15-Month Relationship From Thailand Paradise to Heartbreak

I don’t know where to start, but I will give it my best shot. I first came to Thailand 21 years ago, met many bar girls and freelancers, and enjoyed the whole experience. It’s been my life’s dream to return someday to live here. I think most men, young and old, feel that way once they visit Thailand.

I finally did get the opportunity to come back to Thailand a year and a half ago. I drove right into the action. I lived in Nana, where all the action is: bars, girls, massage parlors, you name it, it’s all right there. It’s like a little paradise on Earth. I think it must be one of the happiest places on the planet, full of energy and excitement, and for someone who never had much luck with the ladies in America, it only added to the enjoyment.

I met and brought back to my condo about 8 to 10 girls over a time period. I don’t remember them all because I mostly only knew them for about 2 or 3 hours. I’m 57 years old and I’m in pretty good shape or at least I’d like to think so but I still am 57.

When I came 21 years ago, the girls I brought back seemed to like to stay the night or hang out longer. They weren’t in such a rush to get their tip and get out of the room. This time, it seems they all want to hurry up and get on with it. It puts a lot of pressure on you; it really just kills the mood. I don’t want to treat these girls badly, but they force me to make it that way sometimes. It’s really not my style.

I never ask them for long term deals because I want to see if they are willing to stick around on their own accord. I mean, it used to be that way for me. I guess things have changed some. They all give me their LINE numbers as they leave me all alone in my room, thinking I will call for seconds. I never do. If they were in such a hurry to get out, then I will keep looking until I find one that isn’t in such a big hurry.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was possible anymore until I met one girl. She wasn’t a bar girl or at least when I met her, she wasn’t. She was having a drink down the street from my condo. A waitress acquainted with her wanted to introduce me to her. She was sitting alone at a street side bar table. At first glance, I thought she dressed badly with her red and black lumberjack style shirt. She looked older than any other girl I had met so far, but she had a pretty face though a little plump. It didn’t look like she took great care of her weight or body. She was friendly, but not really my type or so I thought.

We exchanged numbers, and I set up a date with her at Terminal 21. She stood me up. I called her after 15 minutes, and she acted confused but said she would leave now. She lived at least an hour away. I said, “Forget it,” and that was it. But she called me about 4 days later and said the funniest thing: “I don’t think you like me much, do you?” I thought to myself she stood me up and then said this 4 days later. I actually found it somewhat charming that she could think that way.
We began chatting after the call, and I basically just came straight out and asked her what she expected out of a date with me. I was satisfied with her answer, so we agreed to meet. She wanted to meet me at my condo, and that’s where it all began. It was the best aerobics I had ever had in my life.

Warning Signs in a 15-Month Relationship

We saw each other about one night a week after that. I was usually ready for her to go home the next day since we didn’t really know each other that well and I had no emotional connection to her. Sometimes she would want to stay an extra day for free, and I thought she might really like me.

I’ve been seeing her for 15 months now. For the most part, I never thought she really had too many other things going on in her life besides her two grown kids, dog, and cat in Lat Krabang. She was always available whenever I asked to see her. I felt like she was always sitting around just waiting for me to call her. She was so much fun to talk to, and we connected very well. She was almost like a soulmate too good to be true.

Then she mentioned about 6 months after I met her that she was applying for a visa to Sweden. She said it was innocent and that five other girls or friends of hers would be gone as well, and that it was a seasonal thing where they could go and get high paying employment.

The time eventually came when she was really going to leave me to go to Sweden for 3 months. She had been pressing me to wait for her and that she didn’t want me to leave her when she came back. I asked her not to message me when she got out there as I didn’t want that kind of relationship. I was honest and told her that when she got back, we’d see if I was still interested in her or not. I never met another girl during the time she was away that I thought was better than her, so when she came back, I was fine.

It did bother me though about what she was doing over there. She sent a lot of pictures of her picking blueberries and mushrooms. I wanted to believe her that nothing was going on.

The Swedish Guy and a Broken Relationship

It’s been about 4 months since she’s been back, and we see each other a lot as we did before, but this time it seems she is a little less available. I get the feeling that she has something more going on than before she left. I am well aware that she probably has something going on from time to time, and of course I’m not happy about it nor do I like to think about it. I just try to focus on the time I get to have with her.

I recently found a video she took at my condo with me by her side watching the last full moon. A social media algorithm sent it to me, showing a comment from a 60 year old Swedish guy who had commented on many of her videos. My heart sank. I messaged him asking who he was, but he never responded. She took the video down.

She always told me she didn’t like jealous guys. I was never jealous, but as time went on I developed feelings for her. I started giving her a lot of things because I cared, but it didn’t make much difference except when she was with me, she’d go the extra mile, but I wouldn’t see her any more often.

