The Wife Who Knew All Along About Thailand

As far as the Thais are concerned that is not so much a holiday but a time to catch up with mother and the family renew driver’s licenses Thai passport transfer blocks of land vehicles etc. into their names that had been purchased by mother with the money the wife saved up and paid for while working overseas visit the local government office for Thai ID renewals etc. countless visits to temples and hours of devotion to monks. All this stuff bores the heck out of me and we have had many arguments over the years about being stuck in rural Thailand in the oppressive heat with no foreigners no foreign food and no decent hotels. My argument is we have saved up for this holiday for many months and paid expensive air fares all to waste our time in rural Thailand.

Her answer to this dilemma is “Look I haven’t seen my mother and family for many years and when I’m here I have to spend time with them and entertain them and treat them to good food and give them respect. I also have to renew licenses and IDs and I go to the temple as there are no Thai temples back home where we live.

After finishing school my wife married a Thai man for over 10 years and had three Thai kids. The Thai husband was a drinker so she left him to escape the violence and to get a future for herself and her kids. In fear of her safety and the Thai husband was very violent she borrowed money from Chinese loan sharks using her family farm as security and went to New Zealand and later to Australia.

After many Thailand trips and many arguments later we came up with an arrangement that when I got bored and tired of rural Thailand I could go to Bangkok and stay at our favorite hotel in Prakanong Saphan Khwai. I was surprised that she would let me go to Bangkok by myself as she was so jealous. I was definitely not allowed to go to Pattaya by myself only Bangkok. This arrangement worked very well over the next 10 years of travel to Thailand and I loved exploring Bangkok by myself. I often used to walk miles either east west north and south of my hotel on alternative days just to introduce randomness and adventure into my exploration. It was a great experience and I saw many unique things and experienced a lot of Thailand that regular travelers never experienced.

Sometimes I would hire a taxi for the day and do a day trip to the River Kwai and visit the bridge and the war cemeteries. One morning the driver picked me up from my hotel for the day trip. The driver seemed very friendly and kept asking me “Ah you like stay at Pradiphat? You like Pradiphat? You stay at Pradiphat?” I thought this was a bit weird but I answered “Yes I stay there every time I come to Thailand.” “Oh Pradiphat!” he responded gleefully.

That’s really weird I thought. Perhaps he is just making small talk. Anyway the trip to the River Kwai went off without a hitch and we returned back to my hotel around 800 p.m. What happened next was a real surprise. The driver mentioned Pradiphat again and after I paid him his 3000 baht for the trip he smiled at me and then put his hand on my leg and squeezed it. I nearly jumped through the roof of his taxi and couldn’t get out quick enough. Wow that was weird I thought.

Returning to Bangkok After Two Years Apart

Fast forward 2 years later and I am back in Bangkok for another “sanity trip” to escape rural Thailand and my Thai mother in law. I thought I had explored a lot of Bangkok already and thought I would try another trip to the River Kwai but this time try and get to Hellfire Pass where a lot of the Allied soldiers died working on the Burma Railway. As luck would have it the weather was not on my side and it was too dangerous to drive up into the mountains so I had to make do with a trip to the bridge only on this trip a bit disappointed.

When we drove back to Bangkok I chit chatted with the driver on the way back and he complimented me on my interest in Thailand and its culture and that I wasn’t obsessed with chasing bar girls and drinking. He then started asking about Saphan Khwai and Pradiphat Road and why I stay there not a more touristy area. I said that I like the street food around that area and the shopping as well. “So you like Pradiphat Road?” he said. “Yes I do” I responded.

A short while later we were getting close to the hotel and he surprised me by placing his hand on my knee. I quickly moved my knee away thinking he must have touched me by accident. I paid him for the tour and made my way up to the hotel with a lot of thoughts going through my head. What is it with these taxi drivers and putting their hands on my knees? What’s going on? I thought. Am I giving out gay vibes? What’s the story?

Both taxi drivers had stressed “Pradiphat Road.” Something is going on. So I researched Pradiphat Road and Saphan Khwai and was stunned when my Google search returned many results for “Gay Bangkok” and “gay wine bars.” That’s it I thought. Because I stay at Pradiphat Road a gay area according to Google these taxi drivers think I’m gay.

