Cashless in Thailand and a 1985 Phuket Crash
Let me start this story by giving you a bit of background on myself. You can call me Bill. I’m an American and was in the U.S. Navy from the late 1980s through to the mid 1990s and I saw quite a bit of traveling to Europe North Africa the Caribbean and the Mediterranean. After that I moved to Brazil as a young man in the mid 1990s and stayed there for 25 years. I married a Brazilian lady divorced over a decade later lived as a single guy for some 10 years afterwards there in the wild and wonderful Rio de Janeiro during which time I got to know both regular Brazilian women and lots of bar girls. Sure I made some mistakes with these girls but no train wrecks.
And as I was fluent and immersed in the culture I considered myself pretty savvy with both bar girls in general and the fiery Latina temperament. So I’m all ready for Thailand right? Wrong.
It’s January 2019 and I’ve just broken up with what will turn out to be my last Brazilian girlfriend. Time to live my longtime dream of finally escaping from Brazil and headed to the promised land Southeast Asia. Boy I could hardly wait. Me being from the lower east coast of the US and then having lived in Rio de Janeiro Brazil for so long well all I can say is that Asian women were simply not available and very very much admired. Thailand my first stop in Asia was surely going to be everything that I had dreamed of. To be clear I’d already done the bar girl scene in Rio during my 10 years as a single man as much as any man could desire.
And let me tell you in the Western hemisphere Brazilian women are bar none the best in terms of enthusiasm vigor price and they sure know what they’re doing. So my mind is made up a nice Thai girl or nothing.
I paid my membership fees on Tinder and other dating sites and so I arrived in Bangkok in mid January 2019 with a firm goal in mind of finding a nice Thai girl and who knows give love a try again after my divorce of 10 years previously. I did not and still haven’t visited the bar areas in any Thai city I’ve been to. Although I was staying within walking distance of the famous Nana Plaza I never went in there. In fact my hostel was on a back street and I had to literally walk a gauntlet of bar girls and ladyboys just to leave and grab a bite to eat. You know how they are they’d call me ‘handsome man’ and grab my arm every time I left or returned to my hostel.
But after a few days they finally figured out I wasn’t there for them and they left me alone thankfully.
Meeting Anna in Hua Hin
I talked to a few attractive local ladies on a famous Thai dating site but they always seemed to be too busy to meet me for a coffee or would flake out of the meeting at the last minute. Somewhat discouraged but not yet beaten I decided to give up on the Bangkok ladies and spent my last couple of days of that week just seeing temples in the old town and enjoying beer and wonderful Thai food. I did get a tug online from a promising girl we’ll call her Anna. Anna lived in Hua Hin. I’d never heard of the place but a quick bit of research informed me it was a three hour bus ride south west along the Gulf of Thailand and that it was a favorite traditional beach summer town of the royal family. What could go wrong? So off I went to meet Anna.
Anna was in her early 30s I had just turned 50. Anna was a petite girl with a sunny smile and engaging personality. Sure she had a child from a previous farang relationship surely an early warning sign but I didn’t know it then. The father of her child was a German guy if memory serves. Anyway she met me in the lobby of my hotel and we zipped off on her scooter to spend some time getting to know each other. We hit it off and it didn’t take long before we were holding hands having a nice stroll on one of Hua Hin’s beaches. What a nice way to start our time together. Dusk was nearing and we decided to get some food.
Anna suggested we go to a mall and have dinner at a Chinese hot pot type place first time for me and I noticed that it was about double the price of anything else I had eaten in Thailand during the previous week. I’m not a cheapskate but I do like value for money so I guess I make it a habit to get a lot of bang for my buck in hotels and restaurants. I have never been the extravagant type in anything I guess. But no problem this was a date and Anna certainly deserved a nice meal.
But it was at this point that a nagging problem I’d experienced previously the week before in Bangkok began to grow more persistent. Remember I told you that I just came from 25 years living in Brazil? Well I had a long standing account at one of the major banks there with a decent checking balance and an ample credit card limit. I had of course taken the trouble to activate my credit card and debit card for international use or so my account manager assured me. Imagine my horror when I got to Thailand and realized that yes my credit card worked fine but the ATMs didn’t even read my Brazilian debit card. Those of you versed in the ways of Asia can see my predicament. Things being so cheap nobody except some hotels and fancy restaurants and airlines will even take a credit card.
