A Decade of Darkness From a Thai Singer to a Nightmare in England

I worked out in India and I fell in love with it and then used to go there for holidays. I found it quite lonely for a single traveler and also irritating as you can get talked into doing things you didn’t really want to do. I was explaining this to a friend and he said “If you like India you’re going to love Thailand.” So I booked my trip knowing very little about Thailand. This would have been about 2005 or 2006.

I had booked the hotel on a whim out of the Lonely Planet guide on the morning I was traveling. The hotel was the Siam Siam near the palace. When I got there I was in shock: no bright lights, no bars, just the palace. I tried to get a taxi to take me to the action but he didn’t really understand and he just drove me around the palace in the dark. In desperation I went to the hotel and asked if they had a bar. They said there was a restaurant but there was a party on. I went in and there was my future wife upon stage singing.

I sat down, got a beer, and couldn’t believe my luck when she came over to talk to me. Her English teacher was there and suggested she come to talk to me to learn some English. Obviously I had other ideas. It took a lot of persuasion to get her to my room as it wasn’t allowed. Nighttime activities ensued but she was very shy. From my side I thought I’d hit the jackpot.

In the morning we found out the hotel knew she had stayed and she lost her job. She was 35 and from Isan and divorced. The next day I asked her to show me around but she didn’t know Bangkok that well either. She drove to Khao San Road and we went to a few bars. When we got back the car was clamped and the policeman said “Go pay the fine at the tourist police.” When we were paying the fine the policeman asked “Have you been drinking?” She said “Yes but we’re only going over the bridge.” He said “Ah okay” and let us go home. Only in Thailand.

I decided I wanted to go to Chiang Mai and asked her if she wanted to come and she agreed. We flew up and were having a nice time when she bumped into a Thai guy she knew who had a Norwegian girlfriend. We spent the afternoon drinking in their apartment and watching Fawlty Towers on live TV. Later on we went to a bar to play pool. We were all there having a good time until either I spent too long chatting to the pool girl or paid too much attention to the Norwegian girl. All I remember is, let’s call her Knock, walking towards me holding a pool cue and whacking it over my head.

I didn’t know what had hit me. The cue snapped in half and I was covered in blood. They picked her up, threw her out, and locked the door. She was punching the door. I had to pay for drinks and damage. I stupidly went back to the hotel and she attacked me again. This time I defended myself and you guessed it suddenly she had to go to the hospital. Big fuss all the hotel staff there etc. I literally hardly touched her at this point. I called my boss in England and warned him I might be going to jail. I waited for her to sleep and then left with all my stuff. She called and called and in the end I went back. This was just the beginning.

Loy Krathong in Chiang Mai and Fireworks at the Airport

We had a nice time celebrating Loy Krathong in Chiang Mai and letting off a boatload of fireworks. I love fireworks and they were very cheap. Going through the airport we got searched and unbeknownst to me she had a load of fireworks in her handbag. You won’t believe this but they apologized and said we couldn’t take them on the plane but we could have them back at the other end. Again only in Thailand. I said “It’s fine, throw them away.”

I’m going to skip a couple of years’ detail but I would go back frequently. We spent most of the time visiting family. She had two children. They lived with the ex husband who owned two restaurants. There was the usual “can I lend money” but not too much and it was a great education in what real Thai life is like. One or two flare-ups including her trying to set fire to my clothes but I was love blind by this point. I still remember my time in Udon Thani although I remember having to run away a couple of times. One of the times with money still makes me chuckle.

They asked if I could lend her ex husband‘s brother 10500 baht. I agreed and I gave the money. A couple of years later we were sitting in a pub in the UK and I said “Well you never get loans back off the Thais.” Knock said “What do you mean?” I said “Well we never got the money back off the Thai brother in law.” She said “Yes we did.” I said “Well where is it then?” She said “We used it to buy a motorbike for the two boys.” Unbelievable right?

Around this time the singing work had dried up and so we ended up building a bar yes building on Koh Samui just up the road from Chaweng. I let her handle it and that was a mistake because it was next to a five-star all-inclusive resort. It was great fun even though it made a huge loss. Sometimes there would be six of us sleeping on the floor two waiters two kids and us. I noticed that her flare-ups were increasing and it wasn’t just me she was taking it out on everyone. Slowly, staff were sacked, customers were banned, etc. I didn’t think much about it still love blind. I still have great memories and great videos of our time at the bar getting drunk with the customers and playing silly jokes. I was on top of the world at this point.

