What Happens When You Break The 3 Day In Pattaya

I am a foreign man from Germany, im 25 years old and this is my story about a bar girl that I met in Pattaya.

Most people that go to Pattaya are aware of the 3 day rule, it basically means the maximum days you should spend with a bargirl in 3 days.

My story is a great example to why that is a good rule to follow and what can happen if you break that rule.

English is not my first language so they’re maybe some mistakes, but hopefully you understand me and the problem that I am facing with this girl.

So My Story Starts In Pattaya, Before Breaking The 3 Day Rule.

This was my first trip to this amazing city, a complete and total newbie to the lifestyle there.

I was fresh off the boat and ready to have some fun.

Before coming to Pattaya, I had heard all about the bargirls and Thai girls in the city and the type of things that people get up to.

I wanted to experience it first hand, up close and personal.

I had heard about Walking street, Beach road, LK Metro and all a few other places.

But open bars and chatting to bargirls seemed like my kind of thing.

I mean walking street and the night clubs sound good, but I went to Pattaya for the ladies like most of us do.

In fact, I never even made it onto walking street during my whole trip.

As soon as I got there I headed out, I pretty much loved it. Pattaya instantly had me.

Taking The 3-Day Rule Serious In Pattaya

The first 2 weeks that I was there, I would go out in the day, find a girl in the bar, barfine her and spend the day with her.

I would then leave her in the evening and I would go to a different bar and find a different bargirl to chat and barfine.

I did this pretty much every day.

I took the 3 day rule pretty serious that I did not even make it to 3 days.

It was fun doing this, but for some reason, none of the girls I met could hold my interest long enough for me to spend more than a day with them.

This could be a number of things, such as the language barrier, as even if they did speak English, my English was still terrible.

I consider myself a party animal, I like to go out and have fun. Most of the girls I met just wanted to lay in bed all day, relax and talk.

When I would talk to them, it seemed like they would be sweet talking me and felt like all they wanted was for me to fall for them.

They tried that hard that it was almost laughable.

I know I was a newbie, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think that this was anymore than just some transactional fun.

I am not a demanding guy, but I was there to have fun, and staying in bed all day chatting to some girl just wasn’t my idea of fun.

Meeting Nan, Changed Everything For Me

This is changed when I met bargirl Nan.

She was one of them girls that stand outside the bar screaming handsome man and trying to drag you inside, that is how we met.

At first I refused, but I was with a friend at the time and he convinced me to go in as there were a pool table inside.

Me and this girl chatted for a bit and I got her a couple of lady drinks.

She was very flirtatious with me and I felt like she would be up for a lot of fun activities if you know what I mean.

It wasn’t long after that I decided I am going to take her with me, she looked and acted like she loves to party.

She was exactly the type of girl I would normally go after.

Stunning, slim, dark skin and a party animal.

I felt like I could have some exciting times with this one, she seemed very fun.

She was not shy in the slightest and was very eager for me to barfine her for the night.

Different Types Of Bargirls, For Different Types of People

I have come across some girls in the bars that just sit there, can’t speak any English, look bored and still expect drinks.

I don’t want to sound like I am some superior man, but come on, at least put a bit of effort into your work.

I can’t think of anything worse than barfining a bar girl that can’t speak English and is bored out of her head.

I mean, there are translation apps now days but still, it’s not the same as talking to each other and actually understanding each other.

So with chearing from my friends and her bar girl friends, we left the bar and did a little bar hopping together.

Unfortunately, after the second bar I felt extremely feverish, like all of a sudden just went completely dizzy.

I don’t know if it was because of something I eaten earlier or because of leaving air conditioned bars straight outside to the red hot heat.

Either way, I decided to make the most of it and just hoped it would pass later.

We met up with my friends again later that night and had a few more drinks together.

I felt worse, I stopped drinking and my friends said all the colour from my face has just washed away and I looked like a ghost.

Everyone kept suggesting for me to go to the hospital.

Even though I had travel and health insurance, im a very stubbon guy and refused to go get checked out, I just did not want to go to hospital and they say I have to stay there for the night.

This Bargirl Turned Out To Be The Sweetest I Had Met

I was on holiday and did not want a little fever that could pass anytime soon to ruin that.

The girl I barfined went to the chemist and got me some medicine, she returned with like 5 different types of pills, but stubborn me just took one and then put the rest in my pocket.

It came a point where I was sweating a lot, very dizzy and just needed to lie down, I couldn’t take it anymore so I apologised to the girl and said I have to go back to bed.

She could see that I was feeling really bad and offered to come and take care of me.

Even though I had already paid her, I said no because I did not want her to get sick as well and catch whatever I have, but she still insisted to come with me.

She was an angel that night, as soon as I got into the hotel room I fell onto the bed and kept falling in and out of sleep.

