Marrying A Girl From Pattaya, Would You?
It was after a three-year relationship breakup in the UK with a British woman that I was encouraged by some friends to go on holiday to Thailand as a way of forgetting my bitter breakup and experience the delights of the city of Pattaya.
Arriving In Pattaya For The First Time
Upon arriving in Pattaya in the winter of 2017 with a couple of my friends for a four-week holiday, they showed me how things worked in Pattaya, especially everything about the nightlife.
Being my first time in Thailand, I was warned by my friends not to fall in love with a bar girl, especially in Pattaya.
Exploring The Night Life
On my first night, I was taken to the bright lights of Walking Street Pattaya and ended up in a notorious freelancer bar where the women outnumbered the men by at least three to one.
I was let loose in what I can only describe as a shop full of sweets, not deciding which one to pick first.
Having never experienced women staring at me and giving me the come-on so readily was a strange experience.
However, one of my friends came to my rescue and suggested why not look around and just pick the prettiest one in the bar.
Taking his suggestion, and after scanning around, I decided to approach what I can only describe as the most beautiful, slim, dark-skinned girl, a typical Asian-looking woman with long dark hair that covered her face, with the most gorgeous smile and a full set of perfect teeth with a diamond in a tooth that shone brightly as she smiled.
Taking A Thai Girl Back To The Hotel Room
After a few drinks and dancing, she came with me back to my hotel room for some more drinks.
Her English wasn’t great, but okay, we used Google Translate for the difficult words.
We got on really well.
After a few more drinks and some nighttime swimming in the pool, we were both exhausted.
My beautiful new friend stayed with me overnight, but it was only to sleep and nothing else.
As said, we were both very tired.
Waking in the morning to find this beautiful woman lying next to me was like I had gone to heaven and woke up with my angel next to me.
I know that sounds corny, but I was older than her, so felt lucky.
Anyway, I compensated her for her time, we said our goodbyes, and she left with a smile on her face.
Trying To Keep Up With The Night Life
For the following week or so, we were out every night, drinking and partying.
Being older, I had to admit to myself that I could not keep up this pace and would have to slow it down a bit.
So, I thought the second week I would try to meet a woman that I could stay with longer and maybe do a few tourist trips with, as I still had three weeks left of my holiday.
One of my new Thai friends introduced me to a nice-looking woman, a pretty girl who would take me out each day on the back of a motorcycle, and we enjoyed the local sites such as temples, beaches, and we ate lots of nice meals together.
I felt a little uncomfortable when out and about with this girl as I was quite a bit older than her.
When I guess it’s normal for Pattaya, but it was a strange feeling for me.
Reunion: A Week in Pattaya
At the start of my Pattaya week, I decided to meet up with my friends and revisit the freelancer bar on Walking Street that I had visited on my first night.
As soon as we arrived, I noticed the drop-dead gorgeous lady that I had met and took back to my hotel on the first night in Pattaya.
After an hour or so, I noticed she had not coupled up with anyone and watched as she seemed to ignore the attentions of other men who approached her.
I approached her and apologized for the last time we had met for getting so drunk.
She laughed and said it was okay.
We then started to chat, and again, we got on just great.
Dancing and drinking, we ended up back at my hotel room for some more drinks.
Once again, I got on so much better with this girl than the girl who had been picking me up on her scooter each day.
So, I decided to come clean and tell her that I was not going to meet her again, as I much preferred the company of this girl.
I asked this gorgeous girl if she would like to remain with me for the rest of my holiday, and of course, I would compensate her for her time.
Relationships and Money In Pattaya
I soon realized that this girl was after as much as she could get out of me, and when I asked her if she even liked me, she said no, I only like your money.
I asked her to leave.
She kept turning up at my hotel and knocking on my door. Did she think that I was some kind of an idiot?
Well, I’m not.
In my short time in Pattaya, I had learned from my friends how the bar girls generally take you for what they can get.