However I was getting more and more wary of talking to any other women at this point as I was fearful. We came back from an island one time during Songkran and Knock and the kids wanted to sleep so I was left out on the street with my lonely bucket of water. The bar girls up the road were calling for me to come and join in. I dare not if she caught me I’d be dead.

So the bar wasn’t doing well and we were married at this point. So I came to England we could work and save up and buy a place in Thailand and retire. I worked for a large investment bank and had a big life in the city. Not me. I got a job over the road doing cleaning work. It was all good. We had all the Thai girls round with their farang boyfriends for barbecues big parties and days out.

A Wedding Anniversary Surprise Leads to Suspicion

One day it was our wedding anniversary and I had spare holiday. So I pretended to go to work but secretly went and bought banners, flowers, etc. I put rose petals up the stairs and then hid while she came home to surprise her. All seemed well. We went out for a meal with friends and it was all good. A couple of days later she said “Now I can’t trust you.” This wasn’t good. She started saying things like “I don’t believe you go to work you go see lady.” This was starting to affect my mental health as I never knew what was coming next. I’d never dreamed of cheating on her and she was perfect. I took her up to the investment bank to show her what a big operation it was but it didn’t work.

She used to call me and say “I know you’re not at work.” It got so bad I couldn’t go out for a drink after work because I was scared of coming home late. She used to time me getting home from work.

Here’s where it went really bad. I was sitting in the kitchen one day and I got a text. It was my sister asking what Knock wanted for Christmas. She started throwing things around the kitchen saying “You always speak to lady.” I lost my temper and said “There is my phone no password. You go through it. If you don’t find anything…” Big mistake.

There were over 200 texts to my female boss saying things like “Where are you?” “Out last night?” “Were you?” and the killer one “Hurry up I’m starving Marvin.” My boss and I had an arrangement. I’d go to the pub on Friday for two hours and she wouldn’t say anything as long as I bought her fish and chips back. That was it apart from banter. Knock proceeded to copy all the texts to paper by hand and declared that “Starving Marvin” was a place that I met my boss for aerobics. Oh yeah I forgot she had seen my boss crying outside a pub with me. Her dad was dying from blood cancer but Knock said it was because I was dumping her.

One night Knock phoned my boss and threatened her. I was hauled up in front of my management and I nearly lost my job. It was only lucky that the manager also had a psycho wife and understood.

Think it can’t get any worse? Think again. So I can’t remember the exact order but there was one night I had to lock myself in the bathroom whilst Knock tried to smash down the door with a metal pole. I called the police because I was worried and they came around and threw me out of my own house in the middle of the night.

Knock Turns Friends Against Him at the Local Pub

Knock had decided to leave and was staying with a friend. I got wind that she would be down our local pub that night so I decided to go to make sure that she didn’t spread any lies about me. Unbeknownst to me they had been sitting in the garden drinking Jack Daniels all afternoon. I was fresh from work. I was talking to Knock and someone came over and said “I have a Thai girlfriend does yours want to come over and talk?” I said yes.

Now this was a very rough pub all sorts of characters. A while later a guy comes over and starts shouting in my face two of his friends behind him big guys. For whatever reason Knock had told them I burnt her with cigarettes. If I’d been quicker thinking I’d have said “Show me the scars then.” But it all got out of hand quickly. I was lucky that one of the guys took me into the toilet and I explained what was going on. We were then escorted outside the back door by the landlady. The landlady said “If Knock comes back tomorrow I will tell you what’s been done.” Knock never went back to the pub. I went and when I came back she was gone for good.

There is a part two to this involving my second wife but it is very dark indeed.

Divorcing Knock and Paying the Settlement

So about 6 months later my second wife girlfriend at the time insisted I go to Thailand to get a divorce. We arranged it and it was 40 baht for the divorce at the Amphur office and 130000 baht to Knock in compensation. However the final twist did Knock spend the money on her kids? No she had a nose job and a boob job thus ruining what I consider to be a perfect body.

