They Met Women in Thailand, Then Things Took an Unexpected Turn

I am not saying that this applies to all ladies and all cases, but I will talk about three different encounters in particular.

I am not looking to pay for aerobics. I don’t need to. Back in Europe and also in Asia, I have plenty of opportunities to get that through normal dating. However, my brain is always looking to trigger my endorphins as the bar and freelance scene in Thailand triggers that in a huge way, almost uncontrollably. This is due to me having ADHD and being high on that spectrum.

The first story is about a bar girl in Lamai. While I was strolling the streets and the bars of Lamai, I walked past a bar where I saw this beautiful little woman at a pool table. At the time, she was with a customer and in the usual fashion, the entire bar tried to pull me in. Despite being with a customer, she quietly walked over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I smiled back and, understanding she was with a customer, I left it at that.

The next day, however, I made my way back to the bar to see if she was available. And luckily, she was. She came directly to me. We hugged and started with a game of pool. Of course, during the pool game, she would make contact as often and seductively as possible. All good so far. Endorphins in full swing.

We talked for a while. Where is she from? Isan. Does she have kids? Yes. One daughter staying with her mom. I caught her in a few lies and playfully confronted her with them, telling her I don’t care what she does, but who she is. With that, the ice was broken and we had as honest a conversation as possible about her work, how many customers she has, and what she makes.

By then, it was already late and I wanted to go to sleep. We exchanged numbers and I left without taking her with me.

The next day, we started texting and it was her time of the month, which for her is always quite painful, with contractions. She needed to stay at the bar or pay the bar fine. I offered to pay the bar fine until she was okay. And for that time, she joined me.

Because of this, we were able to talk a lot. She talked about herself, and I talked about myself from experience. And I know that if you are respectful, you can be straightforward, and if you do this right, you will get truthful answers.

So it goes something like this. “Are you okay with the work you do?” “No, I hate it. The customers will never know this, but I do not want to do it. It is simply a means to an end. I select my customers carefully, but you don’t always get it right. I have never developed feelings for customers. Never.”

And that is what hit me. She has been suppressing her feelings for so long that she is unable to be herself and probably doesn’t even know how to do that. This hit me quite hard because I could see she is a good person.

Her Plans to Build a House and Start a Business

Asking her about her dream brought a surprisingly simple answer, but it seemed far away for her. The plan was to continue this work for another year so that she could build a house back home and start a business. We did the calculation together and the year made sense. But what sort of business it should be was not clear yet.

Unfairly, I offered to solve this problem instantly. But I immediately regretted this and she also said she needed to do this by herself.

She stayed longer than we planned. So in the end, it was mutually fun for us. We stay in contact and we meet when she does not have customers.

The main takeaway is the feeling she is suppressing all the time. I also clearly notice this on the day she is with a customer. She pushes herself into the background.

My savior complex, which many men seem to have, would love to solve this, but I’m not going to, nor can I do it. Never think you can buy your way in. You can listen, support, and respect, and when it develops into something more, you can start to help.

Story 2 Meeting a Freelancer on Tinder in Koh Samui

The second story is probably sadder than the first and also touched me. We met on Tinder. She was an extremely beautiful lady who was easy to text with. Soon the question came up as to whether it was a date or whether she was a freelancer. It turned out to be the latter.

Now the conversation got a little confusing and I ended up doing something I’d never normally do. I went to her place instead of going out first. I arrived at a beautiful building with security and everything. Her apartment was also high-end. It turned out she was a premium lady, but for some reason she told me a not so premium price. When I asked why she did this, she said she had no idea, just as I had no idea why I went there.

I explained that I don’t usually do this and we talked about that for a while. So, we agreed just to talk. I started asking the usual questions. She seemingly had everything: a fully equipped Ford Ranger, although on finance, a customer had given her the 300,000 baht for the down payment; a beautiful apartment; everything to make her look premium. And we’re talking rates like 10K to 15K per hour.

Although her income was pretty high, probably higher than many of her customers’, after all the fixed costs and money to her family, she didn’t have much left.

Then the question came about whether she could deal with the work she does. And immediately the tears came. “No, I have to go to a place in my head every time I’m with a customer. Every customer. Afterwards, I cry and ask myself why I do it. But the answer is to provide for the entire family.”

So I asked, “Your family is happy. Your customers are happy. But are you?” And I put my hand over her heart. More tears. Uncontrollable this time. This girl was clearly struggling deeply.

In the end, our talk made her feel better, allowing her to throw out all that pain, even if only for a moment. She held me the entire time. I was at least happy I could do something for her. I left her without aerobics. After what we had talked about, that was simply not possible.