One friend told me how he was with his girlfriend for over two years and was planning to get married after giving her twenty thousand pounds to set up home, and she had disappeared.
Another friend told me how his girlfriend managed to get five thousand pounds out of him before she also disappeared.
I thought I was not going to get caught out like this.
Famous last words, right?
My Time with Jit in Thailand
Nevertheless, my Thai girlfriend named Jit soon stopped asking me for extra money when I told her I did not have too much money left.
Jit still stayed with me for the duration of my holiday, which lasted for four weeks.
During the two weeks with her, I must admit it was the best time of my life, partying and dancing, eating out and visiting local tourist sites.
This lady made me feel young again, and I was a typical tourist two-week millionaire in her eyes.
Staying Connected with Jit from Afar
At the end of the four-week holiday, I got to know Pattaya reasonably well, and I thought we became close.
I said I would keep in touch when I got home and perhaps help her out, even though I knew she was a working girl, if you get my meaning.
Arriving back home in the UK, I kept in touch with Jit via messenger, and we talked on live stream almost every day.
She said she missed me and Pattaya and when I would see her again.
A Return to Pattaya for Love
Considering it was now winter 2018 in the UK, and it was freezing, I made the decision to go back to Pattaya at the end of the month and meet up with Jit once again, but only if she considered going back home to her village to wait for me.
Jit’s home was in Khon Kaen in the north of Thailand, which is in a province called Isan.
As long as I paid for her journey and gave her a little money to live on, she agreed to wait for me.
Being skeptical, I really thought she wouldn’t accept my offer.
Talking to Jit almost every day while she was at home in her village took away any doubts and worries that she was working back in Pattaya.
A Reunion at Bangkok Airport
After arranging my visit visa for a three-month stay, I booked my return ticket at the end of the month and asked Jit to meet me at the airport.
Arriving at Bangkok airport mid-February 2017, I had arranged for her to meet me at my gate.
I had waited for three hours at our agreed meeting point at the airport, and I thought I’d been stood up, only for Jit to arrive holding a huge bunch of flowers and the biggest smile I’d ever seen.
She told me that she had been waiting at the wrong place, perhaps because of our language barrier.
So, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and hoped that she had not simply come straight from Pattaya in a taxi.
A Retiree’s Journey For Love in Pattaya
The following three months went so quickly, and we enjoyed each other’s company.
I had no intentions of falling in love.
I just wanted a holiday girlfriend as I had reached my retirement age of 65.
I have been married twice, and after fathering a couple of children, I felt that I had done my bit for humanity.
During this holiday, we had a fantastic time in Pattaya.
We also traveled north and visited Jit’s parents in her village, meeting her family and her friends.
It became very clear to me why some girls would want to head to the bright lights of Pattaya to earn a decent living.
Her family in the village had very little.
I truly felt sorry for them.
Their only income comes from long hours of toil, working in the paddy fields.
Working in the bars was perhaps their only salvation and a glimmer of a better life, hoping they would meet their white knight in shining armor.
Defying Skepticism for a Thai Beauty
I suppose in a way, I feel sorry for the countless thousands of women who have to work in Pattaya and in the bar business just to feed their families and a lot of the time, a young child or several children that were abandoned by the father back at the village.
Perhaps it was because of this, so I decided to rescue this beautiful lady from a life of freelance and Pattaya.
I was met by many skeptical friends who all said Jit would take me for my money, and I was just one of many others who sent her money.
As soon as I was back in the UK, and the list goes on from all my so-called friends.
All I knew is that I was very lucky to find such a caring Thai woman who was so beautiful that men turned their heads as she walked by.
For those who are lucky enough to find a Thai girl, they will soon discover that they look after their men far better than any Western woman would want to.
Love Across Borders
Arriving back home to the UK, we kept in touch on a daily basis.
I would speak to Jit using a live stream podcast.
That way, I knew she did not go back to her old life.
It was difficult for a while, but I persuaded Jit to come to the UK on a tourist visa just to see.
Perhaps one day, she may like to come and live with me.
