I Barfined Her in Pattaya and It Turned Toxic Fast

Pattaya Bargirl, Total Madness

I Barfined Her in Pattaya… It Turned Toxic Fast

There’s this rule I’ve always had in Pattaya the 3 day rule. And I’ve actually managed to stick to it every single time I’ve been there.

This is about something that happened with a crazy bar girl I met not that long ago on Soi LK Metro.

I’m a 40 year old, not a bad looking guy, and usually pretty clued up. Though after you read this, you might think otherwise.

Years of Coming to Pattaya

I’ve been coming to Pattaya for a long time now, and in all that time I’d never stayed with a girl for more than 3 nights, and I’d never fallen in love with any of them either.

I liked to think that after all my trips to sin city, I’d got pretty clued up on the do’s and don’ts when it comes to feelings and all that sort of thing.

This time around, all of that got turned completely upside down. I know I’ve been an idiot, but I want to put this out there because some people might relate to it, or at least take something away from my stupidity.

So I’d just got back from a 6 month trip in Pattaya because I wanted to see if I could actually end up living there long term.

I did 3 months on the visa exemption thing, left the country, and came back again, as I didn’t want to bother getting a proper visa just yet in case it turned out I didn’t actually like it there.

Not Being a Cheap Charlie

Also, I’m not a cheap Charlie by any means, but I’m definitely not one of those two week millionaire types either.

I headed into a bar one night purely just to watch some football. I’m not that much of a party animal, to be honest, and it’s pretty rare that I even get tipsy.

Anyway, one night while I was there, I headed to a bar on LK Metro that I go to pretty regularly to watch sports.

There was a girl sitting at the bar quietly. She was clearly over 40 years old, attractive to me personally, but certainly not a stunner or anything like that.

There was just something about her. You know how you can find someone attractive but you’re not really sure why? Like there was just something about her that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Ignoring Her on the First Night

I didn’t even speak to her that night. I was out with some mates and just enjoyed their company, watching the TV and having a laugh.

The following night, though, I went back for the football. She was there again on her own, so I went over and we started chatting for a bit, but I went to a nearby bar to watch the game as they didn’t have it on.

There was just something about her that made me go straight back to the bar afterwards to see her again.

When I got back, I went to sit with her again. We drank, she was polite, not pushy, played some pool, and did a lot of flirting. She obviously liked me, so after a few more drinks together I barfined her….

And that, gentlemen, was the beginning of one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride for me.

Barfining Her for the First Time

In the beginning, I only barfined her once in a while and knew she had other customers. That was no problem because I knew how things worked there and I didn’t see it as anything more than a bit of fun at the time.

Then as time went on she impressed me more… minding my money, no lady drinks, good company, and wasn’t asking much from me…

After a few dates together well, I guess I can call them dates I was gradually falling for her, against my better judgment.

This went on for about 3 weeks. I should have got rid of her as soon as I could notice my feelings creeping in, but that is easier said than done.

The first time I caught her lying, I should’ve just left it there and walked away.

Seeing Her at the Bar Again

One night I saw her in the bar with another guy. She was all over him, kissed him right there, and he barfined her.

She wasn’t my girlfriend or anything, but it still got to me because by then I had started catching feelings for her. Yeah, I know how that sounds.

I messaged her about the guy, and she straight up said she wasn’t even there. Yet I was sat in the bar across the street watching the whole thing.

I even told her I could see her from where I was, and she still stuck to it. She doubled down like I was the one making things up.

She wouldn’t admit she was with him and kept trying to tell me she didn’t even work there anymore.

The First Major Warning Sign

That was the first big warning sign and I should’ve ended it right there, but like an idiot I carried on seeing her.

Deep down I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew I was choosing to ignore what was right in front of me because I didn’t want to lose her.

I truly believe once they see you’ll accept the lies and still come back, that’s it, you’re done. After that they know they can say whatever they want. A liar stays a liar, especially in that world.

So I kept to myself for a few days and tried to get her out of my head as much as I could.

I told myself that was it, that I needed to clear my head and get out of this stupid feeling with a bar girl. No chasing, no checking up on her, just space.

A Silence Between Us

I didn’t message her, and she didn’t message me either. She never texted when she was with another guy anyway.

