Pattaya Blackmail and Bar Girl Lessons

I come from a small and poor country in the Balkans. Growing up in a stereotypical ‘rough’ neighborhood being raised by my poor single mum as a teenager learning a martial art was a bare minimum. I had to do it to keep myself safe even returning from school was a challenge. I wanted at the very least to be able to fight before I got beaten up every day on the way home from school or while out and about. That martial art just happened to be Muay Thai. I didn’t even know Thailand existed back then.

Slowly I started learning about this country and over time I fell in love with every single aspect of Thailand from their boxing style to their religion to the cuisine and of course the hot and exotic women. It became my dream to go there in order to test myself against other fighters and enjoy the whole package that Thailand has to offer. I also decided that I wanted to go with a big budget not like some sort of cheap Charlie on a small budget.

It took me many many years of hard work a poor lifestyle overcoming difficulties and having to start my life from zero but in the end I made it. Now finally in my 30s I was finally able to fulfill this dream that I had for more than a decade.

I guess all of the above made my experience a lot stronger than it normally should be. I’m saying this because just walking the streets of Bangkok alone made my heart pound and my eyes watery because I was finally in the same places I’d spent so much of my life watching on YouTube and wondering if I’d ever make it there. Everything was a shock to me even the Muay Thai which I trained at all my life but it was completely different from the one they teach in Thailand.

And what about my time with the ladies? Wow. My time with the ladies was beyond my wildest dreams. I had never seen an Asian lady before in real life so imagine what it felt like for me dating them even if it was mostly brief encounters. Talking with them and listening to their backgrounds was like magic to me. I took very good care of them and treated them with the utmost respect. Dare I say it I actually treated them better than I can imagine treating my future wife.

Tar The One That Got Away

Spending time with these charming beauties it became extremely difficult for me to keep it all professional and not bond with some of them especially with the last lady I met in Bangkok. She was amazingly beautiful always smiling happy with natural good looks. She told me her name was Tar. After a couple of amazing days together she asked me if I could have a serious relationship with her stating that she doesn’t care if I don’t have much money all she wanted was to stay together. She told me that we would figure things out if we ended up married.

I’m not the type of guy to fully trust a woman let alone an exotic beauty like Tar but she really did come across as sincere. And besides what could she gain from me? I was poor. She said she doesn’t want to leave Thailand so she didn’t even want a passport. I will probably never find out if this was a scam or not. By some miracle I managed to spend a whole week with her in Bangkok without asking her for a serious relationship. I convinced myself it was a scam.

I wish it was a scam and I hadn’t made one of the biggest mistakes of my life by not believing her. Money wise I couldn’t afford to be scammed since I would return to my country with next to no money. The plan to arrive in Thailand with a huge budget did not really work out in reality.

I managed to end the week long affair with her without too many tears as I used the excuse that I didn’t want to stay full time in Thailand so a relationship between us would not work out. I also told her I make 900 euros a month and have quite high expenses back home so I couldn’t support her at all. I definitely had feelings for her but it’s not like I was crazy in love with her even though she was near perfect.

Lana The Addiction

I decided on a trip down to Pattaya. I made up my mind that there would be no more sightseeing no more gym and no more bonding with any Thai ladies. I was going to spend the rest of my time enjoying myself in bars and having relationships that weren’t serious. After all I might not get another chance like this to visit Thailand.

Well that decision didn’t age for more than a few hours. Because while I was browsing the dating app Thai Friendly I found her. Let’s just call her Lana since her real name is pretty unique and I don’t want people looking for her in the app and spamming her. Lana’s looks shocked me. I’m being honest here when I first saw her my head dipped down as if something had landed on it. By now I already knew that such a beauty could only be a working girl. So I arranged a meeting in my hotel and my God she was even better than her pictures on Thai Friendly. She was definitely the most beautiful girl that I’d met in Thailand in the short time I’d been here.

I became addicted to her and asked if she could spend the whole week with me. She asked for an insane amount of money which at the time didn’t really sink in and I just said yes. How could I say no to this beautiful woman in front of me? Lana was 25 years old at the time and I was only slightly older than her by just a few years. We pretty much had the same interests and conversations were fairly decent as her English was quite good. And yes needless to say the aerobics were out of this world. I think she actually taught me a thing or two if truth be told.