The next day, she texts me asking if I was interested in going with her to a concert at the Hangout on Samui. She had bought tickets. At first, I hesitated and I asked in what capacity. She replied, “What would you like?” I said, “Friends.” And she thanked me for that. We had a great evening, danced, laughed, and she looked really happy.

We ended up in her apartment without even discussing it and had a great time. Again, I was not a customer. I don’t know what will come from this. I don’t want her to get her hopes up, but I told her she can talk to me whenever she feels like it. We’re in contact daily. She keeps sending me pictures of that evening. I think we look great together.

The core of this story is the pain she had due to her sacrifice for her family. The great discomfort she is in when working and having no clear way out are a recipe for disaster.

Story 3 A Bar Girl Supporting Her Daughter Without the Father

The third story is different. I was extremely bored and needed to go out. I had an uncontrollable urge to go out and look for trouble. I was not paying attention to the location, which later got me into a lot of trouble, but I’ll put that aside. I drove my bike through a street of bars and initially saw nothing that would interest me, but eventually I did.

We started with a game of pool where she quickly made physical contact, always nice. Afterwards, we got talking. We talked again about her customers and especially because of the low season, the lack of them, and the immediate loss of income.

The conversation went deeper and all of a sudden a little three-year-old girl walked in whom I knew from a restaurant belonging to friends of my ex-girlfriend together with a ladyboy who often takes care of her. This was the lady’s daughter. I had to pay for this later when my ex found out and sent me to hell in many different ways even though we were not together anymore.

I knew the girl was half French, so I steered the conversation directly towards the father. “Where is he?” I asked. “He is back in France,” she said. “No money and he does not want to see the child.” He refers to his daughter as his biological child. She showed me the texts between them where he sent her really heartless words basically saying he does not want to be involved.

This was all quite recent. After this, she now needed to go to work to make money. Although I caught her in several lies, I believe the story about the father. She was and still is getting as much money out of customers as she can. Not because she is bad, but because she has no other way, stuck in an unforgiving world.

I think the takeaway from this is that you need to keep yourself accountable for what you do with these ladies. If you have kids together, don’t just abandon them. Take responsibility. The consequences for them are severe and heartbreaking.

I think it is important to keep in mind that the people are not defined by what they do but how they are and who they are. Many of these women may look heartless to you. They can switch their feelings off but still treat you like a boyfriend but afterwards it is over unless you can connect on a different level.

Things do not happen to you. They happen because of you. You are responsible for your actions.

Also, when you get involved with these women, it can be very painful or very rewarding. But it’s up to you. Never expect a 23-year-old beautiful girl to fall in love with you when you’re 58. It just doesn’t happen. Be reasonable.

Most of all, they are people just like you and me. Treat them with respect and love. Be a good person.

Story 4 Meeting Som on the Bus From Bangkok to Cha-am

For context, I’m a 60-year-old Englishman recently retired in Bangkok after 15 years of living and working in Australia. I’ve been divorced for around 10 years, and I have an adult daughter who lives in Adelaide. Retirement and Thailand are amazing, and by way of background, I came here because retirement in ultra-expensive Australia was out of the question.

Having time to spend on myself has done me the power of good. I’ve lost a load of weight and I’m in the best shape I’ve been in for 30 years.

I found that if you’re presentable and conduct yourself properly, you get attention from Thai women, even if you aren’t actively looking for it. And it’s quite the culture shock having been invisible to Western women for 10 years.

I’ve had a number of flings with Thai women and had some great experiences. The negative experiences I’ve had all had a financial element to them. I’m currently happy, single, and happy to remain that way, but have very recently had my resolve shaken.

Last week, I decided to have a break from Bangkok’s relentlessness and head down to lovely Cha-am for the weekend. It was a last-minute decision and I jumped onto a Hua Hin minibus or suicide bus from Ekkamai.

I got to the bus station early and was offered a seat on an earlier bus which I readily accepted thinking it must have lots of spare seats. But I was wrong about that and I sat next to the window on the cramped bus grumpily watching as more people boarded and knowing the empty seat next to me was going to be filled.

Eventually, a group of three young, apparently Thai women stepped onto the bus. My mood wasn’t lifted when I saw that one of the two women in the group was carrying a potentially wailing baby. The group debated which of the few remaining empty seats they would take, and I casually hoped the young woman without the baby would sit next to me, and she did.

As we edged out of the permanently busy Ekkamai, I noticed that my neighbor sat closer to me than I would have been comfortable with if she had been a guy, even considering the limited space on the little bus. We nosed through the Bangkok gridlock, and my seatmate broke the ice by offering me a slice of the mango she was eating, which I politely declined, but I couldn’t help noticing her beautiful smile.

As we negotiated the choked streets of the Bangkok suburbs, I chuckled out loud at the sight of a young girl on a motorbike with a dog on the back. My neighbor also laughed and we bonded over the moment.