Every time I woke up she would be there playing on her phone, asking me how im feeling and if I need anything.

She never left my side apart from when she went to 7eleven to get some noodles and soup for us both.

She would even keep going to the bathroom, getting a warm wet towel and placing it on my forehead while I would be sleeping.

I think most girls in that position would have took the money and left, probably go back to work to make more money.

Pattaya Bargirl Turned Into A Caring Angel

This girl stayed with me all night and even though I was knocked out, she did not do anything shady such as rob me.

For the next 3 or 4 days I was sick in bed and had no energy to go out, I had a fever and was just taking medicine that the chemist recommended.

Unbelievably, the girl stayed with me all 3 of these nights.

Yes, I broke the 3 day rule and was diving head first into the deep end of the pool of mistakes.

She would go out and get breakfast for me in the morning, stay for about an hour and then go do whatever she needed to before returning again to stay the night with me.

Of course, I still paid the barfine for these nights but it was totally worth it, even though we did not have any bedroom fun.

During these nights and as my feeling and energy was coming back to me, we got to know each other really well, just staying in and talking.

She told me stories of how she was with a Thai man for a few years and had a child with him, but he was an abusive person and did not treat her nice.

Finally she built up the courage to leave him a year before I met her. Sounds like he was a very controlling person.

She also told me the typical bargirl stories, she has a sick mother in Isan that looks after her child while she is in Pattaya.

Learning More About My New Found Love In Pattaya

Has a brother that is too lazy to work, you know, the usual stories.

I just went with it, even though I have heard it a million times before.

She also told me something about promising her father that she would be going to school and make something of her life, but he passed away when she was at a young age.

We got onto the topic about what we wanted to do with our lives and our goals.

Bearing in mind, we were still youngish. I was 25 and she was actually a couple of years older than me.

I know, that is rare in Pattaya to see a guy with an older woman, but it is what it is.

She said she is doing this type of work to save as much money as possible and eventually move back to Isan and open up a shop.

She did not like doing this for her work but claimed it makes more money than most jobs available to her in Thailand.

Surprisingly, she told me she has no desire to meet a man and move out of Thailand, she also vowed never to fall in love with anyone.

First Night Out With A Bargirl After Sickness

She sees it as a job and that’s it, that is perfectly fine with me.

I slowly got better and felt alive again, the first night that I managed to actually go out to the bars again, I took her with me and we had a lot of fun together.

That night we got drunk and she told me that she has to stay with me tonight because I had paid her for 4 nights and we hadn’t done anything yet.

I had been knocked out for a few days and was feeling fresh as a daisy, so I was totally up for the job.

We went back to the hotel at the end of the night and did not get a wink of sleep, I even surprised myself with how I performed.

The morning after, me and a couple of friends planned on heading to Bangkok because we alll wanted to check out Soi Cowboy, none of us has been there before.

I told my lady that I would be back in a couple of days, but she replied something like “All farang lie, they never come back”.

She then went onto tell me about an American pilot that had planned on coming back to Pattaya to marry her after spending a month with her.

She later found out that he was not a pilot, he was a married factory worker. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at that story.

Also she had 2 farang boyfriends in the past that promised her the world and gave her nothing.

Telling A Bargirl You Will Return, Is Something They Have Heard All Before

So I can understand the reasoning behind her not believing that I will come back to see her.

Either way, I promised her that I would come back because I liked spending time with her.

She still did not believe me when she left the hotel but I knew I would be back.

Me and my friends headed to Bangkok but Soi Cowboy was smaller than we thought, and one night there was enough.

It’s not actually as good as people make out in my opinion. It’s over priced, full of tourists, busy and the girls are not much to look at. But hey, that’s my opinion.

We went back to Pattaya sooner than expected and sooner than I told my lady.

Back in Pattaya I was eager to see my lady again even though I had only been away from her for 1 night, so I got ready and headed to her bar.

I walked in and was expecting her to be happy that I stuck to my promise and came back, but she looked at me with disgust and said something like “Why you lie to me, you tell me you will be back in a few days, not 1 day, you really go Bangkok?”

I don’t understand why she thought I would lie about going to Bangkok, but then it hit me, she thought I had been with another girl in Pattaya and that I used Bangkok as an excuse.

Issues When Feelings Start Developing For A Pattaya Girl

I just laughed and told her that I came back early because I missed her, which I guess was true, I did actually miss her.

She finally calmed down and believed that I did not stay in Pattaya with another girl, and the night of drinks and lady drinks began.

After that night out, she stayed with me again and left in the morning.

Now here is the part that everyone was expected but nobody being surprised…. I fell in love with her.

When she left that morning I just felt different, like I did not want her to leave nor did I want to leave Pattaya, because of her.

