Phuket Love Conditions

In October 2020/21 I started talking to a beautiful then 35 year old Thai lady on the language exchange app HelloTalk. As our online relationship started to grow we talked pretty much non stop indeed on some weekend nights we would literally spend seven hours talking.

Then in March 2022 we finally met in Phuket where I completed the sandbox. At that stage she was blunt I was in terrible shape. I was extremely overweight and she could tell that I had some other physical conditions namely a bad leg and a club foot. So I had to be honest with her about those conditions. She stayed with me throughout the rest of the holiday and on our final night together she asked that I return to see her as soon as possible.

So I returned in June and was able to shed quite a bit of weight when I was back home by cutting out the takeaways and fatty foods and vowing to myself that I would walk at least 10 miles a day around my area of Birmingham. Fast forward to June and she was delighted with how much weight I had lost in those eight weeks. I’d gone from a 34 inch waist to a 32 inch waist went from a large t shirt size to a medium t shirt size. I am five foot nine. Things were looking positive albeit with the aforementioned physical conditions that are noticeable. She was honest and said that she really wants me to get those fixed and obviously I really want to.

Then fast forward to October 2022 and my return to Thailand. During the 16 weeks I was away I hit the gym pretty much every day and stuck to the same diet I was on between March and June. She was really impressed by the progress that I had made.

However on Sunday night when I finally got around to asking her whether she finally wanted to take the plunge and make our relationship official she broke down in tears and said that due to my various health conditions i.e. my leg and my feet she cannot be in a relationship with me until they’re fixed. Because she knows how that would look to the outside world. ‘Is she only with me for my money?’ She loves my heart and says that she’s never been in love with someone who is as caring loving and emotionally supportive as I am. I want to stress at this stage that only one time has she ever asked me for any money and that was when she was housebound with COVID back in August.

She doesn’t want to lose me and is crying at the thought but whether those are crocodile tears remains to be seen.

Love and Appearance Problems

She says that she is cursing destiny and says that she wants to move to the UK where to our credit people are judged more by the content of their character rather than their appearance which from my time spent living abroad is in contrast to how things are in large parts of the world. The other option is I get my physical conditions fixed but both options are I expect an impossibility.

My own thoughts though are that I am done. Whenever we touch hug and kiss I don’t feel that special connection between us anymore and I think that she’s starting to notice. A part of me hopes that we can be together but basic common sense dictates that things have run their course.

I have told her that as time is running out on her biological clock and I am concerned that if she is waiting for me for too long she will miss the opportunity to have children. If she wants to break it off then I will completely understand and wouldn’t hate her for it. She’s been honest with me after all. But she doesn’t want to have children yet she wants to wait until I’ve exhausted all possible solutions to the problem. But let’s be honest there’s only a 50 50 chance that the operation (if I’m ever fortunate to have one) could be successful. By that time time would have run out for her.

I don’t know what I would do. But one thing is for sure while she and I most likely do not have a future together I will cherish the memories of her and thank her for providing the kick up the backside I needed. I have been taking my health more seriously and it has actually improved my life. On Monday night sneakily I loaded up Tinder and have checked again today and have at the present moment 100 plus likes to sift through all from Bangkok where I am currently while she’s working. Whether genuine or not it’s a nice ego boost for me.

Story Two The Young Americans First Trip Girl Pays Him

I am 25 years old and from the United States. I’ve never been to Pattaya or Thailand in general. When choosing where to take my paid time off I knew I wanted to go to Thailand but was torn between Pattaya and Phuket. Phuket was my first choice but as I looked more into Pattaya I realized that living on Florida beaches aren’t a deal breaker and since I’ve never experienced a red light district it would be a very cool experience to see the world’s most notorious. Being young and in my own opinion handsome I didn’t want to spend my entire trip in the bars because getting female attention isn’t my only expectation for the trip so I wasn’t worried about that at all. Pattaya had everything to offer but I was pleasantly surprised when I ventured out and really fell in love with the city.

My first night in Pattaya I told myself I’m going to jump right in and spend my first couple of days in the action for what Pattaya is known for. My hotel was in the dead center of what I didn’t know at the time Soi Honey. Being a newbie in Thailand I was very reserved in asking the girls certain phrases but I landed in a bar on Soi Honey around 6 PM that suited my fancy. After a couple of drinks talking to some other foreigners I felt comfortable to walk around to other bars and talk to ladies without making any mistakes. I spoke to the first girl I saw as she was beautiful and young and very nice. She spoke little English but we spoke through translate.