When my Thai wife came down to Bangkok I told her the stories of what happened with the taxi drivers and that we were staying in a gay area of Bangkok. She nearly made me fall through the floor when she responded “Of course it is. Do you think I would let you stay in an area of Bangkok that has girls and girly bars? Do you think I’m stupid or something?” Then she said “I also ask the hotel staff and the street food vendors to watch you and tell me if they see you with any girls.

Story #2 From Paranoia to Partnership A Rocky Start in Pattaya

I will be flying out tomorrow in what should be a long day 23 hours on two flights Rio de Janeiro to Paris with a 2 hour layover and then on to Bangkok.

My Thai girlfriend speaks the typical English that Thai people pick up simply from interacting enough with farangs. Her name is Chompoo so I already know she has quite a bit of experience with foreigners. What kind of experience? I have no clue. I suspect I will find out when I get there.

We were chatting last night on Messenger and she sent me a string of 20 or so gifts that were very romantic. I thought this was cute but in the back of my mind I was thinking “Why does she have so many?” I am totally paranoid thanks to all the videos I’ve watched. I’m still feeling confused as to where this woman is coming from. She seems sincere but I know that everyone including me can have alternative motives.

As far as I can tell she is a typical working class Thai and perhaps a little educated but she is very smart and remembers nearly every word I have said to her. At this point I am thinking that her background story is true and that she has been trying desperately for the last 10 years to find a decent boyfriend with a decent bank account. I can’t hold that against her since I have been doing basically the same thing here in Brazil minus the bank aspect.

She has an English friend who has been in Thailand for many years. She says he speaks nearly perfect Thai. I think he lives somewhere under the radar because Chompoo said he can barely feed himself. I have no idea how much they see one another or what their current relationship is. Chompoo told me he is always asking for aerobics and she does not like it. She didn’t say when this happened or how long ago. I’m assuming that they had a relationship in the past that became more of a friendship. I fight with myself not to feel put off by this situation as I also have many Brazilian women friends who I truly consider just friends.

Apart from the rented room she has in Pattaya she also has a house that isn’t far from the airport in Bangkok. She is planning on meeting me on Tuesday and she will move to her house to be closer to the airport. She sent me videos of the house which looks like a simple place that has been left unused for quite a while full of clutter and completely disorganized. From my perspective from living in Brazil I would say it is a typical working class house. It also looks like it is in need of some small repairs as it has a leaky roof.

A Complicated Relationship Shapes Their New Partnership

She has an ex partner who she sometimes lets stay in the house. I still cannot quite figure out what her relationship with him is now although I believe her when she says he is just her ex partner and since they spent so long together he still has a place in her life.

I am still a little torn about my feelings with Chompoo. She seems like a nice woman. I think she is very attractive as a lot of Thai women are not a 10 but for her age I would definitely give her a strong seven or even an eight. Sometimes she seems very focused on my money (what little I have) but then I have to understand where she is coming from with such a hard life.

I finally arrived in Bangkok and Chompoo met me at the airport with her daughter as planned. I was so tired that I could barely stand but we managed a big hug and we then went to a food court in the airport to have a quick meal. I was not sure where my body was 900 a.m. in Thailand or 700 p.m. in Brazil. I don’t really remember much about it as I fell asleep on the bus ride down to Pattaya. Actually I can’t remember it at all other than getting off and having Chompoo being a little distracted and stressed because the bus stopped by the side of the road and not at the North Terminal bus station like it normally does. She had me sit at a roadside table while she arranged for a friend to come to pick us up.

We arrived at a hotel and I think I slept for 8 hours straight.

Two weeks later I’m finally beginning to get on with Thai time. I’m feeling less tired by now. The first week was pretty much “suck it and see how it turns out” because of all the videos I watched and stories I had heard about some Thai women being very devious so I was always on my guard. Sometimes we got into silly little arguments and I often threatened to leave her on her own if it continued and I even spent an afternoon searching for apartments in Jomtien.

