The Go-Go Girl Who Didn’t Want Money
I just got back from Pattaya two weeks ago after spending a week there from the 15th to the 22nd of March 2026. And now I’m back in Cape Town, South Africa. And this is what happened to me after meeting a go-go bar girl.
The First Meeting
I’m 50 years old, divorced, and have lived alone for 10 years, only dating two or three women in that time. I went to Bangkok and Pattaya in September 2025 for the first time and knew I would go back, but this time alone to have the full experience.
On the Monday night, we ended up at Las Vegas, a go-go bar on LK Metro where we ordered drinks and watched the girls dance on stage. I offered to buy one of the girls a lady drink, which she accepted and joined us after her dance. My eyes were still on the next group of girls dancing when a petite Thai girl with long blonde hair caught my attention. I offered her a drink as well. Her English was above average and she said her name was Om. Needless to say, we hit it off straight away.
Long story short, I spent 4,000 baht on drinks and I asked if I could bar fine her, which she agreed to. The bar fine was 1,900 baht and her fee to spend long time with me at my hotel was 5,000 baht. I paid the bar fine and off we went at about 1:30 a.m.
She ordered a Bolt taxi for us to go back to my hotel and even paid for it, which I thought was strange, but I was too excited to worry about it. We stopped at 7-Eleven as she wanted to get a bottle of red wine.
The Second Night
To my surprise, she sent me a video of her getting back to her condo and said she would like to spend more time with me if I wanted to. I did some sightseeing during the day and found myself back in Soi 6 that Tuesday evening. Om texted me asking if I was coming to see her. After thinking about it for 10 minutes, I decided to go back as we had such a great night the night before.
When the girls on stage changed for the next group, Om was on stage. She immediately noticed me and her whole face lit up and she gestured that she would come and sit with me after her dance routine. Once it was over, she joined me again and we carried on chatting for about an hour, having a great time.
She then asked me to bar fine her again and said she would give the money back to me once we left the club, which I agreed to. She said she had to wait until 2:00 a.m. as after 2:00 a.m. the bar fine is only 800 baht instead of 1,900 baht.
We left and she said she wanted to go for more drinks and took me to a nearby bar. We spent about an hour there. When the bill came it was 3,500 baht, and when I wanted to pay she said she did not want my money and paid herself which really threw me off.
She ordered a Bolt taxi and we went back to her condo. She lives alone there and actually owns it even showed me the title deed to prove it. She owns a Toyota Yaris 2025, and I was very surprised by this.
When the bill came for breakfast, once again, she paid which I did not understand. When I tried to pay her 5,000 baht as expected, she refused.
Catching Feelings
This was now day three, and I knew I was in deep. I decided that I would not see her on Thursday night to avoid catching feelings. However, I found myself back in her bar at midnight wanting to surprise her. When I got there, they told me that she had already gone home. When I texted her, she said she did not think I was coming so she had been bar fined by a Chinese businessman who booked five girls for entertainment at a villa he and four friends were staying at.
I was disappointed, but since I was already at the bar, I bought two girls drinks, which they accepted and sat with me. They were all aware that I had spent 3 days with her and that they would have drinks, but I could not bar fine them.
Om video called me at 5:30 that morning to let me know she was home safe. She looked sober and said she did not drink that night as she was not feeling like drinking after our previous night.
I went to bed at about 6:00 a.m. and only woke at 11:00 a.m. later that Friday morning when I heard the doorbell in my room. I opened the door and there was Om standing. She kissed and hugged me hello. I was not sure whether she’d come to check if I had brought someone back, but she got undressed and we got into bed for some aerobics again and fell asleep.
My friend then phoned me and asked straight away if I was still seeing the same girl from Monday night, to which I had to come clean. He advised me this was not going to end well.
The Goodbye
I told her I did not think we should see each other that Saturday and made up an excuse that I was seeing my friend for the last time which was only half true, as I was already feeling sad about leaving and it was playing on my emotions. I took my flight from Bangkok, landed 8 and a half hours later, and got a connecting flight to Cape Town, landing Sunday afternoon. When I switched on my phone, she had sent me a text saying she missed me and that I should take care. She then continued to send me videos and photos for the next two weeks after I was back in South Africa. She gave me her real Thai name, Porntip, and said she had lied about her age. She was not 35, but in fact 42, turning 43 in October.
I was in a very bad way and realized I had caught feelings for her, and it started affecting my job and mental health. I reached out to my friend living in Pattaya, and he advised me to block her on WhatsApp and delete all photos and videos for my own sanity.
I decided to send her one last message explaining that we needed to end this as it was having a major effect on me back here in South Africa. She sent me a final message saying that she loved me and missed me. I told her it was not possible for us to be together, wished her well, and told her to look after herself and that I really enjoyed meeting her and spending time with her. Then I blocked her.
She knows I’m planning to visit Pattaya again in October and even offered that I could come stay at her condo so we could spend more time together.
