Thailand Changed My Son For The Better

My son spent a month visiting Bangkok with me in July. I had searched and searched for information about what it would be like for a 16-year-old boy visiting Thailand and couldn’t find anything anywhere.

I was worried that he might hate it here. He was so set in his ways of just sitting around the house playing online video games and didn’t want to do anything else, including taking a trip to Thailand. In fact, his gaming habit had taken over his livelihood. He never went outside, had no real friends or girlfriends, and was content with his same old routine. As a father, I was truly worried about him. He was a good student but had no life outside of sitting around gaming all day. It’s all he ever wanted to do.

This was much more than what it was like for a teenage boy to visit Thailand. It’s about how it affected him in a way that changed his life forever. It’s about how his experience here had such a positive impact on him.

Background A Troubled Past

We live in a very nice part of California near the beach. My son was bullied in school because he was not athletic. It got so bad that I had to pull him out and place him in another school which didn’t require him to attend in-person classes.

The problem with that was that now he had no chance of making any new friends. He was extremely depressed and stayed inside the house all day just gaming and playing with his phone. Something had to change. It’s like his psychiatrists weren’t having any success with him. He told them what they wanted to hear, so they couldn’t see what was the underlying problem, except for maybe some previous mommy issues.

I forgot to mention that I took him four years ago when he was 12 years old because his mother couldn’t handle him anymore. He was very troubled. He was very different, difficult to get along with due to his unhappiness.

The Decision Returning to Thailand

I first visited Thailand 20 years ago and it changed my entire outlook of the world as I knew it. It was the best experience of my life. I stayed in Thailand for about six weeks, so I knew a little bit about what my son would be getting into. But my concern was: is he too young to enjoy it like I did?

My thoughts were probably so. They don’t have a lot of amusement parks here. It’s hot and humid and you walk a lot, which he hated to do. It’s full of bars and adult entertainment, which he was too young for, and I wouldn’t want him to start drinking and going to bars anyway. We could go to many of the nice beaches, but we already lived near a very nice beach at home and he never wanted to go.

From my past experience, I knew that there was one thing that Thailand had to offer that he would probably deeply appreciate. Having finally come to my senses to realize what this one little thing was, I decided that we’d take a trip to Thailand. I knew exactly what I had in store for him and planned on giving him the same experience that I had enjoyed so long before.

Now that I had a plan, I immediately bought the airline tickets and knew that our trip would go well. I stayed up late at night talking to him about how much fun he would have and told him everything that I knew about it from my past experiences. I had told him about the beautiful women here, but he didn’t seem to connect with what I was telling him. I think that he just didn’t believe me or thought that it was too good to be true. I think he was just thinking that he had to tag along with me and wouldn’t be able to spend all his time gaming and whatever it is he does all day in his room.

The Arrival First Impressions

So the adventure begins. We were dead tired when we first arrived, but I had already reserved a monthly rental apartment in the heart of Bangkok with the guidance of a friend I met there three months prior during a very brief trip. We were able to check in early morning because of this arrangement, and it made for a great start to our arrival.

We checked into our two-bedroom condo in the heart of downtown Bangkok. We were impressed with our accommodations and the incredible view of the entire city. Having such a nice place to stay whilst you visit here can make all the difference to anybody. Do not go too cheap. There are a lot of nice places you can stay without breaking the bank. Our vacation wouldn’t have been the same if we were slumming it in a cheap hotel off the beaten path.

We noticed that one of the two rooms had a private bath and corner windows with a panoramic view of the skyline. He asked whose room was whose, and I first thought obviously that one is mine, but quickly decided to let him have it. Why not? The other room looked great too, and I was trying to show him a good time. I really wanted him to experience my memories of Thailand from the last time. I figured it would help his outlook on the whole Thai experience.

The first few days we were just jet lagged and didn’t really know what to do or where to go. He was open to trying Thai food and the street vendors, but he initially wasn’t impressed with that. He gave it a good shot, but soon I was taking him to the usual Western fast food places, pizza places, or anything he was familiar with. You have to be fair about these things, and I didn’t want to spoil his trip right off the bat with food he wasn’t used to. It wasn’t a problem for me, except for paying Western prices.

We had to walk down a long street to get to the main road, so going out to eat all the time became somewhat of a chore. We could have just gotten something very tasty from a street vendor right outside the condo, but it was worth it for him to take the long walk for our meals. I was pleased that at least he wasn’t complaining about long walks anymore. Thailand was already having a positive impact on him.

The Life-Changing Moment Meeting a Girl

It was only after four days that we went out for dinner and somehow along the way back, he caught the eye of a beautiful girl just standing on the side of the road looking down at her phone. He was behind me, so I didn’t see what happened, but when I looked back for him, he was engaged in a conversation with that pretty young Thai girl.