During the time Knock was in England we visited a pub in the city close to my office. There was an England game on and everybody had their England shirts on the mood was great. Knock and I were sitting at a table and a girl I vaguely knew came over to say hello. She was Eastern European and very charming. At that point given all the problems Knock and I were having I remember thinking “I wish I had a nice wife like you.” This will become a perfect example of “be careful what you wish for.”

After Knock had left I started going for drinks after work with the office crowd. Normally I would go home after but one night I thought I would have a nightcap at the city pub. This was a pub where everybody knew each other I’d been drinking there for years. The friendly Eastern European girl was there let’s call her Natasha. I knew a bit about her she was a high earning professional the same as me. We were chatting away but people around the bar started saying things like “You two should get together you would be perfect.” I started saying things like “It’s too soon after Knock” which it was. I didn’t know but Natasha had already told everyone that she was after me.

Drink took over and we ended up back at Natasha‘s apartment for a while. I was spellbound. The pair of us were going to high flying corporate events expensive meals and holidays. Our arrangement was that I would stay at my place in the week and go and stay with Natasha at the weekends.

The first red flag should have been here: she was constantly asking me to come over earlier or stay for longer. There were a few incidents with rows over stupid things. I put these down to both being drunk which was a fair call but I had a feeling in the back of my mind something was wrong.

Sometime later Natasha was made redundant and given a small payout. I suggested she look for another job as her place was very expensive so it would be worth her staying. She just sat around reading books. I ended up paying every month for everything mortgage the lot. After about a year of this I just suggested she sell her house and move in with me. She refused until she found out how much money she could make on the sale. This would clear her debts and leave her with a hefty sum in the bank.

The Second Marriage Begins with Plans for a Dream Home

She moved into my house in a town that she had previously described as “downmarket.” I’d introduced her to the locals in the pub and she quickly got her feet under the table so to speak. For a while things were okay and we even had all the old Thai friends around for barbecues. The plan had been to sell both our places and buy our dream home. After a long time she got another high flying job so things were looking up. We found our dream home and moved in.

Suddenly she missed the town she had called “downmarket” and was calling some of the guys from the pub from time to time. A few other things had happened and I began to work out that this was a power struggle and not a relationship. I’d been down and missing the Far East but I knew Thailand was out of the question as she hated my Thai ex wife and probably guessed I was missing the good times I had in Thailand.

I booked a full on five star trip to India. We arrived in India after quite a few drinks in business class. After we had filled in the wrong forms we were sent to the back of the queue. She lost the plot and started screaming that she wanted a cigarette. Security looked worried and said to her “She can smoke in the toilets if she’s quiet.” She started screaming that she was not smoking in the toilet so they sent her through diplomatic. I was having none of that so went through normal channels and did what I would later do many times I went on strike. I sat in the airport with a bottle of wine refusing to move. Eventually a taxi driver had been sent to find me and I was taken to the five star hotel.

When I got to the room I was disgusted there were empty bottles and cigarette butts everywhere. The next day I went on a bender in town and completely ignored her. Eventually I was tracked down via Facebook and returned to the hotel. Things calmed down and we spent a very expensive but pleasant week in the mountains. All seemed well.

When we got to the airport they said “Can we offer you first class for an extra £400 each?” I paid and all was well until near the end of the flight. She had had a lot to drink and refused to sit down for landing even when the first officer came out to talk to her. I had to restrain her. When we landed she then refused to get off the plane. I was fuming. They eventually got her off the plane but she passed out in arrivals. I left and went to the pub in departures only to find two policemen looking for me. The pair of us were duly thrown out of a major airport.

When we got home she was shouting and I thought I’d lost my bank card so I lost it a bit and kicked her chair and told her to shut up. Next thing I know the police are there because she told them I’d punched her in the ribs. A night in jail in shorts and flip-flops. Very uncomfortable.

Threats and Control Turn Everyday Life into Fear

When I finally got home I was exhausted and I could only lie down. She said to me “You are not going to work tomorrow are you?” I said “Of course I am.” She said “If you know what’s good for you you will stay here and look after me.” This was the moment I knew I was in deep trouble. I can’t afford a criminal record of any kind in my line of work.

