4 Men Came to Thailand to Meet Girls
Story 1 Papaya Salad and an Unexpected Request in Isan
It was 1988 in Chiaom, Isan. I had just recovered from hepatitis A and had taken to visiting the night market every evening for something to eat.
There was a som tam vendor who was friendly with a circle of local women who used to drop by Joshua’s guest house in the evenings to chat with foreigners and practice their English. Old-timers and visitors to the area may remember him, as it was the only guest house for miles around.
She ended up making me a custom papaya salad after a false start the first time I’d asked for not spicy and still ended up with my mouth on fire. We eventually worked out that even though she hadn’t added a single chili to the mortar, what remained on its sides from the previous order was already more than I could handle.
I, on the other hand, love Thai food but can’t stand chili. From then on, I asked her to rinse the mortar with hot water before making mine. She did, and every evening became a small ritual. We’d laugh about it, and I could finally eat mine without regretting it afterwards. I’d try out my broken Thai on her, and she’d try out her English on me.
A Mixed Heritage Child and Attitudes in Rural Isan
One night she closed up early and told me quite matter-of-factly to come along with her. There was a group of five women, some married to Thai husbands, who often drifted in and out around us backpackers, so I thought nothing of it. I was 30 at the time and figured nothing could really surprise me anymore.
When we got to her place, she led me into her bedroom and surprised me by asking if I would father a child with her. It was an awkward moment, and I declined. She asked why, explaining that she wouldn’t expect anything from me afterwards. She wouldn’t ask me to help raise a child or provide financial support.
What she wanted, plainly, was a mixed-race child, a son or daughter of mixed heritage with fairer skin and foreign features, which she believed might offer the child greater opportunities than those available to her in rural Isan. I declined again and showed myself out.
It was apparently a considerable loss of face for her. One of the other women let me know not long afterwards that I was no longer welcome at the som tam stand. No more salad for me.
What still strikes me looking back is the contradiction sitting underneath it all. Some Thais I encountered during that era, more so than now, could hold strong prejudice towards other ethnic groups, and I heard plenty of derogatory comments aimed at T. Yet here was a woman actively pursuing exactly that.
Perhaps it wasn’t such a contradiction once you look more closely. Much of the criticism seemed directed towards the woman believed to be pursuing foreigners for financial reasons rather than towards mixed-heritage children themselves, while long-standing attitudes towards lighter skin could lead some people to view mixed heritage positively. In Isan specifically, a poorer rural region that has sometimes faced negative stereotypes from elsewhere in Thailand, she may also have seen a mixed-heritage child as offering opportunities she felt were otherwise difficult to obtain.
Story 2 Finding Love in Thailand After Relationships in Australia
My story starts at about 16 years old. I made the conscious decision to try everything once, and if I didn’t like it, at least I could say I had tried it. It was only later in life that I realized it also depends on your partner, your life experience, and what’s going on with your mood.
At the time, I had several long-term female partners in Australia. All were very adventurous. And I’ll leave it to your imagination to picture what we got up to as a couple. Most were high-flyers with good corporate jobs, usually either head of their state division or the company. All were intelligent and driven women.
However, with the laws the way they are in Western countries and the way things were changing from about 2003, I started looking at working overseas. Initially, I was in Central Java for 3 years and then the UAE for several more. The women in Indonesia are particularly striking, with generations of Indonesian, Chinese, Dutch, and other cultures mixed together. Some areas of Indonesia are well known for their beautiful women.
The UAE, on the other hand, was at the time, pre-201, an interesting mix of international women from all over the world seeking their fortune or looking for relationships. I had never been married and certainly wasn’t planning to move to Russia or some other cold place over those years.
I’d always wanted to visit Thailand, and eventually, in 2015, I did. All those years of traveling for business had taught me the ways of the world, and I was amazed by the culture, the people, and the food. I kept coming back for a few years and struck up a good friendship with a ladyboy from Phuket. We had a sort of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship when I was on holiday. We traveled by motorbike to a lot of places and enjoyed our time together in what was a comfortable arrangement.
The relationship survived my mistakes in Australia. And after a very nasty and bitter domestic dispute involving accusations that I strongly disagreed with, I had had enough of relationships back home. Enough was enough. If I was ever going to have a relationship again, I swore I would have some hard boundaries. Peace and respect above all were my requirements. If these were not going to be adhered to, I was out at a very brisk pace.