After three days she messaged me. I already had feelings for her, so of course I replied. I’m the type who feels things properly when I do, and it doesn’t happen often. I know I was stupid getting like that over a bar girl I barely knew.

As soon as she texted, everything I’d told myself about staying away just went out the window. I didn’t even wait; I just answered like I’d been hoping she would message the whole time.

She said she wanted to come back to me and didn’t want to see that guy anymore because they were arguing or whatever. That’s after he’d offered her 20K baht for the month.

She also told me they didn’t do anything together, just went around a bit. I didn’t buy that for a second.

Her Promise to Stay

She said she’d stay with me for a month for 10K. I told her I wasn’t looking to have a bar girl full time. Back then, I still had a bit of sense.

To be honest, I never really believed most of what came out of her mouth anyway.

I didn’t agree to the month, but I started seeing her more often. Going out together didn’t cost me much, supposedly because she liked me.

She didn’t go back to the bar after those three days with that guy, at least not then, so I wasn’t paying any barfine.

That made me feel like maybe she was choosing me properly. It gave me a bit of false confidence, like we were moving away from all that bar scene.

Spending More Time Together

We started spending more time together, just not every single day.

I was learning more about her bit by bit, but who knows how much of it was real. By then I was in love, and she said she was too. Maybe that was another lie. Still, I could tell she liked being with me, at least more than the older guys she normally dealt with.

I started ignoring little things that didn’t quite add up. Small comments, small stories that changed slightly. I’d notice it, but I’d tell myself not to overthink it because I didn’t want to ruin what we had.

The warning signs kept coming. We weren’t even official, but one time I called her out on a lie and she said, “If you were my boyfriend, I wouldn’t lie to you.” That one got me, because I don’t lie to anyone, no matter who they are. I don’t mess around, and I’ve got nothing to hide from anyone.

Again, I know I sound like a complete idiot.

A Trip Home for Her Belongings

One day she went home to get some clothes for the beach, and I went off to sort a few things out.

I wasn’t even thinking about drama that day. It felt normal, like we were just doing regular couple stuff.

I walked past her bar and saw a mate of mine there, so I stopped for a quick chat.

Five minutes later she walks in, doesn’t notice me, and goes straight over to sit with some older farang.

It was the way she did it so easily. No awkwardness, no surprise, just straight back into bar mode like nothing had changed.

She Comes Straight Over

Then she sees me and comes straight over. I asked her what she was doing there with that guy, and she said he was just an old friend who’d asked her to meet for a drink.

And of course she says she’s never been with him.

I told her I wasn’t buying it and told her we were supposed to be going to the beach together.

It hurt that she couldn’t stay away from the bar. It made me think she was still working there somehow, maybe even freelancing, even though she’d been with me most days by then.

It just didn’t match up with what she’d been telling me. If we were moving forward, why was she still hanging around there like nothing had changed?

Believing We Were Building Something

I honestly thought we were building something and that she was happy being with me.

I told her to get her things from my hotel and to go with the guy if she wants to.

I wasn’t even shouting at that point. I was calm, just tired of the same story playing out again.

She said she was about to message me to say she was there and all that… but it sounded like more BS to me.

I left it there once she got her stuff from my room.

Her Message the Next Day

The next day she messaged me, trying to sneak her way back in again, saying sorry for what she did.

She said she didn’t go with him yeah, right and that she wanted to see me.

From the start, her pattern was always the same. If she was with a guy, I wouldn’t hear a word until the next day when she woke up.

It didn’t take a genius to figure that out. After a while it became obvious, but I still kept pretending it wasn’t what it looked like.

She must’ve thought I was a fool, and to be fair, I was.

Taking Her Back Again

I took her back again and told her I wasn’t putting up with any more rubbish. Deep down though, I knew it was already finished.

There were loads of other moments I should’ve walked away, but I loved her.

Every time something didn’t add up, I’d clock it straight away. I’d remember what she said before and see the gaps.

I knew half her stories didn’t make sense, and I’ve got a good memory, so I noticed.

I reckon they lie so much they forget what they’ve said and who they’ve said it to.

Explaining the Complicated Story

I know I’m going on a bit, but here’s some of what I found out about her after being with her most days for a couple of months, plus a few big things that happened.

I’m sure there’s plenty more she never told me the truth about either.

Any time we had a little break, she’d go straight back to the bars or go out drinking. That’s her world, that’s all she really knows.