Today I tried to ask her about it, hoping she could ease my worries, but she wasn’t convincing enough. She denied sleeping with him but didn’t have a real answer about who he was. The way I see it, some random guy shows up on my phone commenting on her video taken at my condo, and she never sent it to me. After a few exchanges, I wasn’t buying her story. It made me face the sad reality: she doesn’t love me. She couldn’t or she would do something to put my worries at rest.

I suggested she come see me and prove nothing was going on, but she didn’t, not because she wouldn’t, but because she couldn’t. As much as I gave her and as long as we’ve been together, you’d think that she would at least just once show me that I mattered most. But she didn’t.

In the end, she asked if I was drunk or crazy. I just said I was in love and that it hurt too much to continue. I knew when her last message was “good night” that she had to get back to whatever guy she was with. I told her to never contact me again.

Don’t think that I’m being ignorant or should have known better. I always know the problem is that the longer you stay with the same girl, the more it’s going to hurt in the end. She even warned me about jealousy earlier on. I never thought I would be that guy, but I did become him. Now I’m back to square one, and I will do it all over again with somebody new.

Story 2: From Heartbreak in India to a Life-Changing Night in Pattaya

I’m an educated Indian guy of 31 years old with a decent job and a decent salary. Like most people, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak. During my college days, I fell head over heels for a girl who turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. She had just come out of a bad relationship and used me as her emotional crutch. I became her unpaid therapist, her personal assistant, her food delivery guy basically everything she needed. She leaned on me for everything except being an actual relationship.

I was so infatuated with her that I couldn’t see the obvious. She never responded to my feelings, and looking back, it was painfully clear that she never intended to. I was a complete idiot doing everything for her without expecting much in return other than her love and attention. I listened to her talk endlessly about her ex, drove her around whenever she needed a ride, and spent hours helping her with assignments. I was the guy she called at 2:00 a.m. when she was upset and needed someone to talk to. But when she found a new boyfriend, she dropped me like a bad habit. Her new guy told her to cut all ties with me, and she did so without hesitation no goodbyes, no explanation, just complete silence.

It was devastating. Her actions sent me spiraling into a deep depression, and it took me a long time to claw my way out of that dark place.

The Pact to Stay Single After Heartbreak

To add insult to injury, my cousin, someone I admired and looked up to, was going through a messy divorce at the same time. We bonded over our shared misery, spending hours venting about how women had wronged us. We made a pact to swear off relationships entirely.

In our culture, arranged marriages are common, and families are deeply involved in the process. When my parents thought it was time for me to settle down, they began bringing up proposals. I, however, was still reeling from the emotional scars left by that last girl. I told my parents I wasn’t interested in marriage. They were heartbroken and tried their best to convince me otherwise, but I stood my ground. Eventually, they gave up, though the disappointment lingered in the air.

Life moved on. I threw myself into work and convinced myself that staying single was the best way to protect myself from heartbreak. But deep down, I felt a void. Seeing couples at work, in restaurants, and at weddings often made me envious, though I buried those feelings very deep down.

The Trip to Thailand After Heartbreak

Then came an unexpected opportunity. After completing a major project at work, our team was rewarded with some time off and a decent bonus. Two of my single friends from the office invited me on a trip to Thailand. They promised a relaxing holiday filled with beaches, good food, temples, and shopping. With nothing else going on in my life, I agreed to join them.

It wasn’t until the flight took off that they revealed their true intentions the trip was primarily about indulging with the ladies. I was furious. The idea of traveling to another country and paying for the locals disgusted me. We had a heated argument mid-flight, but there wasn’t much I could do at that point. Determined not to participate in their plans, I decided to create my own itinerary and explore Thailand on my own terms.

We landed, traveled to Pattaya, and checked into our hotel. While my friends immediately set off on their pursuits, I stayed back. I spent the evening lounging by the pool with a drink and a book, trying to shake off the frustration.

The Night in Pattaya That Changed Everything

Later that night, unable to sleep and feeling hungry, I decided to venture out to find something to eat. I remembered spotting a pizza place nearby and headed in that direction. The streets of Pattaya at night were a sensory overload: neon lights, loud music, and lots of people created a hectic yet fascinating atmosphere.

As I walked, I noticed rows of bars with women sitting outside dressed in very sexy outfits and calling out to passersby. Their outfits and body language made it clear that they were working in the bars. It was all so open, and I had never seen anything like this. While part of me felt uncomfortable, another part couldn’t help but be curious.

