Freelancer Warning Signs for a Night Out in Thailand
One thing I noticed straight away is tattoos. I’m not talking about small butterflies on the shoulder. I mean girls who are heavily covered in random tattoos that look like they were done in backstreet shops. It might sound harsh, but tattoos done in dodgy places often mean dirty needles and that can spread disease. So my rule is simple: if she looks like a coloring book, I walk away.
The Handbag Routine and What It Reveals
Another thing is the handbag or backpack. A common routine when a freelancer comes to your room is she heads straight for the shower. Before she goes in, I always pick up her bag and place it somewhere in plain sight. I tell her straight: keep your bag where I can see it. That stops anyone trying to set you up later by claiming something went missing while she was in the bathroom. As Peter has said many times, some of these girls can be clever in ways you do not want to experience.
The Minibar Trap in a Hotel Room
Then there is the minibar trap. Before I go out for the evening, I remove everything from the minibar and lock it in the safe and I always take a photo first to remember how everything was arranged. There is nothing worse than coming back later with a lady only to discover that somebody with sticky fingers has emptied your drinks. The hotel will charge you four times the real price. So do not leave temptation sitting there.
Discussing Money Before Returning to a Hotel
Money discussions are another major red flag area. Always agree the price clearly before anything happens. And if she wants some money in advance, I treat it like a restaurant: we eat first and then we pay. If she demands cash up front, I give her a token amount for her time and show her the bedroom door. Then I move on and look for somebody else who is more reasonable.
I prefer a little humor when they start the negotiation. When a girl asks me how much I will give her, I sometimes say, “I want it for free and you want 1 million baht. So we are both wrong. Now she should tell me her price and I will say yes or no.”
Why Clear Time Expectations Matter
Time is another thing people misunderstand. One hour does not mean she is there to discuss world politics or Bible stories after you have finished. Look at it as paying her to leave, not to stay. If you start expecting romance or deep conversation with a freelancer, you will likely end up disappointed.
When a Freelancer Brings a Friend
Another situation to avoid is when she brings a friend. Suddenly, you have two strangers in your room and two people who can back each other up if they decide to make up a story. If one girl is already a risk, then two is pure madness. Walk away from that one.
Hygiene and Health Concerns for Travelers
Hygiene is not a subject people like to discuss, but it is important. If she has bruises on the inside of her elbow or around her ankles, those could be needle marks. If she looks sleepy or spaced out, she might be using something. Missing or rotten teeth can also be a warning sign. I always check hair, nails and skin because if a girl cannot look after herself, she’s not going to care about you. Stay alert and judge what you see.
The Pain Tactic and Other Pressure Tricks
Pain is another strange tactic. If she starts talking about pain before anything even begins, that is a big warning sign for me. I have been caught out three times and nobody cares if you complain. It is awkward when she is already talking about feeling pain before you have even opened the TV guide. Once I even told a girl she should apply for a job at an ice cream shop because she clearly was not suited for this type of work. In situations like that, just pay and move on.
From Rock Bottom to a New Life in Soi 6
Hi Peter, I’ve been listening to your channel stories for a long time and enjoy it very much. Today, I decided to share my own story as well. It might come out a bit long, so feel free to shorten it at your will or make adjustments wherever you see fit. I trust you with my story and only send it to you as I can tell you are genuine and have been doing this for a long time.
Divorce, Debt and Despair Before Thailand
I come from a Western country which I do not want to share for privacy concerns. In my late 20s, I married who I then thought was the love of my life. During our time as a married couple, I also started my own business. The future seemed bright. However, life did not really go as planned.
After 1 to 2 years of marriage, we started trying to have our first child but did not manage. It turned out I had a male fertility issue. This started to cause a lot of friction. With the relationship going downhill, my business also started to run into financial troubles. I was about 32 to 33 when my wife told me she had an important announcement. We sat down, but she kept her distance. She was looking at me with a serious face and told me she was pregnant. I quickly figured out that it could not be mine. That is how she basically decided to share that she was having an affair.