Let’s call my neighbor Som. Her English wasn’t great, but through good Google Translate, I discovered that she wasn’t in fact Thai, but from neighboring Myanmar, specifically Shan State. She was returning with friends from a visit home and traveling back to Hua Hin where she lived and worked as a housekeeper in a nearby village. I knew that this wasn’t an everyday interaction and this was confirmed in my mind when she asked if I was traveling alone. I confirmed that I was and told her that I was heading for Cha-am. Som had told me she was 31, single, never married, and had no kids.

Offering Som a Hotel Room in Cha-am

We continued to chat on the journey. Nothing significant, just pleasant chitchat until eventually Som told me that her landlady had been in touch and that her room had flooded. I’m hypervigilant when it comes to hard luck stories from local women and this got my guard up.

Nevertheless, as we approached Cha-am, I fought against my common sense and offered a solution. I told her that she could share my room as I was pretty sure the room had two beds or at least a sofa. I assured her that there would be no ulterior motive and there would be no funny business from me.

I made sure she knew that I would fully understand if she didn’t feel comfortable, but after a while she agreed and said that she was grateful not to have to pay for a hotel room.

After this, I got up from my seat as we approached Cha-am and alighted from the bus. As I turned around on the main road, there was no Som, just the minibus disappearing down the road to Hua Hin.

At first, I thought my offer may have been lost in translation and that Som would be sitting on the bus wondering where I’d gone. So, I sent her a LINE message apologizing if there had been some confusion.

Som replied that she understood my offer and was grateful, but she wasn’t comfortable staying with me. I understood this and was happy with having done the right thing, but also with not having passed up an opportunity as I had done so often in the past. I went on with my day and checked into my hotel.

Som Arrives in Cha-am and We Visit the Night Market

Half an hour later, my LINE app buzzed with a message. It was Som asking me if I checked in. I replied that I had, and it was just as well that she didn’t take me up on my offer as there was in fact no spare bed or sofa in the room.

There was no immediate reply from Som. So, I got showered and went out for dinner and a couple of beers, putting it to the back of my mind.

Before I could choose a restaurant, my LINE app buzzed. Som again: “Is your offer still open? Can I sleep with you tonight?” Wow, she had a way with words.

Half an hour later, Som arrived in Cha-am. She had quickly got changed and it was the first time I had seen her when we weren’t on a crowded minibus. She was stunning.

We strolled around the busy night market eating street food, listening to the live music, and grabbing a couple of drinks while Som held the fingers of my right hand. Whatever was going on between us was remaining unsaid.

Eventually, Som said that she was tired from a day of traveling, and we went to my hotel. I made sure the room was dimly lit to allow for modesty, and I got into bed wearing a T-shirt and boxer shorts, aware that Som was similarly attired.

This is where the modesty ended. Som cuddled up to me, and I quickly discovered that she had wandering hands. So, obviously, the aerobics were inevitable.

Travelling to Hua Hin With Som and Noticing Red Flags

It wasn’t until the light of the morning that I could see just how beautiful Som was, with a slim figure, smooth honey-colored skin, long silky hair, and a dazzling smile. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever slept with. She wanted to know when I was going back to Bangkok. As one of the many joys of retirement is not having a schedule, I booked us a swish hotel in Hua Hin.

Som held my hand and she slept again against my shoulder on the taxi ride down there and I felt like a young man again in a way I hadn’t felt in 40 years.

We went out that night and Som let loose and was so much fun. She doesn’t drink and four pineapple juices were enough for her to be dancing up a storm with other girls from Myanmar in a Hua Hin bar.

The following day, Som took me to her place, which was modest. It was 3,000 baht per month in a block where lots of service workers live near the center of town.

She complained about her bedding. I took the hint and we went to a nearby mall and bought sheets, pillowcases, and a duvet. We said our goodbyes shortly afterwards and I took a much nicer bus back to Bangkok.

It wasn’t all sweetness and light and there were a few red flags. Some of the things she said didn’t quite add up. For instance, she had a faint scar from her navel which looked like a caesarean scar.

She hinted about the latest iPhone and she mentioned being short of money in a subsequent message. So, I sent her a couple of thousand baht.

Despite that, I’m so happy that fate put me on that earlier bus and I met this gorgeous young woman who, to be honest, rocked my world for a bit. We are still in touch and I’m not sure where this is going to go, if anywhere, but it seems as though there might be a future story in it.

Story 5 A Tinder Date in a Bangkok Shopping Mall

I am a 44-year-old man from the Czech Republic in Eastern Europe. I first went to Thailand out of desperation at the end of the COVID horror show. Thailand had quite friendly entry policies, so I went without knowing what to expect. I went there supposedly for 14 days, but I stayed much, much longer because I fell deeply in love with this country.