Dating App Profiles and an Independent Partner in Thailand
Luckily, I am self-employed, and I usually get up to Thailand two or three times a year for two or four weeks. I rented motorbikes and did the Mae Hong Son loop, visited Chiang Mai and Koh Chang, but mainly based myself out of Jiann. I loved the relaxed life there without some of the issues I associated with a busier tourist area such as Pattaya or Phuket.
At 60, I was very happy, single, and had no intention of starting all over again. I worked out very quickly that I did not want a relationship with someone working in the bar scene. For me, that type of fun felt transactional, and I found it quite boring. Having already experienced plenty of life’s wider pleasures, I was frankly bored with it all.
Prior to any trip, I was usually on dating sites and, within days, had hundreds of hits. However, I in particular am fussy, or perhaps experienced is a better word. I was not looking for fun or a holiday relationship. I wanted an intellectual equal who was independent and could stand on her own two feet. Otherwise, I would much rather be alone.
From my experience with dating apps, I developed a list of things that made me move on from a profile. I was after an intelligent, independent woman who was looking for love and had a positive outlook on life.
My personal warning signs included lots of photographs in clubs or bars or holding drinks, very revealing outfits or lots of bikini shots, photographs from numerous international destinations that made me wonder about the lifestyle behind them, bedroom photographs, and profiles containing lots of group shots or pictures that looked too polished to be genuine. None of these things necessarily meant anything by themselves, but they helped me decide which profiles interested me.
The things I looked for were good clothing, style, professional or corporate photographs, a genuine smile, pictures taken over a period of time where hair, weight, and seasons changed, and photographs taken by other people rather than endless selfies, such as pictures from family functions.
A First Brunch Date in Bangkok Chinatown
About three months prior to the trip, I got online and received over a hundred likes almost overnight. I discounted most of these for the reasons above or because I suspected some were generated by the dating platform simply to encourage people to spend money. I settled on three profiles I wanted to chat with. One stood out. The other two petered out due to lack of interest or communication problems.
I like it when a woman is spontaneous and positive. When I’m asking questions to get to know the other person, I appreciate honest answers rather than one-word replies. You can spot forced interactions pretty quickly. We organized a time to chat online and had a brief, pleasant conversation. She was obviously intelligent, self-employed, and had an extended family. I told her I would contact her when I arrived in Bangkok.
A month later, after getting into Bangkok and getting settled, I called with no notice and told her I was now in the city. This was quite a shock to her, as she had thought I had not been genuine because I’d gone quiet. I told her I was busy with work and didn’t like hours of online chatting. She accepted this, and I proposed we go out to brunch together. She was expecting a coffee or something similar, so she absolutely loved the idea of brunch.
Much later in the relationship, she told me her rules. She usually had a staff member come with her, primarily as an escape plan if the man she was meeting turned out not to be genuine. Additionally, if she was not interested, she would always pay the bill. This way, she felt there was no obligation on her part. Obviously, a woman of character in my mind.
We settled on a place that I knew for a wonderful brunch. However, I had not realized she was on the other side of the city, so I suggested she choose a place, which she then did in Chinatown. I like to offer people the choice because it tells me a lot about the person. I caught a taxi and arrived after she had already got there.
I was pleasantly surprised by a strikingly beautiful woman who I thought was in her mid to late 30s, with impeccable style and lovely table manners, another one of my little tests, as I felt it showed something about how a person had been brought up. On her part, she was shocked to see a 62-year-old, fit, Viking-type man walk through the door of the brunch eatery. She had a particularly good sense of humor, and we bounced off each other at every meeting from then on.
Trust Respect and Marriage in Bangkok
We decided we hit it off pretty well. I was impressed with her obvious passion for food and her good English. We agreed to see each other again after my planned 7-day motorcycle trip to Chiang Mai. Upon returning, we met again and had a number of enjoyable, more formal dates where we got to know each other’s lives. I did not rush any intimacy. In fact, she was worried that I did not fancy her. I wanted things to happen naturally, and I respected her conservative approach.
She was at first very questioning of my history and past. I answered honestly, and I think I shocked her with some of the stories from my younger days. As I explained, it was in the past, and she had a choice to look forward or back. I don’t put up with jealousy or disrespectful behavior, and she says she keeps me in line by always being right and never wrong. As she says, she is the right woman for me.
Before I even thought about getting seriously involved or entering a relationship, I looked at her friends and family in detail. I saw that they were all very protective of her and held her in great esteem. Her business acumen and loyalty were noticeable, so I took my time getting to know her best friends. I have had trouble in previous relationships where friends have added unnecessary negativity to the mix, so I do pay attention.