Stupid, I know.

I had always planned to just have fun with my life and then once im 30, maybe, just maybe, start something serious with someone.

And that goes for back home as well, not just Thailand.

Love is not for me, it’s not something I wanted, I did not want to catch feelings for anyway and never will I fall in love… so I thought.

Instead of chasing her like a love struck fool, I wanted to break it off as soon as possible because I knew that the chances of this turning out good are very slim.

A Difficult Decision To Break Up With A Thai Girl

So that night when she came over as she usual does I laid it out straight for her, I told her that I was starting to catch feelings and fall in love with her.

I told her that we should not see each other anymore and I politely told her that I did not want to lose my heart to a bargirl.

She tried to ask what she did wrong for me to break off what we had, but once I explained that it wasn’t her fault then she kind of understood, or so I thought.

Because I had already paid her the barfine money in advance, like I did all the time, I told her she can stay the night if she wants.

She agreed and all we did was get some snacks from 7eleven and watched a movie on the TV, which was pointless as it was in Thai.

Anyway, about half way through the movie she started crying.

I asked why she is crying and she replied that I am a bad man and that I have made her lose face, I was only with her because she took care of me when I was sick.

Mixed Emotions All Around For Us Both

I said “I thought you understood that I do not want to fall in love with a bargirl and that it is nothing personal”

She still went on that I am a bad man and that I probably do this to every girl.

I told her that she is the first bargirl I had broke the 3 day rule with, and told her that I really did like her and that is the reason I want to break it off.

I gave her the choice to leave and I’d give her taxi money, but she was adamant that she wanted to stay one last night with me.

I changed the mood of things and cracked a few jokes like I always do, she laughed and everything was cool for a bit.

We snuggled up, one thing lead to another and we ended up in some crazy bedroom time.

After we had done the business, she crawled up to be and once again began crying.

She said something in Thai to me but my Thai is none existent, when I asked her what she said she replied that she loves me as well but doesn’t want to because she knows I will break her heart.

I have to say that this girl is a very tough type of girl, she never shows her emotions since the day I met her and I would never of thought I would see her cry or catch feelings for someone.

So for her to tell me that she loves me was very unexpected.

Saying Bye To A Bargirl You Have Spent Too Much Time With

The next day, we said our final good byes to each other which was pretty emotional for us both and she left.

I went to the ATM to get some money for the day and night, and it turns out someone had tried to use my card online or something and it had been frozen by the bank.

This meant I could not draw anymore money out, I only had 5,000 baht cash left and I still had 4 days until I fly home.

Just before anyone says, it wasn’t her that tried to use my card, it was frozen because the transaction came from Nigeria.

So now I was in a bit of a dilemma, I had 4 more days left in Pattaya and only had 5,000 baht to my name.

Scammed In Thailand From Nigeria

Temptation got the better of me that night while I was bored at my hotel, and I went back to my bargirls bar.

Her friends told me that she had already been barfined with a customer and that she had been talking about me while being upset.

I thought Yeah, she was that upset she had already gone with another customer.

I called her and she sounds completely out of it, like she had drank way too much.

She told me that she isn’t far from the bar and that she will leave her customer and come to me as soon as she can.

30 minutes later, she came stumbling towards me, hugging me saying she misses me.

This was infront of the other bargirls and customers, it was quite embarrassing, and it hadn’t even been 24 hours since we last saw each other.

I tell her I can’t stay long or pay her barfine because of the situation with my bank.

I Think This Bargirl Has Feelings For Me Also

She said she had already been barfined so she can come with me for free and I did not need to pay her.

The rest of the trip, she actually barfined herself and even paid for our food, something pretty unheard of in Pattaya.

I did not ask her to pay for anything, but I appreciated it and told her I would pay her back as soon as I get home and sort my bank out, so not to worry

Oh my last night, we went to her bar for a few drinks with the remaining money that I have left.

Her friends were teasing us at one point and one of them said “aww do you love each other?” Joking around, and my girl replied “He is my boyfriend now”

I looked at her shocked because we hadn’t discussed anything like that, and she starts to go really shy.

Her friends say something to her in Thai and she changes from this tough party animal that I first met, to completely timid and shy girl.

Spending The Last Night In Pattaya Together

After just a few drinks on her bar we head back to my hotel where we spend the rest of my last night in Pattaya together.

While we were lying there chatting, she told me that she has told her mother about me, and that’s something she never does because her mum does not know that she is working as a bar girl.

I don’t believe this for one second that she told her mother about me, and I also don’t believe that her mum does not know she is a bar girl.

She sends money home every month, she dresses nice and has money in the bank, of course her mum will think that she is up to something.

I am now heading back to Germany after a rollercoaster of a trip in Pattaya, and my girl says she is going to go back to Isan and stay with the family because she misses them.