This is my story. I’m not sure if I made the right decision. I would love to believe that we had a genuine connection, and maybe I made a big mistake ending it, but so many friends have advised me it is for the best that it never works out with a bar girl and it is only going to cause pain and misery.
What are your thoughts on my situation?
Story 2: A Brother’s Expensive Lesson: Never Trust Too Quickly
My brother had been with a Filipina woman and a Thai woman, and both of them know how to get into his pockets. I had a short time with a Thai girl called Jam who was one of her friends, and it was great. The chemistry was strong and the experience felt intense like many encounters you can find over there.
Before I even left the bed in the morning, she had already made sure I was completely satisfied. And not long after that, the money talk started. I gave her nothing.
My brother, of course, did and never got his money back. So he came to me blaming me because I had lent her €1,000. I warned him not to fall for these traps because they are not with you for you. They are interested in your money. But he only started to understand that when it was too late and she walked away with 40k.
I honestly find it strange how some people fall into these situations so easily.
Advice for Staying Safe
If you want to be happy, you’re better off setting yourself up properly. For example, leasing land for a number of years that you know covers your lifetime. Building a house on it and keeping your independence rather than rushing into marriage. Keeping things casual that suits you and never hand over control or sign anything without thinking. Always keep your documents secure and do not involve them in your personal matters too quickly.
I personally do not fall in love easily, and I’m comfortable on my own, and that has saved me a lot of trouble. I see many guys getting carried away, giving everything to someone because they believe it is a serious relationship.
If you go to Thailand or the Philippines, you need to learn one important thing, and that is to be happy with yourself. There are plenty of places where you can go out, have a few drinks, meet people, and enjoy your life. And if you are social and confident, you will have no problem finding company.
Do not get attached too quickly, especially if money starts being mentioned. That is usually your sign to walk away and carry on with your life. Even when they talk about holidays or other plans, it is best to stay level-headed and not fall for promises. Always live your life on your terms and do not revolve everything around someone else.
Do not let family members become involved in your space too quickly. Keep your boundaries clear and firm, even if it feels uncomfortable at times, because once you lose control, it becomes much harder to get it back.
Some people will always try to take advantage of you. And while there are good people out there, you cannot assume everyone has the best intentions. In the end, it is better to focus on yourself. Find something you really enjoy like gardening or any other hobby and make sure your happiness does not depend on anyone else.
Story 3: Nang, the Bar Girl Who Didn’t Like Farangs
I’ve enjoyed a number of your stories, so thought I’d send you my rather ordinary story now. In my mid 60s, I’ve been divorced for 12 years, reasonably well-travelled, and thankfully fairly solvent. I’m now retired and living in the UK.
I had decided that I wouldn’t visit Thailand again, as there were lots of other places on my bucket list still to visit. However, a very good friend of mine, Adam, had purchased a condo in Jomtien in 2014, as had an American friend of his, Tom. Having talked about it with him, he thought I should buy one as it would be an investment. Perhaps I should go and visit the area first and get to know a little about it. We arranged to spend some time there. So in November, we headed for Thailand.
Jim’s Bar and Meeting Nang
I like to find a place that I feel comfortable in, where I can watch the world go by and have a quiet drink. So, I found my bar that I adopted, which much to their amusement, they eventually christened ‘Jim’s Bar’. Time passed all too quickly, and with only five days left of our time in Jomtien, the bar manager at Jim’s Bar asked why I was not with a girl. I hadn’t been looking for a girlfriend, but had met quite a few girls, if you know what I mean. The bar manager said she knew someone who may wish to meet me. So, I said fine, I’d be happy to meet her.
A little while later, she introduced me to Nang a pretty girl, but a little shy and not like the others. I asked her if she would like a drink. And before she said yes, she said, “I don’t like farangs.” Not the best of starts, but never mind. I said I would still buy her a drink. The atmosphere warmed a little and we started to chat, although her English was pretty poor. To cut a long story short, I bar fined her and she gave me a lift back to my condo.
She was very sweet and told me her husband had died and she came from Isaan and needed to support her children. She kept saying she wanted to return to her village as she didn’t like the work, and I offered to pay her airfare approximately £28 back then but she said no.
In the morning, she had gone. No word, just washing up and tidying done. Oh well, I thought that was it. A couple of hours later, as I was considering going for breakfast, there was a knock at the door. Yes, you’ve guessed it. She was back. She had been to the temple.
Anyway, four happy days later, no demand from her for money. She even lent me some in the supermarket as I’d run out of cigarettes. Also, I told her I wouldn’t bar fine her every day, so I didn’t. I brought her food, drinks, and some phone credit, but she didn’t ask me for money. When it came to leave, we said our goodbyes, and then I gave her some money the change I had. I think about 1,400 baht.
We kept in touch from time to time through LINE. She had returned to her village, sending me photos of the temples and her working on the family land, etc.