After a few days Lana told me that she really liked me and would be interested in getting into a long term relationship with me. She also told me that she has a daughter back home in her village and she needed support. Even though she liked me she couldn’t stop work unless she had an income which she hoped I could supply her with. This might sound a little crazy but I was so crazy in love with her at the time that I put together some kind of silly financial plan. I can’t really remember how much of course it was too low. She was very disappointed and just told me she would have to say goodbye.

This story happened not so long ago and I still can’t get her out of my head. How people’s lives are so dictated by money in Thailand. I guess we take a lot of things for granted in the West but not having any social support in Thailand makes many people do desperate things to survive and take care of their families. Who am I to judge?

Plans for 2023

Based on my experiences in Thailand I have decided on two things for 2023. Firstly I will get my act together and make good use of the few assets I have in my country while at the same time try to get a job working abroad in a real country that can actually pay what a hard working industrial mechanic deserves. Secondly I will return to Thailand with much more experience and I will be looking for a serious long term relationship with somebody who is not working in the bars. Whether I’ll succeed or not is yet to be seen because perhaps the good girls are all married off at a young age.

My story wasn’t very exciting but I just wanted people to know what it’s like for younger guys who live in poorer European countries. While I’m coming from a country that’s like a small town still in my early 30s living among people with scripted boring lives. In my country among some people who know me I’m even considered some sort of a crazy hero for doing what most people in the West would call a normal vacation trip.

Story Two The Counter Surveillance Expert Who Got Caught

Here’s some background. I joined the military in 1990 and of course have had great adventures all over the world. As my career progressed I started to look at other options available within the service SAS SBS and Special Operations. As time went on I ended up based in London working in a high tempo environment which involved being away for months on end and usually in places which would not be your first choice of a vacation. Over the years I continued my duties and gained vast experiences in the world of anti human trafficking counter and anti terrorism. In addition I was at the top of my game in surveillance and counter surveillance or so I thought.

This life which I had chosen took its toll on my relationship and in early 2015 my long term partner and I agreed on a trial separation. Having not taken leave for a few years my leave allowance had accumulated to several months and my application for eight weeks’ leave was approved. A couple of my colleagues from the service had visited Thailand several times and I had always enjoyed listening to them talking of their adventures. So I decided to take the bull by the horns and arrange my trip.

I’d never in my life traveled to a holiday destination alone but had deployed alone on operations all over the world. How tricky could this be? I was soon to find out. I booked 30 nights at the Hilton in Pattaya and arrived in anticipation of relaxing and enjoying what Thailand had to offer.

Meeting Tip

My first couple of days were spent at the hotel just orientating myself to the environment. On the first Friday I went out and was soon enjoying the bars and restaurants. I found one which was to become my favorite bar and started to frequent it often. And of course I soon met a young lady by the name of Tip. She was a stunner to say the least perfect in every way. Her spoken English was exemplary her manners and self confidence were refreshing and we hit it off straight away. I made it clear that there was never going to be a long term relationship and that my visit to Thailand was a fun trip. I was not looking for anything more.

Being my first time in Thailand I had chosen to take things slow and so we would generally sit in the bar. I didn’t mind buying drinks and splashing the cash over 20 years on a decent salary meant I was financially stable. I would even invite several of her friends to join us and to be honest I was really enjoying the attention and companionship of these young ladies.

Years of playing rugby had taken its toll. One part of my nose is going to the shops and the other part is coming back with the change. My ears look like something that Shrek would be proud of. So I’m certainly not a handsome man.

I have to point out that during my duties I have been in hundreds of places where the ladies work during the hours of darkness and I thought to myself I would be well in the know. The nature of my work meant that I was never off duty and would keep my wits about me checking all arriving people monitoring the body language of everyone in the bar and constantly assessing my situation. When Tip would ask about my life in the UK I would simply reel off one of the many cover stories that I had used over the years very convincing every detail. I was honest about my partner from whom I was currently separated.

I became friends with the bar staff and would be very well looked after by all. We would post photos together and share the images to each other’s phone my first mistake.

