Why Do Men Fall For Thai Bargirls?

Thank you in advance if you decide to share my story on your channel.

I wanted to send my short story and experience with a bargirl because I see the question all the time “Why would anyone fall in love with a bargirl”

I would like to share my experience and try to answer that question on why I think that I fell in love with a bargirl.

So let’s start.

Once upon a time, a nervous guy took a solo trip to Thailand.

Why I Went On My First Trip To Thailand

I’m a 27-year-old from Belgium, and I’ve always had a thing for Asian girls.

Deep down I am a very shy person and quite the introvert, did not attend nightclubs and parties much and only had a small circle of friends.

My experience with ladies is pretty much none existent, the reason for that is:

1) I am not confident at all and

2) ladies in my country just do nothing for me.

Going on a solo trip would force me out of my comfort zone and I was hoping it would do a lot for my confidence.

What better place to do that than Thailand.

Meeting People In Bangkok

On my second day in Bangkok, I met a local who offered to show me around.

He was actually a foreigner, but claimed to have lived in Thailand for many years, so he knew the place to go.

After a few beers on Sukhumvit road, and Soi 4, we ended up at Soi Cowboy, and that’s when the real adventure began.

Don’t get me wrong, Soi 4 has a few decent bars but the women there seemed a little too old for me and I don’t think they were actually interested in me.

It was only around 9pm and the guy I was with said that Nana Plaza does not pick up until around 11pm, so we agreed to go there a bit later on.

Entering the Famous Thai Bar Scene

As soon as I stepped into the bar on Soi Cowboy, a bargirl came up to me.

She was young, cute, had a lot of work done to her body and was very touchy with me.

She spoke very good English, remember this is my first time here, later I found out that if a bargirl speaks very good English that can be a red flag.

After chatting and having a few lady drinks, I paid her bar fine and took her back to my hotel.

Experiencing My First Barfine In Bangkok

When we got back to the hotel, I did not realize it before but she was pretty drunk, so I decided nothing was going to happen between us.

I told her that she should leave and I will see her again tomorrow, earlier so she is not drunk.

She got upset and kept pushing, but I told her I don’t mess around with drunk girls.

I was trying to be respectful because that is in my nature, I know its work for her but at the same time I did not want to take advantage, I just wouldn’t have felt right.

Looking back, I realize it wasn’t just that—part of me had this “nice guy” thing, like I wanted to rescue her, be the hero.

Like many of us that go there, we get this mindset where we want to save the give, but, really, I couldn’t even save myself.

A Dangerous Situation With A Thai Go Go Girl

Then things got intense—she grabbed a bottle and looked ready to throw it at me.

She went from this cute outgoing girl in the bar to an absolute monster, completely different person.

I panicked and threw some money at her to calm things down.

She took it and left.

I was glad to be out of that situation, even if it means being out of pocket.

This was my first ever barfine by the way, so it almost put me off Thailand all together after that experience.

First Mistake, Barfining The Same Bargirl

The next day, I went back to Soi Cowboy, and she apologized.

And, well, I barfined her again.

Silly me.

I don’t know what made me barfine her again after the first night, just something about her that drawn me to her.

This time, I took her straight away, so there were no lady drinks and she was sober, we had a fantastic night together.

In fact, it was such a good night together that I went back to her a few more times because I enjoyed my time with her.

I ended up spending a few days and nights with her, and honestly, it was nice.

Catching Feelings In The Wrong Place

And not just in the bedroom sense, like, in the days we would go out to eat and then at night go to her bar for a few drinks before returning home to spend the night together again.

Anyway, I told her that I had plans to go to Pattaya for 10 days, as I had already booked my hotel and got things sorted.

She was upset that I was leaving, especially for Pattaya, and she was hinting that she wanted to come with me.

I wanted to go alone because I had heard a lot about Pattaya that I wanted to see for myself.

Plus, I did not want to pay 10 nights worth of barfines for her.

In Pattaya she kept texting me things like, “I love you” and “I miss you.”

We all know those lines now, but back then, I didn’t.

First Timers Experience In Pattaya City

I did have fun in Pattaya and it’s such a crazy and lively place, but my mind was still on this girl from Soi Cowboy.

I suppose we can all remember our first girl and the affect she had on us, right?

I did meet one girl in Pattaya, but I did not really have the same connection with her than I did my Bangkok girl.

I thought it would be a waste of money if I stay there with a girl I don’t really want to be.

After 5 days in Pattaya, I asked her if she would like me to cut my trip short and head back to Bangkok to spend the rest of my trip with her.

Cutting My Trip Short For A Bargirl

She was more than happy for me to come back to her, and I was glad to show her that I did really like her and was willing to cut my trip short just for her.

In the last few days of my trip, I spent more time with her, and things were going well.

When we would go to her bar, I personally think she was the most attractive girl in there.

Customers would always try and talk with her, even if she was sat next to me, it became pretty annoying.

But she did tell them that she was with me, which was a nice feeling.

Regretfully Falling For Her

Stupidly, I started to catch feelings for her, looking back I wish I stayed in Pattaya for the rest of my trip, maybe this story would have been different.

She told me she was falling in love with me, and I felt the same.

People said she was just a freelancer and its just work for her, but I believed her feelings were real.

Deep down I should have listened to people and knew this was just her job, and it was all transactional.

Problem is I listened to my heart and not my head.

In my heart I believed that I could actually start a relationship with this girl if she stopped working at the bar.

If she stopped working at the bar and got a normal job then it would of been a lot easier on me.

So, I told her I’d give her 10,000 baht a month if she’d stop working at the bar.

10,000 is not a lot of money each month, even to Thai’s so I know I was asking a lot from her.

