Navigating the Thai Dating Minefield

My story starts In May 2018, I was getting ready for a trip to Thailand for that upcoming September.

I was actually pretty interested in dating a Thai woman while I was there, because I was not that interested in the women I came across in my town.

I decided to try out a dating websites called Thai Cupid and ThaiFriendly.

Thaifriendly seemed like it was just full of working girls, while Thai Cupid seemed to be for people looking for an actual relationship.

So I stuck with Thai Cupid. There, I got a message from a Thai woman that called herself Rain.

Thai Girl Named Rain From Thai Cupid

She was 26 years old, and I was 45 at the time.

Yes its a big age gap but I wasn’t looking for something long term or serious at the time, so I went along with it.

I was told that a lot of the girls that work in bars will tell you that they do some type of professional job instead.

Rain told me she worked at CM Paragon in Bangkok, and I saw some pictures of the place, so I had no reason not to believe her.

She also mentioned that she had two kids from a previous relationship in Thailand, and I was fine with that.

She Ghosted Me After Weeks of Chatting

We chatted every day for about two weeks getting to know about each other life and stuff, but then, all of a sudden, she stopped messaging me.

I thought, “Well, it’s not like I’ve met her in person,” and I kind of moved on, striking up conversation with other girls.

Then, after about two weeks, she got in touch with me again, saying her phone had broke and she had some other issues to deal with. I was surprised and a little skeptical but was really glad to hear from her again.

We kept chatting every day, and when September arrived, I finally flew to Thailand to meet her.

I was pretty nervous but very excited at the same time.

Sight Seeing and A Fantastic Time With Rain

We traveled to Chiang Mai, Phuket, and Hua Hin sight seeing and having fun, it turned out to be a fantastic holiday and I really enjoyed my time with her.

On the last night of our holiday, she suggested that we buy friendship rings from MBK Center in Bangkok, which we did.

The next day, I flew back to the UK, as things went better than expected with Rain, I was left thinking that I was in a serious relationship.

Then just like I had been warned by previous people that have visited Thailand before, Rain began to tell me that she had some debts to settle and had quit her job.

She mentioned she had moved back to Isan for some reason, which I didn’t really understand.

Despite all the warning signs and the red flags, I stupidly started sending her 10,000 baht each month.

We carried on talking and video chatting every day on social media, and then after saving up for a bit we agreed that I will return to Thailand in March 2019

However, about a month before my trip, Rain told me she was having issues with her phone. I offered to buy her a new one, but she declined.

I found her refusal a bit strange, especially considering some stories I had read and the fact that she had been asking me for money every month to support her. After that, I lost contact with her again.

March quickly came up and it was time for me to fly back to Bangkok for my holiday, I kind of hoped to meet her again as she knew when id be arriving and knew my plans.

No Sign of Rain At The Airport

I did wait around at the airport for an hour or so when I landed in Bangkok, hoping she might show up but unfortunately there was no sign of her.

When Rain didn’t show up, I had to leave because I was tired. I headed to my hotel. I had flight tickets and a hotel reservation for both of us to visit her family in Konkan. I also had tickets for Koh Samui with her.

Even though the tickets were already paid for, I went on the trip alone, I didn’t want to waste them and the money I had spent on them.

But the holiday just wasn’t the same without Rain, I was feeling really down during that time, my friends suggested I should try making friends with another girl.

However, my mindset wasn’t right for that as sad as it sounds, I just wanted to be with Rain like we had planned, so I was relieved when the holiday was over.

It was a strange feeling because I had always loved Thailand as a country but this time I just couldn’t wait to leave.

Here Come The Sorries

About two weeks after my solo holiday and being back in the UK, Rain got in touch with me and apologized for not meeting up with me. She explained that her mom had been sick, and her phone had broken.

I wasn’t entirely convinced by her story and again thought there was more to it than this, but being the naive guy that I am, we continued to talk as usual. However, she started asking for more money.

I don’t know what made me do it, maybe I was a little bit in love or just had visions of this relationship actually working, but I made the mistake of sending her 20,000 baht each month, doubling the amount I was sending before.

I was also friends with her on Facebook, and I left supportive comments on her posts and showing that I care for her.