Needless to say, I was devastated. We broke up and I had no motivation to keep going. My business was losing money. I eventually decided to cut my losses and sell. To cover my losses, I had to take a pretty big loan. I moved in with my parents to save as much as I could. After a while, I started working as a security guard in a textile factory at night, just sitting there looking at cameras.
As the months passed, loneliness started creeping in. I tried my luck with various dating apps. However, a now mid 30s balding divorced guy in debt who is living with his parents was not a very desirable prospect for most ladies. Eventually, I was done with that, too. I had really lost all motivation. I was just passing time aimlessly, lonely, and depressed with nothing to live for.
Discovering Thailand After a Difficult Divorce
While spending so many nights at the guard post, I was scrolling on social media a lot. That is when the algorithm gods started showing me clips of Thailand, and especially Pattaya and Soi 6. I was blown away by this. I remember thinking, there is no way this is reality, where young attractive girls in revealing outfits just fight for your attention like this.
Fascinated by this, I started digging more and more, and eventually came to YouTube and your channel, Peter, which was a great friend of mine during all those long night shifts. I listened to almost all your stories and enjoyed them, and also learned from them a lot. With time, a new passion emerged, and my new found goal was to go to Thailand and experience this for myself.
A First Night Nightmare in Soi Cowboy
At around 10 or 11 at night, I felt ready to finally step into the notorious Thailand nightlife. I finally reached Soi Cowboy. I could not bring myself to just walk inside it the first time. I kept walking away for no reason. Anyway, I finally walked inside. The bright colors, the noise, and of course, the ladies dazzled me.
I was quickly grabbed by two beautiful girls outside a go go bar. They sat me inside a dark, quiet, isolated part of the bar. Quickly, they started asking me for drinks. I did not even know or ask what the prices were. Soon enough, a third girl joined us. I found myself surrounded by three stunners dancing and grinding around me. Of course, they kept asking me for more drinks. I think every few minutes I bought them all a round.
After about 30 minutes of pure dopamine came the bill. It was presented by three quite big and intimidating looking Thai men. It was about 16,000 baht. My enjoyment quickly turned to despair. I did not think I’d bought that many drinks, but I was a foreigner in a shady place. I felt intimidated and ashamed, so I just caved in and gave them what they asked for. That was a sum I thought would last for at least a couple of days, but I learned my harsh lesson.
Meeting B in Pattaya
After that night, I was determined to not be as careless. As the third night approached, I finally made my way to the place that made me want to go on this vacation in the first place. I was going to Soi 6. I think this has to be the best place on this whole godforsaken Earth.
I had to walk very close to one particular bar girl. Let’s call her B. A young Thai girl, looks to be in her early 20s, tanned, dark long hair, and brown eyes, soft face which was beautiful and looked innocent. She wasn’t pushy. She just looked back and smiled gracefully. For a moment, that felt like the most genuine interaction in the midst of all this chaos.
Of course, I gladly agreed to go with her to the bar she worked for. We had a couple of drinks and what I can definitely say felt like great chemistry between us. I know the ‘she’s different’ cliché, but she really was. The hour went by so fast, and she wasn’t pushy with drinks at all. During this time, we also kissed a lot mostly initiated by her.
Imagine after this kind of divorce and years of loneliness, I finally felt loved and desirable. The validation was intoxicating. It was probably the best night of my adult life.
From that point onwards, B was the only thing on my mind. I bar fined and paid her 4,000 baht every night for the next 3 nights. By the last night, I had really used up all of my savings and went a little over budget. I told her on LINE that I would come and drink with her a little bit, but I would not be able to pay for her time outside of the bar. She told me she liked me a lot and she wouldn’t mind spending the last night with me for free. I only needed to pay the bar fine.
Returning Home with a New Perspective
The last morning was especially rough, waking up to this beautiful creature that finally showed me the affection I was craving so desperately, knowing I had to leave. We said our goodbyes and promised to stay in touch via LINE.
After returning home, we did talk every day for a while, but after a week or so, she sent me a photo of a new motorbike in a shop with a price tag of 60,000 baht and asked me if I could help. This request kind of shattered the illusion a little bit. I somehow brought myself to say no. She said it was okay and she understood my situation. We proceeded to talk a little bit more, but quickly I noticed her interest was fading. I don’t judge her. I understand she needs the money to make ends meet.