The chemistry we both have is something neither of us has experienced before. The connection is real and deep. Within a year, we were married and are now planning our life together in Bangkok. Now, I’m 64, and she is 50. Every day just gets better and better. I am learning Thai, and her family are learning about Aussie barbecue and Bundaberg rum. Trust, loyalty, respect, honesty, and communication are our negotiated rules that form the bedrock of our future. We are looking forward to waking up together for the rest of our lives.
It’s just a shame that it took so long to find each other, but we got there in the end. Good ones are out there: people with great family values who are hardworking and loyal and who want a partner who can negotiate life’s dramas safely and keep them loved. On my part, I learned from my previous relationship failures and spend the time making sure her needs are met, riding the emotional waves by being constant and protective. Her family have all accepted me and take great care to include me in their family.
For me, leaving Australia made sense because of the cost of living and taxation. The cocoon of my Thai family also helps prevent me from being wrong-footed by Thai culture. To me, it comes down to basic respect, manners, and consideration. Most importantly, we support each other inside that little bubble of our marriage where life’s ups and downs are woven together.
Story 3 Finding Happiness in Thailand After Losing My Wife
I’m almost 70. I’m a British pensioner, although I will never say an old pensioner. I lost my wife to cancer when I was 66. It was my second marriage. My first marriage ended in divorce after 20 years, and I had a few relationships before meeting my second wife.
Everything was great. We were happily married for 15 years and had a wonderful time together. Then cancer took her. I was devastated and completely lost without her. She had told me to live the rest of my life and try and find happiness again, which at the time I really didn’t want to.
I tried a couple of holidays in Spain, but being alone and watching older couples walking hand in hand, enjoying the later years of their lives together, only made me feel more angry and bitter. Then a friend recommended Thailand.
I had previously visited Thailand with my late wife. We’d spent a few days in Bangkok and then the remainder of the holiday in Phuket, and we’d really enjoyed it. I have to be honest, though: seeing foreign men with Thai ladies through the eyes of a married man, I made the assumption, and I know you should never assume, that it was all a little bit sordid. But after visiting as a single man, I now have a very different outlook on Thailand.
I took my friend’s advice and booked a holiday to Thailand. I didn’t think for one minute that it would change my life. I arrived in Bangkok just before Christmas, aged 67, not looking for anything other than avoiding another Christmas at home alone. I took a taxi to Pattaya, and to be honest, the closer I got to my hotel and the more I saw the lights and bars and nightlife, the more I felt both excited and terrified at the same time. It was a crazy feeling.
After a shower and a change of clothes, I started wandering through the bar streets at midnight, wide-eyed in amazement. I’m not a naive person, believe me. But what I was witnessing surprised me and initially made me a little nervous. Gradually, though, I started enjoying the night. On my first full day and evening, I was much more relaxed. I was out earlier and began getting used to the atmosphere.
Meeting Ni in a Pattaya Bar
I enjoyed many nights out, met some lovely ladies, and enjoyed having company again, as well as some wonderful massages. But after five or six nights, I needed some relaxation and just wanted to watch the world go by. I had just had a wonderful massage and was ready to have a beer or two and relax.
That night, I walked into a bar, and the usual thing happened. Girls came up to me saying, “Handsome man,” and trying to get my attention. I just wanted a quiet beer, some football, and a chance to chill out.
Later in the evening, I noticed one particular lady. She looked very sad and didn’t seem as outgoing as some of the other girls. I plucked up the courage, waved to her, and called her over. I asked if she was okay. She smiled and said, “Yeah, I’m okay.” I asked if she wanted a drink. She said yes, and we spent the rest of the evening together. She seemed happy in my company and eventually gave me a lovely smile.
Quite late that night, feeling tired and a little tipsy, I told her I was leaving. I said I would come back to the bar the following night, and we could chat again. She shook her head and said, “All the fangs lie. You won’t be back.”
Well, the next night came, and when I walked into the bar, I was greeted by a very happy lady with a beaming smile who genuinely seemed pleased to see me. We later left together, and yes, I paid for her company. In fact, I did so for the next three nights, although we mostly just talked and laughed with plenty of help from Google Translate.
