How Farangs Get Rinsed in Thailand
A lot of men that have gone to Thailand, met a girl, dated and even got in a relationship, end up flat out broke.
They all think, “Nah, that’ll never be me. I’m smart with my money.” That is until they find themselves in that exact position.
I want to go over why some people travel to Thailand, meet a special someone and then end up with nothing.
I’m not here to trash anyone or any culture, or make fun of people that have gone through this, I just want to point out the things I have noticed, the little decisions that seem harmless at the time but add to a complete mess up.
It’s about how a good heart and a thick wallet can get you into a world of pain you never saw coming.
Let’s get into it.
Sending Monthly Support to Her and Her Expanding Family
Alright, so number one on the list is sending monthly support to her and her whole family, and that list of people will eventually just keep getting longer. It starts simple enough. You meet someone, things are great, and she mentions her family is struggling a little. You want to help, it feels good, so you send a few thousand baht for her mum. It’s no big deal.
But then it becomes a regular thing, constantly asking for support. It’s not just for her mum anymore. Now it’s for her sister’s kid’s school, her uncle’s bike repair, her dad who needs a new phone. The requests never stop coming, and the amount just slowly creeps up. That money becomes part of the whole family’s budget, and your bank account is now the family ATM.
For some men, it becomes impossible to say no because they do really fall for the girl and don’t think they are being taken advantage of; they don’t want to look like a cheap Charlie and want to show they actually care for the girl. So while you are trying to keep up with your new Thai girl’s requests, a huge chunk of your savings or your monthly income is just gone, wired over to a village you’ve never even seen. You’re not just dating one person, you’re funding an entire family tree, and that tree has deep, expensive roots.
It drains you slowly, month after month. You’re trying to build a life for you and your new girlfriend, but you’re constantly sending money back, watching your own financial goals just disappear. Your wallet gets thinner, and the list of people depending on you just gets longer. If this is happening to you, I really consider you to step back and ask yourself is this really what you want, because at the end of the day… it’s not going to stop.
Building a House on Her Family’s Land
This is the one that ends with guys literally losing the roof over their head. After you have been together for a while, in some cases, not even that long, she starts talking about the idea to build a house, a little place for you and her which will more than likely be out in her village.
People seem to not know, forget or just completely ignore the fact that as a foreigner, you straight up cannot own the land in Thailand. The law is crystal clear on that. So the only way to do it is to put the land in her name, or her family‘s name. Granted, some people do get around it by opening businesses or some crap, I don’t really know, but I don’t think it’s ever 100% in the farang‘s name.
So you pour your thousands and thousands into this dream house for the future of you and your Thai girlfriend. You’re paying for the materials, the workers and everything else that is needed. Legally, you’re just a guest. You have zero ownership of the thing you have just spent thousands and thousands on.
Relationships are all good until they aren’t. Things go south, you have a big fight, and you’re the one who has to leave. You have to walk away from a house you paid for entirely with your own money. You can’t sell it, you can’t stay in it, you get nothing.
She and her family now own a brand new house, free and clear, courtesy of you, and if she already had a Thai boyfriend secretly on the side, well that’s just insult to injury. You’re left with a suitcase and a massive financial hole. There’s no legal recourse for you to get your money back. The law is on their side.
You’re left broke, homeless, and with a seriously valuable lesson about property laws in a country that isn’t your own.
Paying a Big Sin Sod Bride Price and Wedding Costs
This one is a classic trap, the sin sod. It’s this traditional bride price, supposed to show you can take care of their daughter. The sin sod itself is not a scam in Thai culture, however, how much the family is requesting could raise some red flags and it’s where a lot of these guys slip up and lose more than they should have.
The family will start talking numbers with you, and with some of the numbers they come out with you are just left speechless. We’re not talking about a little cash here. They’re talking about amounts that could be a down payment on a house back home. It’s serious money.
There are a lot of factors to coming up with the price of a sin sod such as the girl’s education, if she’s been married before and if she has children. But if she or the family are out to scam you, they are going to put a big price tag on it despite the background of the girl.
Some men will agree to a number they can’t really afford, convincing themselves it’s for love, and it’s just how things are done here. But then the wedding costs pile on top. The ceremony isn’t cheap, the monks need donations, the food for the entire village isn’t free, and the gold jewelry she wears is a massive extra cost. That initial sin sod number was just the beginning.