The Goblet

As we were looking through my phone one night I had images of a collection of pewter goblets that I had been collecting over the years. These roused the interest of the ladies and were the topic of conversation for a while. At this point I had pointed out that there was one particular goblet I needed to complete the collection but so far had been unable to find it. It’s worth pointing out that during looking at the images on my phone Tip and our friends had seen many pictures of my long term partner from whom I was currently separated. Me thinking there was nothing wrong here didn’t give much thought to it mistake number two.

The rest of my holiday went without that incident despite many questions from Tip regarding my former partner and what would happen on my return to the UK. I was completely honest and told her that it was my hope that we would be able to sort things out and continue our relationship.

I must mention that I had the most wonderful time in Thailand and loved every minute that I spent there. The Thai people are absolutely wonderful it’s clear why Thailand is called the Land of Smiles.

The Blackmail

On my return to the UK I had three weeks of leave left and spent the time doing jobs around the house and gardens. I did receive a few messages from Tip and I thought she was genuinely interested in keeping in touch as friends.

One morning I went out to the post box. A package from Thailand was there not a box but an A5 size envelope. My curiosity got the better of me and I opened it right there on the driveway only to be confronted with a dozen or more photos which had been taken in the back of the bar in Thailand. Tip and I in all kinds of compromising poses her kiss on my cheek me appearing to be kissing her neck (I still remember her asking if I liked her perfume and as I smelled it I saw her friend with her phone at the ready).

The letter with the photos had a demand for money along with a very clear message of what would happen if I refused. How could I have been so stupid? All my years of experience. All the basic rules that I had adhered to. The training and operational deployments around the world. And a group of girls from a bar in Thailand have gotten the better of me.

Luckily for me I have had some contacts with the NCB (National Central Bureau which is INTERPOL Thailand) and the DSI. I submitted my report and an investigation was promptly initiated. It was concluded in less than 48 hours. Following what must have been a very harrowing experience for Tip and her friends I decided not to press charges as I’m sure the shock was enough to deter them from trying such things in the future.

There are two things I take away from this. First never let your guard down and never underestimate your situation when in Thailand. Second I wonder what would have happened if I were not connected to the security services around the world. If I was trying to save my relationship and those photos were sent to my partner it would have been over for sure.

I would like to finish with a question have other visitors to Thailand been a victim of this attempted bribery and what was the outcome? I doubt that the Thai police would be as swift to react as the other organizations.

Story Three Connect Four Violence and a Passport Lie

My name is Ray. I was 35 at the time of this story it was 2003.

Like most guys I was having a bad time in England. I was in a happy life or so I thought. But long story short my partner sent me a text to tell me our relationship was over. She was the love of my life and we had found out four weeks prior that she was pregnant it was going to be our first child together although I did have two kids from a previous relationship. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I had a good job I liked but my whole world felt like it had collapsed in on me. To say I was in a bad place would be an understatement.

I have a nephew called Paul and a friend called Paul as well. They had a trip booked to Thailand as they had been before and they came round to cheer me up and said ‘Why not come with them to Thailand for a holiday?’ To be honest I felt like I wanted to be alone with my misery. But I went to work the next day and spoke with my boss about my personal life we had a good relationship. I said about going to Thailand. He thought it was a great idea. He said I had more than enough holidays booked.

So I went that afternoon with Paul and booked the same flight and hotel as them. As it turned out I had been very lucky as it was only two weeks away and I managed to arrange everything really quickly. I had to go to get my injections and luckily enough I had just got a passport as I was going to go away with my ex partner.

I did not know anything really about Thailand and even though the two Pauls came around a couple of times and told me I would enjoy myself and told me about temples and it’s hot out there etc. I have to point out at this point that I had never been abroad before. So they did not exactly tell me much about the bar scene or any of that as they thought it was going to be more fun for me by not knowing anything. Little did I know how naive I was. Plus I should have known as we were always winding each other up.

So the day comes and we got on the aircraft. They were smiling the whole time and kept saying ‘Don’t forget what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand’ and kept laughing when they said it. I remember the long flight. I had not been on an aircraft before so a 12 hour flight was difficult for me and I could not sleep even though everyone else seemed to.