As I approached the pizza shop, I couldn’t help but notice a pattern Western men, many of them older and heavier, were being enticed into the bars while I was completely ignored. It stung my ego. Was I so unattractive that even these women, who were paid to entertain, didn’t find me worth their time?

After finishing my meal, I decided to walk around and take in the sights. My curiosity grew with every step. Eventually, I came across a club advertising cheap beer and featuring beautiful women outside. I hesitated, unsure of what to expect. The rejection I had felt earlier nagged at me, and my wounded pride pushed me to step inside. I wanted to know why I had been overlooked and whether I really was as undesirable as I feared.

The moment I walked in, I was stunned. The club’s interior was dimly lit, with music blaring and spotlights highlighting a stage where women were dancing, and some of them were topless. I froze, my mind struggling to process what I was seeing. Up until that moment, I had only seen this stuff in movies or online.

One of the dancers caught my attention almost immediately. She had a body that seemed straight out of a magazine, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Our eyes met, and I quickly looked away, feeling a wave of shyness. But when I glanced back, she smiled at me. Her smile was warm and inviting, and for the first time that night, I felt a strange mix of excitement and nervousness.

After her performance, the girl came straight over to me. She introduced herself as Aom and sat down next to me. I was trembling with nerves, but I couldn’t help feeling captivated by her presence.

Aom and a New Perspective on Love

Aom was friendly and engaging, asking me questions about myself and making me feel like the most interesting person in the room. For someone who had spent most of his life feeling invisible to women, this was an entirely new experience. When I mentioned it was my first time in Thailand and my first visit to a bar like this, she laughed and spoke to the manager in Thai. Moments later, the manager approached me to explain how things worked. For a fee, Aom could come back to my hotel.

I hesitated. I was torn between my moral reservations and the intoxicating allure of her attention. After a couple more drinks and some internal debate, I decided to take the plunge. Aom suggested we visit a nightclub on Walking Street first, and I agreed. We danced and drank like there was no tomorrow. It was at that club that I experienced my first kiss.

By the time we returned to my hotel, I was intoxicated, both from the alcohol and the thrill of the night. That night, I had my first intimate experience.

The next morning, I told Aom I wanted her to stay with me for the remainder of my trip. She agreed but explained that she’d have to have compensation to cover her missed days at work and rent. I readily offered to take care of her. Over the next 3 days, Aom gave me a glimpse of what it felt like to have a companion, a holiday girlfriend. We visited tourist spots, shared meals, and talked about our lives. I knew our time together was transactional, but I didn’t let that spoil my time with her.

Saying goodbye was difficult, though I was prepared for it. Aom had given me something invaluable a taste of companionship and a renewed perspective on life.

I returned home with memories that stayed with me for weeks. Today, I am happily married though an arranged setup but I often think of Aom and the impact she had on me. She showed me that being closed off and avoiding relationships out of fear was a mistake. Every person we meet serves a purpose, and Aom’s purpose was to teach me the value of connection and to open my heart to the possibilities of love.

Story 3: A First-Time Phuket Adventure After a Decade-Long Engagement

My first story begins in 2022.

For background, I’m a fairly good-looking guy, Caucasian, over 6 feet tall, who works out 6 days a week and makes a good living in the United States, where I’m from. At 36, I was engaged to be married to a girl who I really loved and had been with for over a decade. We had been engaged for a few months, and I decided to take her with me to Vietnam, where I had business. We had a good time, but it was the tail end of our trip where some friends invited us to spend a week in Phuket that things got interesting.

I should start by saying two things. This was my first time in Thailand, and my fiancée and I had a long history of having relationships with other people. She is multi gender attracted, and earlier on in our relationship we had aerobics with dozens of other ladies both together and separately. I felt that I had sewn my wild oats, so to speak, and had happily resigned myself to being with one woman for the rest of my life. Those days were far behind us as we were focused on marriage and family or so I thought.

The First Massage in Phuket

We landed in Phuket, hopped into a van that I paid entirely too much money for. As we drove through the streets headed to our villa, I got to take in the beautiful sights of a whole new country: the people, the statues, temples, and I was very happy thinking about the adventure that awaited us.

We spent a day or two relaxing in the villa, drinking, and going to restaurants. My fiancée very badly wanted to go get massages, which I somewhat nervously agreed to. The first massage was a nightmare for me. We were in the same room separated by a sheet. As we walked in, two older ladies came to massage us. After we got undressed and situated, I lay down on the table, and a different masseuse came into my area not the older ladies from before.

Suffice to say that I spent the better part of 2 hours trying not to get too excited while her hands explored areas not covered in previous massages stateside, and the last minute of the massage trying to explain that I didn’t want the pretty woman in front of me to touch a certain area of my body all of this with nothing but a sheet and a couple of meters between us and the woman I was set to marry.