The subject of money always came up and she was always trying to persuade me that I should support her as she was quite poor. As I was aware that many relationships here in Thailand were based more on transactional activity rather than love this didn’t come as a great shock to me. I did get really angry with her once when she asked me to buy her a gold bracelet just after I had paid all the bills for her house and an itemized bill was presented to me for what it cost her to meet me at the airport. I was starting to feel like this woman was not really interested in me at all only how much I could provide for her.

Searching for Reliable Visa Help in Thailand

I had made quite a lot of inquiries regarding agents and requirements for getting a long term visa in Thailand. I had selected one agent that I had heard was quite reliable and honest. However she was insisting that I used one of her friends to get my visa done. Once again I was starting to lose my temper with her and we had words. She kept telling me I shouldn’t overthink things.

During the following week she introduced me to a lot of her friends. She must have told them that we had argued a lot because all of them told me that I should calm down and relax and take things easy which was quite strange to hear from multiple people that I’d never met before. They also told Chompoo to be more understanding of my feelings as I was in a new country that I had never been to before.

I had also started working with an agent to arrange a long term visa that I alone chose. Chompoo really wanted to be part of the process with my visa but the agent didn’t want her interfering with his work. He appeared to be working with lots of foreigners obtaining visas the last thing he needed was some random Thai woman telling him how to do his job. Chompoo was very insulted when he suggested that she not come on the subsequent visit to the immigration office so much so that she went there on her own while I was back at the hotel one day. Why? Who knows.

I had got to the point where I was really fed up with her. I’d given her 50000 baht to put into her bank account to help her out but I demanded it back at this point. To my surprise she actually gave it back to me which apparently is very rare in Thailand. I really thought “This is it time to get out of this horrible relationship.” But then things turned for the better.

I don’t know why but over the next few days and then weeks we started to really get on well. I think her past experience with foreigners had taught her not to push too far. She always hinted about money but she never got on my nerves again and we hardly argued. We were really starting to have a good time together. We would ride all over Pattaya on her little scooter meeting her friends go out to the market and yes a little bit of shopping here and there. One afternoon we spent our time pulling weeds out of the rented land that she had I might eventually one day build a little house for the both of us.

And we are now getting on very well. I think she’s realized that it’s her last chance saloon. She’s not getting any younger and I treat her decently and I don’t mess around with other girls which is rare for a guy living in Pattaya. We are living in the middle of the dark side that’s an area of Pattaya that many people know so it’s very easy to walk everywhere although the street dogs can be quite intimidating. You just should never look them in the eyes.

Visa Delays Add More Stress to the Marriage

I’ve got my bank account now my visa is being processed and I have a license to drive her scooter. I’m very optimistic about the future and I really hope things work out.

Story #3 A Thai Wedding in Buriram A 40 Year Age Gap and an Unforgettable Experience

I had met a Thai bar girl and was totally infatuated with her. Her name was Kop. I broke every rule with the same girl from a previous trip and we had now met a few times and texted on Line for about a year. But this did lead to the most amazing experience and I don’t just mean aerobics although that was always good.

This was about 2014 and she was going to have to leave Bangkok which would mean when I traveled to Thailand I would not see her. She was intending to travel by bus to return to her home in Buriram to attend her cousin’s wedding. Not sure how it happened but I was invited to attend with her. This turned out to be the most amazing experience.

A couple of days before the wedding we started out from Don Mueang Airport on Nok Airways. After about 1 hour on a turbo prop plane we landed in the small airport at Buriram. Another cousin picked us up in a Toyota pickup truck. I threw the luggage one small bag for her two for me as I had to take everything from Bangkok with me having not made arrangements to leave some behind in Bangkok.

Now I know the readers will think I’m crazy but I had trusted Kop with all the arrangements. Yes I know I could have been set up to be robbed and never heard from her again. But I trusted Kop and although we are no longer together she was always honest and trustworthy. She looked out many many times for my best interest. Making this break from my normal “very conservative I’m in charge and want everything planned” attitude is precisely what made this perhaps one of the best experiences of my life.

So we went to the hotel to drop off bags. Again Kop had picked the hotel so I did not know what to expect. I walked into the room and it was a nice three star accommodation very clean with one nice king size bed and a modern flat screen TV. Wow I was shocked at how nice it was and only about $16 per night.