Her daughter is 26 years old and has worked in Pattaya since the age of 18.

She told me it was just how things ended up for them. One started working in the bars, then the other followed not long after.

Following Her Daughter to Thailand

My girl actually followed her daughter here to work in bars too after leaving a Thai boyfriend and a factory job.

Mother and daughter worked in the same bar! I asked her if she minded seeing her daughter working in a bar, and it didn’t faze her at all.

Her daughter has an Aussie boyfriend and a child with him. Also, she has a string of sponsors.

From what I was told, the Aussie did pretty much everything for her. Flights, bills, the lot.

He had just built a house in Isaan for the daughter and child. He pays for everything, and she contributes nothing.

The Relationship Looks Settled from Outside

From the outside it looks sorted, but it’s all coming from him. She just waits for the next transfer.

He now has to go back to OZ soon and work as he is almost out of money.

And the sad part is, he’s doing all that for someone who isn’t even into him like that.

The daughter doesn’t love him and is still in love with a previous Thai boyfriend who doesn’t want her anymore.

My girl had an Aussie boyfriend also who was in his mid 20s. He came here on a few trips when he could.

Another Man Caught in the Same Situation

He sounded like another one who got caught up in it all, flying over and trying to keep her happy.

He took her to OZ twice, spent stupid amounts of money on her too. He spent lavishly gold, shopping sprees, anything she wanted really.

READ FROM HERE

From the way she told it, when the money was flowing everything was fine between them.

But she doesn’t see him anymore because he lost his job and has no more money to visit Thailand.

Arguments with the Australian Man

Her and the Aussie bloke were always arguing.

One story she told me was about a fight they had at the guesthouse he was staying in. They argued in the room. She’s got the worst temper I’ve ever seen, by the way. She ran downstairs, slipped on the stairs, and ended up bruised up.

The boyfriend came down after her and it all kicked off. She called her family to come over, and they started throwing chairs, snooker balls, whatever they could get their hands on at him.

He ran off in the end and still had to pay for all the damage. In her rage she even went to the police and said the bruises were from him, which wasn’t true. Later she cooled off and dropped it.

She’s got a load of gold sitting in a pawn shop and keeps paying every month to stop it being gone for good.

Pawning the Gold

She said she pawned the gold because she’d blown a lot of money gambling.

She’s got the most childish way of living I’ve ever seen. No morals, no standards, serious anger problems, and most of what she says isn’t true.

Sometimes she was actually sweet and caring with me, and not even asking for much money either.

But it’s almost impossible to ever point out what she is doing wrong, or a lie, because she will go into a rage and lose all sense of logic and reasoning.

The second I questioned anything, it would turn into full drama. Shouting, storming off, acting like I was the bad one.

Leaving and Returning Hours Later

She would leave and then appear hours later saying sorry, or sometimes two days later, and mostly it’s her fault too.

If I ever questioned her about her phone use and other guys she talks with, she gets angry or flat out denies contact with other previous customers online. Total BS, I know.

She yells extremely loud when angry in my room and doesn’t care about other guests where I stay.

A lot of the arguments we had were due to me calling her out on her deceit and lies and her downright questionable behaviour.

She has thrown numerous tantrums in my room over almost nothing, throwing things and just going crazy.

The Night She Completely Lost Control

One time she completely lost it because I wouldn’t give her money. She said she was going back to the bar. I told her fine, but that would be the end of us.

She couldn’t handle that I didn’t fold. It was like the second I stood my ground, she had to create a scene to flip it around.

That same night she turned crazy again, ran downstairs wearing just a towel, made up some story to security, and I had to get them to step in and get her out. They barely did anything to help but watch!

It was chaos. Guests staring, staff pretending not to get involved, and me just wanting the ground to swallow me up.

We ended up in a standoff in the lobby, and I was embarrassed as hell. I kept telling her to leave, and she tried to book her own room there just to stay out of spite. Then after all that, she said she wanted to leave anyway.

The Argument Was Not About Staying

It wasn’t even about staying. It was about not backing down. She just didn’t want to feel like she’d lost the argument.

She said she just “wanted to win.” In the end the manager wouldn’t give her a room, and she stormed off shouting abuse at me. I just stood there not even knowing what to say.

I know during our little two day breakups she probably saw a guy or two. She denies most of it, then comes back saying she loves me. In her own twisted way, I think she actually believes that.

