. The judge also added 18% interest and signed it off. She took me out introduced me to her new business associates who must have been fronting the money and she started paying. Over the period she gave me all my money back plus interest.
I was very lucky. I found a private investigator who took my case to heart and saw that I was a good guy.
Anyway as said I got my money back. I had started a cooking tour business going to Thailand and visited her as a friend a few times the last time in 2015. We’re on good terms now. Her Italian speaking friend told me that she was sorry about the way she had treated me. Fawn seemed genuinely infatuated with me but something had changed. Probably she saw my money and she needed it for her business and she got greedy.
The moral of the story is I didn’t get swindled by a bar girl for a few thousand Baht but I did get swindled by a regular Thai businesswoman for a lot more. Always be on your guard. There is always a scheme made to measure and just for you.”It’s hard enough to make money in your own country understanding the language. So to come to a foreign country where you don’t speak a word of the language and hand over money I just think it’s too much of a risk. I just don’t understand why guys with everything that’s out there on YouTube still do it.
Story Three Koh Samui in the 90s Partying Smashed Windows and the Bangkok Hilton
It was 1993. Me and six rugby buddies decided to spend the New Year in Amsterdam. We were all 22 or 23 at the time and buzzing with being young and partying. In the 1990s we used to hit the clubs in London each weekend and get up to some crazy stuff. We had a great time in Amsterdam at New Year’s.
On the flight back I got chatting with another guy from London and told him I wanted to go traveling and have some great fun. This guy had done lots of traveling. He quickly told me ‘There is only one place on the planet for you guys to travel to Thailand.’
Fast forward three months me and one of my rugby buddies are flying to Bangkok. A lot of people told us before we left ‘You two are going to end up in the Bangkok Hilton’ and they weren’t talking about the five star hotel. We told everyone before we left to have faith we are just going for a chilled out holiday.
Luckily someone gave us a Lonely Planet book before we left and we got chatting to some traveling hippie chicks on the flight to Bangkok who told us to head to Khao San Road and work out a plan.
We had two nights in Bangkok which were wild partying in Bangkok and flying in those tuk tuks after a serious session was great. We stayed on Khao San Road. I would give anything to go back to experience those times. It was strange I was still young but as we flew around Bangkok in that tuk tuk at some crazy speeds while buzzing I knew these times were extra special. And how right I was. Best time of our lives. I’m sure the tuk tuk driver gave it some extra speed as they could see we were loving it.
Selling Shirts on Khao San Road
We flew into Bangkok with half a suitcase of moody Levi t shirts. We quickly sold them on Khao San Road which would pay for some partying. I grew up watching ‘Only Fools and Horses’ and always loved a bit of ducking and diving.
With a serious hangover we entered a travel agent on Khao San Road. Next thing we had two tickets to Ko Phangan. A week later we are partying at a full moon party which was awesome. Next stop was Koh Samui for some more partying. We stayed at Lamai Beach for a week and met up with a great group of English guys in their late 20s and continued the partying. We had a great time.
We then decided to travel to Chaweng and stayed in a nice beach bungalow and continued the partying. We were getting to sleep at 8 AM and waking up at 4 to 5 PM. We then decided we needed to chill out for a while and take a break from partying and see some of Thailand. So we decided to travel to Chiang Mai.
We stayed in Chiang Mai for a few days and then did a jungle trek. Anyone who did a jungle trek back in the 90s knows they were pretty heavy duty you would only get two hours sleep. So back in Chiang Mai after the jungle trek we sat in a bar to work out our next plan of action over a few beers. Quickly we established the only way forward was to spend three days partying in Bangkok as we had such a great time then back to Chaweng on Koh Samui.
Fast forward a week and we are back in Chaweng. At this stage we had spent a serious amount of money. We had a few options one change our return flight and fly home earlier; two stop partying and live the backpacker lifestyle (not a good idea); three get more money sent out and enjoy ourselves for the next six weeks. Option three it was. Luckily we had left some money with one of our friends as a backup who sent it over you always need a backup plan.
We partied away on Chaweng. We met two lovely Thai ladies in a bar in Chaweng that we used to play pool in before we hit the clubs. We spent the next week partying with them and the aerobics were great. Life was good. Problem was our money was running low. No worries it will arrive soon we told ourselves. We told the bar that we had money arriving soon and they said no problem you can run a tab with us. Pay us when your money arrives. So we drank at that bar for the next week. The Thai ladies we were with had no problem they would also get sorted out when our cash arrived.
Waiting for Money on Koh Samui
Back in the 1990s everything was more chilled out but it was a different story getting cash sent over. We would ride to the bank to check if our cash had arrived. We did this trip a few times.
Only one day left in Chaweng. Slightly later as we had been sitting on our balcony smoking and drinking and listening to our Bob Marley tunes we had to race to the bank before it shut at 3 PM. I had ridden a motocross bike in the UK since I was 12 years old and I knew how to handle the bike and I love speed. We both raced to the bank on the same bike a good 60 miles per hour without crash helmets on. If the bike had gone faster we would have been traveling faster tears flowing from our eyes. We arrived at the bank to be told the money still hadn’t arrived.