Bangla Road and Suzie Wong’s Go-Go Bar

That evening, my friend suggested where we should go, a place called Bangla Road. I had no idea what we were getting into. When we arrived in Patong, we did what everyone does: we had some drinks and had a fun time. As the night went on, my friends (a married couple) headed home, and my fiancée wanted to stay out so we did.

As we walked around, I started to see a familiar glimmer in her eye and stopped her to say, “Listen, I see you looking at the girls, and that’s incredibly exciting. If you want to have fun, I will be right there with you but I am just as happy going home and spending the night with you.” She nodded and grabbed the first lady holding a placard advertising a ping pong show.

In just a few moments, I went from a relaxing evening with the love of my life in a tropical paradise to sitting on a red leather sofa watching a dimly lit stage where an unattractive older lady danced while six other Thai women grinded on both of us, asking for lady drinks.

The next stop was Suzie Wong’s go go bar, where the girls on stage were so much higher quality real stunners, actually. We had fun there, got lap dances from a few girls, and bought them drinks. We saw an older gentleman from the US with what seemed to be every girl in the club who wasn’t on stage. He was having the time of his life, and he had purchased an entire cart of lady drinks that they wheeled out to his table. We laughed and gestured about how he was getting tricked that none of those beautiful women would ever go back to his hotel with him. Boy, were we wrong.

After we left, we went to get some food and ended up at a kebab shop right near the beach at the entrance to Bangla Road. While we were eating, I noticed her eyes focus in on something, and her jaw literally dropped. I turned to see the elderly gentleman from Suzie Wong’s walking with three of the girls on his arms as they hopped into a tuk tuk and left together. We really didn’t know how things worked in the bar scene but we were about to find out.

Crazy Girls and a Night in Phuket

As we walked back down the road one last time, she turned to me and said, “Crazy Girls that place sounds fun.” And off we were. Crazy Girls was a bit lower quality than Suzie Wong’s the girls weren’t as beautiful, but they were aggressive. In just 10 minutes, my fiancée was receiving friendly attention from a lively Thai woman while another engaged me in conversation about local customs, playfully gesturing towards my clothing.

Again I looked at my fiancée, and again I saw her outstretched hand this time asking for bar fine money. I was half enjoying what was going on and half trying to be the responsible one, thinking of logistics. Long story short, we paid the bar fines, and they escorted us into two separate back rooms. I walked in on them having a good time. Although one thing people don’t seem to talk about is how much more risky the bar girl thing is for women. I for one took necessary precautions, but observing their actions, it was clear that some situations simply don’t offer absolute safeguards. This was unnerving to me, and I felt like getting out of there.

We thanked them, tipped the ladies, and headed home for the night. When we got home, we talked a bit and got up to some of our own aerobics from all of the excitement. We agreed that this trip would be like one last party before settling down. All in all, a great night.

The Goddess, Bar Fines, and a Broken Engagement

The next night, we went back to Bangla Road, returning to our new favorite club. The same tan-skinned goddess greeted me, and the night continued like the last with me holding out hoping that she would change her mind and come out with us. This time, after a few hours and a lot of lady drinks, I asked again, and her excuse this time was that it was “that time of the month.” That very well could have been true, but seeing as we were leaving the next day, I decided I couldn’t waste any more time or money on her.

We thanked her with a big tip and moved to the other side of the club, where my fiancée was swarmed by a lot of girls who didn’t quite do it for me. I took a quick break to the restroom. I was a bit disappointed. Like I said, that woman was a goddess. I knew it was all smoke and mirrors, but I felt like I was falling in love, as stupid as that sounds. Let it be a warning to those who think they are totally immune to the charms of a Thai bar girl.

As I left the restroom, I thought we would leave at any moment. I’d pay the bill, and we’d probably go home as it was late. Just as I sat down, the goddess returned, asking if I wanted her to sit with me. But just as she spoke, I saw a really attractive girl curvy who looked remarkably similar to an American film star. I politely declined her request and asked her, “What about that girl over there? Can I bar fine her?” She smiled, went and talked to the girl, and after a few moments they both came back. Within 15 minutes, we were on our way to a hotel room with this new girl. This was a lot of fun, and my fiancée really liked her. We had fantastic aerobics, and I tipped her handsomely.

Skipping ahead, we left Phuket and headed home. After about 2 weeks, my fiancée moved out without saying a word. We made up and she came back, but she moved out again close to a year later. I wish it were as obvious as it seems, but we didn’t work out for a lot of reasons none of which have anything to do with Thailand so I will spare you the details.

That is the story of my first trip to Phuket. I have been three times now, and I am going back next month.