I’ve never seen him talking to a girl before. I was thinking, this is really cool. I can’t say that I really knew what type of conversation they were engaged in, but she genuinely looked interested in him. I stood and waited there where I was a little bit ahead of him and tried not to stare at them. I just flipped out my phone and pretended to have something better to do myself.

They talked for a little while. I was dying to know what they were talking about. How did he catch her eye? Or was it her who caught his? How did the initial conversation start? Then, when I thought things couldn’t get any better, she grabbed his arm and started walking with him. They came up to me with her holding on to his arm. My son told me her name and that she wanted to hang out with him.

When I asked him where they were going, he told me that they were going back to the condo. I’m no fool to Thailand, but never saw this coming. Of course I told him that was okay as long as he knew how to get back to our room, and he told me that he knew where he was and that I shouldn’t worry. Off they went, just like that.

I was still standing there watching them walk off together in such amazement. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. This was not the boy I knew. This was not the kid who never talked to girls, had no friends except his gaming pals, and had never expressed any interest in girls.

Fatherly Pride Letting Go

It wasn’t until about three hours later that I decided to go back to our condo and check in with him. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I returned, but it wasn’t finding her shoes by the door. The second thing I noticed was that they weren’t hanging out in the living room. His door was closed. My little boy was probably having the best night of his life. So I went to bed. It was late and I was still getting over jet lag.

I figured in the morning we’d wake up and get some food. That didn’t happen. Her shoes were still by the door and his door was still closed. I’m thinking, heck, what is going on here? How could this kid be so lucky? I saw her with my own eyes. She was incredibly attractive and didn’t look too much older than my son.

I think that he might have really picked up on some girl, or maybe it was the other way around. Probably the other way around. But who cares? She’s still there and doesn’t want to leave him. And that’s exactly what happened. She didn’t want to leave. Guess they really hit it off.

So I’m thinking to myself, well, this could become uncomfortable for me to be staying in the room next door to my son who now has a girlfriend who wants to stay with him, and rightfully so, it would be awkward for any parent, I would imagine. But I wasn’t going to spoil his fun. In fact, I was very proud of him, and this is why I brought him here. He finally found something new in his life besides gaming and doing nothing.

A New Apartment for Them

I had to think fast. Actually, it didn’t take me long to figure out what I had to do. I got him his own studio apartment a few floors down. Thailand isn’t too expensive when it comes to condos or rooms, so I figured what the heck, why not. It was a very nice studio apartment. He was thrilled about that. I gave him the key, he grabbed his things, and they walked off to their own little retreat.

I felt very happy for him and could see it in his face and how happy he was. I wasn’t in a financial position to afford it; at least, it wasn’t in my budget, but I did it anyway. I guess I was determined to try and make it the best damn time he’d ever have here. I’ve been trying to explain to him how great Thailand was for the previous two months and he was having a difficult time seeing it. Now that he was finally seeing the benefits of Bangkok, I was eager to help him find a way to stay with his new girlfriend.

I’ve never claimed to be a moral leader of any kind and consider myself a caring and good father, so I have no guilt or shame about my role or my involvement with my son’s experience here.

A Month of Happiness

This is the part that gets truly difficult. She lived with him the entire month. They did everything together: shop, eat, go to museums, take transit. Almost like an old married couple. I believe that they had really connected and enjoyed each other’s company the entire time. I’ve never spent that much time with my ex-wife, unfortunately.

Good things don’t always last forever. He did have a departure ticket and there was no escaping that. I was saddened to see them have to say goodbye to each other and watch her get out of our taxi and walk off into the darkness. We didn’t talk much on the way to the airport, but he seemed to be okay, and I was relieved about that.

The Transformation A New Son

After four years of living with me and never speaking to his mum, he flew back to live with her while I stayed behind to plan on a bit of an early retirement here. They had a shaky start, but now they’re getting along great. He does everything she asks. He does whatever chores she asks without putting up a fight. He goes to bed when she tells him. He is attending a normal full-time school and doing quite well. He’s getting along with the other kids. He’s getting along with his younger sister.

There is no doubt in my mind that the kid who came to Thailand is not the same kid anymore. It’s like two different people. We communicate all the time with Skype and email, and I can’t believe how much more mature he is than before we left. He has truly, truly found himself and he likes what he sees.

He discovered a world he didn’t believe existed and can now think positively about his future. He understands that there is a place in this world that awaits him. He is driven by that fact and he reminds me of it all the time. From what I understand, he keeps in touch with his Thai girlfriend and they plan on seeing each other next summer.

There’s no doubt in my mind that he will get through the school year with flying colors and be thinking nothing else other than returning back to Bangkok and doing it all over again. He feels exactly the same way I did 20 years ago. And after 20 years, I finally made my way back and couldn’t be happier myself.

I was very happy to share the Thai experience with my boy, and it could not have worked out any better.