A day later I was riding the same bike down Chaweng High Street at a slow speed. The inner tube deflated and wrapped itself around the wheel and the bike locked up. Luckily it didn’t happen a day earlier or we would have been seriously injured or worse. People talk about being born with nine lives I feel like I have had 81 lives. Now being older I feel blessed to still be alive as I’ve had so many close shaves.
Anyway the money still hadn’t arrived and the bar and our Thai girlfriends were not going to let us run up any more of a tab. The bar told us ‘Don’t think about leaving the island without paying your bill or things won’t end well for you both.’
We sat on the balcony of our beach bungalow still listening to our Bob Marley tape to try and work out our next plan. Next minute two very sexy farang ladies walked past and gave us a lovely smile. Luckily they were staying in the next bungalow. It didn’t take long before we were sitting on their balcony chatting listening to our tunes chilling out with them and having a drink.
We told them about our situation. They said ‘No problem we can lend you some money for a few days until your cash arrives.’ I think they just wanted to party with us. They were Italian air hostesses both in their late 20s and absolutely drop dead gorgeous. They were enjoying a week’s holiday in Samui. They would be flying back to Bangkok and then doing their next flight with the airline they were working for.
Jealousy on the Beach
After being with many Thai ladies it was great to spend time with some good looking farang ladies. I have to say I was concerned about spending time with the Italian ladies. I knew the Thai ladies from the pool bar would be seriously pissed off if they knew we were hanging out with some farang ladies especially when we had not settled our bar bill. We were discreet. We would travel to the clubs in Chaweng separately from them. We would always have an excuse why we would not meet them.
Anyway one night my Italian girlfriend told me she wanted to make out on the beach in front of our bungalow on the sand. I tried to get her back to our bungalow but didn’t succeed. I knew this was dangerous but hey you only live once. We were getting down to it. My buddy was maybe 25 to 30 feet away with his girlfriend.
All of a sudden I could feel bad energy behind me. Before I looked around I knew my Thai girlfriend from the pool bar was standing behind me. I looked around and to no surprise I had been tracked down. She went absolutely berserk. She was standing there with four of her friends from the bar. She had lost face and was mad.
After me getting a few slaps and kicks as she stormed off I was thinking ‘This isn’t the end of it.’ Then she decided to smash our beach bungalow up. This was going to be expensive. She picked up rocks around the bungalow and put all the front windows through and then stormed off.
The Italian girl sat on the beach together with me and my buddy walked along the beach deciding what to do. There were some long tail boats situated 15 to 20 meters off the beach but they were chained up. I swam out to them to see if I could get them started as I wanted to get off Koh Samui as soon as possible. I quickly realized this wasn’t an option they were chained up and it was too far out.
We told the Italian ladies to have a sleep in their bungalow as the Thai girls didn’t know where they were staying. I was very wary of staying in our bungalow as I knew the Thai police would be visiting in the morning. The sun was rising at this point. The sensible thing would have been to stay with the Italian girls in their bungalow but I’m sure I wanted a bit more excitement crazy now when I look back on it.
Planning Around the Smashed Bungalow
Plan of action you always need a plan of action was to wait until the staff at the beach bungalows had arrived for work. We could explain the situation work out how many Baht we would need to pay to repair the bungalow and try and get the cash from the bank. We wanted to square up with the bar bill pay for the repairs to the bungalow pay the Italian girls and get off Koh Samui as soon as possible.
Not long after Koh Samui started to wake up and business resumed. The Thai police arrived to check out the damage to the bungalow. I don’t know how they arrived so early as the staff from the bungalows were still not on duty. You know in Thailand word gets around really quickly.
When me and my buddy saw the Thai police we ducked into the undergrowth between our bungalow complex and the next set of bungalows trying to make sure we were not seen by them all the time watching them. I will never forget this. There were two Thai police officers walking around our bungalow with their guns drawn. I looked at my buddy and smiled. He loved taking things to the extreme but this was even too much for him and he went a white shaky color. Also some Thai ants crawled all over him. Awesome not a memory you forget.
The Thai police didn’t spend long at the bungalow after they realized that no one was staying in the bungalow and left. 20 or so minutes later the manager from the bungalows arrived for work. Luckily my friend had been enjoying some early evening aerobics with her and she had a soft spot for him. She did her best to help us out.
Later that morning we traveled to the bank again and the money still hadn’t arrived. At this stage we thought the bank was trying to rip us off as it should have definitely arrived by now.
We went back to chat with the Italian girls. They offered to lend us the money to clear the bar bill pay for the damage to the bungalow and travel back to Bangkok as they could see the bad situation we were in. We assured them we would pay the money back. Not long after we were on the ferry back to the mainland after clearing our debts.
Getting Cash in Bangkok
The Italian girls flew back to Bangkok. We arranged to meet them in Bangkok. They were staying in the Bangkok Hilton and we managed to smuggle ourselves in. We enjoyed 48 hours with them in a luxurious hotel.