As the night ended she messaged me online asking to hang out. I said sure. As we met at the same first bar I entered we had some drinks and she told me if I wanted her to come over and spend the night with her I would need to pay her a 2000 Baht tip for her time. I said sure why not it’s my first night in Pattaya. So we walked back to my hotel. I told her to wait and let me get my money first. I did not bring out too much cash because I was a little afraid at the time to bring out large amounts of money in the day in Pattaya. I went to my room to open the safe where I kept most of my Baht. The safe was locked and I had unfortunately forgotten the code.

I went to the hotel desk and they told me the person with the safe master key will be back in the morning. So I thought ‘Well whatever I’ll go to the ATM.’ She showed me the closest ATM machine and I tried to take out some cash. For some reason my American credit card would not allow me to withdraw money. I turned around and told her I’m not sure what is going on but currently I don’t have enough money to tip her the 2000 Baht she had asked for. I said I’m sorry and maybe I’ll see you again.

She stopped me and told me don’t worry about it and if I ever see her at the bar again just stop in and tip her the 2000 Baht. I thought this was the direct opposite from what the videos I’ve watched told me but she seemed very nice so I went along with it. We went back to my room and had a lovely night together. The next morning she woke me up asking if I was hungry. I told her yes but the employee with the key hadn’t come and I still didn’t have any money. She said don’t worry about it so we walked to a restaurant and had breakfast. The bill for both of us was around 350 Baht. After breakfast I told her I promised to stop by once my safe is open and to my surprise she pulled out her purse and offered me 1000 Baht.

‘No’ I said. ‘Are you sure?’ She said yes you have to eat. I was very confused and told her it’s okay I will have the safe open later.

A Turning Point in Pattaya

I ended up getting the safe open and got my money. I returned to the bar and gave her 3000 Baht 2000 for the night and an extra 1000 Baht for being nice trusting me and the breakfast. She must have really loved that because afterwards she constantly messaged me wanting to hang out after work and I didn’t have to pay her. When I told my new foreign friends about the story they laughed and said ‘First night in Pattaya and a girl pays you? Yeah right.’ They couldn’t believe it.

The Barber Shop Story

My second story is similar but this time I had money. I wanted to find a barber shop because I realized unlike America a nice clean shave is more appealing in Thailand and it didn’t matter to me because in America I wear a beard or shave depending on how I feel that month. So I found a barber on Soi 6 and walked in. There were no foreigners but I believe what I found was a salon because it was filled with girls getting pretty. The lady spoke very little English and I told her ‘Just make me handsome and give me a shave.’ She gave me a very nice haircut and shaved my face. The funny part was when I told her to just make me handsome I attracted all the girls in the salon around me all giving their input on how to do my hair.

I believe there were five or six of them. Some were getting their hair dried while pointing at mine. When it was done some of them walked out yelling ‘Handsome man! Handsome man!’

I guess it attracted the bar right in front of me because there were about eight girls out the front. One of the ladies in the salon might have worked there because she yelled something in Thai to them and pointed at me and nudged me in that direction. I thought ‘What the hell?’ Went to grab a drink at the bar. I met one girl who fit my type pretty face with a curvy body. I started to chat with her and told her I’m new to Thailand and just trying out all the places not looking for anything serious today. She told me to give her my Instagram and to message her. I said okay and after a drink and a tip I left.

That night she messaged me telling me to come out with her after work with her friends. I told her yes but then my new foreign friend told me to be careful because they would rack up a bar tab for all their drinks and food and I will get stung with a bill. I met with her friends on Walking Street and we went to Club 808. My heart raced a little when a friend ordered bottle service. I waved both of them over and asked how much is this all going to cost. Her friend quickly slapped my shoulder and said ‘Don’t worry we have money. You just pay for your own drinks.’ Okay. On the one hand I felt bad for asking but on the other relieved. I looked and saw the bill so far 1000 Baht.

I told the ladies I’ll get this one you buy the next one. They smiled and said okay.

After leaving the club we went to a club called I bar. I noticed every time the girl I came with went to the toilet or went somewhere the other girls would approach me and my new girlfriend would say something in Thai and shoo them away. I don’t know why but I really got the impression I was getting more attention than other guys at the club. I wasn’t wearing any fancy jewelry nor was I showing money but I got approached multiple times by other ladies and I didn’t see that happening with other men. I believe it was because of my new Thai haircut.

The Salon Night Out

I wasn’t keeping track of time but when me and her friends left the club I was surprised to see it was daylight. I was very shocked and told her I was going home. She told me she was coming with me and I said okay. When we got to the room we had a good night and I was wondering if I was going to wake up with her asking me for money. I woke up and she said that she wanted to hang out with me the next night. I told her I need time to myself and I was hanging out with my friends which was a lie because I just needed some space.