She sort of agreed to leave the bar for 10k, and I headed back to cold gloomy Belgium, back to my boring life.

She Promised Me She Would Stop Working At The Bar

When I got back home, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, of course, she didn’t stop working at the bar

10,000 baht wasn’t enough.

She needed 40,000 to cover her expenses.

I explained to her that im not some rich old foreigner that can afford that kind of money each month.

I told her that I needed to keep saving money so I could come back to Thailand to spend more time with her and be together.

Of course, she did not listen, money was more important to her than seeing me.

Then the mind games began—the subtle manipulation, delayed replies, ignored calls, dodged questions.

Every time I did not give into her requests for money or other favors, she would make me feel extremely bad as if I did not care for her.

Even though I would try give her what she wanted, it was never good enough, she always needed more.

She would tell me that she is at work with a rich customer that can give her more than what I can, just mean uncalled for stuff like that to make me feel bad.

I started losing it, feeling left in the dark, not knowing what to do. I

was a silly youngish foreigner that was in love with a bargirl.

Mind Games That Bar Girls Play

Things got so messed up that I even started playing games back.

I would either ignore her, or tell her I will send what she requested later but never send it.

After a while, with a friend’s help, I started to see how much I was being played.

I should have seen it a lot sooner, I guess I just got too caught up in the fantasy that this relationship could work.

The thing with these girls, generally, is that they know every trick in the book, and they know how to play the game very well.

You can never win—because, in the end, they don’t really care, and they probably never did since day 1 of meeting you.

They are great at pretending like they have feelings for you, they know what to say to make you feel special and feel like she is different from the rest.

Yes, I know the saying “Mine is different” is laughed about within the bar scene, but at the time I knew nothing about it.

I have listened to plenty of stories, and read even more online since, but I never found a simple reason why we fall for these bargirls beyond their smiles and charm.

Why Do Foreign Men Fall For Bargirls?

I mean, there are plenty of nice girls in Thailand that work normal respectable jobs, so why do some of us fall for bargirls?

Eventually, I figured it out: it’s a one-way street.

We invest 100%, and our minds tell us, ‘I must really love her, or I wouldn’t be doing all this.’

Then, when she starts pulling away, we invest even more—because we don’t want to lose all the money, effort, and time we’ve already put in.

It’s like losing money in a casino, then you put more in trying to win back what you have already lost.

Only in this situation, you don’t get anything back no matter how much you put in.

I learned a lot on this trip, and Thailand can either make or break you.

Thailand Can Really Swallow You Up and Spit You Out

You can go to Thailand and have the best time of your life, return home and go back to normal until the next trip.

You can also go to Thailand, fall in love, and then everything changes, most of the time for the worst.

Some people understand it, while others don’t, and some will learn the hard way, like I did.

Though, sometimes, I think it’s best people learn the hard way.

Its easy to say “I will never fall for a bargirl” until you do.

It’s true what many vloggers say: a relationship with a bargirl is tough, and I don’t think it can work in the long run.

Yes, there are some success stories out there, but most of the time, they met back in the day when the world and Thailand was a lot different, as were the people.

Now days, the girls are always addicted to the hunt, always looking for the next guy.

I think even if the girl met the guy of her dreams, she would still do her work because she’s addicted to the hunt and money.

Guys Pay For The Experience, Its Not A Real Relationship

Just look how many stories there are where the guy pays a handsome amount of money each month for his girlfriend to not work at the bar, only to find out later down the line that she never did leave the bar.

But there’s one thing we can learn from them: abundance.

I’ve seen it—many people come to Thailand looking for their dream girl in the bars, just like I did.

But they don’t realize that the chances of finding someone who truly loves you and wants to be with you for more than just your money are pretty slim.

They make good holiday girlfriends, but once you leave Thailand, that’s when everything will start piling up on you.

I think one reason many people fall for Thai girls is that we all have our problems and insecurities.

Maybe like me, men lack confidence, shy, not good at talking to women, stuff like that.

The Attention From Bargirls Is Like No Other

In Thailand, it feels easier to get attention from girls, while in Europe, it’s much tougher to attract beautiful women.

I realized I have my own problems too, and I thought traveling would help me get attention from girls.

But in the end, that kind of attention isn’t permanent—you have to work for everything in life.

With my low self-esteem and fears, even if I wanted to be with a Thai girl, it would never work out.

I’d end up living for her instead of for myself.

The girl I met could have quite easily broke me financially and emotionally, If it wasn’t for my friend and all the stories people had shared, then It quite well could of happened.

First, I need to find myself and work on my issues before I even think about finding a Thai girl.

There are so many cultural differences, and if you’re not grounded, you can lose everything there.

It’s such an illusion, and many people end up getting trapped.

You really need to get it into your head that while in Thailand, this is a temporary get away from the real world, and it’s not going to last.

I love the saying that I hear a lot, that when going to Thailand you should leave your heart at the airport because it’s exactly 100% true.

Having said that, Thailand does not only have the nightlife, it’s a beautiful country and many ways to meet girls there.

If you are looking for love, probably best to stay out the bar, and in that case, you can take your heart with you.

I believe that if you know who you are and are happy with yourself, then a long-term relationship with a Thai girl can work.

But that’s not easy.

As a man, you often have to provide for almost everything, and if you don’t find a good girl, you get very little in return, and this isn’t just down to Thai women, its any women.

A relationship with a Thai girl can work, but it’s tough to find someone in the bar scene.

So next year, I plan to go back and look for a good girl—not a freelancer or bargirl.

I want to do it from the heart.

That’s my experience, take from it what you will, thanks and good luck