We visited the Bangkok bank manager and spoke to him. I was notified that our money had arrived in Koh Samui but we couldn’t withdraw it because it was in Koh Samui. After talking to the bank manager for over one hour we were walking out of the bank with our cash. I shook the bank manager’s hand after he gave me the cash. Later on the Italian ladies asked me why I had shaken his hand the money he had given us was ours. I don’t think they understood the Thai system.
We had enough money to pay the Italian girls back and party for a few days before our flight home. We partied in Patpong with them. It was emotional saying goodbye to them.
We traveled back to Koh Samui which was a bit of a downer after being in the Bangkok Hilton. Funny thing a few of the market traders on Khao San Road were wearing the Mickey Mouse Levi t shirts as if they were The Real McCoy. We partied for two more days and flew home.
You think after that adventure you would give Koh Samui a miss for a few years. But 12 months later we were back there partying again as if nothing had happened. The following years were good but couldn’t match our first time in Koh Samui.
Looking back on the adventure it was a once in a lifetime experience. Our buddies back home were right we were going to end up in the Bangkok Hilton. Luckily for us it was the hotel. Nearly 30 years later I still smile when I think of this adventure. To be honest we were too crazy to be in Thailand in our early 20s. We always pushed things to the extremes in the UK but when you travel to Thailand it’s different it’s a different story. Luckily things worked out for us.
Missing Thailand in the Nineties
I would give anything to be able to travel back to the Land of Smiles in the 1990s absolutely awesome. Anyone who was there will know what I’m talking about.”
Story Four Airport Meetings and Public Displays of Affection
Here’s a quickie story for you. I’m an old dog age 76 who has been going backwards and forwards to Thailand over the last 12 years.
I personally love to be met when I land at a foreign airport. As a frequent flyer it’s nice to be met by friendly faces after a long flight. Apart from that you know in advance that there will be no hassle looking around for a taxi at the right price. Who needs a few minutes of haggling after spending 12 hours on an aircraft?
Even though my story concerns the Philippines it makes no difference whether it’s Manila Airport or Bangkok Airport as they say in Thailand ‘same same.’ However there are one or two points to bear in mind about being met.
My first trip to the Philippines was nine years ago. I had met someone nice by online dating at Date In Asia. By her photo she was a very beautiful girl. Her age was right much younger than me but mature enough at the age of 37. I had been warned by a neighbor that Manila wasn’t an appealing city so all I wanted to do was land there rest a night or two and get out of there quite fast with a local woman who knew their way around.
As arranged she was there waiting for me as I exited the arrivals lounge. Till then we had only exchanged text messages and photos over the few weeks before my arrival we hadn’t talked by video conferencing. Anyway we had a quick kiss got into the waiting taxi and sped off to the hotel. Afterwards she told me that she was embarrassed to be seen in public by strangers hugging and kissing a foreigner.
Airport Meetings Create Commitment
My first few nights with her were great aerobics nice restaurants and sightseeing. No need to add any more. Two days later we took a flight to another part of the Philippines. In short I quickly realized that she wasn’t the girl for me beautiful yes but emotionally unbalanced. If you are in your own country then this is a situation that you can get out of quickly or gradually as you discover her character and personality. But in this situation by agreeing to be met at the airport I had set up my own ambush.
If a girl that you don’t know meets you at the airport you have a sense of commitment to be with her. It’s not a matter of a coffee or a dinner or ‘Hello nice to meet you’ and chit chat to sum her up. So my advice to all guys landing in Thailand is do not arrange to meet a new lady at the airport. You limit your possibilities of being free to choose and look around from day one.
At the other end of the scale on your departure I have a few words to say about leaving the country. After you have spent time with a lady and it’s evident that the chemistry worked you must decide whether or not she will accompany you to the airport. Thai ladies are not keen to express emotion in public.
On the other hand you may feel that you want to kiss and hug her after you have taken your baggage out of the taxi or in the departure hall before check in. You may even have fallen completely overboard for her and tears are welling up in your eyes. It’s then that you may discover how she really feels about you. Till then she has told you in private that she loves you and will miss you. But suddenly after all the lovemaking you may feel disappointed by her lack of emotion. After all your next trip may be in six months or a year’s time. You may have even agreed to send her money every month. You may have emptied your last thousand Baht from your wallet because you can’t be bothered exchanging it for your own currency. You don’t want to leave her and look forward to a long kiss goodbye.
And what happens? She may give you a quick hug and a lightning peck on the lips. It is important to understand the cultural difference between East and West. We express emotions in public they don’t. It’s as simple as that.
Lastly I have found it to be a very rare case where you will see a local lady crying in public. Newbies should understand the business of saving face. It’s a matter of the right behavior in public by Thai people. So try to understand their culture and lower your expectations.
Thailand as the Fountain of Youth
That’s all I have to say about comings and goings from airports. My next trip to Thailand will be in April this year. For me it’s the Fountain of Youth much better than all the pills and medicines I take. These young ladies regenerate me. Add to that the calm Buddhist culture the food the massages and the cheap good quality hotels that I can enjoy as an old man living on his pension. I will keep returning to the Land of Smiles as long as I’m fit and as long as I’m healthy.