The Money Request
She and I kept in touch for some 3 years, just chatting and her telling me she was now back home. Photos of the family, properties, her out shopping, etc. No asking for money for a sick family member or a sick buffalo. Sadly, out of the blue, I received a message a long screen of Thai with photos of a bad leg and a bank account details.
At that point, I realized she had eventually decided to ask for money. I immediately blocked her account. She continued to send lots of sorry messages, and why didn’t I speak to her? She said she hadn’t sent the long message and wanted to keep talking. I decided that it wasn’t going to go anywhere, so stuck to my guns.
This story just demonstrates that some of the girls really don’t want to be there working. I wish Nang the best of times. She left a very nice impression on me, and I’m sure she is doing what she has to do to feed her children.
Story 4: Pom, the Kindness of a Pattaya Bar Girl
I would like to say that all I hear about most of the time is that bar girls are only after money and what they can get out of you. Even though that is true up to a certain point, my experience over the last 20 years has been a good one. I find if you take care of the girls and treat them with respect, they are always happy with that.
Falling Ill in Pattaya
My story starts in May 2023. I came to Pattaya for a couple of weeks, had a good time, and made some new friends. The last three days in Pattaya, I felt really ill. The girl I met on the day that I fell ill was named Pom. The first night we were together, we had the normal bedroom fun, which was very good. However, during the night, I came over all funny feeling sick, shivering, and lethargic. I struggled to get out of bed. I remember thinking at the time, I must have had a very rough night while out in the bars, and all I needed was a good breakfast, some exercise, and fresh air, and I would feel right as rain again. After breakfast, we did some shopping because I wanted to get some gifts for my family back home. Upon returning to the hotel, I felt really bad much worse than before. By the time I got back to my room, throwing up and having hot flushes, to be honest, I was getting very worried about my condition.
Pom offered to go out to a pharmacy, as there was one very close to where I was staying. So I gave her some money and asked her to just go and ask the pharmacy what I should take given my condition. She came back with everything she said I should take, and for the next six hours she looked after me wiping me down with a cold towel, administering the medication, and generally taking care of me.
I was still feeling very rough and just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep it off. I didn’t want to waste Pom’s time, so I paid her for her time and the aerobics the night before and told her she should leave and just let me sleep. Pom left and I fell into a deep sleep for about an hour.
When I awoke, my head was spinning and I was very worried about my condition. There was a knock at the door. I struggled to get to the door and open it. To my surprise, there was Pom with a bag in her hand. She told me that she was worried about me and didn’t want to go and work in the bar that night, and she had brought me some hot food.
If I was totally honest with myself, I would say the sight of Pom standing in the doorway was the best sight I’d seen in a long time. I was on my own, many miles from home, lonely and worried about my condition. Just having company lifted my spirits no end.
I fell asleep again, and every time I woke up every few hours or so there was Pom sitting in the chair next to the bed, wiping me down with a cold towel and holding a cup of water up for me to drink. I honestly don’t know how much more difficult my time would have been without her in the room looking after me. She was fantastic. I’m full of respect for her. Bar girl or no bar girl.
The Honesty Test
When I was packing to leave for the airport, I noticed I’d left my wallet on the table and my safe was open, which had a considerable amount of money in there. Obviously, I’d fallen asleep, so Pom could have helped herself and made a lot of money but I knew how much was there. I checked everything, and she didn’t help herself to one penny. She could have easily taken the lot and disappeared.
I was so grateful for having met this girl. I tried to give her money for her time that she had spent with me over the last couple of days, but she wouldn’t take it. She just told me that she needed to pay the bar fine for the day she hadn’t been there, and that was all she would accept from me.
When the time came to leave the hotel, Pom helped me downstairs and into the taxi, as I was still feeling very weak. I was absolutely mortified to be leaving this girl behind. She was wonderful.
Sending a Thank You
When I got back to the UK, it took me several weeks to fully recover. I had taken Pom’s LINE ID, so I was in contact with her. I was so grateful for how she had looked after me. I asked her to send me her bank details. I figured the least I could do was to send her a few thousand baht for looking after me, as she did.
I will be returning to Thailand again for 3 weeks in November. I was a frequent visitor in the bar where I met Pom, so I knew the bar owner, who was Thai but spoke very good English. I thought I’d take a gamble. I text her and asked if I could call her, to which she agreed. I told her the story about Pom and how she had looked after me and been brilliant with me. I asked her if I could send 10,000 baht to her bank account and then for her to give the money to Pom on my behalf.
I knew it was a risk, and the bar owner could have simply pocketed the cash, but I had a good feeling about her and took the gamble. A few days later, Pom video called me from the bar. She was holding the 10,000 baht I had sent her and was waving it about in front of the other girls. She looked so happy, and of course it was massive face in front of the other girls. So she was probably happier about that than actually receiving the cash.