You end up starting your marriage or even just the relationship under a mountain of debt. That debt hangs over you, and every payment reminds you of the price you paid to simply be with someone.
If you have reached the stage of being ready to marry your girlfriend, you need to find out if her family is going to try and pull one over on you. If they are asking you for a stupid amount for the sin sod and your girlfriend is doing nothing to change that, then you need to have a little word with yourself.
Dating a Bargirl
Okay, this one is for all the farangs that come up with the great foolproof plan of dating a girl that you meet working in a bar. I know, it already sounds bad dating a bargirl but you’ll be surprised at how many guys think they are in a genuine relationship with one of them.
After you meet her and if she stays working at the bar, you are going to be going there every night to see her, buying lady drinks, drinks for yourself, barfines every night and more than likely you will have to give her extra money as well for the night, regardless of if you think you’re in a relationship with her. All that adds up fast, especially the lady drinks if you are doing this every night, not to mention your health drinking every night.
You start to feel the strain. You’re not a tourist with a two week budget; you live here or are planning to live here. What some guys fail to realize is that if you get in a relationship with a bargirl the money is never going to stop; you probably think you are in a relationship with her but she will more than likely still see you as a customer.
It’s been said a million times and it will be said a million times more, it’s not the best idea to get in a relationship with a bargirl. But, guys still do it and end up losing a lot more than they bargained for, so, be careful.
Buying a Car or Motorbike in Her Name
This one seems a good idea at the time, if you live in Thailand and have a girl that you travel with.
It’s a pain dealing with rentals when you are in Thailand long term, so you decide to just buy a car or a nice motorbike. But she will tell you that there will be a lot of red tape even if there isn’t and it would just be easier to put the registration in her name and she signs for the loan.
You’re the one making the down payment. You’re the one covering the monthly installments. But legally, that vehicle belongs to her. Your name is nowhere on the paperwork. You’re just the guy funding the whole operation.
Then when the relationship doesn’t work out, which let’s be honest, it probably won’t if she is scamming you, guess what, she takes the keys with her. The car or bike you’ve been paying for every month just drives away. And you’re still left paying for it.
All that money you put in is gone. The insurance, the taxes, the maintenance you paid for all of it. And now someone else is benefiting from your investment. It’s a clean, legal way for you to get completely rinsed, all because the paperwork said it was hers. You basically just bought her a major gift and financed it for her.
That’s the thing about the scams they use in Thailand, yes it’s bad, but for this scam for example it’s perfectly legal because they put their name on the payments themselves, nobody forced them to.
Covering Rent for Two Places
Let’s say things are going good with you and your new Thai girlfriend, next step is renting a nice condo in Bangkok or somewhere for you and her. You plan to stay in Thailand long term anyway, so you think it’s a good idea.
You’re paying the rent, the bills, and everything else that comes along with it. It’s cool at the start, you’re building a life together in the city. The problem with this is anything can happen which causes you to go back home, maybe family problems back home, work issues, visa problems.. staying in Thailand is never guaranteed.
Some guys even start renting a condo for him and his girlfriend when he knows that he has to leave at some point. They go home, thinking they will work a bit then come back in a couple of months on the visa exemption for another 2 months or something like that.
With how immigration is nowadays, they are cracking down on how many times you can go back to Thailand on a visa exemption per year. So if they have to leave Thailand, can’t get back to Thailand or even get refused entry, they are stuck paying for the new condo that his girlfriend is living in and wherever else he is living back home.
Even if you break up, your name is on the contract so legally it’s your requirement to pay. Now, I am not sure what happens if you go back to your country and think screw it I’m not going to pay for a contract if I’m not there, maybe the landlord can report you to immigration or something along those lines, but I don’t really know.
It’s not worth the risk anyway, only get a condo in Thailand if you are 100% certain you can stay for the whole duration of the condo contract.
Quitting a Job Back Home to Move to Thailand and Burning Through Savings
The amount of people that do this is scary crazy, I was almost one of them. The first time I went to Thailand, I met a girl and we stayed in touch when I left. We were planning a future together but we couldn’t be together because of the distance between us, and as it was hard to get her a visa here I started thinking about moving there.