Cash is the favored means of transacting business. My checking account was shockingly unavailable. As you can imagine this hampers considerably the type of activities I could do. One can’t always stay at the most expensive hotel and dine at the most expensive restaurant just because they are the only ones who take your credit card. Being cash poor in Asia is shall we say a nightmare.
As the hot pot restaurant was relatively expensive they did take my credit card but Anna was already beginning to look at me strangely when I kept asking the waitress nervously if they took credit cards before we even sat down to eat. And deep down I was wondering if my credit card would even work in places that took credit cards. It seems the ATMs didn’t recognize Brazilian debit cards would restaurants accept a Brazilian credit card? I asked myself. To my great relief this one did. Anna ordered just about every option possible for the hot pot meal she so obviously craved and was pleased enough with my company that we ended up getting intimate that very first night my first Asian woman and I was delighted.
A Warning from Dave
Anna seemed to enjoy herself as well and we cuddled and dozed together afterwards but said she had to slip away before daylight to get her daughter who was being babysat by friends. Not a problem. I saw her off with a kiss and went back to bed tired and content.
The next day more activities and this time we went to shoot pool at a roadside dive bar owned by friends of hers. There I met an American we’ll call him Dave. Dave had been in and out of relationships in Thailand for the better part of a decade. Dave was a friend of Anna and her friend apparently for having been the ex husband of an old friend of Anna’s. I listened with growing unease as Dave related his sob story to me a typical train wreck of a relationship. Namely he met a hot young Thai girl from Isaan they fell in love or so it seems Dave gets talked into buying a restaurant which his ‘true love’ will manage. She runs it with an iron fist and grows increasingly hostile and distant in their relationship.
She makes Dave’s life a living hell until he is barely able to escape with his life literally as his true love sent people to beat him up when he refused to give up his share of the bar without a fight. Of course the law is on his ‘love’s’ side her being Thai. Dave’s use as an ATM now exhausted out he goes penniless and she keeps the bar and she thrives. Sound familiar? To be fair Anna told me that she thought it very bad what her now ex friend had done to poor old Dave. Indeed I got the distant impression that he was a broken shadow of his former self. He confided to me that in his words ‘All Thai women are crazy.’ I said to myself ‘Food for thought.’
Later that night more romance but always increasingly hampered by my lack of cash. Most things we wanted to do simply didn’t take credit cards and my cash advance was dwindling fast as was Anna’s patience. Evening number three rolled around and Anna was obviously annoyed that when we went to the night market nobody was taking credit cards. We finally found a pricey place owned by a friend of hers and managed to have a great Thai feast on credit Anna as usual choosing the most expensive items on the menu and much more than two people could eat.
After finishing our meal we went for a stroll around the market and something I forget exactly what impelled Anna to get irritated with me and she threw it in my face that I in her words ‘never had any money.’ Of course she knew the details of my situation as I had explained my predicament and it was of no use to point out that in fact whenever we did go out it was to expensive places and not to cheap ones. To her I never had any money end of story. She was raising her voice and making a scene in the market and at some point I lost my cool and raised my voice to her. As many of you will already know it is disastrous to make a Thai lose face in public no matter how they provoke you and that’s exactly what happened.
She flew into an even greater rage. She began to curse me loudly disgusted. She walked away and left me there in the market and naturally refused to answer my calls or respond to any of my texts. ‘Loser farang how dare you not be flush with cash?’ This put a real damper on my trip so far. Not even a bar girl but obviously the cash flow issue was a deal breaker.
A Second Chance Meeting Nid
I found myself wanting to get quite far away from Hua Hin so I took a long bus ride to enjoy the countryside and finally see Chiang Mai up in the north. I was still a bit shell shocked so I kept to myself for about a couple of weeks just flirting with women online and enjoying temples and Thai food in that charming city. I did go on a couple of day trips with two nice Thai women in their early thirties but there was no chemistry so I didn’t try to force anything. Soon I find a month has gone by and it’s time to make the famous visa run. The closest place to Chiang Mai is naturally Myanmar so I take the three hour bus ride to take care of business. Beforehand I had been chatting with an attractive Thai woman in her late 30s let’s call her Nid.