First Impressions

When we got off the aircraft and we were walking through the airport I think it was the first time I had felt air conditioning. Being totally naive again I had brought with me a pair of jeans a jumper and a coat and I laughed at my friends who were just in t shirts and shorts. It was not going to be long until they were going to be the ones laughing at me. We got our bags and the doors opened to the outside world. It was now around 10 PM as far as I can remember. It was early April and it was about 36 degrees. To say I nearly fainted because of the heat and humidity would not be far from the truth. It felt like someone had opened an oven door on me. I ran off to the toilets and changed my clothes as quick as I could.

I was thinking ‘How am I going to last in this heat? I’ll get heat stroke.’

We got a taxi on the way to a place I had not heard of before called Pattaya. We stayed at the Cozy Beach Hotel and when we put our bags in the room I was ready to sleep but it was not long until a bang on the door came from the two Pauls saying ‘Come on we are off for a few cold beers.’ I said ‘You’re joking it’s midnight everything will be shut.’ They laughed and dragged me out to a taxi. They told the driver to go straight to Walking Street.

The words ‘culture shock’ is an understatement. When I got out of the taxi and headed down Walking Street my eyes nearly popped out of my head. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing the people the scantily dressed girls shouting out at tourists. It was an explosion of senses in my brain and I loved it. I wasn’t a big drinker but that would change over the next three weeks.

We visited several go go bars. Some had shows like the ping pong ball shows which were quite an eye opener not really sexy but quite interesting to see at least once. I’m not sure if I’d want to go back a second time. Some girls came to join us in one of the bars. The one girl that sat with me was absolutely gorgeous. I couldn’t believe how good looking she was. Of course I invited her back to my hotel for more drinks. But in the morning she asked me for quite a substantial tip which took me back as I thought she wanted a little money for a taxi home. I really didn’t understand how it all worked. But I thought ‘Anyway just tip her what she is asking and don’t spoil the previous night’s memories.’

The Jenga Champion

One of the highlights of my trip seems quite petty now looking back on it but it is a great memory. We were in a bar one night playing some bar games and there was one particular game that was very popular it’s called Jenga. Anyway on this particular night they were having a competition to see who could get the highest score. Whoever got the highest score would have their picture taken with all the bar girls and the picture would be put on the wall. Anyway the highest score to date was 25 but by some stroke of luck and a miracle I actually reached 37 and beat the all time record of the bar. It felt like I’d won the World Cup when the whole bar erupted when I won. Such a great memory that could only be had in a place like Pattaya.

On a side note my nephew went back to that bar a year later my picture was still up on the wall for all to see.

So many great experiences and fantastic memories. I remember we were in one bar where the girls actually served you in bikinis. As soon as you came to the end of your beer they came to your table and replenished your empty drink. That is something that would never happen in the UK. We also went out on jet skis we just felt like we had no restrictions at all. In fact at one point we went out so far we got completely lost for a while.

It was the first time I had been in a seafood restaurant with girls. It was amazing. We ordered lobster and we were told to choose from live ones from a tank. I had never seen this before. When the lobster was cooked and brought to the table the girls were in their element. They picked up the lobster and just cracked all the shells very professionally and of course they looked after us and opened the lobster for me and the two Pauls as well.

The Chilli Disaster

A huge mistake I made at one restaurant was that the two Pauls challenged me to an eating contest. There were several bowls of chilies on our table the chilies were of different sizes some quite large and some very small. The challenge included eating at least one bowl of chilies with the food of course. I had no experience of eating chilies and didn’t know the difference between the sizes and the heat levels. So thinking I was clever I opted for the tiny chilies thinking I would be able to eat them quicker than the larger ones. What a huge mistake that was. It was okay while I was actually eating them however after a few minutes my lips felt like they were inflated like tires. I was sweating and I thought my head was going to explode.

Other guests in the restaurant had been watching me and had smiles on their faces. Honestly it was awful. I just kept drinking water but it didn’t seem to help. Eventually the staff brought me a thicker drink some kind of milk which helped a lot. I can never thank them enough for that. Of course I left them a generous tip.

I found Thai people to be so kind that would never happen in the UK. They could see I was in distress and needed help and they offered me the drink. In the UK I would have been left until I begged for a drink then I would have been overcharged for that same drink.