I had a bit of savings, job paid ok but it wasn’t anything special so I was thinking to pack it up, sell everything and move to Thailand and just try to wing it so I could be with her. Looking back, I’m so glad I came to my senses before it was too late or I would have probably lost everything and gone through my savings, coming back to my country with absolutely nothing. It’s easy to daydream about though, especially when you have a girl waiting for you in Thailand. You’re fed up with the grind everything back home, the cold weather, the boring life and after you met her, Thailand looks like paradise.
So some guys just take the leap and make the move. They quit their job, cash out whatever they have, and land in Thailand thinking they are going to make it. For the first few months, it’s a dream. They are living off the savings they worked years to build. Every day is a holiday. The money feels like it’s never going to run out. You’re not even thinking about a job because just being here feels like success. But that savings account isn’t magic. It has a bottom. The cost of living adds up rent, food, travel, going out, and depending on the type of girl their Thai girlfriend is, they can be expensive to maintain as well.
They’re spending like a tourist, but they are trying to live a permanent life then the pressure builds. They need an income, but their visa doesn’t let them work, or the only jobs they can find pay a fraction of what they earned back home. They are too proud to go back home with their tail between their legs. So you start digging into the last of their funds, living on credit, hoping for a miracle that doesn’t come. They burned a career and savings for a dream with a Thai girl that probably doesn’t care that much about them anyway.
The final stage is the quiet panic. You’re down to your last few thousand baht, staring at a one way ticket you can’t afford, and the paradise you built has a very real, very expensive expiration date. That’s when farangs go home down, broke and starting from scratch again. My advice to anyone that wants to move to Thailand, make sure you have an income first in case things go wrong.
Paying Her Out of the Bar
This one goes back to if your supposed girlfriend is a bargirl. Let’s say you did meet your girl in a bar, you spend the whole holiday with her paying the barfines and what not. When it’s time to go back home to your country, she has already hooked you and reeled you into what you think is a relationship.
You continue talking and she feeds you crap about wanting a future together and that she wants to stop working at the bar and meet customers. You obviously don’t want her working at the bar either, but she says she can’t leave the bar because she needs the money. This is where she gets you; she will ask you to pay her a salary so she doesn’t have to work at the bar anymore and can wait for you.
Some foreigners have the mindset that they can “save” a bargirl from that life. So you make a deal. You’ll send her a monthly salary, enough for her to live on, so she can quit. It feels like a win-win for the farang. She gets a better life, and you get the peace of mind that she’s not in the bar scene. You are giving her a salary to not go to the bar, but as months go by she is asking for more and more for different bills and money to send home.
You also start to wonder what she’s actually doing all day and night now she is not working at the bar. Is she looking for a real job? Is she just living off your money? There is a big chance she never actually stopped working at the bar, and just takes your money for extra on the side. You’re working hard, maybe at a job you don’t even like, and a big part of your paycheck is just automatically wired to her for the privilege of her not working and to wait for you. In my opinion, anyone paying a girl like this to be with them, it’s not a real relationship, it’s just a complete scam. Again, that’s my opinion.
When the farang finally starts to see some sense and the relationship eventually ends, you look back and realize you were just paying a salary for a girlfriend. And again, you are left without money that could have been used for something else.
Taking on Her Pre Existing Debts
A lot of Thai girls will have debts that you didn’t know about, or some may magically appear later down the line. So he’s now settled in with her, things are getting serious, and then the past shows up with a price tag.
She will tell you some sad story. There’s an old loan from a previous boyfriend, or a family debt from years ago. Now there’s pressure from people wanting their money. Whether any of her stories are true or not, I doubt the farang is ever going to find out.
He feels like he has to be the hero now for his girlfriend. It feels like a one time payment type thing, and then they can focus on their future together without worrying about it again. But it’s never just one debt. Paying off the first one just reveals the next one. It was a test, and he passed by paying up.
Now that she knows he’s the type of farang to fall for that type of thing, the floodgates are open. There’s a cousin who needs money, money that she borrowed from a friend, another loan from a different ex.
He’s not just dating her now; he’s taking responsibility for every bad money decision she ever made before she even met him, even if they aren’t true.