She said she wasn’t looking for romance but wanted to practice her English and offered to be my companion for the border crossing and the coffee afterwards if I wanted to. So I agreed.
Nid picked me up in her late model imported car. She wasn’t a beauty but was certainly attractive light skinned and petite of the northern Thai type more Chinese than Thai if you know what I mean. Anyway Nid’s English surely needed some practice but we managed to get by in conversation okay. Nid dutifully accompanied me across the Myanmar border. I got my visa stamp and we came back to the Thai side for lunch. Owing to my cash flow problem I asked Nid if there was a place we could lunch at that took credit cards. She looked at me rather strangely and said there wasn’t as far as she knew. We ended up going to a cheap roadside place that served basic food rice noodles and simple stuff.
She insisted on paying which I permitted on the understanding that I would take her out to a proper place the next night if she wanted. She drove me to the hotel I had booked in Chiang Rai her hometown and I thought that would be that. She was nervous and shy but I could sense she wanted something more than just to say good night. We sat on the bed and she confided to me that she’d been married to a much older rich Thai man for a few years no kids and that he’d treated her badly. He had fooled around gambled and generally behaved poorly. She had only married the guy she said because he was chosen for her by her mother. Nid had money in a sense but it was only what her mother gave her for working at the family business.
Nid worked so much that she was always too busy to have a personal life. She could only travel abroad once a year due to her duties in the family business and her brother had the same deal. In short Nid was lovely it seemed.
After the ‘poor little rich girl’ drama was revealed Nid and I ended up kissing there sitting on the bedside. At some point she broke away and said she had to go presumably to beg Mother for some time off but she’d be back later that evening. I reluctantly let her go not really expecting her to come back. To my surprise she did return in about enough time as I figured to go home give some excuse to Mother and return. She brought an overnight kit an evening gown toiletries a change of clothes for the next day. Things were about to get very interesting and so they did. Shy at first Nid turned out to be a very tender person and it was clear she hadn’t had male company for quite some time. We slept cuddled together and unlike Anna before her Nid didn’t slip away with some excuse.
A Day Around Chiang Rai
I was surprised when the next day Nid asked me if I would like to spend the next day together with her. I agreed and we spent the whole day visiting the many wonderful temples and sights of historic Chiang Rai the huge Buddhist structure and all the rest. A wonderful sunny day with Nid and I was quite content and she was too. I reminded her that I wanted to take her for a nice dinner that night one I paid one fancy enough to warrant credit card acceptance and she agreed. She dropped me off at my hotel at about 4 PM. We had a relatively brief romantic interlude and she left again saying she’d be back by seven for dinner.
Nid did return but this time with her brother. I tried not to show my surprise. It’s a known thing that an Asian girl won’t present you to her family unless it’s serious and this was only night number two. Off we went to a very good fancy Thai restaurant. It soon became very clear the suspicious and non English speaking brother obviously didn’t think I was good enough for his sister and promptly ignored me as much as possible his only apparent enthusiasm being limited to ordering every expensive item so that soon the table was groaning under the weight of the food. ‘Let’s see if the farang can handle this’ ha ha. When it came to my time to pay I admit I was a bit nervous hoping once again that the restaurant accepted a Brazilian credit card. To my horror the Mastercard machine was offline.
I think Nid and her charming brother noticed my unease and suspected something was off. I was nervous because I thought they might think that I was using a fraudulent credit card. Finally I was able to get the transaction done. Nid’s brother drove us back to the hotel this was to prevent his sister from staying over as I was dumped back at my hotel and off they went to Mother’s country palace. That night Nid text me and said she was sorry she couldn’t stay over. I said it was okay. She said she wanted to see me the next day so I agreed. She picked me up in the morning and we went off to see a green tea plantation the biggest in the region. We enjoyed a lovely day and went back to my hotel.