Again, I think this is another lie but whatever, I did not question her about it, because I did not really care.

For 2 weeks while I was back in Germany and she was apparently back in Isan, we spoke on the phone every day and even discussed her coming to visit me in Germany.

Now I Am Not Sure If This Thai Girl Is Being Honest With Me

She said that she can’t because her family do not like farangs, Im thinking, that is some pathetic excuse.

During this 2 weeks of her away from Pattaya, we had of course had a discussion about money.

I sent her 30,000 baht, but included in that was the reimbursement of the food and whatever else she paid for for me on the last 4 days.

She helped me out in my last days in Pattaya, so I thought sending her some money was the least I could do.

She did not ask me for anymore, and said that 30,000 is enough.

The Question of Leaving the Bar

And then the question came that only a love struck fool who’s fell for a bargirl will ask.

“How much will you need for you to leave the bar and not work there anymore”

I know, it’s cringe and laughable but a little part of me was hoping that I could make this work between us.

I just thrown a number out there and said if I give you 10,000 baht a month will you leave?

I know that 10,000 is very cheap and a low offer, but I am only 25, I need to save money for my future and if there is any Germans listening to this story, you know houses are not cheap.

I am also not at the stage yet where I am considering moving to Thailand for a woman, im not that stupid.

She tells me that 10,000 is way too low, she would need a minimum of 20,000 and even then she would be losing out.

She told me she would need 10,000 for herself and 10,000 for her family.

Making it very clear to me that her family is a lot more important than her future relationships which I somewhat understand.

These girls worship their mothers in Thailand, so I did not even try to pursued her.

No matter how much I thought about it, there is no way I could send more than 10,000 a month.

Even if she agreed to it, I would still be a bit cautious. I don’t really know what I was thinking when I asked if I could pay her out the bar.

The Choice of Returning to Pattaya

So with me not being able to pay her out the bar, and her so used to making a lot of money, she went back to Pattaya and straight back to the bar.

I did not like the thought of her going back to the bar but what else was I meant to do? She loves money and I can’t give it her.

I think what I worried about the most is if what if she finds another guy like me and falls in love like she claims she has with me.

She will be meeting new farangs every day, and im nothing special, though she still calls me most nights even if just for a few minutes and we are in constant contact with each other.

She does claim that her feelings are genuine and I can say that I think I am in love with her.

I have never been in love before I don’t think, and never felt like this about anyone before.

I don’t think she is lying about things she says because she had never tried to make me fall in love with her and she was honest to me about wanting to stay living in Thailand and that she wasn’t looking for a man to sweep her off her feet.

Figuring Out If A Thai Girl Is Playing Love Games or Not

She would have told me opposite to that if she was trying to play me, right?

I think if she was trying to play games, she would have smothered me with love and affection to make me fall deep for her. Instead, she just acted like a good friend with benefits.

Even now when she calls me she will always end the call by saying she loves me.

Though, if she is with friends she will either say it quietly and giggle, or just not say it at all.

I do offer to send her money when she needs it but she never really asks me for a lot, only a couple of thousand when work is slow.

She never hounds me for money to send back to her family, or complain that her phone is broken and needs a new one like most of the girls end up doing.

The only time she has directly asked me for money was when it was one of her friends birthdays at the bar and she wanted to buy herself and her friends some drinks.

I did not mind to treat her to drinks, it was only a couple of thousand so nothing crazy.

She has told me many of times that when I find a new lady that I need to tell her so she can move on and not wait for anything to happen between us.

The Complexity of Long-Distance Love With A Thai Woman

The truth is, before meeting her I did not plan to meet anyone, and now since meeting her, I really don’t want anyone else.

I replied and asked what if you fall in love with someone else, to which she said she can’t because she loves me.

She is obviously not scamming me, she knows im a youngish guy that is still figuring out life and saving for my future.

She knows I do not plan on moving to Thailand, and she has no interest in coming to my country.

I don’t know, im wondering if she really loves me or not, or if Im falling for a trap.

She tells me that she wants something to happen between us but money is more important to her, as it is for me right now.

I am not a walking ATM for her, I don’t sponsor her, I don’t buy her gifts, and I have not paid her out of the bar.

She knows my situation and she knows that she wont get much from me.

I know she probably has other customers that are sending her money, im not stupid, and that’s fine.

Now I Regret Breaking The 3-Day Rule

I just don’t understand why she would want a long distance relationship with me and hope to be with me in the future, if im not the one supporting her but others are.

So what’s her game plan? Does she really love me or not? I really can’t tell.

It’s driving me crazy and I would like a professional Thailand visitors view on this one.

I hope I did not bore you guys with my story, I just could do with some advice here.

So here I am, submitting my story of what can happen when you break the 3 day rule.