Thailand Girlfriend Nightmare Situation

I am not sure if im being scammed or my girlfriend is playing the long game of some sort, but I hope and pray that is not the case.

I am a 30 year old from a cold part of the US, and have been travelling to Thailand for 7 years.

I quickly fell in love with the country and it became a dream of mine to pack up, leave the US and move to Thailand.

My First Adventures In Thailand

The first time I went to Thailand, I went to Bangkok, I did not know much about the night life and I had never really heard of Pattaya.

It was not until the 3rd or 4th time I was in Thailand that I actually went to Pattaya and started getting involved with the nightlife and the bar girls.

I did all the barfines, short times, long times and whatever else I could do.

It was pretty fun, but I knew that I would eventually want a girlfriend in a serious relationship, and respectfully, I don’t think I could of had that with a bar girl.

Moving to Pattaya for Work

Anyway, Last year, as fate would have it, I was offered the opportunity to work and live in Pattaya.

It came from one of my friends that has lived in Thailand legally a long time and worked there, spoke the language and put a good word in for me.

This job was a legit job, with a work visa and all the paper work, not a cash in hand bar manager job on some type of education visa.

I was qualified in what I do, so all the paperwork was pretty simple, I just had to sign a couple of things and the company did the rest.

It came with a lot of perks, fully finished apartment, a bike, a car if I needed one, the salary was decent, though wouldn’t make me rich, and the work permit and visas paid for by the company.

I did not mind the salary, it was more the chance of being able to live in a country I love.

Although it wasn’t a super great salary, it was still around minimum wage where I am from, and that’s a lot in Thailand.

It was literally a dream come true, something I never thought would happen.

Moving To Pattaya To Live Was A Dream Come True

I was 29 when I first moved to Pattaya and I told myself that I was not going to waste my nights in the bars with bargirls which could easily send me down a slippery slope.

I had done a lot of the Pattaya nightlife in my early and middle 20’s anyway, all of that was out my system, I was hoping to meet a girl working a normal job that I could have a relationship with.

Now if you have been to Pattaya before, you will know it’s not easy to find a girl working a normal job and not a bargirl.

Even if you do find a Thai girl working a normal job, the chances are she freelancers on the side via dating apps or just hanging around the bars at night.

So with that in mind, I decided to try out some online dating and set the radius a bit further than just Pattaya.

Online dating in Thailand is great, there are a lot of freelancers, ladyboys and bargirls on there but they make it pretty clear from the first few messages that’s what they are using the app for.

On the other hand, there is plenty of great looking Thai girls, working normal jobs, living a normal life and looking for someone to have a serious relationship with, you just have to look a bit further than just Pattaya.

Searching For A Relationship Is Not So Easy In Pattaya

There are a lot of girls on there searching all different types of relationships, friends with benefits, one night stands and paid to play fun.

I was searching for a girl I could start a relationship with, I wanted a girl I could respect and a girl that also respected herself as well.

I did not want just a casual thing or a one night fling, I wanted to find a girl I could possible have a future with a settle down in this new life with.

As I said, I have done all the bar scene stuff in my earlier days, I did not want to get serious with a bar girl as we know that would end in tears.

Plus, paying for a girlfriend is not exactly something that is going to last in the long run.

After finishing work and getting back to my apartment every day, I did have to fight the urge to just go out and have fun with bar girls.

I know what the night life can do to a man that moves to Pattaya, I did not want to become broke and stuck in a rut.

I have seen many men come here with high hopes, get absolutely drained and have to go home heartbroken and penniless, I did not want to become another farang statistic.

Resorting To Dating Apps To Find A Thai Girlfriend

I had been chatting to one girl for about a month online that I really wanted to meet, the only thing was she was living in Hua Hin, not Pattaya.

After a month of chatting and getting to know each other, it was time to see each other face to face.

According to her, she wasn’t a bargirl, never worked in any tourist entertainment work and seemed like a down to earth girl.