She got upset and told me that I didn’t think she was pretty enough and I had many others to choose from at the club and the other bars as she had seen me get a lot of attention. I told her that’s not the case. I pulled out 2000 Baht from my wallet and told her to use this when we go out to buy our next drinks. She smiled and said to me ‘If you don’t come back I’ll spend this money I’ll keep it.’ I laughed and said ‘Yes okay.’

More of the story is if you go out with Thai girls after work be ready to party until you drop. Overall my trip to Pattaya was great but kind of confused me because I know it’s a business with the girls at the end of the day but I spent very little money on these girls. I wonder if some of them saw me as more than a customer because the following days my phone would constantly ring with girls wanting to hang out. I felt bad but politely declined most nights because I wanted to explore the city. I wondered if the girls I hung out with were genuinely interested in me or something more. Either way I politely cut ties with them and thanked them for giving me a great time in Thailand.

Story Three Bar Girl Gone Bad Or My Future Wife

I went to Thailand during our holidays here in Israel so between September to October 2022. I traveled with a friend. First we got to Bangkok for three days then to prepare and then to Koh Samui. The plan was to go to Pattaya and Chiang Mai before going back but I never really got to visit Pattaya and I’d been to Chiang Mai for only one day.

My story starts when we arrived to Koh Samui after a total of nine days out of 23. When we arrived in Koh Samui I found Chaweng to be distasteful not because it lacked charm but because it was filled with Israelis on holiday and it felt like I’m on a normal vacation in Israel and that was not why I traveled to Thailand. We already paid up front for two nights in a hotel. The plan was to stay the duration that was paid for and move on. Phuket was such an amazing experience and it felt like we were wasting every minute of the day being in a place that is so similar in many ways to our home. I started complaining after one or two hours in Koh Samui and my friend felt the same.

After a bit of conversing we decided that even though the weather was bad and it was raining we will go to Chiang Mai. So we went to a tourist agent to pay for a flight in two days’ time. We decided that we should try to enjoy as much as we can as we had paid for this bit of the holiday already. At that point we had been in Koh Samui for just three hours.

We were thinking as we have two days to kill we were probably going to drink ourselves stupid and play lots of pool. The long flight and the heat had finally hit us we were exhausted. We finally decided to have a nice meal a few drinks and an early night. The next morning we planned to spend the day at the beach. We wanted to rent jet skis as we have never been on one before and in Israel they are so expensive to rent and they only have them in two locations which is very far from where we live. My friend paid for 15 minutes and I paid for 30 minutes. My friend was the first to go and he got seasick with all the bobbing around in the water.

So when he came back into the shore he told me he feels sick and was going to return to the hotel to lie down which left me to spend the rest of the day on my own.

Meeting Sam

When I got back to the hotel it was still very early in the day. I knew my friend would stay in his room for the rest of the day as he got sick very easily and it always took all day for him to recover. I decided to go and play some pool and maybe take a soapy massage. I was open to most things available in the Land of Smiles. Right behind the bar I was in there was a massage shop where lots of ladies had already spotted me and my friend arriving the day before. They kept going to their bar in pairs to the main road and back to the bar every hour it was like watching a relay team.

Two girls would stand on the side of the road for an hour only to be replaced by two more girls to relieve the first pair who were trying to get customers into their shop. I decided to go to that massage shop and ask about the services they had on offer.

I left the bar and crossed over to the massage shop. I immediately noticed about seven or eight girls all dressed in the same uniform sitting outside talking loudly to each other. I approached what I thought was the prettiest girl out of them all. She was tall with long dark hair tanned skin and very beautiful. I asked her about the services she provided. She held up a board that showed prices for Thai massage oil massage the normal sort of stuff but there was a glint in her eye that told me there was more on offer than was what was being advertised on her laminated board. I asked outright. She looked at me and answered with a shy and beaming face as if we both knew what it should mean. I asked her to spell it out again for me exactly so that there was no misunderstanding.

She did and I told her that sounds lovely.

Before getting into this further there is something I need to mention. I don’t normally drink too much but as I was on holiday and playing pool in the bar I had already drunk about eight to ten small bottles of beer. To be honest I was getting a little bit bored in the bar as I was by myself playing pool with a bar girl which is the reason I think I drank so much.