It was always the same cycle. Break up, silence, then she’d return like nothing really happened, acting like we were meant to be.

I pulled her up about some stuff she’d posted online and a few photos.

Finally Feeling Done

By that point I was just done with all the lies.

This particular moment it was around breakfast time and we were in my room. This was after I’d taken her back again, even though I knew I shouldn’t have. She’d been gambling again, lying about things, being secretive about where she’d been and what she was doing, and I still let her back in.

She got really angry when I called her out again, stormed out into the hallway, and stood down at the end of it like she was ready to kick off.

I could see the switch in her face. I’d seen it before and I knew what usually came next.

I knew this was going to get out of control again. I thought fast and asked her to come back inside, but she refused.

Knowing Where It Was Headed

I knew where this was headed for sure. I went inside my room, got her shoes, clothes, and handbag, and walked toward her to try to give them to her, as by then I didn’t want her in my room making trouble again.

She knew this time I wasn’t messing around, so she bolted down the stairs toward reception again. I caught up with her on the stairs before she made it down there.

By this point I was fuming. I threw her bag and clothes to her and told her to f off.

She came marching back down the hallway toward me, right in front of two security cameras and a cleaning lady.

She was in a rage, started trying to come at me, which the cleaning lady saw so I had a witness, luckily.

The Manager Hears Everything

By then the manager had heard all the noise and came over to see what was going on. I just looked at her and said, “You need to get her out of here now.”

She started saying stuff to the manager, and I cut in and said don’t listen to her, she’ll just lie about me.

We went down to reception. She stood there for a minute causing a scene, then finally left, still shouting on her way out.

There were marks all over my face for all to see. The manager asked me if I wanted the police, and I said no, and tried to clean myself up.

Later she messaged me saying sorry and asking to come back again. After all that drama, I didn’t want her anywhere near me.

Still Loving Her

I still loved her though, and that’s the part that messed with my head.

She asked if we could talk later, so I met her nearby. We sat down, talked it through, and she said sorry again.

In my head I was done by that point. We went to watch a movie and she was acting all sweet again. After that we walked down to the beach. I told her straight that what she’d been doing to me wasn’t right. And like always, she just denied it and stuck to her stories.

I looked at her and right then I knew there was no fixing it. I said goodbye, turned around, and walked off.

She started messaging me later with threats, saying she’d leave me for good and not come back, saying she’d go meet another guy, then switching and starting to say she loved me. Then she said if I didn’t see her that night, she’d be gone for good.

Wanting My Own Life Back

By now I didn’t care and wanted my peace back. I turned off my phone.

I haven’t heard anything since. I assume she either has been gambling or freelancing now that there is no money from me and she realizes I have had enough.

She was always talking about money, always calling me and other guys cheap Charlies, even though she’d barely ever bought me a beer or anything at all. Then she told me that if I wanted a future with her, I’d have to buy her a new motorbike.

She asked me to pay 16K to get some of her gold back instead of me paying her daily. Of course I declined the request.

All her friends are scamming bar girls too or close to the industry. They are always comparing sponsors, boyfriends, etc.

A Life Focused on Bars

She seems to have no interests besides bars, meeting people, sleeping, and eating no hobbies or any interest in getting a normal job.

It’s just about getting a farang to take care of her long term, I guess.

She would constantly accuse me of being with other ladies, which I don’t do. She just seems so far gone in many ways.

There is lots more, but I think I paint the picture.

So yeah, I’m educated, I’ve got a solid career, I’m doing fine money wise, and she never rinsed me or locked in the long term deal she probably wanted. But even so, I still feel like a complete idiot for putting up with her and all the chaos she dragged into my life… or more like, that I allowed into my life.

The Good Moments Were Real

Sometimes she was amazing, honestly. She could be a really good girlfriend when she wanted to be. But when she flipped, it was on a level I’ve never seen before. The lies, the mind games, the way she twisted things it was next level.

I’m not saying all bar girls are like this, I’m really not. But this one is a perfect example of how messy it can get and why getting involved with someone like her can seriously mess you up.

This is why a lot of guys that come to Pattaya or Thailand in general will swear by the 3 day rule. If you like a girl, don’t spend more than 3 days with her because when feelings eventually develop, it’s hard to walk away.