More alone time in the afternoon and then she told me she wanted me to meet her mother. I confess I felt this was going all alarmingly fast meet me with dear brother on day two and on day three already I was going to meet mother. I agreed and off we drove to the country estate some 30 minutes away. It was certainly a nice house obviously belonging to wealthy people four bedrooms and four cars plus two motorbikes and plenty of backyard with an orchard. I sat nervously in a room alone while Nid went to take a shower. After what seemed like an eternity Mother arrived with a sheepish older Thai man in tow. Nid explained to me later that her father had died years ago and this was her stepfather. His input into the business was exactly zero his principal occupation being that of a kept man.
And Mother was clearly the boss running the poultry business and the family with an iron fist. Naturally Mother spoke no English but wanted to interrogate me anyway to see if I was suitable for her daughter. Nid translated Mother’s questions to me in not very good English and gave Mother Lord knows what answers in return from translating my responses. Whatever was said Mother didn’t seem impressed. Nid drove me home and there was no ‘sugar’ for me that night not with Mother in charge.
The Humiliation by the Mekong River
Now I’d had about enough as I could take and was ready to go back to Chiang Mai something I had planned to do three days previously after the visa border run. To my surprise Nid called me early that morning. She said she would like to go to the Golden Triangle that’s the triple border of Thailand Myanmar and Laos where they meet at the Mekong River. When she picked me up in one of the other cars this time a Land Rover guess who was accompanying us? Mother suspicious brother and playboy stepfather. This looked like being a fun filled day for me. Things were tense as during the trip they pretty much talked amongst themselves in Thai presumably about me and my unworthiness. Nid and I detached ourselves from them a bit during the excursion at the Golden Triangle and later a Buddhist temple nearby.
I was beginning to feel a bit better because Nid and I were at least spending some time together but it was not to last for long. After sightseeing it was proposed that the farang would treat the family to lunch beside the Mekong River. No credit card accepted naturally just cash. Now keep in mind that I had told Nid my predicament of extremely limited access to hard cash after the first day. This lunch situation was doubtless devised by the family to reveal once and for all that the farang was an imposter and unworthy of Nid’s hand in presumed future marriage and hence of inferior quality to join the Thai family. You get the idea.
What followed was probably the most humiliating moment of my life. I told Nid that I simply didn’t have the cash couldn’t we lunch elsewhere anywhere I could use my credit card? Nid was distraught and obviously hated the situation but said no Mother wanted to eat here. Check and mate. I said ‘I’ll go and sit over there. I’m not eating. I’m not hungry and therefore I’m not paying a dime.’ That was the message. So eat they did chatting in Thai about you know who right there beside the historic Mekong River. Well I burned with humiliation and seethed within the sight of them. Nid at some point begged me to join them and I did for her sake but not partaking of any food or drink and therefore not paying for anything. To call this agonizing is an understatement.
When they had finished the kept stepdad pulled out a wad of his allowance and paid for the family meal. The long ride back to the country estate was shall we say uncomfortable. All the while they talked amongst themselves in Thai about me and my apparent disgrace. When we arrived at Mother’s house they all disembarked from the SUV all except dear brother. He it seemed was going to drive me the 30 miles back to my hotel. I’ll never forget Nid’s face as she watched her brother whisk me away out of her life. Her eyes said ‘I’m so sorry. I think I might even love you but Mother won’t let me. Goodbye forever.’
There were a few half hearted messages from Nid after I returned to Chiang Mai but clearly it was not to be the family didn’t allow it. After that I lost any desire to date Thai women. I mean if we knew what to expect from a bar girl and this was the treatment to be gotten from a well to do Thai really what else was there to hope for? I ended spending another four weeks backpacking from Chiang Mai all the way to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia seen some 10 other Thai cities on the way but always blissfully alone. I ended up spending time with some lovely ladies in the Philippines after my Thai misadventures and later ended up getting engaged to a beautiful Indonesian woman of 28 after nine months together in Indonesia.
COVID forced me back to the USA where I was forced to stay in a long distance relationship until literally three days ago in early July 2022 when I returned to Indonesia. I hope to be married to her in a month or so and will honeymoon in Thailand. It is after all a wonderful country.