So Last December we agreed to meet in Bangkok, she would travel there from Hua Hin, and I would travel from Pattaya.

We planned on going out for dinner and a drink and then back to the hotel.

I did ask if she would like us to get 2 separate rooms but she was ok with just 2 separate beds for the first night together.

For the first 2 months of living in Pattaya, I did not go with any bar girl, but I am so glad I waited because it allowed me to meet this girl.

I don’t want to sound cringy, if I have not done that already, but the only way I can describe this girl for me is the word perfection.

Have I Just Met The Thai Girl of My Dreams?

She is half Chinese, her father Chinese and her mother is Thai.

She is tall, beautiful, respectful, fun has goals and ambitions, great outlook on life and has a big heart.

The exact type of woman I was looking for.

She was also a very hard worker.

She had a job with her family business on the evenings and also attended university in the days.

Our first meeting was great as well, it couldn’t have gone any better in my eyes.

We went to the little Korean town part on Sukhumvit road that has lots of restaurants and bars.

It was great, and we also got a lot of attention for some reason.

So many Koreans wanted to buy us a drink, im not sure if that is normal from Koreans but they sure did love to drink with us.

After we eaten and had many drinks together and with a group of Koreans, we went back to the hotel.

We did have 2 beds, but in the end we just pushed them together.

My First Night With A Possible Thai Girlfriend

Although we had no bedroom fun, we still had fun kissing, talking and just enjoying each others company.

Remember, a one night stand is not what I was after, if I wanted that then I would never have left Pattaya.

We got along that good that shortly after our first meeting, she had a month break from her studies and came to Pattaya to stay with me for the full month.

During this time, we got to know each other properly and it was really great.

We were always happy, never fighting, always found something to talk about, had similar interests and never got bored of each other.

It was a really perfect relationship, a match made in heaven so they say, we were both very happy.

She never wanted money from me, or asked me to buy this or that, but I did pay for our dates as I would have done the same in the UK also.

I was her first Farang boyfriend so she claims, this may or may not be true, but the way she acted around me and out in public lead me to believe she was telling me the truth.

Returning To Hua Hin To Start A Long Distance Relationship

After a great month together getting to know each other properly and me having the time of my life, she had to return to Hua Hin so she could work and go back to her studies.

We would only see each other at weekends, we would either meet in Bangkok or if I still had a bit of work to do over the weekend, she would make the 7 hour bus ride from Hua Hin To Pattaya just to be with me.

Not once did she ask me to pay for her journey to Pattaya even though I insisted.

After spending the weekend together she would then travel all the way back so she could go back to university the following Monday.

This went on for 2 months.

Next week, she will finish university for the year and stay with me in Pattaya while she decides what to do next, she has been thinking about taking a long break from studies with the possibility of not going back.

She has shown interest that she wants to come and live with me in Pattaya while im working and maybe go to university closer to me.

Now The Troubles In Our Relationship Start

But anyway, this is where the nightmare side of the story begins.

Last week my girlfriend hit me with the great news that she is pregnant with my baby.

It was both a shock and exciting, as we hadn’t known each other a huge amount of time and was not officially in a relationship.

The relationship and pregnancy kind of just happened, it wasn’t planned at all, but I was happy with it.

I knew from the first day I met her that I could see myself starting a family with her in the future, just did not expect it to be this soon.

Now, before the comments start, I am 100% sure that it’s my baby, and I 100% trust that she has been faithful to me.

I Am Sure My Thai Girlfriend Baby Is Mine

We would talk every night, FaceTime and call each other, she trusted me and I trusted her.

We were both very happy with this news as starting a family is something I have always wanted to do, I will support them and give them everything I can give.

She would be a great mother and I can’t think of anything else id want in life right now than to start a family with the woman I love.

I had met her mum and step father a couple of times, and although her step father seemed to like me, I could tell that her mother did not like me.

I did not do anything wrong, I think her mother just would have liked her daughter going out with an older more wealthy man.