Ni’s Kindness and Support Between Thailand Visits
Then I remembered the three-date rule that I’d heard so much about. I told this lady, whose name was Ni and who was 45, that I had very little money left and thought it would be best if I stopped going to the bar because it was becoming expensive.
Looking back now, I think perhaps I wanted to end things before either of us became too involved. I was enjoying her company so much, and it felt great to be sharing meals and spending time with somebody again. But I’d read and seen much on social media about testing whether someone’s interest was genuine.
We laugh about it now. Ni says I was testing her, and perhaps I was without even realizing it. She told me to just pay the bar charge and not give her anything. That night, on the way back to my hotel, she bought me food from a street cart and some beers from 7-Eleven because she genuinely thought I was broke.
Ni told me she had only worked in the bar for 3 weeks. I know we’ve all heard that one before. She said she hated it and wanted to return home to Isan, but she had committed to renting her room for 3 months and would lose her deposit if she left early. I later discovered that she had been telling me the truth and really had only worked at the bar for 3 weeks.
Soon it was time for me to return to the UK, and yes, we spoke every day. Every night, while we talked on the phone, I virtually walked her home from the bar at her insistence because she wanted to reassure me that I was the person she was interested in.
6 weeks later, I returned in March. By then, she had stopped working at the bar. We talked about it, and she was clearly unhappy there. She had been earning 4,000 baht a month from the bar, so I said I would cover that amount to help her with her room and expenses and decided to send her 5,000 baht a month. Her 3-month rental agreement ended on March 9th, so she spent the rest of March with me. Then I returned to the UK, and she returned home to Isan by bus.
Returning to Thailand and Meeting Ni’s Family in Isan
You guessed it, I returned in May for another 2 months. I went to Isan, met her family, and everything was very good. Ni owned her own house and some land where she grew rice. I asked her, “Why on earth did you go to Patty to work in a bar if you have a home and land?” It turned out that her friend worked in Pattaya and had kept telling her it was easy money and better than working on the farm.
When Ni was younger, she worked in a factory for more than 20 years and sometimes 7 days a week, doing 12-hour shifts for very little money. Even so, she’d managed to save enough over the years to buy land and have a house built. I visited Thailand five times that year. She still doesn’t understand my sense of humor. She just smiles. Maybe it’s a Thai thing. Maybe I’m simply not funny. Or perhaps it gets lost in the translation. I’ll stick with that last explanation.
Living in Isan With Ni and Comparing UK Expenses
Now, 2 years later, I live in Isan with Ni. I go back to the UK once or twice a year to visit family, and I still have a property there. Every couple of months, we also visit some of Thailand‘s beaches and islands because I need to get out of Isan occasionally. I don’t really understand much Thai, just some of the basics. But I get by, and the locals are patient with me. It’s nice to hear English spoken every so often, though.
All in all, I’m very happy. I still give 5,000 baht a month, which isn’t too bad for what I jokingly call my rent. I also pay for the Wi-Fi and electricity by choice. I need the Wi-Fi to watch UK television and keep up with everything. And I had an air conditioner fitted for my own comfort.
In total, it doesn’t come to 8,000 baht a month, which is considerably cheaper than my bills in the UK. In fact, it costs me more in the UK when I’m not there than it does in Thailand when I am, if that makes any sense.
I’m far happier than I ever thought I would be after losing my wife. Ni has even visited the UK with me to meet my family and friends, and both of our families are happy for us. At my age, my choices seem to be sitting at home by the fire looking out at the dreadful British weather or walking along Thailand‘s beaches with a beautiful lady. I know which one I prefer. In fact, it wasn’t much of a choice at all.
There are no twists and no sick buffalo stories. Maybe it simply proves that not every Thai woman who has worked in a bar is the same, and perhaps not every farang is the same either. If there is a moral to this story, it’s that it’s never too late to start again. For me, taking a chance on Thailand opened a new chapter in my life, and I’m very glad it did.
Story 4 A First Songkran Trip to Pattaya in 2025
My best friend had been to Thailand twice, and it seemed like half of his conversations or replies to stories began with, “When I was in Thailand.” It got to the point where it was almost annoying. He told me one story about him and his wife wanting to visit a temple in Bangkok, meeting a tuk-tuk driver, and somehow ending up on an all-day adventure. He finished the story by saying, “That just happens in Thailand.”
My buddy kept telling me that I or we needed to go. After about a year or so of hearing this, we finally decided to visit for Songkran in 2025. I scraped together the money, booked my trip, and got the time off work to find out just how true all of my buddy’s Thailand stories really were.