Story Two A Trip Back to 1985 The Head On Collision in Phuket
I first visited Thailand in 1983. I have been married to a Thai lady for 33 years and have likely been back to Thailand 20 plus times in the past 30 years. I have been living in Australia for the last 36 years.
My first experience in Thailand was a very short three day stopover on the way back to the UK to sort out my permanent migration to Australia. I left a very hot Sydney in January 1983 and landed at the old Don Mueang Airport around 9 PM later the same day. I have always wanted to visit Southeast Asia after the stories I had read from a few experienced travelers. Being a complete newbie I like many broke most of the unwritten rules when I first visited Thailand. However I think in 1983 things were more innocent and there was a genuine effort by the Thais to provide a great experience to the traveler but as expected at a cost.
I was picked up by a hotel minibus and taken to the Impala Hotel. This was either on Soi 21 or Soi 23 on Sukhumvit Road. Although it was not a five star hotel it was quite luxurious by my standards which was a three star motel in Australia. The first night was pretty tame. After having a couple of Singha beers in the hotel bar I went up to my room. I was surprised when one of the bellboys knocked on my door and inquired if I would like some female company later that night. I declined the offer of company instead enjoying a book and a good night’s sleep. If only I knew then what I know now.
The next morning I was a man on a mission. I had heard of a place called Patpong. I was going to get there at any cost. I looked at a map and thought ‘This is not a long walk from my hotel to Patpong.’ So after breakfast about 9 AM I turned right out of the Impala Hotel and made a beeline for Sukhumvit Road. My first impressions of Bangkok were amazing. It was polluted hot busy claustrophobic but from that moment I fell in love with it. Bangkok was a city where everything is possible you never know what is around the next corner. The sights the smells it was just so much different to my previous experiences in the UK and Australia. Taxis and tuk tuks constantly stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride. I was quite certain I knew where I was going.
After about two hours of walking in Bangkok pre MRT or Skytrain I was starting to have doubts if Patpong even existed. The heat humidity and pollution were starting to get to me. I jumped in a taxi at that point and just got in and asked to be taken to Patpong. I didn’t barter on a price so a 20 minute taxi ride cost me 400 Baht. Later I was in Patpong.
Like I said I made every newbie mistake possible. It was just after midday when I went into my first bar and had a couple of very cold Singhas to rehydrate. Looking back now the bars were pretty quiet and tame at that time of the day. Being new in town I thought I’d found a treasure chest. Over the period of the next three hours I hit about four bars. I only remember the name of one though it was the Band Bar. I had drinks with numerous girls and I bought quite a few lady drinks. I could not believe that all of these stunning ladies were so happy to see me. I got all of the usual stories such as ‘I’ve only been working here for two days’ and ‘I just have drinks with a few guys I don’t go out with customers etc. but you’re special.
Bar Drinks and Decisions
If you want me to go back to your hotel I can.’ At that time the effects of many drinks tiredness and Bangkok’s excitement in general started to hit me hard but I bar fined one of my new friends. There was a condition the girl had to be back in the bar by 8 PM. Without going into any of the details the next two to three hours was enjoyed by all. My new friend said she really needed a new pair of shoes. I like a knight in shining armor came to her rescue. The shoes on her feet cost me a considerable amount of money but I was young and had experienced Patpong. The girl left and I guess returned to work. It was all now catching up with me but I thought I was onto a winning streak.
I decided to venture into the bar downstairs that worked too. So a quick massage and extras and I had a good night’s sleep.
In the morning I thought I better go back to Patpong and have a slow look around but would have a swim first to freshen up in the hotel pool. I was doing a few laps and looked up and my friend from the previous day was there smiling and waving. I guess I was happy but it would have been nice to explore Patpong properly. We had a coffee and she asked if I would like to do some sightseeing in Bangkok. I was happy to do this and we did some of the major sites had lunch on the river. My new friend then asked me if I would like to come back to her place and see her family. She had a very young son and a brother. We found our way back to a very run down wooden house somewhere in Bangkok. It looked terrible from the outside.