I was charmed by the cyberpunk feel of Bangkok, the exotic jungle on Koh Chang Island, and pretty girls everywhere. I arranged a few things at home and with a very savvy attitude I relocated to Thailand doing visa extensions and mostly successful visa runs to this day.

After nearly one year on Koh Chang and 6 months on Koh Kood, I relocated to Bangkok where I started dating using either street knowledge or the Tinder app.

Once I matched with this approximately 28-year-old woman on Tinder, nice but not beautiful, and we arranged a meeting in a big shopping mall where she worked. I’m not sure which shopping mall it was now because it was a bit far from where I stayed in On Nut, Sukhumvit, and I had no reason to go there ever again.

She told me she worked in an underwear shop on the fourth floor of the mall or something like that. So, I went there and I circled the floor searching for her. At one point, somebody waved a hand at me, but I didn’t think it was the Tinder woman because the person looked different. So, I continued my search.

Eventually, I got tired of that and decided to sit down in a milkshake bar on the same floor. And I texted her that I was waiting there because I couldn’t find her. She let me wait there for about 20 minutes, but then she finally appeared and sat down at the same table opposite me.

I was immediately alarmed by the threatening male energy this person was emanating. I was expecting gentle, kind, welcoming female energy, but this was shockingly firm and masculine.

I calmed myself down and analyzed the situation. We were in a public space and she probably didn’t notice that I suspected something was wrong. It is normal when people meet for the first time and they are a little bit off balance.

I looked at the person’s hand and saw she had long and quite strong fingers with veins clearly visible on the backs of her hands. These were not female hands for sure. She had no visible facial hair and I can’t remember whether she had the prominent Adam’s apple typical of men or not.

Questions About Lost Money and Her Children

Somehow we started a conversation and almost straight away she told me that she had lost something like 200,000 baht of her employer’s money that day because she had made some wrong purchase or something. I assumed she was preparing the way to scam me and I acted as if I was surprised in order to find out more about what happened, but I did not believe it.

Later, I tried to inquire whether she was a woman or not. So, I asked her several questions. For example, I asked whether she had any children. At that time, she knew that I was suspicious because the conversation was weird and my questions were not like normal chitchat.

She said she had two children. So, I pretended interest and I asked her to show me some pictures of them on her phone. She dived into her phone and it took forever. Yet still, she couldn’t produce any pictures of her children.

I expressed my amazement that she had no pictures of her children. So, she dived into her phone again. Finally, she showed me a picture where there were two children in the far distance. I asked her if this was the only picture of her children she had, and of course, she told me she had the other pictures on her second phone.

By that time, I was sure this was a ladyboy, but not one of the pretty ones you can see in the bars, who often look like supermodels. This one was more manly and clearly had some agenda.

From YouTube, I knew that they can sometimes be dangerous and aggressive or they can lead you into a trap. I didn’t want to say straight away that I thought she was a ladyboy because I felt that this person was dangerous. So, I played for time and waited for my opportunity to sneak away.

Leaving the Bangkok Mall Through a Service Elevator

I suggested leaving the shopping mall and going to some restaurant. She agreed. My hope was that her motorbike was parked somewhere other than mine and I would manage to get away when we separated to get our bikes. My motorbike was parked outside in a spot designated for short-term parking.

As we were leaving the milkshake bar, I noticed a hallway at the end of which there were restrooms. I told her that I needed to visit the toilet and I asked if she could wait for me there. She had no problem with that and waited at the entrance to the hallway.

I think it was intuition. But as I was turning right towards the restrooms, I noticed that if I went the other way, there were big doors to a service elevator designed for carrying staff and goods around the shopping mall.

After I was done in the restroom, I swiftly crossed the opening where the ladyboy could see me. I was lucky because she was looking sideways and probably did not notice me crossing the T-shaped end of the hallway.

I called the elevator and felt like Ellen Ripley at the end of the 1986 movie Aliens as she hoped to escape with little Newt from the Alien Queen using the service elevator.

After the elevator arrived, I went down to the underground parking area, then out of the shopping mall, sat on my motorbike and left the place. A few blocks away, I blocked the ladyboy on Tinder and that was that.

Maybe I could have chosen a more relaxed approach to this situation, but this person was different. And from the first moment I sensed danger, needless to say, I’m quite happy with my solution. It was a great adventure, and I’m well aware that I made it that way. Like in a thriller movie, I could have left openly, but I chose this stealth escape.

In comparison with Western countries, Thailand, especially Bangkok, is a bit like a jungle, but it is part of its charm. I do not complain. I just wanted to tell you this particular adventure of mine.