Next it was off to meet Mom and Dad. I just turned 60. Kop is 20 that’s a 40 year age gap. But Mom is 72 and I think Dad is 69 or 70. Kop is their first and only daughter. Mom had her first child at the age of 51 or 52. I’m doing the math to this day and it just does not add up. But at the time I just go with the flow. More on the age difference maybe in another story.

Arriving in Rural Buriram for the Wedding

We arrived and again I was shocked. Kop is from a village just outside Buriram so I did not know what to expect for Mom and Dad’s house. But it was a nice house all on stilts with a nice concrete area downstairs to sit and eat sleeping upstairs. Although I was never allowed upstairs. Kop told me since we were not married I could not go upstairs but they know we are staying in the hotel together. Again just go with the flow.

Kop showed me her motor scooter. I did not pay attention what brand but it was very nice and new looking as well. I’m quickly realizing that Kop is not just a poor little girl from the province. Kop had before never asked me for a thing beyond the bar fine and what I had offered. She did ask me to buy Mom and Dad a refrigerator. So off to the mall we all go in the truck. As we started the refrigerator selection I’m thinking to myself “How much is this going to cost me?” thinking in Western style selections. Instead Mom and Dad just kind of follow never requesting anything. Kop is looking at about 8 to 10 cubic feet of brand units all well below $200. She says they don’t need much only room for a few things but not too big as it has to go upstairs.

I actually talked Kop into a 12 cubic feet Samsung better to get a brand name and a warranty. All this was just a little over $200. But I asked “How to get this home?” She informs me the cousin with the truck will take it later and others will help getting it upstairs. (Remember I cannot go upstairs haha.) Afterwards I’m thinking to myself “Did I just pay a dowry for Kop?

So the evening is over and we turn in for the night. After some aerobics I sleep like a baby. Remember she is 20 and I’m 60.

The next day is the day of the wedding. We traveled to Mom and Dad’s house to go to the wedding before 1100 a.m. This was held at the house the groom built for his fiancée. It is only a short walk less than half a kilometer away. As we walk in front of the house it’s easy to recognize there are spectacular walkways covered in flowers with red carpets. I’ve never seen such a spectacle in person before.

Guests keep arriving. Some farangs maybe 10 or so all guys of varying ages but close to 200 guests overall. So the farangs make up less than 5%. To paint you a picture if you took the wedding scene in Hangover 2 removed the beach and replaced it in a jungle you get the idea. Except this is real and not a movie set.

Kop Introduces Him to Her Buriram Family

I meet so many people as Kop introduces me as her boyfriend. Her good friend a ladyboy I at one time knew is there also. He is a school friend of Kop’s whom she grew up with although he is never in totally woman’s clothes. I’m sure some readers are all thinking “Scam he might be Kop’s boyfriend or husband.” Believe me he is a real ladyboy. He’s into men not women. So I’m not worried about that. But I did sometimes get jealous because of the attention he grabs not just from Kop but from everyone.

We all gather and a procession begins. The procession begins with the bride and groom leading the way. The bride is in her 30s and she is gorgeous with the groom late 40s also a handsome guy from California I learned later. So relatively small age gap by most standards I’ve seen in Thailand.

We walk down a gravel road well paved even though it is just gravel. All 200 of us or so make our way to the bride’s parents’ house and there the groom pays the dowry. I’ve never seen so many stacks of Thai baht thousands and gold stacked on one platter. It looks like a payout at the casino. Maybe it is a payout for the parents for the bride they just sold off their daughter and she is a used model being married before and divorced. I quickly realized that the refrigerator that I bought did not constitute a dowry.

Now the procession makes its way back to the bride and groom’s house. Outside the marriage takes place. It is such a beautiful ceremony with the groom sitting on a throne being carried in. The bride kneels before him with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. As the bride kneels her dress is slit all the way up to her hips in one of the sexiest poses I’ve ever seen. Although I have seen Thai girls do the pose many times before it always seems to send a thrill to me as the sexiest thing and only Thai girls seem to pull it off effortlessly.