On the trip were my friend, his wife, and a mutual female friend of ours. We arrived in Pattaya after a long 24-hour journey, and I checked into our rooms. My buddy and I shared a room because originally it was supposed to have been a guys’ trip. We freshened up and headed out. He took me to Tree Town, which becomes important later, and explained how the baht buses worked. We visited a few bars and genuinely enjoyed our first day.
He had previously told me about ThaiFriendly. I’d already downloaded it and had been talking to a couple of nice ladies before we even landed. Nothing ever came of those conversations.
Meeting Tina Through ThaiFriendly in Pattaya
But while sitting in our room on day two, I came across a beautiful, curvy lady with a huge amount of curly hair. She had a darker complexion, and from her photographs, I hadn’t even realized she was Thai. We matched and immediately arranged to meet later that day. I showed my buddy her profile and got the nod of approval.
She arrived later that evening. She looked a little different from her photographs but was still attractive. I invited her in, and she introduced herself as Tina. We started chatting, and she wouldn’t take her eyes off me. She kept smiling so much that eventually I had to ask if she was okay. She kept telling me, “You are my type,” while making apprehensive noises that had me laughing.
We enjoyed some private time together, and afterwards we sat and talked some more. Before she left, I asked what I should give her. She told me whatever you want because she’d enjoyed spending time with me and I was her type. I gave her a couple of thousand baht, and we said our goodbyes.
Tree Town Drinks and a Grab Ride With Tina
The next day, my buddy and I did some shopping, walked around getting soaked during Songkran, and generally enjoyed the sights. That evening, we were hanging out at Tree Town. My buddy was enjoying some of the locally available broccoli while I was having more than a few drinks.
The four of us were sitting there, me, my buddy, his wife, and our friend, when I suddenly spotted a familiar face. It was Tina from the previous day, and she was with another guy. I thought nothing of it. We’d only met 24 hours earlier. But then she spotted me. She came running over and gave me a hug. The guy she was with just stood there. We exchanged pleasantries, and she went on her way.
About 20 minutes later, she came back, this time by herself. I introduced her to my friends, and she joined us. By then, I was really feeling the drinks. I’d even ordered a small pitcher after seeing a group of four people sharing one and somehow managed to finish the whole thing by myself. I also joined my buddy for a little of his preferred relaxation method.
Tina asked if the rest of us enjoyed broccoli. My buddy, his wife, and our friend all said yes. She told us she knew a cool shop that specialized in it. By this point, I was feeling very relaxed indeed, so we all agreed to check the place out.
Tina ordered us a Grab, and off we went. To me, in my far-from-sober state, the journey felt as though it took about 20 minutes. I later discovered the place was only about a 10-minute walk from our hotel.
We pulled up outside a shop that, from what I remember, was in a residential area with a bar across the road. I think the shop was attached to a restaurant. It had a strange spinning door, which immediately felt like a red flag to me. The shop was empty apart from two employees. The restaurant next door was empty, and there didn’t seem to be anybody outside. The whole place suddenly felt a little sketchy.
Paranoia After Drinks and Broccoli in Pattaya
My friends all found something they thought they’d enjoy and sat down on the couches. Tina and I played pool, and for the record, I destroyed her. As time went on, the combination of the drinks and the broccoli really started affecting me, and I had to sit down. Everyone else played Jenga while I sat watching music videos.
The longer I sat there, the more paranoid I became. Every random noise and every flash of headlights from a passing car put me more on edge. When another customer walked in, my imagination really started running away with me.
In my increasingly suspicious mind, it seemed far too much of a coincidence that I’d met a woman one day, randomly bumped into her again the following evening, and then allowed her to take all of us to some shop we’d never heard of in an area we didn’t know.
Tina came over to talk to me, but by then my paranoia was through the roof, and I was convinced something was about to happen. Eventually, everyone realized I wasn’t my normal self, and we decided to leave. Tina asked if I wanted her to come back to the hotel with me, but I declined because my nerves were already at breaking point.
We made it back to the hotel. My friends were still in party mode, but I’d had enough for one night. I went upstairs, had a shower, put Netflix on, and went to sleep.
The following morning, at breakfast, my buddy asked what had been wrong with me the night before. I gave him the complete rundown of everything that had been going on through my mind. He let out a huge laugh and then said, “This is what I’ve been trying to tell you. Things like that just happen in Thailand.” I did see Tina again, but that’s a story for another day.