Now this might sound a bit strange when I went for the massage I thoroughly enjoyed the actual massage but because I’d been drinking I decided I didn’t want anything else. But I spoke to her for quite a while and we seemed to just click. She kept saying to me ‘You’re crazy’ but laughing at the same time. I really was enjoying talking to this girl and she seemed to at least be enjoying her time with me. She kept saying to me over and over ‘Why you don’t want me to make you happy?’ I told her I’m very happy just in her company and so much so would she like to come out of the massage parlor and come and play pool with me and have a few drinks? Needless to say her eyes lit up and a big smile appeared on her face.

Pool Games With Sam

We played three games of pool and she beat me hands down every game. I later found out that most Thai bar girls are very good pool players and you should never play them for money because you will lose. At this stage I didn’t want to take it any further as I’d had quite a bit to drink as I say and I’d now added to that number playing pool with this lovely lady. I told her I’d enjoyed my time with her gave her a generous tip and told her I would be back to see her again before heading back to the hotel.

I know this might sound a little bit naive but honestly the chemistry between us just clicked. It was almost as if we could read each other’s minds. Her name was Sam and she had really piqued my interest. It was really weird I don’t know what it was but it was almost like she’d put a spell on me. I have been involved in many relationships but this felt different. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Is this the Thai bar girl spell that has been put on me like I’ve heard about so many times? No wonder so many guys get taken in with their magic.

I had a bit of a rest managed to sober up showered and put on some decent clothes and couldn’t wait to get back to the bar. When I arrived back at the bar I ordered a drink and I walked over to her massage shop. I told Sam that I would like her to show me around. She said that this is no problem but I would have to pay the massage shop to take her out each day. I told her that I don’t mind paying for her time but I wasn’t going to pay a bar fine to take her out. She was now in a dilemma. She wanted to make money but she knew I wouldn’t pay the fine. So she went to speak to the shop owner and after what seemed like a lifetime she came out and said ‘Okay you don’t have to pay bar fine.

I can come out with you tonight.’

‘Okay great’ I thought. Sam took me to a place called Green Mango Street it’s an open club with lots of tourists just like me with a partner a bar girl in tow. Sam also met with another girl from her shop who had her own customer. We danced partied and drank like 10 bottles of San Miguel each. We then moved on to another venue close to the Black Watch which was a pool bar and stayed for like three more hours just playing pool drinking and dancing. Everybody including me is drinking dancing enjoying the music. What else could I ask for?

Well I am forgetting that she was actually a working lady doing her job. At the end of the evening or should I say early morning Sam came back with me to my room. Even though I was quite drunk and very exhausted we had an absolutely fantastic aerobic session and another one and another one in the morning which was even better.

Extending the Trip

Now it’s me who’s in the dilemma. I’m so happy hanging out with Sam why on Earth would I want to leave Koh Samui as we had planned? I’m not exaggerating this night with Sam had been the best one I’d had in over six years. Absolutely brilliant no other words to describe it. She had to go back to her shop so I escorted her back. I then went back into the bar and had another couple of games of pool along with the hair of the dog i.e. another beer. I had to go back and check up on my friend. He hadn’t done a lot since going back to the hotel and to be honest he was being very boring at this time. When I got back to the hotel my friend had just woken up.

He told me he had spent the entire day hanging onto the toilet bowl being sick. I told him about my recent adventures and suggested that maybe we should extend for at least one more day to give him time to recover fully. Actually truth be told I wanted to see Sam again.

We had planned to stay 10 to 12 days in Chiang Mai so we had plenty of days to play with. Luckily my friend agreed to delay so we went to the agency to change the dates of our flights by a few days. We were really lucky that the tourism agent was good and we didn’t get charged an admin fee for changing the flight. My friend told me at dinner that night that he wanted to spend some time on his own to look around the island which suited me just fine. Obviously I was going to head back and bar fine Sam again for the rest of the day but I wanted to do something a little bit more exciting for her rather than just playing pool and drinking all day. I decided to surprise her and take her out on a jet ski.

I took two small plastic bags to put our phones in. By now I thought most of the girls including Sam must have realized that I’m quite a decent guy and fun to hang out with. I picked up Sam and we headed to the beach where the jet skis are located. We put our phones in the plastic bags that I had bought and off we went for our adventure. After about 30 seconds Sam tapped me and said ‘Your phone is swimming around in the plastic bag.’ I guess being so excited at being with Sam again I hadn’t closed it properly and it was vibrating in the bag looking like something completely weird. Other than my phone getting wet we had a really nice day. I tried to get Sam to drive the jet ski but she was actually terrified of it.

She didn’t mind being on the back and it seemed like she did genuinely enjoy it but she just wouldn’t drive it. She took several videos of me on my own from the beach. By this time I’d kind of mastered it and the videos turned out great. We then headed back to the hotel for yet another spectacular aerobic session.