Shared Bank Accounts and Cards Emptied During Fights and Splits
I am not sure why anyone in their right mind would have shared bank accounts with their wife or girlfriend, even in the west, but like a lot of guys in Thailand, common sense quickly goes out the window. So you open a joint account or you give her a card for emergencies. You trust her 100% and convince yourself that nothing is ever going to go bad between you both.
Then a couple of months down the line, another big argument happens and it’s a nasty one. You break up for good, she leaves and goes wherever, nothing happens straight away but later down the line you go to get some cash or buy something and your card gets declined.
She didn’t just take her share. She took every single baht. All of it. The money for the rent, the bills. It’s all gone. That joint account you set up for a shared future, she just used it to wipe you out.
And don’t think because when you met her she was all sweet and innocent that she wouldn’t do something like that, because 99% of people would given the chance. You’re left scrambling, you can report it to the police on the off chance they might help you out, but if you personally gave her a card to your account and she didn’t steal it, there might not be much you can do about it.
Most people have their head screwed on enough to not do this, but to those that do end up doing this, it’s a cold, hard lesson.
Proof of Love Gifts That Get Pawned Quickly
gold is big in Thailand and so is pawning it off, combine that with a naive love struck farang and that is a world of trouble. Many girls you meet in Thailand, the shady ones that is, will ask for gifts to prove you are really serious about them and not just playing around.
Some will even say it’s part of Thai culture and shows that you respect the culture. If it’s not money they want, the next best thing to them is gold.
They do this simply because if it’s a scam they will just pawn off the gold when you get back home, but if she is slightly serious about a relationship with you and it does end up not working out, then she will just pawn it off anyway. It’s a win-win for her no matter what. You want to show you’re serious, that you’re not just playing around and do actually want to be with her so you give in and start spending. A nice gold bracelet, the latest iPhone, or whatever expensive thing she is asking for.
You hand it over, expecting to see that gold around her wrist or that phone in her hand every day. For a little while, it’s there. Then you start to notice it’s gone but don’t worry, she has a story. It’s at the shop for cleaning, she left it at her cousin’s house, a friend is borrowing it. That “proof of love” is already at the pawn shop. It got converted to cash the first chance she got.
The gift wasn’t for her to keep and cherish. It was for her to get yet another pay day from you. You were basically just giving her a stack of cash which was disguised as a romantic gesture. You see the same pattern with other guys. Their girls suddenly have the same phone, the same kind of jewelry, and then just as suddenly, they don’t.
It’s funny, if you ever go into a bar and talk to a bargirl, ask them how many phones they have, more than likely, they will pull out 2 or 3 that they have got their naive farangs to buy them. It’s just a cycle. The gift comes, it gets pawned, the cash gets spent, and the expectation for the next “gift” starts getting planted.
Funding a Small Business
This is the dream that a Thai girl could sell you. She has this idea for a little business, a coffee shop, a hair salon, a food cart, it could be a million different things. She talks about it being your future together, a joint income, a way to build something and for you to comfortably live in Thailand with her. You think it’s a good idea, and if you are thinking to stay in Thailand long term then it must be a no brainer right?
So you start pouring money in for the rent, the renovations, the equipment, the inventory. The bills just keep coming. Oh yeah, and your name is on nothing, everything is owned by her, yet you are the one paying for it all. Months go by and the place is a ghost town, you soon realize that none of you have a clue what you are doing and you’ve discovered that she is bone idle when it comes to making it work.
You argue about money, about her not working hard enough, about your savings draining. The dream that was supposed to bring you together ends up being the very thing that drives you apart. When it finally collapses, you’re left with nothing. The business has gone to her, whether it failed or not, the relationship is over, and you have absolutely nothing to show for it. So yes, when she starts bringing up starting a joint business together, either talk her out of it or do a runner.
So there it is. The ugly truth. Just some of the things I have noticed and read about over the years. It’s enough to make you want to just stay home and never talk to anyone. But that’s not the point. The point isn’t to be scared or to never catch feelings for someone in Thailand. It’s to go in with your eyes wide open. Keep that big heart of yours, but for God’s sake, use your head too. Protect your feelings and your bank account like your future depends on it, because it does.
Learn from the mistakes of every man who came before you. Be the smart one. The one who has an amazing time, builds a great life, and still has a ticket home and a savings account when it’s all said and done. Don’t be a farang statistic. Be the guy who figured it out.