When I walked in I was surprised as the inside was very clean and nothing out of place. I was greeted by a young child about 18 months and a 20 something brother. We actually had a very good time. The brother went out to buy some food and some beers and we sat drinking and communicating as best as we could for a few hours. After this I gave my friend some money for the day this time not too much then we parted ways. I guess she left for work in the bar. I went back to my hotel to prepare for an early morning flight to Copenhagen and on to London. This was a tame story but it was the opening for me to start my love affair with Thailand and the Thai people. Like many I could never get the memories and experiences of Thailand out of my mind.
When I told my friends in the UK and Australia about the possibilities in Thailand very few even believed me and even less were keen on experiencing it.
The 1985 Trip And the Head On Collision
It was maybe two years after my initial trip that I decided to return to Thailand. I had found a good drinking friend in Australia and he had always wanted to travel to Thailand he had almost gone a couple of times previously but had been let down by his close friends. We planned a trip but this time we were going to do a package tour and take advantage of the airfare and hotel combinations offered. We were going to Singapore for three nights then flying to Phuket for seven nights and then off to Bangkok for five nights. So the big day gets here both of us were at the airport four hours before the flight. Thai Airways takes off a few beers and we started our first leg of the trip to Singapore.
As I said we were part of a package tour but we were really not too concerned about the benefits of the package. For the first day or so we really just wanted to get to the city center and then get out to a couple of bars. At this stage the Tropicana and the Jockey Club came highly recommended. We dumped our bags and were out in just over an hour. We ended up meeting and getting intimate with one Malaysian girl and one Thai girl and in less than three hours we were back in our hotel bar reflecting on what had just happened within the last 12 hours. We kind of went our own way for the next three days without doing any of the tours or dinners with the group. We thought we would join the group for the trip back to the airport and the flight to Phuket.
When we did join the group they thought we were fictitious as we had not been involved in any other activities. There was some complaining from a few of the group about our behavior with the females in Singapore but isn’t that the point of going to Southeast Asia?
Next stop Phuket. Well Phuket in 1985 was very different to how it has developed today. Bangla Road was a dirt road but still had bars. Patong Beach was clean and you could still catch lobsters in some of the sheltered bays. We stayed at Rawai Beach but made it across to Patong a few times. Rawai Beach was very quiet then and there were some nice islands just offshore. My friend and I loved Phuket so much we decided to come back to stay for longer the next year. Our five day stay in 1985 was great but we did have one very scary experience. We hired a taxi driver for the day to take us around the island and to have an evening in Patong. Through the day my friend and myself indulged in quite a few beers and started on the Thai whiskey around sundown.
We were getting on well with the taxi driver and he became the third member of our group and we bought quite a few drinks for him. We did not realize it but he was becoming quite drunk. After midnight we decided to return over the hill back to our hotel. We jumped in the taxi like a bongo van for our trip home. Sometime on the trip over the very steep hill we both shouted ‘Oh crap!’ as we could see the headlights of a big truck heading for us. After that all went blank.
I remember waking up on the road with lots of Thai faces looking down at me and my friend shaking me asking if I was okay. We hit the truck head on. The taxi was totally destroyed. The funny thing was my friend and me had exactly the same injuries but to different sides of our body. Dislocated right shoulder bruised ribs cut eye bump on the head for me on my right side but for my friend on the left side. It could have been so much worse. I think because we were pretty drunk we absorbed the crash better than if we would have been sober. The locals helped us into another taxi and sent us back to our hotel. The taxi driver was fine he jumped out of the taxi before the crash.
Clinic Stitches and Phuket Memories
The next day when the alcohol wore off we were certainly in a lot of pain and everything ached. We went to a local clinic for a checkup and had some stitches. Over the next few days as the bruises emerged it looked like we had gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson. We did not let this get in our way of a good time and actually the local girls and massage ladies treated us with quite a bit of respect. I guess the moral of the story here is to not involve the taxi driver in serious drinking when he is working.
We went back to visit Phuket a few more times and every time I return it gets a little bit more busier. Phuket is not as charming or as friendly as it was back in 1985 but I guess that is progress. The last leg of the 1985 trip was back to Bangkok for four nights