Before the arrest incident she had tried to control me by phone and my family but that had failed because they stood by me whilst causing a lot of stress to my elderly parents. I was starting to become unstable because I felt like I was in one of those movies where you have seen something but no one believes you. I started therapy in the hopes of her coming along too. I remember the therapist telling me “You have to divorce or you will be left picking up the pieces.”

Arrest number two. My very good friend died suddenly and the funeral coincided with a cheap holiday I’d booked for us that she insisted she must go on. She spent nights telling me how worthless my friends and family were until one night I lost it and screamed at her. Nothing happened until the night before the funeral when the police arrived and took me away. Apparently I had threatened her with an axe three nights before but it had taken her that long to call the police. I missed one of my best friend’s funerals by being in jail.

I moved out. I was generally fearful. I looked into divorce but they said “Oh don’t worry it will be 50/50.” But she had spent all her money so I’d be getting 50% of not very much and mostly my own money. She would take me to the cleaners.

I couldn’t sleep. One day she would beg for me to come home; another day she would send threats. After a while I moved back because it wasn’t working out where I was. I made it plain I wasn’t moving back for her but for myself and things would not get better until she stopped drinking whiskey. It was hell. She would spend all night on the phone talking to guys about how bad I was. Oh did I mention she was running up a £500 a month tab on our landline? I was truly miserable.

Around this time I was told everybody was to be temporarily laid off for 3 weeks at Christmas which is normal in my line of work. I didn’t hesitate. Trip to Thailand my chance to get a bit of fun and happiness after 10 years of misery. She went mental but I stuck to my guns. I was going to Thailand. All I had to do was stick it out until then.

A Knife Attack and a False Police Call

Arrest number three. One night she got drunk and started arguing. I wasn’t having any of it and stood up to her. She spent 30 minutes chasing me around the kitchen table with one of my chef’s knives. She then tried to smash me around the head with my laptop. Then she called the police and got on the phone and told them what had happened. They said “Stay there we want to speak to you.” I told them “Do you think I’m stupid?” and I left. I went to a hotel but could barely work because I was in a mess. I’m not joking I kept going out on the balcony wondering if it would hurt if I jumped.

After a couple of days the police called and said they were worried as Natasha had filed a missing person’s report. Like an idiot I told them where I was and was duly arrested in front of everyone. After release I ran away with nothing except my laptop. I could not jeopardize Thailand I needed it.

Some of my family and I returned to get my stuff at the weekend. She wouldn’t let us in but we got in after 8 hours. We had asked the police to come around to keep the peace. Do you think they did? Like hell. I got my stuff and cleared off but not before she declared she was going to do herself in if I left. We had to spend time on the phone with Samaritans listening to her try to BS them. I remember “Do you still feel like doing yourself in?” She answered “Yes, but I’m not going to do it until next week because I’ve got a funeral to go to.”

I made it to Thailand. But this time I went to all the places I’d never been to Nana Plaza Soi Cowboy etc. I was on a mission. Face masks were not mandatory. And of course I met a girl. I started sending money and I promised I’d be back soon. I went back as soon as I could for 3 months and stayed with this girl. This was another disaster. All she wanted to do was sit in the bedroom all day on her phone with the air conditioner on. We were one and a half hours outside Bangkok and there wasn’t even a bar where we were. I literally spent 3 months on my balcony drinking beer not an exaggeration. I returned home promising to go back to the girl.

I went back to work. I was getting more and more messages from the wife begging me to come back saying she was in a bad way and needed looking after. I said I couldn’t and I carried on with work. Around Christmas time I got a call from a friend saying “You better go there’s trouble it’s serious.” I did go for a brief visit. She was thin but didn’t seem too bad to me. I went back home for Christmas. After Christmas things got serious. She was yellow. Up until the end she was playing games. The doctor said “You need to go to hospital now or you will pass away.” She said she wanted the weekend and would go in on Thursday.

He held up the bottle and said “That’s all you can have until Tuesday.” As soon as he was gone she was asking us to go to the supermarket. To keep this short we all sat around day and night in the hospital watching her pass on slowly.