An American guy who lived in Thailand saw my comments on Facebook and contacted me. He revealed that Rain had been with him before I met her, and they were now reconnecting as friends. He even showed me the messages between them to confirm his story.

Clearly I was not happy that Rain had been lying to me and When I confronted Rain about this, she claimed to have blocked the guy on Messenger.

I Think She Is Fooling Me And Many Other Guys Online

The American guy confirmed to me that Rain had indeed blocked him from messaging her again in the future. Rain then told me, and I quote, “So sorry, me had to do it for money as family have nothing.”

I was sending her 20,000 a month, and in Thailand, that’s a good wage so I was pretty upset because I was providing her with a decent monthly income, and she had done this with another guy behind my back.

Rain promised never to do this again, and being the guy I was I forgave her, im not sure why at the point I didn’t just run for the hills and move on.

We continued as normal, like nothing bad had happened and we arranged to meet again in June 2019.

Trying To Make It Work… Again

We stayed in a hotel, and we all went out to dinner with her ten family members, with me of course paying for everything.

Afterward, we headed to Kon Kean with her family.

Rain and I then took a holiday trip to Phuket just the 2 of us away from her family and to get some alone time.

I asked Rain if she could post a photo of us together on Facebook to show that we were a couple, especially after the issues with the American guy, I guess I was just after some reassurance that its me she wanted to be with. However, she refused.

I told her that I didn’t want to keep supportng her any longer because I wasn’t sure about her intentions or if she even wanted to be with me or not.

In the end, Rain did post my picture on her Facebook page along with hers.

Now Another Guy Contacting Me About Her

About a month after I had returned to England, a Swedish guy contacted me, again on Facebook. Im pretty sure you can guess what he says

The Swedish guy told me that he had seen me on Rain’s Facebook and warned me not to trust her too much.

It turns out that just last month, she has been feeding him the same sob story about needing money to which he had sent her some, and she had also sent him some explicit photos in return. He showed me all the evidence so I knew he wasn’t just trying to get in the way.

I felt sick to my stomach and pretty betrayed, even though deep down I knew she wasn’t being honest with me

Rain and I had a heated argument about this. She blocked the Swedish guy, but it turned out that he didn’t want to be with her anymore, and their relationship had apparently only lasted a month.

She Moved On And Met ANOTHER Foreigner

A few days of silence followed after that incident until Rain messaged me out of no where one day with a picture of her and another foreign man, simply saying “Sorry, I need to block you now”

I finally accepted that this relationship was going no where and that Rain was just out to get as much money as possible from as many people as possible.

A month later, she unblocked me and apologized, saying she had to do it for money. She also mentioned that she wasn’t too serious with that other guy and that I was the best for her. Then, she asked if I could send her some money for her daughter’s birthday.

By now I had already came to my senses, maybe a little to late but better late then never I guess.

I was extremely angry, and I told her that if she didn’t stop messaging me, I would show her messages to her current boyfriend, who was now on her Facebook profile.

It turns out that the Swedish guy who had warned me about Rain had also given a heads-up to this new guy.

I Feel Sorry For Her New Guy

I feel bad for him and I probably should warn him, but at the same time I just don’t want anything to do with her anymore so I think its best I stay out of her business and just let them get on with it. Im sure he will find out sooner or later the person that Rain really is.

I just wanted to share this story so people know it’s not only bar girls who lie to foreigners; some girls with regular jobs can be just as bad.

Since then, I’ve been in contact with a different type of Thai girl. Since January of last year, I’ve been getting to know a woman who holds the position of director of education and successfully runs a food business with her mother.

We have video chats every day, and one of the best things and reassuring things of our relationship is that she has never asked me for money.

she is also different to Rain so i guess of this short story is yes many girls you meet in thailand and on thai dating sites will be out to scam you and you should not get into relationships with these kind of girls

Its My Fault, I Ignored All The Warning Signs

My mistake is that all the warning signs were played out in front of me and i chose to ignore them

most guys are not stupid if a girl starts messing about with other guys while you are seeing her or she is constantly asking for money move on it’s simple

it’s a cliche but true there are so many more fish in the sea and as difficult of a minefield the dating scene is in thailand many nice normal decent girls are available for serious relationships

if you take the time to look and don’t jump into the first relationship because this girl speaks english well and is forthcoming