After a few complications trying to sort things out, which I couldn’t, in the end, I used a company based in Thailand to help sort out the visa.
It cost me about 500 pounds but was worth every penny.
The main problem I faced when Jit arrived in the UK was customs at the airport, as an overzealous customs officer would not believe her reason for visiting the UK and thought the worst.
I’m guessing mainly because of her lack of English.
After a three-hour delay, they finally let her into the country after she persuaded the customs officer to phone me via her internet messenger to prove she was visiting a real person.
Perhaps it was my fault as I had arranged a four-month holiday for her, but her visa stated three months.
But in the end, we were finally together once again.
Exploring Life Together Across Cultures
The next four months were again perhaps the best time of my life.
I showed Jit the lifestyle of the Western world, to the envy of my jealous friends.
The funniest moment being one day after a snowfall, we were walking in the park, and she found it amusing that she could throw snowballs at strangers as they walked past, and they wouldn’t say a word.
They just smiled.
Jit said she saw this in the movies.
I had to explain we don’t normally do things like this in real life.
We had some great fun together.
It was during her stay that my gorgeous Thai girlfriend became pregnant, telling me that it was the best thing to ever happen in her life and how she wanted a daughter so badly, that one day her daughter would look after her in her old age, just as she had done for her parents for so many years.
I suppose it’s a tradition that we in the Western world can’t appreciate.
Farewell and Promise
It was heartbreaking.
Now, my beautiful Thai girlfriend was going back to her own country, even though I tried to persuade her to stay in the UK, explaining that our child would have a better life here, away from the poverty of her village.
But she felt a duty to her parents to go back and have our child in her own country.
During the next eight months, we kept in touch as usual, and I watched her blossom with her pregnancy.
Her parents were there to help during this time apart.
I needed to go back into employment so that I could save enough money to go back for the birth of our child.
Being on a pension was hard enough anyway.
A Voyage of Love and Commitment
Soon, the eight months were over.
I was on the first plane back to Thailand to be present at the birth.
It was now fast approaching the end of 2019.
After a long night of labor in November, our daughter was born, and I must say that having experienced hospitals in the UK and in Thailand, I know which one gives a better service.
I’m sorry to say this, but we could have learned a lot from the Thais.
Shortly after the birth, we decided to get married so our daughter had my name and possible British citizenship.
Traveling to Bangkok to the British Embassy on my own from the north was an experience, and that was just to apply for the marriage certificate.
Upon my return, we got married in the local temple in Khon Kaen.
It was quite an affair, with just myself, Jit, and our baby present.
It was almost a clinical and formal affair, just a couple of forms to sign and produce an ID.
That was it.
We were married.
We planned to have a village party someday in the future to celebrate, where I would offer a dowry to my new mother and father-in-laws.
A Father’s Longing Amidst a Pandemic
It was now January 2020, and sadly, my three-month visa was about to expire, and I had to return to the UK.
Having only experienced the joy of our baby daughter for less than a month due to the 90-day visa and the 31 days in a month, I was over my period of stay and was fined at the airport upon my exit.
I was planning to go back later in the year to see Jit and our daughter, but the dreaded pandemic struck, and due to travel restrictions, I was trapped in the UK.
Watching our baby grow from afar is devastating.
We talk every day, and I can see the bond between mother and daughter grow.
My biggest regret is not being there with them both.
It is now June 2021, and I hope to return when restrictions have ended.
Hopefully, by the end of the year, I will be with them once again.
Our daughter will be two years old by the time I get back to Thailand.
My biggest regret is not being in Thailand as my daughter is growing up.
This worldwide pandemic has a lot to answer for, but one thing is certain: I will make it up to them when I can eventually return.
Beyond Stereotypes
The reason why I share my story is to show you that not all bar girls or freelancers are out to get what they can, and that there are some genuine women who would dearly love to meet their knight in shining armor, and given the time and patience, love can conquer all barriers.
In the meantime, there is a wedding party to organize.