Considering a Relationship with an Older Thai Woman After Cancer Recovery

My Thailand adventures started back in December 2021. I had just completed a year of surgeries for colon cancer and scheduled a celebration vacation. Thankfully I am more or less all good now. I am 54 and have been divorced for a little over 5 years. I have two children who are now both in their 20s and doing well. I’ve been enjoying single life for the past 20 years but I am now ready to find someone to get into a relationship with.

I lived and worked in Shanghai China for about 5 years and had a lot of experience with the massage and girly bar scene there along with all the stories from my friends who had visited Thailand. I felt pretty prepared for what to expect. So from the beginning I decided that I would try to find a Thai woman that had potential for a long-term relationship as I am planning on retiring there within the next few years. I do enjoy spending time with the hot bar girls and understand the benefits of that but at this stage in my life great aerobics is simply not enough.

For my first trip I had met a woman on Thai Cupid and talked with her for a few months before my trip. She was pretty awesome great smile great body great personality. We had video chats usually once or twice a day. She met me in Bangkok and she drove me down to Hua Hin for what was planned as a one week vacation together. My expectations of her were exceeded upon meeting that is until our first dinner together when she brought up the subject of supporting her. I was not ready or willing to start paying her to be my girlfriend. So I politely told her she should probably just leave in the morning which she did. I was disappointed it did not work out but luckily I found a very attractive massage girl to spend time with so it was still a great trip.

For my next trip I had arranged to meet another woman I had met on Thai Cupid. She lived in a small village and owned her own restaurant a hard worker which I respected. We had a great time together and she was very caring. I enjoyed 10 days with her. However her English was almost non-existent which obviously made communication a bit challenging. Initially I thought we could overcome this but after my return home it was really hard just texting back and forth. I wanted to be able to video chat with her which was basically impossible since we could not understand what each other was saying. So I decided to end it there and then.

For my next trip I decided to increase my odds and plan to visit three different cities while meeting a different woman in each location. I had moved to Thai Friendly. Once I joined that site the number of likes and messages I received was pretty overwhelming. I quickly learned how to weed out some of them though and identify women I would actually be interested in meeting. I would guess 90% were just working girls looking to make some extra money from foreigners. I was able to find three good prospects and made plans with them accordingly.

My first stop was in Khon Kaen and I was meeting a woman who was well above my target age range but she seemed pretty awesome and was very attractive. She had a good government job and actually paid for quite a few things which surprised me. We had a great time together. I was staying there for 4 days and we spent the entire time together. After the first two days she invited me to stay with her at her house so I checked out of the hotel. Lots of laughs together and literally just enjoyed staring into her eyes.

Meeting the Older Woman in Pattaya and Questioning the Connection

Next stop was Pattaya. The woman I was meeting did not live there but we agreed that it would be a nice place to spend a few days. She picked me up at the airport in Bangkok and we drove down together from there. She was really nice, very cute, and also had a great body but I did not really feel a good connection with her. She wanted me to go back to her village for a couple of days and continue on with me for the remainder of my trip but I politely declined and told her I had already made plans to meet a friend.

The third stop was in Hua Hin. This would be my third time visiting there. I’d not really set any formal plans for meeting the woman there and the first couple of days she was not available. It was not a big deal as I have a friend who lives there. So I had a great time with him and his wife going out to dinner, drinking, playing pool, and just hanging out. I met a really fun girl in one of the bars and spent some time with her. I finally was able to schedule a dinner with my original prospect. We had a really nice night out but again I didn’t really feel a connection with her. She drove me back to my hotel at the end of the night and I didn’t even invite her in.

Instead I headed back out to the bar where I had met another girl for a few hours of fun.

It had been over a week since I met the girl in Khon Kaen and every day I was thinking about her. I decided she was the one. Along with a good job she also owns her own home which is very nice and owns a new car so I wouldn’t have to worry about her asking me for support money. Like me she has two adult children. She has been divorced for about 9 years. Everything feels right but I can’t help but continue to think about her age. Not only is she above my target age range but she is actually older than me. I kind of feel stupid for worrying about that. She looks like she’s in her late 30s even though she’s in her mid 50s.

On a side note I just turned 54. I’m not a bad looking guy I’m from California and I like to think I keep myself in pretty decent shape.