The reception is inside the house with a large meeting room in front as the bride and groom welcome all the guests. Here I found the Thai guests wanted me to sit on the few couches as my young girlfriend is sitting on the floor. I am welcomed as an honored guest and the feeling even though I am a farang is one of the family. As most of the local village are cousins with one another they want me in the wedding pictures as I stand with Kop ladyboy Mom and Dad. This experience is like nothing I’ve ever felt. Although I have been to many Western weddings the Thai Buddhist wedding is a very different affair.

People are filing inside and outside to where the rows of food are set up all kinds of wonderful dishes. I don’t know what the various dishes are so I just try to sample everything. Like in most weddings that I have experienced you find yourself in conversations with different guests. You might think since I cannot speak a word of Thai it might have been awkward but not at all. As I spoke to farangs and Thais alike many of the girls and women who had been to Bangkok all spoke very good English anyway and it was interesting to speak to some of the farangs that married many years ago and had been living in the province with a Thai wife not from the bar scene.

A Thai Wedding Reception Brings the Family Together

Kop floated around visiting with relatives she had not seen in years returning to see if I was okay. I told her “Please go and enjoy yourself” as I was enjoying meeting the people there. Even ladyboy came by to check on me to see if I was okay and enjoying myself.

The wedding reception was still going but we left after several hours because the next day we were going to try a new adventure. Kop and I were taking Mom and Dad on the first ever plane ride back to Bangkok and then onto Pattaya.

Kop and I are no longer together as I said but I will be forever grateful for the experience she showed me in real Thai life.

Story #4 The Frozen Bank Account A Lesson from a Kind Cashier

I traveled from my home in Adelaide South Australia on my first ever trip to Southeast Asia arriving in Bangkok and straight to Pattaya Thailand for 2 weeks in November 2022. I watched many YouTube videos about what to expect and what to look out for when in Thailand especially while in Pattaya. I had gone through a long list of things to prepare for my trip and thought I had pretty much all of the requirements covered. I booked all of my flights and accommodation got extra medications and a medical report from my local doctor to cover for the medications I was bringing with me an international driver’s license travel insurance etc.

Finally arriving in Pattaya in a taxi from Bangkok I decided to go out and hit some of the bars. I left my hotel in Soi Diana and visited LK Metro Soi Buakhao and Tree Town. I was not in Pattaya for a girlfriend or any sort of gymnastics but rather to party relax make friends and people watch.

After the third night of drinking and partying at some now regular bars I had run out of cash while in a new bar and I was unable to pay the bar tab. So I went with an employee of the bar to get some more cash from the local ATM machine. The ATM kept saying “Transaction denied.” I had drawn money out of the ATM two times prior so there shouldn’t have been any problems getting more cash out this time. Oh no immediately my mind went to “banged up abroad” mode with me owing a bar around 500 baht more and not being able to get it out of my bank account.

Panicking I tried to think of ways I could get some time to sort the problem out with my bank. Luckily the bar I was in was next door to one of the regular bars I had visited for the last few days. I had been chatting with the staff of the regular bar and had got along very well with the girls in there. I thought maybe they could vouch for me. So I headed with the security of the bar that I owed money to into the regular bar and told the girls there my problem. They all vouched for me but the cashier decided that she would just pay off my account at the other bar and I just had to pay her back.

I couldn’t believe it that someone I had only known for 3 days would do that for me. But she insisted and paid the outstanding money to the security guy from the other bar. I thanked her and started making calls to my bank to get the problem sorted.

After talking to the bank on their 24/7 line I found out that they had frozen my account because I had forgotten to tell them I was going to Thailand and they thought the account activity was strange. Luckily I was able to get them to re enable my account so I could continue to withdraw from ATMs. It took around 2 hours for my accounts to become active again. I withdrew some money from the ATM once my account was back online but it was after 200 a.m. so I headed back the next day to the regular bar to repay the cashier. I gave her double what she had paid for her troubles and for believing in me.

The Lesson From a Frozen Bank Account

It just goes to show you that Thai bar girls and the cashiers can be very good friends if you treat them well from day one. I spent a lot of my spare time in that bar chatting with the girls from that day on and I’ll be going back there when I return to Pattaya on my next trip.

Moral of the story always give your regular bank your travel details before you leave home and they won’t freeze your account.