Anyway onto the situation I am now .

The relationship with me and my girlfriend got flipped upside down and smashed against the wall when she got back to Hua Hin from visiting me.

My Girlfriend Mother Is Causing Issues Between Us

It turns out My girlfriends mother had taken money from another man and set her daughter up for an arranged marriage without my girlfriends consent.

This man had apparently met my girlfriend a couple of years ago, they had a fling and he met her parents, but it was nothing serious and when he went home they stopped contact.

Her mother insist that she break up with me and stop all contact with me.

She knew that her daughter was pregnant with my baby, she knew we were in love and she knew that we had future plans together.

I couldn’t believe it when my girlfriend told me this, my mood went from happy and excited from the news about the pregnancy to absolute chaos.

Here I was, telling friends and family I was going to be a father and life is great, to now be hit with this crazy news.

Here Comes The Money Issues

I told my girlfriend to tell her mum to give the money back and that we are not going to break up.

The problem is she had already taken the money and spent it on god knows what, the money can’t be given back and her mum has no way of making the money back.

Her mum and dad work as a vendor of some sort, they haven’t got any money between them.

They barely make enough to live, my girlfriend is studying and only works part time so she does what she can to help them financially but its not a huge amount.

Now let me be absolutely clear with the listeners, if there are any, my girlfriend 100% does not without a shadow of a doubt want to marry this man.

I Want To Believe My Girlfriend Is Telling The Truth

she claims she does not even know him properly and only met him a couple of times over the course of a week.

She has told me over and over again that she wants to be with me and that we are family.

I fully believe her, she has been making the commitment to travel just to see me and be with me.

Even though we are in the same country, it still felt like a long distance relationship of sorts that we both managed to make work up until now.

I was that annoyed and angry that I booked a week off from work and headed to Hua Hin to stay at a hotel with my girlfriend.

I did not want her around her mum while she was in the state, trying to brainwash my girlfriend.

I Want To Marry Her, But Her Mother Is A Problem

Her mother is trying her best to not allow her daughter to see me and to go through with the wedding that she has planned.

I really don’t understand how any mother can do this to their own child, knowing that she is pregnant and already happy with her life.

My girlfriend is like most Thai women, they love their parents very much and support them as much as they can, but she has made it very clear that she will not marry this man.

She has tried to tell her mum that she wants to be with me, but her mum is just trying to make her feel guilty because now she’s stuck having already taken the money.

I know she does not want to hurt her mum, but her mum did this to herself, she should have to deal with it herself.

Her Mum Has Already Set Her Up With Another Man

Her mother took close to 1 million baht from the man wanting to marry her daughter.

1 million baht is around 30,000 US dollars by the way, somewhere in that ball park.

My girlfriend reluctantly asked if I could pay the money back and she will pay me back over time.

I know my girlfriend was studying, and her future plans involved studying so it’s not like she is going to have a decent job anytime soon to pay me back.

She was crying while she asked me for help and said this is the last thing she wanted to be doing.

This is the first and only time my girlfriend has asked me for financial help.

Thai Girlfriend Is Asking For Money, But There Is No Other Way

The problem is I do not have money like that, there is no way I can give that much or even come close to it.

Even if I had that type of money I would be reluctant to give it her mother, she did this to herself, she should find a way out by herself.

Though now I have got the baby to think about so paying that amount and having my girlfriend and baby come with me would probably be worth it.

I really don’t want this to ruin our relationship, and I have considered taking a loan out from the US or asking family to help and I will pay them back.

Me giving her mother the money is my last resort, I want to see how this plays out and if I can fix it some other way.

If I could just take my girlfriend away from her parents so we can live happy I would, but my girlfriend will not leave her mother in this mess.

I do understand.

it’s her mother, its family, but at the same time, she will be having a new family soon that she also has to think about.

Trying To Have A Loving and Good Future Together

All we want to do now is be together and start our family and future together, her mother really has messed things up for us.