The Connect Four Obsession

I have so many great memories and experiences from that one trip that there are far too many to put in this story. However here’s another great story. I have always been a very competitive person. One night I met a beautiful girl called A in a bar. We started playing Connect Four. Anybody who knows Thailand will know it’s one of the most popular bar games that every bar has and all of the girls are grandmasters of the game as they play all day with customers. Tourists have little to no chance of ever beating a Thai bar girl at Connect Four.

Even if you get to the point where it looks like you’re going to win panic suddenly takes over the bar and all the other girls behind the bar move into battle formation behind your opponent to advise her on her next move thus giving the customer absolutely no chance of ever winning.

Being very competitive I started to get let’s just say more than a little bit annoyed that I was losing every single game. So I thought ‘Right I’m going to take this seriously.’ I started drinking orange juice and as sad as this sounds I actually played Connect Four from 8 PM until 4 AM the next morning when I began to beat every girl at every game of Connect Four. It’s kind of strange how addictive these games can be.

I told A that I would meet her the following night as I wanted to go out with my friends. We went bar hopping starting in Soi Six then along the Beach Road ending up at Walking Street. I played Connect Four in almost every bar we went into. If I won I demanded a kiss. I would normally buy the girl a drink if I lost but I wasn’t losing too many games thankfully. I got so quick at making my moves that even the Thai bar girls were amazed at how well I played. I know I sound like I’m blowing my own trumpet but I really did improve that much.

I spent my last week with A. She was really good company. She never asked me for any money whatsoever she only said I had to pay her bar fine daily or she couldn’t leave the bar. When I left Pattaya she came with me to the taxi to the airport. I tried to give her what money I had left which was quite considerable but surprisingly she wouldn’t take it. When we got to the airport I was surprised to see many members of A’s family waiting for us. They spoke to me in broken English but it seemed they were quite happy that I was with A. I think they just wanted to size me up. A started crying when it was time for me to leave which nearly set me off but luckily I managed to get on the aircraft without that incident.

The Return And the Violence

When I got back to the UK I spoke with my boss and he told me I still had another 10 days’ vacation left. So I booked another trip to Thailand the following month as I had been in constant contact with A. When I returned to Thailand A was waiting for me at the airport. She told me that I could stay with her in her room in Pattaya so that I only had the expense of the flight and not hotels. I had no idea what to expect. I was in total shock when I saw where she lived one room with no furniture everything in plastic bags on the floor no air conditioning just a fan and a flat floored toilet. We slept on a thin mattress on a bumpy floor. I had a terrible night. When I woke up I was covered in mosquito bites.

I put up with it because let’s face it by now I was totally in love with A.

When we spoke it was about getting a visa for A to come to the UK. We went out to dinner with a friend of A’s and they mostly spoke Thai to each other. But when they did speak to me it was about A’s visa for the UK. I was so terribly naive at the time that I found myself in some office filling out all the paperwork for A’s visa as well as leaving a deposit for the visa. I asked about her passport. She told me she already had one apparently the Thais use them as their main form of ID even though Thailand has an ID card system in place. I thought I was quite experienced but I was very wrong.

A told me that she hadn’t been abroad before. I started to get suspicious when I showed her my passport and we had a good laugh at my old photograph but what made me suspicious is that A gave every excuse under the sun as to why she couldn’t show me her passport. What was going on? Anyway I shrugged it off at first but got more and more suspicious. So when she was in the shower I looked at her passport. It said she had been to Paris for six months two years earlier. I confronted her when she got out of the shower. She said her friend had used her passport as she had lost hers. At that point my eyes started to open and I was not happy with her answers. A tried to brush it off as if it was a mere minor discovery.

However I was quite angry and told her I was going to spend the night somewhere else as I needed to have a long think about things.

The next day I immediately canceled the visa application. I had one day to go before I was due to leave. I checked into a hotel for my last day in Pattaya.

Reflection

So back in the UK I’ve got time to reflect on my trip and my time with A. So what is my conclusion? Well I tried to develop a relationship with a bar girl. There are more than enough stories out there to know that this is very unlikely to work. I won’t make the same mistake twice. But I have fallen in love with Thailand and intend to return soon. The Thai people are wonderful and A is not a true representation of the Thai people. I myself have become a Buddhist as I admired the religion when I was in the Kingdom.