When I met my friend later I told him I was having a really good time here and I didn’t really want to have to go to Chiang Mai. Surprisingly he was very cool about it and agreed we could stay here a while longer. I had to draw some cash from an ATM machine but unfortunately I didn’t know that in Thailand the ATM machines first give you your cash and then they return your card. It’s the other way around in my country you get your card and then the cash. So without thinking I took my cash walked away from the ATM machine and it wasn’t until later I realized that the machine had kept my card. So now my money’s getting short I have no ATM card and my phone got wet and no longer works.

Paying Bar Fines for Sam

So here I am with Sam spending every minute of the day with her paying her bar fine drinking and just enjoying each day as it comes along. It’s now day 12 and I’m not really worried about the money because I have my friend with me who can just make a transfer and I can pay him back later.

This relationship with Sam just seems crazy. The chemistry is definitely there and we’re both having lots of fun together even though I’m paying through the nose. Sam knew that we were only staying for 14 days so on the evening of day 13 Sam starts crying telling me she doesn’t want me to leave and she’s never had so much fun with a guy before. She went on to tell me that she’s got two daughters one who was three and then one who was 13. Her mother was taking care of them in her village in Isaan. She was crying intensely begging me not to go but I told her look I’ve got no choice. My friend and myself had booked time in Chiang Mai and he won’t agree to stay longer in Koh Samui.

So on the morning of the 14th day when Sam and I say our goodbyes she is crying intensely and I’m beginning to well up as it’s very difficult. I find myself texting her all the way to the airport. I just need to mention that I had bought a cheap second hand phone so I could at least receive calls.

So I decided to fly back down to Koh Samui to see her. My friend was very understanding. I told him I wanted to share more time with the love of my life. All he said was that he wanted to meet me in Bangkok when we returned to Israel so that we could share the flight back together which is fair enough. My money was starting to run really low. My friend had limited funds and had helped me as much as he could but I didn’t get a refund on the jeep and the last of my money had been spent on the flight to Koh Samui which didn’t get in until about 10 PM the following day. I had a second credit card but I didn’t realize I couldn’t use it globally as I tried to use it the bank had now canceled it.

I called Sam and told her I’m returning to see her I can’t stand being in Thailand not being able to be with her. She starts screaming and crying down the phone she’s so excited and tells me she will meet me at the airport.

When I arrived money started to become a real issue as I really am down to my last few Baht. So I had to think very hard what to do in this situation. I visited a local rabbi and explained my situation. I asked him if I could transfer money to his account using my mobile phone and could he just give me the cash in return. Thankfully he was a very understanding and generous man and this got me out of a terrible situation. Thailand’s a great country but with no cash it can become a living nightmare. From what I’ve read digital money is the only money I have right now and I have no way of withdrawing it. I managed to book a hotel with a booking inside Agoda which I could pay with my money luckily.

Final Days With Sam

I spent the next six days on my trip with the new love of my life. We spend every second of every day and night together. I was really happy. On one of these days it was a ‘no drinking day’ some kind of a Buddhist holiday and all the bars were closed. So I bought a load of beers the day before and just stuck them in my fridge. Believe it or not we had a very special night. We drank some beers in the room I put on some slow 1970s music and we danced in the room. Later we took a romantic stroll along the beach and then just sat down next to the ocean and spoke with each other for hours. It was perfect.

The day before I was due to leave she told me she wanted me to spend the entire day and evening in the room. I told her no I want to finish the way it all started drinking beer and playing pool in the bar next to your massage shop. To which she agreed. By the end of my holiday I had become quite a decent pool player and I managed to not only beat Sam several times but also several of the other girls that worked in the shop. I have a small tattoo on my arm. So within the last hour of me leaving the island Sam decides she wants the exact same tattoo. We find somewhere and she gets it done against my advice. All the girls circled her and took photographs of our tattoos together.

So this is pretty much the end of my Thailand romance story. However Sam and I talk for 11 to 12 hours a day via video chat. We go to sleep together wake up together we work together and we are talking about me moving to Thailand to build our own home and make our own babies. I know that every red line imaginable regarding caution has been crossed and that it might all end up being a scam but I really don’t think it is. There are things I don’t believe one can fake like the happiness she expressed when she knew that I was coming back to Koh Samui. The tears were real. I really don’t think someone could fake so much emotion.

However my story turns out I will never regret the time I spent in Thailand with Sam. She’s a lovely girl and she showed me so much kindness and happiness that even if it didn’t work out I would never forget her and I would certainly not hold a grudge against her.