The only thing I can hope that happens is that this man finds out my girlfriend is pregnant and no longer wants to go through with marrying her.

Then her mother can say well you’ve already paid the money and it’s your choice not to marry her, so you can’t get a refund, or something like that.

I just don’t know, but like I said, there is no way her mum can make 1 million baht to pay back.

She simply can’t just marry a man because her mother says so, that is ridiculous.

My girlfriend and I are going to be together and have this baby, we are going to be happy and have a life together, will he accept this and consider it a loss to a money hungry Thai mother? Im not sure.

I know her mother will have problems with this but its all her own doing, I would help when I can but I for sure don’t plan to give her a lot.

Her Mother Really Is A Crazy Gold Digger

I don’t know if he even has any legal advantage on getting his money back, or even if what the mum did is legal in the eyes of Thailand law.

I am currently in Hua Hin with my girlfriend and still talking about going to Pattaya for a year.

Sadly, because of what is going on now, she does not want to come with me just yet as we had planned.

She has told me that she can not leave her mum with this amount of debt and has to figure out a way to get the money.

I have told her to ask the man if she can pay monthly, that way I could give her money monthly to keep him off their back, again, giving my own money to her mum is my last resort.

I have told some of my friends in Pattaya that im close to about the situation I am in and they gave pretty much the same replies, which I hope are not true, but they think I am being scammed.

They say 1 of 2 things MAY be happening.

One, My girlfriend is playing the long game with me or just flat out trying to scam me.

This is where she is pretending to love me and care about me, planning the future and not asking for any money until some point she will ask for a large some of money, like now.

She cooked this plan up with her mother to pretend that she is pregnant and then say her mother has already taken money for her to get married.

Which means I have to help pay the money back so I can be with her.

Or Two, My girlfriend knows this man and its already her boyfriend or husband, and that they are both trying to scam me.

They said she is probably doing this to a lot of farangs and the husband is in on it all.

Just to note, I know my friends are trying to help me out, but I don’t believe any of these cases.

Friends and Family Tell Me I Should Leave Her

Although it’s my friends that have told me that this may be happening, these guys live in Pattaya and are around unfaithful girls all the time.

So I guess its easy for them to think straight away that the girl is out to scam me.

Remember my girlfriend is not from Pattaya, she’s not a bar girl or a freelancer.

I don’t think for 1 minute she is scamming me, and I hate to even think about it, because our relationship has been great so far apart from this.

And I really really really do not want to think that she is lying about being pregnant.

That would break my heart.

I think my girlfriend is innocent in all of this, she comes off very sweet and genuine, I trust her more than most people I know.

I honestly think her mother is just a scum bag and has seen a good money opportunity, taken it without considering the damage she would cause.

I Dont Know What To Do Now With My Relationship

I know this story is pretty unique, ive asked around and couldn’t find anyone that has been through something similar.

Ive found stories where the Thai girlfriends mother has ruined the relationships with money demands and what not but haven’t found any where the mother has done what my girlfriends has done.

I guess im just looking for some advice by sharing my story with your listeners, even if you haven’t been in this situation any suggestions on what I should do would be helpful.

I really do not want to leave my girlfriend, she really is the love of my life and now we have a baby on the way, but honestly, I do not have the money to get her and her mother out of this situation.

I knew that somewhere along the line I would have to support my girlfriends family financially, but never crossed my mind that I would have to help her get out of a situation she put herself in, and for that amount of money.

I really don’t know what the future holds, we went from being in a great relationship with no problems to an absolute nightmare of a situation, all thanks to her mother.

I guess it will be all down to my girlfriend on what to do next, but she is dealing with all of this, plus being pregnant and having university exams.

It really does suck that her mum has done this.

All advice and suggestions are welcome, I will be reading the comments, but please understand, this is not a bargirl or a freelancer, this is my girlfriend who is pregnant, I cannot just simply walk away.