Today, it’s been a couple of months since the trip. From being completely aimless, I now have the goal of being better prepared physically, mentally, and financially for my next Thailand adventure. I’m not sure if it would be a good idea to see B again, but I might not be able to resist wanting to meet her again.
A Four-Year Courtship Built on Honesty
In 2015, I was coming to grips with several key issues in my life. During this year, I had both my knee joints replaced, started active planning for my retired life (which would begin in December 2016), and was trying to decide if I wanted to continue my marriage to my wife of over 40 years.
I got interested in traveling to Thailand because of a friend of mine who had married a Thai woman as his second wife. She was delightful. I decided to focus on Thailand as a retirement trip destination because of my friend. He had bought a condo in Bangkok and offered me free use of it for the trip.
Finding Kiki on Thai Friendly
In 2015, I joined Thai Friendly and started talking to a few women from Thailand. After a month or so, I decided to concentrate on two women who spoke possible English. They both knew I would not be traveling to Thailand for 2 years. For the next 2 years, I talked with them almost every day. We explored our dreams, the frustrations of daily life, and our goals for the future.
I then met Kiki. She was a very honest woman. We started talking because she wanted to improve her English. She was a head accountant for a Japanese company in Thailand. Within the first 2 weeks, she told me she was raising two children, and they were her world. Since in Thailand most men will not look romantically at a woman who has children, she wanted to let me know early on.
I told her that it did not bother me. I told her I enjoyed being a father and a grandfather. As my trip to Thailand neared, I decided to concentrate on Kiki. She made excellent money for Thailand, had a car, and had a house. I knew for a fact that she did not need my money to save her from a life of poverty. Unlike a number of Thai women, she insisted on keeping her children with her and did not send them back to grandma in the province.
The First Meeting with Kiki
I retired December 20, 2016. I met my Thai girl on January 4th, 2017, and we spent time together during the 6 weeks I was in Thailand. She had a very busy schedule with work and children, so we did not spend all our time together. But she was very sweet, honest, and charming. She gave me hope for the future.
Kiki spent the 6 weeks making sure I did not think she was after my money. She often paid for our meals out and refused to take any money for the many things I did for her. She said I spent so much to get to Thailand, she wanted me to relax and enjoy her country.
On the first trip, I never saw her house, and she told me I would not see her children because she did not want to get their hopes up about this American man. But after a month, she brought the children by to meet me one Saturday afternoon. It was awkward because I did not speak Thai and the children did not speak English, but we got along well.
Proposing and Moving to Thailand
I returned for an additional 3 weeks at the end of 2017. On this trip, we rented a condo near where the children attended private school. We all lived together during that trip, and I got to see her real life in Bangkok. It was on this trip I asked her to marry me and move to the US. She said yes, providing she could visit my house and town and see if it were a good fit for her children.
In April 2018, she got a visa to visit and brought her ticket to come see me. We spent 10 days together. I showed her my town and arranged for her to talk to the local school system about the English as a second language program. Before she left, we filled out the forms required for a fiancé visa.
In January 2019, I returned to visit Bangkok again. On this 4 week trip, I married Kiki in a Buddhist marriage ceremony so her family and friends could share our joy. We did not register the marriage so it did not complicate our fiancé visa process. In May 2019, she and her children moved to the USA, and we were married a week later.
Building a Happy Marriage in Thailand
We have now been married for 6 years and have been very happy as a family. Her daughter, who is now 22 years old, graduated with honors from the local high school and got nearly a full ride scholarship to a local private university. Her son is in his second year of high school and learning how to drive. My wife insisted on working to help support the family, and she is now head accountant for a local not for profit organization.
I think our success where so many others fail is based on our similar life experiences. We both have college degrees, we both worked in technical fields, we both had managerial experience, and we love to talk and share life experiences with each other. From the time I started talking to her until we were married was over 4 years. So in the end, I did not rush into marriage, and we had lots of time to get to know each other. My wife has always been very honest with me, and we are both committed to making this marriage work.
